Your Eggs Aren't Rotten

In this episode, Yo Mamma unpacks the pressure women feel around fertility — the timelines, the scare tactics, the “your clock is ticking” messaging, and the idea that you’re somehow behind if your life didn’t follow a perfect script.
She breaks down why fertility isn’t a straight line and why the journey can still unfold for you after the very real things women go through: abortions, miscarriages, breakups, and all the unexpected turns life delivers.

Yo Mamma also gets deep on your spiritual purpose — why you’re here, what you’re learning, and how living your karma shapes the timing of everything in your life, including the things you can’t force.

This episode reminds women that their bodies aren’t running out of worth, their futures aren’t closing in, and their eggs are absolutely not rotten.
It’s a grounded, honest conversation about letting go of fear-based narratives and trusting that your life — and your timeline — are allowed to unfold in ways the media never talks about.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

You're tuned in to BD BD. Bitch, don't be dumb. I'm your mama. No daddy's allowed. Hey y'all. Welcome to episode three. Already, time flies. You are listening to episode three of the bitch don't be dumb podcast. BD BD. Don't drop it. Don't stop it. This week's episode is about your fertility. Sisters. We're going in. We're gonna talk about your eggs. We're gonna talk about your shit. Um, I feel as a 47-year-old, I love I love me. You should love you. Be every version of yourself every fucking day. Best level because you are exactly where you're supposed to be. So as a 47-year-old woman with two babies, my children right now are one year old and three years old. So think about. Oh, here we go. I'm 47. My children are one and three. I didn't have like they didn't get defrosted out of a box. I didn't have to plug my husband's sperm into some other chick to make it happen. This is not an insult to anyone. It is bringing logic back to women because the media tells you that your eggs are rotten. It's so crazy to me. I mean, celebrities aside, right? Fucking shout out and shout out the bitches got their billionaire bitches, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian fuck, all these people that are like, oh, I'm just gonna like have this bitch do it for me because I can't be fucked. That's the reality. That is the reality. They just decided that they've got enough money to get it done. And then the men that own the newspapers are like, ladies, you better be scared and you better give your money to the doctors, right? Like, go get your eggs froze. What the fuck? I'm telling you, each to their own. That is nothing I am underwriting. Alas, I will be your mama. I will be the voice. I will be the one to let y'all know you don't need to freeze your fucking eggs. You actually don't. And there's a bitch right now with her fucking eggs frozen. There's somebody in IBF that's like, fuck this bitch. That's fine. Y'all are a minority. That's you're a minority of a minority. So no wonder you feel estranged. No wonder it's very isolating. It's like, oh shit. Let's talk about statistics. Statistically speaking, women are fertile as fuck. The world would not exist if we were not fertile. Do you think in fucking 1800 this bitch is like, oh my god, come and fucking squeeze my eggs out because I'm 38? Are you fucking crazy? Are you out of your mind? Sophia Franklin, Sophia with the effort. I don't know. I think she's 12. Like, you're 12. She might be 30, but to me, she's 12. And she's like, ah, I had to go get my egg sucked. And it was like so stressful. Cause I'm about it's like, the fuck? Like, dude, you actually. Why don't you fuck your husband? Here's the thing about me. I've had many husbands, as we know. The stories will unfold as time goes on. The one relevant husband, husband number four. And two is my number, so four is two twos. Let's just like, anyways, for my numerologist shout out. My husband and I met madly in love. I mean, I hate him now because you know that's when relationships happen. We hate each other, but we don't really. But you following me, babies.

unknown: 4:21

Bitch, don't be dumb.

