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Emily's Pajama Party
Hi There- I'm Emily and I started my jiujitsu journey in 2024. I am building a community to encourage all women who want to train the accessibility to do so. I interview inspiring individuals to build connection and support.
Emily's Pajama Party
EPP: Meet Laura (Adding Layers to Create a Well-Rounded Life)
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A cute-boy invitation in high school turned into a wrestling-and-jiu-jitsu career built on passion, discipline, and the kind of intensity that wins impossible matches. Laura shares how she walked onto a Canadian college wrestling team with almost no experience, when we get in our own way, and what it really takes to level up when you're starting late.
Emily and Laura break down the exact mindset shifts that changed everything: how to train with purpose instead of just logging hours, why details like grip, weight distribution, and body position matter more than brute force, and how wrestling gave Laura top pressure, grit, and a gas tank that still shapes her game today. You’ll also hear how coaching reshaped her approach from yanking and muscling through positions to trusting flow, precision, and timing.
I love how new folks and seasoned veterans can all benefit from listening to this one.
Hi everyone and welcome to Emily's Pajama Party. I'm your host, Emily, and I'm so glad you're here. Here at the Pajama Party, my goal is to help all women that want to try jujitsu have a safe place to ask them questions, learn a couple things, and get ready for maybe their first class or their 300th or wherever you are on your journey. So sit along with me, listen in for a really fun conversation today. So this week, when I think about ways that I can become a better crappler, it's important for me to remember that when collecting techniques, knowing 300 moves isn't nearly as valuable as knowing 20 really well. Depth beats width. I feel like that's such a life lesson for me because I want to know everything and I want to see everything. I want to learn everything, but that is such a shallow existence. I know that if I focus on a few things, I can really dig my teeth into them and just become better at those few things. Now, I could be very singularly focused and pick one and do it smashingly well, or maybe better than dibble dabbling in like 300. However, I love variety. So 20 feels like a very reasonable number. It's not 300, it's not one. So it's important for me to remember that it's okay to pick and choose, work with the ones that work really well with my body right now. Then as I feel more comfortable, then I can start looking for variations. But start small and build from there. Now moving on to the episode, I had a chance to sit down and talk with my friend Laura from the gym. It was such an evolution of a conversation. I know many podcasts, especially jujitsu ones, will talk about either a technique or something very focused and really lead with that and just stay on topic the whole time. I am not that person. I know, surprise, surprise. Almost 50 episodes. This is number 49, by the way. Also, Emily, stay on track, stay focused. So when talking to Laura, I really thought that we were gonna have a solid conversation about wrestling and jujitsu together because I love that piece of her story. I knew there's like a shred of a detail about her. And I'm like, oh, the two are similar. They're like, I wouldn't even say cousins, because I consider Nogi and Key cousins, but they're relatives. They still, you know, go on the same mats, but there's a lot of differences, many similarities. So sitting down with Laura, I am like, okay, this is gonna be a grappling jujitsu wrestling episode. And it turned into so much more than that. I love her intensity and her drive. And I think that's kind of what follows through. She has gone through such a path and journey of her own combat sport way. And I love that we can fear a little bit off my direction that I thought we were going to go in and touch off a story of someone that, but wait, there's more. She added another layer to her game. She added stand-up, she added takedown, she added wrestling. She went back to college to pursue that and get even stronger. And I think it's all the pieces that make her such a fantastic training partner. It was wonderful and eye-opening to talk with Laura. And I hope that you love it as much as I did. So without further ado, here's Laura. All right, Laura, welcome to the podcast. I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for having me, Emily. Yay! Okay, so tell us a little bit about yourself and how you found yourself in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
SPEAKER_00So I have a funny story about that. I found Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in high school, my senior year. And I always tell the story. This cute guy who I thought was really cute invited me to go do jujitsu, and I had never heard of it before. I was more into like basketball across country. Yeah, never heard of jujitsu. And I was like, okay, he's gonna be there, might as well show up. Like he's inviting me to something. And I show up and it's with the key, and I'm like, I have to wear this like heavy thing, and then I start a class and people are yanking on it and stuff. And honestly, like after that, I fell in love with it. I didn't jump into it right away because I was applying for colleges and kind of like it was at the end of my senior year, but um yeah, after that, I was like, I was super grateful that I I followed him into that class. That's how I found it. They're a cute guy.
SPEAKER_01I wonder how many stories start with like somebody like a cute boy invited just so long, and then you go to class and people just mauling each other.
SPEAKER_00And then he doesn't even train anymore, so it's like I don't even know what he's doing now. But the gym is Coachella Valley Brazilian Jiu Jitsu over in Indio. Indio or Palm Desert area. Yeah, I love that.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so that's your start into it. And a little bit about you. I met you through training at Kovo, and I'm like, this girl is amazing, and she's so strong and a little scary, or maybe a lot scary on the bottom. So nice. You're such a great person.
SPEAKER_00It's funny that you say scary. I feel like now that I'm I'm you know, postpartum, I just had my baby. I do feel a like I don't have that intensity that I used to have. And maybe because I'm not really training for anything specifically or have anything in mind. Well, I do want to train for no-gi roles, but like I'm not trying to bring that same intensity as a professional uh, you know, athlete. So I don't know why I seem scary.
SPEAKER_01I think you are a really passionate person, and I think that you're very direct and you know what you want. And I think in a world of very flippy-floppy people that will very like milk toasts that kind of go with the flow, someone that's very direct and passionate can feel so out of the ordinary. And I think what I say scary is because you you move like water through the moves. If you look very much in control, and I love working with you because you'll get me in a spot that if you took it a little bit farther, it could be really bad. But you stop and you give me that look in your eye, like I could get you. And I think she could get me. And then we like laugh and then we restart. And I love that control. I think that's where it comes from, is that you have a grasp on it and you're so confident in your moves. And so that's what I guess I mean by scary because you're like such a lovely person to work with.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. Um, I feel like I I am very passionate and I am very direct, and when it comes to training, I think it comes from like professional like mindset where I'm there for a purpose, and that's all that's it. I'm not trying to think about anything else, you know, I'm not trying to have other conversations, like I'm trying to work through jujitsu. But I but honestly, I give credit to the flowiness, to like how it feels to Nick Boley. Like, ever since meeting him, I feel like my jujitsu has changed. And, you know, and having a lot of conversations with him, you know, it's never about like winning positions anymore. You know, if you want to get good in positions, you have to work in those positions, you know, and you have to let people get you in those positions, and you have to know how to safely tap someone. You know, I'm not I'm not, you know, I used to be the girl that would like go 100% and like yank things and like be so rough. And and I didn't like that version of myself, you know. It was an intense version, and then I found Nick and he coached me through like the water, like flow, like no position is bad, you know, like it's just yeah, I I credit that to Nick for sure.
SPEAKER_01He has so many words of wisdom. Like last night I was working with Brown Belt Nick and I something came up and I said, no, lazy jujitsu, and I said it to myself, right? Because I got into a triangle and like my hips were high enough. So it like everything falls into place when you do it correctly. Yeah. But if you're playing lazy jujitsu and your back is on the ground, of course you're not gonna be able to get into position. And so that little voice, his little voice of that comes through my mind every once in a while.
