The Low & Slow Podcast

Ep. 23: Shake Off What Your Mama Gave You

• That Girl Magic • Season 1 • Episode 23

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There are wounds many women carry that never get named out loud.

Not because they aren’t real.
But because they are tangled in love, loyalty, grief, and silence.

In this episode of The Low & Slow Podcast, Crystal and Laken go into one of the deepest emotional inheritances women carry: the mother wound.

Not the obvious, dramatic version.
Not villainizing mothers.
Not blame.

This is about the quieter truth:

That many of our mothers—shaped by their own unmet needs, inherited pain, and survival patterns—could not always fully see us, celebrate us, or love us in the ways we needed.

And that absence often becomes the architecture of how we relate to:

  • our worth
  • our inner critic
  • guilt and shame
  • boundaries
  • love and self-abandonment

This conversation is for the woman who has felt something unresolved in her relationship with her mother but never had the language for it.

Crystal and Laken unpack how the mother wound shapes adulthood, how inherited emotional patterns get passed down, and what it means to begin reparenting yourself with compassion instead of resentment.

Because healing isn’t about blaming your mother.

It’s about understanding what was passed down…
and choosing what stops with you.


In This Episode We Explore:

  • What the mother wound actually is
  • How maternal wounds quietly shape adult identity
  • Why guilt and shame often stem from inherited emotional patterns
  • The difference between compassion and excusing harm
  • How to identify mother wound triggers in daily life
  • The role of grief in healing maternal pain
  • Reparenting your inner child with new emotional safety
  • Becoming the woman who gives herself what she never received

This Episode Is For You If…

If you’ve ever thought:

  • “Why do I still feel like I need her approval?”
  • “Why do I feel guilty choosing myself?”
  • “Why do I become so critical of myself?”

This episode will help put language to what your body has known all along.

You are not responsible for what was handed to you.
But you are the conscious architect of what happens next.

Breathe low & slow 
The healing begins here.


Follow along, tune in, and let’s get into your next mindset shift!

It means the world to us if you would rate, like, save, share, and most importantly hit that subscribe button! And if something you heard today hit home for you, share it with your world. There is plenty of room at our table.


She looks like she has it together.
But inside, she’s tired of being the strong one.

Peace. Play. Love. is for her.

A retreat where the armor comes off,
the nervous system softens,
and self-trust becomes the loudest voice in the room.

June 2026.
This is your pause and your pivot.

Check out our Women’s Retreat we are hosting —The Peace.Play.Love Retreat 

Deets: https://offers.thatgirlmagic.co/ppl-retreat

Request A Remix! If you’re stuck or in a situation you want a new lens on, submit your dilemma anonymously below for a mindset remix from us on a future podcast episode!

https://links.ivorey.io/widget/form/Wv3Q0a53AuzjoNDgLvxV

Follow us on IG:  @thatgirlmagic.co - @i.am.crystal.clear - @coachlaken

 www.thatgirlmagic.co 

Ways to work with us: Book a Connection Call

Crystal :https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/crystal-connectioncall

Laken: https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/laken-connectioncall

Follow along, tune in, and let’s get into your next mindset shift!

It means the world to us if you would rate, like, save, share, and most importantly hit that subscribe button! And if something you heard today hit home for you, share it with your world. There is plenty of room at our table.

She looks like she has it together.
But inside, she’s tired of being the strong one.

Peace. Play. Love. is for her.

A retreat where the armor comes off,
the nervous system softens,
and self-trust becomes the loudest voice in the room.

June 2026.
This is your pause and your pivot.

Check out our Women’s Retreat we are hosting —The Peace.Play.Love Retreat 

Deets: https://offers.thatgirlmagic.co/ppl-retreat


Request A Remix! If you’re stuck or in a situation you want a new lens on, submit your dilemma anonymously below for a mindset remix from us on a future podcast episode!


Follow us on IG: @thatgirlmagic.co - @i.am.crystal.clear - @coachlaken

www.thatgirlmagic.co 

Ways to work with us: Book With Crystal - Book With Laken 

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to the Low and Slow podcast. We're your girls, Crystal and Lakin. If you press play today, trust. You made the right decision.

SPEAKER_01

And know whenever you're listening to this, it's exactly the right time.

SPEAKER_00

We invite you to pull up a seat to the conversation, get curious about your current perspective, and lean in for the opportunity to see yourself in another woman's story. We created that girl magic because we've been where you are.

SPEAKER_01

Here, the talk is real and the breath is steady. Let's get into your next mindset shift. Welcome back, low and slow fam. We are getting into some tea today. And I want to ask a quick question, see, before we dive in. And it felt like, ugh, like something, you felt something in your body.

SPEAKER_00

Oh me, I love her. Um she said, you know, I vividly remember when she said it, she said, you were always perfect. Perfect baby, right? You were my perfect, like every basically like everything that I was not, right? And it's like, oh, the amount of weight that I felt on and in my body, like on my back and my shoulders, that was just like, fuck, there's no room for error. No pressure. Like you were always, you were the most perfect baby, and I was like twitching. Which normally sometimes people would hear that, and maybe that's a compliment or something, but it's like, no, that's actually been an expectation in a box that I've been putting all my life. So it doesn't feel like there's room for error.

