You Got Gay Played

You weren’t confused.
You were ignoring it.

This episode is about women staying in relationships with men who were never actually into them—and then twisting themselves into knots trying to make it make sense.

He didn’t pursue you.
He avoided intimacy.
You felt uncertain more than desired.
And instead of clocking it, you explained it away.

“Gay played” isn’t literally about sexuality—it’s about being with someone who isn’t attracted to you, while you keep performing, hoping it turns into something real.

The point:
 Attraction is obvious. Disinterest is also obvious.
 The only confusion is the story you tell yourself to stay.

So when it ends, stop blaming yourself.

You didn’t fail—you just stayed too long in something that was never aligned.

Music by Nathan Wills.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You're tuned in to BD BD. Bitch, don't be dumb. I'm your mama. No daddy's allowed.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

It is Wednesday again. I'm a little bit late this morning. It's about 7 a.m. New York City time that I am recording live in the streets of northern New Jersey. Happy Wednesday! Beaties, women, ladies, lovers, what's happening? What did you do this week? Are you having a fun time? Did you get rained on at all? It was a little bit rainy around where I'm at. Not that I try to pay too much attention to the weather, but nevertheless, it's warm. I'm not freezing my ass off. And my fat jab came in the mail yesterday, so now I can work towards summer skinny with my GLP1 jab, which I've done before. I think I'll do an episode about that, actually. But not today. Anyways, once I get that shit and I can get my hot girl summer on, maybe my life will turn around. But that is neither here nor there. Women! And that's not really gonna turn my life around, by the way. Just so you know, getting this fat off me from having two fucking babies in the last four years has nothing to do with like not being hot. I've been hot the whole time. I'm just gonna do the fat jab, which I will tell you all about as we proceed. Okay. Ladies, your man's probably gay. I'm sorry to bring you this week's topic. It is one I hold close to my heart, and it is something I fucking stand for as yo mama. Oh man, I didn't do the intro. See, I'm rushing today. This is the Bitch Don't Be Dumb podcast for the new listeners. BD BD, Bitch Don't Be Dumb. It is a podcast for biological women, women that came to the world as biological women, women that will leave the world biological women, and mostly biological straight women. No offense to our rainbow of other sisters, but predominantly we are the minority of straight biological bitches all here to talk our shit. Alright, intro, check. Your man's probably gay is the name of this week's episode, or something along those lines. All men are gay, your man is gay. Your man's probably gay. This is something that women should be empowered by. Because how many of y'all have a man at the moment that you are going to stay with forever, indefinitely, the rest of your motherfucking life? Put your hands up, hit the siren, ring the bell, let your sisters know where you are and who you is. I believe I am one of those women for my own reasons. Alas, when relationships end, women cannot be blaming themselves. You need to just remember that your man is gay. Probably gay. Wants to be gay, has considered being gay. This is the theory that I hold dear to my heart. I hold it dear to my heart because I have suffered at the hand of multiple gay boyfriends in the past. And you know, once upon a time, I was like blaming it on myself. I'm like, why? Like I was not like one of the girls. I mean, fair enough, like I had a fuck ton of gay friends. That's neither here nor there. But I don't understand why I had to be involved in a plethora of relationships with gay people. Um, and after said experience, I sort of hit the streets and started talking to my girlfriends about their experiences and asking them random weird questions about their dudes. And, you know, have you ever seen your man slap another dude's ass? Did your guy ever take any weird trips away with the bros? Is he a beter bro? Find the episode, check it out. All I'm saying is dudes do mad gay shit like every single day. A lot of the time, we're just not watching. And the reason why I'm all of a sudden concerned is because I have been with my husband for five years strong, and I saw a little bit of gay in him the other day. I'm not gonna lie, ladies. You know, he was making a joke, was taking the piss about something, and for the first time in the five years that I have been having sex with this man, because I did fuck him from day one, who you talking to with your mama, I saw a bit of gay, and I called him on it immediately. And I was like, you know, babe, no offense, but that was kind of gay. And people can