The Untold Art of Perseverance

Your mama is getting absolutely fucked by life right now, but somehow she’s still standing.

This week: PERSEVERANCE. What matters to you, what you’re willing to fight for, and how the fuck you keep going when everything seems determined to knock you flat.

Also: Australia, homelessness, a dog who apparently needs a six-month immigration process, and your mama once again discovering that nothing in her life can ever be simple.

BD BD. Don’t drop it, don’t stop it.

Transcript

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You're tuned in to BD B D. Bitch, don't be dumb. I'm your mama. No daddy's allowed. Oh. Bitches. Bitches. Bitches. Beaties. Lend me your ears. This is the bitch don't be dumb podcast. A podcast for biological women navigating the big bad world. This is a podcast hosted by your mama. A woman with life experience for miles. Trials and miles. Miles of trials. Ladies. What the fuck is going on? We made it through another week. Welcome all listeners to another episode of the Bitch Don't Be Dumb podcast. Beattie Beattie. Don't drop it. Don't motherfucking stop it. So, well, here we are after two weeks of episodes. Boohoo Wang. Um I'm still in boohoo mode, but I've actually resorted to vaping. Don't vape. Vaping's trash. I mean, vaping used to be great when you couldn't smoke anywhere. And you wanted to consume THC without an edible, then I guess you could vape. Stick to edibles, but nevertheless, the only reason I'm saying that I'm vaping is because. Well actually, I'm a regular vapor. I am a plug-in the wallflower vapor. But if I have a pen, like an icky caca oil pen, because they are, they're caca. But sometimes they do the trick. So right now, oil pens are pretty much carrying me through the next couple weeks as your mama continues my crusade to get ready to relocate to Australia. So I was thinking about an episode and I didn't want it to be another wham. And in light of my weighing, I thought, okay, well, what can we loop into this? What message is there? What message in the fuckery of my current life can I share with my ladies, teach them something, and potentially be funny? Because that's kind of the point of the podcast, right? I mean, I say some out there small and people get offended, people be hating, especially my women are not men episode, episode one, which I thought was pretty fucking straightforward, dude. If you got a dick, you're not a girl. Sorry that offends you. But people get really mad, get really, really angry. I got a lot of fucking pushback about that. But, anyways, I'm here to be the voice for straight ass bitches. Just, you know, normal girls, girls that like to get dicked down, no offense to our lesbian friends, girls that just want to, you know, have a nice life and do what they want to do. And and I started thinking all this, and what's what's your mama's message for the key? The key to sanity, particularly if you are a bit such as your mama, who, for those of you just catching up, have been completely and utterly self-sufficient for 27 years. 27 big ones. My friends, I have been in these streets without any man supporting me, without taking a nickel off of any family, they don't exist, anyways. I have been doing this alone. And I never was really impressed with that until now that my life is a shitbox. Because even though I'm on the way to hell in a handbasket, I'm still standing and I'm still fucking fighting. And that's why this week we're gonna talk about persistence. You need to be persistent. How can I be persistent when I don't know what the fuck I'm doing? I'm very persistent at getting hammered. I'm very persistent at having loose sets because I'm fucking the wrong guys. I mean, that's me, you can be persistent at a lot of things. But somewhere in all the things that you like, and all the things that you're doing, and all the fuckery that we engage in on this wild rock spinning through the fucking atmosphere, you need to be persistent about really one thing. Like everyone, whether you like it or not, or you admit it or not, or you come out, there's one thing no one can cross. There's one piece of you no one can touch. And in that same light, there's also something that drives you, something that you want, something that you're passionate about. I feel a lot of people have a hard time finding that. So, for those of you just catching up, I also do tarot. I've been reading tarot, oh Lord have mercy, 30 years. I've been reading tarot for about 30 years, and in doing that, I have spent time working as a spiritual advisor, as an actual counselor with people, using intuitive tarot to find out who the fuck you are, and then steer. It's ironic that I actually do that considering the shit show of my life. But, anyways, yeah, I do do that. So, in doing that, I've learned through counseling and helping a lot of people that a lot of people's problem is they don't know what they want per se, or they don't know what makes them happy, they don't know, you know, they're just there's this sort of this sort of haze, this sort of confusion. And really, it's important to build yourself around that. It's important to fight that because it comes to all of us. Are you kidding me? I'm queen of what the fuck. I'm sitting around like, what is happening? Where am I? I mean, this I'm serious, this is half the time. I'm living in a town. I fucking I needed to get close to the city because I was trying to get back in, and so I'm like, what's a new place that I could explore? And I just