Fuck Yo Diamonds

This week, your mama is not hating — she’s offering perspective.

In Episode 9 of Bitch Don’t Be Dumb, we talk about wealth, value, and the obscene performance of excess in a world where regular people are worried about rent, food, and survival. From billionaires parading 100 carats of diamonds on red carpets to the media machine that normalizes inequality and calls dissent “jealousy,” this episode pulls apart the lie that status equals worth.

We get into diamonds, private jets, celebrity culture, and why being uncomfortable with what’s shoved in your face doesn’t make you a hater — it makes you awake. We talk about illusion vs. value, money vs. meaning, and why soul, freedom, and connection matter more than anything money can buy.

Raw, angry, funny, and unapologetic — this episode is a reminder that you’re not crazy for seeing through it, and you don’t need to sparkle to matter.

Fuck your diamonds.
Don’t drop it. Don’t stop it.
Bitch, don’t be dumb.

Music by Nathan Wills

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

You're tuned in to BDBD. Bitch, don't be dumb. I'm your mama. No daddy's allowed. Episode nine. Yo, fuck yo diamonds. You know what I'm saying? Hey, hey. Beattie beaties. Don't drop it. Don't stop it. This is the bitch. Don't be dumb. Do not be dumb podcast. We are approaching episode nine. And this episode is called Fuck Yo Diamonds. So, fuck your diamonds. Yo mama. Mama, what's fuck your diamonds? Fuck your diamonds has a broad scope, a wide uh level of interpretations and influences. But you know, I just saw today, again, without naming any names, because your mama learned my lesson. I got a little bit fucking dirty in episode one to three. I was out of control. I was calling these people by name. I was like fact-checking shit. No. No, now we're just speaking hypothetically. Fair enough, this was an actual story on page six today. And y'all know I read page six because your mama does New York City like a motherfucker. So I'm reading page six. I think it was the Golden Globes that just happened. I wouldn't know anyone. If someone you could hold a gun to my head and be like, I will kill you if you can't name a gold I would and I would die. I would actually get killed because I don't know what I have. Yeah, the fuckery of the no faces that do nothing. Yeah, I don't pay attention. But what I did see, because I do read page six, was like, oh, this bitch has a hundred carats of diamonds on her. Are you fucking like here's the thing. Not only did this particular person, who I will not name names, the person that was wearing a hundred carats of diamonds, is consequently a billionaire. So my question is this bitch, don't be dumb. Being a billionaire is not enough for you. Like, take your money and run, cunt. That is literally one of my mantras. Like, if you are high like in this day and age, in the United States of America, I don't know. I feel like shit is expensive. If you have more than like$10 million, fuck off. If you have more than$5 million, go away. If you have more than$5 million, stop trying to be relevant. Like put it in a fucking investment land, like open a shop for yourself, give it to your babies, like do something. But like if you have a if you have a if you are a billionaire and you can't find a way to be relevant outside of going to a public film event, which has fucking nothing to do with you, because Lord knows you're not a cinematographer. Anyways, and then you're just gonna take all these diamonds that these brands put on you and be like, oh, I woke up like this. Oh shit, I have a have a yo fuck you. Like honestly, it's so horrible. And your mama has shared with my beaties, my adult years have dead ass been split between the United States of America. Actually, excuse me, they've been split between Midtown Manhattan and Australia, like even Stevens, right? I was like, I was a young one in this in the sticks of Connecticut, the sticks being like 70 miles out of Manhattan. But, anyways, my Jersey parents raised me out there. I grew up the right way. I continue to carry on. All I'm saying is this diamonds are essentially mined by child slaves. Now, I do have diamonds on my hand, I'm not gonna lie. I bought them for myself. Seriously, and it's an antique French band of diamonds. So I feel like maybe child labor was less back then, and if it wasn't, fuck me. Okay, I'm not here to say like my antique French band is more important. Actually, I'm here to say I'm a fucking loser for wearing that diamond ring. Like, and I kind of feel like that. I bought it for myself, I wear it on my finger. It's like, the fuck? My husband bought me an engagement ring, uh, which was debatably mined by slaves. Let me tell you something. This popular billionaire that wants to show up with 100 carats of diamonds on her. So, what's what's the supply line? Can we do that? I don't give a fuck about what golden globe you're rooting for. I want to know the supply line of your diamonds. You got a hundred carats of