When You’re Caught Between Your Child and Your Partner (what would you do?)

            Hey Believers, being caught in the middle of a conflict between your partner and your child is one of the most painful and challenging positions in a blended family. In this episode of the Allen and Eve Podcast, we dive deep into the difficult conversations around parenting, discipline, and the hierarchy of relationships within a marriage.

We explore the reality that while some blended families are "blessed" with a smooth transition, many others face unpredictable emotional hurdles and constant friction. If you feel pressured to choose a side, this conversation is for you.

Key Discussion Points

• The Relationship Hierarchy: Why we believe putting marriage first—right after God—is essential for a stable household.
•  The Discipline Divide: How to handle situations where one partner is seen as "too harsh" while the other is "too soft".
• Bonding Boundaries: What to do when a child refuses to connect with a step-parent and how to maintain respect in the home.
• Avoiding the "Choice" Trap: Why you should address your child's emotional needs or behavioral issues before entering a new marriage covenant.
• The Consequence of "Picking Sides": How constantly choosing the child over the spouse can lead to the eventual dissolution of the marriage.

Connect With Us

If you found this conversation helpful, please abuse that like button and subscribe to join the crew. We believe marriage is the key to families, and we are here to have the difficult conversations that help you navigate yours.

"Don't get into a covenant if you feel like you're going to choose your child."

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You and your child are about to get out at this point. If I'm sitting here, I'm serious. If I'm sitting here correcting some bad behavior and putting the child in the corner and they're crying and you come there getting them out the corner, you're gonna be doing this on your own. To protect somebody. It ain't trying to protect them. That is not helping the situation because you're teaching that child to disregard and disrespect me. Right. The person that's like, you don't have to listen to this person. Anytime you come trying to undo what I'm the discipline I'm providing, and you want me to watch this child, let the child be out of control on your Alan Eve here to help you believe that marriage is not a game.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

Talk to him, girl. What up though, everybody? Thank you for being that loud. Welcome to the Alan Eve podcast. Yeah. I get so happy. Guys, a lot of times because I'm here with my wife, doing this pod. My bestie. Right. Doing this podcast. It's so much fun.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

It's fun. It's always fun having a conversation with you.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

Right. But welcome everybody. If you're new to this channel, new to this podcast, understand we're talking about marriages and relationships and on your way to the altar and on your way to marriage. Christians out there. Marriage. We're so heavily.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

Or on your way out the door.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

Or out the door or something like that. Heavily on marriage. The dynamic of marriage. We believe marriage is the key for families out there. People should be getting married or even just being separated and single. Understanding the uh a lot that goes into marriage and really figuring this out. We haven't these difficult conversations about our life or other hypothetical situations or situation we've seen. We've seen, yeah. Not going on. If you um man, I forget what to call them. Uh repeating, repeated repeating offenders? No, not repeated offenders. People that came back, I crew, you know what I'm saying? Welcome back, y'all. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

Hopefully, they are repeated offenders of put pushing a like button.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

Okay, abuse that like button, okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

You gotta beat it, hold it down. That's what you want to hold beat on. So today we're talking about when you're caught between your child or your partner. What did you do? What do oh my god, what would you do if you're caught in between? Let's let me let me let me let me talk to y'all right quick. Nobody really talks about how hard when you're stuck between your child and your partner. In a blended family, that can be one of the most painful positions to be in. Just painful. People think when you make a decision that it's easy, everything was just not that hard for you. You just you're doing whatever. No, I mean a blended family. Blended families are difficult. We understand some people blended family. It went fine, it went perfect for you. You're one of the blessed ones. Some of us, not so I don't want to say lucky, but not so blessed. I get to say the word again. Not so blessed.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

It was more challenging.