moved to some random fucker that I heard on a podcast. Not one of my brightest moments, but you know, do what you do. I had the experience. I'm very passionate about new experiences, I'm very passionate about living life. And when it comes down to persistence, what do I persist? Because I've never had anyone. And I've learned this about myself, you know, going through what I'm going through, beauty. So I'm here to share it. Hopefully, get your little brain spinning, and you can learn something about yourself too. Because nothing fucking teaches you about yourself like going through a personal fucking crisis, I can tell you that much. So, anyways, in all this self-reflecting, I'm like, you know, the one thing that I've always been persistent about is my motherfucking self. In the past, the only thing that I was persistent about was me. Because no one's looking after me. And if I don't look after myself, I will literally get fucked. And that's the situation I'm in now. That's why I have to go to Australia and throw myself at the government and hope that somebody helps me because I'm fucked, dude. It finally caught me, mate. It catches you, and when it catches you, it's brutal, mate. If it catches you, it's brutal. But, anyways, since I've had my children, my persistence has shifted. My persistence has changed. There's something beautiful about this, but there's also something dangerous about this. And these are all the things that are going through my little old head while I'm trying to untangle the largest disaster that I have faced on this earth so far. So, in terms of like surviving, I mean I've been through way worse emotional shit and fucking personal shit. Oh, please. That I've been through heaps worse. But in terms of like, oh shit, I'm gonna sleep in the street, this sucks. Yeah, no, I haven't really looked that in the face like I'm staring at it now. Nevertheless, once I had my children, my persistence shifted because now I am persistent for them. Now my persistence, now everything. Mate, let me tell you something. Having kids is the weirdest shit ever. And I have to say that something comes along with when you have your kids. So no offense to the 21-year-olds that have their kids sitting in a chair on the floor while they do TikTok dances for four hours to feed them. Because those TikTok dances are feeding your kids. So I'm not judging them, I'm not saying anything about that. But there's a very large- Well, I am saying something, there's one thing I'm gonna say. There's a very large difference between being a very young, young beadie, being a baby beady, if you will, a baby with a baby. If you're in your early 20s and you have a baby, that's a baby with a baby. No shade, no offense. That's just your brain, isn't it? Your brain grows till you're 25 years old, friends. Get your fucking head around that and make sure you teach your children when they're gonna go out there and pollute their bodies with whatever garbage when they're 17 years old. Your brain is growing until you're 25. If you think it's a good idea to go out and have some dude blow inside you, dump you three months later, and leave you 22 years old with a baby. Well, maybe you should have let your brain fucking do its thing until, you know, it got to the end. I digress. So my kids came in my 40s totally by surprise. I used to think I was a hard bitch, I thought I was a rough bitch, I thought I was a surly bitch. These little boys melted me, beaties, they broke me down. They broke me down. Not only did they break me down, but my purpose and perseverance in life completely altered, completely shifted. And that's something else I have to say. Now, shout out young mom life. People are gonna be like, oh, you're just an old angry bitch, and you're jealous because you're gonna croak by the time your kids blah blah. First of all, modern medicine, everyone's living to be a hundred years old. I'm not fucking going anywhere and become quick friends. Second of all, I would much rather have less years with them on Earth if it means that by the time they join me, I already know what the fuck is going on. Now, considering that I'm about to be homeless, I'm estranged from my family, I have no job, and my marriage isn't shambles. I guess some people might argue that doesn't really sound like you've got it going on, but you know what, bitch, I got it going on because I would not be standing. People have broken for less. I promise you that. So, perseverance, my friends, perseverance. You need to know what matters to you. You want to fucking dance ballet in a world famous circuit? Dance ballet in the world circuit. You know, I was talking to a lady the other day. Her kid is in Japan right now and works for Cirque du Soleil. How fucking cool is that? And you know what's sad though? This is actually sad. It's cool that she works for Cirque du Soleil. Here's me like, oh, gee, that's amazing, cool as shit ever. And then her mom's like, yeah, and she's got the worst fucking depression that you could ever imagine. Like you ever imagine. You never know who you're dealing with, BDs. And keep that in fucking mind because I've been going through straight hell for the last two years. The only reason why I've gotten through it is because it dawned on me that what matters the most to me is perseverance. Perseverance in myself, perseverance with my children, perseverance with my man, even though he drives me fucking crazy, and perseverance with this life. And that's deep as shit. And that's what I'm not saying, not