fucking say all they want, oh, you're discriminating because you're oh please, how many fucking people as a white bitch, how many people are oh, that's so Karen, or as a German, as a German person, oh that's so this. Like, whatever, everyone discriminates against everybody in the name of fucking humor and lightheartedness. Get over it. So when I call my man out for being gay, it's not because I have a problem with gay people. I love gay people. I just don't want to be married to one, I don't want to be having sex with one, I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with a gay man, and neither do you. And that's why I am here, sisters. Your mama is here to warn you that most men are actually gay. Now I understand this is just a theory. So again, this is this is just my humble opinion. I'm not saying that everybody has to agree with me. All I'm saying is that the only person, you know, and it was my husband until like two days ago. My husband was in the mix till two days ago when he fucked it and did something a little bit weird. Because before that, the only straight person I feel like I ever knew in my life was my father. Straight male, straight heterosexual male. And it's like, dudes will argue with me, I will get so much hate. I promise you, the TikTok hate will be strong, and everyone will be like, Oh, how could you say this? You, I'm not like that, I'm the straightest dude, come see about me, blah blah blah. And you know what we call that? A Halloween costume. We call that a gay person in disguise. I'll tell you what. My girlfriends, I mean, everyone wants to say, Oh, I had a drunk kiss with Linda. I didn't have a drunk kiss with Linda. Not everybody drunk kisses Linda. I feel like women are inherently a little bit more straight, a lot of bit, actually, more straight, than dudes. And I think it's because men use their penis as a brain. So then when their penis sees another penis, it's like two brains thinking the same thing are like, hey, I recognize you and I know what you want to do. We could do this right now, and that is my feeling about why most of your boyfriends behind your back without telling you, without telling themselves, god damn it, these people can't even be real with themselves. There's nothing wrong with being gay. People are gonna see the name of this episode and be like, oh, this bitch, right, rah, rah, rah. Look, I didn't say there's a problem because all men are gay. I mean, it's kind of a problem, but there are a lot of problems in the world that you can benefit from being aware of. And one of those is that your boyfriend might have just jumped you because he's gay. Is he over-masculated? Is he like extra masculine? Because sometimes they say that those are the gayest dudes out there. My husband now is very, very male, is very, very doodly. And I will tell you, I have said in earlier episodes how straight he is and how much that pleases me. Now, man, if you and your dude want to get freaky and he wants to go stick it up that guy while you fucking jump on a face, no shade. Get it. Get it, you need to do whatever keeps you freak on, whatever gets you off. I have found as a straight woman that finding straight heterosexual men, as I've said before, is hunting lions in the wild. And there's not necessarily a fucking lot of them, and that shit can get pretty nasty real quick. So you need to find what you like, get your goddamn spear, get out there, and start throwing it around. But while you're throwing your spear around, trying to like get it into Jacob over there because he's got big parted brown eyes and a fucking fat bank account accompanied by, I don't know, a nice Lexus, maybe. You have to keep in mind that Jacob is probably gay. And I'm not saying that we can do something about this, I'm not saying that the world's gonna change around this, nothing like that. All I'm saying is that you need to have an awareness, a fundamental awareness, so they don't fucking catch you off guard. My first husband definitely caught me off guard, which was so weird, because there were so many signs. And when I tell you now, when I tell you these signs, you guys are gonna be like, girl, what was wrong with you? You know what was wrong with me? I was 23 and in love. I was 23 and in love. That's what was wrong with me, beadies, because I went to Australia to meet this kid who I didn't even have a photo of before I left, didn't even have a picture of him. I'm like, fuck it, love is love. I show up, he's hot, like model hot, really nice looking Australian accent, tall, all the things. And so we got married 10 weeks later. I didn't really stop to think that he was living in a house with three gay men and a bisexual friend, also male, a male bisexual friend. Um, I'm from New York and that's how we ride. Like, I didn't, I wasn't like, oh, gonna jump ahead of myself. Your roommates are gay. I mean, now