The Onlyfansification of Instagram + explaining ‘you the birthday’ to white people

It’s the podcast Chanel for the podcast Van Cleef for the podcast. Hey it’s the new episode. Chatting some various TikTok microdramas & cyberbullying at large. Then I talk about the way onlyfans has changed my experience on instagram and social media writ large. Tap in. Subscribe. Clean up after yourself omg.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Uh uh uh it's uh uh uh it's a that's cool.

SPEAKER_02 0:08

Uh uh uh fucking relight. You can like or you can hate. Yeah, it's curve, fucking black, you can like or you can wait. Yeah, it's cra fucking black.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

I'm with your baby. It's your birthday for your birthday, for your birthday, then for your birthday. It's your birthday, it's me for your birthday. Peace for the birthday, she is she the birthday. Girl, welcome.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Welcome on come come on, come all, get uh get on your horse and get on down episode 267. I've already forgotten of the creme world podcast. We're coming out hot. You see that? It's not 10 o'clock on a Sunday night, it's five o'clock on a Friday. That's the energy I'm coming into this with. Oh boy, did I did I do too much off the top? Um, I'm your host, creme brulee, uh at creme brulee 2D on social medias. Uh, please, uh, whatever platform you're listening to this on, leave a like if you could be so kind. Subscribe to the show, follow the show, subscribe to my YouTube, what you know the buttons. If you have, let's let's say you're not doing anything right now, you're still deciding whether or not this is what you're really gonna listen to. While you're deciding, why not just why not just leave a like? Spotify, I think, maybe has the worst podcast uh app interface, or at least like the integration with the rest of your podcast, because you can listen to a podcast one time just to try it out on Spotify, and Spotify is like, cool, we'll tell you about this forever. And there's a couple of there's no way to like unsubscribe, so it's just un and you can't like block. I guess maybe I'll try blocking, but it's not like I don't like the shows, it's just like, hey, I listen to the Trevor Noah podcast one time because I like the guest. You can stop telling me about it. It's been three months. Um, that being said, if you're on Spotify, I'll see you for the next three months, motherfuckers. I'm gonna get you with one of these episodes. If you're not listening to this one, just know I'm gonna pop out with a title. You're gonna be like, wow, I gotta tap into this. Um, the title of this one, I'm I'm happy with this this episode, I think, is gonna be uh the only fanzification of Instagram slash uh explaining you the birthday to white people. That's where I wanna that's that's where we're gonna get to. We're gonna start. The first person, whoever invented the phrase cry me a river, they were done. They were tired of your tears, they were tired of your So what I'm thinking is now that I thought about it, because I was listening to some jazz song and they said cry me a river, and I'm like, damn, I can't believe Justin Timberlake stole this phrase from like Elephants Jailed or some shit. And I was like, no, that's just it's just like a phrase. So anyway, but the first person to say the phrase, what someone had been some weaponized white tears type bullshit. I think what I the conclusion I truly came to is based on like the pattern of human history and how we've been as a society and a people and a humanity. I feel like the f the first time Crime Mere River was said, it was probably after some misogyny. It was probably, I'm not gonna paint too vivid of a picture, but a man probably did something really uh abhorrent to a woman. It was probably like, oh, cry me a river. And then he was like, damn, that kind of slaps, and it does, and so did he, so did he, more than likely. Whew, that's how we're starting. Um recently on TikTok, I mean, this is probably like two weeks old now. I've been meaning to. There's certain topics that'll just stay on the docket. Um my notes app note that just says potential podcast topics for a while because I want to talk about them, but they're never pressing, and there's I I'm gonna just I have to I do a vid there's a video of this if you're listening to the um this is an ADHD tangent. If you're listening to this, uh please check out my YouTube because I do a video episode of all this. If you're on the YouTube, hello. Um I just so I have to see myself and thinking about it now, this would probably be a much better experience and show if I didn't have the because I have it on like selfie mode on my iPad, so the whole time I can see myself, which is nice in some ways, but as I'm doing this, I'm just like, man, I use my hands so much, and I I don't even think about myself. Not that it's good or bad, I just never think about myself as someone who's like a really demonstrative talker, but I am. That's not it. Is that interesting? Sorry, what were we talking about? Okay, so this is what's been this one's been like the first cut topic for like three weeks now, and not much has changed. Um, so it's fine. But on my TikTok algorithm, I don't know, uh four, three, four weeks ago, I got I scrolled and saw a video that said in the title just was trying food off the Facebook Marketplace, and it was on a page uh named Josiah. Josiah appears to be a southern queer presenting nigga. Um, and he was doing, as he said, trying food off the Facebook marketplace. And the more I've thought about it, I'm like, I don't think I've ever seen a better hook for a social media video than trying food off the Facebook marketplace. Because it's at least for me, it's like the two niches I really love on TikTok, which is like food, anything food related, I'm watching, and also uh just kind of I don't want to say like memes, but just kind of dumb shit, right? Like I love those are the two alleys. Like my I wish maybe, maybe I'll do maybe another episode. I'll just do a scroll through my TikTok and talk about my algorithm in more detail. But a lot of it's food and or dumb shit. And trying food off the Facebook marketplace as a hook, I'm like, wow, perfect, uh, perfect content at the intersection of my interests. The first one I saw, it was Josiah was trying a some sort of barbecue plate. He actually gave it a pretty solid review. Um, but in the comments, everyone was talking about this person called eggs by Toya. And the search bar on the little TikTok was like eggs by Toya. And I was like, What is what is that? So I click and Josiah's previous TikTok. I'm talking like the second TikTok on his page. He was reviewing food from the physics marketplace, and the the product or the merchant he was purchasing from was someone called eggs by Toya. Eggs by Toya, uh someone local to Josiah who makes Facebook Marketplace, doubled eggs, and spicy bowls. If you don't know what spicy bowls is, it's kind of I'm not in the South right now, and I don't know uh I'm not hanging out with that many. This is a crazy thing to say, but I I mean I don't hang out with that many black people that live in Seattle. Uh there's like I do comedy, and I'm happy when I see one other black comic out. Um, anyways, help me. Uh, but spicy bowls seem to be a thing that I've taken over like black southern cuisine culture in the past year or two, and they're just kind of combinations of a bunch of like pickled sausages, pickled vegetables. Uh I mean that's generally what I've that's pretty much it, I think. Uh-huh. And a bunch of seasoning, and like a uh it's in like some sort of spicy liquid. I don't know what's going on with it, but they're pretty popular right now. So Eggs by Toya was doing like a spicy bowl, like a doubled egg spicy bowl, and that's what Josiah was trying. And