diamonds on you right now. Where the fuck did they come from? Can you do that? So you can make a billion dollars, but you don't know where the fuck those rocks came from, do you? Because you fucking don't. You actually, oh, they're sustainable diamonds, they're ethically sourced diamonds. Get fucked. Like they're really not. I've been bitching about coffee being expensive lately. Coffee's been very expensive. You know why? Because they're trying to crack down on the motherfucking slaves that they make, farm the shit. And that's fine. I'll pay if people are freed and I can pay more for coffee, no problem. You're not allowed to be a billionaire, rock up at the golden globes with a hundred carats of diamonds. Fuck you, dude. Honestly, like what a kick to the like to the skull, as we used to say in my day. Face kick, fuck yourself. Talk about some self-entitled bullshit. Oh, I'm a billionaire. I don't normally wear diamonds, but when I do, it's a hundred carats. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, they were only borrowed, and that'll be the argument, right? If I actually press this person face to face, they'd be like, I didn't know because I only wore the diamonds from those people. Bitch, don't be dumb. Like, how much attention, how much money do you fucking need? I don't need your diamonds, I don't need your attention, I don't need your money. I don't need your private jet. I'm just gonna put that out there. Hey, let me tell you. If a private jet pulled up right now and was like, get on, bitch, I'd be like, sure, I go for a ride, etc., etc. But I'm broke ass bitch. This is your mama, I'm poor. I'm broke like the rest of y'all. That's the point of this. Like, why do we have to have rich people shoved down our throat? And whilst said rich people are being shoved down our throat, why do they have to be draped in diamonds at the same goddamn time? Can someone tell me that? It's like it's disgusting enough that if I want to take a peek into pop culture, I'm inevitably gonna get shit shoved up my throat that I clearly do not want to see. Alas, that part is already difficult. Now you're gonna drape your ass, your billionaire ass, in a hundred carats of diamonds, so Rupert Murdoch can clap his hands with his newspapers and be like, oh, so pretty. Um I'm so sarcastic, BDs. I'm I'm cautious with my words, curiously. Like, you think that I'm talking out of tongue? Play this shit is P this PG 13. I actually responsibly updated my Tiki Talk this week to be like, it's 18. I think the children should listen to your mama because I'm a thousand percent. There's an article on page six, literally today, to keep it timely, because it's some awards ceremony, and they're like, Oh, look, this rich bitch showed up with 100 carats of diamonds draped on her. How does that make you feel? Makes you feel angry, and then the man will say, Oh, you're always pissed off. Yeah, I fucking am. That's why I have this podcast. I am pissed. Women, girls, sisters, I am the voice of anger for women, womans for vulvas. You know what I mean? I'm like the angry vulva voice, and I'm here to tell you if you're a billionaire and you have the fucking nut to show up at a public forum wearing a hundred mate. It's so fucked off. You know what? I am gonna mention a name here, and you know whose name I'm gonna mention? Angelina Jolie. Precious princess. I put her next to Madonna. The only other goddess queen that we worshiped in my first eight episodes has been Madonna, but I'm gonna put Angelina Jolie right next to that bitch. So Madonna and Angelina Jolie, don't drop it, don't stop it. Thank you for being role models of reality. They're not showing up with fucking 100 carats of diamonds. What the fuck? Like, what the literal fuck? That's the new new? That's the youth? That's fucking depressing and insulting. Honestly, women, sis, it's fucking insulting. Like, oh, I have billions of trillions of dollars, and I'm fucking this like actor from New York, and I got knocked up by this like hip-hop star while I was sucking this other one off, and he gave me a Lambo when I was 12. Here's my carrots of diamonds. Bitch, don't be dumb. Like, what the fuck? And it's like everyone will be like, oh, you're such a Hades, you're a hater, you hate. No, you know what I hate? I hate the media. I hate Rupert Murdoch's newspaper. Jeff Bezos owns the Washington Post, Rupee owns like many newspapers. I I I'm not gonna say hate, because I do hate certain people, but I don't hate the white male media, but they fucking annoy me. So whilst I'm not hating you, white men, you fucking piss me off. Especially when you want to take these, I mean, the Golden Globes? Is that what it was? I don't even fucking know. Was it the Grammys? It might as well have been. Like, who the fuck cares about these award shows? Nobody! You know who cares? The networks. And so because the award shows are so irrelevant, I think it's the Golden Globes. I'm pretty sure. And you know, I couldn't fucking tell you. Is that movies? Is