Burkas Are Fucked

Burkas Are Fucked is a no-apologies rant about control disguised as “culture.” Yo Mamma goes straight for the lie at the center of modesty politics—when women’s bodies are treated as problems to be covered, managed, and erased. This episode calls out forced modesty, fake feminism, and the way religion and patriarchy team up to police women while pretending it’s protection. It’s blunt, uncomfortable, and very much not here to be polite. If you’re tired of watching women bend while men stay free, this one’s for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

You're tuned in to BD B D. Bitch, don't be dumb. I'm your mama, no daddies allowed. Hello. My ladies, my beaties, my bitches. Happy Christmas Eve and welcome to episode six of the Bitch Don't Be Dumb Podcast.

SPEAKER_02: 0:41

Beattie Beattie, I'm your mama, you're the beaties, shit's about to get real. Strap in. This week's episode is appropriately called Burkas are fucked.

SPEAKER_01: 0:55

I don't care if you spell it with a Q, if you spell it with a K.

SPEAKER_02: 1:01

Um women don't have to cover their fucking head. They don't have to cover their face. They don't have to drape themselves in some fabric and then brainwashedly say uh it's for the Lord. No. Men with small penises who try to control women like fucking cattle. Like treat them like what? I'm gonna cover my what? Alright. I understand that my sisters in the Middle East are oppressed. Our sisters, women, I know there's all there are all these dudes watching this podcast, commenting on this podcast, mate. This is not for you. Women, our sisters need us. And we're powerless because you know, we're oppressed, we can't really do much. But in doing what I can do and what I have is a fucking voice. And so I'm gonna use my voice to introduce this episode as burkas are fucked. Don't be some American bitch. I love the I love the American hoes. Talk about, I love my burqa. Word, why don't you go to fucking Iran and tell me how much you love your burqa, you asshole. Honestly, at the end of the day, everybody should be free. There is no, and it's certainly not on God's clock. I don't care if it's your God, your Buddha, your bloody Allah, whoever the fuck. JC. Women are free, in my understanding, and I consider myself a pretty motherfucking evolved bitch. You know what I'm saying? Let's talk about evolution. Let's talk about progression. Let's talk about I don't know, equality. Are you fucking kidding me? Look, American women a lot of the time take for granted their freedoms. That's not fucking throwing shade, people be like, oh you bitch, you're blowing smoke. It's actually true. Like, at the end of the day, um, many of my American sisters aren't even aware of how free they are because they haven't actually like stepped outside of that standard. And I'm not fucking hating on them for that. I'm not here to be like, bitch, no, it's just a reality of existence. Like, I have four sisters, they're all fucking morons, and none of them have any idea what's going on in life. Like, as far as they're concerned, as long as they can drive their SUV to stop and shop, it's fine. But I have a bit of a you know, broader perspective, just based on the bitch I was born to be. And you know what? Bitch, you were never born to be. You were never born to cover your face. You're not born to walk in some fucking head-to-toe, cover up, goddamn, oh, they put this cape over me. So what the fuck? Oh, I can't go outside without this. Are you kidding me? No. Capital, no. These dudes. The way they want to oppress you, and then everyone's like, oh, you can't say that because it's like it's their religion. No, fucking bitch, dude. It is not their religion. Do you think these girls were born to be like, dear God, do you know what I want? I want to just walk around with some shit over my face and have no rights ever. Because that's