The summer I got paid to be Spiderman, and everything else I've ever done for money

You read that right, I'm verbally explaining my resume. Imagine you are the interviewer and I the interviewee. Will you hire me? How long did I work as a professional birthday party spiderman? You gotta listen baybeeeeee. Subscribe to the show and venmo me some cash so I can include podcasting. 

Transcript

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Hey It's me. It's some me. That's cool.

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I spit it with you. Should never let you hit it. I did it with you. I get it. You got the fetish. Welcome to the Crim World Podcast, Episode 42. This is your host, Krim Brulet, the one, the only, the lonely. Coming to you live from my house. Please record not record. I am recording. Please like, share, uh, leave a rating, tell your friends. Do one thing this week. If you enjoy this episode, before you even listen to this episode, do me a solid, hit one of the buttons, share it. Yada yada. Thank you. Uh I appreciate you being here. I I I address the video. At this point, it's it's a it's a mostly the the audience is mostly audio by far, and I'm working on video uh to promote it and also like just to build it. You don't care. But I do for the minuscule amount of you who will be watching the video, uh, you do know I'm in a different location for the first time on my couch. Uh other thing for the video people, just a real quick aside, uh in this this early aside, is uh we're on mustache watch. We're still on mustache watch. It's week three. Week three or four. Hmm. I'm time is a flat circle, but this mustache, you'll be able to see in the video. This is this is the whole thing. Maybe this is how I'm gonna get you to watch the video. If you really want to be tapped into mustache watch, you can't really be a fan of the Crim World Podcast. You're not tapped into mustache wash. That's what wash, watch. That's what they're talking about on the Discord, that's what they're talking about on my on the subreddit. Everyone, every week, is you should see the type of content. Um, but no, it is I'm I I'm not confident enough to come out and say that it's you know there. Like I I wouldn't tell someone I have a mustache still, but we are on watch. It's it's it's definitely not nothing. I don't I don't think we're at fully something yet, but it's not nothing. Reminder for those who don't know, I'm 30 years old. This is my first attempt at really establishing facial hair. Um, and it's it's all it's almost something. I'll be I'll be super vulnerable. I looked into I I was like, man, you know, it's 2010, they got you know pills that'll help you lose weight real fast. Surely they've made advances in the the facial hair cream game uh that could really get me popping. And I looked at it, uh, I did some research. There's there's something in my cart. I've made a couple purchases with it just sitting in my cart. I'm not ready to fire yet. The the advice I I read uh told me I should just let it because I've never really let it do its thing for like months at a time, because there comes a stage where it like look, I mean it's pretty much the stage I'm in now where it's like it's like hey, I can tell you're trying to do something, but it also looks like you look like a child who's trying to grow a mustache, and so we're perpetually in that. But I think if I just stick to it for a couple months, maybe I can look like a 30-year-old person. So stay tuned, we'll see. Uh the other thing, uh do you hear that, siren? Maybe you hear that siren. Like I said, I'm in a new place, it's by the same window I normally do the show at for some reason. I feel like this window is louder. If the audio is not the best ever, I won't do this again. So keep that in mind as the bus goes by. But no, I I I am at my house. I said the one, the only, the lonely. Uh that's the aside I got off on, right? But yeah, I'm I'm solo at the crib for the first time. Really, not in my life, like I've been alone at a place of residence by myself before, but I grew up, I mean, I was home alone a lot as a kid. Maybe we'll get into that later. Oh, by the way, this episode I'm gonna talk about uh every job I've ever had, not every job I've ever had. We'll talk about every job I've ever had, but the title will be Everything I've Ever Done for Money. Um and I've tried to go through and chronicle as scrupulously as I can everything I've ever done for money, and I think that will make for some compelling content, and maybe in that we'll talk about me being a latchkey kid. Uh however, I I grew up with like a mom and a sister, but I was a latchkey kid, so I was home alone a lot. But since being an adult, I've never I've either had roommates and usually several, or uh I've lived with like a romantic partner. And right now my uh partner and my kid are gone for like a minute, and I am just at the crib dolo, y'all, and it is it's destroying me. I don't think I I'm a person who had one experience and now is like ready to make like a uh a definitive statement about how everyone should live. I don't think people are meant to live alone. Maybe that's obvious, and I'm sure there's probably science that points to that. Like, I don't just like you people, ooh, being by yourself, you come home after a long day and it's just you there. I'm sure there's some people out there who live alone. Y'all like that? Like, real talk, y'all like that. Like, I don't know. I'm not like a codependent person, and you know, even when I've had roommates, you know, there's been times where like you come home and your roommates are there, and that's actually when you're someone who has roommates that's like great, you're like, oh wow, I actually get some alone time. I can finally masturbate uh with the volume on. Um, but uh I don't know. I I've it's not just I don't I I don't know. I guess I've never had to be confronted with it as much as I have now. Maybe it's just like uh like today was the first day I like I'm in the same town as my kid, and for many parts of the day he was like less than a mile or two from me, and I didn't see my kid at all today. Uh just because uh I was I had work and then I was doing this play, which we will talk about a little bit um in a little bit. Uh so I just didn't have like his uh my grandm his grandmom my mom picked him up, took him and picked him up from school. Uh, and by the time I got out, he was from what I was doing, he was asleep. And there's just like a psychic toll of that to me, man. I don't know. It's not even like I feel I need someone to commiserate to or just like vent to, because like that's nice, but also I'm I can't I'm like a not a keep to myself person, but I'm not like a big I'll just be going through it and I really won't tell anybody until it's like you know, like hey, things are like uh a problem. Um so I just like keep my problems to myself, all that to say. Uh so it's not even you know needing to come home and like vent as much as it is like just coming home to the sil to the silence, to the sil like always coming home to the silence, though. Like all every time you come home, it's to the silence. Like something great happens, wow, such a fun time. Come home to the silence. Something bad happens, something bad happens, you come home to the silence. I don't know, it happened to me. I uh Thursday. So uh talking a little stand-up comedy. Uh if you're a my level stand-up comedian, I've have I I've talked about this before, probably. If you're a my level comedian, uh uh not that's not something you have to do, by the way. I keep talking I talk about it and think about it like it's something you have to do, but something a lot of us choose to do is enter an abundance of comedy competitions. Um and over the years I've like definitely lose I've lost enough that it like has humbled A, it's humbled me, which is great, but also I've re-adjusted uh my emotional, like what I'm going into it emotionally staking, right? Because initially, really what happened is my first year I ever did it, and there's obviously different levels and like sizes and like you know, quote unquote prestige of different festival or competitions. And the first year I ever did a competition, I made it to the very last round, like the top 12, like the Portland, Oregon, state, citywide uh comedy, Portland's funniest person. Um really like eight months into doing it, like the rest of the top 10. And this is not even a pat myself on the back, but the rest of the top 