SPEAKER_02 3:01

Challenging for some of us. Um that um my situation. Me and my wife, of course, the city, me and my wife, we both are in a blended family. If people don't understand that, if you're new to this, my wife is a step parent, I'm a step parent. We both came in with beautiful kids. We love them dearly with all our heart. But what we believe as Christians is that we put our marriage right up there with God. It's God in our marriage, children, and everybody else. The followers said rule for our marriage.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

And I know that people like to make that statement you should never be put in a place to have to choose. Okay, that all sounds good, but reality is situations come up and you have to make a decision. So for all of the people that say the spouse shouldn't make me choose, or oh, I'm choosing my child, don't get into a relationship or a marriage, don't get into a covenant if you feel like you're going to choose your child. You don't know, you can do everything by the book. You know, oh, we did play dates, all of the kids get along, everything looks good. We, you know, gave it time, we assessed everything. We had dates just, you know, with me and you. We had dates with just your daughter, and then we bring the kids together. We did all of these things to make sure or to see if it was a good fit. You don't know what's gonna happen later on down the line, what's gonna arise later on. You know what I mean? So you have to have a thought process too of something could happen.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

And a blended family is very unpredictable at times because you don't really know what that child that's leaving uh their previous home, previous family, what their emotions and they're going through. If you've never been through the painful situation of bringing your child out of that and starting a new family, you don't know what to do. You think, okay, everything seems fine. Then you turn around, it's there's a problem after another problem, another problem. And your spouse is in the crossfires of this is their fault. Right. This is their fault.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

This is their fault. Y'all didn't go through like this before they came in the picture, and everything is blamed on. Right.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

And you're just trying to start over in a beautiful mirror, you're trying to do it right, you're trying to um navigate this. But in some choices, you have to make it sure to understand where are you at with your decision making and your values in life, even though what the outside world may say. If you made a vow and you value the vows of your marriage and you understand that that your child might have to take a back seat. All our children will understand that they would take a back seat to our marriage. Because in the design, it should have been our marriage was first, then children came along. But we everybody's doing it whatever now. We just figuring out and not understanding marriage comes first and then the children. We're doing things backwards now. So since it's backwards, now a lot of us going through blended families, and then this is one of the decisions you have to make because and one of the consequences of blending the family.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

That's the consequence of your own. That's what I'm saying. That's the consequence of your own sin out here willy-nilly, having kids with whoever, doing whatever. And now it's just a hot mess.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

So some of y'all might say, What could Al, what could happen, huh? My situation is fine. So I'm gonna give y'all a couple of situations. I'm gonna give y'all a couple things that could happen. Okay? Since some of you we do see the comments, and some of them go, that that could never happen, and just blending the family should be fine. Once you love the child and everything should go fine.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

I know that's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

All right, when y'all say certain things, so let's go disrespect. I'm sorry, go ahead. No, no, disrespect at home. When your spouse said your child is rude and needs strict discipline, your child said your spouses are too harsh and always picking on them. Now, both, both, both of them want you to pick their side or take their side. That's a situation of disrespect. One, your spouse could be like, hey, I see how you parenting your child, and it doesn't seem like you're a little softer. You're not being disciplined, and in areas they should be being disciplined. That's where y'all can you will disagree on the other.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

That's good because you all already had different parents and styles. That's why or disciplined styles before if somebody was more strict than hey, I'm taking this away or I'm doing this, rather than somebody saying, No, stop, don't do that. And then that's the end of it. They don't get nothing taken away. There's no consequences for their actions or anything. And now you come in and you treating all of the kids the same because you're not gonna just say, Hey, you stop doing that. No, no, and this person is six to seven years old, too old to be doing what they're doing, but you over here disciplining your children, taking stuff away from them, corn, putting them in the corner or whatever your discipline and style is. No, it ain't gonna be no difference in that. They all need to understand that they get everybody wanna have the same treatment when it comes to the good stuff, you know, right? Equal rights if they get this type of money, or if they get new shoes, somebody else should be getting new shoes. It should be the same thing with discipline. Whatever you did, you should be getting discipline in the same manner as everybody else.

SPEAKER_02 8:34

So, yeah, that could be a situation where you might have to, you're being pushed or have to pick between your spouse, your child.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

I don't think it should ever be a situation where you're choosing your child in a healthy dynamic. And what I mean by that is if it's any, I'm we gotta make this clear in no type of abuse situation because people love to just jump in a what about abuse? Like nobody is talking about abuse, right? Nobody is talking about any type of any way, shape, or form of abuse. Use common sense. We're not talking about abuse because that that gets annoying when people try to throw that in there, like that's what we're talking about. It's not.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

So, another example when the child refuses to bond, the partner's trying to keep true, the partner keeps trying to connect, but the child wants nothing to do with them. Your spouse feels rejected and hurt. Your child said, You can't make me love them. Well, so do you push your child to be more open or back off and risk your partner feeling shut off?

