Work-Life Balance is a Myth, So What Actually Works?

"Work-life balance" might be the most overused phrase in veterinary medicine, so if balance isn't the goal, what is? In this episode, we're joined by Dr. Tate, a veterinarian and practice owner who has never fully bought into the myth, and Ron Sosa, a neuro-inclusive leadership coach who has held nearly every role in a veterinary practice. Together, they get real about what sustainable work-life integration actually looks like: delegating and letting your team grow, scheduling in intentional blocks, and building in space to decompress after emotionally heavy appointments.

We also dig into the boundaries we know we should set, but quietly break anyway. From taking back tasks instead of trusting your team to carrying the emotional weight of everyone around you, if you're a fixer, this one's for you.

Host = Brenda Tassava Medina, CVPM, CVJ, MVLCE

Panelists:

• Dr. Amy Tate, Managing Partner at Riverview Animal Clinic
• Ronald Sosa, CVPM, CCFP, PgD-CLP, Neuroinclusive Leadership Strategist

Thanks for listening!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:10

Welcome aboard. You're listening to Flight Plan Quick Consults, your go-to podcast for veterinary insights that are fast, focused, and designed to elevate your practice. I'm your host, Brenda Tasman Manina from Encore Veterinary Consulting. Whether you're between appointments or heading into a strategy session, we've got takeoff ready tips, tools, and takeaways to keep your team soaring. So buckle up as we set a course for work-life balance is a myth. So what actually works? Today's panel includes Dr. Amy Tate and Ron Sosa. Dr. Tate, tell our listeners a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

Hi. Thanks for having me. I am a um veterinarian. I am a partner in a small clinic in Birmingham, Alabama. We have six doctors. Um I am the managing partner and a mom of two teenagers um and um uh a a daughter to um mom that has some special needs at this point in life. So I'm part of that sandwich generation some of us find ourselves in. Um and I um, you know, I try to keep all those balls in the air. So that's what we're here to talk about today.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

Absolutely. Um next up is Ron Sosa. Welcome, Ron.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

Uh thanks for having me so much. It's great to be here for both of you. Uh yeah, so I'm Ron Sosa. I am um the founder of Synapt, which is um, so I'm a neuroinclusive leadership coach. I work with veterinary professionals who are ADHD, autistic, dyslexic, or any number of things under that umbrella and help them find who they are authentically so they can lead more inclusively. And so I've been in almost every role of the vet practice except for a veterinarian, from CSR to vet assistant, and still, I still play vet assistant uh twice a month to keep my toes in practice. Um, but yeah, and then I'm the executive director for the Uncharted Veterinary Conference. Um, so putting on leadership CE and conferences.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

Nice, nice. Well, welcome to our podcast. Um, I uh set this up at and I very purposely um asked the question in the form of work-life integration versus work-life balance, because I feel like work-life balance is a very overused phrase that is super unrealistic. And so I try and rephrase it to work-life integration because I really strongly believe that that's what we're striving for more than anything. And so, my first question, um, and our audience would love to hear from both of you on is what does sustainable work-life integration realistically look like in a full service veterinary practice? Let's begin with the veterinarian, uh, Dr. Tate.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

So, you know, uh, I am not a big believer in truly work-life balance. Um, I think that it is probably overused. Um, I think that work, like you said, should integrate with your life. Um, and what you, you know, work is a big part of our identity as a veterinarian is a big part of our life and it should be integrated to what we what we do for sure. Um, I have an 18-year-old and a 15-year-old, and I have been a partner in my practice since they were um babies. Um, so they've always been a part, they've always been there. Um, you know, to them it is not abnormal to be present um in the clinic um or stop and talk to a client when we're out in the community. Um, it's just part of who who I am. Um, I do think that it made me has made me a better mother because I um when I was with them when they were little and I was had a schedule that was flexible enough to go to events like I was really there, and then when I was at work, I was really at work because I was lucky enough to have um, you know, very supportive, stable care for them that enabled me to do what I do. So I think the biggest part of that is carving out space for um whatever time you have at that moment to be fully present and aware and not distracted. So, you know, you may not you may not be there every moment, but the moments that you are there to make it sustainable, you have to be fully present.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

As uh I'm just gonna tag on to that because you mentioned earlier that you're in that sandwich generation.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

And you're also a veterinary practice owner and the managing partner of a rather large practice. So, what kind of adjustments have you found that you've had to make um to actually balance things out between work and your outside duties in the past, let's say, 18 months?