SPEAKER_00: 4:23

My husband and I met on February 10th, 2021. Our first son was born on February 19th, 2022. And our second son was born on November 27th. It's almost his birthday, 2023. And y'all should listen to that episode when I invent it, because you can't even imagine. Mind you, these babies were born after I had three abortions, after I had three miscarriages, after I've been through a lot of shit with a lot of dudes because I'm a real ass bitch fucking roaming the earth, y'all. So, anyways, it was an unexpected, divine light that came to me when it came to me. So I am tired of little girls in their 30s freezing their eggs. Stop freezing your fucking eggs. I mean, you can if you want to, but like, are you just trying to support the system? Do you just want to support, like, is it just like a government moment? Like, what is making little girls feel like your eggs rot when you're 25? Bitch, don't be dumb. BD BD. Honey, we are fertilita. Fertilita. Any single fucking person on earth owes it to a woman. Let's say that together. Anyone who is alive has that privilege because of their mama. I'm yo mama. But you know what's weird to me? And I'm allowed to say it's weird because it's actually I'm not even gonna make it a legality thing, but it's very strange if, for example, I'm like, oh my God, I'm a skinny billionaire, and I want a kid, but I don't want to actually get fat or deal with the hormones that come along with it. So just like extract this DNA from my pussy, put it in a fucking petri dish with this dude jerking off, because Lord knows all dirt, all dirts, yeah, that's that's appropriate. All dudes are just jerking off, put it in a pan, stick it in that chick, make it happen. What the fuck? Like that is crazy. And if you if it is actually completely physiologically required your calling, I'm not hating on that shit. I'm just saying what blows my mind is that like fucking bitches that are 31 are like, oh, I better freeze my eggs for later. I don't know. Would you rather get a egg out of a freezer in five years or just have a crack? Because again, we are all not the same, but I know I am a majority for fucking real, dude. Like the thing that's plugged in our face to accept as normal, particularly as women, they take all of these bitches that are like a full fucking minority. Like they're they're less than the 99%. It's just like, what the fuck is going on? Social media, all this shit blows my mind because it sways like full on cultural cultivation, like ideas about normalcy, honey. Your eggs aren't rotten when you're 30. Not when you're 32, not when you're 38. And I'm not full on. I had three miscarriages. And guess what? Thank fucking God. Because the dude that I was with at the time, oh hell. Although he was a major general in the Spanish army, so don't get it twisted. I wasn't like banging. I mean, I was in a short, this is husband number three. Let's digress. It was a short, fast relationship. We were together for two years. I saw some crazy shit. We're all civilians. Don't fucking forget that. But also, um, there was a few failed pregnancies. He was one of the first dudes that let just raw blow inside me. And again, you can let I am not so Hallie Balchester. She likes like every fucking any if there's a sperm swimming around, she wants it inside of her pussy. That's that I U G life or whatever. Like, I personally um make them a rubber op. I like this episode's all over the place. It's a complicated topic. These dudes, I remember thinking that, like, ugh, like condom rubber, blah, blah, blah, blah. But put it this way, would you rather have a rubber barrier between you and a stranger? I mean, unless you're in a if you are in a fucking like monogamous relationship and choose that as your protection, that's fine. But for the most part, it's like, oh, with this, with that, I guess I'm gonna fuck you. You know, how good is it gonna be? Like, those dudes don't they don't even deserve it. Let them come on their own dick. Let them come on their cock, let let it just like splash down in a fucking plastic bag back onto the shit. That is like, I love that. Nevertheless, I think that as time has gone by, there's been so much confusion and complexity about like, I'm here for the Lord, blow me full. I don't want to have kids, I want birth control, it's the 70s, give me some hormones so they can like fucking kill me by the time I'm 50. Oh, let's change it, do this, do that, put a condom on because there's AIDS and like etc. etc. Like, media is fucking you, and I'm here on media right now, let you know it fucks you. I believe that particularly women are like we plug with so much shit. Like, Instagram is on one. I mean, uh, what's the OnlyFans is on one. I'm not gonna get into all that because if you want to listen to about it, listen to the last episode. But I'm just saying, like, it's giving girls a weird idea. And like the celebrities don't help. So the Paris's and the Kardashi fucks are like, oh, I'm gonna like, I'm just gonna use this bitch to have my kid when they really don't need to. Like, they actually don't have to. Because they could just take it from like, you know, Kylie or Cardi and just get your fucking tummy tummy, your stomach sucked, belly lift, whatever the fuck. Like, get your mommy shit going on. Like, I'm gonna get my mommy shit going on. I'm broke right now, bitches. So, anyways, fucking subscribe and tell your friends. The reason I'm doing this podcast is because I need to fucking tummy tuck. I'm not gonna lie. But that makes me circle back to my original message of like, I had three abortions happily with the random homeless dude I married by accident, three miscarriages that I believe God was fucking having my back because that crazy Spanish dude I married is a psychotic, and I should have never had his kids. And the next thing you know, this fucking beautiful cherub like blossoms out of the flowers. The least time I expected it, and now I have to run from his dick because I don't want to get pregnant, and I'm 47. So my kids were born when I was, I don't know, like you lose track, right? 