Stop Trying to Be Un-Corporate

Transcript

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You're tuned in to BD BD. Bitch, don't be dumb. I'm your mama. No daddy's allowed. This is the Bitch Don't Be Dumb podcast, and it's the weekly episode. The weekly episode! Beaties, ladies, biological women who are joining me to listen to this podcast that is for biological females. Women with pussies that are born with them, that have been dragging them around their entire life, trying to cut a fucking break. This one's for you. Welcome. Welcome to the Bitch Don't Be Dumb podcast. We normally congregate on Wednesdays. It's been a little rocky. Today's Thursday. Not gonna get into all the reasons why I'm late because the Lord knows we're not here for fucking that. Let's get a little bit lighthearted. Let's get right into the show. I'm your mama, you're the Beadies. This is Bitch Don't Be Dumb, episode 31. Here we go. Ladies, this week we're going to discuss how we are all corporate slaves. Now, I feel that this is a timely topic because a lot of the young people in the world resist this in many different ways. Now, you can re-viva la goddamn resistance. Viva la resistance. Tell people to kill their television, what I like to do. Tell them to throw their phones, tell everyone not to work for the man, tell them that they need to free their minds, and the rest will follow in the name of In Vogue. Tell them all those things. However, do not lose the perspective that we are corporate slaves. You know, I've been watching a lot of the off-grid sisters because I am going to be homeless in about two months, unless I get this job. So I'm really trying to think: man, am I gonna do van life? Am I gonna do tent life? Am I going to show up at a shelter with my kids? And you guys think I'm kidding, I'm fucking not. I promise you that this is not a joke. There's a reason that I've been all over the place. My episodes are fucking late, and frankly, I haven't really been as lighthearted as your mama tends to be as a relate, because this is the shit that I'm dealing with. Anyways, I'm watching all these people in their fuck the man. I'm fucking getting a shed and going to Nevada. Wonderful. Fuck the man, get your shed and go to Nevada. But don't run around and tell everybody that you have beat corporate America while you're running around on your fucking phone shouting into the TikTok universe. Because you know who's corporate? TikTok. You know who's corporate? Your phone. You know who's killing the environment? All the fucking people that are mining the metal to build your phone. Bitch, don't be dumb. I get really tired of people saying that they've beaten a system that they're embedded in. That they're embedded in, and you can't get out of. Now I realize that I think when you're younger, particularly, that hits a little bit harder. I feel like the young BDs in here would be like, yeah, right, you'll mama. I live in a box on the fucking under the bridge, and I use my friend's phone for TikTok, and they pay my bills. Um it's still corporate. We live on a planet dominated by the oglyarchs. Shout out. We got the Russian oglyarchs that run us, the Chinese oglyarchs run us, and then of course there's the American oglyarchs running us, such as that damn fool who's in charge of the country, or all the damn fools that run this country. Are you kidding me? Why is it that people don't become politicians until they're fucking loaded? Why do you think? Money talks and bullshit walks, kids. We're just run by a bunch of rich people. Now, that's not something to be depressed about. I feel like part of the issue is that people spend too much time being down about this shit. People spend too much time being like, boohoo for me. I'm owned by a corporation. You know, in some ways you're lucky you're owned by a corporation because if you weren't, where would you buy your phone? All I'm saying, this is not a Viva Corporation's episode. This is not a praise of the man. Isn't it great to be owned? Don't you love that a business actually runs your fucking life episode? No. That's not the point of the episode. But the point of the episode is you're better off just accepting it. Just accept it. Now, should you be reckless? Of course. Be a fucking outlaw anarchist. Do crazy shit. I'm not telling you anything outside of, you know, being who you are, doing what you want to do. But don't waste your time getting involved in the boo-hoo corporate narrative. Like, does it suck? It's not great. It's not wonderful that, you know, half a dozen businesses run, like, I don't know, half the money in the planet, pretty much. Essentially. Like, we don't care about them. We don't, we're not gonna worry about corporate America. Do not get down on yourself because you just ate McDonald's. Do not get down on yourself because, you know, you're driving your fucking electric Tesla and the stock just went from blah to blah. Like, I don't have a problem with the businesses. I have a problem with the