the review of the the bowl, I won't say it, it was scathing. It was scathing, but not in like a you know, using culinary terminology to dissect all the flaws with you know the taste and the presentation. It was just kind of like, oh my god, and then like the camera cuts, and like that's how the the review ends after like one bite. So it's pretty clear what the review is. And then so this happens. Ex by Toya gets in the comments, starts like saying very, very threatening things to Josiah. Uh Josiah gets on a couple TikToks later and is like, hey, so I'm meeting back up with ex by Toya and starts sharing screenshots, or X by Toya starts like harassing him. Like the first message was take the review down, or my son's pulling up on GDK, which I believe is a gang somewhere. So like first message was like, take the review down, or there's going to be violence. They get into a conversation, conversation, scare uh scare quotes, and Josiah's talk, like ex by Toya talks Josiah into trying more of her food, which Josiah reluctantly agrees to do. They meet up the next not they meet up the next day. Josiah meets up with Ex by Toya's baby daddy. Someone's filming from Josiah's point of view, and also the baby daddy is filming. So I've seen this particular interaction from multiple different camera angles. I think I saw them both the same day they dropped. And it's I really want y'all to go find this uh video because I've never seen like an uh a food review under duress. Like Eggspot's baby daddy is being like polite, but also not so subtly pressing the fuck out of Josiah to give it a good review, and Josiah ends up giving it a six out of ten, and the baby daddy's pretty upset. The camera person tries to de-escalate, ultimately the camera cuts cuts off before things get too spicy. Shout out the spicy bowls. Um just trying a food. If you threaten me and and you serve me and you're like, hey, I'll kill you. How about you try this plate of food? You know what I mean? Like, if someone is already at the point where they're threatening you and you eat food from them, that's crazier than just eating food from the Facebook marketplace. I haven't even really discussed, I wanted to give you the full story, but trying food off the Facebook Marketplace, I'm like, that shouldn't. I'm not a cop, but I do work in food, and from like a food safety perspective, y'all, please. I'm not worried about you doing it for real. But I just gotta say, please don't eat any food off the Facebook marketplace. People is nasty. Restaurants is nasty. As someone who's worked in restaurants my whole life, don't even eat in restaurants. You should only, as someone who knows about how like produce is handled and transported, the you should really only be growing and eating your own food. How you how you a man, how you a grown man and you eating food somebody else grew? Okay, get your hands in the dirt, nigga. Um, so I don't really do any of that. So this the story is not quite over because uh Josiah gets on a couple days later and updates us that X by Toy has been arrested and it's unclear what for. Uh, you know, all the when it happened before we got clarity on it, there was a lot of speculating. I was speculating that uh maybe X by Toy was out on parole and threatening someone online was a violation of that. Uh just updated a couple days later to say ex by Toya got caught up on like a gun chart, got like yeah. So that's just a saga I think you should tap into. I've given you a lot of the bones of it, but it is like a there's a lot of things I didn't include that make the reviews and everything about it great. Um what was I gonna say? Uh oh, I didn't even mention that. So a lot of people think the whole thing was staged, just Josiah's entire page was staged because there's kind of this odd motif going through where most of the people who self, like almost all the people who sell food on Facebook Marketplace, have like these AI generated seeming flyers, and they kind of get more and more ridiculous as they go on. Like I just watched, I wanted to see like what the latest Josiah post was, and it was another you know classic review, and the the picture he showed that like I guess they give you the platter of platter of food and they give you like a little menu slash like branding photo so you remember the place. Um, but it was just like it was called trading cakes or something, and like the ad photo of it was like a AI-generated like like gargantuan woman like eating cake, but she was like the size of like a skyscraper, and she was like within a city. I again I just think you should tap into it. Maybe it is fake. If it's fake, great job. The crazy thing is, Josiah uh put up a post celebrating 100k followers, and someone was like, mind you, this account started three weeks ago, and Josiah was like, I started posting a week ago, and that's true. This nigga, I love seeing black black people succeed, uh, regardless of whether or not the ex-bite toy controversy was staged. I love seeing black people succeed, uh, going from zero to a hundred K followers just off of Facebook food reviews and just the oddest, the oddest of TikTok beefs. That's shout out to shout out to Josiah. Um the other the other thing popped per per percolating? Per percolating, percolating on TikTok, uh in my so in my algorithm, but it's broken tane, and I know it's broken tane, because I just went and googled the lyrics of the song, and there was like a Yahoo article and like a good morning America article that were like, What does you the birthday mean? So um, if you didn't, if you want to wear the the song, the not after the theme song, so it's maybe not a great idea because like I've started sort of started I've sort of started starting the episodes by singing a song. That's a lot of S's. And um, I'm just realizing like I also have like a theme song, so having a song into me singing a song, maybe I should do an instrumental, but I do like it's my song. It's my song. Uh you guys check out my music. Uh um, but the song I started singing at the start of this episode, after the theme song, was uh You the Birthday by Hunchio. Um a song that isn't getting any so I went I went on before this like I to listen to the song. Uh I think it might be called Birthday Girl. That's it's definitely not You the Birthday, but the song said Birthday Girl by an artist called Huncho. Uh hip-hop, it's like R and B hip hop, hip-hop, like rap. What it's whatever. Uh a hip-hop artist out of Atlanta. Um I've literally never listened to dude's music before, but it's definitely a name I've heard for a while. And the funny thing is, I was saying, like, this as I just mentioned, this song, uh, the a reference from this song has made it to like Yahoo News in Good Morning America. But when I went to like listen to the song, the song isn't like getting bigger, like it is, but like normally if a song is like cute, big on TikTok, you go to the spot Spotify, and because have how Spotify ranks songs, and like yeah, using the algorithm that factors in what is the most popular song like at the moment for the artist, you usually expect to see that song near the top, even if it's not their most streamed song. But I went to Hun Show's page, and it's not even in their top ten most like popular songs on Spotify right now, presumably, which is crazy because for a certain part of TikTok, this is huge. Um so the artist Hun Show, I don't know when this song came out, but at some point like a month ago, um people like mostly black people on TikTok just started posting it, posting like the hook at the very beginning of the song, and just like making fun of it. And the lyrics of the of the hook of the song are it's your birthday, look I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna give it a little I'm not gonna sing it, but I'm gonna try and give you what it sounds like in the song.