42. I gotta, anyways, 2000. Yeah, I had two healthy bouncing baby boys in my 40s. That happened. And you know what? I wasn't out for it, I wasn't looking for it, I wasn't stressed out the fuck about it. It just went down as it went down. And again, people, let's let's cue the haters with the haters in the bleachers. Oh, bitch, you don't know what it's like to not be fertile, you don't know what it's like. Every fucking hating fuck book Chinese, every bot that's gonna every bot from around the world is gonna listen to that clip and be like, oh, this bitch hates da da da. No, I am here for women, and I'm here to tell you your body's not broken. And if you have a miscarriage, you have a miscarriage. If you have an abortion, you have a fucking abortion, and when you fall pregnant, you'll be surprised. Lord knows I was fucking surprised. You have a very good shot at getting pregnant. That's what I'm here to say, dude. You don't need to be living like you have dried up ovaries. I don't understand. When did the media, Rupert Murdoch or whatever white man owns the paper, uh Jeff Bezos owns the Washington Post, like, honeys, why don't you go and look at who owns every single fucking mass media shit you're reading? Because guess what it is? It's probably honky ass motherfucker. More than likely. And you know what they don't want women to have? Rights. So in the Middle East, women can't show their faces, but they'll have 8,000 babies. I'm not saying that's fucking liberating. It is what it is. Over here, we can show our faces, but we're not allowed to have babies. Like, why do I have to freeze my eggs? That's weird shit. Like, it is literally sci-fi. And I don't even fucking watch sci-fi, but like, I just feel like if that I'm not again, I'm not yucking anyone's yum. If that's what you really need to do, that's what you need to do. And people be like, oh, this bitch has babies. Oh, you're lucky because you're fucking fertile, so you had your kids in your 40s, fuck you. No, mate, I'm talking from an actual real experience where women should have a voice. So instead of a man publication telling you you're infertile, instead of the stock, instead of the CEO at Pfizer saying to you, oh honey, you better freeze your shit because you're 31 and dried up. No, you're fucking not. No, you're fucking not. And guess what else? The way that the world is progressing, conts are gonna be living till they're 120 years old next week. Get real with it, dude. Be real. With the scariest, most dangerous thing I have, which is a voice. Yo, this podcast in episode three has been built off of me being so fucking sick and tired of Rupert Murdoch's paper of the honky men, right? The whiteies, telling me how the fuck I'm supposed to feel, what the fuck's going on? And and you know what? Fucking Kim Kardashian's a honky, I don't care where you're from. Paris Hells is the fucking honkiest of all. Like, these girls, white privilege, that's like, oh, and then they'll say, oh, I couldn't do it because this, I couldn't do it because of that. Bitch, you couldn't do it because you didn't even fucking try, mate. You didn't even try. Like, I definitely would never say, oh, unless your baby grows in your belly, blah, blah, blah, blah. Bullshit. What needs to be done needs to be done. But my concern as your mama is that the youth, the youth, not the fucking Paris, Kim, not the not the old people, like my teenage friends, right? They're like, oh, I guess I'm just gonna turn 30 and then freeze my eggs and go on my life. Like, I don't know, it's just so Jesus take the wheel. Find a higher power. Find your place in the light, and then just like run with it. All I'm trying to say, if I'm not canceled by now, all I'm trying to say is that like the world, the universe, the universe, like you are already destined to do what you're gonna do. Um, if you really want to like do research on this theory, there's like uh the Kabbalah gets into it, there's spiritualism gets into it, there's certain like things you can, but for me to just say it straight and what I believe, and guess what? I'm gonna say what I believe as a woman, as someone who is running a podcast, which is my fucking podcast, whatever the fuck I want. I believe our futures are predestined. I believe that before you're born, again, energy doesn't stop. So I believe in reincarnation and all that jazz. You sign up for what you walk into. I believe that. And I also fundamentally feel that the complexities of executing that destiny on earth are across the board. So I'm not jealous of bitches with money, dudes with power. I'm good where I'm at, for real. But as part of me executing my own karma and what I'm actually supposed to do, which I have fundamentally understood and felt since single digits, I'm here for my sisters, yo. I'm here for the girls. And at the end of the day, American women are like hyper complicated because the entire world thinks that we're hoes, right? So, and anyone, no, realistically speaking, on a global scale, we're sluts. We're loose, we're easy. That's what the media puts out internationally. And that somewhere nationally, somewhere there's this tight-knit group that is being um normalized by people like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, who are fucking far out of anything normal, but they're saying, oh, let's, I don't even know the term for it, but whatever it is, I'm gonna like take my dude's sperm and my eggs, and I'm gonna put it in this girl over here. When the girl over there is doing it for fucking$100,000, mate, which is disgusting.