How Quiet Support Strengthens Relationships

Julie DeLucca-Collins shares the profound 'Sunflower Theory'—a metaphor for resilience, presence, and embracing imperfections during dark times. Discover how quiet support and self-acceptance can strengthen relationships and personal growth.

In this episode

In darkness, find others who reflect your light and support.
Presence and quiet support can be more powerful than words.
Accept your shadows and imperfections to truly connect with others.
Being there for someone without trying to fix everything is a profound act of love.
Choosing to face each other in dark times can strengthen bonds.

Transcript

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With Mother's Day coming up, I decided that I was going to look for some sunflowers because, unlike me who loves roses, my mom loves sunflowers. And as I started to do research as to who has sunflowers today and where I can buy them, I heard the most interesting thing. And it is the sunflower theory. And this is what I've heard. If you give someone sunflowers, you must always give them to. And it sounds pretty charming and it sounds like a nice tradition, but it's rooted in what I found to be a very profound truth about love. And listen, this is the two sunflower theory. And it reveals what happened when the perfect sunny days disappear. And only light lets you and one another create together a good bond. Now, here's what it is, right? During the day, when the sun is shining, bright sunflowers instinctively turn their faces to greet the warmth and the sun. And I love summertime because near my house, there are all these fields of sunflowers. And on a sunny day, they're pointing their beautiful faces to the sky. And it is so beautiful to see how they track the journey across the sky of the sun and they soak up every single ray. And it's easy to feel so joyful and excited to see all of that. But when the night comes and the day fades and the sun is dipping down in the horizon, something really truly, truly magical happens. And I didn't know about this, right? The sunflowers don't simply, you know, close or wither away. They choose not to lose their orientation. Instead, they quietly really embrace the darkness, the night, and they slowly, rather than facing the sky or withering down, they start to face each other. And here's so cool, right? They find light in one another. And this is beautiful. This is the heart of the sunflower theory. When the world feels dark, and when the obvious light is gone and not available, the sunflowers learn to share experience of the darkness by finding each other, by finding warmth and solace and guiding themselves to be well reflecting each other, right? And this is a lot of quiet wisdom, you know. And I think that for us, sometimes when the darkness comes, it is so easy to wither and to become, you know, just this downcast individual where it is so important to look around us and to find other people who may be going through the same thing. And to find people who are going to reflect on you and be there for you. And you in turn be there for them. You know, there's a commitment in relationships that we sometimes take for granted. And this is something that can help us during periods of darkness to commit to be the presence in these times where things are dark, but be presence over perfection. Sometimes we think that we have to show up for one another in this perfect way. But sometimes it's just about being there quietly and maybe just not saying a thing, not having the right words. And when your partner or your friends or your family are struggling, they don't always need a motivational speech. They need the quiet, steady presence. And, you know, I am so incredibly fortunate because in my relationship with Dan, he well, he tries to fix things for me, but he has always learned that at times all he needs to do is let me be and hold my hand and remind me that he's right there to do whatever I need, but also to just hold me when I need that. Also, I think the other piece of this is if you become the person that quietly stands and is available to somebody else, that other person becomes your rock. And it doesn't have to be a spouse, a boyfriend, girlfriend. It can be just maybe your business bestie that understands that there's some difficult times and you don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to cheer somebody on or give them the pep talk. You can just stand by their side. Now, the other thing is I want you to think of how sunflowers face the sun, but they also cast long shadows and they accept each other's flaws and past mistakes. And the same thing for us, we cannot light somebody else's life unless we really accept that we have our own shadows, our mistakes, and that we bring that into the world, into the relationships, into any place where we are there to support others. Um, I want you to think about how you sometimes may feel that you're not enough for somebody, but if you embrace your imperfections, you are enough. Give yourself some credit and remind yourself that being present is often enough. And that's sometimes the thing that someone will cherish. Now I feel like I'm all over the place with this, but I really was so inspired by this conversation and this thought of the sunflowers. And here's the thing: in the difficult times, choose the quiet rooms, find warmth in the storms, and become the light somebody else needs. Because at the end of the day, these are the things that we all need, not just the people that are in our lives, but these are the things that we also need. So don't hesitate to find another sunflower that will face you in the times of darkness and remind yourself that sometimes being in the dark is a brave move. And it's okay to either be present with another person or allow another person to be present to you. So, my friends, if your brave move today is nothing but to wait and to be okay in these times of darkness and to know that you too can find a sunflower to be your partner. I want to encourage you to do that. And if you are looking for any type of support, go visit my website, go confidently coaching. This is where all my best resources are. And you can find different ways in which I may be able to support you. But more importantly, also how you can join our community. The information is on the show notes, and it's a free community. And for me today, I am so inspired by the people that I see creating an impact in the world by just being themselves, by allowing their imperfections to be their imperfections, and most of all, continuing to move swiftly and confidently in the direction of your dreams. Until tomorrow, my friends, I'm so glad that you're here. I love you so much.