SPEAKER_01 5:20

Oh, goodness. I really have had to kind of um, you know, figure out um what were really things that I needed to be doing and things that I did not need to be doing, um, because I was so busy trying to um maybe do all the things that none of them were really being done super well or super effectively, I will say. And so um kind of working to divvy up what are the weak spots in our practice, what are the spots that I really need to focus on, what are the spots that other people may be bringing strengths to the table for that I'm overlooking was really, really important. Um, I guess probably starting about a year ago to make sure that um, you know, I I didn't feel like I had to be in the practice all the time, every free waking moment. Um and building that that support so that if I was not there, I mean I have two have a great manager and a great assistant manager, but they need support too. Um, you know, and so if I wasn't there to support them, what was the infrastructure in place to allow that support to happen? Um and and it it you know takes some time. You have to kind of really hone in on what you want to do well and what you need to bring to the table and what others have strengths that complement the mission, vision of the practice, and then really let those people um blossom with the the projects and the things that they feel because you know, I think you get blinded in a you know an organization, especially an organization you've been, you know, leading um and you know working with for so long. You know, uh this has been my first and only veterinarian job. So, you know, it's really easy to kind of fall into that path of you're doing everything just fine. Um so it's always important to have people around you to be like, oh, hey, you know, we could do things differently, but you really have to listen to them. And um, but you also have to let them go and actually do the work that um they feel are their strengths. So that's been the biggest, the biggest pivot of work-life integration over the past 18, 18 months is you know, putting those people in place and really allowing them to kind of blossom where they with what they wanted to do.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Absolutely. Ron, what does uh sustainable work-life integration realistically look like to you from your perspective?

SPEAKER_02 8:20

Yeah, I think I um if you're okay with that, I'd like to twist the question a little bit. Because I think we've normalized systems in practice where the job leaks out into all aspects of our lives, right? Emotionally, cognitively, physically. So I think the real question for me is how do we design our practices so it doesn't require us to overfunction all the time, right? Because if I'm overfunctioning at work, to Dr. Tate's point earlier, I can't be present with my kids when I get home, right? It's like, how do I want to show up in practice? How do I want to show up in other parts of my life that are not included in the practice? And I think about how we have, you know, um predictability, how we can create better predictability instead of going into chaos all the time. Like there's always going to be unknown fires, but how do we create better um scheduling expectations or realistic appointment blocks that are allowed or not allowed to use? Like, what is the autonomy of the practice allowed to do or not do? Um, I think that there's a lot of permission to be to be able to be human that we have not given ourselves and our teams. Like as as cliche as it sounds, like when I come out of a Use an Age appointment, do I have the ability to relax and reset coming out of that appointment and going to the next one? Or am I just going to be behind and feel like I have to keep going just to keep up with the business, right? Am I allowed to be a human being? I think about the cognitive load that it takes to do a lot of the workflow in our practices that could be reduced for efficiency's sake. Um, so that when I get home, I'm not so cognitively overloaded and completely depleted that I can show up at my kids' soccer game and still have, you know, uh a fun time and not wanting to go home and just sleep because I'm so exhausted from just the cognitive overload. So I think that there's things like that that we can do in our practice in order to help us be more present outside of the practice.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