SPEAKER_00 18:29

It's your birthday, look good on your birthday, Chanel for your birthday, McCleef for your birthday, it's your birthday, it's me for your birthday, peace on your birthday. She eats you the birthday, girl.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

Um maybe you've heard that on TikTok, maybe not. So people started making fun of that part because that song because mostly the second part of the song, um, or the second part of the hook, uh, it's your birthday, it's me for your birthday. Great. It's me, it's hey, it's me, it's me for your birthday. Uh a very I've been that nigga, I've been that nigga. And then uh peace on your the biggest part is no doubt, peace on your birthday, and then she eat, she the birthday, girl. And the way he says it is she eat, she the birthday, and then there's like a two-second pause, and he says, girl, but the part that's taken off is she eat she the birthday. People just love saying she eat she the birthday, they love saying she the birthday. Now we love saying you the birthday. I saw a post earlier today where someone had uh said, like I'm crying, you the onions, so it is now transforming uh linguistically. And white people, I'm putting this on your radar now because normally I would say you guys got like a month uh or two before this is like almost fully y'all's, but based on what I like I said, like it's already made to Good Morning America, and and it's like a month old, we might already be it might already not be ours. Uh because I've talked about this maybe before, and maybe I'll talk about it again, but the and I will talk about it again, but the way TikTok is accelerated almost like a scary pace, the AAVE to white teenagers to adult whites, like that used to be a process that sometimes took like years, right? Like a word would come out, niggas would say the word, eventually it would make it to like hip-hop or movies, eventually the hippist white teenagers would get it, and then eventually, you know, it would make it to like cool white culture, and then slowly after that it would just be regular white culture, right? That used to take years, like I said, but now with TikTok, like things go from you know, one of the most fascinating ones to me has been unk, right? Because excuse me. Not a new term at all for black people. Unk has been used. I've seen people say as far back as like the 80s and stuff. Um so I guess this one, unk in particular, wasn't that quick, but this it basically got adopted by white teenagers and then started being said by white adults like within a month of white teenagers finding out about it. Uh um. So yeah, that's why you should care, white people, because this is coming to you first of all. Uh first of all, not first of all, but eventually. Um yeah, and it's it's interesting because around the time people started making fun of this song, oh, I guess the like more of the history of A little bit of like background around like what kind of made the memes of this take off so quickly is at some point, I want to say like almost a year ago at this point, Summer Walker and Lotto put out a song. I wish I remember what it was called. Um, but that song online got dubbed Chicken Alfredo Music. And again, for my white, my white listeners, Chicken Alfredo in black culture is kind of this disc that's dish that symbolizes like like uh like the the nexus of bougie and ghetto aesthetics coming together, right? It is like Hellcat music. Y'all might not know what that means. It's Hellcat music, it's PPP loan music, it's it's just like making it successful hood nigga music, right? Um successful being in however you want to uh define success. Uh, but very Atlanta, if you know Atlanta, it's very like bougie hustler music, boo uh bougie bougie hustler food. It's very nouveau riche, uh, but for black people. Um and so this song, it's also adjacent to low exposure. Atlanta's also I don't even know how to explain the low exposure memes. Uh I I think I might I might not even try, but if you if you know the Atlanta low exposure memes, is basically the idea that like people who post photos and kind of in the similar vein as the Chicken Alfredo people, um, it's this, you know, at the nexus of uh bougie and ghetto aesthetics, uh, but it's more of a visual categorization where a lot of I don't but that's the thing is I actually don't know if like it's because people you you like use low exposure filters in Atlanta or because it's I don't know. I'm gonna get back to y'all. But the Chicken Alfredo music, low exposure, uh You the Birthday, it's all lives in the same nexus. So I think the the the Summer Walker Lotto um Chicken Alfredo song's existence and like that kind of aesthetic being like linguistically codified kind of set the stage for You the Birthday where we're like, oh, we kind of this thing is in a lineage and we kind of already have a way to talk about it. And this is a like a more memeable um because the Summer Walker and Lado song, while it did represent this thing, there wasn't like a defining you know bar of it, or like a defining, there wasn't like the hook that everyone knew that was like, yeah, this, these guys. It was just kind of like the entire vibe of the song. But with you the birthday, you got it distilled into into you, she eats, she the birthday, and now you the birthday, and um whatever it will become next, because we're already at the point where I started I decided to do this segment because I'm like, oh, some once I've been asked about something, or I'm like, oh, I don't think people are people are coming into it, it's at the point where the meme isn't fully associated with like the actual source material at this point because the meme, there's already memes off the meme. So when people go back, like, oh, you the onions, like, yeah, it's off of you the birthday, and like, okay, that makes sense, you know, like so. Once you get down the the the meme, the life cycle uh enough steps, people forget the source material. And if if I'm here to do anything, it's to codify and be an anthropologist for black memes. Uh yeah, that's that's the second thing we're talking about. I want to have a little Red Bull. Other interesting thing, oh yeah, so other interesting thing about the birthday is like around the time this started getting popular, people started making fun of it a lot because it's popular, but not for the right reasons. In theory. Um, an interview with the artist Huncho came out, and I'm actually not sure if it was an old interview or not, because it's just it just started being posted around that time, but he was claiming he quit music, and people are saying, people are thinking it's because you know his songs that he made fun of. But again, I don't know if it's it's not clear to me that that it was a new interview and that's what he was responding to. Um but this is it is cyberbullying guys. We have to talk about cyberbullying. No, cyberbullying is so there's this artist, Yeet. Yeet, okay? Yeet, that's his name. Um, if you don't know Yeet, actually an artist from I think Lake Oswego, Oregon, like Portland area. Uh, I don't know where he'd be now, but Yeet rapper blew up 2020. Uh like definitely the I don't know. It's hard to describe how big Yeet is because I think you know who Yeet is, but I don't think you listen to Yeet, if I had to guess. Um I think you've heard of Yeet, but you probably couldn't pick him out, right? Um, so Yeet's a he got super popular uh amongst like online