How to Let Go of Unhelpful Thought Patterns (Guided Meditation)

In this mindfulness talk and guided meditation, Sean Fargo invites us to examine and shift the “mental models” that shape how we see ourself and the world.

We all carry inner narratives—beliefs, assumptions, and self-talk—that can either support our well-being or keep us stuck in patterns of stress, scarcity, and self-criticism. 

In this episode, Sean helps you recognize unhelpful mental models with gentle awareness and then guides you through a three-part practice to reset your state through your body, focus, and language, inspired by Tony Robbins.

By the end of this talk and meditation, you’ll feel more grounded, open, and empowered to meet challenges with clarity and compassion.

What You’ll Experience in This Episode:

✔ How to identify and name unhelpful mental models without judgment

✔ A guided body-awareness practice to shift your state

 ✔ How to redirect your focus toward what’s working in your life

✔ Practical ways to soften your self-talk and choose empowering language

✔ The “body, focus, language” triad for reframing your challenges

✔ A closing visualization to anchor your new state into action

Become a Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher: Certify.MindfulnessExercises.com

Email: Sean@MindfulnessExercises.com

Mindfulness Exercises with Sean Fargo is a practical, grounded mindfulness podcast for people who want meditation to actually help in real life.

Hosted by Sean Fargo — a former Buddhist monk, mindfulness teacher, and founder of MindfulnessExercises.com — this podcast explores how mindfulness can support mental health, emotional regulation, trauma sensitivity, chronic pain, leadership, creativity, and meaningful work.

Each episode offers a mix of:

• Practical mindfulness and meditation teachings
• Conversations with respected meditation teachers, clinicians, authors, and researchers
• Real-world insights for therapists, coaches, yoga teachers, educators, and caregivers
• Gentle reflections for anyone navigating stress, anxiety, burnout, grief, or change

If you’re interested in:

• Mindfulness meditation for everyday life
• Trauma-sensitive and compassion-based practices
• Teaching mindfulness in an authentic, non-performative way
• Deepening your own practice while supporting others

…you’re in the right place.

Learn more at MindfulnessExercise...