SPEAKER_01

Mm-hmm. Yeah, so that's where we're gonna start today. Uh, because that feeling that just came up, right? Like that's that is uh a symbol of the mother wound. And so we're gonna talk about all of that. And it doesn't have to have a negative connotation to it. I think that often it does, right? Sometimes it just is, it doesn't have to be bad or good. But in today's episode, we want to talk about what she couldn't give you and how you give it to yourself. And we're shaking off what our mama gave us because sometimes it's shit that we don't necessarily want. And most of the time it's stuff that they got that they didn't want either. Right. So um I want to be up front. This one is not one that's fun for me. Um, and it definitely gets a little personal in the prep work. So recognizing that, and that may be something that comes up for you as a listener. Please feel free. Uh, you know, I don't feel the need to give like a trigger warning. We're not gonna be talking about anything too crazy, but feel free to pause if you need to pause, if you need to process something that comes up for you, if you need to take an extra low and slow breath, if you need to pull the car over for a minute, right? Like take the time with yourself. We will be here. It is on your time when you come back, but know that that is available to you.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And it's the right time when you're listening to this, right? Just like it was the right time for us to do this episode. We had to get to a place within ourselves to be able to chat about this. And we're not here to villainize our mothers, right? They're the ones that gave us life, they're the ones that brought us into this world, right? But we're um, it's not about assigning blame or bash or where there's fault. We're here to name something that um quite literally maybe doesn't have you maybe you're have never had the language for, or name something that causes a lot of this quiet suffering within a lot of women and something that's um just bringing a little, like giving you a little light through something that is very heavy.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and it's been showing up a lot in conversations that we're having with clients um around healing. And honestly, it's something that's been showing up for a while now. And once you have the language for it, then you start to see it more frequently, and it's really hard to unsee it because you're gonna see it in yourself, in your friendships, in the ways that you tend to hold yourself back without really understanding or knowing why. When there's something, you know, when you say something and you're like, oh my god, I sound just like my mom. So I want to start with naming it, right? Like what the mother wound actually is, and starting with the basics, the mother wound is a specific emotional pain that results from having a mother who was unable. And this is usually due to her own unhealed trauma, right? Her own limitations, her own wounding that was most likely generationally gifted to her from her mother. And to fully support, mirror, or unconditionally love her daughter is where like she fell short in that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And here's the important piece to hold. Um, this is not about mothers who were monsters, right? Like when I say that, I'm like, I think a monster-in-law, right? There's even something within that that they get to, right? But this is about mothers themselves who were wounded, who passed down essentially what was done to them, honestly, because they didn't know better. They didn't have the capacity to do different, right? Um, they never had the chance to have these tools to do anything else with it. And so it is kept them in that cycle, right? That um generational trauma that keeps being projected onto the next generation because she she didn't know any different.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I think it's important to remember that the mother wound wasn't invented by your mother, right? Like it's not something that originated with her, it's an inheritance. And until someone is able to name it, you will care, you will continue to carry it. You'll carry it into your relationships, your work, the way that you talk to yourself, especially, that inner critic that comes up is often an echo of a voice of our of our mother, of her own wounding and of her own inner critic voice. So that's something that's really important to understand. And what this will look like, I'm gonna read a couple of these and I want to think about like how this lands, right? So if, like we just mentioned, if the inner critic sounds exactly like her voice, that's gonna be one way that it shows up. Uh, a lot of it is going to manifest as guilt. So guilt that rises when you succeed, outgrow, or separate from her, right? As we decenter our mothers, that is a big one that comes up. The feeling of being too much or on the opposite end of that, never quite enough, right? It's usually either one or the other. We have a really hard time with feeling like we're ever just quite right in our mother's eyes, where it's either we're too much or we're not enough. And then often it's I'm never gonna be enough. That one's a big one that comes up a lot. The compulsion to shrink yourselves so that others, specifically her, feels more comfortable, right? And that goes along with that guilt that comes up when I tend to outgrow or outpace. Uh, the fear of being fully seen. Often that is an inheritance and a reflection of her fear of being fully seen, especially fully seen in her flaws. And that's a very old school mentality that we're seeing broken a lot more now. Like that pattern is probably being interrupted more than any other one that I've seen. Um, and then the way that you caretake everyone around you at the expense of yourself. So the martyrdom that's also a wound that gets passed on. Which one of these land the most for you?

SPEAKER_00

I would say the guilt that arises separating. Um and yeah, the the feeling maybe of being too much or being not enough. Um I would say it's not so much of a tear of being fully seen, but I think in there's been a lot of times personally with my mom where I'm like, we're close, but have I actually allowed her to see me in in some hard shit, and it didn't take until there was like a breaking point to allow her to see that, right? Because I had to put on that like it was all okay. I'm I'm good, you know, don't worry about me kind of thing. Um, so yeah, definitely those stand out for me. What about you?

SPEAKER_01

Uh, the fear of being fully seen is definitely one uh in a little bit of a different way, not necessarily the fear of allowing her to see me, but me being fully seen by others, especially in relationship, along with the traits that remind me of her. Because there's a lot of parts, there are parts of me that I recognize in her that I struggle with, and being fully seen in that it feels very uncomfortable because there are parts of her that I resist a lot or that I have a lot of fear around because of the dynamic of our relationship and the way that I grew up. And it was always, you know, I don't I don't want to be like that. There was a fear of I don't want to be like that. And so when that comes up in me, or when I recognize it, when when something feels very familiar in a relationship dynamic, there's there's a fear of that, of being fully seen in that, in that, you know, quote unquote flaw, of the way that I see it as a flaw. Uh anyone close to me.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Um, and then I would say also the the way that I show up as a caretaker, but also a little bit different in that um there is a sense of selfishness that is rooted in the women in my family that I've noticed has been passed on from generation to generation as a means of survival, right? The the story that no one else is going to look out for me, no one else is going to take care of me. So I have to, I have to make sure I got my back in order to be okay. And that doesn't always leave room for everybody else, or at least I can't, I can't afford to put others before me because I won't make it if I do that. And so that's something that uh hits home for me quite a bit.

SPEAKER_00

Where have you seen that generationally? Like you've you've obviously observed that in multiple generations of women or women in your family, right? I think it's important as you're even seeing it outside of yourself, outside of your mom, you're right, there's the grandma, there's her mom, right? And um if you're lucky to know all the gener, right, where you could see, oh, I I recognize it within me, and now I can recognize it somewhere else, and that actually where does this stem from? Is like we were all just fucking trying to survive. Like, that's where it's like when you start to realize these things, you can uh step out of where blame or fault is going to land and like have some compassion around like fuck, like this has been something we've all been doing. Like what what does this mean for me? Like, how do I step out of this or how do I move forward from this, or even be the example? I think, especially with women, it is special when if you're can you name it where it stops in the cycle, can you be the one to break it? And then when you do that, you're also healing generations before you that may have not had the capacity or may not have been able to do it, which is yeah, the awareness.