SPEAKER_00 9:34

I don't know, and that one is a hard one to me because I feel like you cannot try to force somebody to be force the relationship. You can make them go out, but it's not, isn't if it's not a genuine connection, right? You know what I mean? I don't think that somebody should be forced. If you just not feeling it, you just not feeling it. But understand that you might not be coming around like that. Seriously.

SPEAKER_02 9:58

Right, right, right. Because you have to pick again. There's another situation where you have to pick your child or your spouse. Your spouse is saying that I'm being disrespected. Your child saying, and you're trying to talk to your child. Come on, can you please do that? Like, no, no, I'm not. My mom or my dad said I don't have to.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

Okay, so go stay with your mom and dad full time.

SPEAKER_02 10:17

So, what are y'all gonna do?

SPEAKER_00 10:19

Go stay with your mom and dad full time because you're picking come over here disrespecting an adult just because you feel like you don't need to or you don't want to bond with this person. That's no, that's giving the child a little bit too much leeway, in my opinion, a little bit too much control over the household. If you letting kids run your household based off of their feelings, then I don't know what type of household you're gonna have. But no, I don't think I don't think that you should try to force no relationship. If it's not there, it's not there. I mean, do you you think that I mean what do you think?

SPEAKER_02 10:56

Should they force it? No.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

Right. Should should you make your child like you go sit here, you go no, but you will be respectful.

SPEAKER_02 11:05

I mean, you don't want to like try to force them on because it's gonna be fake, of course.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

That's what I mean. Who wants that?

SPEAKER_02 11:11

No right, y'all both not gonna be happy with the one it has to naturally. It's not gonna happen naturally, but what we're not going to do is go our way to be disrespectful, mean, or to the partner that I love. You're not doing that, and we're gonna set some room.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

But I think that it's sad for the situations where it's the potential of being natural, and then other people come in and and kind of taint that. That is so sad because it started off as genuine and great and good, and then other people and their negativity influenced, and now the child is not interested. So, what y'all gonna do?

SPEAKER_02 11:49

What y'all gonna do? Is it in another situation where you gotta pick? Let's talk about something else. Uh, your partner wants more couples' time. Your spouse says your child gets all your attention, and there's nothing left for our marriage. The child is already struggling emotionally and clinging to you even more. Do you prioritize your relationship or focus on your child's emotional needs?

SPEAKER_00 12:15

Again, this if this child needs all this emotional, I'm serious, and I'm not trying to be funny because there are kids out here that need emotional support. But what I'm saying is this did not just come out the blue. You already had signs of this before entering another relationship. And if you didn't, that means you weren't paying attention to your own child from the beginning. So all I'm saying is get your child the therapy and the help they need before adding somebody else into the equation. Right. You should not wait till you married, and now you sitting here wrestling with, oh, I gotta be there for my child mentally and emotionally, and my wife over here, her husband over here suffering because all my time is consumed with my child. You should have been putting all of that time and energy into your child before getting and putting before a relationship. No, right? If that's the case.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

But I'm not saying things don't come up, like we talk about things might come up. Maybe it was a traumatic situation that happened to the child. Right. Then I think that when it's like that, something happened while in the dynamic. And then, you know, I believe the spouse will be understanding, like, I understand you need to be there for your child.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

But if it's just something where it's looking like they just want all your attention so that y'all are not getting the time y'all need together, that's something totally different. So it's it's the intention.

SPEAKER_02 13:28

Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

It's definitely what is the intent here, you know.