SPEAKER_00No, it's true, and it's and and the lazy jujitsu, that's true. Like if you're in, and that's another thing I feel like why I'm passionate about. If you're intentional in your practices, one hour goes a long way compared to the people who can train like two to three to four hours, you know, a day.
SPEAKER_01Yes. And so we I love this part because we're like right there at the tip of everything. We're here because you do both wrestling and jujitsu, and they both have such threads that run through your life. And I love going into a conversation because I had that idea of where it was gonna go, but then where do we go from here? So you've always been so intentional with your training. And I remember that's what triggered me wanting you on the podcast because you talked about being like walk-on with wrestling, like trying to make up for that time. So having you on the podcast to talk about your relationship between wrestling and jujitsu, kind of what came first of wrestling? Well, I guess you started in high school with introduction to jujitsu. Yeah, but really um getting into both of them. How does that look for you?
SPEAKER_00So I started jujitsu second year of college officially. So I got introduced to it in high school, started second year of college when I was at UCI, transferred to Biola, walking down Fullerton and saw Gracie Baja, and I was like, this is what this is the jujitsu that I did in high school. Like, they're wearing the giz, they're wearing everything. Signed up and then it went nonstop for like eight months. Like, would go in the morning and would go in the evening, you know? And on top of that, I was in school, so I was juggling all of that stuff. And then after Biola, and I so when I was in Biola, I had like a weird story. I started at UCI because I wanted to be a doctor, transferred to Biola because I wanted to be a pastor, loved jujitsu so much, it was like, I don't think I want to be either. I want to be like, I want to do jujitsu. So then dropped out of school and then just kept doing jujitsu, went back to like a community college after that. I found a coach because I was looking up strength and conditioning for jujitsu and I found a CrossFit site. So the coach there introduced me to wrestling, and he officially became my like official coach for about like 10 years, like my mentor, I would say. But um, because of him, I asked him if he could train me personally. He showed up to one of my jujitsu tournaments, and he saw that no one was there, like no team, no coach, and I just showed up on myself. And usually I feel like that's kind of how it is sometimes. We could talk about, I mean, not not at Kobo, never at Kobo, but at some other like jujitsu places. I I know I would just show up. No, no one would want to come and corner me. And and he was like, You're doing this by yourself. And I was like, Yeah, I I really love this. Like, I want to see, like, I want to put myself out there. So he started training me, and he's and he had this really good idea. Well, he started training me. I did no gi uh worlds as uh as a white belt and then got my blue belt. And after I got my blue belt, I really thought to myself, I'm like, what can like I want to take this further, like this martial arts journey. Like, I can I can do jujitsu and just learn jujitsu, or I can do MMA and do everything, you know? Like I can do kickboxing, boxing, wrestling, uh, muay thai, like everything. And I was like, I think I want to do MMA. But by that time, I was, I mean, I was like 21, 20, 23. I was getting kind of I was I wasn't at my youngest, even though I was looking back now and it was young. And he had this idea of like, okay, well, you're out of school, but let's let's get you back into school and try to get you on a wrestling team. And I was like, I've never done wrestling. And he goes, It's okay, like I'm gonna send out video of you doing jujitsu to different schools. So he sent out videos to different schools, nobody really answered. The only two they answered was the one in Canada and Simon Frazier in Canada, and I forget which Oklahoma one. And both of them wanted to do like a recruitment trip. And I was like, Well, I don't want to go to Oklahoma. Let's do Canada. So I go for the recruitment trip, and mind you, this is with like minimal wrestling experience. I had just done jujitsu. So I'm my I think I was doing folk style. Like I was training with the wrestlers, and I go up to Canada, and I didn't know that women's wrestling for college is freestyle, which is a different, it's different than folk style. And I get there, and the coach is like, Well, I want to see you wrestle, and we're having this big event in downtown Vancouver, and you're gonna wrestle my um national this girl on the national team, you know, at 121 pounds. And I was like, What the heck? Like, I thought I was gonna be in a practice room. I was so nervous. We get there. Again, I didn't have a coach, like she had her coach, had everyone there, all her friends. I get there, and there was it was a big event, like there was a lot of people, and I was like warming up like MMA style, like doing like my MMA stuff. It was like honestly to look back was kind of cringe. And my mom, my I bless her heart, she's the one who came with me to the recruitment trip, and she was like in Spanish, like, Tulo por this, I said, like, no, no, no, like you don't need your coach, like you can do this by yourself, like you've done this always, like you can do it by yourself. And I mean, I went and I went on, you know, I wrestled her and and I won the match without knowing because like she threw me and I didn't know what that meant, like, and people were like going crazy, but I kept going on, I kept going for the double. I only knew how to front headlock and double, but I took her down as many times as I could, and I won. So I won that match. And she was very surprised. The coach is really surprised, a lot of people were really surprised. And the coach comes up to me and he goes, You know what? Like, you did kind of good. I want to see you wrestle again. So he had me wrestle this other girl, and then I was oh my, I was so nervous. But I ended up beating her as well, and then that's how I was able to walk onto the team. So uh yeah, I never got like a scholarship or anything, but like after he saw me wrestle, walked on the team, and then was supposed to have a wrestle off with the girl that I had beat for the 121 spot, but she never ended up showing up and just officially took her spot. And then for the two years that Simon Frazier wrestled at 121 and then went down for my last year at 115.
SPEAKER_01That is quite the story. Like, yeah, talk about popcorn moment. That's you can make that into a movie. You're like, I'm gonna try. I feel like that's all the movies that you see like in the 90s, like the underdog, they're gonna come. And you're like, on the side, and then you win everything, and no one saw it coming. That is that's really cool. And I never knew this without you. Yeah, no, yeah.
SPEAKER_00It was cool, it was cool because I feel like when a lot of people say, like, oh, I want to do this, but it's too late, or like I don't have enough time, or like, I really think like I mean, you can honestly do anything. I mean, time is an illusion. Like, you know, like I say, like if you really focus and you have that one hour, if you have those 30 minutes, you can get a lot of stuff done. And I only had, you know, maybe like two weeks of like folk style training, you know, and it wasn't even freestyle. And at that, at that moment in my life, I was very focused. Like, you talk about like being folk, like passionate, like I was like intensely like that was mean, Laura. Like, I was mean about it, you know. Like my practice time was my practice time, and no one could like get in the way of it. And I honestly feel like that's what prepared me to, you know, wrestle like unexpectedly, the you know, the national champ girl, and then this other girl. And I was just like, with a little bit of like not giving a fuck kind of attitude, you know, like gets you a long way.
SPEAKER_01Well, and I think that's that is not a talent, like that's within, right? It didn't matter how long your legs were or how much you could bench press or you know, your split times for running or how much money you spent or the most expensive gear. Like that was sheer well determination, then shapes all those other avenues in your life. And what a wonderful thing to have like in that moment, but also as it carries it through and to see it in so many areas. I really like that. That's really cool. And I love circling back to that idea that time on the mat is precious, and you've had to devote a lot of attention into a very, very short amount of time to get the most out of it. So, what eight months of training might have looked like for you could have looked like six years to somebody else, depending on how much people put their attention focus into it.