SPEAKER_01

And it's interesting because it shows up in different variations in each generation, because it's gonna depend on what environmental factors are at play, what relationship dynamics, what resources are available at that time. And each woman, as this wound has been passed on, it shows up differently for her, and often it's masked as martyrdom. Right. So the belief is I do everything for everybody else, and I come last when I'm actually grasping at straws to be able to show up for myself because I don't trust that anybody else can do it.

SPEAKER_00

And I mean, and I think that's something where like even as you're saying that, like whether you relate to that specifically or not, it's it's still like the yin yin yang of that, right? Like someone's gonna be on the other side of it of like I'm putting myself dead last, right? And you know, can also feel that same thing, but then it's like, oh no, well, I'm I I don't know how to put myself dead last because that's not what allows me to actually survive and move forward, and therefore I'm not letting someone else do that. Right.

SPEAKER_01

And like we mentioned before, it's important to remember that the mother wound doesn't start with your mom, right? As we just talked about, like it goes back further than that. Our mothers were shaped by a world that did not celebrate women being fully expressed. And that taught women to be small and agreeable and self-sacrificing, and they absorbed that on a very subconscious level, and that's what's been handed down more often than not. There, like I said, different variations of that over time.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So your mother, your mother essentially didn't invent your suffering, right? It was it was transmuted and it was transmitted from previous, right? She got it from her mother who got it from her mother. There's a lineage, there's this is where it's like it gets ancestral because it's been passed down. It's like the um, what's that one movie? Um I think it's called Smile, where it's like it the trauma keeps being passed on to the next person until someone decides, no, I gotta break this.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And when that becomes a status quo, there can sometimes be a feeling of guilt around doing your own personal healing to try to change that because it has been something that's been in place for so long. And it's like, well, everybody else doesn't seem to have a problem with it. They just keep going. And if I'm the one that's different, if I'm going against the status quo, then sometimes it can feel like betrayal. But healing is not betrayal. It it's not turning your back on her or the what she believes. It's ending an inheritance that was never really supposed to be yours to begin with. And it's deciding that, okay, the line stops with me. I, you know, we talked, we talked about before, like putting a different groove on the record, like skirt, let's skip this. We don't like it.

SPEAKER_00

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Or like, can yeah, can I just see this too? It's like, um, like there's there's a lesson for me in this. Am I willing to take a look at it, right? Am I willing to um understand like why it's even kept being passed on? And I think that's the piece that sometimes doesn't sit well is like if you're doing your this own, if you're doing your healing in this and it's pressing up against like these important relationships in your life where it's like, am I just assigning fault there or am I actually trying to understand like what has been passed on? Right, there's deeper understanding when you were like, oh, we're just trying to survive. It's like I can see, even though it looks has looked different for each generation, where it's like, what's the common thread through? Um, and I think for women, that is something that is the is the hard piece on the other side of that. Like we can have awareness around it, right? But how are we integrating that and how are we ultimately embodying that to do anything different with it, right? Because it's like, okay, I've I've had a conversation with my mom before where it's like, oh, I like, you know, okay, I've healed from that, right? Or like all these things happen, and a lot of this stuff goes unspoken about, which is why it stays there with her, right? But um in being able to talk about the things and integrate them and have hard conversations, right? There's still a relationship there where like you're you're having an understanding from your current perspective, but then it's still also an opportunity to like do different and show up different with her and like how she's uh or not even her, my mom specifically, but like a grandmother, right? Or anyone based off because you have your own personal experience with that, right? And it's like I think that's something that's not talked about enough of like the integration of that, because sometimes we can integrate. What if our mom's not here anymore, right? To do that, and so yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I I want to name that too, you know, if you're in a place where you are um grieving the loss of your mother either through death or estrangement or um, you know, chosen separation, whatever it is, yeah. Um, or if she's not available to you, like that that's okay. And we recognize that, and that doesn't mean that this work is not available to you. And uh something that's really important, you know, we talk about inner child work, but there's also the concept of the inner mother. And it's not your actual mother, it's it's your internalized version of her, right? It's the the voice that you carry inside of yourself, the way that you speak to yourself when you fail or when you succeed or when you take up space. Like that's important to recognize.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. And when we go back to that inner voice, a lot of time for women, that inner voice is gonna sound exactly like the outer one. It's gonna be critical, it's gonna be conditional, it's gonna be uh absent like precisely when you need it most, right? When you're needing that support most, it's like I found myself, you know, I just want my mom, right?

SPEAKER_01

And it's like it's it's interesting to um like meet yourself in the perception what you had of her, and then like the reality, and I know that that's like a it's that feels like a kind of a heavy gut punch, but um it's real, it's but the reality is that you you are always in relationship with yourself, you are, and yeah, the quality of that relationship was largely installed by someone else, and it can be rebuilt. That's the important part to remember. It's it's never too late. And that voice is not the truth about you, it's just it's just the first iteration that you heard, it's the first version that you received. Yeah. So you mentioned before, uh, one of the things that resonated with you a lot was that guilt, right? So let's talk about guilt. It like a very specific kind of guilt that I think a lot of women carry without ever naming it is the guilt of being more than your mother was allowed to be, more free, more healed, more visible, more successful, whatever it is.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, the grill, the guilt of outgrowing somewhere where she hadn't touched yet, right? Outgrowing the container and the box that was set for you. Um the guilt of like even language around like, oh, I didn't have those options, right? Or like that wasn't available to me, right? And not saying that my mama said that directly to me, but just like um I know that that's like some of the dialogue that happens, right? Like, that wasn't an option for me, right? And it's like, well, because it was an option for me, what is the what is the generation, the next generation always saying, I want to give my kids better than what I had, right? And then when that happens, it's like it's triggering. Why did you wasn't I supposed to get better than what you had? But wait, don't outgrow me too far, you know? So it's interesting. It's interesting. There's an unspoken like agreement that lives sometimes in the mother-daughter relationship, right? That the daughter won't outshine the woman who gave her life, the woman who showed her what it meant to be a woman, right? And because to do so feels on like a cellular level is like triggering for the mom or like abandoning, like, oh, the person I gave life is now exceeding right, right? The ma what is this saying? Like the master outweighs the uh or the student outweighs the master or the teacher or whatever the hell that say is, right? Yeah. And so it's like she learns without ever being told directly, right? Because I don't know, maybe some mothers have said this to your to their children, but like the need to stay small, right? To stay loyal, to stay who the who the parent has decided that they will be. And sometimes it's like the parent is also living through that child, right? So it's like it puts a lot of expectation. Um, and you know, I think this is in both of those examples, like this is something that's not talked about enough. Why? Because it's it's uncomfortable and nobody wants to take ownership of that's what's actually happening.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, for me, this showed up as not being grateful. Like you're so ungrateful, you don't deserve the things that you have, or um that I it wasn't enough, like I didn't give credit, right? So it's like anytime I did succeed, anytime I did outpace, anytime I did outgrow, I was ungrateful if I did not attribute any of those successes to her. So it was not anywhere you got to it was because of her, right? And in my mind, it was like, no, it's in spite of, and so it was this direct conflict of love, like two very different versions of a of a story where you know in her. Her truth was that it was because of her. It was a credit to her. And my truth was that it was in direct uh spite to like to oppose her, to like prove her wrong, right? To like to specifically outgrow and outdo and outwork. And what I realized now that wasn't available to me before is that her reality did not have to threaten that for me. And it it could be something that wasn't, it didn't have to be spiteful. It could just be that it was a lesson that I got to learn. Right. It was something that I could I could be grateful for for myself to be able to have that experience and and to prove it to me. It wasn't really to prove it to her.