rap and just like young, you know, generally white rap fans who are already into Playboy Cardi, Travis got little Uzi's of the world. He kind of fits into that milieu, at least in terms of his audience. And like I said, you blew up around 2020. He had I don't remember how many projects at that I don't he's put out uh before the most recent album, A Dangerous Life, which is what we're gonna talk about. He's put out like at least four or five projects, all in various levels of solid. I started listening to Yeet in probably 2021 on his second project out mixtape, whatever. He had some he had a song with Young Thug and a song with Gunna. I was gonna check those out. I like those songs, so I was like, cool, I like these songs. The there wasn't too many solo songs I really rocked with. Like, I overall think he's good. I think if you listen to me talk uh in my end of the year music episode last year, I don't know if I mentioned the Yeet Project, but the Yeet Project from last year, A Dangerous Summer, had been my favorite Yeet project, or still probably my favorite Yeet project of the all of them he's put out. Um maybe like seven tracks and just really cool. And it seems like because Yeet's style is very post-playboycardi. Uh trying to decide who even compare it to. Post Playboycardi, maybe Uzi, those guys. Uh, he's definitely like super inspired by those influenced by those guys, and I assume inspired by those guys. And it's it's rage, it's funny noises, it's a lot of like you know what people will talk about mumbo rap. Yeet. I think a yeet is a mumbo rapper. Um but yeah, a lot of really interesting. I think the best way to describe Yeet is once I heard listening to a music podcast, they were talking about I think maybe they had interviewed Yeet, and they were talking about how for his songs, when he writes his songs, he'll do the ad-lib track before he writes the actual lyrics, which I don't think is like a like do your art how you want to do your art, but I think it gives you an idea of what his approach to music is like as it's a lot more about the energy and like the the big moments and the things like that, the ad lib of it all, than like the actual bars, which great. Um ye uh I don't know at what point he announced he was gonna drop this most recent album, but it's like you know, he's grinded the quote unquote underground mixtape circuit for a while, kind of became the probably the biggest quote unquote underground artist. It's debatable at what point he broke through that mold, you know. Once you get on uh a couple songs with Drake, it's hard to still call yourself Underground, as Yeet has. Um, but also what does Underground mean? Anyways, the most recent album, uh A Dangerous Life, which came out three or four weeks, maybe three weeks, three weeks ago at this point, um, was set to be his first studio album official release. Uh, if you follow hip hop, you know how that is, where it's like, yeah, this is like the fourth project I've seen you push out and like have a rollout for. But if this is the first album, whatever. Um, but it definitely was giving like oh, he's going to he's going for having like a number one album with big, I don't know how huge he thought the hits were gonna be, but there was a lot of money clearly put into this album from like the uh list of features that is like you know, Elton John, uh what's that name, girl's name? Grimes, Julia Fox, Kylie Jenner for some reason, uh, Don Tolliver, and maybe oh, NBA Youngboy. So some interesting list of features, and there were definitely a couple more I missed, but that's just to give you an idea of like he was going big. Like, you don't get Grimes or Elton John for a song as a rapper unless you're trying to like do something. Um, so there was a lot of money put into this. There's you know, there's like visuals that came out, like you can tell when a record label is trying really hard to push a thing. And this album came out, y'all, and before I I really wish I'd given been able to give it a full listen before I saw the online discourse, but I I never usually I can like wait for an album to come out and just like go online without having like my perception of the album soiled by people talking about it one way or the other. Because, you know, at this point, music is music is so all of art and media is so segmented that like I don't know, you can easily avoid any one specific thing you want to avoid uh if your algorithm is just funneling you into somewhere else. So I didn't worry about that. But when I saw when I got on social media, you know, I get on the various hip-hop reddits and things of that nature, and you know, hip-hop pages on Instagram, blah blah blah, um, and just like general TikTokery. I'm all I'm on the general TikTokery, but based on all of that, it was like uh yeah, I I had never seen a fan base react as negatively to a new album from like their favorite artist as Ye fans have reacted to this most recent album he's put out. Like uh to give you off top the most uh disgusting uh, but I think like uh this will show you what I mean. On his subreddit, like I have seen, and I'm 30 years old, I shouldn't be on the Eat subreddit. I know that this is my fault, but but on his subreddit, there have been like multiple top posts of the day over the past since the album's come out that were people literally pissing and shitting on the album in his subreddit, and they were like highly upvote, like positively ranked. Like I think so. What happened from my perspective is in addition to doing to putting out this album that his core fans felt was such a departure from uh what they came to enjoy him for. He essentially described all of his previous music as slop. That was the specific word he used, and just said some other things that were like weirdly derogatory of like his previous work and whatnot. And from what I've seen, that really made his that really pissed his fans off because I mean I've never really seen an artist do that at all, but they felt like, and it's a much younger fan base, uh, so you know, more emotionally volatile for sure. But they felt like, you know, hey, we like those songs and you calling them slop. Like this was my favorite song, and you called it slop, or like we like all these albums, and you not only degraded them, not only degraded your work, but degraded our experience of enjoying them. Um, so doing that mixed with putting out an album where you're not doing the things that we have come to like support you for, plus you've replaced like your you've replaced having like it's not like Yeat was ever like a huge features artist, but the features he did have fit into like the aesthetic and the world, and more like you know, Young Thug and Gun. Like I said, OG, if you're in that space where like your influences are already Uzi and Cardi, Young Thug is their OG. So it's like it's in It's All Within the Milieu. He had a bunch of songs with Uzi. Um and you've replaced that with like Grimes and Elton John and Kylie Jenner and the other stuff was slop. Um so yeah, I I've I listened to the album. I didn't think it was very good. If I didn't see that level of reaction to it, I probably would have just been like, that wasn't very good and never thought about it again. Um, but no, I just I don't have like a I don't have really a take on it. I just find it fascinating um that like most of the posts every day and I've you know kept checking in are like there was at one point where all the top