10 is like the most well-established, talented, like thorough comedians there. So I think that really it was very cool at the time and super exciting at the time, but for a couple years after that, it really fucked with me because I won't say it was beginner's luck, but overall, what you have to realize with any sort of art competition is it's an art competition, and like uh A, like the obvious thing is artists artist subjective, and especially comedy, every comedian knows that every single audience is wildly different, and uh you know, you could put Dave Chappelle, like any whoever like top prom comedian is, you could put them in a comedy competition. Like I've done, and this is not to like make myself sound better for losing. I'm just saying you could put Dave Chappelle at a comedy competition in like Vancouver, Washington, and his style of humor probably won't win. And again, I promise I'm not trying to say I'm at the same level as Dave Chappelle or like a simple I'm trying to make the point that you're uh you are in any sort of comedy competition, especially ones where like the audience is voting and such, you're completely subject to the opinions of whatever group of 50 people walks in a room that day and the demographics and political yada yada yada of that. All that to say, I I've changed how I look at it, and for me, I really look at them as opportunities to A, like get more exposure within my community and city, and put myself on the map of ultimately more bookers, but more comedians and more audience people who like comedy, audience members, help build my platform and help me fill my calendar essentially. Um and the other thing is I think like what can be a it can be one thing I've believed before and I've told other comedians before is that comedy competitions can be a good way to gauge where you are relative to you know the rest of your field. I because of reasons I think we'll get to, I've kind of backed off of that. I mean we'll get to we get to them now. I'm definitely talking about it. Um partially because like I I've seen so many really, really good comedians just like lose very to people. Uh just I've just seen really, really good comedians lose really early. That's what happened to me. I'm not again I I'm I'm just I'm not bitter. I just want it to be super clear. I'm trying to earnestly talk through my feelings, but uh I keep feeling like it's gonna sound like I'm being defensive. I'm trying I'm being intentionally vulnerable, okay? I didn't have to talk about losing. I could have kept it to myself, and you most you wouldn't have known or cared, okay? Really, really, really up the defensive pull on you there. Um and then the other reason is just because like um the other reason I don't think it's a necessarily a good place way to measure where you are relative to the rest of your community, or you just really just get a gauge for your skill level, is um I read Kev on Stage book yeah uh a couple months ago, and you know, I've heard other comedians on like podcasts and in books talk about this, but sometimes really like even legends like those people who are well established who have huge followings who what they do is you know, if you don't know Kev on Stage, you should follow him, and also just like uh a black comedian turned content creator who's really you know had the most success that a quote unquote content creator, someone who kind of blew up making sketches on YouTube and stuff, uh can. But yeah, like he was just like, Yeah, I bombed the first time I did it and I never did it again. And I was like, Yeah, that's also super valid. So like uh I I I moved off of the idea that it's any way to like really good get a good gauge of how good you are, like I think that you have that idea just of like consistently doing it and seeing how people are consistently reacting. Um all that to say how many times will I say all that to say this podcast? At least four. I think I've already said it twice. All that to say, um then I spoiled it, I guess, already. But I went into the one I went did Thursday I lost immediately, and you know, it was really shocking, and not because I think I'm the best comedian ever and no one could ever beat me, but it goes exactly to what I said about the first competition like fucking me up mentally, but even beyond that, like I've I've done two more compet two comedy competitions in the past year in Washington. Yeah. And uh and and and okay, that what I'm trying to say is uh from that one uh at this point, like seven, eight years ago, uh to most recently the one I just did, or the two I just did in Washington before this, I've never lost in the first round. Again, not to pat myself on the back, but it's just not happened to me. So for me to be the comedian I am today, like the best I ever have been, in my opinion, and I think pretty clearly um to just like go and not and have a like significantly worse result than I had the very first time I did it, like eight years ago, and like I made it to the fine you know what I mean? I just this calendar year, I've advanced pretty far in two other competitions. So to just lose in the first round was really shocking to me, and I think I like was a composed and good sportsmanship person. I dapped everyone up and yada yada, but I just like walked out and like walked over to the store next door and bought myself like a pokey bowl and walked home like in silence, just kind of shell-shocked, and then I just came home to the silence. Ugh, uh so that was a nice, that was a nice long tangent. I segment, I guess is what it's called when you do it for 15 minutes, uh, about where I'm at today. I didn't want to do that. I was like, I'm not gonna come on. See, I didn't want to talk about it because I don't know how to talk about losing a thing without sounding bitter at all. I hope I didn't come across as bitter because I'm not. I'm really the people that won my round in particular, really great comics. They all had really great sets. Um and the like the hurt has left my body. There's disappointment that the disappointment is like for me, the I if I can be really honest with myself, I'm most disappointed because I'm not gonna get the external validation I would have gotten from like making it farther, potentially winning, but advancing and you know, quote unquote beating all the other comics. And I want to do that, and I didn't. So uh yeah. Uh this is this is this is the episode, like I said, we'll get into the main topic now, huh? The the episode, like I said, I'm gonna focus on uh or talk about rather everything I've ever done for money. Uh it will be, you know, obviously a a little peek into the the thing, my main uh source of income, which has been food service, as I spoke about a couple weeks ago. Uh but there's also the different ways I've made money through the arts, um, and a bunch of other one-off jobs I'm interested to talk about uh and that I've never talked about before. And it's not like, you know, selling underwear or anything, but just uh let's see vroom vroom. Uh let's just see where this thing goes. Alright, I'm gonna have a sip of my uh beverage. It's not like uh it's not a pure Red Bull. It's uh uh I'm doing electrolytes, by the way. You guys gotta do electrolytes. Uh yeah, obviously there's the uh so that's electrolytes and then uh a no-sugar uh caffeine beverage. Hit the hit the link in the bio to buy Krimes brew. Okay, so there's like there's three main categories of ways I've made money. Or yeah, we'll go four. We'll go four. The four categories are nepotism, the arts, food service, and then etc. etc. A lot of different one-offs. I think we'll start with nepotism, because this is like the first jobs I had, my origin story, if you will. I say nepotism. Um, obvious not obviously, but I'm not like a nepoty now. I mean, like, I will we'll talk about it. So my mom, uh, I've never have I talked about my mom on here. I think I might have talked about my mom on the uh episode I talked about sobriety. But to give you a little background on my mom, my mom's name is Lucy Hall, she's a really inspirational figure. I think my mom is one of the best people on the planet and that our country has to offer. Um, my mom runs a resid residential treatment facility center, uh, nonprofit organization uh in the Metro Atlanta area for women and women with children who have been uh, you know suffered from substance abuse, uh, homelessness, veterans, any litany of mental health issues. If they're a woman in Atlanta and they need help