SPEAKER_03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And it's interesting because it's like a lot of the times, even in that dynamic when the stories are so polar opposite, it's like, at what point are these stories even operating from? Right. Because it's like a lot of the times for the mother, right? It's operating, right? They knew like what life looked like before we came along, right? And it's like they're operating from that space, but that's not actually the space that you're operating from. So it's like we're talking, we're speaking two different languages, being in two different timelines here. Um you know, I think the line of like staying loyal to a diminished version of herself. I want to touch on something I know that my mom has said to me, like, I see so much of me and you. Right. Where it's like, um when there is things that happen that are similar, right? Like that's by no accident. Like, oh, my mom has that experience. I didn't even know of that experience, and I'm currently experiencing that right now. But it is you know, I was once a part of her flesh. There was there's things that my mom felt when she was having me that again that were like tran that was transmuted or transmitted in me being brought into this life, and you know, it's all the unspoken things that I have come to find that I I had no idea that my mom had been through these, and I'm also going through them, and I'm like, what the hell? Like, okay, well, if I'm choosing to move out of this, right, and I don't want to stay small, stay here, right? I know it's it has been like sometimes a um like a direct I don't know it's not like a conflict, but like there's the ability, okay, can I out can I grow from here or do I stay stuck here, right? And saying stuck here means that that's where we've related before, right? Um saying stuck here means that's more surface level, right? Because if one of us is willing to do the work there and the other isn't, right? It's like, how can how can I like speak my truth of where of where this is without ultimately, and that's where the guilt comes in, right? Like I'm speaking, I'm doing different, I'm speaking my truth, I'm standing on, you know, creating boundaries, standing with what works for me, and how can that happen if it presses up against something that maybe she was or was not able to do, right? So it's like that guilt about like staying small that again was always taught, but we also that's something we have to take ownership of of like that may have been taught to us, but that's a choice to keep doing it as well.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and any guilt that comes up for claiming your life is not a sign that you're doing something wrong. If anything, it's a sign that you're doing something new. And just like when your nervous system flags anything else with a negative emotion, it's because it's something that's unfamiliar. And when you can understand that the guilt isn't is um a signal of growth or expansion and it's not evidence of wrongdoing, then you can start to move through it instead of feeling stopped in your tracks by it, right? Or or going into an overthinking spiral or spiral around it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah. So but go ahead. No, no, you go ahead.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I was gonna say there's another pattern um that I want to name, and that's what happens when daughters learn early on that their that their job is to manage her mother's emotions. And that's also where being small comes in, right? To make herself smaller so that her mom is able to feel stable or to not need too much from her or to not take up too much space or to read the room and adjust accordingly.

SPEAKER_03

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00

I know, yes. I know yeah, and you know, that becomes a learned skill set. It becomes that fucking Bob the Builder belt that you wear and that um you're equipped for whatever comes up. How do you know what do I need to be or how do I need to adjust, right? It's that refined ability to disappear or to um to learn to learn how you need to be, which then ultimately um is like that first is is that first place that you're learning that, and then where the pattern continues in maybe other relationships, right? Maybe in a partnership, maybe in a uh friend dynamic, maybe in you know, a work dynamic, whatever, where that skill set with someone that's closest to you, if you learn that there, it's like okay, I'm doing that because I love this person, right? Like, and how many other areas does that show up? But then are you like you're not actually you're doing that for the other person, their expectations and their needs, right? But what are you actually doing for yourself? And then that's where that guilt is bred as well, because it's like, oh, I'm not doing it for me then.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's gonna show up in multiple places. So if you learn to to shrink for your mom, right, then you're gonna end up shrinking for everybody else. And until either it's called out or you name it, you know, or that you create awareness around it, it's not, it's not going to shift. And so, for example, like for me, this would show up as um, there was a lot of hyper-vigilance around mood because it could change very quickly and it would result in a very negative reaction. And so I am very hyper-vigilant and very attuned to the mood of the people that are closest to me. And if there's something that feels off, then the immediate response is that I did something wrong, right? That it's my fault and it's my responsibility to manage that person's emotions to make sure that I fix it. And that's something that I have to recalibrate, that I have to remind myself of. It's like it's just not all about me all the time. Like it's it might have nothing to do with me. And so I have to, you know, check myself and also ask, you know, stay curious of, you know, what, okay, what's going on for me right now that that's that that's coming up? Am I mirroring something? Am I am I projecting something? Right, like can I attune into what I'm actually feeling in the moment as opposed to worrying and focusing so much on what other people might be feeling? Or you could also just ask.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. Um, in the opposite way, which this somehow always happens with us, where it's opposite in this way, where it's like, yeah, there would there's also like this um naming this in this way where it's like if some if the mom is feeling something and I have this personal experience with my mom where it's like I I am emotional in that way, right? Similar to her, but if there, if I am trying to micromanage or see what she needs, right, and show up and be that and do those things for her, at what point am I doing that for myself? Right. And I think that's where like in learning that, where it's like, oh, there was such a need here and a focus here, and maybe that wasn't dealt with there. So, you know, are my feelings a part of this equation? And like the where that leads to, even I've seen in patterns of mind within relationship where it's like I'm wanting to make sure the other person is good, right? Regardless of how I'm feeling. Right. And so um it's like that perfect example of like the abandonment when if the emotions were too, I don't want to say like too loud or like the focus, right? Where that focus shifts and changes, and until you allow yourself to be the focus without the guilt, right? That your feelings matter too, right? And and um it's like how how can you hold, how can you not be the sponge? That's really what it is to absorb someone else's emotions as your own, even because you also have your own emotions, right? So they're gonna feel like they're yours, but it's at can you know the difference, right? Like what's mine, what was actually hers, and like I don't have to absorb, I can let her know what I'm available for, right? I can let her know. Um, hey, I understand you're feeling like this, and yeah, I'm that same. Like, what what what do what would how can I support you, right? Like, and just asking more directly rather than taking on like your stress is my stress. Because that's not productive either.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and when it comes to what's hers and what's yours, that's where I want to talk about something that's it's it's delicate, right? It's like holding this paradox. The idea that we're not here to say that your mother did her best, so it's fine, right? What happened may not have been fine, and naming it is not disloyalty. You're allowed to say, This hurt me, and both things can be true. Essentially, it both things can be true that your mother did the best that she could with what she had at the time, and your needs were not met as a child, or that you still had an experience that was very painful for you. And just because you experienced trauma as a result of that interaction, that doesn't mean that she wasn't doing her best. And just because she was doing her best doesn't mean that your trauma is not real or validated.

