How to Stop Anxiety From Stealing the Present Moment

Have you ever been having a perfectly good day only to have anxiety suddenly show up and pull you into the future?

In this episode of Brave Moves, Julie DeLucca-Collins shares a personal experience with unexpected anxiety and the powerful lessons it taught her about mindfulness, happiness, and returning to the present moment.

Drawing inspiration from Emily Dickinson and the Stoic wisdom of Marcus Aurelius, Julie explores why anxiety often lives in the future, why happiness isn't something we earn, and how one simple question can help us reconnect with the life happening right now.

In This Episode

•  Why anxiety often pulls us into the future 
•  The wisdom behind "Forever is composed of nows" 
•  Marcus Aurelius's question for finding peace 
•  Why happiness is not conditional 
•  Mindfulness and present-moment awareness 
•  A simple practice for calming anxious thoughts 

Transcript

0:01

Yesterday, something unexpected happened. I was having one of those nearly perfect days. In the morning, I woke up, had a wonderful cup of coffee, and Dan and I sat outside playing a game while listening to the birds and watching the dogs played, and I had inspiration. I decided that I would go to the farmers' market because I haven't been, and it was just the perfect day. It was not hot, not a cloud in the sky. And I asked Dan if he wanted to go, and he said, "No, you go." And I was thrilled because honestly, sometimes I just need to take myself out for a date. And as I walked through the farmers' market, I was enjoying myself again, talking to the vendors and learning about the work that they do, and I was enjoying myself, feeling grateful, feeling present. And then I started to drive home. I decided to stop at the grocery store because I needed to make dog food for the dogs, and that's more of a story to come. However, as I got in my car and I started to pull out of the parking lot, I'm less than a mile away from the house. I turn right onto the main road, and it hit me out of nowhere. I felt a wave of anxiety, and my heart started racing, my thoughts started speeding up, and I felt myself as I was going to crash. And I thought, "What if I'm dying? What if I can't make it home?" And these thoughts are going through my mind, and it was doing what minds often do. It started traveling to the future, and it started just spiraling. And for a few moments, I felt something I don't often experience. I felt panic. And you know, I never really struggled with panic attacks before, but I realized that in that moment that the weight of life has been accumulating. Not in a dramatic way, not in a crisis way, just in a very human way, and I think that's something many of us can relate to. And I want you to stay till the end because I have a simple question for you. But the thing was that as I got home, I just felt so discombobulated, and I thought, "What is going on, and why am I feeling all of this?" And our minds... And the funny thing about anxiety is that it's almost never living in the present. It lives in the future. It lives in the what if. It lives in imagined conversations, imagined problems, imagined outcomes. And before we know it, we've left the moment we're living and enter the moment that hasn't even happened. Yesterday I caught myself doing exactly that. And I was worrying about things that weren't happening, thinking about responsibilities that weren't in front of me. I was trying to sol-solve the problems that didn't even exist at that moment, and it stole my attention from the beautiful day that I had been having. And I started to think as I sat home and started to process what had been happening, and here's a quote from Emily Dickinson that I was reflecting on, and she wrote, "Forever is compos- forever is composed of the nows." And I love that thought because we spend so much time of our lives preparing for tomorrow, and we forget that today is where life is actually happening. You know, we save our happiness, we postpone our peace. We tell ourselves we'll enjoy life after the next goal or after the next milestone, the next accomplishment. I see it all the time, the friends that are waiting for retirement to enjoy their life or to travel, the ones who are waiting for their kids to leave the nest so that they can reconnect with their spouse, or the ones who are thinking, "When I hit that million dollars in my business, I'm gonna enjoy life." Life doesn't happen in the future. It happens right now. And the irony is that while we're trying to create a better future, we often miss the present moment completely. So for the remainder of the day, I decided that I needed to really reclaim my day and spend it in the moment. So I sat outside, I read, I listened to music. I talked on the phone with my cousin while watching the birds and seeing the dogs play out in the yard. I looked at the plants that I had planted in my garden, and I felt that feeling of gratefulness for the little things