SPEAKER_00Well, my thing when I started jujitsu, when I started MMA, and when I started wrestling, is like I knew that these girls had started when they were younger, like maybe high school young, maybe middle school young. And I started when I was like 23, 24. So I knew that I had to like, I had to pay attention in practice and I had to make every practice count. And I needed to give 100% whatever that looked like that day, no matter like how tired I was. So I knew that I knew I needed to catch up. I always felt like maybe still feel like I have to catch up, which is uh probably like a me thing, you know, like something I have to work through, but it's definitely motivated a lot of parts of my athletic career.
SPEAKER_01I could also imagine, like, as a mom, like and and as we have kids that move through school, I've always said I don't want my children necessarily to be number one. I think if you're number two chasing number one, there's like a different intensity and focus. And as you say, being behind, you weren't trying to be like out of the gate. You knew you were better and you had to keep people away. You weren't trying to catch up. I guess it's like a mindset thing because sheer, like surely you were at the top of so many things, but just the mindset of saying, like, I'm going to get better so I can beat them versus I'm already the best and I want to stay the best. There's a there's like the chasing versus the finding a way that I kind of love that keeping the goal, eyes on the prize, what I want.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. Yeah, I always felt like I was, yeah, like you said, chasing something, never really fully attaining it, but chasing something.
SPEAKER_01So weird question. So in class and staying focused, because we were given time to like have a drill. So, like last night, practice this takedown, it's a five, six move sequence, you know, I do too, you do too. We keep going back and forth. There comes a point, five, seven minutes in that I've now done the technique so many times. Are you trying to speed it up? Are you looking for ways to counter it? Are you referring to the movement? What is how do you stay focused the whole time? Because I you kind of feel like the energy in the room sometimes. Like we were focused for the first couple, and then it kind of gets loosey for chit-chatting.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Uh, I guess when I do it, I like to see how the move feels and see not like right or wrong, but I like the feeling of the move. So whether if you're doing like a takedown, like a single, whether it's like snatching the leg, like I focus on like, okay, how tight is it? Is it supposed to be tighter? How's my grip? Is does my grip have to be different? Where's my position to like my neck and my shoulder? Am I squatting correctly? And then I try to emulate that in every when it's my turn all the time. And I never want to like have like how you say lazy jujitsu or lazy drilling, because I know that if you practice if you drill lazy, it will come out lazier in competition, you know, because you're gonna be tired, you're gonna have things going on in your head. So if you can practice it not to perfection, but to the best of your ability, it's gonna come out on the mat like that for competition, you know? So uh for me, I don't I don't really focus. I for me, it's like my my my college coach, he used to say this funny thing where like I would do a move and it wouldn't, and I would say, like, okay, well, can you coach me? Like, I know something's wrong. And he goes, Oh, you just gotta feel it. Like, you gotta feel it. And I'll be like, You gotta feel what? Like, I don't, I don't understand. Like, what do you have to feel? And he goes, You just gotta feel it. And I understand now, like, once you're practicing a single and it feels off, and you keep practicing, you keep practicing, and there's that one moment where you hit it and it feels good, and it's a feeling, and you hit it, you take them down, and then your body remembers that. I feel like it, like once you feel it, like your body integrates it. And it's not like you can't do it wrong anymore, but now you know what good is, so you can't go back to doing it bad or sloppy, you know, because then you're in your head about it, like you you you gotta be able to, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So when you would then are you trying to memorize the emotions for that specific technique, or is it more like a global feeling, right? Because I can never remember all the details. Yeah, what are the parts that stick out to you? Because I have a fairly good short-term memory. So the coach is like, did this, did this, did this, did this. I got it for technique. Um, but as soon as I get on the mat to roll, like it disappears.
SPEAKER_00I'm more of like I love jujitsu because it really not forces you, but invites you to be like in your body. And I love being in my body because I'm such a head case sometimes, you know, I'm very like analytical. I like to like make meaning out of things. But with jujitsu, it's like when I can I'm able to turn that thing off. And for me, when I do moves, it's more of like a feeling. Like even when I when I do privates with Nick or you know, when I'm with a a training partner, I I like to do the move over and over again. And then and then I'll ask, like, okay, does this feel right? Does is this okay? I and I I guess I am a little bit particular on the details because also like the details somehow like make the move feel different, you know. So I am like, you know, how do where do I position my weight, you know? Like how should the lock be pushing up or down? I so that's what I like to focus on.
SPEAKER_01I love a good attention to detail. Like I just love how technical Nick is because just little shifts in body positioning takes it from something that's very like strength based or oriented to being very technical. And I feel like that's the only way I'm gonna get ahead is if I remember those things because sloppy and quick gets you like a two percent advantage, but really for how long?
SPEAKER_00And not very. So yeah, and it's not sustainable. I feel like that's. Higher you go up in belt, it's sloppy and quick is not sustainable with those who like are you know, like you said, very attentive to detail and are disciplined in their technique.
SPEAKER_01I think those are good things that you know would apply to jujitsu, MMA, wrestling, all of those, I guess, and especially as a female athlete, being able to work with so many different training partners. Seems like sage advice. Yeah. So now, as you look at wrestling and jujitsu, in some ways I could say they're very similar, but in other ways they could be so far apart from each other. Was it hard for you to switch from one to the other? Do you prefer one over the other?
SPEAKER_00No, I love them both. They both have like a special place in my heart. I love wrestling. It was a it was a beautiful era in my life when I was in college and I was on the women's team and just seeing all these women like devoted and high level, I it was just it was amazing to learn from them. And I yeah, they I don't prefer one over the other. I I truly love doing them both.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00And I and they're very, like you said, like complimentary, you know, like if you're really good at jujitsu, I would recommend, okay, well, if you want to level up, learn wrestling. You know, if you're a wrestler wanting to go into jujitsu, I would, you know, that's that's kind of I feel like a little different just because nowadays, like there's so many, like, like so, you know, there's so many different like moods. Yeah, I mean, I'm always like they're the two are complementary. So I would say like if you're gonna get into jujitsu, definitely learn your wrestling for competition. And if you're a wrestler, you know, wanting like you have to learn jujitsu.
SPEAKER_01Now, I don't know the adult wrestling scene. Are there still up? I know so jujitsu has become quite popular, and we can find gyms all over. Is it as easy to find places to wrestle at? Girl.
SPEAKER_00No, when I was like 21 or 22 or 20, I don't even know. I was like around my 20s, like early 20s, mid-20s. I was wrestling with high school boys. I don't know, there's a lot of club wrestling wrestling clubs. I don't know a lot that have adult wrestling. I feel like maybe that's new now, but when I was, you know, learning wrestling, it was it was with high schoolers, it was with high school boys. It was gross. It was gosh, no, you're kidding. No, it was and they're strong, like they're I mean, they're they're feisty, you know, so they don't want to get beat up by a girl, especially like someone who's like 20-something, you know. So it was it was a great learning experience. But yeah, I mean, there's more jujitsu schools, and then they offer more classes for adults for wrestling. I know my husband, he was teaching at a gym and he offered uh wrestling for adults. And the first couple of weeks there was a lot, but it kind of like dies down. I don't know many adults who are willing to take wrestling that seriously, or like they just go for a wrestling class.