SPEAKER_00

Right, right. Both things can be true. Your experience was real. Can you validate it? Right, because it did cause you harm, right? And she was also someone doing the best she could with what she had. And, you know, this is where it's like, can she validate her experience of like I did the best that I could, right? Because her, if when when both on each side cannot validate their own experience and what they're experiencing, then we fall into, well, my best wasn't good enough, or um, you know, like my mom just wasn't there, right? And we start getting into like these stories that we're telling ourselves when can we just hold the duality for like two things can be true at the same time? And that's what's sometimes just hurtful of like, I can't go back and change what happened, but this what this was what was happening. Can I just understand it even if I don't 100% relate to it? Which that's a lot of things in this life, like yeah, because that's what triggers the defensiveness, right?

SPEAKER_01

It's like, well, it can't that can't possibly be true because if you really I don't and yeah, that's something that I struggled with for a really long time. I I refused to accept that my mother did the best that she could, because there was no way in my mind that if she did the best that she could, that I would have had the childhood that I had. But her best is not my best, right? Like your best is not your mother's best. It's it's not the same. Like we said, these show up in different ways and different variations in every different generation and the resources and the self-awareness that is available to that person at that time. And none of those things make anyone's experience less real. They are all true at the same time, and that's really uncomfortable to hold. It took me a long time to get to the place where I allowed the grace for both of us for to say, yeah, that really was her best. And it's okay that it wasn't what I needed.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think that that's that's the key piece, though, too, is like, you know, our are this is something I've grown to learn too. And let me know if this resonates for you, where um the more you became familiar of what you needed, it then highlighted what was unavailable, maybe in that relationship, right? Or like that what was unavailable that she had to offer, right? And I think then it's like it's that feeling of like, well, are like are my needs valid? Then like, yeah, your needs are absolutely valid that you needed that in that moment, even if the woman who gave you life couldn't quite possibly give that to you. Yeah. Like it doesn't diminish that the need was still there. And I think it's like this is where it's like as you step into like as everyone has stepped into womanhood as they've gotten older, where it's like we're we don't need to constantly apologize for having needs, whether it's our mom, whether it's our partner, whether it's with a friend, whether it's with whatever. It's like there's still a need there, and we are ultimately evolving and growing into the woman that we actually needed as a child, right? But it's like just like your mom grew into the woman who she actually needed as a child, or you know, again, with her with the she did her best with what she had at the time.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and having that compassion doesn't we have we have a hard time getting to a place of having grace or compassion for that because to us it is a direct threat of the validity of our needs, right? So it's like if I say, if I acknowledge her experience, then that means that if she couldn't meet my needs, then then I wasn't good enough or they weren't valid enough, or it wasn't important enough. Yeah, exactly. And that's not that's what we have to get around. It's like the goal of compassion is not to excuse the behavior, not to excuse anything that that was uh harmful to you. It's not to minimize what happened, or it's not, it's definitely not performative forgiveness. That is what that is it that won't help anybody, right? The goal is to free you from carrying the anger, the resentment that you're holding on to, because the anger is heavy and it wasn't really yours to begin with.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah. So it's like if it if it wasn't yours to begin with, that it was a generation before you, right? And like having this shift of like the passive inheritor of like, oh, I'm just getting this, even if I don't want it, to okay, I'm I'm gonna be more conscious and I'm gonna architect what I want. Like, what do I want to do with this information? I can recognize what this is, I can see where it came from, right? It's like we do all this work to build the awareness and how do we integrate it? I also understand that she was carrying something different, right? Because that's before I came along, right? Or that's when I was too young to understand, right? And this is where like so many women say, like, I didn't know until I became a mom myself, where yeah, it's like, oh, that's what like if there was any taste of, you know, it's like you don't know until you have the experience of your own. Um, and like in carrying something, like how do you know until you've had that experience of your own how to carry something that someone else didn't know how to put down? Right. And so this is where it's like I get to choose I get to choose to turn it into something different, right? When I've had that experience, and I don't need to like it's like I don't need to make um the previous generation of myself wrong. Like that's why we evolve with generation to do to to do better, um, to learn from you know the prototype before us per se. Um and you know, I think it's like once you build the awareness and it's brought into your awareness, then it's like, okay, I can I can do something different with this. I don't have to keep doing just what she did, because then that just continues the pattern.

