Allan&Eve: Marriage Is Not a Game
We are a Christian couple with a heart to see marriages restored and built to last. Our mission is simple: to help couples make it down the aisle and reduce divorce through honest, faith-based conversations. From singleness and dating to marriage, divorce, and remarriage, we’re tackling it all with biblical wisdom and real-life stories.
Allan&Eve: Marriage Is Not a Game
The Stepparent Dilemma Nobody Talks About (Step Up or Step Back?)
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Most people think blended families are supposed to “just work.”
They don’t.
In this episode, we break down the real struggles of being a stepparent—the part nobody prepares you for.
👉 When do you step up?
👉 When is it better to step back?
👉 Why does everything feel like you're doing it wrong?
Being a stepparent can feel like a no-win situation.
If you try too hard, you’re overstepping.
If you pull back, you don’t care.
This is the stepparent dilemma nobody talks about.
We dive into:
- Blended family challenges no one warns you about
- Coparenting conflicts and outside influence
- The emotional stress of step-parenting
- When stepping back protects your peace
- How to communicate with your partner effectively
This video is for:
✔️ Stepmoms and stepdads
✔️ People entering blended families
✔️ Couples dealing with co-parenting tension
✔️ Anyone feeling stuck between a child and a partner
We’re just telling the truth that people avoid.
💬 Comment your experience below—what did YOU do: step up or step back?
I mean you have to be understanding if this is damaging your partner in some way and you see all of their effort that they putting in trying to build a relationship with your child and that is not working out due to other, you know, outside people, or even maybe the child don't want to connect. That's okay too. Like I think that people should just be at peace instead of trying to force different relationships. You know? Forcing it don't help it. You can't force somebody to like you or love you. Like I'm not in this negative space over a child that is not biologically mine. You want to take on that role, but maybe you are as a step parent overstepping that. You don't have to go into it as like you're the biological parent. But some people go into it like that because they want the child to feel welcome. They want to show their best and do their, put their best foot forward. And then it becomes like, oh, they're overdoing it, so just step back. Alan Eve here to help you believe that marriage is not a game.
SPEAKER_03Talk to them. What up though, everybody? Welcome to the Alan Eve Podcast. Here we go, y'all. Um, with my beautiful wife, man. I love you. I love you.
SPEAKER_02I love you so much. I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_03Um before I um before I get started, to our um current or reoccurring listeners. Reoccurring? Yeah, exactly. Reoccurrent listeners, have you noticed that my face to shave? I made a mistake. Well, cutting my hair made a mistake. I'm cutting my beard off. You know my wife.
SPEAKER_00Do you feel like you owed them an explanation for that?
SPEAKER_03Or somewhat, yeah. Why?
SPEAKER_00I mean, you could switch up. Yeah. Ain't nobody told. Look, hey. They might say, What was going on with Al over there?
SPEAKER_02For some reason, I'd be the one be getting playing.
SPEAKER_03Nah, right, right.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you know. Sometimes I do right.
SPEAKER_03Sometimes I do that.
SPEAKER_02He got stressed out. She made his beard hair fall off. Come on, y'all.
SPEAKER_03But my wife hates me cutting my beard. Sometimes I just feel like switching it.
SPEAKER_00Hate is a strong word. I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Dislike.
SPEAKER_00I wouldn't say dislike. I just prefer. I would say prefer a beer. Yeah. I wouldn't say hate and like no.
SPEAKER_03Changed it up a little bit. Dad's dad's one on it. I wasn't.
SPEAKER_00I'm going to file some papers because I felt some type of way about the beard. That was like an agreement between us. Okay. Right.
SPEAKER_03But we're getting starting on the blended family type of thing. Step parents. Dilemma. No.
SPEAKER_00Well, can I like go ahead? I just want to explain to them why we're always talking about blended families. Because we want more people to be aware. It's not that we are against blended families. We are a blended family ourselves, but we do want to make other people aware who are, you know, maybe single or thinking about getting into a blended family, you know, possibilities and just having a conversation of what may or may not happen. We're not saying this is a guarantee that this is going to happen to you. Beware, but this is something that is a possibility that could happen. Because we all go into a thinking that everything is gonna be roses and peaches and butterflies and rainbows, and nothing is gonna happen, everything is gonna work out, and then you set yourself up for uh disappointment when things start arising within the blended family dynamic that nobody ever talked about or even considered. So that's why we talk about it.