I love those points. It it really reminded me of when at one point in time in my career when I was a hospital administrator, um, that my family pointed out that when I came home and they'd say my name, that I I I didn't respond immediately. And it it took that conversation for me to realize that, you know, I was called upon so much while I was at work that I just shut down when I got home. And, you know, calling my name out didn't it just didn't click because I'd heard it so much throughout the course of a day. And it was a big aha moment that's in line with like what Dr. Tate talked about earlier was you know, building a really strong uh layer of of leaders around me so that it didn't all feel like it had to fall to me. So excellent.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Right. Like I mean, when I, you know, when I'm the one who's uh you know, leading wording huddle to you know locking up the building, that's a lot of to Ron's point, cognitive lift that you know you you don't have to be doing, um, but you do have to um develop the the people that can can do that, right? So you have it it takes some time um and and takes some investment. Um but you know, I can a year later I can see the the benefits that um that kind of pivot is is helping. And also Ron, um you know, talking about the cognitive, like the cognitive depletion of going in between all different kinds of rooms, we you know, I know everybody coming out of COVID did their appointment times differently. We went to um blocks of sick appointments and well appointments and euthanasia times to I I wouldn't say tame the schedule, but to try to give the the veterinarians an ease of like mentally changing leads, right? So you weren't going from a puppy to uh pancreatitis to uh you know another wellness where I I found it at that point hard to pivot my conversation. I mean, I think I was in a well appointment and I it was probably the worst well appointment ever because I was like, I I don't know what else to tell like the your animal's very healthy. And I think I just looked at the person, the person looked at me and I looked back to them and I was like in my brain, I'm like, I'm supposed to be saying something else. Um, you know, maybe about like in preventative care, insurance, you know, training, food, whatever. And I just looked at them and they looked at me and I was like, well, everything looks great. And that was an that was an aha moment where I was like, I you you know, uh we don't have to be surprised at how the day is going to go. Um, you know, we we have a little bit of agency over it, right? I mean, if you run around putting out fires all the time, eventually you know, that becomes your business model and that's all you do. Um so you know, we we I I do think that that model's helped some of our doctors continue to function to function well. I'm sure there's some you know debate about whether I we could be more efficient.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

Um but for right now, hey with real with efficiency, but that's a whole other talk. Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

I mean, right now for the topic that we're talking about, um that was one of the governances that I I put in place. And I to be honest with you, I think my two long-term associates, if I were to take it away, would be the most upset. That was, you know, they that's really something that's given them a little bit of um breathing room. You know, they kind of know what to expect a little bit in their day. If my associate has, you know, she's got two young kids. So if one of them's sick at daycare, she knows that this block of wellness time, you know, it may go a little bit faster than having a block of sick time. And she might be able to go over to daycare and check on things and get back in time for the next work block of appointments that we have, you know, for her. So it it that has been a win for the practice, but um I think, you know, cognitively it's been a win for the deep thought that's required to really be present in those appointments as you would want to be, and then still leave at the end of the day with enough mental energy to be present to go to the soccer game. Because I mean, let's face it, who wants to go watch herdball when you, you know, have jumped through 18 mental hoops and all you want to do is just sit down and you know see whatever the net next thing Netflix has is predicting that you ought to watch, right? I mean, that's the easy way to be, um, but it doesn't really recharge you.

SPEAKER_02 15:38

Yeah. Yeah, I'd say I was definitely that parent where I came home and my kids are like, Dad, how come you're always tired? And like, that's a gut punch, right? Like, I don't want my kids to just look at me as constantly tired. I want them to look at me like I do have boundaries and I do have the ability to turn work off and turn life on. And it doesn't need to be a 50-50 balance, but it needs to be 75, 25 on some days, and maybe it's 33, 66 on other days, and and so forth.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Um, the the scariest thing was that I took a trip with my daughter last year with her school, and my mother was originally going to go but got sick, so I ended up taking her seat. But the moral of the story is that it was gonna be the longest time I'd been away from the practice, out of reach um, since I had had my son, and that was 14 years ago. And I mean, I it was like I was petrified up until the point where I got like on the plane to leave, but to you know, everybody did their role. It went as smooth as it could go, and you know, the place continued to function, and it was it was fine. And that was a little bit of a of a relief that you've put these created this structure where it's gonna operate whether you're there or not.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