posts are people like like the fans being like celebrating as it was falling down the charts and just things of that nature, and it's weird. I don't know if it's fully toxic. Uh a lot of people in other subreddits be like, man, the yeats yeah, I'm on yeah, I also go to the Playboy Cardi Sub Reddit, and in that one, they're like, Yeah, these Yeet fans are toxic. And it's like, I don't know, it's definitely I don't know. It feels it feels like community building in a really depraved way. Like, I don't know where Yeet goes from here. Um, because like I also went on like the on his Instagram, on his Instagram he put out a song with ice spice that was really that that again that was slop. Uh I Ice Spice in the Big 26 as like, hey guys, like people haven't respectfully, people haven't cared about Ice Spice in like 16 months at this point. But even all the comments on that were like generally negative. And if you're like a famous person and you post anything on Instagram, your comments are usually just pop like no matter what, your comments are usually just positive because most people who are your fans enough to like comment, you know, most people are sick of fans who follow you and they're just gonna be like, hey, hope you notice me. I'm saying I love you, I love this, yada yada. And it was not a lot of that. Um so uh shout out to Yeet, I guess. I don't know, I don't know where that uh yeah, I don't have a conclusion. Is check that out too all right. We've come to the main event. Oh man, I wanted to read you guys the full joke. Maybe I'll read you guys the full joke. What this is gonna be a pause. Alright, this is gonna be a um Crum World Podcast first. So I've been thinking a lot about, as I kind of hinted at the beginning of this podcast, what I'm a topic I'm gonna call the only fanzification of Instagram. And I wrote a joke about this, and I have I performed like a couple beats of this, like there's two or three phrases in particular that I've got I've been working on a version of this joke for like a year, and it's nowhere near done. This is the most updated draft I wrote last night, so because I just I'm I'm I don't wanna uh worry about just quoting the joke throughout the this next whatever amount of minutes, but so I'm just gonna I'm I'm this is vulnerable. I'm reading you an untested joke. Okay, whatever, we're here, ready? Okay. At some point in the past couple of years, Instagram figured out that I enjoy looking at titties. That little piece of information has ruined my experience of both Instagram and titties. Because I don't want to look at titties all day. Okay, in a perfect world it would be like half the day. But that's not where I'm at right now. So much of so much of what I get served on my algorithm is thinly veiled attempts to lure me to to lure me to lure me to I don't know. Luring me to I'm this is yeah, this is my handwriting. Okay, I'm gonna re-restart this in. So much of what I get served on my algorithm is thinly veiled attempts to lure me to the proverbial link in bio. And that's framed and that's trained me to automatically check the Instagram bio of any attractive woman, and I want to be able to enjoy a video of a woman crocheting without wondering if I could pay to see her butthole. Won't anyone think of me? And that's the and that's the thing. Often it's truly just a woman with some cleavage knitting a hat, and it's so fucked up because now I gotta masturbate to that. I'm not trying to come on yarn. I guess it's only fans' fault. OnlyFans is this website, I imagine, was created by an incredibly ambitious and intelligent 12-year-old. OnlyFans is basically a marketplace for amateur porn distribution because of what OnlyFans has done. It's made it incredibly accessible to be a porn star. All it takes is a phone, connect it to the internet, and maybe it should take more. Like maybe go to a seminar or take an online course before you start posting whole for strangers. Um, maybe I'm just a Republican. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the website. I enjoy it so much that it is reflected on my credit score. I like that on OnlyFans you get to figure out how many dollars horny you are, because everyone is priced differently, because no one thinks they're gonna Because everyone's priced differently, because no one thinks they're gonna pay $20 for a few JPEGs of coochie until they do. And because everyone is that's not super clear. Um and alas, I was $20 horny. And let me just say, if you're gonna dip your toes in the OnlyFans water into your card information before you start browsing, because there are a few experiences less degrading than running around your room looking for your credit card with an erection, you are never more vulnerable. I've dated a few women who've done OnlyFans, uh, and the modern psyche is not equipped to deal with the feeling of paying to see paying eight dollars to see your ex get better dick than you could ever give her on your best day. You are never more vulnerable. So that's that's where it's at now, okay? Um you guys know what Instagram is. I think you know what OnlyFans is. Um, yeah, like I said in the joke, it's a marketplace for online amateur porn. At some point, I think it got popular around 2020. Everything got popular in 2020, it got popular around 2020. And what really like set it off is so like Instagram's obviously existed for hella years at this point, at le maybe close to 20. And I would never say it felt as I mean it definitely never was as flooded with uh not fully sexual content, but content that is an advertisement for porn. Um and not in a very subtle way, oftentimes. And this really became a problem when Instagram decided that they want to be TikTok and introduced reels and introduced their new algorithm that is based on, like, you know, because the Instagram algorithm, I don't know how the here's my difference, here's what I see as the difference is between the TikTok and the Instagram algorithm, right? The TikTok out both of the algorithms what makes them so like powerful is it's not just what you like and share and stuff, like those are definitely factored in, but they know what videos you're just looking at for a while. Even if you don't like them, even if you don't ever comment or tell anyone that you watched it, it knows that you watched the entire duration of a video. And what whereas TikTok, I think TikTok wants what's best for you. I think maybe uh that is too generous of an outlook, but I see when I go on TikTok, I know I feel it's not like trying to serve me like purely, you know, educational, you know, morally pure content, but I do feel like it's trying to show me things that are interesting to the part of my brain that like to like my higher self, right? It shows me things like think pieces about stuff, interesting people telling like you know, a diverse group of people telling interesting stories about their life, social commentary, like cool cooking stuff, like things that are aligned with the arts and general ideas in life that I like to associate with. That's what it figures out you like, and that's what it tries to serve you. Instagram knows what makes you horny or mad, it figures that out, and I think it tries to serve that to you. And you know, this is probably a completely illegible episode for half the audience, and half the audience is like finally someone's talking about how much titties there are on Instagram, and a lot of and you know, the generally