The Perfect Couple Myth

This week on Bitch, Don't Be Dumb, Yo Mama takes a break from her own dumpster fire of a life to talk about somebody else's.

Using the Bunny and Jelly Roll split as a jumping-off point, this episode dives into fame, money, loyalty, weight loss, relationships, getting older, and why you should never assume that what you're seeing online is the full story.

Because let's be honest—half the couples people are out here envying are probably fighting in separate rooms.

Yo Mama talks about why the breakup hit her harder than she expected, what made Bunny and Jelly relatable in the first place, and why so many people were rooting for them. From building a brand together to building a life together, the episode explores what happens when people finally get everything they thought they wanted—and it still isn't enough.

Along the way, there's plenty of shit-talking, a few personal stories, some thoughts on age discrimination, and a reminder that life is full of smoke, mirrors, and people who aren't always who they claim to be.

At its core, this isn't really an episode about Bunny and Jelly Roll.

It's about the stories we tell ourselves about love, success, and "relationship goals"—and what happens when reality crashes through the fantasy.

Bottom line: Stop envying strangers. Hold on to the people who actually show up for you. And remember that just because a relationship looks perfect online doesn't mean nobody's getting fucked over behind closed doors. 💀

That last line feels very Yo Mama.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You're tuned in to BD BD. Bitch, don't be dumb. I'm your mama. No daddy's allowed.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Beanie. It's Wednesday.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Walka walk a walka. Waka waka. Happy Wednesday, everybody. Happy Wednesday, ladies, lovers, and new listeners. We have a lot of new listeners this week. So I want to start by saying welcome all. Special kisses to the OGs and a warm welcome to our new listeners. This is the Bitch Don't Be Dumb podcast. I am your mama. BD, BD, bitch, don't be dumb. Welcome. How are you guys going? Did you have a good week? Did you have a fucked up week? You know what? Either way, we are here. We are here. We are together. We are congregating. Welcome. Happy to have y'all. Happy to be here. I'm still standing. It's a bit of a cunt week for me, but you guys know, right now isn't really an easy time for me. So instead of focusing on my problems this week, we're gonna talk about somebody else's. You know, I don't really do a lot of uh cultural commentary on this bitch. Because I always say that I'm not trying to ring anybody out. And you know, just because I mention certain names in popular culture, current events, I've decided it doesn't really mean I'm necessarily ringing them out. It means I'm just talking my shit. And y'all know how I like to talk my shit, and y'all bless up, come in here to listen to me talk my shit. So let's get into it. Let's get into it this week. Welcome to the Vitopia Dum Podcast. Here we go. Bunny and Jelly. Oh, oh hey, I said it. I said it. Your mama has said in the past that I am a little bit of a pop culture whore. And, you know, the big stories. I'm too goddamn busy to keep up with all the bullshit, as you ladies are fully aware. But sometimes stuff gets across. And this week it's bunny and jelly. Now, when we get into the bunny jelly saga, it's not about throwing anybody under the bus. It's not about minding someone else's business. No. They represent a lot of things and stand for many valuable lessons that I think the beaties can learn from, laugh from, and discuss. Let's get into it. So they split C's. And let's start with my background of Bunny. I was listening to the Dumb Blonde podcast carrying my four-year-old in a sack on my belly after he was born. You know those things, the clippy things, a carrier, carrying him in a carrier? Anyways, I had my four-year-old clip to me as a newborn walking in the streets, as I do, because you guys know I'm always in the streets, listening to Dumb Blonde, which used to be really fucking funny. When Bunny was doing Dumb Blonde, particularly four seasons ago, she was off the rails. It was all about hoeing and dick sucking and being out there, and not only that, but Jelly Roll, Jesus loving Jelly Roll, did the intro to her podcast. And as I recall, used to say that Bunny's ass was shaken like Michael J. Fox. And I remember thinking, that's a little bit fucking rich, that's a little bit nasty. I mean, we can be funny without really being fucking nasty. We can take the piss out of each other and laugh, because again, if we're not laughing, we're crying. But I remember thinking that was a little too savage. I remember thinking, like, eh, it was really the only part of the podcast I didn't like. I thought that's kind of some nasty shit. My understanding is that those episodes are no more. I do remember when they changed the intro because it was right around the time that people started to actually know who the fuck Jelly Roll is. Jason DeFord, if you do, I think that's his last name. Jason and Alyssa. Maybe we'll just call them Jason and Alyssa. That's better. They don't need stage names, no fucking stage names here. Your mama's the only stage name you're getting. We're talking about Jason and Alyssa. Jason was really fat. Now he's skinny. And he dumped her on his face to go and dip it in. Let's just fucking call it for what it is. Honestly, like at the end of the day, Jelly Roll lost some multiple hundreds of pounds and wants to go out and fuck anything with a pulse. What I find entertaining is that early on, Bunny and Jelly, or uh Alyssa and Jason, if you will, were very open about fucking everybody, and our relationship is so open, and we invite all the girls in