SPEAKER_01

Also, when you when you can pan out and you can see what she's carrying and you can you can see it with empathy, yeah. Then you you can let go of the need to villainize her anymore, right? She doesn't have to be the villain in your narrative, which that's that's a rough place to be. And not performative empathy, again, like real empathy. This is not, well, I, you know, I'm choosing forgiveness because it's the high road. No, it's like you're deciding that you're not gonna take it with you anymore. It's it's purely for your benefit, it really is. If you are choosing to do this because you're telling yourself that it's for her, then it it's the you're missing it. You're missing the point, right? It's like it's not about becoming uh a better daughter in her eyes or from her point of view. It's about actually being fully expressed and becoming yourself.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah, or being okay with just being yourself and and having and accepting that, okay, yeah, that was my mom.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_00

That was my life. It's like I think of the um, I think of the visual in my mind a lot when it comes to this of like, there's, I'm not saying a house on fire, but like uh something happening where it's destructive or chaotic or something, and I have been in that, right? But then what this where you have compassion, where you stop villainizing is when you're on the opposite side of the street and you can say, like, I'm not in the fire with you anymore. I'm I'm across the street. And when you're ready, right, to come here, right, when you're ready to move out of that, like I'm here and available to do that, but I no longer have to be in the fire with you to, you know, prove or, you know, like absorb or have that mean anything about me, like show the show that I love you or whatever, right? Like I can, I can have my own uh feelings and place and stance about this. And um, I think that's a powerful thing when you can just take that walk across the street and say, like, mom, that was your story, right? This is my story, and I don't have to make your story wrong because of my experience. Like you had your own experience as well.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So once we have once we have the awareness in place and we can we can see what's going on, let's talk about how we actually move through this. So we're gonna give you some stages of uh healing this wound, right? And it not necessarily to think about healing as a linear process because it's absolutely not, but I just to give some general direction and how we often see movement happening through this work. So the first stage is naming it, right? You want to recognize the wound as real and specific and structural. It's it's not blame, it's clarity. So naming it ends the confusion of why do I feel this way about myself, right? So we want to get very clear on naming it that it's it's not you, it's not an identity trait. It is it is something that is um inherited or something that you can see it clearly.

SPEAKER_00

Like give an example of like something you mean by naming it. Because I think somebody listening would be like like recognizing the wound, they're kind of unsure of what that is. So like clearly, sometimes naming it is maybe they don't have the language for it. So like give an example.

SPEAKER_01

So, like the examples that we've given leading up to this point, right? Of like I have the awareness that um for me the wound is gonna show up as uh survival mode of like prioritizing um my own needs over the needs of others, right? Or um the like the the lack of gratitude, right? So an example like that, like where does it show up for you that you're currently like essentially shitting on yourself for or that you've received negative criticism for? And can you name it and recognize that it's something that was inherited and not not an identity flaw of your own? Okay. All right. And then stage two is understanding. So seeing how your mother's limitations were shaped by forces outside of both of you, right? Like this is something that again was uh subject to what were the conditions that this person was growing through during her time of expansion and then her mother before her, and that that mother before her. And if you have access to these women as it goes back in generations, ask them. Like that's really, really powerful. It can be really, really um beneficial and amazing conversations can come out of it. So it and again, this doesn't excuse anything, it allows you to contextualize it so it'll it just allows you to understand them more, right? It's like if I could come to you with curiosity instead of feeling like I have to defend myself against you or feeling like I have to accuse you of something that you've done. To me, can I take down the shields and the swords and like just come to it with a goal of understanding? That's the second stage. Then there is a grieving process, right? Like embodied emotional loss of the mother that you needed but didn't have, like the potential mother. We touched on that before of like the version that we really needed that is not available to us, um, not intellectual, but actually felt, right? This is the stage that most of us skip and one that we can't afford to. And it's really important. I I resisted this stage for a really long time. I was like, fuck that. It was undeserving of my energy, right? But it was 100% necessary. And it took uh however many milligrams of psilocybin to get me there. Right. So you got to do what you got to do. But that it is an important step for sure. Um, stage four is gonna be separating. So that looks like building your own identity, not in reaction to her, but genuinely independent of her. So knowing who you are when she's not in the room, not um, not allowing patterns to repeat themselves just because, like, well, if that's just the way that I am, because that's how my mom is, or like, oh, I got it from my mom, right? Or like, oh, like, yeah, I recognize that. Oh, sound just like you know, like if it's not something that you that you want, if it's not aligned with the type of woman that you want to be, then separate yourself from it, recognize it. And especially like, see, you can speak on how this shows up for you, but it's like going back to what I was talking about of like the the pieces of me that I don't feel that I want to embody. How can I recognize those and separate myself from them without judging or shaming myself around it? Right. It's like, yeah, it it does make sense that those are gonna show up. That is part of the way that I was molded, but I don't have to accept it. I don't I get I get to choose.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah, I think um I think being able to say that there's a choice in that is where you like when you move out of the victim mentality and say, like, okay, I'm gonna choose different, right? But I think um when you even start to see those similarities, I don't know, when I've thought about this, it's like I hear so many clients say this of like, yeah, I I don't want to be like my mom, right? And if anything, it's like I that's a spell in itself. Like, I want to be like my mom, or I don't want to be like my mom. If we say I don't, it's taking us a direction our mind is gonna go in the direction of like, oh, we're all the ways that I'm like my mom, right? Yeah. And then it's like I want to be like my mom, where it's like, okay, what would Normake them after that? Well, my mom is, and then you're listing all the good qualities about her, right? And so I think it's like in that choice, there is stuff that, yeah, we're gonna resemble or have some qualities that are similar. Um, but can I meet the parts that are ultimately within me that are within her as if I'm trying to have these words come out, right? Can I meet the parts that are in both of us as like the mother I needed at that time, right? As my version, right? With can I have gratitude for the strengths and the weaknesses? Can I recognize both? Right. And can that's also the choice. That's also the choice to say, like, well, that's how she did it. That doesn't mean that's how I have to do it, right? And this is where it's like um that trend of like when kids, when millennial moms are now saying to their kids, like, you know, I'll give you something too, and then they finish it, eat, right? Or something like that, where it's like the your mom did it this way, and like now how you're doing things, and that's freeing. Like that choice comes back to of like, wait a second, did I break the cycle here? Like, I don't have to keep choosing what she chose and like the very parts of her that still show up in me. I get to start loving those parts of me rather than having the resentment or the anger or whatever, like how I feel, maybe towards her at one point, right? I get to start loving those parts of me. And actually, in doing that, it's like that's that's the work, whether your mom's present or not.