Well, Ron, you mentioned boundaries, so that's a great segue into my second question, which is what boundaries should owners and leaders set, but often don't.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

Yeah, I I've thought about this one as a previous practice owner. I used to joke in saying, um, you know, don't call me unless the building's on fire. And then I I realized one day, I'm like, actually, if the building is on fire, don't call me, call the fire department, right? And if I'm on vacation, I can I I can't do anything about a building being on fire. So just don't call me. And it was a joke, but it was also serious, right? Like there should be no reason for you to call me outside my working hours, even as the owner. I had now we created a mechanism where it's like if you called me twice in a row, I knew it was serious. But also, like, what do you actually need to call me for that can't be settled on Monday morning or the next business day that I'll be in? Right. Because let's face it, like when we're the business owner, we're probably there 60 plus hours a week. So there to me, there's nothing that can happen in the practice that there's not a backup plan for. And I think if um to Dr. Tate's point earlier, getting people under us and delegating the work is a huge investment in our own time because we have to make sure that we have trained them to do that kind of work. So it is not an immediate uh uh payoff like drawing blood and you get the immediate satisfaction of drawing blood. It is a little bit of a laborious of like, I've got to train you how to do this, this is how I want to see it done. Let me paint the picture of success, have you do it before it actually happens, and then you know, let go and know that when someone else does the job, even if it's not to the standard that you would do it, it's okay. Because done is better than perfect.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

So true, so true. Dr. Tate, what about you? What boundaries I mean, I should be setting, but maybe you're not.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

I I mean, I think that the the biggest boundary that um I set or I should be setting that I don't is um or that I break is you know, oh I'm it and it's my own problem is you know, oh I'm gonna just fix this one problem um uh because I can do it pretty fast, instead of being like, wait, wait, let me follow my own plan of accountability. And um to Ron's point, there's no, I mean, there's there's no burning fire that can't be that can't wait until um you know the appropriate people and the appropriate steps are taken. Um I found that I have gotten myself into more trouble being um and not trouble, maybe more discontent of stepping in and over fixing things than actually saying redirecting those people back to the my own chart of accountability that we that I have made. Um and you know, often it's because I am in kind of a uh a mental state of kind of you know mental overwork or you know, you you kind of falsely convince yourself that you're in this zone and you can, you know, you're gonna do it faster and you're gonna do it more efficiently. And um, you know, that move fast and break things kind of motto. Um it's not great for the relationships that you are trying to build and the investment in the people around you that you uh have told yourself that you have given. Um and so that that's that is my own personal um boundary that you know I often bump up against um that I have really worked over the past year to be a little bit mindful of. I'm not saying that uh it's great all the time, um because you know, we're all human and we're all learning. I have gotten better at realizing it though. Um, and I have gotten much better recently at realizing the impact that it has on people. Um and so I think the working with that intensity. Um I Debbie Hill, who I talked to one time about this very thing, you know, she had told me she goes, well, your mind's always racing and you've already fixed the problem and you're probably a mile ahead while everybody else is just catching up. And eventually they get everybody gets there. Um I might already have the end result that I think that should happen in my mind, but I either have to let them also get to that point or them tell me why we're not gonna get there instead of forcing anything upon. On anybody.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

Yeah, I like to look at it. Uh the reframe in my head is if I go ahead and do it and I break my boundary, I'm robbing my team of the opportunity to grow. And when I started to realize that, I think is when I started to let go. Right. Like I don't want to, I have to tell myself, I don't want to rob my teammate of personal growth or professional growth. And so I'm going to give this to them. And they might screw it up royally, but I know how to fix it. That's we know how to fix it in the end. It might be annoying to fix it, but I would much rather help them fix it and have them learn and grow from the experience than um than just doing it myself and plowing through. And to your point, Dr. Tate, like sometimes I hurt a lot of feelings in that in that week.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

