What Gwyneth Paltrow Can Teach Us About Assumptions

Why do we jump to conclusions so quickly—and what happens when we don't have the full story?

In this episode of Brave Moves, Julie DeLucca-Collins explores a viral moment involving Gwyneth Paltrow and how a quote taken out of context sparked widespread reactions online. Julie uses this example to discuss assumptions, cognitive biases, emotional intelligence, and the importance of understanding context before forming opinions.

This episode explores how our brains create stories, why snap judgments can be misleading, and how curiosity can improve relationships, communication, and personal growth.

In This Episode:

•  Why context matters 
•  How assumptions shape our thinking 
•  The psychology behind snap judgments 
•  Emotional intelligence and curiosity 
•  Why we create stories when information is missing 
•  How to pause before reacting 

Key Takeaway

Most of us don't react to reality.

👉 We react to the story we've created about reality.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Have you ever completely been wrong about someone? I know I have. And recently there was a viral clip going around TikTok featuring Gwyneth Paltro and Carson Daly. And the internet lost it, lost its collective mind. The headline people were sharing was essentially Gwyneth Paltro substitutes arugula for dairy. And people immediately started to mock her, making jokes, rolling their eyes, calling her out of touch. And something interesting happened. I watched the full clip and the story was completely different. And I want to unpack this with you, friends. So before we dive in, if you enjoy these conversations, make sure that you're subscribed, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who appreciates looking a little deeper before jumping to conclusions. Now the problem is that it wasn't the arugula. Okay. When I watched the full clip, I saw something. Gwyneth Paltro wasn't suggesting people replace milk with lettuce. She was making meatballs. And for people who can't tolerate dairy, she suggested using finely chopped arugula as part of the recipe instead of the cheese. Now, whether you agree with the recipe or not isn't the point. The point is that the internet reacted to a sound bite, not the context, and those are very different things. Our brains love shortcuts. The truth is, our brains are constantly trying to save energy, and we don't have time to analyze every piece of information deeply. So our brains will use shortcuts. Psychologists call this cognitive shortcuts hier sticks. Hieristics. We create a story. When a coworker gives us that look or is giving us grief, then again, we create a story. Maybe someone unfollows us online. The story is created in our brain. Or maybe a friend cancels plans. And most of the time we're responding not with reality when we're creating these stories, but we are responding with our interpretation of that reality. The story is usually more complicated than that. One of the things I've learned over the years is this people are rarely as simple as the stories we tell about them. Most situations have context. Most people have reasons for doing things, and most decisions have factors and things that influence the outcome that we really can't see. And while context doesn't excuse everything, it often explains more than we realize. A couple years ago, I decided that I was not going to participate in this organization as much as I had been, mainly because not necessarily that I didn't believe in the organization, but I was moving in a very different direction. And I showed up late to one of the meetings that we were having. And it's because I had a client and all these things happened. Now the woman in charge of the meeting said to me after the meeting, hey Julie, can I talk to you? Can we jump on a call after this? And immediately I went into the defensive. I thought, she doesn't know anything about me. She's going to yell at me. I'm a volunteer. I can't believe she is all again. I was spiraling and making this whole stupid story in my brain that she hated me, that she was gonna berate me for not volunteering as much, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. I jumped on a call with this woman and shortly before she got into Zoom, I thought, maybe this is not why she wants to talk to me. I cannot come in with my own story into this meeting. I need to come in with a very neutral mind so that I am open to what she has to say and I'm curious rather than just deciding that I know what this meeting is about. And guess what? She was asking to meet with me because she wanted to apologize. She wanted to apologize because she thought maybe I had interpreted something that she said incorrectly. Talk about people making up stories. Now I didn't even know what she was talking about. And this is what happens. There is such a disconnect when we allow ourselves to have a story and then we jump to conclusions and somebody else has a story. So here's the thing, my friend. Curiosity is a superpower. And one of the most powerful questions we can ask ourselves is what am I missing? What information don't I have? What is the context that I don't know? Maybe what assumption am I making? Because curiosity often is going to create understanding. And understanding creates connection. Most conflicts begin when we assume we know the whole story. And most growth begins when we admit that we don't. Now, here's your brave move for this week, my friend. The next time you find yourself judging a situation, a personal decision, pause and ask, do I have the full context? And if the answer is no, choose to be curious before being certain. Because curiosity has a way of revealing things. Assumptions never can. And my friends, the internet rewards quick reactions, but wisdom usually requires a slower response. So before you form your opinions, before you draw conclusions on anything, and you decide you know the whole story, take a closer look. Because sometimes what appears ridiculous at first glance makes perfect sense and helps you understand once you see the whole entire context. And maybe that's true for people too. And that is your brave move for today, my friend.