SPEAKER_03Right, right. So this video is about emotion position step parents are put in. If you are trying to love God and build a relationship with the child, that's not yours, that's a stepchild. It can seem like you're overstepping. But if you pull back and leave more space for the biological parent, it can look like rejection or favoritism. Right. So many step parents are forced to make a painful choice and blend the family. Either step forward or step back. This is what this video is about. Two choices when you being a step parent. My wife is a step parent. I'm a step parent. My wife is step parent is niche is different than mine. Definitely different.
SPEAKER_00Oh, it's definitely different because one head to step up and one head to step back. So I'm just saying it's not it's not pleasant, you know.
SPEAKER_03So this is our step-parent video. We're talking about a lot of people, or some people, and I said no, some people might not agree with this video. Right. It's okay. Y'all might have a different experience than we have.
SPEAKER_00But that don't mean we're not gonna talk about our experience or warn other people. I don't know why people like and I'm okay with people disagreeing with us because they have a pleasant experience. But what about all of these other people out here that their experience is not pleasant and nobody wants to talk about this? So we're happy for you that that is not your experience. We don't want anyone to experience this. This is why we talk about it, right?
SPEAKER_03So, of course, stepparents reunite. If you got a similar story or something going on, just leave it in the comments. Uh, let us know. We would like to hear it.
SPEAKER_00All right, but let's get into the video. Um, which one do you want to know? Okay, I talk about sometimes it can appear that when you treat your stepchild like your own children, you know, that may appear like you're overstepping, they're trying to be the biological parent, you know. The other biological parent that's outside the house wanna have full control and they feel uncomfortable with somebody calling, you know, their child calling somebody mom or dad. And you can respect that to a certain extent, but if it doesn't work for your household, then you know the other biological parent just gonna have to feel how they feel. Right in our situation, I didn't really too much care. Like I didn't care what she called me, you know. We did try, I think she began to call me mom because of the other kids, you know what I mean? It was just a natural thing, and then outside of the house, people was telling her I'm you know, other things that cause somehow caused some confusion in the seven, six-year-old, six-year-old, seven-year-old. I doubt that she was confused, but people was so in confusion there. So, and it was fine. Like when she brings that back here and she would said that she was confused. I'm just like, just call me, you know, I don't want to say call me whatever, but she had came up with a nickname for me, you know. So in those situations, it's almost like, okay, are you stepping up or are you stepping back from the situation? In that situation, when it starts going down that road where it's always constantly something wrong with what you're doing as the step parent, you're overstepping your boundaries, or somebody else outside the house feel uncomfortable about something. I think it is for that person's mental health best to step back because you're so focused on oh, and it is a sad place to be. But at the same time, if you have your own children, you're taking the focus off of your children, and maybe they're doing good in school. Maybe you know it's something to celebrate with them, but you too busy, you know, focusing on the negativity of this step parent situation. You know what I mean? So, and it's not healthy for people mentally at times. So, if that's the case, if you're being affected mentally, I would suggest just stepping back, and that's okay. It doesn't take away love, it doesn't because either way, somebody might be in some type of way. If you continue to move forward, they like overstepping boundary, and it's gonna always maybe constantly be an issue, right?
SPEAKER_03Because you don't want to keep fighting against no because with the obvious is going on. Yeah, people don't want your opinion, they don't want you involved in this area. So it's best for you step parents out there experience this to step back, let it flow and let it go.
SPEAKER_00You know, it's okay to step back, it's okay to step back, but in that step back, it's going to appear a certain type of way. So you're stepping back, and then you know, somebody is gonna say, You treating it, now they treating them differently, but all you did was step back and focus on your own children. You're not treating nobody differently, but it's not much because it's almost like you limit it to what you could do and say, so somebody might not want to do or say anything at that point. It's either you all in, because who wanna be halfway in, halfway out, walking on eggshells about what they can and cannot say. How can you live that way? Right, right. But in what situation would you say step up? Um or you know, move forward, step forward.