people who want to talk like they're above or beyond them. Because they're not. They're really, really not. And people, I feel like, people, especially again, our younger friends. There's like this new like hatred and despising of people that work corporate jobs, that work nine to fives, that do whatever they need to do to get a bag, to get their money. You know, everyone's like, oh, I'm not gonna work nine to five. Why nine to five? You know why nine to five? Because that's when the stock markets open, kids. That's why you work nine to fives. And if you live out west, you probably work like seven to two. Why? Because that's when the fucking stock markets open. These markets and this money is running your fucking world, whether you care about it or not. Like, so I guess my whole stance is why care? Why get involved and hoity-toity and boo-hoo over some shit that you personally really don't have any control over? I mean, you want to be an activist and put on your Ray-bans that are publicly traded with your Calvin Klein jeans that are publicly traded, and then drive your publicly traded car to a protest so that you can scream about publicly traded things with all the other people that are there. I mean, that's on you. If you want to do that, then do it. You know where the root of this is being born from? When I went on Tiki Toki one day, because I'm on Tiki Talkie every day, BDBD underscore pod. Ladies, if you're not there, please, please come and join me. Please let me know. And if you're a listener, when you follow me, tell me you're a listener, and I'll follow you back, bitch. Let's connect, let's get it. So, anyways, I go on TikTok and I see Kylie Jenner with pink hair in a commercial selling Dunkin' Donuts. And it was a funny commercial, I'm not gonna lie. Shout out to the people that actually wrote that commercial, because they're funny, and I hate commercials. This is why I don't have a television set, this is why I don't open your screens. Advertising to me is the devil. It's weird I have this thing about it. But again, that doesn't mean that I'm like, I live in New York City. Are you kidding me? I'm like, the walls are painted in advertisements, literally. But nevertheless, that's my advice. I'm not running around saying I hate corporate America or corporate everything or fuck businesses. No. I mean, it's not like I want to have sex with them. I'm not sitting around being like, gee, it's so great that fucking Jeff Bezos fucks us all and owns of the world.

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No.

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That is not my position to take. But I'm also not sitting around saying, oh, the world is bullshit because Jeff Bezos is fucking us in every hole from his yacht. Whatever. Like, anyways, here comes Kylie. She's got her pink hair and she's selling Dunkin' Donuts. It don't get more corporate than that, people. It does not, in my humble opinion, it gets more corporate than Kylie fucking Jenner telling young people, because it's mostly young people that care about Kylie, I think, right? I don't give a fuck about I don't give a fuck about any of them. And you know, that's another episode that I've actually kicked around a lot, but I don't really want to give the Kardashian fucks that much like clout, but I just think it's funny. That's the thing, too. If you turn around and you say, I hate corporate America, and I hate businesses, and I hate Wall Street and I hate the stock market, everyone will go, yeah. But if you say, and I hate the Kardashians, oh Lord, have mercy on our souls, you can't say that you're a hater. You are a hater. And that's how people actually fucking think about this shit. It's so it's so baffling to me. So what's funny is everyone's like, oh, King Kylie, I'm so bad. I want to be like Kylie. That's the biggest corporate motherfucker that you got going on there. Are you crazy? Are you kidding me? Didn't she like sell her makeup line to like some other big corporate person who's fucking making their money on the market with their fat investor friends every fucking day off of your dollars? Of course she did. Of course she did. The worst part about the Kylie example is that bitch doesn't even need the money. So I am extremely stressed right now. I wish I could suck corporate cock. I am trying. I am on my knees with my mouth open and my hands behind my back right now, BDs, trying to get this fucking job. Because if I don't get it, I'm fucked. I'm absolutely, completely fucked. And I'm not even kidding. I wish that I was kidding. I'm not gonna get into my problems, but scary times for your mama. So my point is, it is like the job that I'm going. It's funny. When I do work, I don't normally well, I mean, I try to work. I just had a bad run. I had a fucked up couple of years, BDs. But, anyways, once upon a time when I was getting, you know, 15, 20 years of experience under my belt, I work mad corporate, serious corporate, high, like as Wall Street as you