everybody has to have that because most people have someone. Most people have some kind of support network, so they can be like, oh, I'm settled and I'm I'm good. I don't have that, I don't have to worry about sleeping in the street. I'm gonna persevere in my career, I'm gonna persevere on my love for animals or whatever the ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Oh, sorry, yuck. My fucking dog, yucky yucky yuck. God. My dog was looking something, and I think it was a mouse, and I think it was alive. Anyways, you need to keep your shit together, focus, and persevere. Let's talk about my fucking dog about persevering. This is a nightmare with my dog. Let's shift to the nightmare of my dog. So, me trying to move to Australia in six weeks, right? Fresh. It takes six months for a dog to get geared up to be able to go there. And so there's two things that are gonna happen. One, I'm gonna find somebody that can foster this dog and that can help me for six months. Or two, I'm gonna have to give them away. I gotta re-home them. I gotta find out. Yeah. And my children will be devastated. So right now I've got to persevere at that cut as well and figure out what I'm gonna do with this fucking dog. Anyways, my point is this figure out what you're passionate about, figure out what you want, drill it into the guts of your soul, and just make it your top priority. Make it what matters, and don't let anything get in front of that. Don't let anything come between that. People, so my trauma, according to the clinicians, is from institutional stonewalling. And institutional stonewalling happens when organizations such as legal establishments, police establishments, uh, what other establishments? Government establishments, where establishments that are normally built and constructed to actually support people fuck you over. And they have fucked me over in violent ways. I'm talking violent ways, like almost killed me in violent ways. So after a while, it becomes very difficult for me to have to lean into anything, to have to, I don't really want to deal with any kind of public things anymore. Like, and it's funny, it's funny to say that as a New Yorker, New York is such a different place, dude. And that's why I'm that's why I am a New Yorker. You can live in Manhattan and be amongst it and swim in it, but you don't really have to directly deal with anything. It's not until you're out trying to survive in the randomness of everywhere else that you end up having to deal with these fucking things, and mate, they have not dealt with me well. So, my point is, even when I was getting my ass beat by all these things that are technically supposed to be there to help you, I still have stood on ten toes. I still have straightened my spine and fucking kept going back and kept doing whatever the fuck I need to do to make things happen. I never let anyone come between me and myself, frankly. You know, I feel like I did once. I think there was one relationship where I moved, I switched apartments but like faster than to be near some fucking douchebag that I was dating in the city. That was fucking stupid. And it didn't last. I moved, I stayed near him for like fucking two months, I moved again. I'm always moving. But um, I feel like that's the only example I can pull where I really let someone now it's like I know it probably sounds weird because it's like, duh, shouldn't you be your own priority? Shouldn't this be the same for everybody? But like I said before, not necessarily. If you got someone looking after you, if you don't have to actually worry about how you're gonna eat, if you don't have to worry about how you're gonna support two kids, how you're gonna pay your rent, how you're gonna do every single fucking thing alone because you don't have anybody, then you can like put your energy toward other things. Like I said, that's when you just learn to knit. That's when you join the sewing club. You find something to do, you garden, you know what I'm saying? People garden, I think. People like I love my writing and I persevere about my writing. That would be number two on my list. Number one is my children now, right? Number one is my children. It used to be me, then you have kids. They're actually technically me, so you know, it's just like another extension of you. What I was starting to say before before my dog tried to eat that fucking mouse and make me throw up is that the thing about having kids when you're older is you have so much more fucking life experience that you offer them. You bring so much more to the table, and you understand the circle so much more, so much more. And anyone that wants to contest that, good for you, dude. Like I you, you know, respect, keep your opinion, but nah, you can't tell me different. Having kids in my 40s absolutely rocked my fucking world, dude. Rocked my world, rocked my world, gave me purpose, gave me perspective, gave me motivation, gave me, you know, it was a gift from God. And so these things often come at crazy times. I say to my best friend when I speak to her regularly, the irony of my life right now is I'm living the best and worst part simultaneously. It's a very yin-yang moment, like seriously. That shit is true. Yin yang, black, white, dark light, all the shit, however you want to look at it. Opposites, mate. Life, everything is a perfect opposite. It's true. I really believe that. Everywhere you look, everything you see, and the things that are most divine have the equal balance. When things are out