SPEAKER_01My oldest did wrestling for a couple years in high school, so you're like, ew, gross boy. It's like I totally get it.
SPEAKER_00I lived with them. They're like farting on the mats, and they think it's funny, and I'm like, oh, this is so gross. I'm not saying all high school boys were like this. I'm just saying that it could be gross guys. So funny.
SPEAKER_01Well, and I don't so knowing that he has some understanding of moving on the mat, I tell like he would try to do stuff with me at home, and I'm like, I'm absolutely not working with you because you're 18, you're stronger than you know, and you like he liked to do surprise things because he wanted to see what would happen. I'm like, you're gonna snap my femur because you're just gonna try something really weird. And said, I have refused. Like, we can come to them, you can come to my gym and there's all sorts of big boys that can absolutely roll with you. But this is not scary.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, surprise things. I feel like yeah, I would say no to surprise things. I don't know where my body's gonna go, how it's gonna move on surprise things.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yes, that's an 18-year-old boy mentality. That's not a 44-year-old mom mentality. Yeah, exactly. That's so funny. So as we make the transition, and now you've been training more in the last couple years. You had a baby and he's getting so big and you're back to the mats. Yeah. What are you working on in jiu-jitsu? What does that look like for you?
SPEAKER_00Right now, I am what I'm seven months postpartum. I'm still breastfeeding. I just started doing weightlifting, and I just now started slowly, consistently doing jujitsu as well. So my goal is to do Nogi Worlds in December. And I don't know if I uh I will do adults or masters, one or masters two, but we'll see. It's cool because I I have one world at every belt, which is cool. Like I really want to do it at Brown Belt, and I've done it at adult, so it'd be cool to do it at adult, but I just, you know, I'm at the I'm at the stage where you know I did all the like I I I pursued all my like athletic things, you know. I I mean I went ham, I went crazy, I was intense, you know, I did the wrestling jujitsu, MMA, did all that stuff. So now I'm in my motherhood era era, you know, and my baby comes first. So I I'm kind of like in this trying to figure out how to train and how to bring that passion without bringing in that like scary intensity into it, you know. I I I maybe I'll save that for when I do competition, but as of right now, I'm like I'm I'm happy being a mom and I'm happy doing my training and I'll see how that looks.
SPEAKER_01I think it's just like as with everybody, I feel the same. My life is a series of seasons. And what am I working on and what time do I have to give? I know, like my by trade, I'm a teacher, and I before I had children, I could stay until five or six o'clock every night if I so chose to, and I could take work home or do things like that. Once I had children, that just wasn't feasible. Maybe I could have made it work, but at what sacrifice? And for me it wasn't. And there comes a time and we all decide I can still be good. I might not have the same time, devotion, energy for it, but that doesn't take away from being as successful as I can. And as a mom, like some days you're up all night, and so you're training the day next day might not happen or look very differently, and that's okay. And being okay with okay sometimes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah, no, I I I totally agree. You know, I I'm also like going back to school, getting my masters, and in doing so, like one of the academic advisors asked me, like, well, you're just gonna have to find out like what kind of mom you want to be, you know, and that's gonna that's gonna dictate how you're gonna show up in class. And and I I keep thinking about that, like what kind of mom do I want to be? Because if I want to be a mom that's present, that's attuning to my baby, that's there for my baby, like, yeah, practice is second, everything is second, you know, my baby is first right now. Like, really, I really believe like the first three years, two years are critical for a baby, you know, building the nervous system, like regulating them, like all that stuff, secure attachment, you know, all that stuff. But yeah, so I mean, I I guess I'm going into this like new jujitsu phase with the with uh that like not mantra, but that saying, like, what kind of mom do I want to be? Like, yeah, I want to be intense and I'm gonna be passionate, but I also want to be there for my baby, you know, because like you said, I'm not sleeping right now. I'm still waking up like three to five, you know, times a night. You know, my baby's teething right now, too. He's waking up, like I'm breastfeeding, and I'm sure that like the women who are professional and you know they're getting paid. I'm sure they have lots of help. You know, maybe they're parents, maybe they have nannies. It's just me and my husband right now. So we're just like bouncing the baby between us, you know. So maybe when I get more extra help, I'm able to do more. But as of right now, like I like thing with my baby, you know, and I like bringing him to, you know, even though it's kind of like it's a lot bringing him to practice. I love seeing him there. I love, I love seeing how he takes in the world, you know, how he literally is a sponge. And he's seeing me and he's seeing fighters and he's seeing dad and he's seeing everybody. And I love I love that it can be integrated all together, you know, like motherhood doesn't have to be separate from anything, it could just it can be an all-encompassing thing and can sprinkle into all other endeavors.
SPEAKER_01Sure. I'm I am not just a person that changes my hat depending on my environment. There are times I will pull my mom hat or my teacher hat because that is a hundred percent of the lens that I'm looking at. But to deny that I am just made up of all these different colors from all the parts of my life, that's something to be said too. And we like as we've learned from like jujitsu, it's like the calm under pressure. How bad is the situation that I'm in, and like being able to take stock. This might not be my favorite thing, but I can go through that. And I have a lot more to work with than what I give myself credit for. Like in the beginning, it's like, ah, red light, red light, red light, panic, panic. And then you realize, oh, I can still get a hand in in between. I can still take a deep breath, I can still get to my side. I'm not flipping anybody off me yet, but I can work up to being stronger or more courageous or whatever the case is.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome.
SPEAKER_01What are some of the so as we circle back to the wrestling piece and we talked about the life things, what has wrestling taught you about your game or how you move your body?
SPEAKER_00So wrestling taught me a lot of grit. A lot of, I feel like that's when I do like top passing, I feel like wrestling has helped with that because it helps me stay in my stance, it helps me stay quick on my feet, I'm not on my knees. And I feel like wrestling is like because in jujitsu, like you can be lazy, like it's not lazy jujitsu, but you can be relaxed and be technical, you know? And for wrestling, I feel like even in practice and drilling, there is no like it's hard to be kind of like relaxed. You have to be able to set up your moves and to hit the to hit the you know, your moves. But as far as like what it's taught me with my body, like what do you mean by like what it's taught me with my body?
SPEAKER_01Well, you never like I love that you said it great. Like you talked about how it's influenced your game and how you were talking about passing on the feet versus the knees. I like the idea of also economy emotion. I was trying to really I'm an ultra runner, I I run far, and that's always been really fun. Absolutely does not really apply to jujitsu. I was hoping endurance and things like that would come, but that's such a different energy source.