getting on their feet for whatever reason, for the past 30 years since I was born, also she my mom had me and started a business in the same year. That's when I said, Latchkey kid, we'll get back to it. Hello. Um, my mom started a business called Mayor Freedom House, and since then she's helped thousands of women get clean, go back to school, find new jobs, be able to get their kids back. Uh just a a myriad of beautiful, you know, just the best things that a person could do is help someone get their life back together. I don't know. So my mom's sick. Uh, you know, to give you like a little bit more of a background, my whole f not my whole family. Like, there's some people in my family who never did drugs or alcohol. Hey, my my tummy's out. Um I got self-conscious. Um, there's people in my family who haven't done drugs. But my mom, her mom was an alcoholic and died when my mom was young. My mom had um a couple other close family members. One of her brothers, I believe, overdosed, and then my mom was suffering, you know, an addiction when she was pregnant with my sister. She basically got uh caught shoplifting, and they were like, you can go to treatment or you can go to jail. My mom went to treatment. Uh obviously the treatment connected worked, if you will. Uh, she got really into Jesus, as a lot of people going through that process do, and just a lot of black people, just people. You ever heard of Christians? Um, so she found Jesus, and that all became like the basis, like recovery in Jesus for what she did with the rest of her life. And she's taking the football and she's she's throwing that hole far as hell. Um, you know, and so when I I say uh this part is nepotism. So I'm not like you know, I'm obviously not an entertainment nepot baby. You see me, I'm recording on my iPad on my couch, you know what I mean? Like I no strings were pulled in that regard. Um, but you know, she was able to make a good amount of money, which we will get to later. Um and you know, because she ran a company or and she started this Mary Al Freedom House, like I said, um, from an early age, I was able to get jobs uh doing various stuff for her. And I probably from the time I was like 12 to the time I like literally left to move to Portland at like 22, um kind of worked for my mom in a bunch of various capacities, um, mostly working in the daycare center, and then when I'm like older, helping do like the you know, there's a it's a residential treatment center, so there's a bunch of different apartment complexes where like they have a ton of units for all the different ladies in the programs, and you know, it's a treatment center, so people are coming and going pretty often for whatever reasons, uh, you know, and then once who complete the program, once who, you know, have issues. Uh so with all the women and the residential nature of it all, a lot of like moving had you know, I basically moved uh apartments a lot too uh during the summers. Um I will say where like the nepotism comes where the nepobaby of it all is, is like I really I really wilded on the job my mom gave me, especially like as I got to like 18 to 22. I that's when I like before then I was sweet kid helping out, polite, you know, articulate, all the yada yada. But once I hit like, you know, once I started drinking and smoking weed, and this is a treatment center, I'm just I'm just like, you know, the craziest story I remember is uh one night me and my like best friend in high school, we went out to this party, and I got my friend a job there too. Uh so we went out to this party, and we we crashed overnight, we got blacked, crashed overnight at the party, and then came into work the next morning. Like, no go home, no shower, just hit McDonald's and clock in. And so we did that. I get to work, and like one of these kids, we had me and my friend were like running a camp for these kids with this daycare center. Uh, they have a daycare because all a lot of the women of children need a daycare center. I work with a daycare for a lot of it. Um, and this particular summer, me and my friend were running a camp basically, like a summer camp for school-age children who didn't have anything else to do. Um, so they gave them us. There's one day I came in and, you know, we're hungover, but we're making it through. A kid comes up to me and like pulls on like my shirt sleeve, and he was like, What's this on your arm? And I was like, What? And like ran to the bathroom to look, and my arm like was covered in sharpie drawings of dicks and swastikas because we had passed out of this party, and I don't that's the type of niggas that were at this party too, who passed out. I remember it was some other kids from like at school we didn't know. We should don't don't pass out of the party, go home, because then people are gonna draw dicks and swastikas on your arm, and you're gonna go into work the next morning and be like, How did this happen, man? You're like, you fucking blacked out at essentially a stranger's house. So uh not to vic not to victim blame myself, but just to give you an idea of the type of time I was on going in to that job. Um shout out to my mom, shout out to a very moderate, a very tasteful amount of nepotism. I I've experienced a tasteful amount of nepotism where it's like I guess what a deeply unrelatable diatribe to go off on. But just to say, you know, it helped me just have a job as a kid and it doesn't really help me now. You know, that's tasteful, right? I don't know. I'm backing off of it. Um, the other uh the other thing, this is kind of in the etc. category and kind of in the nepotism category, because this is another job I had from one of my friends' dads, but for one two to three month period, I did work construction for so man, growing up, I haven't so growing up, I had a friend um named Parker. And Parker was like we we we were really good friends in kindergarten. I remember in kindergarten first, like kindergarten, first second grade, we were like some of the best of friends, like the best of friends. I s still vividly remember uh on like elementary school field trips, me and him would sit on the back of the bus, and we had this little song we sang. It was called Nobody Knows That We're Here, and we like to just pretend like nobody knew we were in the back of the bus. And so we're friends super young, like you know, seven, eight years old, and then we went to the same school from like K through twelve, pretty much, and we were friends like K and one, and then weren't friends, and again until like 12. But at 12, we were like and I'll get to it. At 12, we were like, yo, we were you're you're you're the homie, and a big part of it was because 12, uh grade 12, senior year of high school, was when I stopped being, you know, essentially straight edge. And I a big I wouldn't say a big part of why we grew apart, because I feel like we kind of naturally grew apart, but a big reason that like in basically up into high school up until that point, we really hadn't engaged with each other at all, is because he was just much he was into not being a straight edge. He liked to, you know, drink and do drugs and cool high school stuff that I got into uh in 12th grade. Um and you know, so we started hanging out a lot in 12th grade uh or senior year. Uh summer after senior year. Wow, this is the best. I can't believe we weren't hanging out this whole time. Um we both go off to school. We both have like a pretty not similar, but we both were like pretty disillusioned coming back after our first years of college, um, for various reasons and his or her personal. Um, but yeah, we just didn't really have fun at college first semester, and we both, I think, ended up like transferring to different places, and uh and then we ultimately ended up dropping out, and so like not only had we like formed this bond of just like you know being friends again, but like we really our life started to like really follow a similar path, and you know, we were hanging out like a lot, a lot, a lot once we both dropped out, and I think like even before that, but especially once we both dropped out, we were like hanging out a lot, a lot, a lot. Like I was just working, and then we were hanging out and like honestly doing whatever drugs we can find. And so sometime at this point, I'm smoking weed at my house, and you know, as I've explained to you, my mom was someone is someone who was in long-term recovery. We've had a lot of people in our family deal with that, but she she doesn't play about