can get, doing horrible things. Like the business is dirty, mate. Business is dirty, business is not nice, business is not some peaceful we are the world shit that everybody wants to make it so that they convince you to give them their money. Now, business is ruthless, business is impatient, business is fast. The way that these brands and companies run behind the scenes, people they really don't have any idea, even though just about everything you fucking touch is connected to one of them. Including fucking Dunkin' Donuts, including fucking Kylie Jenner. Because those motherfuckers, can you imagine the portfolios and the stock and the shares that those people own? So it's like you guys are running around talking to the little ones over here. I like to hope that the grown-up BDs have kind of fucking found the way around this. The baby BDs are sitting around just shoveling money into these people, like shoveling money into it. If you have a problem with corporate anything, if you really are like, fuck the man, fuck the corporations, I don't want anything to do, blah blah blah blah blah blah, you cannot spend a dollar unless you're like giving it to me. Um, or another homeless person. You can't take currency out of your pocket and trade it with anyone and assume it's not gonna touch the market. It's probably gonna make its way back to the stock market. I got news for you. In my very early years, I was like, this is when I went to Australia when I was 22. And I'm like, I'm going to Australia. I'm never gonna work for Wall Street. I don't want anything to do with those people. Fuck everyone. I just want to go and live on a rock in the middle of fucking nowhere and hide the fuck out. And I did. I fucking bounced, disappeared for eight years. What did I do? Well, first I was working cash in hand because I had no work rights, and lucky for me, Ice wasn't over there trying to fucking hunt me down and toss me out. So I worked cash in hand for 10 bucks an hour at a sandwich shop. And people could argue, oh, a sandwich shop? That's not a publicly traded company. That's small business. It's fine. Really? What the fuck is he selling people? I don't know. Heinz, catch up, perhaps? What are you cooking the shit in? Uh, I don't really know like electronic companies like that. I don't have electronics because I'm poor. But those fancy fucking friars and coffee machines and everything else, trust and believe. I highly doubt it's a private business. That's just me. And just because it's a private business, right? Then people turn around and say, oh, but it's it's not publicly traded, yo mama. It's not on the stock market. Who fucking cares? That doesn't mean shit. That just means that whoever owns it is pocketing the profits. Shout out to that motherfucker. Good for you. The business that I'm like praying, say a prayer for me, BDs. Do me a favor. I don't ask for much. Say a prayer for me. Say a prayer for you, mama. That these people hire me. The it's been going along pretty quick. And honestly, if it doesn't work, I'm fucked. And that's why I'm not really funny this week. I'm sorry that I'm not that funny. I wanted to show up yesterday, and I was like, you know, I'm not showing up today because I don't feel funny. And right now I don't feel funny either. But I'm also not a fucking sucker. You know what I'm saying? And I said the other day I was gonna fucking show up, and then my fucked up life just continued to beat me. I feel that I'm in a domestically violent relationship with my life right now. And in doing that, made me late again. But here I'm motherfucking am. And the job that you are praying for me for, the job that you're gonna just just just a quick one tonight. When you say your prayers to whoever you're praying, when you're praying to the Buddhas, to the angels, to Jesus, to the Lord, when you're saying your prayer today, do me a fucking solid and say, and also, please help your mama not be homeless. Please. I'm making a joke out of it because if I don't fucking laugh, I will cry. The first thing I did this morning when I walked out of my apartment before I even took out my little microphone to say what up to y'all was cry my fucking eyes out, was literally walk through the parking lot of the museum across the street from me and fucking sob. That's how I started the day. Now, I happen to be heavily leaning in to a large corporate conglomerate to hopefully pluck me out of the streets, put some money in my pocket so that I can take care of my kids. Take their money, beaties. All the people that are whinging about corporate this and trying to be judgmental. Oh, oh, you work for corporate? Oh, I don't work for corporate. Yes you fucking do. Yes, you probably fucking do. Who made your shoes? Who made your underwear? Or best to believe, who made your car? Yo mama hates cars. I hate them. I did not have a car, literally, no car, no reliance on a car for over 20 years. Now, since my life fell apart two years ago, and I've been in flux, I've