the bedroom, and we take them home and pass them around. So riddle me this. If that was really what was going on, why now? Why this? I think that there's a couple reasons. And I have to say, I do believe that one of them has to do with him losing all that fat. There's all these rumors coming around. People want to talk about oh, they're getting sued, so they want to split their assets, they wanted this, they wanted that. That's fine. They could do that. But realistically speaking, money changes people. Not that I can talk because I have none. However, watching their love story, because it was a really good love story, they were America's sweethearts. The hooker and the fat guy, we loved them. We were here for them. Everybody with a fucked up life was looking at those two, the heroin dealer and the prostitute, and being like, God damn, if they can make it, there's still hope. If they can make it, there's still hope for me. You know why the other reason that I liked Bunny and Jelly? Age discrimination is real, dude. Bunny and I are the same age. But if Bunny walks into a room and says, Hi, I'm Bunny, I just got a facelift and I'm 46, nobody cares. If I walk in and I say, Hey, I'm your mama, I'm 46, I want a facelift, people will say I'm old. And I don't think that's very fair. Like, there is a fine line. First of all, let me clarify: there is definitely a fine line between aging and creeping. Let's face it. So if there's people that are being weird or creepy to you that are like many, many years outside of your astrology chart, fair enough. Maybe you should run. But I think that like as a rule of thumb, people genuinely get age discriminated against all day long, really for no reason. I mean, outside their age. Like, I think that it's really lame, corny. I'm it's it's just it's too much. And I understand that the internet is full of our 20-year-old friends. Shout out. Have fun when you turn 21, poor one for me. If you're 20 and somebody is 47, you're gonna be like, oh my god, you are grandma. Alas, we live in a time of perpetual connection. So, once upon a time, before the internet, if a 47-year-old came up to you and you were 21 and said, Hey, what's good? You might call the police. Now we live in the time of TikTok. You can be friends with whoever you want, dude. Honestly, people's age, and I'm not even just saying this because I'm in my 40s, I've always thought this way because I usually tend to roll with people that were a lot older than me. Not anymore. Now I just fly solo because I'm estranged from human beings and hiding in the forest. But before that, I had a lot of older friends. It's really ain't no thing. If anything, you can learn from these people. However, my point is that Jason and Alyssa are people that really made it in their 40s. And that's what I plan to do too, BD. As you listen into this, my book's coming out. My book is gonna come out, and when it does, goddamn it. But I would also hide from the fame monster, which is really what Bunny's trying to do. I understand, because I listened to her podcast when she told her side of the story, and it is a story because let's face it, it's the personal fucking life. You don't know what's going on, you have no idea what's going on. I'm just here to speculate, talk shit, and hopefully, like, you know, get some cheap laughs. So I have a theory that Jelly Roll just wants to fuck anything with a pulse right now. I'm allowed to talk about what it's like to be with someone that loses that much weight because once upon a time in the past, I had a 300-pound boyfriend, high school sweetheart, my high school, six foot two, 300 pounds, massive, just enormous dude. Not like jelly roll fat, but you know, he was pretty large. And I remember he lost a bunch of weight, and curiously, he was really he sh like I was proud of him, he was proud of himself. Um, you know, lean, looking like regular-sized yada yada, but the thing that he didn't get, and the thing that jelly roll probably doesn't get either, is that like I didn't care when he was fat. I really didn't. It didn't bother me when he was carrying all that weight, because like I was talking about last week, I judge people by the light that shines out of their eyes. And so, anyways, when he lost the weight and he was very smitten with himself, and he thought that all of a sudden I was gonna want to be, you know, jumping the D every day extra, because now he was quote unquote skinny. But realistically speaking, it was actually kind of weird because when you're with somebody that's of that sort of shape and stature, and all of a sudden it dramatically changes, it's almost like you're being with a whole other person. It's weird to say, and I know the haters are gonna be like, oh, you can't be happy because this person lost weight. You should be happy because I lost it. I was happy that he lost it, but I wasn't doing backflips, and it didn't want to make me suddenly bang him any extra. It actually made me want to bang him a little bit less because he wasn't it's so and it's so hard to explain. It's coming out of my mouth, and I sound like a bitch. I really do. But it's it's a hard thing to explain when somebody just like totally changes that drastically because my boyfriend did the same thing. He like halves, you know what I mean? He went from like 300 pounds to like 180, you know what I'm saying? He lost mad weight. Anyways, I didn't break up with him because he lost mad weight. I broke up with him because I was like 18 years old, and I'm like, I'm not gonna spend my entire life with the first person I fuck. Moving on. I feel that fame played a role in Bunny and Jelly Roll split because they were never really famous. They were always trying to be famous, they were working hard in being famous. Bunny is complaining, saying that, oh, I never wanted to be famous. Bitch, yes, you did.