SPEAKER_00Okay. So I see what you're saying. Yeah. So I would say like top pressure, like understanding how to pin someone in jujitsu, I mean in wrestling, and then transferring that over to jujitsu. In my MMA career, I was really good at that. I would just take girls down and I would just be on top of them and just like smother them. I'm really good at and that's what I'm really good at. Like, I uh yeah, so I would say body-wise, like I'm really good being on top. I'm really good knowing how to transfer my weight and how to keep you on your back and how to keep you on your knees. And because of wrestling, I had a really good gas tank. I could keep going and keep going and keep going. Whereas sometimes I feel like jujitsu, like I said, like jujitsu, you could have this like laxadasical kind of uh posture. But if you meet someone who's like intense and keeps going and keeps going, it's it's kind of hard to keep that posture. You're gonna have to have to pick it up at some point. But if but if anything, I feel like it's taught me, yeah, like how to keep that pressure and how to not stop.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01I think that's really important for me to hear. I if I carried something over from running, it was definitely endurance. Like I have, I could push the pace like when I was tired, but then I would often get like sloppy with my technique. And so then I started for a little bit now. I've been thinking, maybe that's not the right approach. Maybe I need to be more thoughtful. But I think as my skill and technique pick up, then being able to keep moving and all that stuff will come. Because I'm trying to get out of that like spazzy white belt, spazzy blue belt thing where I'm like frantically always trying to get out of a position.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And knowing I can push the pace appropriately without like losing position or making sloppy mistakes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. No, I I yeah, I I mean, I feel like everyone goes through that white belt, spazzy white belt phase, you know. I feel like you'll you'll only get out of it the more time you put into jujitsu. You know, I feel like it's you're supposed to kind of go through it, you know? You're it's an it's a whole new sport. I mean, talk about like you're close to close, like your body's probably feeling like, what the heck? Why is someone on top of me? Like this is not normal. Like, get him off, you know, it's just you're just experiencing something new, and the more time you do it, your body's gonna get used to it. And then you're gonna you're gonna realize one day you're gonna be at practice and you're not gonna be so frantic and you're not gonna be so spazzy, and you're gonna be like, oh my god, I've leveled up, you know?
SPEAKER_01I find that I often work with the upper belts, right? So luckily I have like no shortage of blues, browns, purples, but even black belts to roll with. It is amazing, and I either feel like a mouse getting toyed around with by a cat, or I just get like mauled, which I love. Like so much room for growth. Yeah, it can be the game changes. I'm not necessarily trying to like I would love to tap them, it's not gonna happen. But so it's like, how long can I make it, or how long I can survive, or my game changes. The other day I got to work with some white bell gals, and I got someone in a bow and arrow, and I'm like, I actually got like a position just because I hardly ever find myself being able to do that. So that was kind of fun to be able to say there is a possibility for growth, and sometimes because you don't see it every day, it just might take a little bit longer.
SPEAKER_00And also, I mean, you have to take into consideration when you're rolling, when you're a white belt and you're rolling with blue belt, purple belt, brown belt, black belt, like it's hard to practice technique and it's hard to practice the things you've learned because you're so fresh, they know more than you, they know like two moves ahead of you, you're only on that first one. So it's important to roll with people who are also white belt, you know? So you can practice your moves and you guys are all on the same level, but it it's hard, and it's hard to get your, you know, you see you want to tap like a brown belt or a you know, it's hard because obviously the different levels.
SPEAKER_01It's nice to keep eyes on the prize, but with realistic expectations, like knowing that it's probably not gonna happen. I'm not going to get upset or mad at myself because it didn't happen. I was just overly joined that actually did. I was shocked. She like, I kind of got in position and then she rolled the wrong way. And I'm like, oh my god.
SPEAKER_00You're like, gotcha. Oh, it was such a feeling. Oh, that's amazing. That's amazing. I feel like those are the feelings you're you should, you're like, not that you should, but that are good to remember for your body. Like, that's what a bow and arrow feels like when you get it tight, like, and you'll never forget it. And now you'll know how to do it when you on somebody else, when they roll the wrong way or when you're chasing it. You'll your body will know how to position it because you've already done it.
SPEAKER_01And knowing also, like, I've been there so many times. I'm like, oh, if you just get a little hand in, if you get your head over, if you turn in, if you get that elbow up, I could see things that she could have done along the way to get out of it. And I we can make it totally clear here. I'm usually the one that's like the frog cooking in the pot. This is a very odd sensation to be on the other side, but it also gives me such an insight. I'm like, wow, when I roll the wrong way, this is why it doesn't work out, or whatever the case. Well, that's exciting for you, Emily. Yeah, I love exciting. It's like inch by inch growth and being okay with it because I love I love your intensity that you bring into it, and I aspire to be like that. However, I would have to work a lot harder to get there. And I see how you how so how so? I love your focus. So, my background, I do a lot of behavior stuff, and I know I have a lot of escape behaviors when I get anxious. And so if I'm practicing back and forth and it starts to get kind of awkward, then I might throw a chit-chat question in because I'm like even doing the same thing 20 times, it's not really changing. I don't know what to do. So I'm gonna talk to the person and I might find and for part of that too is a part of the community. I now know a little bit more insight, but I absolutely stand in my way of my own growth. Like I could keep pushing through.
SPEAKER_00So, like every yeah, everyone stands in their way of their own growth. But that's interesting because I like where you have that conversation with other people, I have that conversation in my head with myself. So when I'm doing the move, and then it's and then I'm like, okay, my should I keep doing it? Like I am like, I'm having that conversation with myself all the time, which is why I love jujitsu because it gets me out of my head and in my body.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01We live in a world where there's so much feedback all the time. And so it's really nice to have something very physical that I have to address. Like I you get that, you start to feel the knee slide into place, and you absolutely have to address that. Or you start to feel like when someone does a shake of your lapel, and you're like, oh no, they're gonna, they might be faking it, but oftentimes you have to expect it's gonna get pulled under your shoulder or wrapped around your head. Like, just be prepared. Now I have something new to focus because they're setting something up.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, it's like your whole body becomes like a sensor and has feelers. Like you start knowing what things feel like and what things don't feel like, and or what things feel good when things feel bad, and you have to address them. Like, because you can't you can't be like in your head, like, does this feel no, like you have to know like if it's good or not? There's you know, at some point, like that conversation, like that's what the you know, I feel like being in the zone is like you just you don't have that conversation and you're in the zone, you're kind of just like it doesn't feel right, you move. It doesn't feel good, you move the other way. If feels good, you keep going towards that, you know, path.
SPEAKER_01And I love it too. If I keep finding myself in the same situation over and over again, it's like, well, let's talk about, let's think about it. Why do I keep getting triangled? Or why do I keep getting armbarred? What am I doing that's making myself more susceptible? And how am I gonna address it if I don't want to keep getting stuck here?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And maybe the only way to address it is to just get in triangle. Did you say triangles? Get in triangles and then learn and then learn how to get up. Yeah. You know, that's you know, that's sometimes like that's why I love positional training too. Like if I if I I mean, I actually really love that. If I could do more of that, I would do more of that, more positional training.