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hello friends, my name is Sean Fargo, a former Buddhist monk, founder of Mindfulness Exercises. I'm a papa to a six-year-old girl. I'm a husband. Yada yada. I live in Berkeley, California. And today I want to talk about these kinds of mental models that we have for ourselves in the world. And help us to identify which mental models we may be having that may not be so helpful for us. And then we're going to do a guided meditation practice in which we're going to mindfully change our state with our physiology, our beliefs, our language, so that we can relate to a more wholesome, more helpful mental model of the world, our world, ourselves, so that we can find a little bit more ease and peace during our day. That's more rooted in how the world actually is. And we can break free from some of the stories that we're we tell ourselves. So I know for me, you know, I I'm a mindfulness meditation teacher. And sometimes, you know, carrying that identity gets me into trouble. Even when I practice mindfulness and meditation, um, sometimes I can do it in the lens of a teacher. Like, oh, I'm relating to my experience, um, and I'm gonna gather some of the insights I have today for my teaching later. Or I think, okay, well, I'm a teacher of mindfulness, therefore um I know what I'm doing, and I know what this experience is like because I do it all the time and I teach it, which really gets me into trouble because as we know, mindfulness is not about the outcome or knowing anything. It's about really awakening to whatever's here with a sense of gentle awareness, or caring curiosity for how it unfolds, or a simple sense of awe and wonder for the richness and fullness of these unfolding layers of experience. So we're kind of a a student of this moment rather than a teacher of say concepts or outcomes. And so that identity can can cut me off from the moment itself. Um and it can show up in my relationships. Like, oh, I'm I'm the one who's present, I'm the one who's aware, or I'm the one who can emotionally regulate. Sometimes we don't know how silly we are until we speak out louder thoughts. Um, and even this summer. Um, being a dad of a six-year-old girl, there's a lot of moving parts trying to keep her learning or preoccupied or arrested or loved. You know, just trying to tender her. Um I want to do everything I can to tender her, tender my loving wife, um, and to our community and to try to help many of you who are going through difficult times trying to further your mindfulness practice, your teaching, your certification. Um I tend to overextend myself sometimes and the mental model that I have for the world often my world shrink. Um I feel like there's not enough time. I'm not worthy enough for my own soft care. Um not enough resources to go around. Um at any time or on the weekend to go. Um if I feel like I don't have the bandwidth to simply sit by that. So um so I've been thinking a lot about these stories because um, you know, I've been kind of overextended. And I know for a lot of you, therapists and coaches, yoga instructors, reiki masters, wellness consultants, you hold space for other people, and you help them bring gentle awareness to their experience, and you give so much, which is beautiful. Um, and if we overextend ourselves, or if the mental models of the world are um imbued with competition, scarcity, unworthiness, um, not being enough, not having enough, um, resentment, then the voice in our own heads can be really harsh. And we may lash out to others, blame others, or we may blame ourselves and treat ourselves very poorly. So now I'm gonna name some of these more common, unhelpful narratives out loud, not to shame them or judge them, but to bring them into the light with care. And so as you hear these, notice which ones resonate, which ones land, where your body tightens, where your breath wants to lengthen. And if any of these stories are yours, you're not alone. And then uh together we'll do a guided meditation practice to help break free from a lot of these stories. Um so maybe we can start by taking a slow inhale and longer exhale as we review some of these unhelpful mental models that a lot of us have, these voices in our heads. There's never enough time, not even for the first step. I have to do everything at once. If it isn't perfect, it's a failure. I have to earn my worth. I can't handle this. If I move, it has to be all or nothing. I can't risk a wrong step. This is just who I am. I can't change. If people see me learning, they'll judge me. Better hide the mess. Saying no is selfish. Love means always saying yes. I'm responsible for everyone's feelings. I'm behind everyone else. I should be where they are. I need their approval to be okay. It always ends the same. Nothing really changes. I already know what they think of me. Better not ask. If I can't do it big, it's not worth starting. My feelings are the facts. They run me. I must feel calm before I can act. It's too late for me. My past defines me. I can't outgrow it. They're doing this to me. This is personal. If someone's upset, I failed. I can't start until I have more time, money, or support. Success is only about money and status. My body and the way I look is the problem. It gets in the way. I can't trust my signals. They betray me. If I share, I'll be judged. This is punishment. Something is wrong with me. The meaning is fixed, and it's bad. And maybe take a deep breath or two. Maybe wiggle out this energy from the body. So I imagine most of you will have resonated with at least two or three of those. And again, this is not to shame us or to say it's bad. It's actually very human, very common. I hear these all the time from others, and I think these all the time in my own head. So it's not like it's bad or that we're bad. These stories come up for all sorts of reasons. The key is to bring gentle awareness to them when they come up. And now we're going to do a guided meditation practice that can help us to change our state in a mindful way. Where we're going to reset our state and our story gently and on purpose. So finding a comfortable posture, seated or standing, letting your body feel the ground or the seat, letting your jaw soften, your shoulders drop. Take a slow inhale through the nose, and a long, easy exhale through the mouth. Today we'll explore three simple levers that we can use anytime. How we can use our body, what we focus on, and the words we choose. And as we shift them, we also shift the meaning that we give our experience. And that can open more freedom right now. So first, our physiology. How we use our body. So if it's available, can we sit a little taller? Allowing our spine to lengthen as if there's a string, gently lifting the crown of our head, opening the chest a little bit, unclenching the stomach, taking three steady breaths, letting each exhale be slightly longer than the inhale, deeply breathing. Noticing how these small changes already shift our energy. Raise the cheeks a little bit. Maybe roll the shoulders back and down. Let them be heavy again. Resting on our lap, on the ground or over our heart? If our body were telling the story that I can work with this, what would it do? If our body was telling the story that I can work with this, what would the body do to work with it? Letting a tiny adjustment to show up. Maybe five percent more open, five percent more grounded. Now we're gonna notice where our focus is, where we aim our attention. So right now, name one thing in your world that is working even a little. Something going well. Something that you feel peace with. Focusing on one small thing that is working, or focus on something that's going well. Nothing too overwhelming, just something real. So noticing the phrase you've been repeating about this challenge. Maybe it's one of the phrases that I've shared earlier, one of the unhelpful stories or narratives that we have. Hear it in your mind. Which one really resonated with you the most? Hear it in your own voice. Now we can try to soften it a little bit. For example, I'm overwhelmed, can become I'm carrying a lot, and I can prioritize. Can become I'm learning. And I can do the next part better. So whatever the language is in our mind, I'm playing with it to see how we can soften it. And now choose one gentle, empowering sentence that you're willing to practice, repeating to yourself today. Say it silently now in your own voice at the pace of your breath. One gentle, empowering sentence. We can adjust our body tall, open, breathing easy, aiming your focus, name what's working, and the smallest next true step and choosing our language. Speak one sentence that supports action and care. Step one body. Lift the chest, even if it's just a little bit. Can relax the jaw, feel your feet. One slow inhale and a long exhale. Step two, focus. Ask what matters most in the next five minutes, and let one simple answer appear. Step three, language. Craft a powerful sentence that you can believe at seventy percent or more. Ideally, a hundred percent. Something like, I can work with this one step at a time. I'm calm, I'm capable, I'm taking the next action. Or I can relate to this world and to myself with love and benevolence. Because the world is filled with benevolence. So say whatever your sentence is quietly to yourself. And with meaning, we can bring our real life challenge back into view. Feel our body in its stronger, more open posture, noticing steadier breath, and from this state we can ask, what meaning am I choosing right now? What meaning am I choosing for this right now? So we can choose the meaning. It's one of the most beautiful things about being human. And we can try different kinds of meanings. This is feedback, this is practice, this is a chance to ask for help. Seeing it, feeling it, hearing it. Offering them a wish for ease or support. Visualizing ourselves doing the next small step, and picturing someone who benefits from us doing this. What do we feel in our body? What's different in our state right now? Maybe we're more calm, clear, steady. Maybe we feel ready. Shaking the hands, wiggling the toes, really breathing with the whole body, maybe patting the body with your hands, and may we bring this new more awakened state to the rest of our day and to the rest of our lives. By shifting our body, our focus, and our language. And then we can relate to them differently. Not take them personally. Not feel bad about them or believe them. To find the agency in the bandwidth to bring gentle awareness to them. And be able to shift our state body, focus, language. In a way that feels more liberating, empowering. Awakening. So I'd love to hear how this practice was for you. Um feel free to leave a review of this episode here on Apple or Spotify or wherever you're listening to this. Love to hear what you thought and what you think. Feel free to come to our website at mindfulness exercises.com. Can email me at Sean at mindfulness exercises.com and love to stay in touch. So I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. And thank you for listening. Take good care.