Oh, yeah. I mean, I probably have had to go back and apologize more for um plowing forward, even though they like the product in the end, they liked the solution in the end. Um they were brave enough to tell me that you know it was that they didn't appreciate how I got to it. Um and you know, but on the flip side, I would have totally felt the same way. But, you know, like I said, you get into that mental groove of you know, solving problems, and you know, then you're those little dopamine hormones start kicking in your brain, and you get you're like, yes, you know, now we're really grooving, and then only to that it takes longer to kind of repair that trust and relationship that you've invested so heavily in. Um so that that's my boundary that you know gets as Taylor Swift says, that is my problem. I am that problem. Um I think the other boundary that um practice owners get is that they want to be um like you should never be the deciding, the person who makes all the decisions. Like you there should be uh I I feel the ability for people to make their own decisions. And you know, this should, you know, whether it's the financial health of the practice, the the marketing aspect or you know, services aspect, like there should be some flexibility in making some of those simple decisions and bringing some of the bigger decisions to the practice owner. Um, but like you should not have to be like you should not be deciding what kind of like paper towels that are brought into the practice, right? Like those are other boundaries that I and I think as practice owners, we are so wound up in wanting to make sure that it the practice is successful, that everybody everything's taken care of, and you know everybody's uh you know, everybody's living the core values of the mission and the vision, and then you know, you go in and out of exam rooms and you know you start to kind of feel like you're all things to everybody, and you really just kind of spread so thin that um you know you you have that you have that imbalance that teeter totter starts to go the wrong direction, and then it kind of sets off the the dominoes for the other issues.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Yeah. So the one last boundary I could think of is the emotional boundary, all right, of not absorbing all of your teams, all of your clients' emotions and grief and frustrations. Because it's easy to take that on when you want the best for your team. You want the best for your clients, you want the best for the patients. But if we turn into it just turns into like emotional exhaustion and then we're no good to anyone after that.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

Yeah, I think that there's um we want to be fixers, you know. I think there's a tendency for that. It's perfectionism and fixers. And when we try and fix everyone else or everyone else's problems, we get ourselves into hot water.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

Yeah. So I mean, you know, that would be I mean, you know, to kind of sit in a meeting and with someone who has a problem and you know, just sit there and let them talk and really hear it and then try to kind of turn it back around and those reflective listening activities. And then ask them kind of what would they do? You know, what do you see a fit and that they can't when I realized that they could not come up with some of their own solutions, I had fixed too, you know, you'd fix too much, really, um, because you've taken away that creative thought process. And I did have I have one other thing that I probably would add is to have a friend in the practice. Right. So like I didn't realize because I I did not have any other contemporary moms or parents my age or in my life cycle, um, how much that was needed. And I have some younger, well, I mean, uh there's moms with younger kids, but then there's another associated who joined us with boys kind of around my kids' age. And um it just the dynamic is different, right? So, you know, to be a good role model for the parents who are coming under that I I feel is one thing that hopefully we can get back to the the people who are joining the profession, right? So show them that you don't have to be this crusty old workhorse. That you can't in fact you can't in fact still be a present parent. Like, you know, it's it's a and human. You're human. And human, absolutely, absolutely. So if that's the only thing that I give back to the people who are joining me after this, um, then we've accomplished something right.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

I agree. Absolutely. Well, thank you both for your insights today. Um, and and sharing your experiences with our listeners because everyone uh really appreciates those real-world experiences. And thank you to our audience for flying with us today on Flight Plan Quick Consults. If today's insights helped you climb to new heights, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with your crew. Until next time, keep your mission clear, your team aligned, and your practice story.