SPEAKER_03Um before I answer, I just want to say that of course this is clearly for the people who have both parties have children. Because, you know, the next uh thing is when you step, when you involve, when you step back and focus on your own children, that could be an issue. Yeah, but just want to make that clear so people understand this video is talking about the both parties having children. Sometimes I forget to say things in the video and it might seem some no talking about. But I'm sorry. Ask me a question again.
SPEAKER_00No, so I can just say, like, for you, it was more so to move forward, to step forward, because we didn't really have too many issues on my end, right? You know, with you and my children's relationship. Like, you all have an amazing relationship. If all like if our whole dynamic was like that, I would be so for a blended family, like, yeah, I'll be just like those people to come. It's like I disagree with this. How can you say this about a blended family? This is so terrible, you know. But reality is there's so many people out there that are in um a situation where maybe if you are you feel like you have to fight, I have to fight for this child, I have to be in their relationship, I have to show them that I care about them, I want to make them feel welcome. I want to, and I understand that feeling. I understand that you're trying to fight for your dynamic, but if you've never taken a step back, try that. Just take a little baby steps back. Is it again? It's not you um taking away love from the child or something like that. When you have that mindset, of course, you wouldn't want to step back, but it may be healthy to step back in those situations if it's causing more drama, confusion, and division.
SPEAKER_03Well, only time I would say step forward, of course, if you're excuse me, if you come in, came in the relationship and it seems like maybe your partner says it seems like you're showing favoritism or something like that, maybe, and the child is welcoming you in, maybe, yeah. Step a little forward, take your baby steps. I know maybe because sometimes people have past relationships and they'd be like, I did that, didn't work. Maybe try this a little bit of baby steps one inch at a time and see what happens. But to the outside world, when you do that step back in the beginning, just off the jump, it might look like okay, favoritism. And sometimes people in the outside world, they could just say whatever they're doing. Either way, the little either way, stepping back.
SPEAKER_00Stepping back or stepping forward is y'all might have a conversation right.
SPEAKER_03If your partner say, Hey, you know, maybe not bring up like, hey, you showing favoritism, like, hey, let's let's let's get involved, let's do something together. Like, I would never like try to come to you like accuse you like this favoritism, something because once you accuse somebody, they're getting defensive. It's like that's not the right thing to go about. Just like just start involving and like, hey, let's go hang out, do this, do that, something like that. But sometimes people get hurt with the whole idea of blended families that they like, as soon as I get in a relationship again, I'm not getting involved with this child at all. I'm not gonna know the baby mama, I'm not gonna know child like that. We ain't never gonna have a relationship because I see where this can go. Like they could just mess things up, so yeah.
SPEAKER_00That and people just need to be aware that you may not have that close relationship with your stepchild as you want because of outside people or the other biological family or whatever is going on on the outside world, you know, the outside entity that have they say so, you know, and then it's not always them. Maybe the person, maybe the child is wish-washy, right? Saying one thing to you, saying another thing to them, that can happen. And so the biological parent, like, you don't have to do this if you don't want to, and then they coming back making it seem like something totally different, and now it's confusion because kiddish games or whatever's going on with that child, why they going back and forth like that, which is unfortunately the parents don't talk, so now nobody really knows what's going on. They just depending on the word from the child, which don't doesn't work out, right?
SPEAKER_03But if you're in this situation as a step parent, just I think uh have a better understanding with your partner what to do, or explain to them, let them know what's going on. Hey, I'm feeling like I'ma just step back, or I feel like I should I'm uh I get involved with your child more.
SPEAKER_00But what do you do when they feel like you don't need to? Like if somebody says I want to step back and somebody else got a problem with that, like I don't want you to step back. What you stepping back for? Like, you know, in this conflict now in the marriage because they don't understand why you stepping forward or stepping back, and they're not respecting that's what you want to do. What do you do then?
SPEAKER_03You have multiple choices, but to start with the first choice is is bring up evidence that you have that this happened. Now, if they can't see the evidence, then you be like, for my mental state. Now you start recording stuff like you say that you say that I told you that happened to push me away. I told you that would happen, and then it's just like we have to be on the same page, so we have to figure out how to communicate, how to get along, and how to understand, or just let somebody know for my mental state, I can't do it like that. I can't be around your child without feeling numb or something, without going to the precious thing.
SPEAKER_02The reason why I'm laughing is because I'm thinking about what that guy said.