what I deserve. Hell to the na. Oh, and also, I don't want to be able to go to school. I don't want to be able to work, and I don't want to be able to ever leave the house without some dude that probably married me when I was 10. Now, you don't want to fucking hear it? Listen to another episode. This is your mama for my women, my ladies. Our sisters need acknowledgement. They need to be recognized. That shit is fucked up. That shit is so fucked up. I'm not saying that needs military invention. I don't I don't even know what the fuck to do. I'm not saying anything. This is your mama. I'm not saying shit. I'm just, I'm here to entertain lady. I'm here to just like, you know, make a circle of conversation. Pull up a chair, bitch. That's why I'm here. But I will not ever say. Ever. As a grown-ass woman that really has walked my own walked and struggled my own struggles independently. The keyword is independent. You know what I don't have? A goddamn fucking cloth over my fucking head-to-toe shit. Oh, I can't even show, I can't do anything. The furkas are fucked. Episode six, babies. Welcome. I hope you're having a good week. I hope you're preparing for the holiday season. Christmas! I'm celebrating Christmas. And you know what? I'm gonna fucking say Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas! I'm gonna say happy Hanukkah! Happy Hanukkah! Merry Christmas! Because that's my culture, and I'm allowed to say that. And guess what? The Jewish women and my Christian friend, no, no one's wearing a fucking burqa. People are like, oh, you're Rossist against the Muslims. I don't give a fuck. I don't actually care what your religion is. It doesn't matter. Let me tell you something. However, you identify your religion is irrelevant. Alas, if part of your religion is like, oh, by the way, bitches can't show their face, then I have a fucking problem. Then I really have a problem. If the Catholic people were like, oh, by the way, women just cover your ass and fucking get married when you're 12. I wouldn't like it. But it's so funny how I get stoned if I'm like, if I put my hand up and I'm like, I don't think women should have to cover their body. Crazy. I'm listening to the Twilight Zone music in my own head. Maybe some of you are as well. It's pretty fucked. Like, men are holding on to power as hard as they can. We're gonna have an episode called Women Have No Rights, because I do believe that. Fundamentally speaking, women and children have no rights as it fucking is. If you really look at the world, it doesn't matter if you're wearing a burqa or not. Like, like broad scope, women don't actually have any rights. But that doesn't mean we have to walk around with a motherfucking cloak ass blanket covering my shit. There's nothing empowering about that. And I'm not gonna let some fucking small dick danny try to tell me anything different. Look at these nasty dudes, these fucking 40-year-old dudes marrying like 12-year-olds. Like, that's reality, yo. Everyone's like, oh, you can't say that. It's a fucking truth. If you don't like the truth, listen to another podcast. You are in the wrong ass place. You're in the wrong place. Burkas are fucked all over the spot. You know what women belong in? Women belong in like silk stockings, form fitting women are allowed to wear, should be. And it's so nuts that I have to actually like say this. And it's weird. I'm not sure how many of you have even thought about it. Drop it in the comments. Most of my comments are from dudes that just like said inappropriate, stupid pictures. But if you guys, my ladies, the beadies, tell me how you feel. Like, when did it become not okay for me to say I'm not cool with my sisters having to cover their fucking shit? Meanwhile, if you look at places like Iran, if you look at places like Afghanistan, these bitches don't want to fucking be covering up. Are you crazy?