that, and she never has, and you know excuse me. Long story short, me and one of my friends had smoked at our at my house and like came inside to do stuff, and she smelled it pretty immediately and you know kicked me out pretty much, and so I'm already like 50% living at Parker's house at this point, so I am like, hey, can I live here? And his dad's like, Yeah, but you're gonna have to like work. And then I don't really have a job at that point, because as you know, my job was through my mom, and that that reference fell through. So I needed a place to stay, I needed a job. He's like, Great, you could have both. And I was like, Cool. Um, and his dad was a contractor. Uh, Rick Thiel, shout out to the boy. Uh, his dad was a contractor, one of the like handiest dudes I've ever met in my life. One of those dudes who's like, I can make you anything out of wood. Um, and I could chop down the wood, and I could, you know. I I think about like he's the reason in that working with him is like the reason I have such an appreciation for just like the molding in someone's house and just like how tile is arranged and just the nuances of construction that like if they're really well done, take a house from being nice to being like magnificent. Uh, that was his back. Um, and so for a brief two-month period, two to three months, me and Parker and him and this old dude named Dave, we went and we fucking repaired this house. Uh he like I've I clearly had never worked construction by that point, but he and Parker and Mr. Dave were like, um, you know, your hands and if you listen, we'll like tell you what to do. And so for like two months, I did that. Uh what it what else? What else? Oh, we side like a lot of siding the house. A lot of time was spent like holding uh pieces of siding and like anyway, uh but during that time kind of a tangent, but I've had like so pretty much that time, uh, I'm super duper grateful for because not only did it give me a place to stay, but I was able to if it wasn't for that time, I my life would be totally different because I used the money that I saved up from not having to pay rent and working, you know. He was paying us like a good wage for construction, and I don't have any overhead, so like stacking money in three months was really easy, you know, just given I just didn't do anything besides work and then come home and get wrecked, and then you know, yada yada. Um, so because of that, I was able to save up enough to move out to Portland, and the rest is a different episode. Um but a crazy thing about that experience is I so I say all the money I had to move to Portland, like at this point when this happened, it was like a band and a half, let's say. Um I just I didn't see the problem is my mom had access to my bank account because I was still on my under like in my mom's bank account. I think I still am, frankly. Um and so like uh I just didn't want to put all that money in there because I A didn't want her to know more than anything, I just didn't want her to know I was like, you know, had a lot of money. Uh yeah, I was just like secretly gaining a lot of money, and B, I just didn't want her to take it out or have you know access to it at all. So I was keeping it all in cash. One of the weakest decisions of my life. Um, because as you can imagine, I lost this wallet. Craziest thing ever, though. I had a dream, and in the dream, I found the wallet, right? The wallet was like in this garage on this specific shelf, tucked wherever, wherever. And I had a dream where in the dream I walk to that spot in the garage and just like grabbed it, right? I wake up from that dream, walk to that exact spot in the garage, and the wallet was there. I uh one of the craziest things that's ever happened to me. Okay, all I had to say, I work instruction, I will uh talk about him more at length, um, but I don't want to just cram this full story in the middle of an episode. But um Parker passed away a couple of years ago. Um, and I just want to take a moment to shout him out and say, I love you, Parker. I know you're listening to this. Uh I thank you so much for everything. Um, so RIP the homie. Uh next category is uh next category in the things I've done to make money, extravaganza uh is the arts. And the arts I wouldn't say is a robust category, um, because there's only like four or five things in it. But the reason I thought about it, and this was gonna be, or the reason I thought about this episode, and this was gonna be the intro, or at least how I uh fucking uh got into it, right? This was gonna be, I guess the intro is the right thing to say. The intro before I did whatever intro, the sadness, sad, lonely loser intro I did was originally gonna be talking about uh acting and doing like theater. Cause right now, and this will come out the day it's happening, or the day after it happens, so you won't be able to go. I should have uh promoted it before next time I got you. But Abby, if you remember Abby from episode early, like one of the first three or four episodes, uh well we would have Abby back on, but Abby moved to New York. Anyway, Abby, my good friend, um major theater person, not theater person, uh actor, director, playwright, multi-hyphenate, star, um wrote a play, and we're doing like a a developmental reading, kind of a like a like a like a sketch of a play, um, to kind of help them in the process of you know turning it from an idea to a real thing. So Sunday at this point, two days from now, I'm gonna be making my acting debut. I mean, post I was one of the three wise men, right? I was one of the three wise men, and I think I was the big bad wolf in the middle school theater, but I never did high school theater, and I talk about this a little on Instagram. I really regret not having done high school theater because I'm more of a theater energy person, but I ended up on like the football team and the wrestling team and playing soccer, all not my jam. I am I I won't say comedy is like theater, but I am like an on-stage performer now, and I'm trying to be like professionally, so I could have learned some skills from maybe a semester. I mean, I did take an acting class freshman year, huh? I haven't thought about that in a while. Um, I took an acting class freshman year, but I didn't like do plays or like after that, I didn't like do more theater. I just anyway, I'm doing a theater, and technically uh Abby asked for my Venmo, so I'm like, oh, we're getting paid for this, and that was my like, oh, that'd be a fun episode. What's everything I've ever gotten paid to do? So so far it's just been jobs, although with both the nepotism and the construction, I mean the nepotism, some of that was above the table, but we've talked about a lot of under the under the table funds, and you know, arts a lot of this isn't gonna be over the table either. Um, but so I've done uh the as I've said, I will by Sunday have done uh a theater, theatrical performance, acted, I'm Timothy Chalamet. I will have done that for money, as you could probably imagine. I've done stand-up comedy for money. Not a lot. I've done I DJed. I've done one, I've done multiple DJing gigs. I've done one paying DJing gig. Well, I'll talk about it now. I shout out to Zach Fox, because of all the people living, who the person whose life I want the most is Zach Fox. Like, I like this comedy shit. I like this comedy shit. This content creation shit is cool. I just want to DJ, pop up on Abbott Elementary a little bit, maybe, maybe do some stand-up, and that's just my life. That nigga just be, you know what I mean? He be DJing, he'll pop up somewhere fun, and then you're like, yeah, I haven't seen him in six months. Good. That's the life I want. Um, it's all that to say. I I don't DJ anymore. Cause uh I've had a child, and I I gotta get I gotta like I don't do music anymore for the most part, uh, which hurts my soul to say. Like I got I got logic out uh last week, the first weekend of Alone. I was like, it's music time again, daddy. Cause I mean, I I've put out like songs and like freestyles and stuff over the year, but it's just like now that I'm really trying to lock in on this comedy shit, man. Like, it's listen, it's time for me. Uh not like I I like it's about to pop. Like y'all y'all heard me say at the beginning, uh I'm a loser, it's not about to pop. We we're this is like the journey. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, I gotta do this comedy shit. Cause like, you know, I I I just can't I I like comedy. I don't like the existential crisis I forced myself into. Um, so all that's say I'm DJing. Uh I've edited a musical, right? I did comedy for a couple months right before the pandemic. This dude reached out to me. He's like, yo, I'm writing a musical called Kids in Space. I want it to have some humor in it. Can you edit this script? Add some jokes, you know, see if there's you know, pretty much just add some jokes if possible. First time I ever got, I don't think I've been asked again to do that, frankly. And that was again first year of comedy. First year of comedy, I was getting whatever. I was like, I don't want to sound bitter. We were 41 minutes in. That that started to sound a little bitter. Um, I just said like I wouldn't be mad if people sent me scripts to musicals all the time and were like add some jokes. Like that would be if that was my living, fuck Zach Fox. I'll just be like, I don't, I don't, I don't know any script writers. I was gonna try and riff about a a single script writer, but I don't know no one. Um but then COVID happened. So I don't I think this dude, like, if you were working on something right before COVID, it just doesn't exist anymore. And I've never reached back out to this dude to be like, hey, are you doing kids in space still? Because I'm sure he's like a uh he owns a farm or some shit now. Um last one I can really remember uh is modeling. I didn't want to lead with modeling because I'm like modeling. But modeling modeling is gonna get me into the next one. Um, so I will briefly tell the the tale of how I got in and uh I did a job in the past year. So and yeah, I got in and have done modeling. So I moved to Seattle. Um really the path was like I went to this party, I met my homie Q. My homie Q, Sarah Q, uh, General Q on uh Instagram. Uh I met my homie uh Q at a party. Uh we connected on Instagram after that, and then they were like, I'm shooting a music video. Uh, does anyone want to like be extra's PAs or whatever? This is like I'm less than a year into moving having been in Portland. I don't really know niggas. Q was super cool, is super cool. And they were like, Does anyone want to tap in on my band's project? I was like, for sure. I went truly like a uh super like I don't know. That's where I just like met the cast for like my first season of my life in Portland almost. Um, because I met a lot of really cool people. Shout out to all of them. I don't remember all your names. I'm not gonna do it all right. I mean, I just I'm not about to list off like 12 people. Um, but shout out to y'all. And two people there were my friends Harley and Kiki. And they at the time ran this company called Ladies of Paradise, which was uh an ad agency in Portland, a woman-run ad agency in Portland. I don't know if they still do stuff, but basically they made advertisements for like a lot of weed brands and I don't I think some other non-weed brands, maybe it was just weed brands, but they did a lot of ad campaigns for a lot of weed brands, and they eventually started putting out their own stuff. Shout out to when they made J join, shout out to Lady J's. If you still have a Lady J. I'll buy I'll buy a box. I don't know if anyone still, if you're listening in Portland, you might. If you have a box of Lady J's, I'd buy a box. It's gonna be worse than they go in. Um, but they ran this uh ad agency. Oh, also Q was like you should do some modeling. I don't know. I don't I can't actually remember if it was Q or uh Ladies of Paradise who asked me to be on stuff first. I think Q might have shot me first, but I think they might have paid me first. Anyway, um, so they had me, like I said, they did a lot of ad ads for weed companies. Probably over like the two or three years, two or three years I was from like when I started there to COVID, because I don't I'm not sure how much they existed after COVID. I'm not sure. It was COVID, okay? So from the two years between me getting there and COVID, they booked me for like I don't remember the number, but like a decent amount of stuff. And so that's how I got started modeling. My homie Q, who I mentioned earlier, is also like a director, photographer that gets worked through a lot of through a lot of really cool companies. So in addition to weed companies, I done stuff for like a handful of local Portland companies, a couple more weed companies, but like Chrome. If you know Chrome, the Portland uh clothing outfitter, is that what you call it? Uh and then like now I'm not super I'm not in Portland anymore, and that's where my connections were. Also, uh, my friend Harley, who I said uh, I think her last name is Case, but Harley, who ran Ladies' Paradise, was my friend who was the first person to book me for modeling stuff. Crazy shit about uh her. If you've heard of the band New Constellations, they have a super popular song, Hot Blooded. They put a new album out, I think it was called Dandelion. I'm sorry if I got that wrong, but they put a new album out this year. She's she's like, Hey, y'all, I'm doing music, and like their first song got crazy popular, and now they tour the country and they do like all the cool music festivals, and it's just like the most successful I've ever seen one of my friends like get off of music, and it was just so cool. Like, she's so cool. Um, she was like, Yeah, I run my own uh like ad company with my best friend, and it's like I think I think I'm gonna start this band though, and then she was starting like what kind of shit is that? Some people just are cool, some people just are cool. And shout out to Harley, one of the coolest people I've ever met. Stream the new new Constellations album, anyway. Um, yeah, and now there's uh I don't even know what kind of company they are, but they reach out to me every now and again about jobs. I did one a couple months ago. Um, I'd like to do more, but self-shooting, every time it's like we need you to take some pictures for us. I'm like, uh, I don't know. Also, I guess another side is I tried, so oh yeah, this is the whole B plot of it. Um so while all that was happening, where I like started getting work, I was like, maybe I should try to like get an agent. So I basically got like headshots and reached out to like three, I think I reached out to three modeling agencies in Portland. I was like, hey, I want to do modeling. Two of them were like, Were you interested? Two of them made me offers, and probably the there's like two, there's gonna be two huge regrets coming up. One is like one, I no one cares. It's one was Q5, uh, and one was Muse, both modeling agencies in Portland. I think Muse might be in more cities than just Portland, but Q5 and Muse. Q5 was like, yo, Q5 was like this like more boutique, more human feeling, more interesting, like diverse clientele, like, and like also had contacts and like TV and other types of mediums besides just you know print modeling. And on paper were better in every way, and they were like just like just more human feeling. And I was like, that's probably who I should have gone with. And this other place, Muse was just like, look how hot our models are. We have contracts with like the best companies. It just looking at it now, it just seemed like the uh I mean, even unpacking it now, I feel like I like it was baited in by some like white supremacy, honestly. But they just like were more of like the these people look like models. Like this feels like when I say the other place was more human, this place Muse place like felt more like uh what you think of if you think of like a modeling agency where like everyone's like skinny and wearing like black t-shirts and like kind of rude, and I was like, Yeah, this feels like I'm gonna get rich here. And I I chose them, and I don't think they ever booked me for a single job. They tried to like get money from me to like do some testing shoots, and I was like, I anyways, I made the wrong choice, but I also like quit my job. Or I said there's another regret. I quit my job like very quickly after getting signed, and like having had booked nothing. I was just like, Well, now's the time I get rich and famous. I I better quit my job immediately. And this is where I said the nepotism will come back in because that wouldn't I wouldn't be here today if I didn't have a mom where I was like, hey mom, I'm an idiot. I need a thousand dollars. You get one of those in your 20s if you have if you're lucky, it's a privilege. I would never deny that. I've talked openly about the nepotism on here. I'm not denying that. I want to be more honest