SPEAKER_01

It's like if you can start like that's the final stage, loving the merging of her, yeah. Yes, yeah, that's um the reparenting, right? So it's like I would like you to speak to this one because I feel like you you are very, very good at this. Um, but the the reparenting is the final stage.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so thank you. I'll receive that compliment all day. Um reparenting is actively becoming, like we said, the the version of you um that you always needed, right? The loving, the supportive, the one that could give you and meet your needs, the unconditional, ultimately like that presence for yourself. And you know, I think this is also, and I want to touch on this when it comes to reparenting. It's like when you zoom out outside of you and your mom, if you're listening, it's like, how can anybody know quite literally what someone else needs if they're not them? And I get it, when we're a baby, we know they need to eat, right? Change the driver, all the yeah, we get it, we get the basic needs. But it's like we were once all that version of ourself. And so, you know, there's a point where your mom was learning what you needed, right? She doesn't even know what she needs half the time, sometimes when she becomes a mom. So there's like when you get to that final stage of like, oh, I've learned what I need here, and it's okay that it didn't come from my mom. It's okay that it gets to come from me now. It's okay that I I have, it's like I've worked at this in my entire life to really get clear on what I need so that I can step into like becoming that version of myself, whether it's the mother I've always needed or the adult I needed, right? When I was a child, like that, that's really big. And that's also part of the reparenting where it's like, God, I I am so clear on what I need now. And when I can give that to myself, I let I there's a freeing sense of like I let go of anyone else having to do it for me because I've reparented myself there. Yeah. Which it's like that's something your mom or dad or whoever may or may not ever be able to do for you, right? Because that's something within yourself.

SPEAKER_01

And they've that's also something that they've probably never done for themselves. For themselves, correct.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I want to circle back to the grief piece really quick because something came to me that like part of the reason why most of us try to jump over it or skip past that part is because if we acknowledge that grief is necessary, then that means that we're admitting that that loss is real, right? And if we admit that it's real, then we have to stop waiting for our mom to fix it. Because a lot of times what we want is justice, right? We want that accountability. We want her to validate our experience by taking accountability for the wrongs that have been done to us, and we have to stop holding our breath for that conversation to go differently because again, her experience is different than ours, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah, we can not receive what we've never grieved losing. Yeah. Right. Like, I can't heal something I haven't named yet, right? Like this just came up in session with a client today where it's like, gosh, she's being able to see for herself of like, I haven't even grieved the lit little version of me who was never able to just be the kid, right? Who had to be the adult at six, you know? And it's like there's there's so there's so much weight in that that it's like that may be the thing that we want to receive, but if we haven't grieved it, how are we creating even the space for it to come in?

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Yeah. And the the grief has to be specific, not like, oh, I needed a better childhood, right? Like that that's too big to feel. It's like, yeah, I needed her to be proud of me when I got that job, or when I, you know, when I made that goal, or like I needed her to let me be angry without punishing me for it. How often does that come up, right? It's like we weren't allowed to fully be fully expressed in our emotions. Yeah. Yeah. Or like I needed her to stay in the room when I cried and like just hold space for me to physically hold me, right? It's like the more specific you get, the more the grief can actually move. Because then at that point, only at that point are you acknowledging what it actually was. And like C said, like what you're able to um name for yourself that is necessary. Because until you're willing to acknowledge your own needs, how can you expect anybody else to show up?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And in that, if the more specific you get, right, the more then it's like it becomes less of my mom or my dad or whoever's job. And like I'm giving quite I'm giving myself quite literally the roadmap of what I get to start doing for me. Like I needed her to be proud of me. Can I name it first? Because it came from somewhere. Like, absolutely, yeah. I wanted her there when I felt sick and you know, run my back tending to me. I wanted, I wanted her to, it didn't matter what thing I wanted to try, but just support whatever I was doing, right? Or whatever. So it's like, then you can start to see where it's like, do I do that for myself? And if the answer to your question is no, then it's like that's where the reparenting can come in because it's like, oh, now I get to, like now I'm aware of this shit. And if my mom could do it for me, I get to do it for me. And if and if we choose to not do that reparenting, I think this is also something to look at. Like if you do already have kids, this is something a lot of our clients say of like, I don't want to pass that to my kids, or I don't want to be that for my kids, or whatever. And it's like, okay, well, can we start? And this is why like the needs are so important. Can we honor exactly what we need? Because then it's like we're creating less of an expectation for the next generation to fulfill those needs, right? With who they choose to be, who who what they decide to do in their life, what they are to you, like, you know, life's gonna transition, they're eventually gonna leave the nest. And it's like if we put all of our value into like being a mother is so beautiful, but are you can you give yourself what you need uh to be fulfilled without having your kids then uh you know, uh take on that um role or expectation, right? So really becoming a good mother to yourself, right? And you know, that's that's the work, right? That's not just healing the wound, but that's actually developing the capacity, bro, the capacity to be present, the capacity to be compassionate, the capacity to fucking celebrate yourself and tell yourself that you did a good job and that you're proud of yourself, and that, you know, um you're being you're being to yourself what she couldn't be, or maybe what she didn't have the capacity for. Is like I'm gaining the capacity through my mom's experience where it's like, oh God, that's such a teacher in that of like I saw what that looked like, and now I I'm getting an opportunity. You can look at this as an opportunity. It's like um I'm getting an opportunity to to differ. And even, you know, we're talking about the mom here, but this just came up for me like personally with my dad, because I have more of a um I have a father of a father, yeah. There you go. I have more of a father wound. I'm not gonna say my relationship with my mom's perfect, no, but like we are more close in that way. Um with the father wound, where it's like I'm it is an opportunity, it's an opportunity that I get to, you know, reparent myself and who my dad needed to be. So then even in partnership of like the man that I'm choosing, right? And like it's it's the same thing, even though it different, like it the gender doesn't matter, it's still the same groundwork. And I don't want to say it doesn't matter because father and mother are very different, but I just mean in in the reparenting, it is an opportunity for a lesson of something else, how you can do something different.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And learning to stay with yourself when things are hard is it can feel like a lot sometimes to celebrate wins without immediately minimizing them, right? To speak to yourself in a way that is that uh like a genuinely loving parent would speak to a child that they are fully proud of. That that is not unfortunately, that is not the default, right? That's not the go-to, that's not what we learn to do. And so it does take intentional practice.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, it does. It does. Um, the goal, even even when practicing that, it's like great, you get to practice it in a million different ways. And however you practice it is is not right or wrong. It's the goal to become the mother that you wish that you had, right? It's um that's that's not the goal. Don't you don't need to become the mother that you wish that you had, you need to become the mother that you actually needed. Right. And the one that you needed for yourself, which may be honestly the most radical thing a woman can do. Yeah. Like it's like, okay, yes. If if she couldn't be, but I did, it's like, oh my god, okay, thank you. Life, I mean, what do you call it? Circle of life.