women, straight women side of y'all, you're probably like, I'm I'm just seeing like cute videos of cats and like fruit love island, and I have I've never seen any of that stuff on Instagram. Instagram is like, you're gonna look at these titties, you're gonna look at stuff we know is gonna make you mad. And you know, uh, I think maybe that wasn't the best choice, but that's when when that happened, when TikTok or OnlyFans Instagram decided to make the switch to be more like TikTok in that reels are pushed, and now even to the point where as soon as you open the app, it'll try to show you reels. That's when, and to their work, and to their credit, sex workers, you y'all have done it, y'all have conquered the app. Like, no shade. This is none of this. I hope this is clear. Um, the only fanzification of Instagram. There is nothing negative I'm gonna say about sex work or OnlyFans people or like that, the existence of that stuff. This is none of this, I hope, is gonna sound like a purity, like we gotta clean, no one should be looking at you. I'm looking at the titties and I'm not feeling bad about it. But I'm wondering if we'll get to downstream. I think there are potential potential victims we'll talk about. Um, so uh yeah, like I was saying, I don't have I have a very positive association. And I guess this section will just be me talking about why maybe it's not great for me. This has become a lot of my Instagram experience. Um, and like and to just like describe it more vividly. It's like, hmm, okay, I'm gonna open up my Instagram murals for you, right? Let's do it. Let's open up my Instagram reels right now and see what 10 scrolls are. So we got one scroll, okay. It's a Jacob Alordi look-alike contest. Can you see that? No, it's too much light. Two scrolls, okay. We have a woman who is talking to the camera, but she has huge breasts. Um, and okay, I don't think this is I don't think this is a sex worker. Um, I think this is just uh a woman with huge breasts who it is showing me um because it knows that I will watch it. Okay. Third one, uh, local music show. Fourth one, uh let's see. Fourth one is fourth one is a sex worker. There we go. Fourth one is a sex worker doing, I don't know what she's doing. She's it's just a video where she's showing off her body. Fifth one, yeah, man. Okay. Fifth one was a woman cooking and she had huge titties. Sixth one, uh, the caption is literally checked the link in my bio. Seventh one, uh, it's an ad. Eighth one, this is a sex worker I recognize instantly. Don't ask me why. Okay, so I just got to ten. Half of them were that's just giving you a hint, a heads up of what it is like. Um it's a lot of that for me. And I watch other stuff. I watch I watch a lot of stand up comedy, I watch a lot of uh uh uh what stand-up I said NBA content. I think my what makes me not feel like I'm doing anything too crazy is this is not even I know the sex workers are also doing their thing on TikTok. I've seen them from time to time. I don't get any of it on TikTok, and I'm the same nigga with the same eyes. So something about the Instagram algorithm, at least for me in particular, I just showed you kind of talk you through 10 Instagram reels, half of them roughly. I was able to let navigate to a link in a proverbial bio. Okay, that's I feel a little heavy-handed. Uh no joke there. Um why I feel it's dangerous to me. So, like I grew up super okay. This this part I'm gonna talk about uh porn and my level of consumption throughout my life. So content, let's just let's just hop into it, man. I definitely grew up very um Christian and very uh repressed sexually, I guess I would say. Not to a degree that was like um debilitating or like I have any sort of trauma from it necessarily. Like I by the time I was in college, I was, you know, doing all the doing all that stuff. But for the first 18 years, it was pretty, I went to a pretty uh what's the thing? Uh where you're it's not guarded, but it's like uh sheltered. It was like a sheltered community type of shit. I was pretty sheltered as a kid, um, which pros and cons. Con was when there's there's like sexual oppression going on, you know. I as soon as they gave me a phone with the internet on it, it was what y'all know, and before there was even a phone, what y'all know about uh Comcast on Demand, uh HBO Real Sex, whatever else they had on there, I think the green all right, I'm not gonna go too crazy. Uh yeah, so there was just a lot of options. Um, and so I feel like I went from like, you know, the South, I went to a Christian college at one point. I've talked about that. There was a lot of that hanging out in my life. So once I moved out to Portland, and Portland's a very sexually liberated place, and you know, I became uh an artist and a very sexually liberated place. And just like, I don't know, just to to keep it a buck, I've dated or been with uh quite a few an amount of sex workers in my life and an array of different sex working arenas in a way of different sex factories. I always I not I always I I think just the term sex worker is funny to me because it connotes the image of some sort of sex factory, um, and like a sex water cooler, anyway. Uh um, so like uh that experience and you know just becoming more sexually liberated, that made it so like there was a point in my life where I was like super like, oh, there was like a lot of shame around porn and sexuality in general, and then boom, I'm in like a lot of you know, politically radical and uh polyamorous and all these other I'm in Portland in my 20s doing a lot of drugs, you know what I mean? So a lot of different experiences, a lot of it's a very different experience, and that pushed me more towards being like, yeah, everything under the sun sexually is cool, and it is. Um, but I think I went too far the other way, um, in terms of like, you know, during the pandemic, God bless, God bless getting pandemic unemployment. There will never be a better time in society than when I was getting pandemic unemployment. Um, but at one point during pandemic unemployment, because of like my proximity to a lot of like the sex working community uh and my amount of liquid cash thanks to the government. I was spending there was one month I did a tally like on a previous podcast of mine where it was like 240 was like my monthly OnlyFans bill. So and it's like I wasn't even I'll just let you I wasn't doing $240 a month worth of you know doing the thing, uh um masturbating. We can be adults here. I wasn't doing $200 a month worth of masturbating, and welcome to the creme world podcast after dark. Um, but why did I say this? Uh yeah, I think yeah, that's just oh, and so now I've had to, I think I got too not too comfortable in the sense of like uh yeah, I think everything should have balance. I don't think you should be me personally, I don't think I should be spending that much money on anything that is non-essential, uh, let alone porn. Um and so while I I had to overcorrect or not, I overcorrected the other way, and now in the past couple years, I'm like, all right, what is what is the comfortable way to feel about porn, right? Like, at least like my relationship to it as a viewer. Um, because I think, you know, and it pisses me off when people are like, you pay for porn, pay for porn, porn's free.

SPEAKER_01 57:04

It's like you could eat from you could go to a food bank, you could uh a lot of things are free. It's just nice to pay for things that people make, right?