SPEAKER_02 13:31

Right, definitely have a conversation with the spouse, definitely be, you know, find where y'all are middle ground, where y'all can meet and have an understanding where I spend this a little bit of time because I I would believe that the child was on and off.

unknown 13:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:46

So it shouldn't be that big of a deal because if it's one week on one, oh my full time. Okay, let's plan where you know I take them somewhere else, maybe parents or grandparents or something, take them there, let's spend time.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

But you have to make time for the marriage.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

Right, you have to make time for the marriage, and you can't keep blowing up right, you won't. You can't keep blowing off your spouse and saying, I gotta be there for him, I gotta be there for him.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

Then you're uh your spouse's gonna be looking at that child some type of way, like I don't want to be about seriously. Like that can cause something against the child, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

Right.

SPEAKER_00 14:19

Come on, let's just be honest. I know people who try to act so strange, like I wouldn't take that over the child. Come on, yes, you do, right? You will be looking at the child like I'm taking the child.

SPEAKER_02 14:27

Right, secretly, because we see I've been seeing some comment on the internet where step parents blended families and they really dislike the child because they're around too much and they want the time with their spouse. Let's let's be honest, it is happening. People can fake it and say this is not, and they don't feel like this.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

They do, they do, honestly.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

They deep down in the field, they don't want to say nothing because they don't want to come off looking some type of way, but they do feel that way about the children. Right, right. So um another one when um arguments over discipline, if your spouse your partners punish your child for something, but your child comes crying to you, saying it was unfair. Your spouse explains you um you to back them up, but you don't. Um, do you stand united with your spouse or do you undo the punishment to protect your child?

SPEAKER_00 15:27

You and your child are about to get out at this point. If I'm sitting here, I'm serious. If I'm sitting here correcting some bad behavior and putting the child in the corner and they crying and you come there getting them out the corner, you're gonna be doing this on your own.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

To protect them, right?

SPEAKER_00 15:42

It ain't trying to protect them. That is not helping the situation because you're teaching that child to disregard and disrespect me. Right. The person that's like you don't have to listen to this person. Anytime you come trying to undo what I'm the discipline I'm providing, and you want me to watch this child, let the child be out of control on your time.

SPEAKER_02 16:01

Because some people can have that simple sense of empathy for the child, but they need to check that and realize empathy.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

Why would you have empathy over something that your child is doing?

SPEAKER_02 16:12

I think the the just the natural state of the what might occur inside them is that empathy for the child because I don't have that. They need to check that and understand that my partner is not doing out of malice. We hope, we pray this is not happening, but definitely understand where the tent is coming from. Your partner is they are trying to lead and guide them in the right way. They would do that with their own children, so they're trying to treat your child the same way.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

See, and that's so we just talked about that. Understanding step back. If that's the case, step back, let them do it.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

Right.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

And if they're trying to leave them with you, no, I cannot watch your child because your child is not gonna be here disrupting the household, and and I'm sitting here disciplining my children, putting them in the corner, but your child don't have to get in the corner. I don't, I can't say or do nothing to discipline your child because you're getting up giving them whatever they want after I just said no. That is division, you creating that for yourself at that point.

SPEAKER_02 17:08

So right, yeah. And no, what would y'all do? And that's it. What would y'all do? Who are y'all picking?

SPEAKER_00 17:14

I know what I would do.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

So another one. Let's go with this last one. Your child accuses your spouse of favoritism. Your child says they trust their own children better than me. Your spouse said that not true. I feel insulted.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Okay, first of all, that's not true. Like, what?

SPEAKER_02 17:33

Um, that's not true and feel insulted. Do you validate your child's feeling or do you defend your partner from a painful accusation of them, your child saying, Oh, they they treat their child way better than me. It seemed like they get more snacks or they get candy. I don't get that.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

But again, that's a that's a that's a very dangerous situation because to some that can be considered neglect, depending on what that child is saying. If you sitting here saying, Oh, you gave that child something to eat, I didn't get nothing to eat. So now you're not feeding kids. Right. Oh, this person got new shoes, and but I got these, you know, I didn't get new shoes. No, they're not even beat up. You just didn't need new shoes.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