$200,000,$300,000. Uh I'm happy for her to like do her karma, get her money, move on her own walk. But it's a little bit strange to put a price tag on your kid's fucking head, yo. Especially when they're probably not suffering as much as some other women. Are suffering. And you know what? I can't. It is the most sensitive topic. Bitch, don't be dumb. Let's put it on the fucking floor. It's complicated. Women wanting babies, not wanting babies, having hormones, living life is fucking complicated. I am sharing my honest journey, my real because I want to connect with reality. And I want to share my opinions with bitches strong enough to take them. Because if you like them, that's your opinion. If you don't like them, that's your opinion. There's no good or bad to that. You could say, Mama, everything you're saying is shit, and I disagree. Or you could say, Mama, that hit home with me. I feel you. I hope that we meet in the middle of being like, yo, I'm a woman and I relate. That's what this entire podcast is about. Right? Finding a space to relate, but also coming against the crazy ass shit that the white man media slams down your fucking throat. And so, point of this episode: your eggs aren't dry. You're not rotten. Look, no one likes to have a miscarriage. My third miscarriage was the worst, to be honest. My first one I was happy because it was the guy I had abortions with. And it's so crazy. Like after I was married to someone that we had like really careful sex because he impregnated someone, and I couldn't even imagine because I wasn't, yeah, I never just let any guy just like blow in me and he didn't. And then it went on and on, and then we didn't have sex for the last four years of my marriage. Talk about that another time. That was one thing. And then my second husband, I'm just like, fuck me full, fuck me full, shoot it up, shoot it up. But I didn't want to get that because I personally am one of those conts that will be like, dude, that doesn't suit me. I don't want to have a metal rod in my vagina. I don't want to eat some hormones. I wanted to trust. I really wanted to trust someone. And he proved to me that I could not trust him. And it resulted in a couple abortions and a miscarriage and all that went down with this one motherfucker. And then on to my next husband, two miscarriages, which were a blessing in hindsight because he was crazy. Shout out to the military. Uh, as somebody who actually has diagnosed, I've been diagnosed with complex PTSD. We'll get into that as well. But no one, I've never actually connected with people on a trauma level than the veterans, as you can imagine. And so I had this really wild relationship with this guy for two years and it was out of control. Anyways, I cried through both those losses. The second one was horrible. I literally was like sitting on a toilet and had like a fucking plum-size something just like slap into toilet. It was awful. And I have no family, right? I'm estranged from my family. I was living 10,000 miles out of the States, literally with nobody, and that will fucking stick with me for m like forever. Horrible. And then it was like I just shut myself down and I was like, I'm not, I'm not gonna do anything anymore. And I guess this is where the safety of the egg freezing, of the, hey, Wendy, you have my baby for me because I can't be fucked. Like, I guess there's a certain safety in that. Perhaps I'm the wild, wild west. There's no safety in my fucking life, dude. I got no net. So, anyways, after the abortions, after my miscarriages, I'm talking walking proof of like, am I gonna fucking have kids? Wait, you crazy right now? Like, the fuck is that? Like, hell, nah. Also, my body's broken, right? I'm going to I'm gonna be punished karmically for abortions. I did think that way, which was crazy. Not that I'd be punished, like, I'm not talking about a scolding God, but I'm like, man, if this is how I wrote it, because I do believe that you fucking we walk what we write. I'm like, damn, dude, like that's a motherfucker. And then the miscarriages I didn't see, I'm like, wow. And so after going through all that, I was essentially just like a little fetal piece of fuzz on the ground, like wound up. Like, can the world stop hurting me? Because we got stories to get into, honeys. Sisters. My wives. Anyways, this is only episode three. So as far as episode three goes, fucking abortions, fucking miscarriages, me being like, well, that's the world settling the score. If I fucking had a couple abortions, then I'm gonna have miscarriages, right? That's a fucked up way of thinking, but that's actually how I thought. I'm like, all right, well, and in a way, I was relieved. I'm like, okay, it's balanced out. Fuck. Like, I shouldn't have done this, this happened, da-da-da-da-da-da. Living it alone, no family, no friends. Real talk. Nevertheless, out of nowhere, my husband appears in a wild, wonderful way. We just started making love. Like we really just made love every day, sunup to sundown, for two years straight. And the next thing you know, I had two kids, which is wild. So let's let's phrase it again. My babies are