SPEAKER_02 57:14

Like if we all just stole everything, nothing would exist. There's a better way to say this, and I thought of a way for the joke, but I forgot it. But it just the idea of like, yeah, man, just I don't know. You we support so many other types of people in this country, or we reward so many other types of like entertainment and we give status to so many other people and jobs in particular that aren't nearly as influential or impactful or simply as consumed as porn. So just the idea that people are like, why would you pay for it? It's free, is because of like someone you you realize, someone at some point has to pay for it, right? Or else none of it exists. And there's there's certainly dudes that are doing a lion's share. Me, 2021, I was carrying the load for several of y'all, but now I'm not. Um I don't think I'm subscribed to any right now, which is too I mean, I have a kid now. It's not that I haven't since I've had a kid, but it just it does get harder to justify. Um, but as someone who consumes it, it's still I feel, especially knowing people that have been in it, it's like yeah. I just I remember in the I read the joke, so you heard the part where I said the human psyche isn't built to see your ex um have sex with someone else for money, or at least you pay money to see it. And that part's real. I've just letting y'all know I'm not doing that today, 2026. We're moving different, but have I? Yes, okay. Lost the thread a little bit here. Um, uh yeah, I think just in summary, it's I'm trying to work on my relationship um to it and finding a healthy balance. And me personally, I find it hard to do that, and also just like support sex workers, some of whom are like earnestly my friends, while not getting because it's like you see enough titties in a day, and you as you can't you can't beat them all. Ayo. But you know, I would like it's like I would like less, I would like to be sexually aroused on the train less, right? Like I wanna I don't know how to phrase it right. I do think, right, there are victims, potential victims of this. Um, you know, I'm not here, I'm not here to hand wave, is it what it's called, hand wave, um, about why sex working is like there's victims, blah blah blah, like for sure. And there's nuance to everything. And, you know, I think in the Magic City episode, I got my Magic City hoodie by the way. Ah, I'm not gonna put it on, but in the Magic City episode, I did maybe touched on the quote-unquote dangers and you know, pro-kludging people do around strippers and or sex workers and the quote unquote safety and how that's often used as just like a right-wing way to say like it shouldn't exist, wherein despite the fact that there are people, women in particular, who do find this to be a liberating experience and is the way they're able to um elevate themselves in terms of money, class, whatever, whatever, whatever. The the the the unintended victims are this, I feel. Um, so I'm just gonna touch on this briefly. Teens, right? Because it's like I am 30 and I at least have the awareness to be like, yo, let me try and manage how much titties I'm looking at in a day, because I understand psychologically there's some kind of that can't be what I'm here to do. Again, I would love if it was. But especially uh of the uh portrait mode, pixelated variety, I don't think that's um that's the move. But I don't think a lot of kids have that level of discernment or have that level of understanding about the need to like live somewhat of a balanced life that isn't so you know, I'm thinking in particular, I don't know how many of y'all read about or heard about the article and Harper's Bazaar, I think that came out last year about uh the gooning culture and the way that's affecting young men, just to keep it extremely brief. Basically, there's like a new online cult of you know, significant, like a very like a large number. I can't remember the exact number, but it's like a significant amount of teens and young men who are in this kind of online cult where the bases surround membership and like their beliefs is whatever. It's it's about masturbating for hours at a time, and that's just what they do, and they'll spend whole evenings doing this, and they'll be in chats together doing this, and there's whole you know, you should go read the article in Harper's Bizarre about it. It's definitely I wouldn't say disturbing, it's different. And, you know, if you don't want to read about masturbating, I get it. But you know, that's what I was gonna say is like part of the reason I find myself susceptible to like just looking at porn is because I am I am at like the intersection of like sexually liberated and just like curious about what people are into, or like sometimes I'll just go on and be like, what is what is that? People are into that. Let me see. I heard about this thing. What is that like? You know what I mean? So there's some uh I don't even know what I'm trying the point I'm trying to land is. So I worry about uh people who are young and are socially isolated and spend too much time on screens and the effect that the deluge of you know pornography, they're kind of being always pushed. Um again, I don't know if I'd think I'm not I know I don't think there's anything morally wrong with porn or watching porn. You I think there's with the gooning thing, the whole gooning of it all, there's clearly something that needs to be addressed. Um, so that's one of the intended unintended victims. The other is uh I don't know if y'all remember when I was scrolling a couple minutes ago, and I said, Oh no, this isn't porn, this is just a woman with big boobs just talking about something. The algorithm is so crazy, because here's the thing like I know because Instagram actually lets you tweak it its algorithm and like what it shows you, and like I've gone on to it, and it's like the thing that I said it says it, it says it knows I like like basketball and hip hop, and there's nothing about it that's like girl women dancing scantily clad. That's not in the algorithm if you looks, but somehow I get it a lot, and part of me is like part of me knows to me. I can tell that Instagram, like part of their algorithm just knows it's not like a thing, it it's like a subtle, like uh unspoken uh algorithmic category where it's like we our AI has figured out a way to detect when a woman has a certain size of breasts, and we're just gonna send you that for anything. Like I said, there was a cooking video, a woman had big titties, uh, there was one that was all the ones I had seen a couple minutes ago, they all had some other valence where it's like that's what they were marketed as, or like that's what the video was portending to be. I don't know if that was the right uh word, pretending to be, but you know, the yiddies was out. However, in this one video I saw that I mentioned, it was Just a girl, like I said, with large boobs, but she was fully in a dress and she was just talking. And I I I get a lot of those, and sometimes it's whatever, but then sometimes because you can tell it's being served in this algorithm, these videos of just regular everyday women who just happen to have large breasts doing whatever. Um because these videos get served within sequence with other videos that are like clearly bisex workers. Um, you know, like I said, some even the caption is link in bio. That was like one or two scrolls away. I think the people who end up on those videos are trained to just like this is porn. So when they see a video that isn't, but they don't really know that because all they're responding to is titties, then they go into the comment section with, you know, let me see them titties energy. And basically, there was a video I saw yesterday where uh like a woman was just playing the guitar. He was actually playing a cover by Japanese of Japanese denim by Daniel Caesar, great song, and she just happened to be like in a sports bra and had like some midriff out, and she had notable, notably sized breasts, but it it very earnestly seemed like she was just trying to post a video of