unknown 12:42

Yes, you did.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Now, fame to me seems fucked, especially internet fame. People go into your comments and they thrash you to filth, and you have to throw yourself in there and be ready for that. And I can't imagine, I don't read comments, I don't stalk anyone like that. Okay, like you know, I'll pay attention to a story, but I'm really not that deeply invested. I can tell you straight up that they both wanted to be famous, ain't no question about that. And what it shows is sometimes when you work with someone towards a common goal, and then you get that goal, shit goes sour and you have to split. Which is what Jelly Roll did because he filed the papers. Bunny reckons that they got in a fight, and then he went and she was all file the papers, so like he went and filed them, and that was that. Obviously, there's more to it. The rags are all across it now. Talk about oh they have beef with some little girl, and he wanted to say sorry to the little girl, and she didn't want to say sorry to the blah blah blah blah blah. However, it's a sad story, right? It's a sad story. It was a sad day for me when I saw that Jason and Alyssa were splitting up. Now you can shit on all you want about, oh, we're best friends still, we're having a baby still, we're doing this still, we're doing that still. But you know what you're not doing? Being married. You're not being married anymore. As somebody that has three husbands behind me, and we were all gonna quote, be friends, no, you're not. You're probably not gonna be friends, and if you are, you're doing it in the light of the system to appease more than commonly other people. Now, shout out to them. I hope it all goes their way, but I do want to stand on ten toes and say that it's fucked because to work is hard. And they worked hard, mate. They were in the they were trying to get famous for so long, dude. They were doing the YouTube channels, they were making their own reality shows. Bunny went and and stole those two little girls, the hairdresser and the makeup person. Now she's got her own clique who I love. Shout out all them. Like they were really trying to create something, trying to build something. And then as soon as they got there, look what happened. I think that it's worth pointing out, based off of the Alyssa and Jason split, is that things will not always go as you feel they are going. And the people that you care about sometimes more than anything in the entire world will fuck you blind. Now, fortunately for Jason and Alyssa, now they're multimillionaires, so they don't really give a fuck. I feel like money would really help soften the blow. I feel like money, you could kind of like put it on your wounds and slow the bleed. You know what I'm saying? These people have more money than the Lord, and that's what makes it sad to me now is that to blow up and to get so big and to help each other. Like, no one helps BDs, no one helps me. You guys want to help me? Give me a fucking like on TikTok. Give me a TikTok like, give me a comment, help, help me, but you know what I'm saying. Those two really lifted each other up and really got very far. And then what two years into their fame? He hasn't been famous that long. How long's anyone known who the hell Jelly Roll is? For two years, I guess. Like, he got more famous for not being fat than he did for his bloody music, which, in my opinion, is pretty average. But, anyways, I don't fuck with country like that. So, if you do, good for you. Congratulations. I just think that it is a story worth discussing this week because it shows a lot of things. But mainly what it shows is that you can go through the most full-on experience all the way down to national fame, wealth, buying multiple houses. This bitch is building a farm, they're doing all kinds of things, and then all of a sudden, overnight, puff, puff. Why is that BD's? We'll probably never know. But in my life and in my experience, as somebody that has been fucked over time and time again, I have to believe that Bunny got a little bit fucked over. I have to believe that that dude lost all that weight and wants to go run it around and stick it in whatever and have his field day and be the skinny guy that he was really, really working very hard to be. Congratulations on your weight loss, Jason. I'm sure you're listening to this right now. I'm sure you tune in every week. Anyways, you can't trust anyone, and life can be smoke and mirrors. My third husband is a