unknown

Complete it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So in looking at all those components and the different stages of kind of that healing arc and uh what we do with it once we see it, right? It's like we always like to leave you guys with some some practical some practical tools that you can take. So um something you can actually do. And so here are some invitations for you to take into your always an invitation. Always an invitation. Um, audit your inner critic's voice. This week, when that critical voice shows up, pause and ask, whose voice is this? It does it sound like hers, right? Just naming the origin can begin to loosen that authority that it has over you.

SPEAKER_00

All right, next one. Practice the good enough mother dialogue. So when you're struggling, um, when you're scared, maybe when you fucked up, you made a mistake, like, goddamn, you're human, right? Ask yourself what would a truly loving, accepting, um, unconditionally supportive mother say to me right now? And I think this is like this is where it kids kind of fun. And I love the woo, so I'm all here for this. But like, you know, it's like a the fairy godmother, kind of, right? Or like sometimes I have to think of someone I see as a mother, but that's not my mother, right? Of like, you know, what what would they say? And then say that to yourself out loud. And if you're in the grocery store, I mean, like, you don't need to be weird about it. Bibbity bobbity boo. Like, say it to yourself out loud, right? If you can, if if you can ultimately always write it down. We're always telling you to write it down, but um, practice that, right? Because the more you start to practice it, then it's like when it actually happens, then you can start to like you've practiced it enough, you can now set that as the new default of like, oh, I'm no longer going to respond to myself in that way. I'm actually gonna respond this way because that gave me what I needed.

SPEAKER_01

And sometimes if this feels inaccessible to you or um too foreign to you, a lot of women have more success with coming from the approach of what would I tell my child, right? What would I tell my daughter if she was so as a mother, how would I want to show up differently than what I received? Okay, now do that for yourself.

SPEAKER_00

Right. Well, I think also there's something to speak to that is like sometimes, even though they're a mom, if they haven't had that for themselves, they may not know how, right? So it's like, oh, well, I don't exactly know what to do with this, right? But it's like if you go back to maybe what you needed in that moment, that will nine times out of ten tell you.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah. Um, and the last invitation is gonna be to grieve one specific thing deliberately. So again, uh specific, not I needed a better childhood, but like one specific thing that you name. Like I needed her to be proud of me when I succeeded. I needed her to let me have my anger. I, you know, whatever the need is that you did not receive, write it down, say it out loud, feel it, and allow yourself to grieve it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And grieving, guys, is not just sitting here boohooing, crying. Like I get it. We don't want people just like sitting in there. This is something to note because we talked about this in future or past episodes, where it's like holding space for yourself is just allowing yourself to feel whatever it is, honestly, right? Not shaming yourself for it, not you know, um repressing it, yeah, not repressing it, not also being like depressed about it and in bed all day, but like if that is what your body's asking to rest or whatever, like can we notice, can we notice the difference here? Like, do we need to?

SPEAKER_01

And everybody's different. Like sometimes, sometimes yeah, sometimes you need to emote, sometimes you need to physically move the energy that you're feeling. Like everybody's gonna grieve or handle it differently or express it differently. Right.

SPEAKER_00

And like, can you just like give yourself in the grieving process of like, oh, I'm intentionally deciding that I want to. So it this is not something that's like out of nowhere. Like, why am I feeling like this? I am giving it the space, like allow that that airplane, aka your feelings, the grief to land somewhere, right? And if you give it space to land, then you can ultimately receive the information that is it doesn't always have to happen in meditation or it doesn't have to happen in even through screaming, right? Or just getting it out. Like you've got to move a lot of scream. Yeah, you do. I can't. I don't know. I can I not when someone's around. I need to just no, I need to do that on my own time. I don't care who's around, I'm gonna scream if I need to scream. Well, that's how I feel about crying. I don't care who's around, I'm gonna cry. I gotta try to.

SPEAKER_01

And that's where that's where I'm like, I'm gonna go cry by myself in private.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, I'll go scream by myself in private because God, that's funny. Okay, all right, so the woman, the women who change the world are often the women who are brave enough to grieve what their mother couldn't give them, right? And they start to give it to themselves and they decide I'm gonna choose something different anyway. Those are the women who they move out of that space of I'm no longer blaming her, I'm just going to become what I need to.

SPEAKER_01

Just remind yourself that you did not cause this wound. Your mother is not a villain in your narrative. She was she was just a woman carrying something that she didn't know how to put down. And none of that changes what it did to you, but it happened.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it happened. And now you are the one that gets to decide what's happened next with that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So remember, we're we're we're moving, we're moving from being a passive inheritor. We're we're recognizing what it is, but it doesn't mean that we're just stuck with it. Yeah, we get to be that conscious architect. We get to alchemize it into something different that serves us.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, that's the whole thing. That's the T. That's the whole piece of pie. Like, sit with that.

SPEAKER_01

So we appreciate you all slowing down with us today. Um, and if this brought something up for you, please sit with it, share it. I guarantee it's gonna resonate with somebody that you know and you. So please don't rush past it. Be present with it and acknowledge it and share it with somebody that you can talk to about it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And if that's not available to you, as always, you can share it with us, okay? Let's rap about it. Send it in, and we'll see you next week.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, like, subscribe, rate, all the things. Love you guys. See you. Bye.