SPEAKER_01I like, yes, I like I like the repetition and I like having such emphasis on something so speci. I mean, positional is a position for a reason, but it's nice to get to the meat of it. Like some yes, there's a takedown, yours is a something, and then I end up inside control. So let's just cut start right there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So you talk about your experiences working in jujitsu, but you talked about being on a women's wrestling team and then also having to wrestle with like teenage boys. What what is Vinny your experience in jujitsu as a female? Have you been do you prefer male training partners or female? Is it whoever's in front of you?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01What do you think?
SPEAKER_00That's a good question. I prefer honestly, I prefer someone like who knows how to control their body. You know, whether it's male or female, like right now, I I would like to train with just females, you know, and high-level females. Because I feel like if I'm gonna, if I'm getting ready for competition, that's the feel that I wanna, that's that's what I wanna practice. If I'm just having fun and I'm training, you know, going to practice, don't have a goal in mind, I don't mind training with guys. Like it's fun, you know, you get to go as hard as you can, and some guys like they'll respect that and they'll be technical and you know, strong at the same time, but they'll keep you safe. But I like training with people who like like are like like Nick, like I love training with Nick. I I love I'll keep bringing him up. I love training with Nick because he is so technical and he just moves so fluidly, and then he lets you work at the same time. So it's it does feel like you're playing chess, it doesn't feel like I'm getting thrown or it for wrestling. It felt like that. For wrestling, when I didn't know wrestling, trying to learn it with guys is difficult because they're not there. Some guys aren't patient, and some and especially in like the professional athletic world, like they're not there to like teach you, you know. Like the coaches are to teach you. So if you're trying to be a partner or a training partner, you're supposed to be like on that same level, and sometimes that would feel chaotic, and especially in MMA too. But for jujitsu, I like training, I like training now with like high-level women. I I think it's like the sport is taken like there's so many high-level women out there, and it's just it's so great to be able to like see how their body moves in comparison to like a guy because it's their bodies move differently.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, well, and then it may make sense if you have a competition mindset and sharp like yeah, and eyes on the prize, it would make sense to go against bodies that are similar. Exactly. Yeah, like I've worked with guys that are 70, 80 pounds heavier than me, they get in the mouth and just like flop down, and then he lay there for four and a half minutes.
SPEAKER_00You're like, it's not realistic. Like if you're to go for a competition, I mean he's not he's doing you a dissfavor, you know. Like, did I say that? Disfavor? No, he's well, I would disservice. Disservice, thank you. My brain. Yeah, he's doing you a disservice just laying there. Like he's and if he's not doing anything, he's just laying there, he's not working on anything. I mean, that gets me even more mad because it's like, what point are you trying to prove? Like that you're heavier, that you're stronger. Like, go for a move, like be technical about it. Like, if you can be on her your on you, you know, like lay you flat, well then do something else. You know, like make it make it fun for both of you guys. Right.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_01And and that's the thing, because Now time has been wasted. As we talk about being technical, I don't totally don't mind. You try to do something, then do something.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. Yeah. But just lying there and it's just like I'm not learning anything, you're not learning anything. Whatever.
SPEAKER_01So jujutsu and wrestling can be kind of there's such close contact. I know a lot of women can shy away from something that can be, I don't want to say intimate, but like some people just hygienic, they're nervous about being as close to people. Yeah. Or they're sweating on each other or just intimidated. What would you tell a woman that was intimidated by the physicality of both of the grappling arts, both wrestling and jujitsu?
SPEAKER_00That's a good question. I would say if they were intimidated by the grappling arts, like just being in close contact with people.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and the physicality of it. Whether I guess there's a quote-unquote strong piece that you need, but I oftentimes hear more about women and worrying about like the closeness of it.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Well, I I I think I would come from it as like uh self-defense. Like it's important to be able to defend yourself. And it's important to know what to do when you come in close contact. And I feel like the more you practice that in class, the more you'll feel comfortable, you know, and the more you'll feel more confident, like being out in public and you see like some sketchy dude, you know. Like I'm always like, try me, you know? Like I see someone like try me, you know, like I'm ready to like unleash. But um, no, I would just say it's sometimes it I feel like jujitsu in wrestling is looked at intensely, but I would always recommend like going to a woman's class, you know. Like I feel like if a woman is too scared or a little anxious about going with a guy, bring her to a woman woman's only like open mat or women's only like class. I feel like that's the best introduction. And then if they like it and they understand how to move their body and they like the physicality of it, then they can go to you know class where it's like all genders. But it's I feel like when when women train with other women, it's fun. It's like less, I mean, it can be intense, but like it's not as scary as training with guys.
SPEAKER_01My daughter, she's learning to drive, and so she's been behind the wheel. We're like practicing driving on side streets, we're not ready for freeways yet, but you know, you can see how she just gets kind of anxious as she gets behind the wheel. And life has taught me everything feels weird in the beginning. And I told her it's gonna keep feeling weird, but you just need time behind the wheel. And eventually one day it's not weird. I've been driving, you know, for over three decades, or almost three decades. And so once it was brand new for me, and then I got used to it. And as you said, like starting off in an environment that might feel a little safer, a women's only class is a great introduction. Also, maybe even starting with ghee first, because there are just I feel wrapped in so many different layers between sports bra, rash guard, ghee top, you know, compression shorts or leggings. There's a lot of clothing involved.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so you're like in terms of uh not feeling so exposed, just doing no ghi first. Yeah. Well, because yeah, you could see that each other.
SPEAKER_01Go what? And people like jumping on each other. Sometimes you find yourself, we were even doing as a warm-up, it was like you someone's on your back, you do you hip out, and then they climb up, reposition. So you look like teddy bears because one is wrapped around the other.
SPEAKER_00And ghe or no ghee? Ghee. And ghee, okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So it's a it took a while for that to feel very normal, but after a while, it's just somebody else seat building you, tipping you over. It just takes time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it just takes time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And I think it depends on the lens and what's in which you look at it. Like maybe like if I know the intent and why that I'm learning, just as you said, if I'm learning for self-defense, it doesn't necessarily feel as weird because it's not just, oh, he's hugging me or have his arm around me. It's I'm defending a choke or I'm a- And there's a purpose to it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It's not just, yeah, not just like getting strangled for no reason like, oh, this is could be a very important life lesson. Hopefully, you know, it never happens, but it, you know, you could use it sometime in the, you know, whatever if you were ever to get attacked or something.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00But yeah.
SPEAKER_01I always worry about, well, I think it's working with my students, we talk about being afraid. And some of my little people will always say, like, oh, I'm never afraid. Like, I'm afraid of a tiger. If I were walking down the street and a tiger was walking, I would not try to pet him because I would be scared. It's okay to understand like a situational awareness. I think what jujitsu has given me too is like a little bit of understanding of like body mechanics is more than what most people know. And I think like a little bit would go the long way.
SPEAKER_00I agree, yeah. I I mean, yeah, learning how to like move appropriately could, yeah, could go a long way. And also like the the being, I like that you know, you said like the or the little kids that I'm never scared. I feel like being scared is okay. I mean, how else are you gonna know when to protect yourself or when to do something? Like, you need that feeling to make sense of the world, you know? So it's okay to be scared, you know, you just gotta do it.
