Rich People Hate Earth

This week on Bitch Don’t Be Dumb, we’re calling it exactly what it is.

Private jets. Superyachts. Billionaire bunkers. Space joyrides. Climate galas with helicopter pads.

You don’t get to lecture normal people about recycling while you burn more fuel in a weekend than most families will in a year. Stop shaming Janice for her plastic straw while someone lands a jet in Milan for fashion week.

If you loved the planet, you wouldn’t need an escape plan underneath it.

This episode isn’t anti-money. It’s anti-hypocrisy. Because extreme wealth doesn’t just buy comfort — it buys emissions, insulation from consequence, and the ability to pretend Earth is optional.

Rich people don’t hate the planet emotionally. They hate it behaviorally.

Bitch, don’t be dumb.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

You're tuned in to BD B D. Bitch, don't be dumb. I'm your mama. No daddy's allowed. We love outcast, right, beaties? Hey y'all. Hey y'all y'all.

SPEAKER_01: 0:31

Happy Wednesday. Tuesday night in this bitch. Cause you know, I try to keep it current. So the brilliance of this week's episode will launch in a couple hours, but I usually try to keep it one hondo and record on a Tuesday night. You know what I'm saying? Live time. That said, February 10th is a special day to me because it was my five-year anniversary from meeting my man. From the Tinder date moment, from the matching on Bumble, from the double profile match to the really cute pub date to like oh nostalgia, falling in love with this man and fucking his brains out. Still after five years is white hot. Welcome! Welcome to Bitch Don't Be Dumb, Beattie Beattie. This is your mama, y'all are the beaties, and every week we come together to discuss a pertinent topic. This week's topic. The title of this week's episode Rich People Hate Earth. And as normal, I will share my insights on this topic and let y'all have your own opinions and insights because this is a hate-free zone. I mean, it is a zone for biological women. I will say it. Um, I'm not allowed to say it or supposed to say it because you know women are oppressed. But, anyways, on my women's podcast, we are going to talk this week about how rich people hate the earth. So I've ranted on other episodes about like, take your money and run. Put that on my grave. I'm shouting it on the hill. Yeah, that's what my Valentines are gonna say. Like, take your money and go away. But the problem is, rich people can't do that, right? They're like, they have so much money, they're like, oh fuck, I have all this money. Now what do I do? I got billions from fucking this. I just sold a bunch of oil in the middle of nowhere. I just sold a bunch of oil in my cosmetics that I convinced teenagers to put on their face. I just sold oil plastic boxes. Fucking oil, hey. But anyways, I sold something. I made all this money. I am a billionaire, trillionaire. I'm a wealthy ass mofo. And you know what else? I fucking hate Earth. I hate the planet. They low-key all hate the planet. What is my logic? Number one, private jets. Come the fuck on. So you and I, sisters, are getting ridiculed because our tampons plugged the pipes because you fucking your diet coke bottle went in the normal garbage when you were hammered on 14th Street, and now you have to pay for that for the rest of your life because you killed the dolphins. Like essentially, us minions, us poor folk, we are constantly reminded that we're killing the planet. But we don't hate it. Because you know who hates it? Rich people. People in their private jets fucking hate Earth. Right? Like, you know the difference between a normal flight and oh, I just I have to take my airplane. I can't first class doesn't cut it. First class does not cut it. Um I've gone business class and it's pretty fucking nice. Private jets are the climate equivalent of like using a blowtorch to light a birthday candle. You could do that, but you could also just strike a wooden fucking match and then build a tiny house with it, bitch. Why do you hate Earth, rich people? Why is it? So a normal commercial flight, which we get on, right? We're going to fucking Mexico, we're going to Italy, we're going fucking, we're going to Scandinavia, wherever we're going, we're going to Russia. Getting, you got a special paper. My friends went to Russia. They had to get special papers, but anyways, they said it was amazing. We're going to Australia, 10,000 miles away. Wherever we're going, you get on a fucking airplane, and there's like 150, 300 people on that bitch. You're all in it together. Why do you have to go on a private jet with like two to ten people to use so much fuel? Like the per person emissions is what we're talking about. You get on the big airplane with 300 people, then you all hate the earth spread amongst 300 people. But if you spread it amongst like four people or ten people, then you hate the earth more. And the people that really hate the earth tend to have the money because they're the ones that are on those jets. You follow? That's only part of my theory. BDs, I'm going deep. We're going deep. I really, for many reasons, I believe your mama stands by the fact that rich people hate the fucking planet. Let's talk about their bunkers. Like, you got a billionaire bunker? Really? You are so up yourself, like, you're gonna kill the planet on your fucking private jet so that you can fly it back to your bunker. And then you're gonna go underground after, like, you have your panic room put together, or is it your luxury survival condo? Like, how do we wanna phrase it? You are literally, I'm gonna make this up. You can't make this up. You're flying your private jet to your underground bunker that's gonna cost like I don't know, a quarter of a mil or something. But then you have to get your special advanced bunker with your hydroponic food systems and arm security. I can't take it. Money is trash. Knock it off. Like, if you have a zillion bajillion dollars, just fucking disappear. I mean, I guess you could disappear in your bunker. It's corny as fuck, but if you want to go hide under the earth, that's cool. Go to your bunker and stay out of your plane. Okay? How does that sound? Because I'm tired of having to fucking recycle my diet coca cans when I'm hammered so that you can fly from Calabasas to Milan for a fucking fashion show. You dig? Are you following me, people?