been moving around, my gypsy nomad is like on fire. I had to get a fucking car, which I hate, I hate my car, fuck the cars. Can't stand it. So corporate. Like, it doesn't really get more corporate than a car. You're not even just dealing with the brand of the fucking car. You're dealing with all the metals. And to all you fucking to all you nice people with your electric cars that think you're saving the environment, take it from me, who used to work on a nickel mine. The nickel that's required in the battery of your electric car is fucking the environment. So, anyways, hope you feel better about it. Hope it makes you feel good at night. The whole thing is is completely talk about marketing. Like, hey everybody, don't worry about it. Your car's not on oil, it's electric. It's got nothing to do with the environment. It has everything to do with the stock market and everything to do with who controls the oil and where's the money going. Get the fuck out of here. They don't give a fuck about the environment. Are you kidding me? The batteries take so many metals that it doesn't matter anyway. You're not helping anybody. I don't understand why people can't really get their heads around that. But nevertheless, cars are fucking disgusting. If you drive a car, I don't want to hear you talk about Wall Street. I don't want to hear you talk about the environment. Seriously. Like you're not allowed to talk about either of those things to me. I don't want to fucking hear it. And if you're drinking Dunkin' Donuts, you directly support Kylie Jenner. I try not to give those people my money. Like to me, the Kardashians are more corporate than Wall Street. Hear me out. Why are the Kardashians more corporate than Wall Street? Well, first of all, they probably own a percentage of it with their fucking stack, billions of dollars and everything else. They have a piece of probably everything you fucking touch. Honestly. I'm drinking a THC drink right now. I don't know who makes it. It looks like it's called Hop the Wave. They probably fucking own that too, okay? They own everything. And you can't get away from them. And that is a really good picture to put beside Wall Street, because it's the same fucking thing. People think of corporations and they want to say, oh, it's it's these guys or this dude or rah-bra-bra-brah. It's the Kardashians. It's it's literally them. From Hulu, which is obviously publicly traded, to every fucking brand that they promote, cars they drive, the clothes they fucking wear. Dolce and Gabbana, publicly traded. All of these. And it makes me laugh how people think like, even Gucci, like, we can like nice clothes. Let's let's like our nice clothes. Let's like our uh Louis Vuitton's and our Gucci's and our European power brands. Guess what? They're publicly traded. On their own fucking platform. There's many stock markets, and everything you touch is likely connected to one. And for all the people that have made it that far, good for fucking you. I don't care. Business does not bother me. Business should not bother you. Having a job and getting into the world does not mean that you're a sellout. Now, while I prepare for homelessness and I'm like, huh, what's this gonna look like? I might need to live in a tent. Wish I was kidding, I'm really not. I'm like, I can get a nice big canvas tent, or maybe I can buy a van with the last fucking 5,000 bucks that I have and put my kids in that. I don't know what I'm gonna do. However, in doing this, I'm looking at all my Tiki Talkie friends that are on there making TikTok money because they have their fucking hundred thousand followers, people dishing in. Mind you, mind you, TikTok, corporation, corporate, I don't even it's it's on the stock market yet, it will be. Um you can't use TikTok and say that you're not supporting corporate America. It's impossible. It's literally like drinking water and saying that you don't consume liquids. It's like, dude, it's it is what it is. It's the world that we live in. It's the time that we're alive. Hasn't been around forever. Maybe it'll crash one day and blow off the fucking face of the earth. Who knows? Maybe someone will cyber attack it and fuck the whole goddamn trading system. Like, you don't know what's gonna happen. But what you're also not gonna do is you're not gonna worry about it in between. Just go your fucking job, dude. Work for the most, go to fucking McDonald's to work and drink Coca Cola while you're there. Like, go to the most corporate fucking places that you can find. Go to fucking Starbucks or you know, the big businesses. Go work at Google. I fucking hate Google. Go work there. Like, make these people, make these companies, make these businesses work for you. Kylie is. Kylie doesn't need fucking a nickel to her name, but she's happy to sell herself out to fucking Dunkin' Donuts. Why not? Fuck it. Like, I am a billionaire on my face. There's no reason for me to work whatsoever. I could literally just a hundred percent raise my