SPEAKER_01That was me. I went to a women's seminar workshop on Sunday, and I was really scared to go by myself. Like, that was scary. Like, are people gonna be nice to me? But I knew it was for a better reason. And I went and I had a wonderful time.
SPEAKER_00So oh, that's amazing! Yeah, it is scary, it's scary showing up to practice by yourself, and it's scary showing up to like, even though it's women, it's scary because like you said, or not you didn't say, but like some women can be very intense. And when you said, like, who do you like to train with more? It's it's hard because I now that I have so many years in jiu-jitsu, I have in my mind training partners that are my go-tos, you know. But when you don't have training partners that are that aren't your go-tos, there's some people that are just intense and that they'll go super hard and the and like women can be caddy, you know? So if you don't understand each other, like if you don't know each other, I mean, yeah, women can be very caddy and it can be scary, you know, and then maybe that's why sometimes I prefer going with a guy versus you know some girl, because I'll know with the guy, like it'll be less caddy and more technical, you know, or more like about jujitsu and not about like I don't know, it's just a different, it's different sometimes. But also uh that's why I also like working with women who are um who are professional like professional athletes, you know, like in jiu-jitsu, you know, trying to do competitions because it's a very different mindset than someone who's a hobbyist kind of thing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I they um at class last night they had some people that were going to compete. And so the professor had two of the white belts, like go for a match. So they each picked a coach that was gonna be in their corner. It was like we were just Oh, very cool. I love that simulation. That's it was so cool, and they just came out of the gates mauling each other. The first 30 seconds, it was just like clashing the titans, and then everybody like they kind of calmed down. But to really get in that mindset, their role was so intense. They did amazing. It was so such an exciting match to watch, but that is so different than just let's get some roles in at the end of the class.
SPEAKER_00It's a different mentality. I mean, that's and it's also I'll also tell people who are like afraid to go to jujitsu. It's like now it's okay to communicate like how you want to roll, you know. Like if you're gonna roll with someone and you don't really know them and your goal is just to get the the technique in class down, then you can say, like during my live session, I just want to go over the technique. You know, like it's okay to be very specific with how you want to do your roles. If you're getting ready for, you know, a tournament, it's okay to be like, okay, let's go 100%. Like I want to get like a real feel. Like I want you to, if you're gonna choke me, like I want to see how it feels for you to go 100%. If you're just if your body hurts, like it's okay to be like, hey, my body hurts today. Like, can we just flow roll? You know? And I and I think that's what people don't understand too, that like you can go to class and it's not like very, it's not very authoritative, you know, where you have to be like gotta sit and be quiet. Like it could be chill and you could communicate, you know, how you're feeling that day and roll according to how you're feeling that day.
SPEAKER_01I found myself, I would say fairly early on, but I was probably six, seven months in, and I went to an open mat. And there was a guy I I had reservations about working with him, and I went for it, and it was a rougher role. I felt like there was less control than I wanted. What I should like hindsight is 2020, right? What I should have done is right when I started to feel the wheels fall off, I should have just tapped and be like, I'm done, and like just called it.
SPEAKER_00No, I agree. I feel like you can know someone, like the intensity someone wants to go as soon as they put grips on you. You know, as soon as they grip you and it's like super tight and then they're like stiff and they're moving you. Sometimes I'm like, okay, I'm just I'm not going that hard, you know? Like I'm I'm here to go just like 50, 50, you know, or just you know. But it's it's true. Like I feel like when you're when you're just beginning, you don't have you don't know that you can speak up and say, like, hey, I don't want it to feel like this, you know? You could like you said, like you you could just be like, you could have tapped and it could have been like over. Like it didn't have to, you didn't have to prolong it. Right.
SPEAKER_01And and now I always say I tap early, I tap often, all those things. And then as I feel comfortable with people, it does me it serves me well to extend that a little bit. So working with you, I know that you're not going to rip something, and so I can allow myself a little bit more before I get there.
SPEAKER_00I think, and that's why I feel like sometimes it's good going with like higher belts because they should know how to move, you know, and they shouldn't, they should, and then if you roll with a lower belt, like you get yourself in the like bad positions so that you both can work, you know. They the lower belt can work, you can work how to get out of it. Like no one knows everything, you know, not even like maybe maybe one black belt out there knows everything, but everyone is always like still learning, you know, like jujitsu is always evolving.
SPEAKER_01I love one of my favorite things is going to class, and when I see the purples, the browns, the black belts that even attend class, they are listening and focused just as much as like the white belt. So, white belt, this might be the first time they've heard it, but since jujitsu is so cyclical, they could have been here heard this, you know, 20, 30, 40 times in instruction over the last couple of years. But I think knowing there's just a slight difference on how the instructor either says it or another insight, it's really cool to see how everyone still listens. It's not just like check mark, I know how to do spider garden. I don't need to get any better at it. You know, there's always a nuance.
SPEAKER_00Like how you said, like the attention to details, like the higher up you get, you understand that the details are important, like the grip, how you grip, how you move, the off balance, like everything. And that's and it's cool, like when you're sitting around and the coaches, you know, showing the move. Sometimes I'm like when someone asks a question, I'm like, that's a really good question. That like their years of experience like lets them see, like, you know, a different perspective than what I was saying, you know, from wherever I was sitting. But I love like hearing people's questions. I'm always just like, oh man, that's a really good question.
SPEAKER_01And sometimes it's just like the silliest things I just never thought of. Like we were talking about pulling guard, and I used to just sit straight back because that's just what I thought you did. And they were really focusing on like twisting to the side as you fall, and it just like breaks posture. I'm like, I guess I I had never even thought about that, and it's really changed the game.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's great. It's crazy. Like, the more you're in jiu-jitsu, the more like you you you know what kind of not that every not that there's like dumb questions, but you know the kind of questions to ask. You know, they become more specific to like, like you said, like your guard, your top game, your anything.
SPEAKER_01It drives me crazy because I want to like the more you get into it, the more you want to attend. And yeah, it's like if I miss class, what little nuggets of information are they gonna talk about that I could benefit from? And it's really I know.
SPEAKER_00I just want to hear all the answers. Same. I'm just like, Nick, please record all your classes. I wanna like be present because I'm in Nevada now. I don't know if you know that I moved to Nevada.
SPEAKER_01I heard a real I not everywhere. I heard like they're like, did they move?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so we moved, but I just I wish Nick would record his classes. But also when you when you can't go to class, I'm always a big advocate on watching film and just watching technique because it's like not all not the same thing, but like I've I do believe that if you're replicating it in your brain, you're it's like you're doing it in real life, and you know, sometimes you'll see a move online and you'll hit it in practice, and you're like, where did that come from? I just saw it like two days ago.
SPEAKER_01Do you uh now is this a permanent move? Are you gonna is it a temporary thing? Do we get to that?