SPEAKER_00: 8:56

This is bullshit.

SPEAKER_01: 8:59

Seriously. And I'm here to raise it for the women. We are not, you're not any less because you don't kill the fucking planet that hard, right? Like, I don't think that killing the planet and poisoning people makes anyone a better person. I mean, another way that rich, very wealthy people that are thrown in our face every day destroy the planet is their factories. So they pretty much crawl out of their bunker, get on their private plane, and then fly to their fucking factory in Shenzhen, which consequently has eight zillion tons of pollution pumped out per second because they don't really have the same environmental fucking standards that other places in the world do? No shade to China, like whatever. I'm just saying. Where are you doing business and how much is your panties, spandex, cosmetics, clothing, shoes, headphones, trash company spinning out into the environment every five minutes? Have you thought about that? Honeys? Um, my point is a lot of rich people don't. And you know why they don't? Because they fucking hate the earth. Bitch, don't be dumb. Rich people hate earth. I don't know if they maybe come from another solar system. Maybe they come from another land and that's why they're so fucking wealthy, right? Because they're like, oh ha ha ha. We're aliens from I don't even like sci-fi. I'm not trying to get all like Discord here, but you know, what are they like? They're aliens from tralala, and I don't know. Maybe I'm getting off topic. So where have we touched so far, BDs, in terms of rich people hating the earth? They hate the fucking earth because they have stupid bunkers with security and hydroponic gardens that probably kill the planet low-key. They hate the earth because they fly around in fucking private jets, which is so they will fly in a private jet to a um to a function they're putting on to save the rainforest. To their charity auction. I believe, not to mention any gentleman celebrities that would probably get on their yacht or female. We won't make it. Well, we're gonna hate on the men because it's a ladies' podcast. But like, you see the you see the dumb bitches doing this. Bitch, don't be dumb. Um, without naming names, there's definitely some people from Hollywood that are like, hey, save the rainforest in Brazil, and then they get on their fucking yacht and dump 8,000 fucking gajillion gallons of just pollution everywhere in the sky, in the ocean. How fucking much does a yacht actually kill Earth?

unknown: 12:15

Right?