unknown: 9:23

They fucking don't.

SPEAKER_02: 9:24

They really don't. And then you get like the white man media that's like, oh, they're they're fine, it's fine. Like they don't they don't care. They fucking do care. They actually care. They care. They're too concerned to speak about it because they'll get an ass whooping of a lifetime. Like they may or may not get killed. And that's real. That's not a fucking joke. I'm not, I'm not making it. You know what the joke is? The joke is when you get the bitches in the United States of America, the freest land on earth, that are like, oh, I like to wear my burqa so comfy. Great bitch, stay inside. Like, go inside, stone yourself. Like, do something that's going to make you feel as vindicated as you need to. Try to speak out against them. Knock it off. Burkas are fucked. Bitch, don't be dumb. Why? Here's an idea. Let's keep burkas. You know what? Let's flip the script. I think burkas are great. If men wear them, men should wear burkas. And then women can fucking drag them around and be like, do this and do that. Like, that's the fucking that's the new new. That's where a burqa is appropriate. If a dude has a burqa on, it's fine. Women do not need to cover their goddess nature, their beautiful everything.

unknown: 10:51

Knock it off.

SPEAKER_02: 10:53

Stop trying to normalize oppressing fucking women. Don't hide it in your religion. Don't hide it in your fucking demographic. Don't hide it in your nation's borders. Knock it off. No one deserves that. And I love how like we complete we divide the world. Men, women, and children. That's how it's divided, period. Which isn't really true because there's a lot, there's a lot crazier shit going on than that. But generally speaking, it's like a men, women, children moment. Great. Women don't need to fucking women and children are fine. Women and children don't need to cover themselves at all. They can just run free, let their hair blow in the breeze, and let the light of the Lord shine on their face, give them freckles and light their skin. Get warm with that heat. And you know who can cover themselves from head to toe? Fucking drop kick dudes. These loser scumbag nasties. Seriously. Like, I am happy to have sons, and I've said this in earlier episodes. I have two children, they're boys, and not only am I I am selfishly relieved of the stress in having to raise a girl because women have no rights. I can't wait to do that episode. It's coming because we don't. Okay? Let me tell you something. As long as there is a square mile on this planet where fucking women cannot go outside unless they are covered head to toe, women have no rights. Period. And you're like, oh, they like it. Oh, it's their religion. Oh, they want to do this. Dude, for all these fucking bitches. Oh no, I like the ones that are like, oh, it's my hijab. So they're not like, they're not full on enough to do the full burqa cover my face, you know, with their Q or a K or however the fuck. They're not that hard, but they're just like, oh, I want to put on some eyeliner and a fucking headscarf and like be exotic. No, bitch. You are representing the wrong thing. You are not a girl's girl. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Bitch, don't be dumb. Seriously. You know what? Don't be religious at all. I don't give a fuck about religion. I don't give a f seriously. I have a relationship with God. If you do or if you don't, it doesn't matter. But you know what does matter? If some dude in the desert is telling you you gotta fucking put a towel or a blanket or a burqa or whatever the fuck, you can't go outside. Can you imagine how hot that I mean I realize it's probably like linen. I mean, shout out to all the women that are actually like fucked and having to wear it because they design the best style. They're like, oh, at least I'm not that hot. I feel like it looks a lot hotter than it is, but that doesn't fucking matter. And by hot I mean temperature. Fuck the bullshit. And why aren't I allowed to say that? Let's get there. Like, oh, by the way, oh, this bitch, she's a racist. You're Rossist anti-religion bitch. No, honey, I am a pro-female woman, woman, real bitch. This is your mama. Yo mama. Are you kidding me? When I say to anybody, particularly in the context of their daughter, oh, she looks great. You know what? She'd look better with a fucking blanket over her face. I mean. It's actually insane. And the fucked up thing is being powerless, right? Because what the fuck am I gonna do about it? I you know what I'm gonna do about it? I'm gonna fund my own podcast, and I'm gonna stand for my Iranian sisters, my Afghanistan still, my sisters that are out there with the shit that can't have a voice because you know they'll get fucking killed. I'm here to say, fuck that shit, dude. Fuck that shit. No girl would be like, hey, you know what I feel like? Completely having to cover myself head to toe anytime I go outside. And you know what's even better? I can't leave the house without like a keeper. Like, I need some fucking dude to like drag me around because I have no rights. Now, no one is saying that. And I get so enraged by these assholes that pop up, and they're in Congress over here. I mean, I'm not gonna get political, but these fucking people are in Congress. So you we're all aware of like my gaggle of husbands and my third military husband, he's