of balance, shit gets weird. If shit's like overly happy, psycho, it gets like manic, ecstatic, fucking crazy. And then if people are shit's too low, it gets too fucking oh my god, doomsday, fucking conspiracy theory, psycho. You don't really want to be living in that either. You want to find somewhere that has kind of a balance in between that just sort of keeps you bobbing along. And that's where I'm at right now. But I will say, according to my manic ass personality, the fucking highs are high and the lows are low, people. So THC, thank you for trying to fucking keep me somewhere steady in between so I don't absolutely lose my fucking mind. Perseverance is the message. I'm gonna pivot to a little bit of an update because I know y'all are wondering. I know y'all are wondering what's really going on. But your mama, that's great. I'm gonna persevere and be a fashion designer. I'm gonna persevere and be a really good wife. I'm gonna persevere and be a great mom. Like, whatever the fuck, dude. Whatever you want to persevere, but keep that message in mind before we shift. Keep the message in mind of you don't have to share it with anyone. You can bullshit through your teeth. Tell your husband that the only thing you want to do is be a fucking housewife and take care of him. And then while you're using his money, because he's gone all day, then do what you want to do. Then learn how to fucking make pottery and go up in a studio. You know what I'm saying? Something like that. But nevertheless. This week fucked me. I'm still fucked. Um, top fuck. The top fuck of my week was some little girl who's like, hey, oh, I can totally watch your dog for six months. Absolutely. And I kind of was suspicious, but she was a little girl, and I'm like, you must have family. I've heard. I've heard of these people. I know they exist. I know that people do actually have family and people that help them out and shit. And they're like, oh my god, look at this poor woman who's about to give away her four-year-old's fucking dog if she can't find someone. So, anyways, I drank the Kool-Aid. I thought she was gonna help me. We decided to meet up. I go to the coffee house to meet her, and the first thing out of her mouth, oh, do I have to keep would he be staying with me? Would he be staying at my house? It's like for fuck's sake. And I knew she was gonna say that. I had even said that to my squad. I'm like, as soon as I see this girl, the first thing out of her mouth is gonna be like, does he have to fucking because she was young, you know what I'm saying? Like, I knew that she wouldn't have her own place, but I'm like, maybe she's just like living with someone or she has roommates or fucking whatever. But no, that was incorrect, and she fucked me. She fucked me bad, and she really fucked me. These people that keep fucking me over, mainly what they do is they put something on the table. And because my nervous system right now is is fried, it really, really is. Like I make jokes and shit, but like by the books, according to the experts, I'm a fucking trauma bomb, dude. I'm a trauma bomb. I'm literally in the middle of heightened, aggravated, complex PTSD that has not gone anywhere for two years. I can't get and it's it's really, really fucked. It's been a completely fucked up situation. But, anyways, so what that means is that I can only really deal with one thing at a time. Like my multi multitasking is bullshit. It's like, can you hold this cup and walk up the stairs? I'm like, no, but I can throw it and see if it reaches, and then hopefully just walk up there and get it. Like, I can't, I can't do more than one thing at a fucking time. So, for example, when those people were like, hey, we want to hire you to be a big weave writer again and save your ass and give you some money. They fucked me for a month because I went through so many interviews. I interviewed like four people, you know what I'm saying? That was a month of my life gone. And so now this little girl comes up to me and she's like, Oh, hey, I can totally help you with your dog. Like, just say the word, no worries. And I'm like, okay, and then I'm fucking waiting three days to go and meet her at a fucking coffee shop and see if I can get it popping. And I go and meet her and she blows me off. Then, so this is number three, right? Things happen in threes. I do believe that too. Things do happen in sets of threes. Hmm. I find this girl on fuckbook, who apparently has an apartment in Australia. Never mind you. I don't use fuckbook, by the way. I I should, especially because I have so many things to promote, like my podcasts and my books, and like if nothing else, I should have a fucking Yo Mama page, just a page, but I just hate it so much. I just feel like it just really sparked the downfall of existence. And I I I hate using it. But marketplace is helpful sometimes. So every once in a while I gotta fucking and then, but then because people in fuckbook are such idiots, when I make a profile and I try to actually use it on a marketplace, they're all like, oh, you're spam, you're a bot because I don't have any friends. So I literally had to put in my fucking profile, I make this for marketplace. So people like leave me alone. That's Facebook, dude. That's exactly what fuckbook is all about. So, anyways, this girl's on there. She's like, I have an apartment, and I am going to New Zealand for a year, so I need someone to watch it for me. That beaties is what a gypsy bitch like your mama calls money. That is the money