one-year-old and three-year-old. Their birthdays are coming, but they are currently one and three. And I put my eggs in the trash. I was like, dude, this is fucked up, man. I'm like, I'm having abortions because I can't even stand this dude now. Like, I feel like I should be with this guy, but I'm having miscarriages. And then meanwhile, he turns out to be fucking psychotic. And those miscarriages were actually protection to me, literally, in hindsight. At the time, though, didn't fucking feel like it. And also, not an nowhere, I have this like intoxicating love for a stranger that found me when I was living in the fucking middle of nowhere in Australia in a big empty house with three dogs. It was wild. I'll tell that story another time. Bottom line, we're gonna wrap it up. Your eggs aren't rotten. Don't put yourself through it. Fuck your husband. Fuck your partner. Get some sperm and shoot it up. Have a couple goes until you forfeit to something crazy. And people are like, oh, it's not crazy because the you know, Caucasian media, male media has it's fucking crazy, dude. Like, you don't have to do that to yourself as a woman. You probably don't. And you know what? If you miscarriages are fucking common. Like, unfortunately, sometimes it happens. Sometimes it's like, oh shit. And what are you gonna do? Resteal your whole life? Oh, I had a miscarriage, resteer, I had a miscarriage. I'm gonna just like pay this girl$100,000 and shoot it up at her and see what happens. Guess what? She might have a fucking miscarriage as well, bitch. I just don't I don't understand. Petri dish life is not necessary. And say I'm fucking hating. I said what I said. You don't have to put yourself through that much work, dude. It shouldn't like getting pregnant shouldn't be traumatic at all. And having a perception that it is like and having a thought, if you're an 18-year-old girl and it's like, ah, I don't want to have kids till I'm 40, freeze my eggs, like the fuck? Like it it actually doesn't make sense. And even if you're the the most common, because these are the girls that are a decade out of your mama, right? They are literally a generation below me, and they all seem to believe in their 30s that they have to pay tens of thousands of dollars for some kind of fucking egg freezing, fertility treatment, all this kind of shit that you don't even fucking need. You literally do not need it. So, anyways, if I can get any message across to all my bitches, to all our sisters, to all our listeners, BD BD, honey, your eggs are not rotten. They're not rotting out of your body, dude. Like you, 99% chance you're a fucking fertile queen. Maybe it's 97% chance, but guess what? It's a good one. It's very likely that you can get naturally pregnant. And people are like, oh, you're yucking my yah. I just want to get fucking, I just want Carla to have my baby. I just want to get shot up with some shit. That's fine. There are, however, uh things attached to that. Like, I don't know. If all of a sudden I grew up one day and looked and I can't stand my fucking mother, I'd probably be happy. I'd be like, oh thank god I came from her. That makes sense. But at the end of the day, science is science. It's all gonna like like I just feel like keep it simple, right? Keep it simple, stupid. I think that's some kind of like software. Like do if your calling is to be a mother, if you're like fuck and and I don't think it's a calling, I just think it's fucking science. I feel like women are the more powerful fucking most powerful species, best of the best. Life would not literally just not exist without us. Guys can say that, like, oh yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but I don't know. This is the Bitch Don't Be Dumb podcast. This is a podcast for women, so we're gonna fucking take our flowers and say, uh, we matter more, we carry it for nine months, we like drop it out the hole. Like all these things that happen is is very Neanderthal. I get that, but it's your body's natural process. And as someone who's like, you know, love my recreational drugs when the time is right, love like let's get fucked up when the time is right, but there's also a time to just like give your body a chance to do its thing. So if you're fucking 30 years old or 35, like freeze my eggs, like fucking what? Like, what are you worried about? Do you really think did Rupert Murdoch convince you that your eggs are dry when you're 37? Because they're fucking not. They're not. I am not a random exception, I'm just a voice. Heaps of women have babies in their 40s since the dawn of fucking time. Like since forever. But what is the press gonna talk about? What's gonna be on the news.com fucking site? They're gonna tell you your eggs are rotten. I'm here to say they're not. That's episode three. Love, love, love, love. Babies, if you want to have if you babies want to have a baby, get on the dick, get on it, ride it, love it, roll it, do it, swing it around, bitch. Get the dick in you and give yourself a chance before you put yourself through what IVF will do, what having some other random bitch like birth your kid for whatever reason will do. Like, those are lifelong shits. It's not just a snap-your-finger solution. If you actually physiologically need and require that to live out your karma, to live out your life, then fucking do it. I am not here to say no. I'm here to say nine out of ten motherfucking times, it is not necessary. Yo, you love a man, you can see your children in his eyes. I'm gonna tell you, spread the flaps and get them clapping. That's episode three, Benny. Five and flaps.