that I'm a grown woman, I can be like, oh, you're all gay, that's fine because you're men. But back then, I was like, oh, my quote unquote straight husband lives in a house with you know a happy gay family and their bisexual friend. Works for me. Until until years went by and my husband didn't want to fuck. And I'm like, how can I be married to a man who does not want to have sex? Because I got news for you. If your dude don't want to have sex, he's fucking someone else, which could include himself. But you need to look into that because it's a reality that if you are a married straight ass woman, you need to hold your shit down, keep your man together. Otherwise, he's gonna be out exploring his gay side, which he has, and it's gonna be harder for you to like unsee all that. Do you know what I mean? Even if everyone be oh, I just saw the most beautiful skyline of Midtown. I love you in New York City. Um even if your man's not acting on his gay, because let me, you know, that's probably an important pivot of this conversation. Just because all men are gay doesn't necessarily mean they're acting on it. Okay? And I feel like they fucking should be, because maybe if they would just get it out of their fucking system and make up their mind of what they really want, then there would be less head games and headfuckery when we get into long-term understandings. You know what I'm saying, bitches? You know where I'm coming from. Nevertheless, then you get bitches like me that are like, I don't really want to get with the dude who's been like wagging his flag around fucking other rods, it just doesn't really do it for me. I mean, watching porn, getting freaky, doing this, doing that, each to their own, or hell, I mean, having them in your bedroom, I don't give a fuck what you do, that's your business. But I just feel that everyone is allowed to have a personal preference. And if my personal preference is fucking a relationship, a monogamous relationship with a heterosexual man, that's my personal preference, okay? Fucking start throwing the stones, everybody. String me up, set me on fire because I like to have long-term relationships with straight men. I mean, I'm not allowed to say that now because if I say that, I will literally get canceled. Someone will throw paint on me, like PETA will come after me for no reason. It's like I broke one of their rules as well. Because once you piss somebody off, everybody fucking comes for you. Um, I think that a lot of dudes probably want to be with other dudes, but then they have a girlfriend and they're like, fuck. And then they have to go through their own like gay unveiling. Like, well, am I gonna just fucking tell everybody that I want dick or am I gonna just keep pretending that I don't and drag this bitch through the fucking mud and then make her feel like hell and act like it's her problem when in reality I'm just trying to get the fuck out of here with Jonathan. Right? Y'all, I wish you could see me walking the streets of Montclair, New Jersey. And if you haven't been here, fucking Google it amongst the mansions recording my podcast. They like it. These people are um they're about that life. Okay. Back to the task at hand. You are not going to be played by your gay boyfriend. And if your man, let me tell you something. If your man ever says no for sex, you need to dump him. And this is real talk. And I will tell you right now, women, I have been girl, body count, schmaddie count. Are you fucking kidding me? What a joke. How many people, how many dicks have you written on? How many, how many did you jump on top? Are you fucking seriously? Really? It's fucking 2026, that's where we're at. I mean, there's nothing else that you want to know about me except for how many fucking drunk rods I fucking hopped on back in my day? Get the fuck out of here. What is wrong with people? Nevertheless, I've had a lot. I speak from experience. Bitches, trust and believe. And when I tell you, if a guy says no, when you try to fuck him, you need to run for the hills, you need to listen up. If a man turns you down, I'm not talking about casual shit. I'm not talking about fucking falling in Larry's lap on your shit face at the tav, being like, oh, can you take me home? Like, no. And he's like, no, bitch, because you're hampered, and that's just not uh I can't drive. Anyways, y'all know what I'm getting at. You know, you understand the point. You understand the essence of that point on your journey to um, you know, put out any gay man sabotaging your self-confidence with their gaitom, right? Like you are a hot sexy bitch, and if anyone tells you that they do not want to have sex with you, if you are in a monogamous relationship with someone and you want to fuck, and they say no, now trust me, this does not go both ways. Women are allowed to say no. We are definitely allowed to say no. Oh, please. Of