herself playing the guitar, and she was just fighting for her life in the comments, uh, where people were just like either being way too horny or just being like, you shouldn't have to do this to get views. And that when I say the unintended victim, like this is these type of women are the unintended victims, and no one will speak for them, so I will. Uh women who just naturally, this is the most insane segment I've ever done. This is deeply vulnerable. I don't want to put this out. Because I've just said titties so many times, and no one you guys don't want to hear me talk about master. I mean, y'all are sexually liberated too, hooray, right? Like we're all cool. This is a safe space for me, huh? Uh, super vulnerability hangover. I don't I is conclusions. I don't really have I'm gonna start following less sex work. I just want Instagram. Just because I will look at titties, doesn't mean that's all you have to show me. Um I don't I wish I had a better bow, but right now I'm just horrified thinking of the past 20 minutes of talking or so. We're gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna do one more uh topic, then we'll get out of here. So I just want to quickly spin the block on the Jack Harlow situation, making this the third episode we'll have discussed the Jack Harlow, uh Monica, uh Neo Soul Harlow uh situation. This is just this is this will be my uh epilogue on it. I am so proud of black people for how we've packed up Jack Harlow. I just got on um my on my TikTok before this, they were making fun of that on SNL. Michael Shea was whoever did the Jack Harlow impression on SNL, by the way. 10 out of 10 job. But it's made it to like mainstream white if Saturday Night Live, I I like the show, but that is main as mainstream white America as you can make it. And that also means like the jokes about Jack Harlow have escaped contain of just black people doing them to now white people. You know how like white people are making fun of him for saying he got black right now. You know how crazy that is like he may have lost white people too, which is hell hell yeah, man. Um, but no, like I said when I did the initial reaction to the album, I was like, I don't mind the album. Tell you what, I haven't touched it uh in three weeks. Uh, not to say I was fully not to say I'm embarrassed to listen to it, but I just I I can't I don't know. Maybe I was bullied out of listening to it in a sense. I did think it sounded uh solid. Um, I just can't in good conscious after all the jokes and after there was well, there was a video I didn't seen the video of when he went to like uh hot 97, I think, and they were just playing him classic Neo Soul songs, and he like didn't know Maze and Frankie Beverly, and I'm sure a lot of you white people don't either, but you're not trying to make Neo Soul, you know what I mean? Um, he didn't know Maxwell, it was it's pretty embarrassing. Um, so yeah, I haven't listened to it. Uh uh the first song on it's still one of my like top annotation songs on Spotify. And every day I open that little playlist, and I'm like, please get it off of here. I can't, I can't let anybody know I was ever enjoying this. And maybe that makes me uh weak willed or whatever, but sometimes you're just like, nah, if I'll just I'll just go with the flow. I'll just rock with what everyone else is saying. Like, I never thought it was that crazy of a quote, but I also never thought like I got what he was saying with the quote, but I never wanted to stand in front of anyone making jokes about it. The jokes have never not been funny, and I just want to say we've done such a good job of gatekeeping our culture in this one instance, and you know, sometimes we don't the uh at the general existence of K-pop, but in this one instance, black people across the world locked arms and said, Nah, when like a white person tried to be like, Yeah, I'm taking some, I'm gonna take some, like I he tried to colonize the sound a little bit, and as like we all got together and marched across the bridge uh at Selma to push Jack Harlow into the water. And I just think that's like just as a black person, just to see that type of unity and to see us like successfully make fun of like he hasn't like unreleased the album or anything, but it's like no one's heard from that nigga for sure. He's gonna have to wrap his ass off after this. Whatever he does after this is actually now gonna be it was make or break before not make or break, it's just I can't wait. I he has to do such a good job of whatever it is, or else he is going to get packed up. Like he can't even at this point, he can't even do the I'm going to country or whatever route. Like he's he's conscripted to keep trying to pretend to be black forever, and we're not gonna let him. Um yeah, I yeah, all that got me thinking. Last idea. I think black people, I think I think as a race, as a culture, we should come up with a new something new, a new cultural, a new style of music, a new dance. We need a new black thing that is corny and bad and like uh like corny and bad and like illegible and embarrassing, like on purpose, right? Unicycle. I I don't know how unicycle would be a music, but like uh accordion, accordion, techno. That's it, accordion, techno. Black people, we gotta just pretend we're all into accordion techno music for like one summer, and then we can get all the white people to get getting into it, and then we'll just completely abandon it and you know keep doing our that's what I think we need to do. Every couple of years, black people we put out before before we drop some heat, like before the next Hindu crit album drops, let's put out the accordion techno album and pretend we all love it for a summer. So they're off our shit, they're off the block for a little while trying to figure out how to play the accordion and tie a do-rag while we're enjoying whatever you know the next thing of the cookout is. It's your birthday. Um real man, real episode this was. I I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't want anyone to listen to this. At least not the last. I don't know. You should you guys should try talking about your relationship with porn to strangers online. It's not cool, it's not fun. I know it's again not like we have a crazy amount of listeners, but people will listen to this. So I gotta live with that. Thank you for listening. I'm your host, Krim Broulet, at Krim Bullet 2D on all platforms. Uh fucking I I didn't listen to Bully. I still haven't listened to Bully. So if you know you know. Peace out. Still my life. She give me brain, that's my great. I don't do brakes, I don't do gaps, I don't do change, but you fake. I fucking dance, I don't pick. And I just think I'm making red. I want to do I want to face She won't believe, I want to cut, I don't pick, I want to pick, I'm the bitch, I lick I switch, look at the wrist, tryna have kids, tryna eat griss. She wanna pick, I'm with your batch, she wanna kiss and I'm gonna lie. Yeah, it's crack and fuckin' block, I can like you. Yeah, it's crawn, fuckin' below, I can like you. Yeah, it's crack and fuckin' block, I'm with your pick, I'm gonna cry. Yeah, it's crack and fuckin' block, I'm with your pack, I wish you white, I climbing on the highway, broches on the driveway, ballin' like the bronze. You like this Kyrie, white bitches like Miley, like me cousin wifey, white chat on a glass track, black and silver spiky, whiskey in my chai tea, step to ring on her knees. As soon as she tied me, I buy her some her meat, baby. It's your birthday. Won't you have some broad light? Come inside on my face, even if it's time. I want your bag, I should look great. Yes, cram for lack, and watch your bags, and watch your white. Yes, cram, for lack. You can like or you can hear. Yes, cram for lack. Yay can like or you can wait. Yes, cram for that.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:36

I want your bag, I should look great, yes, cramp for light, and watch your bags, and my shit wake.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:41

We have cram rolling cover cram rolling.