children, be that person in my mansion with my organic garden, but instead, I'm gonna sell Dunkin' Donuts. Instead, I'm gonna sell pink Dunkin' Donuts drinks because I'm sure whatever the fuck is making them pink is real healthy for you. Drink up, kids. And slap some of the shit on your face while you're at it because that's also really great for your skin. Um, the people behind the companies, behind the brands, they give a fuck about you as much as you give a fuck about that company. Put it in perspective, keep that in your head. They are not worried about you, so you shouldn't worry about them. But I do feel that a lot of our sisters, that a lot of the beaties get their panties in a bunch worrying about corporate shit. Like, a lot of people will say, Oh, I don't like this person, I don't like that person because they're rich, because they're this. Who fucking cares, dude? First of all, rich doesn't mean shit. I mean, rich is nice because you have a fucking house. I have never, I've rented my entire adult life. I've never had reliable housing ever. Somebody could fucking rug pull me on my house my whole life. Hopefully I can change that. But nevertheless, it is what it is. I don't run around being like, oh, fuck everybody that has a house. Fuck the entire housing market because I can't afford one because I'm broke and I fucking link up with dropkick dudes. No. That's not what I'm gonna say. I'm going to keep it pushing and hopefully get to the point where I can buy my own fucking house. And no, I don't want a cheap, shitty one in fucking Louisiana. No. I want a nice house that's in New York City. Thank you. I'm sad enough that I don't have the $18,000 a month rent to get the apartment that I would really like to have. My preferred apartment that comes with a full. You know how this happened? My $18,000 apartment. So I'm trying to find an apartment in Manhattan that I can fit four people in in my price range. Impossible. Now you know that I live in Manhattan. I've been in the city for 10 years in Midtown, living in very luxurious, beautiful studio apartments, which, for one person, are divine. However, now that there's four people, really three, but I can't seem to get rid of my fucking husband, um, I need to figure out how I can accommodate them, and I can't do it in Manhattan. Play the music for me. Someone take a violin out. I can't, and I have been trying, I have been trying to figure out not only how am I not gonna be homeless, but how am I going to plot myself back home, which for me is New York City. Now I'm there, I'm literally looking at the fucking skyline, I'm five miles outside of Midtown, but I'm not gonna be able to plot myself directly back in. That was that was a killer, that was painful. But you know the people that will do that, that are plopped around there, that are they're the fucking people working for corporate America, making buco, bucko dollars. So shout out to them. I'm not mad at rich people, dude. Like, there's no reason to be like, oh, this person, I mean, I don't worship rich people, I don't give them any of my time. I'm not, you know, watching their television programs, for example. Like, fuck them. Take your money and go away. That's my biggest mantra. If I ever, when, not if when, ladies, I will die trying in the name of 50 Cent. Get rich or die trying, motherfucker. Like, that's the truth. That is the truth. And so, anyways, um, while I don't like worship the rich people, if you can't beat them, join them. Normally I can make money. I don't have any money because when I make it, I fucking spend it. Are you kidding me? Like, I am not someone that's out here. Put it this way, if I'm gonna have to go and suck the corporate cock, which I will do, I don't have a problem with that, I don't really care. As long as you're paying me, I don't actually see what this is like what the issue is, but better believe I'm gonna blow that money. Spend that shit, spend that shit. Yeah, dude. So while it's gotten me where I am, broke with nothing to my name, it has also afforded me a really colourful, interesting life that is in a book waiting to be edited, but I can't edit my book because I'm going to be poor. Well, I mean, I am poor because I'm going to be homeless. That's the difference. I was actually speaking to one of my friends in Australia, well, my only friend in Australia yesterday, and we were discussing the difference of being broke versus being homeless, because they are not the same things. You could be broke with something over your head, but homeless is homeless, and that's the route that I'm going if I don't actually make a if I don't lock the fuck out. You know what really annoys me about my situation? I can't even do anything different, dude. Be these, your mama is fucking wasted right now. Your mama's trashed right now, and the reason I'm so trashed is because I hit the day so fucking hard. Like, I wake up and I am just off the rank. I'm trying to find jobs, I'm interviewing, I'm entertaining my kids, I'm