it television? I don't know. And I'm actually a screenwriter or a screw I'm a script writer, fiction writer, blah blah blah blah. Yo, mama writes some shit. But if someone tried to give me a golden globe, I'd be like, what the fuck is this for? Anyways, this rant of mine, this fuck yo diamonds moment. Although, have y'all seen, was it what was the movie Leonardo DiCaprio was in? Is it like Blood Diamond? Is it that was it called? Or like fucked, I don't know. Like, I feel that it's been pretty much tracked, clocked, as you will, at this point. Uh very broke children are enslaved digging up rocks on an assortment of continents. I don't know if we have diamonds in the States, but if we fucking did, there's probably some kid in shackles right now trying to fucking get them. Children's slaves or just women's slaves. Like, there are enslaved peoples right now trying to get diamonds. I'm saying that. And it makes me feel not good about the actually, you know what's funny? I'm fighting with my husband right now, so I don't have any rings on my hand. Hey, but when I do, it's like genuinely antique. And it doesn't make me above it. It just means that I'm not going on the Golden Globes as a billionaire wearing a hundred fucking carrots. Who wears a hundred carrots? Like, that's so fucking obnoxious, dude. Like, that is so extra. Seriously, like your billions of dollars weren't enough. Your fucking face is on every rag because you're banging this dude or that dude or whatever. Like, that's not enough for you. I just feel like fuck your diamonds. And it carries over to other things, you know, like private jets. Like, fuck your PJ. You can't get a first first class isn't good enough. Really? Because you you can't actually do bumps off of the stewardess's tray. So that's why you can't go first class. Like, let me get this straight. You need to have a private jet so that you can like suck some dude off who's gonna dump you before the plane lands, and that helps you feel relevant. I mean, I just I think it's weird. And I'm allowed to say that because this is your mama and it's the bitch don't be dumb podcast. So if you are a billionaire at an award show, already invited to the award show, already famous enough that your fucking face is gonna be here, there, and everywhere. And you're like, you know what I think I need to do? I need to wear 100 carats of diamonds to be relevant. Bitch, don't be dumb. Think about all the starving children in various nations that actually mined those diamonds. I want you to source your diamonds, bitch. Source them. Here's the thing. Are they economically sourced diamonds? I feel like the hundred carats of diamonds that you're wearing to the golden globes is as economically sourced or ergonomically or earthly nomically, like it's pretty much as good for the planet as your fucking private jet. Like, why do these people get to fly? That makes me laugh so bad. Like, don't follow these cons. Like, stop it. Don't drop it, don't stop it. Knock it off. This is a public service announcement. Women, like read page six, readpage six.com, new and they don't fucking sponsor me. Yeah, right. They would never, but all I'm saying is like, if you want to have not even TMZ, like look at page six just to be like, wow, that's what's actually happening because that is what's pretty much fucking happening. And because I look at page six every couple of days, I was unfortunately presented with a multi-billionaire wearing a hundred carats of diamonds to a fucking event that she had no place being at, bitch. Like, come on. It wasn't the Hulu Awards, put it that way. Maybe you can wear a hundred carats of diamonds to the Hulu Awards. It's like the Nickelodeon Awards, but ghetto. I am so beyond uh this like the inequality, the normalizing, stop normalizing inequality, right? Stop saying that having a hundred carats of diamonds is an aspiration for fucking what, dude. If like, yeah, I would like to be financially free. I'm strapped as much as anyone else. I'm not pissed off about it. I know my place and appreciate my role, and I believe in the Lord, so I'm very happy to sit in my corner. But what I'm not gonna do is make multiple billions of dollars, throw my face in the fucking spotlight, and be like, oh, look at all my dime's bitch. Fuck your diamonds, like fuck your diamonds. What is wrong with you? The fuck? And then you have like the kitties being like, oh, it's so normal. It's not fucking normal, it's crazy. It's very, very crazy. I mean, if you have, and let's face it, women, we are bred, you're not like you US women from my born culture. I'm a dual citizen. I spent half my life in Australia at this point, but I'm gonna speak on behalf of the states because this is where I was born. Diamonds are a girl's best friend, right? Let's do it, let's get it. Yada yada yada yada. A hundred carats, like what the f like, do you have to fuck you to everybody that hard? Like, do you have to make every single little girl in the world feel bad because her boyfriend