Bitches Are Allowed To Be Assertive

A chaotic, funny, and brutally honest episode where Yo Mama opens by admitting she completely lost track of the days and accidentally missed the usual Wednesday upload. What starts as a rant about being overwhelmed quickly turns into a bigger conversation about how women get labeled “bitches” simply for being direct, assertive, or good at their jobs.

Drawing from toxic office politics, corporate leadership experiences, failed friendships, and the pressure of holding life together while everything feels upside down, Yo Mama argues that men are praised for behavior women are punished for. The episode mixes dark humor, personal stories, workplace frustration, and motivational BD advice, ultimately encouraging women to stop apologizing for taking up space, speaking clearly, and getting shit done.

Transcript

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You're tuned in to BD B D. Bitch, don't be dumb. I'm your mama. No daddy's allowed. And everyone, welcome to the Bitch Don't Be Dumb podcast. Welcome to another episode of the Bitch Do Not Be Dumb podcast. It's the Bitch Don't Be Dumb Podcast. Ladies, beaties, friends. Today is actually Thursday, interestingly. And your mama is coming to you on a Thursday because I thought yesterday was fucking Tuesday. Welcome to my week. Welcome to my week, beaties. That's pretty much the jump off for me. My week has been a tornado. Actually, my two weeks have been a tornado. Last week was a tornado and it just kind of like blew into this week. You know what I mean, ladies? You have those weeks, you have those times, you have those periods of life when, truth be told, you have no idea what the fuck day it is or where you are or what's going on, because that's pretty much where I'm at right now. Welcome to Thursday, apparently. This is normally a Wednesday podcast. I'm sorry I'm late this week, but in all honesty, shit came up. Shit is still up. My shit's up. Is your shit up? Get your shit up. Well no. It depends on how you get it up. If you're getting it up in a financial way or a you know personal growth way, get it up. You don't want it to be up like mine is right now because mine's up in the air, and I'm just trying to fucking find two minutes of togetherness. Nevertheless, welcome to another week of the bitch don't be dumb podcast, a podcast for biological women. We talk about ladies' topics, we have girl chat, we spill tea, we do all kinds of things, we do whatever the fuck we want because we are liberated women with you know vaginas, because women have vaginas, and so we come together once a week to have our own space for women and learn a new lesson from yo mama. So I apologize that I am tardy to the party this week, but in all honesty, it's really because I thought yesterday was Tuesday. So here we are. It's Thursday this week. I am coming to you once again live from the streets of northern New Jersey. For whatever reason, I ended up here by accident, here I am, and I am obliged to keep it pushing, keep pushing for my podcast, keep pushing for my people, keep it pushing for my babies. Mainly, man. One day we're gonna do an episode about babies, but anyways, this week, this week, we are going to talk about bitch, you are not a bitch. This is a topic close to my heart. Bitch, don't call me bitch, don't let anyone say you're a bitch. Here's the thing. I have learned this time and time again over the years, and now as a grown-ass woman, being your mama, I am here to spread a little bit of knowledge and hopefully enlighten y'all on a topic that women need to be aware of because I promise you, sooner or later in your life, someone is gonna throw it at you. Now, riddle me this. Why is it that if a man has an opinion that he is forceful with or forward with, he is assertive. He is making his point, he is standing his ground. However, if a woman has a point that we stand by, we are a fucking bitch. The place that I've really run into this the most is work. Because, like I mentioned, once upon a time, your mama was a high-flying corporate executive. And at that time, I had to run a lot of shit. I had to oversee large amounts of money, I had to deal with an international audience of human beings, and frankly, I had to keep my shit together because it was a high-pressure job, high-pressure environments, la la la la. Now, at the level that I was working, consequently, and some of you might find this as well, the higher I found that I got in a corporate environment, the less women were around me. That said, the other side of the coin, in addition from being outnumbered, now normally that sounds really lush, right? Being surrounded by hot men making money sounds good. First of all, they weren't really hot, most of them were married, and a lot of them were like heaps older than me. I'm talking like the 20, 30 year plan. So it wasn't really like it was a penis party, it wasn't like I was in there trying to fucking get mine. I just had to actually go in there and do my job because as a single person in New York City paying $3,000 rent a month alone, I had to fucking get it moving. Now, I found time and time again that women of all people, now these are not bitches, these are not beaties, these are cunts. Some women are cunts. That's another episode. Don't be one. You're not one, you're a beattie. You're not here to be a cunt to anybody. But I'm sad to say, I've learned over time, as much as a girl's girl that I am, and I am a girl's girl, sometimes