great example of this. He told me that he was a high-ranking military lawyer. And then slowly the truth unveiled itself. Was he high-ranking? Yes. Was he a lawyer? He was, but he wasn't able to practice because he had broken the law and they took away his right to practice, which I learned after I married him. Amazing. Thing is, life unravels, you really get to know people as time go on, and sometimes you just end up in some fuck shit. And I have to believe that Bunny and Jason wound up in some fuck shit. Fame is a crazy thing. Nobody would ever be prepared for that. And it definitely changes people. You see people on social media change when they get attention. Imagine getting national attention from millions and millions of people and all these magazines and all these bloody, you know, the rags and everyone else, chase like wanting to know all your shit. That's the position they found themselves in, and I'm sad to say they didn't make it. Because I wanted them to make it. I really wanted Bunny and Jelly Roll to change my mind about relationships. I wanted to look at them and be like, look at these people, especially in the way that they help people. So, for example, my book, let's talk about my book, friends. My book, my memoir saga around the first half of my life is Fuego. And as I'm editing it and trying to get it ready so that I can shop it around to various agents and other people in existence, my husband could not be fucked. He doesn't care, dude. He is not, he is not in his interest, he's he's somewhere else doing nothing because he doesn't do anything, so he has nothing else to do, which is the priority for him. Alas, what I liked about the DeFords was to really see two artists helping each other. I thought it was inspiring. I'm like, oh my god, look at the like, what the fuck am I doing with my life? Seriously, I've had four husbands, none of them has ever contributed to my art or well, actually, that's not true. Number four, we did have a podcast and it was cracking, and then he dropped the fucking ball because people drop the ball, people turn their back, people fuck you over. And I'm not saying that you need to hide from everybody, and I'm not saying that everyone's gonna do that to you, but what you need to do is really look out for your mental health and really maintain yourself as an individual. And what I really like about Bunny's position in this all this is from what I can tell, she sort of used this guy for whatever she could get. Relationships over, she's happy to move on. Don't be scared to use people. You heard what I said, you heard what I said, I will say it again. We're not talking about abusing people, we're not talking about lying to people. You can use someone without being abusive, without lying to them. If you need help, if you need support, money, shit, whatever you need, if you got people around and they can fill a void and they can do for you something that you need to get done, and you're not harming anybody, lying to anybody, you know, fucking anybody over, use the shit out of them, use them for what you can get. Somebody like me, who has no family, no support network, I'm in a situation right now where there's not one person that I can call, and that's on God. That's on God. I am, like I've been saying, I'm a couple months out of getting evicted. Well, I'm not gonna get evicted, but I'm sure when I stop paying my rent, they're not gonna be happy. So my hustle right now has to figure out how am I gonna get my fucking self out of this mess. And I was thinking to myself recently, in fact, damn, I wish I had somebody that I could use. I wish there was somebody around that had some kind of value for me. And we could trade them. You could use me too, mate. Use me for what you need. What the fuck do you need? You need a babysitter, you need some advice on your writing, you need some fucking laughs, you need something. Go for it, man, because life is fucking hard, especially for people that don't have anyone. And that was the other reason why I was standing for Bunny and Jelly. That's the other reason why I'm like, look at these people! Like, you know, they just really want money and they want to be famous and they want to break in and they want to go viral, and they fucking did. They did all of it. So congratulations on your success, bunny and jelly, for both of you listening together, I'm sure. Again, um, congratulations on your excess, on your excess, I can't even talk your excess. Yeah, congratulations on your excess because