did overtime to buy her a 0.75 ring? Like, what the fuck? And then do you have to also put it in the face of well, they can't see it because they have like no electricity and aren't even surviving, but then you're gonna just throw that out there to everybody else. Oh, and by the way, thanks for you guys that dug these up. Bitch, you are dumb. Bitch, don't be dumb. Bitch, you are dumb. BD BD, knock it off. Like the insult is real, it's real, it's fucking relevant. So, in terms of this episode, episode nine, still alive. This is a rhyme, but episode 9, it's episode 9, it's all mine. Episode, yeah. Episode 9 is yours, baby. And this is the message. The next time you see a billionaire nepotite, dude, is that how do we never even agree to how to pronounce it? Neophyte. The next time you see a honky, a privileged honky draped in diamonds at a bullshit event that no one cares about, do not feel bad about yourself. Just saying. The next time TMZ or People Magazine, or even page six, goddammit, the next time they put the shit in front of your face, you're gonna remember this episode. You're gonna think back to yo mama at episode nine and be like, you have a hundred carats of diamonds. How many fucking child slaves did it take to dig those shits up? And did you take your fucking private jet and suck out half the fucking ecosystem to go and check them out before you put them on? Or no, let me guess your bullshit fucking rapper boyfriend was in Dubai and he just like you know paid extra money for the slaves, had them do a few other things before he draped you in child sacrifice diamonds. Is that the child labor diamonds? I mean you can put that it's just like diamonds, diamonds, diamonds, but there's there's no prefix, right? There's no like child labor diamonds, child sacrifice diamonds. Um yeah, it's really gross. So on a separate note, it I am from a culture where diamonds are forever, and I hate to fucking say that. Like, talk about the contradiction, like it's so great. Come for me in the comments, everybody. The tiki tackie will go wild. It's like, okay, I understand diamonds are the devil. Fuck your diamonds. Alas, many cultures on this planet make them seem, you know, precious. And girls are raised to want them. Not really want them, but like respect them. To be real, I don't like the big ass, like this whole trend of like, oh, I got a three karat rock. Oh, my dimey's so big. Like, I'm not actually about it. I'm not really. Like I said, my diamond ring, I'm gonna fucking take a picture of it and put it somewhere, is classy and antique. And I will fucking tip my nose at that because it fucking is. Uh, that's not to say that like slaves didn't mind it. Again, it's a it's a complicated issue. It bothers me to get pegged as a hater because I'm not hating, I'm sharing perspective. Like, part of what motivated the inception of this podcast, part of why you're listening to your mama right now, is because I'm so tired of this paradox of like we're gonna force shit down everyone's throat, and if you don't like it, you're a hater. That's not true. Um, you're allowed to not like it. People in the United States of America are worried about their SNAP benefits getting pulled. They're worried about how they're gonna pay their rent next week. They're worried about, you know, like real human regular issues. They're not worried about watching some billionaire white privileged creature slop down a carpet with a hundred carats of diamonds on. Like it's very, very unfortunate and it's shocking, and it normalizes shit that should not be normalized. Stop normalizing billionaires wearing a hundred carats of diamonds. Like, it's really a kick in your face. Like, it's like, hey, everybody, if you didn't know that I was rich before, maybe you fucking do now. And I think that I've given a nod to this reality in other episodes, perhaps, but like the hyper, hyper rich people, like the real, real money maker, like the they're not, they're not doing that. Um they're above it. They're they're beyond. I like I am all for anyone and everyone getting their bag, but it's when you have to like grab everyone's face and crush it in your bag that I have a problem. Like, faces don't need to be ground into your bag to be relevant. If you make a million dollars, you don't have to like, you know, print it out, go to a homeless shelter, and wave it at those people. It's not necessary. You know what I'm saying? Like, I feel that when you throw yourself into the public eye just to like create this persona, just to like tell everyone, fuck you, I have money, it does not sit well with me. And that's not just because I'm a broke bitch. Trust me. Like, I had my heyday, I used to make a lot of money as a high-flying finance executive. And you know what I did? Took people out. You know what I did? I shared my money, which probably wasn't the smartest thing because now I'm poor, but the point is it's irrelevant to gas yourself up in a way that you just have to like have disgusting physical