dumberies

Jason Evans and Geoff Smith kick off Football for Dummies by Dummies (a Chelsea Podcast), a show where two long-suffering Blues supporters turn their weekly text threads and voice notes into an actual podcast. One of them is a full-blown tactics nerd, the other is still figuring out how half the Bundesliga table even works – and that’s kind of the point.

In this debut episode, they introduce themselves, explain how a Fox Soccer Channel roulette led Geoff to Chelsea, and how Jason went from JV mascot with a soccer ball on his head to Premier League addict. Then they dive into Chelsea’s season so far: Caicedo as early MVP, the Enzo–Caicedo midfield of the future, Reece James’ importance as captain, the emergence of Estevão, and the “what exactly is Joao Pedro’s best position?” problem.

They look ahead to a brutal stretch against Burnley, Barcelona, and Arsenal, and play a game of “Where will they be in three years?” with names like Harry Kane, Garnacho, Jude Bellingham, Marcus Rashford, and Nicolas Jackson. The episode wraps with the recurring bit “Laughing at Liverpool”, because if you can’t count on trophies, you can at least count on a little schadenfreude.