course we can say no. Are you fucking kidding me? We got enough shit going on. I'm on my fucking rags, my rags are coming. I was just fucking having kids or not having kids. I just got back from work. Why am I working right now? Like you should be taking care of me. What the fuck? I got shit going on. You want to fuck? Maybe. But if I want to fuck, game on. And that's just like an unspoken understanding. And you know, I have definitely sad to say because with my man now, we had a hot, like the first two or three years, we literally had sex every single day. Why the fuck do you think I had two kids in between 19 months apart? Give me a break. So, anyways, that happened. And then the kids came and you try to keep it going, you want to keep shit hot naturally, etc. etc. But there were times where I I feel that I made him wait longer than he had, like he should, which being like longer than he should is like three days. But I'm serious because if you have your own patterns in a relationship and you want to maintain them and you want to keep your relationship, you need to pay attention to that shit. But if you don't feel like fucking in your dudes like about that, then he can go kick rocks. He can go call his gay boyfriend, okay? Tell him to do that. Don't really tell him to do that because he probably has one and you definitely don't want to know who he is. And you know, all of this also ties now that I'm creating an encyclopedia of lessons amongst my podcasts, okay? If you didn't listen to the fucking phone lock episode, then right now, when this concludes, you need to go and listen to passwords before pussy and why you are not fucking this dude unless you are in his phone. Girls are like, oh, you know, he likes his phone because it's privacy. And like we respect each other's privacy. Oh, you're cheating on each other. You respect each other's capability to, upon desire, cheat on one another. And the only reason why people think that it's trite to actually get somebody's fucking phone is because the male species has poisoned the minds of society and convinced everyone, oh no, that's a privacy breach. A privacy breach? Bitch. If I go into your bed and take your fucking locked handwritten diary and rip that shit open for a fucking afternoon, that's a privacy breach. If I look in your phone, although if my man had a diary under the bed written, I'd be a crazy bitch. I'd rip that apart. Dudes don't know what to do with me because I got two suitcases of diaries. I'm a fucking writer and I've kept my journals for the last 20 years. So, mate, they're scared of my diaries. Make your man afraid to go in your phone, okay? Either or it goes both ways. He's allowed in your phone, you're allowed as his phone. This kind of transparency is going to help you find out that he's gay sooner, and then you will waste less of your time, and you can go and find someone else and let them have a crack. Because again, dudes be masking it, brothers be masking the gay. They be masking the gay, pretending like they're straight, and then they go out with their beter bros on a Friday, pull their dicks out, and have a circle jerk. Not straight. Or they go home to their girlfriend and take out the fucking 12-inch dildo under the bed, tell her to strap it on, and go to Poundtown. Not straight. Right? Straight women don't peg. That's another episode that will change your life if you're new here. All I'm saying is that be who you are, embrace diversity and shit. Uh love thy neighbor, don't kill anyone. I don't know what the other commandments are, but I feel like stick to the commandments and go beyond them with honesty. Be honest. And in this essence, I'm saying be honest to yourself, girl. You need to be honest to your damn self. Is your man gay? Because he probably is. And you know what? It's not your fault. You aren't the reason that he's gay. It has to do with the penis brain that we talked about before. I stand that for real. Tentos. I believe that women deserve more. And I'm not talking about some fucking gonna drag me by my hair Neanderthal, take me back to the cave and never let me see the light of day. Oh, hell no. No, no, no, no, no. That is not masculine. That is not any kind of relationship your mama is pursuing. I don't want those qualities in anybody. I don't care if I'm fucking them. Or not. The qualities that I want out of a man, for real, uh at the top of the list, is to get dick down. Because the quintessential difference between having a man in your life, or you know, your girls, your females, is he's the one you want to fuck. And you know you want to fuck him because women are really pretty straight, relatively speaking. Hating men doesn't mean you're not straight. Okay, you can still hate men and be straight, but dudes can't really do much without being gay unless they try really hard. And some guys try harder than