shot, dude. Because Australian real estate is fucked. Part of the reason why I left two years ago, and since I've left, I've had three apartments. I've literally flipped, I've lived in three different places over here. No worries. You want to move, you got some money, you find a place, you move in. Very simple in the state. It's not that fucking complicated of a process to get a fucking apartment, especially not New York City. Give me a break or anywhere around here. No. You get an apartment in two seconds. In Australia, you pretty much have to suck the real estate agent off whilst fingering their asshole. And again, like I said, my multitasking right now is shithouse, so I don't know how I'm gonna really pull that off. But that's pretty much what they expect you to do if you'd like somewhere to live. It's fucking invasive. And you know what's even more disgusting about it? Once you're living in the property, so you get your lease for the property, these motherfuckers come every three months to inspect the property. Every three months? Every three months? They come four times a year to inspect where you live. Can you imagine? How old am I? 12? Bitch. I've been fucking renting properties now for 26 years, people. And you're gonna come in and sh and I'm gonna fights with them. Oh, child. When one of them told me to sweep the garage, uh, I kind of told her to fuck herself. And needless to say, they did not renew my lease. So I've had like the worst, and that's really my biggest problem with Australia. Like, trying to find a place to live, it's a joke, dude. And don't think you're gonna buy anything because everything costs a million bucks. Like, I'm not happy about the economic platform of Australia, the political position, like, but I'm not happy about that anywhere. I'm not gonna base my life. You can't base your life on economics and politics. And again, getting back to the yin-yang moment, everything's got good, everything's got bad. Some people say that if you take that position, you're being weak, but I don't really think so. I don't think that you're being weak by taking that position at all. I think that you're just being realistic, and what can you take? I've said before, I don't want to raise my kids in the United States. That's in that's no shade. Patriots would hate me for saying that, but believe it or not, I still am a patriot. I love this country. I love New York. Dude, New York City is the best place in the world, and it's in the United States of America. Therefore, I love the USA. But in terms of where I'm gonna bring my kids up, and in terms of where my perseverance lies, right? Let's get back to that. What do I want more than anything now? What I want more than anything now is for my babies to have the most abundant, loving, interesting, exciting life childhood that any child could ever be afforded. That's what I want for my kids. I don't want them to have to sit in these apartments, because honestly, and this will make me upset to say. And I don't want them sitting around. And I feel like sometimes I wonder if it's my fuck-up family, like I don't have anything to do with them. I haven't for I mean for 20 years I haven't had anything to do with these people. But I feel like when I'm like like physically in their environment, like none of them are in New York City plays. They couldn't fucking hack that, but they're like within a hundred miles of me, you know. And I think that like not having anyone I've learned to live with and I can live with, it sucks when I have kids now. Because you hope that when you have kids you at least like have a partner or someone. You know, the and this is a really fucked up, this is another fucked up element of my life. My fucking dropkick husband, who clearly has mental problems at this point. I'm just like, man, you've there's something wrong with you. Um he is a commendable father in terms of day-to-day care. I wouldn't say the best, because I have to correct his temper more often than I'd like to. But just his attitude, just how he talks, don't put fucking like just his fucking shit that comes out of his mouth. Sometimes I need to correct. But besides that, he's a reasonable father, and he's a dude, right? Like he's like one of the last actual heterosexual men on earth, so I'm happy to have him raising my kids just to be who they are. Just so they I don't care, they can grow up and be whatever they want, but I want them to grow up with the fundamentals of we're your parents, we love each other, and most importantly, we love you. That's all that really matters. And then the kids can be whoever they want. But he's a bloke, he's a dude, he's a rugby player, he likes to drive fast, he rides a skateboard, he knows how to surf. Like, he's a good dad. He's a good dad to have. If he were a kid, you would be happy to have him as your dad. He just cannot make a dollar for some reason. I don't understand why he can't make 50 cents, he can't make two cents. He can't make yeah, I have been with this person for five and a half years. And in the five and a half years that I've been with this fucking person on my life, he has put down he gave me 300 bucks once, he gave me 300 bucks once in Australia, and then he gave me the 200 bucks here because he went and cut trees for like a day. So uh yeah. $500 when you're raising four people doesn't really get you too far. It's pretty much a week's worth of groceries the way that my kids eat, but nevertheless, so wow, I got emo for a moment there. Woof. Sorry, BD. See, that's