SPEAKER_01: 12:16

In terms of things killing Earth, yachts are probably up there. Super yachts, mmm. Yeah, that's why you land your private jet on your super yacht, right? Because you hate Earth. It's very strange. We live in a wild time, right? Wild West. I believe that quite often human beings, earthlings, if you will, that get all this fucking money go crazy. Like money makes you stupid. That would have been the name of this episode, but I feel that rich people kill earth is more appropriate, considering they have all the money, and that's why they're so fucking stupid. How stupid are you? I wish I could say this person's name, but it's a new yo mama. What if we're getting up there? My episode's like we're we're we're marching towards episode 20. Right? And I mean, I think we have to do like 13, 14, 14. But anyways, it doesn't matter. We're on the way. We're on the way, and I'm learning and growing. We all are sisters, my beaties, my crew, my clique. Thanks for tuning in, by the way. Bitch, don't be dumb. Don't drop it, don't stop it. So, anyways, here we are. We've got billions of dollars. We're killing the planet with our yacht, we're killing the planet with our airplane, with our fucking bunker, with the factories that we're producing things in. We're also killing the planet. And then we have to have like all the cars, right? Like every fucking stupid car that could be owned is owned kind of by these people, right? By the rich people that hate Earth. So they're like, oh, I have to go and drive to my farm. And that's funny too. Oh, I just took my my private jet home so I could go to my farm. Uh because you hate Earth. Like, if you were really gonna farm to like, I don't know, don't farmers help the planet? I guess once upon a time, farmers are just like, we don't want to fucking die, so we're gonna farm. But this day and age, I think farming's supposed to be cute, right? It's supposed to like, I don't know, it's trendy, it's cute, it's like, oh, in the apocalypse, when I'm in my billionaire bunker, when when I'm in my bunker, I can eat my food. Um nevertheless, you're not allowed to take your private jet from your quote-unquote farm to the rainforest convention that you booked in the Amazon. Because you're gonna land in a shaved out fucking rainforest into your personal parking space and pump your shit full of whatever fuel you need to get the hell out of there as fast as you can, which you will because it's all up front, anyways. You don't give a fuck about the rainforest. If you gave a fuck about the rainforest, you would not be on a yacht. People that like rainforest don't ride yachts. And you know what? I'm fucking as much of a hypocrite as anybody else. I'd have to toss a coin. God damn it. I'd be like, I do like rainforest, but I also like yachts, and you know what? I'd have to cancel myself over that because it's kind of a bullshit argument, really. But I'm poor, so I think that I can like stand by being poor. Like, if you are fucking balls out loaded, so loaded, you don't have anything else to do but kill the planet. It's like, well, I just realized I can use the interweb to sell people everything from Asia. So now I'm gonna ride my super yacht with the helicopter pad and pretend that I live forever. Gross. Get it together. It wouldn't bother me if these people were not shoved down our throats. Like, when I look at the newspaper in general, I want to learn something about what's going on, and that doesn't really have to do with how much money XYZ has or how they fucking spent it. However, Rupert Murdoch, who owns like all of the everything, insists that I do have to know that. And so I have all of these stupid fucking rich people shoved in my face, constantly doing dumb shit. Contradictory shit. But the one thing it usually has in common is hating the fucking planet. Oh, I was in Europe yesterday, but then I had to go to fucking China, and then I had to go to Australia, and you'd never believe it. I had to fly back to California and then I went to New York all in 10 days on my private jet. Oh, nice. How does the ozone layer feel about that bitch? Like, did you make enough eyeshadow last week to make it up to the ozone layer? Be honest. And I don't want to fucking hear about anybody's charity for the earth while you're on your fucking yacht in St. Barthes. Because you're an asshole. And why are like normal, hardworking people being made to feel like you're a piece of shit because you didn't put your fucking styrofoam in the right goddamn barrel, Janice? You put it in the red one and not the yellow one, you dumb bitch. Now Janice fucking feels bad because she thinks she killed the earth. Meanwhile, XYZ is sailing back from the fucking Cannes Festival on their yacht so that they can take their private jet from Miami comfortably back to Los Angeles. You fucking asshole, like piece of shit, dickhead. It's just the contradiction is too much. It's too much. I will raise my children to utterly disregard whatever the fuck mass media puts in their face. Trust and believe. And again, I'm a communications whore. I am a pop culture slut. I literally grew up in the 80s. Like I'm fascinated by I love actual real print magazines and newspapers. I like the radio. Old school. I like things that don't have to fucking do with inner web, even though it all does now because blah, blah, blah. I digress. My children are going to have a very good idea about who is destroying the planet. And it's not them because they didn't recycle the fucking piece of paper that their chewy was wrapped in, right? They're not gonna feel bad because they accidentally put their napkin in the goddamn general fucking rubbish bin, right? Like, but they will know that rich people hate Earth. They will understand the complete like fucked up contrast of wealth is a nice way to say it, right? Um mama is a spectator, and life is a spectator sport to aliens like me that are just here to hang out. So when I watch Mr. Billionaire, Miss Billionaire, all the billionaires together doing like obnoxious shit, like fucking crazy ass obnoxious shit. Oh, shoot me to space! Oh, I'm