And my day was definitely on the right track to being reclaimed. Now, the stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius asked a simple question, "Right now, at this moment, am I okay?" And yesterday, when I asked myself that question, the answer was yes. Right then, in that moment. I was safe, I was breathing, and even when I was driving home, I was safe. The sun was shining for the remainder of the afternoon. I was okay. Not next week, not next year, not after I solved everything in the world. Right then. And sometimes that's the only question we need. Because happiness is not something we earn. I think one of the biggest misconceptions we carry is that happiness is conditional, that we must earn it, achieve it, accomplish enough to deserve it. But what if happiness isn't a reward? What if it's a practice? What if being alive is enough reason to experience joy? You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to have everything figured out, my friend. You don't have to eliminate every single problem before allowing yourself to appreciate your life, because no one gets through life without challenges. No one gets through life without making mistakes, and no one is getting through life without uncertainty. That's not a flaw in the system, by the way. That's the human experience In the evening, I decided that I would finish making the dog food. Now, if you haven't heard me talk about this, I'm gonna tell you, it was the greatest thing that I've ever done. I have senior dogs, and they all have multiple health issues. So I took all of their medical records, and I popped them into ChatGPT, because I have one that's overweight and has cushions, another one that is old and has anxiety, and another one that, well, he's finicky and has no teeth. So as I popped it into ChatGPT about a couple months ago, it gave me a recipe, and it gave me a recipe that they absolutely freaking love. And all it is I take ground turkey, and I put it in the Crockpot. And as it cooks, it cooks in those juices, and it lays there for about two hours, maybe three. And then when the meat is completely cooked, I take a cup of rice, and I add that and let the rice cook right there with the turkey. And once the rice is soft enough and cooked, I then add the vegetables, green beans and carrots. As I was cooking it last night, it was almost ten o'clock at night, and my dogs were chomping at the bit. And although they'd had dinner, they were like, "Oh my God, this smells delicious. Can you feed me?" And I thought, "Why not? Let's savor this moment." So I took a little bit of the food before I put it away. And after I added some of the additives, because you do have to add some of the supplements to dog food before you serve it to them. And I put it in their bowls, and it was nice and warm and steaming. And as I laid it down for them, they were thrilled. Each of them went to their bowl as if they were starving, even though they'd eaten. And they finished that food up. As they were eating, I went and I sat on the couch, and I sat across from my mom as she was watching one of her favorite movies that she has probably watched a million times. And I noticed that in that moment, I was content, I was happy, I was grateful that I have a home that I love, a husband that takes care of us and is supportive of everything that I do, a mom that I maybe not have a perfect relationship with, but that I'm mending relationships with, that I have the opportunity to serve her, to give her love, to give her the opportunity to have years in which she is in a loving, caring home And then as I was sitting there, all of a sudden my dogs climbed onto the couch and each of them, as they finished their food, climbed onto the couch and nuzzled right into me, each of them saying, "Thank you, Mama, for the yummy food." And it was such a wonderful moment to just be in that moment and to feel the love and trust that these little animals have for me. And that moment was the moment of truth. And I thought, "Julie, this is it. This is what it's all about." And I wanna encourage you, my friend, if you're alive, if you're breathing, if you're learning, if you're trying, there's something beautiful available to you this very moment, and not because everything is perfect, not because you're here. So here's your brave move. Next time that anxiety shows up, pause and ask yourself, "Right here, right now, am I okay?" Not tomorrow, not next month, not after you've solved every single problem, but right now. Take a deep breath, look around, notice what's real, notice what's good, notice what's here, because life is happening in this moment. And my friend, the future matters, planning matters, goals matter, but don't spend so much time preparing for life that you forget to live it. Forever, it's made up of the moments just like this one and this one and that one. And so I wanna encourage you to come back to now, because now is where your life is waiting, and that is your brave move for today.