Self-Care for Women Who Put Everyone Else First

Why do so many women put themselves last—and how can you finally start prioritizing your own needs without guilt?

In this episode of Brave Moves, Julie DeLucca-Collins explores why women are conditioned to prioritize others over themselves and how that pattern leads to burnout, overwhelm, and disconnection.

If you feel like you’re always taking care of everyone else while your own needs fall to the bottom of the list, this episode will help you understand why—and give you practical steps to start reclaiming your time, energy, and identity.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

•  Why women are conditioned to put themselves last 
•  The hidden cost of always prioritizing others 
•  How burnout and resentment build over time 
•  Why “I’ll take care of myself later” doesn’t work 
•  How to start setting boundaries and choosing yourself 
•  A simple self-care shift that creates immediate impact 

Your Brave Move:

Schedule one non-negotiable act of self-care this week—and honor it like you would any other commitment.

 Final Thought

You don’t need to earn rest.

You don’t need to justify your needs.

👉 You just need to choose yourself.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey my friend, let me ask you something. When was the last time you put yourself first? You know, not squeezed yourself in and not checked something off your list. I mean, truly. And said to yourself, wow, this matters to me and I'm going to honor it. If you're anything like most women I work with, you're probably thinking, yeah, it's been a while since I put myself first. And today we're going to talk about something so many women struggle with. And that is putting yourself last. This is the struggle for women every time that I see someone burnout and exhausted. And why does it happen? Why does it feel so hard to change? Well, one brave move that you're going to get at the end of this episode is to help you start choosing yourself without guilt. But here's the truth: most women don't say it out loud. You just didn't fall into putting yourself last. You were trained to do it. You were taught to be the good girl, to take care of others, to be reliable and not to make waves and not to be quote unquote too much. Somewhere along the way, you learn that your needs come last. So now you're managing the house, growing a business or career, supporting everyone else, and holding emotional space as well. And you're wondering why you feel exhausted and resentful and disconnected. And it's not because you're doing it wrong, it's because you've been doing it all alone. You know, the hard truth is putting yourself last doesn't just cost you energy, it also costs you identity because when you constantly prioritize everyone else, you lose touch with what you want, what you need, who you're becoming. And then one day you wake up and think, How did I get here? And the lie is that we tell ourselves is that I'll take care of myself later. Once things calm down, when the season passes, but here's the reality check the season never ends because life will always ask something of you. So if you don't choose yourself on purpose, it won't happen by accident. The shift if is if taking care of yourself wasn't selfish. What if it was actually your responsibility? Because when you're rested and clear and grounded, you show up better for everyone else. And we need ourselves to show up the best that we can, but we're not. We're showing up in these fractured ways. And the most important thing, when you definitely show up better, you're showing up for your life. You're showing up for your life. You know, I see friends that forget that they have needs, they are running around helping everyone else. I have a client in particular that she loves to say yes to everything. And she does it because she wants to belong, she wants to matter, and yet when it comes to taking care of herself, she doesn't do it. And she ends up just exploding, exploding at the times that the pressure gets too high. And she's living in this pressure cooker. And I constantly tell her, hun, you need to stop. And she defines herself about what people are going to say and think if she stops doing for them, if she starts showing up in the way that she has. Because truly, we condition the people around us. And will it be uncomfortable when we don't show up for people in the way that they have been experiencing us? Yes, it's going to be uncomfortable for you, and it's going to be uncomfortable for them. But putting yourself first is a non-negotiable. And that's your brave move for today. You know, do something that is not productive, not something for someone else. Do something just for you. Frivolous. Maybe you're going to go sit at a coffee shop, or maybe you're going to go take a bath and read a book, or perhaps you're going to go for a drive around the block and blast your favorite song and sing your lungs out. Pick something. Because when your brain's your brain is saying you don't have time, ask yourself, what is the cost of not doing this and putting yourself first? Because the cost really is burnout, resentment, disconnection, and losing yourself. I'm going to give you permission right now. You are allowed to take up space in your own life. And you're allowed to rest without burning it, to say no without having to explain it to the world why you're saying no. No, complete sentence. And choose yourself without guilt. Because, my friend, you don't need to wait until you're completely burnt out to start caring for yourself. You don't need permission from anyone else to matter. And the moment you start putting yourself back into your life, everything begins to shift. And of course, if this episode resonated, please share it with another woman or make sure that you are subscribed so you don't miss another episode and these are delivered straight into your podcast app. If you haven't done so, I would love a review as well, friends. Reviews help brave moves to be found by other individuals. And they really do mean the world to me. And I read every single one. Now, if you want to join the community, there is a link in the show notes so that you can be a part of the Confident You Co-op. It is a supportive environment for women who are putting themselves first and creating an impact in the lives of others still, and also making sure that they're leaving their mark in this world. I want to make sure that we support you and we need you in this community. We need an incredible individual like you. So go find out more. It's free to join. And there's so many different things that are coming up that I know that you're going to love. So, my friend, this is a brave move. Putting yourself first and building the life that you've imagined. Until next time, I love you so much.