others, some guys try to the max and they fuck it, they go crazy, right? They start doing crazy shit and like kidnapping bitches and being nuts. Now, we're not talking about those fucking crazies. I'm just talking about fucking Jeremy down the street. Just Jeremy who seems pretty normal and wants to go on a date and go on a date with Jeremy. You know, he like shows up in pink and too much gel in his hair and smells a little too sweet, but you're like, Alright, I guess I'll go with you and shit. And then you start dating Jeremy, and he seems distant the next fucking three to four months until he brings out his big 12-inch dildo and says, Why don't we use this? And you realize to yourself, damn, I should have listened to your mama. I knew that shirt was too fucking pink for real. Seriously. Um, I don't want this to happen to you, baby. I feel that like there is a lot of penis on this planet. That's my merch. Put that on my grave. There is a lot of penis on the planet. Um, just because most of it's gay doesn't mean you have to necessarily fucking deal with that. Do you know what I mean? Like, you, it's like play till they're not gay, right? Play till they're not gay. I know that's a lot of words, so it's not really catchy, but but I want you to remember that I want you to hear me saying that play till they're not gay. Like, go out, have a good time, test the waters, but keep in the back of your mind that that dude's probably gay. And you really have to get very expensive and serious mining equipment, go out into like very desolate places, start digging, and perhaps under the rocks or sand or grass, wherever you are, a nice gentleman will be waiting for you and say, Hey, I'm one of the last seriously straight people on earth. Never in my life have I been like, hey, that guy's dick is this. Hey, I just looked at this. Hey, let's no. The guy you just found under the fucking sand in the mines of Africa is not that guy. And you are gonna say, Oh, see, I played till you weren't gay. Like I played around and had a good time, and now I found someone finally that's not gay. Because all the shit that I talk about my husband, he's not really gay. I'm just busting his balls because he understands as a passionate straight woman who has been in far too many, and not just me been in these relationships, I've had girlfriends in these kind of relationships. I have lived on various sides of these relationships, from the participant to the support network to the fucking cheer squad. Like, whatever has to happen, I'm there for my girls. Okay. And it saddens me to say that you know, the same way that I couldn't tell you my body count, I could not tell you how many times we got gay played. Right? Gay played. That's better, that's catchier. Don't gay play me. If you have a story about fucking being gay played, why can't anyone text me? Send me a text. The link is in my buzz sprout, and you can send a text and be like, hey, I got gay played when I dated this guy for three years, and then all of a sudden he decided that him and Lawrence were much happier together. It's like, great. Thanks for the heads up, Elvis. So, anyways, I just want y'all to be safe and have your hearts protected and your feelings spared because nobody deserves hurt feelings. And I believe that I am the bitch that always goes for the underdog. I I mean, I pop mad shit on this podcast, I make stupid jokes, but at the end of the day, I spare people's feelings. I want my feelings spared because your feelings and your emotions relatively run your entire fucking body. So don't give them away. And don't get completely upset if a relationship ends because your boyfriend was probably gay. And if you're going through a hard time with your boyfriend right now, keep in mind it's probably because he's gay. So that's gonna wrap up what I have to say this week. I think it's uh it's about quarter past seven in the morning now. So I hope y'all are laughing at this on the train or sitting at your desk fucking laughing at this. I hope I brought smiles and mainly knowledge and understanding. I'm sorry if I shocked you telling you that your man's gay, but you know what? Somebody had to. And this is my fucking podcast where I will always say what I feel is relevant, critical, knowledge to be spread. That's gonna be the new summary of my podcast. All right, ladies, you be good, have a wonderful week. I hope your lives are lush and easy, right? We love an easy life. Mine's still a fucking disaster, which, yeah, there'll be a disaster life episode. There's definitely gonna be a fat jab episode. Um, and yeah, we'll get to that in the future.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

Have a good day. Love you ladies, love you beaties. Tell your friends, please, to listen to the bitch don't be dumb podcast every Wednesday. Hold on. See you later, ladies, and I'm gonna go to the house.