I hate that term these days because everybody says it, but they don't really mean it. They're like, I'm a girl's girl, but like, you're not. You'll stab that bitch in the back, you will talk some bullshit, you will act crazy, you know, you'll do things that make you not a girl's girl. Anyways, I had to deal with cunts going to my male colleagues and saying things like, oh, you know, she's pushy, she's crass, she's too blunt, this, that, and the other thing. Meanwhile, I am not acting any different from my male colleagues. When I go to work, let me tell you something. Your mama is a motherfucking boss. I'm in between jobs at the moment, and I might be in the street for that soon, but nevertheless, once upon a time, when I was working at a certain level, I get shit done. I always made a point to know that I would be able to make money and that I would be able to take care of myself because we never trust a man. Another episode idea. Never ever trust a man. Ever. Unless it's your father and you have a very loving relationship with him, do not trust that dude. Because dudes cannot be trusted. They just fucking can't. Nevertheless, these cunts would go to these men and be like, Raggedy Ra. This bitch is pushy. This bitch is whatever. And depending on the guy, because this happened to me more than once, which is crazy. And the fucked up thing is, I'm definitely not. I know there's friends in the audience that are like, yo, mama, if it happened more than months, maybe you should fucking take a look in the mirror. No. Cause you know, when it happened early in my career, I was like Devo. I'm like, are you serious? Like, why would you possibly say that about me? I'm the nicest bitch going, especially in an office, are you kidding me? Dude, it sucks enough to have to be at work. Why would I possibly be there to give anybody else a harder time or make it any worse than it already fucking is? That is not what I'm trying to do. And yet at the same time, these cunts would go to my male colleagues and bitch that I was being one way or another when in reality I was acting exactly the same as my male counterparts, just trying to get shit done. Do you know? I had an executive assistant one time who had obviously all male counterparts that she looked after and me. And in looking after me, she was the biggest twat that you could ever imagine in your fucking life. To the point where she had to book my flight one time for me to travel, and she cried. She literally cried. So, anyways, these are the type of people who would turn around in an employment environment and say, Oh, you know, she's this, she's that. If a woman tries to do something at work or get something done or act a certain way and is straight up about it, because it needs to be done, blah blah blah blah, she's a bitch. But if a dude is asking for the same exact thing in the same exact environment, then he is just doing his job. So you might have run into that. Let me know if you have. Hit me up. Have you run into that, ladies? Has someone turned around and tried to tell you that you're being a fucking bitch when you are just literally doing your job? When you are just legitimately trying to get things done in tight deadlines, in regulated environments, in a situation that you're being paid to manage, and then people say, Oh, you know, she's a bit this, she's a bit that, she's a bit a bit rough around the edges. No. Just because I am a straight shot, just because I am not a woman of many words when it comes to what I need. If I need something, I can probably tell you in three words. Like now, I need money. See? See how I did that? I need dick. I mean, I feel like you can just put many things there and get your point across quick. If you get your point across too quick as a female, I have found people will hit you with the bitch card. And you know, I've actually curiously lost friends over this. I have lost people that I've known for years. For example, this year at Christmas, I invited someone who I have known, oh man, at least for 20 years by now, more than that, probably 25 years. I invited this person that I've known for 25 years and his partner and their child to my house for a Christmas celebration. I can't even remember what the conversation was. But while we were conversating, somebody mistakenly decided that I was being a little bit pushy. I was being a little bit straightforward, and at the end of the fucking day, I was literally talking in a very normal way. I wasn't being aggressive, I wasn't telling anyone to fuck themselves. And it's funny with me, it's ironic. Because let me tell you something. If I'm gonna tell you to fuck yourself, you're gonna know. And if I got a problem with you, it'll be very clear. So I couldn't really get my head around why these people are like, oh yo mama, you're being like this, why you being like that? It's like, mate, this is actually how I'm cut, and to be real, I'm just a straightforward person. Yo mama is a straightforward bitch. I will fucking tell it like it is. I call it Kellow Black, all that. I am not in any situation to waste my time or to not be clear about what I need, how I feel, what's happening. I got enough shit going on in my life. Particularly, I feel like for someone like me, I got a million things on my mind at all times as an independent woman who supports myself. Now I'm an independent woman supporting four fucking people. I have no idea how I'm doing that, and it's about to run me broke because I can't get