why I don't like that's why I don't like doing the fucking talk about my life sections. Let's just talk about stupid shit. But no, this wasn't stupid shit this week. I hope that y'all learned something, and I hope that you go away thinking, you know what I'm saying? Because I'm not just talking here my own shit, I'm talking because I really uh back it up and I wish that I had a yo mama. Maybe if I had a yo mama when I was a younger lass, I wouldn't be facing homelessness with fucking five dollars in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? Maybe it'd be a little bit different. But, anyways, I am quietly confident. I mean, the beat goes on, yo. Life doesn't just stop. So I am grateful. Like, I honestly do feel it sounds weird, but I did have some kind of ouch, you fucking fucking what the fuck? So if anyone wants a fucking dog, um, DM me. If anybody wants a dog, DM me. And I do feel that I've had some kind of like enlightenment. I feel like I've had some kind of something touched me and told me to go back to Australia. And I know my podcasts are getting a little bit too deep, particularly considering that, like I said, you know, we just started off talking about don't tattoo your fucking face and try to like be less gay. But at the same time, I do actually live like you know, a real life, and my real life is fundamentally based on my spirituality, and I think that you get a lot more connected to your faith when you don't ever have anything outside of it. So I live a pretty groovy life in terms of my intuitive vibes, and my intuitive vibe is essentially just trying to listen to the Lord, leave it to the Lord, and it really hit me like a ton of bricks. All of a sudden, I was just like, fuck the bullshit, I'm going back to Australia. I'm done with this, I'm done. I came over here. The worst part is I came over here in a really aggravated state. So when I first had the episode that fucked up my nervous system that burnt me down, um, it it fucked up my whole life, as you can imagine, and it fucked up my relationship, and there was a lot of tension in my house all of a sudden because I was losing my mind, and I was. I gotta wear it, I gotta take it on the chin, dude. Like my husband did not act correctly back to me, like he doesn't get the fucking loving partner prize for how he handled or tried to handle me. He obviously didn't do it very well because I packed up my two fucking kids and I bounced. So, anyways, I'm glad that we made it through. I'm glad that we're on the other side. But in doing that, fuck me. I've learned a lot about trauma, and I plan when I get back to Australia to start doing writing workshops to help people write through the darkness, write yourself out. Because that's really what I'm doing. Trust and believe when you want to know how your mama, how do you actually how do you really? What do you really do? Because people mate, people have cracked for less. My best friend, who I've mentioned before, I've known her for fucking 40 years, literally more than that now. We grew up on the same street, another yin-yang moment. We could not be any more different, we could not be any more different than the two of us. Like Morley, this lovely person, she has never had a drink of alcohol, she has never experienced experimented with anything. She hadn't left the country until a few years ago. She went to Ireland, which is like the safest place she could possibly go because everybody speaks English. Um, anyways, we're just entirely different people. And when I speak to her, she's always a good force to lean into because she's so normal. Like, I'm so wild and she's so normal. And so it's helpful when I tell her how fucked up my life is and all the things that keep happening to me. Because I'm like, is this in my head? Like, is this really happening to me? And so now I'll leave you with this. I'm about to find out. Hopefully, hopefully, I'm gonna talk to you guys next week. I have somewhere to live for a year, that would be amazing. I can't pay for it, so I'm gonna have to, you know, smile my way through that. I mean, I'll be able to pay for it, but I have to get a fucking job, and that's the other thing. I know in Australia we'll be able to find work. It won't pay shit, it won't pay anything, but it'll be something. Whereas over here, man, I couldn't find anything. It was fucked, dude. It's been fucked over here. So, watch your fingers that next week I have somewhere to live. That'll be exciting for me. I'm gonna try to get rid of this dog. The dog is like it's sucks that I can't stay and raise him because he's a year and a half. He needs to be trained, obviously. I'm trying to do the best I can, but anyways, that's my next fucking saga. I have no idea what I'm gonna do with it. And these this is the reason why I get up at 4 o'clock in the fucking morning. It's about 4 30 in the morning right now, babies. Real talk. My uh yeah, I haven't slept for I couldn't tell you when. But, anyways, I don't want to leave on a bum fucking trash note. So I want to say I love y'all and say thank you for listening. And my numbers are going up, which is exciting. So people either like hearing the downfall of my life better, or they're just starting to smarten up and find my show. I'm not sure. But if you got a friend, tell them about the bitch don't be dumb podcast. Tell them about our little corner of the world for me, will you? BD BD Bitch Don't Be Dumb. Don't drop it, don't stop it. I love you all, and have a wonderful week. Have a blessed week.