SPEAKER_00Uh my husband is working at this gym called the Q. So he's an MMA coach. Um, and he's coaching UFC fighters and other athletes who want to get into the UFC and high-level athletes, so they're all high-level. Very personal. That's amazing. Yeah. So it's just until it was a it's a six-month trial, but I'm have a feeling that we're liking it, and or he's liking it, I'm liking it. So it might it might be permanent, it might be for longer than six months. So I've yeah, I I don't think I'll be back anytime soon. I mean to visit, but not like permanently.
SPEAKER_01Well, and that's that's life, right? There's so many, and you get to meet people all the way. Look at you, girl. You're like in Coachella and then UCI and then Viola and then Canada.
SPEAKER_00And then I was in Mexico for a little bit. I was I was in a lot of places.
SPEAKER_01You're gonna you need one of the maps, like all the different places you can.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was different places. They're not as many as like, yeah, but yeah, I have lived in quite a different few places. That's why I told my husband, like, I'm so bad at decorating because uh every place I've been to, I always I knew that I was gonna have to move eventually. So then what's the point of decorating? But now that we're here and I have a baby boy, and I'm like, okay, I need to get better at decorating and making things look pretty and having him see pictures of my family and stuff.
SPEAKER_01Well, seasons. You're spending time with him. So it's exactly the art.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's that's so exciting, and what a journey that you've had through the sport. And I love the line that it's jujitsu's been there. It's been in high school and college and competing and high-level competition, and then through motherhood and then postpartum, and then yeah. And then black belt in your future.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, yeah. I mean, uh yeah, that's yeah. I mean, that would be really awesome. That would be cool. Yeah, I would I would love to be a black belt. I've I am always like, uh, I took a year off because my pregnancy wasn't the best. So in my mind, I'm like, I have a lot of catching up to do again. But um, yeah, black belt would be amazing.
SPEAKER_01The beauty of Jujitta to me is that it's like a whole body thing, it's like a mindset thing, it's a reaction thing, it's a muscle memory thing. It is a strength thing. They're like, you can't get away from the fact that if we are stronger, then we're gonna be better at it. But it's a little bit of everything. And to say that a year away was tricky, it's not like starting over from ground zero.
SPEAKER_00True, it's not like I everything got erased. Yeah, you're right. I still there's a little, there's a lot of there's still a lot of things that I remember. But yeah, I'm slowly like building up strength, slowly building up my footwork, strengthening my pelvic floor, you know, like all that good stuff.
SPEAKER_01And then you'll come back stronger than ever because labor is no joke, and just the going through the all of that, it really makes a difference in your endurance too.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, labor is yeah, no joke. Yeah, I did I had a home birth, which was amazing. So it was yeah, I was yeah, I can only say, yeah, like you're saying, no joke, because I was very, very intense feeling and very present, and it was amazing. I loved labor.
SPEAKER_01Well, and it sounds like everything you've done in your life, you've gotten headfirst into it, but with like whole heart as best you can.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm a I'm a 100 like I live at extremes, which is something that like sometimes my husband has to be like, Whoa, like you don't have to be so extreme about this. Like, it's okay to half-ass it, you know? And I I hate half-assing things. Like, if it's not gonna be perfect, I'd rather not start it, which is like a bad mentality, you know. Like, I'm one of those people that even though I'm not like type A have everything organized, I know like my piles, I know where all my piles are, you know. Like I everything is the way it is, and I like it like that. So it's I'm very I'm a very extreme person. But motherhood, like it's hard to be extreme, you know? Like you get into this season of motherhood and everything becomes fragmented, you know, like I've been I start something and then I can't finish it because the baby needs me and I have to come back and do it. I do this and I can't, you know, like you're always like it's it's a crazy experience, but also like having coach Nick as a mentor, like definitely have learned not to be so extreme as well. And to have fun, like doing jujitsu, you know, there's like I have so much joy when I roll and when I'm you know, and now when I competed last year or two years ago, like I had a lot of joy back then, which is something I didn't really have necessarily like in my previous like athletic career.
SPEAKER_01Ever evolving.
SPEAKER_00I love yeah, ever evolving, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, lovely wrap up. Thank you, Laura, so much for talking to me today. I learned so much about you. I'm so excited.
SPEAKER_00Well, thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. It we are the sum of all of our parts and really hearing about the wrestling and jujitsu piece, I've always looked at them as one or the other. I knew here and there I'll hear people dabble between the two, but I saw it more as a like, oh, can't do that. I guess wrestling has more specific rules that you would have to watch out for. Like, you don't necessarily want to be on your back as you would like to.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, if you're doing wrestling tournament, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, they can coexist together and they can be such great um compliments. I like I loved when Jesse was doing the wrestling for grapplers classes. I learned so much. I'm like, oh my gosh, I just have to koala myself around someone's leg and I can do a lot of damage to them. It's fun.
SPEAKER_00He my husband is like, he is something else. Like, yeah, yeah. His wrestling classes, like he he, when you say like wrestling can coexist with jujitsu, I don't know many people who can integrate them as beautifully as my husband can. And he really knows both of them very well because he was a very high-level athlete in wrestling, D1 wrestler, and now black belt in jujitsu. And obviously, it's like that experience and time on the mats, but I mean, he knows like if anybody knows how to integrate them, like he knows how to integrate them well. And I mean, that's why he got that job. Like, he's he's a great MMA coach, and yeah, but they they're very both very complimentary, and he does like show like amazing like wrestling takedowns from jujitsu. You're like, oh my god, I can do that, it makes things a lot easier.
SPEAKER_01It's like, oh, it's just that way, and then they make it look so easy, and you're like, wait a second, here.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it is just yeah, need a thousand more reps before it looks that easy.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yeah, 10,000 times is a good time.
SPEAKER_0010,000, yeah, 10,000 times.
SPEAKER_01Well, thank you again, Laura. And I know that you're not at my home gym anymore, but hopefully you'll come visit and yeah, I might be there two weeks.
SPEAKER_00So fun. Yeah, maybe I'll see you in two weeks.
SPEAKER_01Hooray, that would be wonderful.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. All right, thank you.
SPEAKER_01Okay, you're welcome. My shout-out this week goes to choosing your own adventure. Started with a jujitsu, add a couple layers in. Started standing up, decide to integrate your ground game. Amazing. Start off as a homebody, get out of the house. Start off someone that does everything and narrow down the possibilities. Really, we are the masters of what our future looks like, and it's endless and amazing, and so much is available for you out there, both on and off the mat. So thank you, Laura, so much for being on the show. I really appreciate her perspective and the drive that she brings to a sport. She really takes the things that she wants to do and elevates them to that amazing level. She said extreme, but I just love the passion that she brings. Sometimes we can take a word. I've said it before on the podcast before, like if I didn't like something, I might call it sour. But if I enjoy that, I might call it tart. We can name it all sorts of things. And if it helps us get to where we are supposed to be, more power to us. Why not? Why not try those things? Here on the podcast, we welcome all the different stories. Thank you for listening to Lores with me today. And hopefully, I'll see you on the mat soon. The possibilities are endless at the pajama party.