SPEAKER_00When he said, put on the whole armor of God, it's like you just take that abuse, you take whatever you're going through, whatever mental problems you're going through. It's just keep right, like just keep taking it. It's like I don't think get in there like when he said that, that's that was that was hilarious.
SPEAKER_03Sorry. Um, I don't know, I say ignorant. Let's go with ignorance, yeah. Ignorance, but yeah, have a y'all need to have definitely conversations about everything, anything, every little thing you feel, just have a conversation with your spouse. Don't just take it and be like, hmm, maybe I'm tripping, it's not that big of a deal.
SPEAKER_02Just you don't know what your partner might say, and don't just talk about it when y'all drink or something. Like when y'all have a little drink and now you cry talking about stuff that right now, your spouse over there depressed because your conversation, it is hilarious.
SPEAKER_03That is hilarious, or when y'all get into arguments, okay. When y'all disagree, about to have a whole blown fight. Now you want to bring up this is what I'm stepping away from your child, or don't want to be near your child because that's the wrong time, right?
SPEAKER_00The wrong time to I mean, because you're speaking out of anger from that point, anger, frustration, or wherever you are, that is totally inappropriate.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so as a step parent, like you said before, you have these two choices that you have to think about. Some of y'all might think of other options or choices or whatever. Tell me another option. These are the main choices. This is the main.
SPEAKER_00I mean, if somebody has some other advice or some other step or option, please put it down in the comments. Comment. What did you do? If you did something differently, let us know. We need to be a community. We a community of blended families.
SPEAKER_03And you know, let's put it out there.
SPEAKER_00I don't know why everybody likes to hide their situation. Everything look at this blind family. We all doing good here. And reality, it's not all good. But everybody likes to play that that role.
SPEAKER_03And again, it's hot in here by the cow.
SPEAKER_00Take your jacket off.
SPEAKER_03Hiding there, Lord. Oh, right. So uh we definitely um just need to be aware as a thank you, thank you, thank you.
SPEAKER_00As aware as a oh, the other is on too.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, yeah. All these different heat blasts over here. I like my jacket on, look cool.
SPEAKER_02Okay, well, I'm gonna turn it back on the the moment I started feeling a little breeze. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_03Um definitely have um know your partner too. Because you don't want to start thinking this that your partner is even showing favoritism. Right. That could put a damper in your relationship as well, that you're looking at your partner sideways for even stepping back. Oh well, in that position, stepping back or stepping forward.
SPEAKER_00You're not the one in the position. I mean, you have to be understanding if this is damaging your partner in some way and you see all of their effort that they putting in trying to build a relationship with your child, and that is not working out due to other, you know, outside people, or even maybe the child don't want to connect. That's okay too. Like, I think that people should just be at peace instead of trying to force different relationships, right? You know, no, no, forcing it don't help it. You can't force somebody to like you or love you.
SPEAKER_03No, you can't, but just being understanding about this whole situation, right? Especially you hearing your partner breaking down and confessing to you about the whole situation, right? I'm not out to be mean to your child, but I see certain things that doesn't seem right to me.
SPEAKER_02Very questionable.
SPEAKER_03Questionable, that's right, questionable. And I think it's safe or just like, hey, you know, should you you might feel bad about stepping back for a moment, you might be able to do that.
SPEAKER_00You might you might feel you know when you start focusing on your own children, you're like, this feels a lot better. Like, I'm not in this negative space over a child that is not biologically mine. You want to take on that role, but maybe you are as a step parent overstepping that. You don't have to go into it as like you're the biological parent. But some people go into it like that because they want the child to feel welcome, right? They want to show their best and do their put their best foot forward, and then it becomes like, oh, they're overdoing it, so just step back.
SPEAKER_03So some kids might be hurt by the divorce or hurt by the split, and they got a hidden agenda. And you just in the cross, you just in the crossway of their hidden agenda that they like, I hate you because my parents broke up. They put it back on, got that heat on, don't you?
SPEAKER_02Not a step here, like, your mama was on. She's like her in these streets.
SPEAKER_00That's all they need to get.
SPEAKER_03That's why I don't think you should be saying that. Right, right. Not to the child, not to the child.
SPEAKER_00I don't know, somebody out there saying this. No, right. You know, somebody has no feel free.