keeping my apartment together clean, stocked with food, like walking the dog. Like, dude, I'm not doing nothing. My husband, on the other hand, that fucking whatever gob of plasma, he's doing nothing. He thinks that he's watching my kids right now when really he needs to get the fuck out of the house and get a goddamn job so that we're not homeless. And for whatever reason, I can't seem to like get that through his head, so now I just don't even talk to him. Anyways, I'm getting off the topic of why corporate America is fine. Why, if you really want to be surly, if you want to be see, that's a good example. I could be pissed off. Why would I be pissed off of corporate America when I can just take out all of my rage on my husband? I mean, what the fuck else is he around for? Seriously. Um, find a way to harness your anger and your female rage and our fiery emotions, which we inevitably have, which are nestled inside of our bosoms. Take that and do something else with it outside of being mad at something you're not gonna fucking beat, dude. And honestly, if you can't beat them, join them, which is what I did. I ended up, I went from cleaning the fucking floors for 10 bucks an hour on my hands and knees to writing for chief executives of multi-billion dollar companies in New York City. Anything is possible when you put your head to it. And I have a bullshit, I have a degree in radio from a community college. Like I have been alone my whole life, and because well, my whole adult life, right? And so because I've been alone and on my own for 26 years now, 26 years, I didn't take a dollar from anyone. Never. Never. I not once went to someone and said, Hey babe, I need you to give me money for blah blah blah. I mean, mainly because I don't have anyone to go to. It's probably more so. It's probably more so because I don't really have anyone that will help me. I guess maybe if I did have someone to help me, I would go to them, I guess. I think in the situation I'm in, that's what you usually do. But nevertheless, what I didn't do was take out my fucking rage on corporate America. I made it work for me. Make it work for you, bitch. Make it work for you. Because even if you think you are not embedded in it, you are. Yeah, so when I was watching the TikTokers, when I was watching the people that are living in the sheds talking about how independent they are and how off-grid and how da-da-da-da, bitch, first of all, you're on a fucking phone that's full of metals that are being mined. It's definitely an iPhone or an Android, so shout out Apple and Google stock, which you are actively supporting. You have service somehow, and even if you're not paying for it, someone else is. So shout out Verizon because they're getting your fucking money right there. And also, that shed that you bought is from Ho Depot, which trades at fucking whatever, whatever. Bitch, don't be dumb. Just trust the process. Well, you can't trust the process, I take that back. Don't trust the process. Just be like, you know what? Oglyarchs and businesses run the world I live in, and I just have to make it as best and happy for me as I possibly can. And I'm not gonna sit around and blame Wall Street, blame corporations, or blame big business because my life is fucked. Because you, particularly listeners that are listening from the states, shout out to all our international listeners. But definitely people in this country, may you can make something happen, dude. You can. You can do something, you can figure it out. Even if I hit homelessness, which I'm really hoping that I'm not. So, ladies, strap in for the next four weeks because I'm just gonna have to do a and my homeless update is gonna come in the next four weeks. Right now, at this point, I'd say I'm only like 10% homeless because I feel like I can do something with this job. If I don't get this job, I'm going to go from 10% homeless to about 60% homeless. And in about a month or two, when I can't pay my rent anymore because I literally hit the floor. Uh yeah, hopefully that doesn't happen. But I'm not gonna sit around and blame corporate America for it. I'm not gonna sit around and say, damn the man, because I have to work. I'm literally going to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and trying to fucking get it cracking. Don't blame business for your life, don't blame a dude for your life, don't blame the only person that is in charge of your life is you. And even when it's shit, even when it sucks, it's still you. The good side of that is that because it's you, you can get yourself out of it, right? So, I'm gonna get back to it. I'm literally walking to the bodega so that I can buy a Wall Street Journal because I'm re-educating myself about the markets in case somebody decides to save me and give me a little bit of the money that there's soon to be big dark corporate forces are fucking raking in right now. So I need some of that money support my kids. We need to pass it around, pass the money around.