like, the enemy's on the inside, the enemy's on the motherfucking inside. So for anybody in the United States, for all of my girlfriends, for all my sisters, for all the beaties, if any fucking bitch in this country has the audacity to turn around and be like, I like to cover my face to me. You know what? You like to cover your face, go to Iran! If you like to cover your fucking self that much, move to Afghanistan. I will buy, I'll buy your ticket. I really will. We'll do a fundraiser, we'll make it happen. Fuck off. Women should not have to do that for any reason whatsoever. And there's nothing that anybody can say to make me feel differently because I'm a liberated yank and I'll say it. Yo, I'll fucking say it all day. Friendlies, beaties, let's do it. Bottom line, you do not can you imagine like it makes me sick. I mean, we all have our own levels of tolerance, right? Like, you have to kind of like numb yourself to survive on Earth. And it's true. I mean, if we I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, and I want the podcast to be like, you know, edgy, uplifting, make you think a little bit. Um, all I'm saying is I don't imagine any circumstance where a female creature in their right mind would be like, you're right. One that hasn't been indoctrinated, one that hasn't been brainwashed, one that hasn't been abused, one that wasn't married off when they were fucking 12, 10. Um, no one is going to be like, hey, you know what I want to do? Fucking drop a black drape over me and toss me in the middle of the desert. Now. No one's gonna say that. And the women that do. So there's a burqa versus a hijab, right? Fuck them both. Like the epit this episode is called like, you know, fuck your burqa, but fuck your hijab as well. Don't walk out with a scarf on your head and some eyeliner. I love that. I'm so modest. Let me get this straight. You're wearing a hijab because you're modest, but you got your fucking face caked in black eyeliner. So the Lord likes your makeup? Like it's very confusing to me. It's contradictory, and I understand because being brainwashed to that point must be stressful. Because I'm a free bitch, baby. I am not brainwashed, and that's why this is a dangerous podcast. And that's why I already know the beaties will find me and check in. Check in, bitches! And if you really want to laugh, have a look at the TikTok comments because these dudes can't help themselves. All I'm saying for this week is burkas are fucked. Burkas are completely fucked. There is no rationale. And watch, I hope I, for my own entertainment, I want some bitch to drop in the comments. Oh, I love my burqa so much. No, you're not bitch. You just brainwash. You're a brainwashed bitch. You are literally a brainwashed bitch. Like, again, let's flip it on the dudes. So the dudes have to wear burkas, all the dudes have to walk around. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Like, ugh, the whole thing is like so derogatory and so disgusting and so fucked up. And the way that like earthlings have attempted to like overcome oppression in various ways, right? Like, let's overcome racism. Oh no, I only speak from I'm American people. I'm fucking third generation. Well, let me think. I got like many European relatives, also, like, anyways. I'm a human being. I'm an American woman, an Australian woman. I got dual citizenship. You know why? Because I could do that on my own. You know why? Because I got rights and freedom. You know why? Because I'm not fucking running around with a burqa on, waiting for some dudes to tell me what I'm allowed to go outside. What the fuck? Like, honestly, knock it off. So crazy. I'm not gonna sit here. Stop normalizing burkas. Like, serious, like word? I feel like burkas are fucked is the best like episode title, but you know the whole stop normalizing ass eating? Stop normalizing burqa, it's same fucking shit. I think that those are all cut from the same cloth, if you will. It's a long black one that you gotta trek around fucking sawdy, right? Anyways, um, I'm all about religious freedom. This is not because I already know. Everyone's gonna be like, oh, this bitch hates fucking Muslim people. She hates any random voodoo religion that has to like cover the woman, like any religion that oppresses women and makes them cover themselves head to toe, you hate. I fucking kind of do. Like I actually kind of do. If that makes me against a religion, then yeah, like I don't like religions that oppress people. Doesn't matter if they're oppressing women or men or children, like no. And one example of a religion that oppresses bitches, point blank. Stop being politically correct. Get real. Just be real. Let's all be real, ladies. Never mind you weird dudes that are listening to this women's only podcast. Um yeah. Don't cover your face. And if you want to cover your face, if you're feeling some kind of way, I like that makes me sad for you because I think that you should think a little bit more highly of yourself. But if that's in your own way, if that's really what you want to do, that's what you want to do. But honestly, the American bitches that are over here, like, oh, I do it for this. No, you don't fucking bitch. You do it to make a statement, you do it because you don't know what it's like to grow up in a place where you actually are forced to do that by some fucking perv dude who's your keeper.