with people and give you a realistic expectation of life, and it's that moving across the country by yourself is really only possible from like a practicality, like you know, I've been never it's never been too hard on your person out here. Only possible if you have a mom who could send you a thousand dollars. Um yeah, and was there another part of the uh modeling uh ad store agency story? I don't think so. I think I finished the modeling agency story. I feel like I don't know. I do a thing uh here now they give me jobs from time to time. I said that already. Uh oh yeah, and then when I got to Seattle, uh however long ago I got to Seattle, I was like, you know, because I never like tried again in Portland because I was like, well, I've already all the agencies here have seen me by now, and like one, you know, kind of washed their hands in me, literally, and one I like kind of spurned, and then one like rejected me back then. So I was like, well, I'm not gonna try to do this again in Portland. I moved to Seattle, and I was like, Yeah, you know, why not? Why not send a little head shout out? And uh it's I I clearly I'm not a model, right? So it didn't happen. But it was it's such a when I talk, I've talked a lot about humbling experiences on this but this is the humble cast, uh humbled cast, because there's nothing like just having a lady like just bring you in and like measure you and just be like, no. They're like, no, fair. And then one lady I think was like at one of the agencies. I think she was trying to be like, I think she was really tepidly dancing around, being like, we don't really book black people, because she was just like, I just feel like we wouldn't be able to get you work, which could just be like a you are ugly, but it felt like she was trying to like hint at something more where she's just like our portfolio, our client, you know what I mean? So I don't know what was up with that. I'm not I don't I'm not gonna say who it was. I don't there's no need to. Alright, I'm gonna drink some water real quick. From the the the the fucking from modeling, I this wasn't immediate, but this is the next job I'm gonna talk about. So one of the people I modeled with uh at some point was like reached out to me later and was like, yo, I work for this company where we're like we dress up as like characters from Disney. Basically, I was Spider-Man, okay? They it was a company where they you dress up as cartoon superheroes, women dress up as princesses, you go to birthday parties. I was a birthday party Spider-Man for precisely one summer because of a recommendation from a fellow model. What a that's that's the most unique sentence I got, I think. I think that's as one of one ex maybe not one of one. I'm sure there's other people in the uh modeling to Spider-Man pipeline, the very sad pipeline. Um I did I do a little bit about this on stage now. I don't know, you know, I think I hope to build like more material all the jobs I've worked, because clearly there's some like clearly uh but I think there's like some interesting stuff in here, but I do talk about having been Spider-Man on stage. Um I don't know why I said that, because I'm not gonna like do the joke here. But if you hear me do like what sounds like a rehearsed joke while I'm talking about it, this is because I've worked out the narrative already. Okay, so I guess that's the uh preface. Anyway, um, yeah, I didn't like the job. I I really hated the job. Uh the worst part is I didn't have a car full time while I had this job. I dated someone with a car, so I had access to a car, but they also needed the car um sometimes because it was their car and we were just like dating. You know what I mean? So uh sometimes I had to just ride the bus as Spider-Man, like ride public transit dressed as Spider-Man out to like this was in Oregon, but from Portland out to like bum that's not a thing we should say. Uh no res uh what is it? What is what did people say out to the grand nowhere? That's not it, that's not it. But you know there's a phrase, oh Egypt? I don't think I could say the first part of Egypt. Uh anyways, if you know, you know. Anyway, uh we had to just go out to the Portland suburbs, but also like not just like if you know uh what's that place, Gresham? Just out in Gresham uh and shit, uh on the bus dressed as Spider-Man on the weekends. It didn't even it paid solid, it didn't pay amazing, but it paid solid, meaning like I could walk away with an afternoon of like 200 bucks, which is solid for like two hours of work, two to like four hours of work. It's solid. Um, and if I get a bunch of jobs in a week, you know, that's if you're a a young person who's you know renting a room in a house or something, you can make that work. So I finessed maybe this is right after I this probably is right after I quit my job too. So this was like me getting back on my feet, me getting back on my feet as Spider-Man. Um I didn't like the job. Uh I'd say because children don't respect Spider-Man. Children like Spider-Man, but they don't respect him. They didn't it was just so many times, and like I ultimately got fired because like me and my boss, like me and my boss got into like a bunch of arguments, and like my boss boss, so first of all, I had a manager here who me and her got me and them got into arguments, and then like a two years later we started dating anyway. Uh, but me and my boss boss, uh, we would get into arguments all the time, and the last argument I was like, I'm done, was because like just at a party, like so what happened was sometimes the parents would just be like, We're just gonna go inside. The kid just what you got them, Spidey, and it's like that's not how it's supposed to go. Like, you are supposed to watch your kids interact with me so that you know they're not kicking me and generally haranguing me. And this isn't what happened. Uh, so like the kids were getting real unruly and like not listening to me, and I have like a little like run-of-show I'm supposed to do where there's like little notes I'm supposed to hit and like little activities that I have to like play with the kids and stuff, right? But these kids are running amok, so they're like not paying attention to my activities, and then the parents complain that like I didn't do all the activities and that like the kids weren't paying attention to me. And my boss is like, Why didn't you do all the activities? I'm like, I tried, but no one cared because the kids were running around and they were like, Well, and I'm like, it's not so I obviously still have feelings about this, but the kids would just be disrespectful uh of what I thought was really funny in terms of the disrespect. One time this kid came up to me and was like, Hey, is it is it true you can like jump 200 feet in the air? And I was like, Yeah, oh I already I fucked it up already. Is it he goes, Is it true you can run really, really fast? And I was like, Yeah, he's like, Is it true you could shoot webs? And I was like, Yeah. And he's like, Is it true you can jump 200 feet in the air? And I was like, Yeah, and he and he was like, do it. And I was like, fuck. Uh the joke I say on stage is luckily I am black, so I was able to do it. Ha ha ha. Um so yeah, it was I didn't like the job, but owning a Spider-Man suit was tight. I would uh for some reason I don't know what this says about me, but there would be not a bunch, but like two or three, like just events or like a street fair, like a carnival or something where I was just like, I'm just gonna wear the suit. And that was like the ideal wearing the suit time because people are just excited to you, kids just give you hugs, want to take a picture, and then they run along. And you just it was a real it was a real I need attention thing, but also like an anonymous type of attention. There's something about wearing the mask. Like, shout out to the people that work at Disney World. Like, I get it. There is something about like being a celeb, like feeling like a celebrity, but not having any of the responsibility of like having Tad done anything, or like, you know, be held accountable for the actions of said character. I don't know what I meant by that. It's not like Spider-Man, I have to just defend Spider-Man's honor. Um so I was a birthday party Spider-Man, and then I quit. Um, the first job I had when I moved to Portland, uh, I was I was a bouncer, and this is a one-off. This is back in the one-off. I mean, Spider-Man was obviously in the one-off category. I was a bouncer