SPEAKER_03You are the victim towards um the child feeling some type of way because their parents are not together.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_03Then you gotta make that. Then you gotta make it tough decision. Y'all need to get one. Should I continue this relationship stepping forward? Or should I just be like therapy?
SPEAKER_00Just go to therapy before you go to therapy before you even think about or talk to somebody, have your child talk to somebody to help them navigate, you know, the divorce or the separation before you even try to add somebody else. Why are we constantly adding other people in your whole situation with your baby mama, baby daddy, ex-husband, ex-wife not even together? Your child is suffering, y'all confusing the child, the child think y'all together, y'all not together, y'all add more people in the mix. Y'all need to work that out first before you start adding somebody else into the mix because that's very unfair to that other person.
SPEAKER_03So, what are the negative things of being involved or stepping forward?
SPEAKER_00Stepping forward, you putting in all of your hard effort and work, plan and stuff. You may plan a day where you do the your daughter's nails and toes, and then you know, your stepdaughter, we'll just say daughter, because I don't think you paint your stepson's nails. But you know, you know, you plan something and you want them to be involved. You want them next thing you know, it was a problem with polishing their nails, right? It was a problem with because that's doing hair, doing hair, taking them to the movies, right? Picking up clothes, outfits. I mean, when you get to the point where it's every single solitary thing that you're doing is just wrong to the other parent or outside sources, entities, just remove yourself, let them do it all. Let them, if they child, if you leave your child, let your child come up here with their hair, it'll just still be looking like that. Because it's a problem when I do it. It's a problem when I paint nails. Now all of a sudden they're biting their toes and stuff. Like they biting their toenails. Nobody ever seen them bite their toenails, but for some reason, when that time you painted their toenails, they start biting it, you know. So I mean just coming up with stuff that's just come on now. When they get to that point where people have to make up lies and you know, doing all of that, just step back and let that be what it is. Because at that point, when you step back, you can't really get blamed for nothing at that point. Because all of that stuff you was getting blamed for, the child was like this because of that, or the child is coming over and they said this and that. You didn't step back. You don't even have nothing to do with it. But for some reason, you probably still will get blamed for something, even with stepping back. So I'm just telling people.
SPEAKER_03So what is the risk of stepping back? The risk. Right.
SPEAKER_00What is some of the risk of stepping back? I mean, the risk is still being blamed. You know, not having much of a relationship with your stepchild. That's a risk. Because you didn't step back and you're not really, you know, trying to exactly you're not really building a relationship with them.
SPEAKER_03That's a risk. It might, it might um put in detention, but that's not the word. I'm thinking of a word I can't tension, but it was another word. But put in but tension between you and your spouse. All right. That could be another risk of stepping back.
SPEAKER_02Okay, well, they didn't just be tension.
SPEAKER_03Well, some other risk, but it'll just be some tension. Stepping back from your step or distancing yourself from your stepchild.
SPEAKER_00I think that's that's about it. I mean, I think the biggest thing is too, like, it may damage your marriage in a certain way because again, they may not want you to step back. They may say, We gotta keep fighting, we gotta keep fighting when you don't only want to be affected by the fight, like you getting beat up, and they over there like everything good, we just doing good, you know, and they're not in your shoes, they're not experiencing and going through what you're going through. So once you step back again, it may be damaging to the marriage and damaging to the relationship with the child.
SPEAKER_03And the child might hate you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. The child probably hated you from the beginning anyway. So it does not even really matter at this point. This is why I said you need to y'all need to be getting therapy for that child. If the child is walking around hating people at a young age, you need to have therapy for that child.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Because your children shouldn't have hate in their heart at a young age walking around hating people. That that's just abnormal. That shouldn't be. So, why would you want to bring somebody in to your life if you know your child is going through whatever, if you want to call the mental, emotional, physical, whatever type of issue that they're going through, don't add somebody else to that.
SPEAKER_03Um, so what is another risk I would say is never being truly a family dynamic? Because going out the family vacation, if that partner says I'm I'm stepping back, I'm I'm not including myself. I don't want to be involved when your child is there.
SPEAKER_01Wait, I'm just laughing at you. I'm laughing because it's not gonna realistically go like that. It'd be like that child just ain't like I don't know what you're talking about. Like, I guess your child ain't gonna be good, you know. No, it is somebody out there to say that though.