just gonna I'm going to space. For what? W the amount of pollution so um do these bitches really need to go to space? Oh my god, I had like no gravity. You can go into no gravity chamber if you're in New York City, which you fucking should be, and if you're not, then move here. Um you'll find one and you can go in there for like yonks, but you don't have to be like so gung ho to be like, well, I'm a fucking billionaire, I'm a rich person, so I do hate Earth. And how I think I usually say private jets and yachts are like the most amazing way to that our friends hate Earth, because then you know they're our friends still. We can hang out with the rich people. I might not like you, but we can be friends and you can hate Earth. That's the fucking that's the field, that's where we're playing. So as far as you getting shot into space, I mean, I guess, like if that's how you fucking feel, if you're really like, oh, I have so much money. I and my I already have a yacht and I already've done a private jet more times than I like. It's like, how could I possibly pollute the earth more? This is what these people think about. People like you and I, BDs, we're like, bitch, how do I pay my rent? How do I fucking feed my kids? Like, how do I this? These cunts are like, oh, how do I kill the earth more? Well, I flew my private jet to the rainforest out of my bunker so that I could have my uh not-for-profit meeting about how I love rainforests, and then I launched my spaceship out of the Amazon. Um, yeah, and landed it in the ocean amongst dolphins and sea life. Yachts are pretty bad. Don't get me wrong, because I love a cruise ship. Bitch, put me on a cruise ship. Poor people. The name of this episode Rich People Hate Earth. Poor people are ambivalent to Earth. We're not fucking thinking about Earth. We have no control over Earth. We're just trying to get through the fucking day. We're just trying to fucking do whatever it takes to get the goddamn buy. That's what normal people do. That's what the 99% do. But the 1%. Actually, at this point, it's like the 3%. It's like the fucking 5%. Let's face it. Once you get the fucking underground monies and bullshit monies and so the 5%, they're literally launching themselves into space. They are hiding underground and flying around in private jets and just, you know, fucking just killing Earth. It's like, how many chemicals can I put in the ocean today? How many smokestac can I fit in my factory? And what town has the least amount of environmental rules that I'm going to have to adhere to while I take that avenue to kill the planet? Because, you know, having a factory is a wonderful way to kill the planet. Not only are you killing the planet like in the atmosphere, but you probably have child labor and so you can also human traffic whilst killing the environment at the same time. And if you ask Jeffrey Epstein, for example, or Gazelle or every other motherfucker that was associated with them, not getting political. I'm just saying in our Rich People Hate the Planet episode, P.S. I have an island. P.S. fly your private jet to my island and just land it in the water. If you want, you can park it there and let it sink with the rest of the rubbish. That's what these people do. Because they have so much money. So, nevertheless, I hope this was an educational episode. Because it's very oh and like if you didn't listen to Fuck Yo Diamonds, because I feel like Fuck Yo Diamonds kind of associates with this Rich People Hate the Planet episode. Um the Olympics are happening right now. And go figure, there was another rich person draped in fucking diamonds. So rich people draped in diamonds is fucking the planet via human trafficking, via child labor, via like yeah. I want to know the fucking supply chain of your diamond, bitch. I want to know the supply chain of your private jet, of your yacht, of your fucking every ounce of pollution that this small percentage of people literally destroy the planet with should be fucking that's your commercial. That's your Super Bowl commercial. Oh, hey, look, Omate just fucking put another 8,000 fucking tons of in the atmosphere because they had to sail to fucking St. Bart so they could launch their goddamn rocket in the sky with their girlfriend so they'd get a blowy later. I mean, it sounds romantic, but at the same time, what the fuck? This is the world we live in. Ladies, sisters, girls, and for all you sicky boys, there should be no men listening to my podcast. Full stop. And a lot of bitches aren't ready for this either. But you know, it is for a very specific group of women who I love and see, and blowcases too. Get a rich boyfriend, you know, go on their private jet, kill the planet. I don't want to sound like I'm like throwing shade or blowing smoke at these people. I just want to call a spade a spade at the end of the fucking day. And if you have so much money that the planet becomes irrelevant, shout out. If you have no money and the planet's irrelevant, I can understand because having no money is a lot more relevant than the planet, because you have to get by. So however you want to do that, you find a way, you're living a different life. But if all you do is have money, and then you want to like kill the planet a hundred times over. Um that's your mama laying down the law, ladies. So, I hope you all have a wonderful week. I hope you fucking stay warm. Yo, how fucking cold is it? How much, you know what, how much fuel are these cunt billionaires using on their fucking yachts this week to heat those bitches? Well no. They'd have to be like sailing in the Atlantic. They're not heating them, they're in the fucking Bahamas. Anyways, bad example. I hope y'all are warm and wonderful. And thank you, thank you, thank you again for listening. Billionaires are trash. Don't sweat anybody's fucking bag. Um, money is garbage, it doesn't exist. And fortunately, the 99% is stronger than the 1% of the people that are actually murdering us with all of their luxury.

SPEAKER_00: 28:33

I love you, ladies. I hope you have a wonderful life right now. And always let's talk again next week.