um at this club called Holocene. And again, this part I had tried I've done this on stage like four or five times, talking about this job in particular, and I don't know if it works. Half the time I feel deeply embarrassed and like the audience is judging me, and half the time everyone's laughing. And I I'm not gonna embellish here because I I've figured out what part I need to embellish to make the story better for comedic purposes, but I don't want to embellish any of the story here. Basically, um, and please I I I was 23 when I did this. I'm sorry. I don't okay. Um when I moved to Portland, uh, you know, before I even got there, I was looking on Craigslist, trying to find a job, and at that point I had done food service, but I wasn't as like neck deep into it as I am now, where it's like the only if I if I change career fields, like I can do that, but I'm probably looking at like a dip in pay unless I like get a degree or something. Um so but this at this point I'm like okay, I'm still like 22, just moved out of uh just dropped out of school. Like I could really like get any kind of job and kind of like try and see if I could work my way up the ladder in this industry. Um so I went online on Craigslist. I found uh uh a listing for a job at a club called Holocene. Um and I hope this story gets big enough that one day Holocene has to acknowledge it. I'll just say acknowledge it. Don't release the tape. Um so I see a j I see uh an ad an ad for on Craigslist for this, uh, open position for a bouncer. I've never bounced at that point. I'd never bounced at that point in my life, haven't bounced since, but I'd never bounced. But I was black in Portland, so I was like, that's that's pretty good. They're probably like that. And I I literally wrote in the email, I've never bounced before, but I'm black. And they were like, Cool, when can you come in for an interview? I walked in for an interview. The guy was like, You sure are, and then gave me the job. Um, I'm doing the job. One night, this bachelorette party comes up to the the club, and um, you know, it's a bachelorette party, just an unchained, horny demon marooning around the streets of Portland, and they come up to where I am, and you know, I bounce them in, and this one girl like hangs back, and she's like I think she she's like making eyes with me. We kind of start flirting, she's like, Do you want she's like, Do you want to fuck me? And I was like, Yeah. Uh that's me at 23. I don't know why. I anyways, I was like, yeah, yeah. And she goes, show me your dick. And I did. And she she just said like okay and walked away, which was that was very confusing. I didn't know to this day. She never reached we exchanged numbers, she never reached out. I think doesn't speak well for the confidence my flaccid penis instills. But I don't I don't claim to have a flaccid penis that instills confidence. So I don't know what kind of woman you are where you're just like, I like I need to see. I mean, maybe she's like, I just listen, I'm not I didn't measure up. Um so she goes inside, the rest of the night goes fine. Uh I come into work the next day. I uh cause I don't I don't actually don't have work the next day. I'm coming because Zaytoven is playing a show at the club, and I'm like, oh hell yeah, I'm gonna go see Zaytoven. I come in, uh, I go to the bar, and the bar's person's like, yo, you cannot be here. And I was like, what happened? And then like, did they tell me or did they tell the manager? Either way, the manager eventually is like, yeah, we all saw the video of what happened last night, like you're fired, and that's that's how my bouncing career ended. I showed a woman I exposed myself consensually, consensually, I consensually expose myself to a woman uh while on the clock. While on the cock And uh uh fucking yeah, I got fired. Shocker. Shocker. If you take nothing else from this podcast, don't Pull out your dick at work. If I've learned nothing else in the first 30 years of my life, don't pull out your dick at work. Um, now we're gonna move into food service, which is unfortunately another area where I pulled my dick out of work, if you know what I mean. No, I would just I would just say uh of all the places I've worked, the food service worker community, the horniest without a doubt. You go into a restaurant where there's uh you know a bunch of people, they all fucking. They all fucking and someone's mad about it. Um and I think that's what makes the food good. If you go into a place in all the front of the house, in the back of the house, people there's no sexual tension, that food's not gonna be bussing. That's just a personal theory I have. I'm not Anthony Bourdain, but I am crimpany broodane. That wasn't great. Um, so in terms of food, I talked about it a little bit a couple weeks ago. I've done uh pretty much everything in a restaurant. Uh I've started as dishwasher, done prep, worked in commissary kitchens, I've done line cook, um, I've done delivery, done postmates, uh pizza delivery, I've worked in food carts, I've been expediter. Uh what else we got? I worked in a bunch of different chains. Uh Chipotle, Jimmy John's, pop belly sandwiches. I think those might be the only chains. Uh yeah, those are the only chains. Uh honestly after working at all those chains, like I have nothing negative to say. If you're eating at those places in terms of like restaurants, they're all doing a pretty solid. I mean, Chipotle, you know, every couple years you can't eat that lettuce like like Taco Bell right now. Are we gonna talk about the poop lettuce? I don't have anything interesting to say about it. Um, do you have anything interesting else to say about food service? I mean, I touched on it a little bit more. I'm not gonna get too crazy into it because I got into it like last week or two weeks ago. And also, it's my life. I don't like this is what I do now. I work in food service today from 6 a.m. Man, I had full day at work, four hours of rehearsal for this play, and you guys are getting what at this point is uh looking like a uh a rather lengthy pod, uh at least for a solo episode. You guys just niggas ain't working like creme brulee. Okay, we gotta get through this. Um I say niggas ain't working like me, as I'm like, yeah, well, I don't really feel like talking about this one. Um no, I mean I've I've I really grew up in kitchens, uh, in a sense. And you know, I saw an Instagram, like uh maybe it was a TikTok today, but just was like, you know, that one perfect co-worker thinking about that one per perfect coworker group, knowing it'll never happen again. And man, I'll just say uh important this restaurant called the Eastburn, they just closed, announced they were closing like a month or two ago. And if you're in Southeast Portland, Burnside area, Eastbourne, I I mean, I worked there is what I was that's I think that was a segue of talking about you know the perfect co-worker group. It definitely was like I worked there at like the height of my alcoholism. Like to give you guys an idea of how how food service and how alcoholism I was on Saturdays uh and Sundays, I would work I mean also just had a kid, so this is this was necessity, but lit ass weekends also. I'm sorry. Saturday, I worked expo at brunch at uh fucking Eastbourne from eight to two I think eight eight seven-ish to noon-ish, but I think eight to two. Um I worked expo at brunch, which is like expo was expo at brunch was that was a fun ass job. Uh just because it's like you're I'm in the back of the house, not calling the shots, but yapping a lot to all the line cooks. And line cooks are very funny and listening to music, talking shit. Everyone does coke. Uh um, every line cook that is. Um, but then I also got to like run food and be at the front of the house and front of the there's just two different languages, and being able to co-switch between the two during a very busy service, uh, it was a lot of fun. And but I would do that, and then afterwards, this was like RIP this coworker group. Uh, this was also, again, like I said, peak of my alcoholism. We would finish that shift and then all stay and just get shit faced for at least like an hour or two. Uh, we would all I mean, those also would not just stay, we'd go across the street to the Mad Greek Daily. I think the Mad Greek's still there. Shout out to all the people that work at the Mad Greek too. Wow, those those ladies held me down. Anyways, we would go over there, just get like several shots of tequila and twisted teas. I'm sober