You know what I mean? So poor clothes. Oh, they got a whole new wardrobe, but I didn't get anything at all. That's why the parents need to be in communication. Because, okay, there's an explanation for this. You don't just go and run with what a child is saying. That's foolish on your part to do that. Nobody is saying don't believe your child, but they are kids at the end of the day, and their perception of things may not be the truth. So you need to talk, speak to an adult, and and get a full understanding of what's going on. Because that can stop a lot of confusion and um whatever is being happening in the relationship. I mean, in the marriage or in the household, because they go into telling the other parent, oh, I didn't get nothing, I didn't do this, I didn't do that. And stuff don't even be true.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

Right. And if y'all are not united, you don't understand your spouse, and you're not really connected with your spouse, you're gonna start believing your child more and more, you're not gonna have a marriage. You guys are gonna be separated before that child is 18. And or a teenager. I'm gonna do it. If they are a teenager, you're gonna be separated before a couple years because you can't constantly pick your child and make it seem like your your partner is being unfair and singling out your child. And then hopefully that's not true for you guys.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

If that's the case, even if you make it to when the child is 18 years old, you didn't chose your child this whole entire time. Right. So, what type of marriage do you have left after that?

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

The child is not gonna realistically just be poof gone at 18. Never, right. So at the end of the day, we could we everybody could keep saying, or no, I don't want to say everybody, but a lot of people could keep saying 18, 18, 18. That doesn't mean anything. Maybe it means something for child support, but that's about it. Right. Because the child might still be there with their hand out, right? Still be there disrespectful, still be there, don't want to be bothered with your spouse, but want money from you in your household.

SPEAKER_02 20:21

So exactly. Right. And you know, um, y'all, I really hope that uh that you if if a lot of y'all heard all this, some of y'all, you're not in a relationship, you do have a child, you're hearing this, you but I'm picking my child through all these examples, then just don't get married, don't get in a relationship. Some people like fine, I'm cool with that. I'm I'm gonna take care of my children. That's the best decision you should do. A lot of us need to realize this before getting in a relationship or dating or anything, that I'm hearing these examples, I'm hearing this um um, whatever they call it, um, what if or hypothetical situation? And I feel like in this season of my life, I'm picking my child. And that's the best decision you should be making for your dynamic. Pick your child.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

I think that's very inconsiderate and selfish for somebody to hear or know deep down inside I'm picking my child, but still get somebody else involved and get married, knowing that you will pick your child.

SPEAKER_02 21:26

Secretly, right, you know.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

That's wrong. Yeah, that's very selfish and self-free. Okay, then stay, keep it just you and your child.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

Right?

SPEAKER_00 21:38

Nothing is wrong with that.

SPEAKER_02 21:39

Or double back, make it work. Make it work, then if you if you're just gonna be single by yourself, I guess somebody like it's too bad I'm gonna be by myself, be by yourself.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

But why add somebody else to that unhealthy dynamic that you already have? Right. Or if you already have a troubled child, like why are you adding a like that's gonna work out for the step pants? You setting that step parent up for hell.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

They are living hell. You just you don't even want to deal with what your child is going through. And then you add somebody else to that. Again, very inconsiderate. Don't nobody want to be involved with that. That's between you and your child and the biological parent.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:21

Don't don't expect me to step in and step up. And now I'm being blamed for issues that the child already had.

SPEAKER_02 22:29

Already. Was already doing. Pre-existent. It was stealing before. Y'all get together, they start stealing your spouse stuff. And now you're acting like, you just you blame my child, huh? You blame my child still. They don't even steal like that. You knew they've been stealing. They've been thieving and lying.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

Yeah, they've been a liar. They've been a troubled child. Like you don't try to.

SPEAKER_02 22:50

My baby, my baby.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

Oh, it just happened because you know, it's that pessimistic, that narcissistic type of situation where people always blaming other. What did the other kids do? Why the other kids, what did they do to get punched, slapped, and kicked and choked on? What did they do? It had to be a reason. I think that that's ridiculous. Right. And again, too, just to talk about this, because a lot of people always feel bad for that child. And it is a sad situation. Feel bad for the child that's kind of like singled out or have to go stay with their the other parent full time or whatever. But in a blended family, you have to look at the overall. It's not just about this one child. People have to understand that. If it's five, if it's seven kids in total, you have to look at the other six children to see what is also going to be best for them. What is best for everyone in this situation? And sometimes it's best to be separated. It's a hard decision to make, but at the end of the day, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 23:53