a job. Nevertheless, I will keep trying. So I don't really understand this nonsense about why is it if a man is straightforward and he acts a certain way, then he's being a boss, he's being a dude, he's in charge, he's fucking, you know, the head dude. But if a woman does it, we are a bitch. So you gotta shut it down. Always have an ally, for example. Unfortunately, in the instance of my friends, I lost my friend. It's May. I haven't heard from him in five months, I'll probably never hear from him again. And guess what? I'm not gonna ring them up and apologize for being who the fuck I am, who I was born to be, who I've been my entire life. This person has known me long enough to know that's how I operate. Never apologize for who you are. Never there is nothing wrong with the bitch you were born to be. Whether that's assertive, hyper, happy, depressed! Fuck it. Whoever you are, don't be depressed though, baby. If you're depressed, DM me and I'll help you because depression's a waste of time. Get your fucking nowhere. Anyways, never ever let anyone tell you you're something you're not. And the worst part was, in the work situation, not only would these cunts come and say that I was a certain thing that I'm not, then I'd have to go to these dudes who are on the same level as me, mate. These aren't people that are my fucking boss, these aren't my supervisors, these are dudes that I'm neck and neck with, we're the same level, working similar jobs in a high-level environment, right? So I left a lot of jobs to remove myself from said environments, and I have no regrets about any of that. If nothing's not serving you, get the fuck out. I have walked out of jobs paying $150,000 in the past, which is a lot of money to me. These days is fucking nothing. People make $150 grand on TikTok in fucking five minutes. But you know, that's a decent fucking stack for a broke bitch like your mama. And I literally packed up shop because women cop it, mate. We really, really do. I feel like offices are the most toxic place for a bitch, and that is on God. I mean, talk like they're toxic as it is, but the dudes turn it into a boys' club. Because they do. It's fucking, they're pretty much having they're they're beta bros, probably. They're bromancing, they're doing it all. And the girls, on the other hand, are either hiding from the other girls, which is what I did, because these bitches are rough, dude. I have met some of the nastiest fucking women in my life working in offices. Disgusting pieces of shit. I mean, really toxic. And it's so funny because, like, your mama has had I'm a writer. I've mentioned it before. There will be a memoir moment, there will be a book moment. You'll learn about me. You learn about my life. My life has not been easy. It's still not fucking easy. Mainly I blame it on not having any family. I am completely estranged from my family. And so, you know, it is what it is until you're on the back foot and you need someone, and let me tell you something. Everybody needs someone at some point. There will come a time in your life where you find that you need someone that you're going through the gigs, some shit's fucked up, yada yada yada, and you actually have to have some type of help. A big part of the reason why I don't know what fucking day it is right now is because I have no help. I have absolutely nowhere to turn, and I've been in a tremendously hard position for nearly two years now. Nevertheless, this isn't a boo-hoo session. This is a session to say, bitch, you are not a bitch. Do not let anyone make you feel like you are being nasty because they don't fucking like what you have to say. You are allowed to express yourself, you are allowed to have opinions, you are allowed to fire them off in any fucking direction you feel like. And if somebody doesn't like it, tell them to suck it sideways. Tell them to eat your asshole. It is not a scenario that you need to accommodate because what it is is somebody else's shortcomings. It is somebody else having problems with themselves. The reason that those cunts were so nasty to me in the office was because I was in a higher position than they were. I got hired straight in in a higher level. I came out of fucking nowhere. I showed up from Australia in the middle of New York City in a fucking VP role, and these girls didn't know what to do about it. And so they were so cunt to me. The entire time it was out of control. Lasted a couple years, left, went to another high profile role, same problem, mate. Women. And you know it's funny, it's because I stick to myself at work. I'm not at work to make friends, yo. I'm not at work because I want to be there. I'm at work to do my fucking job and get paid and bounce. That's why I go to work. I don't know about you, ladies. I mean, it depends on your career. If you have like a really nice career, maybe you work with kids, maybe you're a psychologist, maybe you have some kind of like nice environment that you go to at work, and it's relaxing. I work very high-level, high stress positions for real, and I hold it the fuck down. I can handle stress. Oh, please, I can handle stress. Sometimes I might not know what day it is, but I still fucking keep it pushing. And so if I am focused and I am getting things done, that does not mean I am being a bitch. That means that I am, you know, just like any other dude, making sure shit's handled. And I never appreciated anyone trying to come to me and be like, oh, by the way, you're a fucking