now, but shout out to Twisted T. Uh, and just get wrecked. And then I would clock in down at Revolution Hall, if you know in Southeast Portland, like less than a mile away. I would usually e-scooter wasted, man, wasted. Um, not only that, would I e-scooter? I would e-scooter wasted from like two-hour postwork. If you've ever been on a postwork, you know, drinking session, you know that is. We're getting getting busy. Um, do that. Clock in at four o'clock for like a four to midnight shift at Revolution Hall working on the flat top. And this is how you know this is how you know everyone in kitchens is an alcoholic or like has some sort of substance abuse thing. So like it was I did this, like I said, two days a week without a doubt. Clear not like like I did my j I never got fired. Like it I was never even talked to about it. Here's how untalked to I was about it. Um, one day my boss found a box of wine. I was gonna say, I would also drink on the job, obviously. Um my uh boss found a box of wine that I put into a trash can in the kitchen and was just like, hey, throw that stuff out outside of the kitchen, you know. And that's that's the type of time we're on. So I was like, was I drunk and did everyone know for sure? But I got the job done. And again, if you work in kitchens, you know that is that's how it be sometime. Um, but yeah, shout out to that, shout out to alcohol, man. Is it coming up on three years? That was that was peak drink, but all that to say food service, uh hard to do and not be an alcoholic, but I have I I figured it out. Um the last what are we? We got we got what are we? What are we got five more? I didn't want to say these to the end because I don't really have funny shit to say about any of these. Um, but these are just one-offs. Once for about a summer, I was a flag football, a per an adult flag football league referee. So me, it was called underdog, I mean still called underdog sports. Uh they do adult sports leagues and Portland and maybe other cities, but definitely Portland. And like they have referees for flag football, and it's other adults who are getting paid to do it. Not great money, not great money, but an amount of money. I didn't hate this job. It wasn't good. My commute, if it wasn't for the long commute, no commute, this is a fine, this is a silly one job. My commute was like such that if I didn't get off at the right time, I had to like hike, like legitimately hike like 15 minutes through the woods and like walk 15 minutes up like a stretch of the highway with like hardly any sidewalk to get to a bus. Absolute nightmare, especially in Portland where it's raining most of the time, visibility is low. Absolute nightmare. Um, but it was fun throwing a flag, like doing a referee flag, like a referees and football through the flag as an adult, being like, I'm throwing a flag and like calling the penalty. There was something there. There was something there. Some of the women in the adult professional flag football league were hot, and that those were the two things keeping me every morning. I was like, God damn it, I gotta go ref some adults playing flag football today. That's what would get me through it. Um one in college, I sold one pair of Jordans. I thought I was gonna get into selling sneakers as like a hustle. Man, before I found stand-up comedy, I I I really was just doing whatever. Um, I thought I was getting the shoes, but I wasn't passionate about shoes. I thought I would get into shoes as like a I'll make money doing this. And you can't get into shoes as a I'll make money doing this, because I don't like shoes, and so I'm definitely not gonna be figuring out how to set up bots so I can buy shoes. Um, but I did get one pair of Royal Jordan Royal, Jordan 1's Royal Blue. They're like blue and black, Royals, I think that's what they're called. Sold them, made like 50 bucks. Not really that fun. Um, I worked at a so I told you my mom had a treatment center. They had one in Portland that I worked at semi-similar. They fired me because I didn't bring in my social security card in time. And one day they were like, we asked you to bring it, and you just haven't, so you're fired. Um, I was pressed about at the time, but I couldn't care less. Now, selling plasma, if you don't know, that's that's real. I don't have money hours. Like the the phone call to the mom has run out. I need to go wait in line uh at in like a a shopping center in rural Oregon uh so they can stick a needle in me and make me feel woozy uh for $50. I mean, I I don't have any negative about it. Like, I'm happy I don't have to do it anymore. I don't like needles. If I if I didn't mind needles, I would probably still do it as much as possible. I I'd it's you just sit and I I f I experienced no side effects or adverse health effects, and I got money, and it was just like you read a book. So I would still be doing it if I didn't hate needles. Um last thing, again, I shouldn't have ended on this one, but in college, I think this was like a fake job. Like if you've seen uh uh what is it, Severance, they had that place Lumen, and they all kind of have like a fake job. I think this was like a fake job where at the Christian college I worked at, they had some sort of p job in the PR office, and they would just it was just this huge database of stories that like in some ways reference the school, and I would just like sort those. Right? That's not a real job, but I clocked in, they paid me for it, and I just did that, and it was they were like, You're doing great, and I was like, Okay. So I I think surely that's the job that there's some program to do now more efficiently than I ever could have. But that's that's the last that's the last thing on the list. Uh I think I did see there's one I did one uh I did one like comedy pornographic style video for a friend who was entering a uh uh there's uh what is it, Hump, the Hump Film Festival. I did that and I think she paid me, but I can't remember what I did or if my cock was actually out. Hmm. Yeah. I I snuck in the word cock here, and we're one hour 18 minutes in. I'm gonna be real, man. I told you I had a lot to do today. I was like, there's no way I had the energy to make it through a podcast. And I did, and I'm so glad because now I don't have to think about this for the rest of the weekend. And I think this was a good one. I found fine when I when I realize I have just a topic of like purely canon me stuff that I could talk about for an hour, maybe it's self-indulgent, but like if I'm the product, you know what I mean? Like I my bot the selling point of my podcast isn't like we're gonna learn about a thing. It's like me, nigga. You like me, nigga? Well, here you go. So I gotta go to bed. Thank you so much for listening. Um, listening to me vent up top about whatever the hell I got going on, listen to me talk about all the jobs I've had. I'm gonna go smoke a fat doobie and then take a shower because my balls are sweaty. Yeah. But she didn't need to know that. Uh bitch.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:19

Crime, fucking brulette. I'm with you back, cause she's a great. Yes, crap, fucking brulette. And with your bangs, and my she wait. We not the same, still my late. She give me brain, that's my great. I don't do breaks, I don't do gifts, I don't do change, but you my freak. I'm fucking dang, I don't do paint. And I shall stay, I make it red. I'm on a dog, I'm on a face. She won't bring, I'm on a kick, I don't do text, I don't do picks, I get a bitch, I lick carry a swish, look at the wrist. Tryna have kids, tryna eat crisp. She wanna pick, come with you bitch. She wanna kiss, and I'm a less. Call as a bitch, I'm a bitch, baby. I'm rich, why we're cramping relax, you can like you. Yeah, it's crack, fuckin' brilliant, yakin like you. Yes, cram, fuckin' black. I'm with you bit, cause you look crack. Yes, cram fucking black, and with your pick, and with your wick. Roaches on the driveway, ballin' like LeBron James, you niggas Kyrie, white bitches like Miley, like me, cousin wifey, white shit on a glass tree, black and silver spiky, whiskey in my chai tea, separate ring on her knees, as you need she tired me. I buy her some hermies, baby. It's your birthday. Won't you have some bowling? Come and sit on my face, even if it's a big cramp for lack. Ain't like we can't cram fucking relat. Yes, cram fucking relating. I want you back, she looked great, yes, cram for lack. And my shabs, and my shit white, yes, cram for like we can, yes, cramp for lack.