Right. Just letting y'all know. Just having these conversations. Hopefully it reached somebody that before they jump in a relationship and you have a child, you might want to consider that. Because a lot of y'all, let's be honest, some of the women are they gonna pick their child. Some of the men are just doing whatever, having babies, having families all over the place. We need to really consider this because we're putting our child children in danger. We uh not creating healthy homes, we're creating a lot of blended families for no reason. People have to go through stress and heartache over these situations and these examples, and people don't not understand. Just either make it work with your previous relationship or stay single. But let's not just hurry up, let's get in a whole relationship. I think this person could be a great dad or be a great mom to my to my children. You need to take care of those kids by yourself. When you and your partner need to, uh I mean your biological parent need to figure that out. Right. Don't don't include me in that, don't include other people in that. Your child is bad already. You do something. Be by yourself. Some of y'all need to be single by yourself.

SPEAKER_00 25:04

Focusing on the child's mental health or whatever they need to do.

SPEAKER_02 25:07

Your child needs that much love, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:10

They need that much love. Or not just two kids that have like mental problems or emotional or mental health. What about physical aspects? Maybe somebody has a physical dynamic, you know, and uh maybe they hurt themselves. Right. And now they lying on I don't know. I've we've heard and seen so much.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

It just we so at this point we just had double back, make it work with the previous relationship, or stay single.

SPEAKER_00 25:37

I would just say stay single. I don't think people should go back to situations that they left.

SPEAKER_02 25:42

Because why did you not good, right? Remember why you left. Right.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

If it's not good and if it was good, they would still be together. No, right, right. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 25:50

But sometimes people in the emotion and they just ready to leave and get out of there.

SPEAKER_00 25:54

Maybe they just yeah, but if you're ready to leave and get out of there, again, there's still an underlying issue that y'all haven't resolved that's still gonna be there even when you go back.

SPEAKER_02 26:03

Okay, maybe I just stay single. Just stay single, work on your child. You know your child. You got two or three kids, stay single. You got four or five kids, Lord Jesus. I'm sorry, I have to say this stay single. Just stay single. Stay single. Me and my wife, if we ever got a divorce, God forbid, and we're talking about I have five kids, you have right. I have four. Well, technically, I would have six because I include all my kids, and my wife have um five. Mike, me, we gotta go, we gotta go. Me and my kids me and my wife have so many kids, and we try to date other people.

SPEAKER_00 26:46

That would be I appreciate you for trying to include my two children before, but you didn't have to do that.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

But I no, but I would still see them as my children. Like, they I can't date nobody and be like, oh, I raised them since they was little and then say disconnect.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

But you see how we have two different stories because I would just say five kids. Like, I wouldn't be like still trying to say I ain't even in her life. I'm like six, like I got you, you know what I mean? Like that would be that would be uncomfortable, but somebody else could be offended, like she didn't add on, right? I didn't add on, I'm not in the right, I am not in a place to try to take that type of achievement to say it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 27:23

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 27:24

But it was just funny when you said that because you got stuck. You was like, she got uh that was funny.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

So we appreciate we hope that this blessed somebody. We appreciate you stayed this long. We did thank you for hanging out with us, chilling, and listening to our conversation. Man, we're not, I guess we could say we are kind of against blended family. We just want people to, if you're making a family, stay together, make it work, be prepared before having babies and kids out here, stay single, realize your future, and stop just being with somebody just just because let's start thinking about this stuff before we're creating broken homes after broken homes. Because the people that's really uh um the people that's really affected and being um uh hurt by the situation are the children. The children are always being affected by this dynamic, and they are all people always want to say, I'm thinking about my child, I love my child. Do you really no?

SPEAKER_00 28:20

You're not thinking about them. I mean, you you love your child, but you're not thinking about them. You're thinking about your own. You think about getting out that situation. I'm just saying, people thinking about their own sexual needs, their own loneliness, they own they're not thinking about their child's mental health and way. They're not thinking about that.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

So, we thank y'all so much. We love y'all, we appreciate it. We are out of here.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

This is absolutely marriage is not a game.