it is a little bit much with them, but congratulations on your success. I'm sorry the relationship failed, but I'm not sorry for you two. I'm sorry for all of us stupid bitches that really thought there was going to be that kind of love story to survive the test of time. It didn't, BD's. It didn't. So you gotta ask yourself, if Jelly was still fat and they didn't have any money, do you think you would have dumped her? I don't think so. The rumors are saying that some girl from Canada, there was drama, I think she got roofied at their club and blah blah blah blah. I don't really know about anything behind that, but I heard yesterday that one of the rags was saying, because Jelly Roll found Jesus, now all of a sudden he wants to apologize to this bitch, and Bunny doesn't want to apologize to the bitch, and that's why they split. Maybe could be. But if you were blatantly having other bras in the bedroom for the beginning and like multis and fucking whoever back then, it's very difficult to swallow that they're just splitting up on those grounds so that Bunny can go or excuse me, so that Jason can go stick it in. I mean, I do believe that. I'm not saying I'm not saying that I don't believe that. What I'm saying is that the two of them are a fascinating story and something that I felt I wanted to run my mouth about this week because I don't want to talk about my life because it's too fucked up and I have too many terrible things happening right now to actually be funny. So this is a little bit of a commentary episode. This is a little bit of a commentary episode of my two cents about something completely irrelevant, it has nothing to do with me. It is none of my business, that's all true, but I think from a cultural perspective, it says a lot because there were many little girls that would have been swooning at that relationship. She stood for him all these years and he stood for her. She was out hooking the street. And I mean, you know, to be honest, when I listened to Bunny's audiobook, which of course I did, um, I was a little bit suspicious on the fact that she was bankrolling everything with her pussy early on in the relationship. Not that that's like bad, and not that I'm upset, girl, you're hot and dudes want to pay you for it. I am all for getting paid for your Nana. We fuck for free. Why fuck for free when you can get money? Seriously. Anyways, I just think I just think that it's a little strange if your man, it's one thing if your man's like, hey, let's go bring a girl home and fuck her. I mean, if that's what you guys are into, then have at it. But if your man's like, hey, you need to go and fuck Kevin so we can pay the oil bill, I don't really know about that. I think that that to me is kind of a stretch and a little bit weird, to be honest. So, beneath everything, and now that these two people are Jesus freaks, right? They've decided that they love the Lord, and that kind of annoyed me to be real. I don't listen to Bunny's podcast anymore, and I sure as hell don't follow jelly roll anymore. But that doesn't mean I didn't before, and it doesn't mean I didn't love their love story, because I really, really did. But as soon as they started spouting all that Jesus shit once they got money, it's like, come on, dude, like, can somebody get rich and not thank Jesus? Is it possible? I mean, I can't stand the number of celebrities that get in front of people and go, I want to thank Jesus. You know what? I want to thank Jesus. I thank Jesus for my health. I thank Jesus every day. My life is burning to the ground, and I thank Jesus. That's my personal prerogative. They got millions of dollars and decided that they were gonna thank Jesus. Ain't nothing wrong with that. I mean, if you want to do that on your own time, it's fine. But don't go in public forums, you know, she's up there accepting rewards. Oh, thank you, Jesus. I love you, Jesus. Now I'm gonna go divorce my wife so I can fuck all these broads, or now I'm gonna go divorce my wife so I can hide a bunch of money because I don't want our assets to be fucking pulled when this bitch takes us to court. Praise God. I just think they're a funny story, eh? They're uh they are a random, a completely, totally random pair of people that got lost in the sauce when the money came rolling in. For real, for real. Now, I am a big advocate. Get your fucking bag, dude. Get your money up, get your bag up, take care of yourself, do what you need to do. I wasn't always broke. I don't have any money because I like to spend