SPEAKER_03But I get what you're saying, secret time when the child not there, then let's go now.
SPEAKER_00Like planning a vacation when the child is not there because that could also be a thing wanna be or not watching the child because once you stop step back, stepping back, how is the child going to be over your house like that if you didn't step back and you and the the parent has to work, who gonna watch the job? You didn't step completely back, so you're not involved at all, and now the child don't come over like that because who's going to watch the child while the other parent is at work, right?
SPEAKER_03Because it's always a way, it's always something that you could get blamed. The step parent could be blamed for any injury, any the child not being fed, child maybe wanted some water, and then they was denied water because of the step parent or whatever the case may be.
SPEAKER_00Those are some dangerous accusations you can get your child, your children took off of like statements like that. So who are who's putting themselves in that position to lose their own kids? Like I'm fighting for this relationship between me and my stepchild. Now, DCFS or whoever then took all of the kids like off of something that wasn't true. No.
SPEAKER_03So these are some examples. Some we're talking about the two examples of stepping forward or stepping back.
SPEAKER_02We barely hit on stepping forward. We like step back, y'all. Get out of there, darling.
SPEAKER_03Uh but what would y'all do? Yeah. What would y'all do as a step parent? Please. Step parents. I shouldn't, we, you know, if you people, you don't you have you're not a parent, you can't comment, but we would like to hear from the step parents that's going through.
SPEAKER_00Okay, I I want to say something about stepping forward because we didn't really touch on that. Like I talked a lot about stepping back because that was my experience. That's what I had to do. But I think it's so wonderful when parents like step parents step up when it's a healthy environment there, when there is no outside entity that has some type of influence on the relationship that you all have. And stepping up is so many benefits to that because you know it's that it's that bond that you would want all of you all to have as a family, you know.
SPEAKER_03So they can see you truly love you.
SPEAKER_00Yes, correct. And it's so beautiful because you have that with my children, and you know, it's just so wonderful to see, you know. Like I would I would love for everyone to step forward and have that genuine, nothing was forced, there was nobody that from the outside that to come in and influence and say, Oh, that ain't your real daddy, or nobody ever did that. And if they tried to do it, you know what I mean? I would have had to be hands-on again. No, I'm just playing. But seriously, it is beautiful to see. So when people say, I have a beautiful story, I have a beautiful, I disagree. I understand that aspect of when people disagree when we talk about you know the the negative sides of being a blended family because we also have so many positive things on your side with you and my children, you know, it's it's beautiful, right?
SPEAKER_03Um, we appreciate y'all sticking around this long. We thank y'all so much for our blended people out, our step parents out there. Roo, roo, you know what I'm saying? We love y'all. We're praying for y'all. We're praying that y'all can that y'all could be a union together in y'all's merits, even though whatever the outside world may say, or whatever is going on with the children. We pay everything works out for y'all. Um, just you know, too. Let us know your experience again in the comments down below. Right. If this was helpful or you believe somebody needs to hear, or watch this video, watch, listen to this podcast, share it with them. That would help us um with the the um the growth of our channel. Okay, is there anything you want to add?
SPEAKER_00No, I just appreciate people. I appreciate all of the beautiful comments you all comment. You know, I'm not really on social media like that. I am okay. Why would you fart that loud like that?
SPEAKER_01I didn't think that was that loud. That was. Well, I'm sorry. And you looked at your leg up.
SPEAKER_03That's just you did.
SPEAKER_01You look like like couldn't nobody see you or hear you? Like, well, I wasn't gonna put that clip. No will's going in and I will be telling me. No, no, put it in there. No, put it in there.
SPEAKER_03It's gonna be the comment. You wanna be nasty? The camera was gonna be on you, not me.
SPEAKER_00Okay, well, they go okay, it was gonna be on you and not me. They still was gonna hear my comment. All right. You talking about excuse you. Now I gotta sit in here and smell it.
SPEAKER_03You ready to wrap this up? I thought we done. We got technical, difficult.
SPEAKER_00No, we already wrap it up.
SPEAKER_03All right. Love y'all, peace. Thank y'all so much for watching and joining us. Nope. Nope. We thank y'all so much.
SPEAKER_00Marriage is not a game.