bitch because you needed your plane ticket booked. You're a fucking bitch because you actually told me I need to do my job, which is relevant to, you know, everything. Like, what a crock of shit, dude. It's just really something that rubs me the wrong motherfucking way. I'll tell you that right now. And I hope that you women don't have to deal with it because it's not nice to deal with beaties, it's not nice to just be your normal self, your little old self in the big bad world, having an opinion, getting something done, doing what needs to happen, and then people are like, ah, she's such a bitch. No, she's not. No, you're not. All you're doing is getting shit done. You are getting your shit done. So, ladies, keep getting it done. Keep fighting the good fight. This was a bit of a serious episode this week. It was a little bit more serious than I was expecting. But you know what? It's something that sits close to my heart. Because when I was young, the first time someone ever did this to me, and by the way, it was a fucking woman, right? Went to my boss back then. Early on, went to my boss, before I became a boss. And God bless that man. His name was Richard, I remember. And Richard went back to the woman and blantly said to her, you know, I don't think that Gretchen is aggressive. I think that Amanda is just a little bit assertive. That's right. And it always stayed with me. And there is a difference between aggression and assertion. And just because you are a straightforward bitch and you know how to get things done and you move in a way to do so does not mean that you have any fucking problems. And I don't think that anyone should have to carry that cross and feel like they're being hard done by or judged or put down or made to feel bad about themselves because someone doesn't necessarily like the way that you're doing things. And honestly, it's just a nasty move from the other person because they're probably jealous of you. Chances are that person's jealous of you, they don't know how to talk, they don't know how to articulate anything, they're working in some bullshit job they've been stuck in for fucking 10 years, they're too lazy to get out of it, or they're just genuinely spineless and don't know how to handle their own lives. So, in those kinds of situations, you cannot let those people tell you that you are a bitch. Do not let anyone tell you that you're a bitch because you're getting something done, expressing your opinion, having a voice, any of these things. Because they will. And men will too. Don't get me wrong, it's not just cunts. Men are fucking key for that. Men will tell you that you're being a bitch because you have a point of view. Men will tell you that you're being a bitch because you're telling them what to do instead of sitting around and listening to their ass try to fucking tell you what to do. Because they will, they probably are right now. Therefore, I want all of the beaties to recite the mantra the next time someone tries to make you feel like you are a bitch because you have an opinion, or you're a bitch because you're trying to get something done, you're a bitch because you, you know, are just a boss trying to like keep it pushing. Just remember, those people are twats, they're not your problem. You are a strong ass woman, and you are going to keep fighting the good fight, just like your mama's doing right now. Your mama is in the middle of fighting the motherfucking fight, ladies. I am in the traps right now. I'm in the traps. Um, and yeah, that's gonna be the conclusion of this week's topic. Sorry if it was a bit flat. I really the fact that I don't know what day it is, I feel like should completely put in perspective where your mama's at at the moment. Shit is real. Shit is real, shit is rough, shit is happening, and I have to sort it out. Power through one foot in front of the motherfucking other. And that's my message to you, ladies. When it gets hard, when it gets rough, we don't fucking stop, we push harder, we work more, and we absolutely refuse to let the world beat you, even when you're someone like me who has to support two small children and apparently a fucking bullshit husband. I do not falter. I keep trying and I keep pushing. And if someone thinks that that makes me a bitch, eat me. That's sort of like the bottom line. I will continue to hold my ground, have my opinions, do what I gotta do, and I will not let anyone say that I'm being a bitch for that because I'm a female. Because again, if a guy was doing that, oh Larry is so focused. Oh, oh Larry's really on top of it. But if a woman is doing it, oh Rachel's is such a fucking bitch. Now, I feel like y'all know what I'm talking about. I feel like I've got my point across for the week. I've spread my message, I showed up, it was 24 hours late. I've I feel like I've got a reasonable excuse. I hope you ladies have a nice week this week. And again, do not let anyone say that you're a bitch if you have an opinion or need to get something done or share some kind of view that they don't necessarily like. That's on them, honey. That is their problem, it's not yours. All right, bitches, beaties, the good kind of bitches. I love you. Thank you for tuning in. Tell your friends about it, and I will be here on Wednesday. I'm going to put some kind of alarm in my diary. Apparently, I have to do that to tell me what day it is, and I will do that next week, and I will fucking pull up. Ladies, I love you. Go have sex. See you soon.