money, I like to make money as much as I like to fucking spend it. I'm just on the back foot right now having fucking shit. Nasty ass fucking luck, dude. If anybody out there needs a writer, if anybody out there needs an editor, if anybody out there wants to give me 10 bucks, slide into my goddamn DMs, people. I'm telling you right now, I'm fucking I'm hurting. I'm hurting over here. But at least I have my own moral foundation. After being married and divorced three times, going on four, um, I still have my own set of principles that I like to stand by, and I'm sure that the Beadies have their own sets of principles too. And long and short of things, my take on bunny and jelly rolls relationship is not something that's going to change the world, as not something of any relevance. However, we live in a society of heartbreak. We live in a time where everybody is just fucking each other over. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's kinda kinda crazy. And I'd have to sort of like, you gotta low-key blame the internet because people walk around with pussy in their pocket. That's that's another that'll be another episode. But anyways, for today, I just want to say this. Number one, if you are in a relationship with somebody who's really supporting you and helping you, maybe try to hold on to them. Maybe try to be different, maybe be the one time that people actually do stay together. Not for nothing. I think my husband has that attitude towards me. I don't really have that about him anymore because he fucked me over. Anyways, I digress. That's another episode. But for this episode, Bunny and Jelly. Shout out to the two of them. Congratulations on your immense success. Congratulations on hitting it in your 40s, to be honest, because everyone wants to say, oh, people in their 40s, blah blah blah blah. I'm actually gonna do an age discrimination episode because it's so trivial that it's crazy. Like, you should really be inspired by people that have been around, mate. Life's fucking hard, yo. So for the people that do get into their 40s, their 50s, hell, their 60s, mate, they have been through some shit. They've been through some shit. Jay-Z's in his 50s, no one's discriminating against him. What the fuck is that about? But anyway, I think that if you're rich, people discriminate against you less. I feel like if you are poor and in your 40s, then you're old and useless. But if you are rich in your 40s, you are young and fabulous. And so now you have these two young, fabulous people that have decided to go their separate ways and split from each other pretty much minutes after they got famous. Because they ain't been around for that long, dude. They have not been around for very long. Hold on to your loved ones, don't fuck them over, try to be the change, and try to be the person that really stands for someone. You know what I mean? Try to be that bitch. Like, I would like to get through the issues that I'm in with my marriage. Have I ever thought to myself, fuck this, I'm just gonna go and file the papers? Well, I'd like to, but I got married in Australia, so it's not that easy. But I also think to myself, you know, after going through real hardship, tremendously difficult times, I have been through worse, horrible, harder times with the dude that I'm married to right now than with anyone on earth. And as much as it makes me want to dump him most of the time, you also sort of bond over that shit, right? But these people didn't, they did not bond. Instead, they decided to dump each other. A collective dumping, but they're friends, bullshit. Anyways, that's my two cents on the bunny jelly saga. If you guys have any of your own thoughts, feel free to find some commentaries on TikTok and drop a comment. I gotta like, I'm pretty sure it's impossible to contact me, kind of. I can think you can send me a text actually. You can send me a mama, you can send me a text on the link. But, anyways, do something. Talk to me, ladies. Love y'all, miss y'all. I'm still here. Thanks again to all the new people logging in because we had a lot of new listeners this week. So I don't know if somebody shot out the Bader Bros episode or the You Got Gay played moment, but they were crack-a-lacking, they're moving along. So I am happy that I was able to check in.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

Uh uh, and I will see you guys next Wednesday. Next Wednesday. Have a beautiful week, everybody. I love you, keep your lovers close to you. Go have sex with your man.