mirages like money, like diamonds. Like, what is the value of any of this? Right? I guess what I'm trying to say is fuck your diamonds. The value, there's everything is valueless unless somebody says it has value. Cryptocurrency. Yeah, I'm gonna make a dramatic shift to crypto right now, right? Let's talk about think about Bitcoin. What the fuck is Bitcoin? I hope you own some. Lord knows I do. But all I'm saying, it has value because people say that it does. Like that that is the illusion of wealth because all of us are rich. BDs, your mama, listeners, family friends. But we are wealthy beyond anything. We're sitting here right now sharing, ranting, being a smart ass in my instance, but I'm here with the freedom, capacity to do that. I've got two beautiful babies tucked into their warm beds and my little furry Australian healer at my feet. Like, I want for nothing. I talk a lot of shit because I think it's funny, and I hope it makes y'all laugh. That's the point. I'm not hating on anybody, dude, but if I'm confused by, for example, somebody having wealth beyond most people's understanding. And not only do we have to know that, because why the fuck do I even know what's in your bank account? Bitch, I don't care what's in your bank account. I don't give a fuck. I could not care any less about how much money you have. On God, put it on my grave. But it's bad enough. I know how much money you have because the media just regurgitates it and shoves it in my face to a point where, like, regardless of how I refrain and try to avoid your show, your family, your whatever, your whatever, it's still in my face. And you're like, no, that's not enough. I'm wearing 100 carats of diamonds right now. Like, in case you didn't know. In case you didn't get the memo before, here I am, bitch. Suck it sideways. I'm like, man, enough's enough. So the moral of this episode is as I continue my very long wrap-up for the week. Number one, disagreeing or not appreciating something that the media shoves in your face is completely fine. You are not a hater for not wanting some frivolous, irrelevant bullshit relating to someone's fucking status and bank account shoved up your asshole. Like, that's fine. That doesn't make you a hater. It doesn't mean that you're like a nasty person. It just means that maybe you're looking for deeper connections. Maybe we're here trying to build something bigger than a news story about people's money. Because that's really all that it is. I didn't see any homeless people invited to the Golden Globes. Are they in Florida? I mean, California, same thing. I mean, you know, it's like all of these people that put on these personas, I just think that's dated. Like, as the world progresses, I hope to God, by the time that my boys are my age, the Golden Globes are fucking canceled. People evolve beyond this media absorption and just stop feeding into this fucking nonsense, mate. Like, it's ridiculous. Diamonds included. Why does a diamond have value? Because the world decided it did. Because a jewelry company at one point was like, oh shit, you need this. And everyone's like, oh my god, we do. Me included. I have a diamond ring. I can't fucking lie. Gross. Maybe this whole episode is just me being like, ew, I need to like get rid of my diamond rings because it's nasty. And I would do that. But you know what? I'm not gonna do I'm not gonna go out wearing a hundred carrots of diamonds draped over me in this day and age. Get the fuck out of here, dude. You know what? Drape a hundred carrots on in private and fuck your boyfriend's face. Do that. But like, do you really have to parade them? Do you really have to have this like whole fucking public hoopla? Look at me, look at me, look at me. I've seen you enough. We've been forced to fucking look at you since you were like 12. Go away. Um, fuck your diamonds and be out. And for all of you loving your diamond rings, I can tell right now there's sisters that are looking at their hand, oh, but he loved me. I got these carrots. That's fine. Like, I think that I know that most of the time my thought press press, my thought press, my thought process kind of exceeds like, you know, ordinary conversation. But I just mean that try to have a diamond that was not mined by a slave. I challenge you to find one because uh it's not easy. And don't feel shit when the one percent grinds their wealth into your forehead, down your throat, up your ass. However, like don't take that on board. Just know that we are the bitch don't be dumb community. We are the women, we are the beadies, we are the real ones. Diamonds are secondary to your soul. You know what I'm saying? You're stronger than that, you're better than that. Remember that. Share this, tell everybody, your mama the hater. Let's get it out of there. I'm really not a hater. I'm really not a hater. I love you, I love you guys. Thank you for listening. I see y'all, shout out Hawaii, shout out Brooklyn, Leon, Tennessee, Florida. I see y'all. Love y'all. I will next week.