SPEAKER_01: 22:17

Like you're not allowed to go to school.

SPEAKER_02: 22:21

Come on. I can't. I just I cannot, I will not, and I'm gonna run my mouth for Ur. But I feel that on Christmas Eve, I just want to send one message as episode six winds down. I'm a little bit fired up, vicious beaties, beaties, I'm a little bit fucking fired up. It's an emotional topic. Like, I can't stand it. I don't buy it. I do not genuinely believe outside of my spirituality, because that's a whole nother episode, that's a whole nother fucking podcast. My beliefs, please. You think I'm coming for you for your beliefs? Get the fuck out of here. Like, this whole like, oh, you don't like Muslim people because you don't want women to be oppressed in Iran. Uh I just feel like girls should show their face. I feel like, especially when you got that sexy ass long black hair, let them live. Let our sisters in other countries that are not as liberated as the United States of America, which is pretty much every single fucking country on earth. Let them live, dude. You can't take it. And the big joke is the punchline is that once I speak out against it, then it's like, oh, you're evil. Oh, you're you hate Muslim people, you hate the Quran, uh, you hate religion, you hate mate. You don't know nothing about me. But I know about women because I'm a 47-year-old woman that has lived a fucking serious life, and I have a vagina. And so I'm allowed to comment that uh do not ever tell any of my sisters to cover themselves up. And my sisters that are like, I want to cover myself up. Fuck you. Like, yeah, whatever, dude. Like, no, you fucking don't. You're just being stupid. You're literally being an idiot. Like, I'm all for like go against the norm, like fight the power and shit, take the opposite side. Let's let's like, you know, I don't know, ruffle some feathers. These bitches are fucking idiots. Morons. There's nothing more insulting to me than watch some kind of and not that I watch it often, because Lord knows I don't give a fuck about please. Politics schmolitics. But when I watch these fucking girls, I won't even say they're women, because if you have if you're covered up, then you're a little girl to me. Yeah. Because I do believe in God, sister, and you know what? My God doesn't give a fuck if you got a towel on your head or not. You don't need to wear some kind of blanket face. You sure as fuck don't need to cover earth, but it's just so stupid. Like, especially in the States, it's so fucking annoying. Like, these bitches want to bring this shit in to say, oh, this is how it is. No, it's not, dude. Like, this country's built on a whole different foundation. So if you have no way of feeling unique other than just trying to be controversial and fucking put a hijab on. It's still a lot of burqa. How many bitches have you seen in the street with a burqa? Not that many, but the hijabs are real. But then, of course, they have face makeup. That's the funniest part about it to me. That's the most it's like, oh, it's for modesty. So is my eyeliner and my foundation. No, bitch. Like, I just anyways. You're not evolved. Take it off, dude. Take it off. Take it off. Free your mind. You're, you know, keeping oxygen from your brain. Like when it's cold, it was very cold today. I'm in the northeast, fucking New York, freezing. Had to put a hat on, but you know what? I don't wear the hat every fucking day. I don't wear the hat in the middle of the summer. I don't wear the hat because God told me to. You fucking out of your mind? What the fuck is wrong with you? So yeah, I feel like I'm gonna wind it down from there. Burkas are fucked. Don't get it twisted. And hijabs are no fucking better. So free your hair, free your head, stop conforming to a man's doctrine. Stop letting men tell you what to do. Because bitch, don't be dumb. You didn't come out the womb and be like, oh, I'm gonna put the scarf on my fucking head. You did because you were in a man-doctrinated society that fucking made you do it. And then you just obeyed. And then you want to fucking tell me what to do? Bitch, don't be dumb. Knock it off. If you have nothing better to do with your life than wear that rag, I hope the next, because I do believe in reincarnation. So let's say a prayer. Let's all amen for our fucking not our because honestly, I would confidently say, as a woman connected to women, 99.9% of these bitches do not be wearing that shit. That's why I get so annoyed by these assholes that come to the states and are like, oh, I'm so so I'm so free to put this on. Anyways, bitch, don't be dumb. Um do better. Represent female rights. Stand for women's freedom. Women should be free, children should be free, not in an oppressed, owned, fucked up kind of way, but like actually just like you know, free. I think that's something to aspire to in 2026. Inspire to uh aspire. That's something to aspire to in 2026, everybody. Woo! So that said, uh 24. Oh my goodness, New Year's Eve is the next show. I don't even know. Um I can't do that. I'm pretty sure it's so. I'll talk to you all next week. I love you, I miss you. Don't wear a burka, don't hate on our burqa wearing sisters. Like, pray for them, I guess. But if you got a heat job and some eyeliner, fucking in America, like think about it. Anyways, Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas. Have a wonderful rest of the year. I can't wait for let me tell you, 2025 was a drag for me. Maybe we'll do some kind of like year reflection when the new year comes, because I can't fucking wait to bury this year. I'm done with this year. 2025 can suck me. But 2026, pick up sticks, baby. Here it comes, here it comes. I'm so excited. So yeah, um, stop trying to normalize burkas. And I also have my fucking share feels about fucking hijabs, but for this episode is just like women do not need to be covered up. No one is allowed to tell a woman to be covered up. Women are not born wanting to be covered up, you're not born with a goddamn blanket head to toe. That's the end of the story. That's all I gotta say. Love you, love you, love you.

SPEAKER_00: 29:43

Speak soon be Mary. Happy Christmas and hunt.