Why you keep repeating the same patterns (and how to start seeing them)

Have you ever felt like you end up in the same place, just in different situations?

The same type of dynamic, the same feeling, even when things look completely different on the surface.

That’s not random. It’s patterns.

In this insight you will you'll see how patterns show up, and how that gives you the chance to choose differently.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Welcome to the Nelligne Stadius podcast. Here we will explore fear, patterns, and what is meant to lead yourself through life. Sometimes the reason you feel stuck in your life isn't because you don't know what to do. It's because you're repeating something you're not even aware of. And today I want to talk about patterns and how they show up in ways you don't always see them. And these patterns can show up in different ways in our lives. And they can be very subtle and they can be bigger. For example, you can have a relationship pattern, which means that you that you're drawn to the same dynamic of a certain type of relationship over and over and over again. Or you keep reacting the same way. If someone is telling you that you're doing something wrong and you hurt them, your response might not be that you take responsibility for it. It may be that you feel threatened inside. So you use anger against them or denial. And you do this in many situations. And you may get this feeling of why does this keep happening to me? Why does these situations come up over and over again? So I'm gonna give you an example of how a type of pattern can look like in reality. Cause I realized I had a pattern in how I relate to people. I would open up, connect really, really deeply and give a lot. Then at some point, something in the situation would feel very off, and I would believe it's the person in front of me. So instead of stepping back or adjusting myself, I would stay and I would tolerate it for a long time, and then suddenly I would just cut the person off completely. And before I was aware of this, I just thought something was wrong with the situation or the person, but I didn't see that I was repeating the same pattern. And I also realized that this came from how I learned to connect growing up, giving a lot to feel safe or accepted. So that little funky feeling is not something dangerous. It may be uncomfortable, but it's pointing towards something that is important to see on. And this may not only show up in relationships for you, it can show up in how you do your work, how you handle stress, and how you avoid things, or even how you talk to yourself. So if you're listening to this, start to notice when something feels familiar, not just uncomfortable. And ask yourself the question where have I felt this before? Because the thing is that it's nothing wrong, and you don't need to fix everything at once. You just need to start by seeing it. Because once you see it you can start to choose differently. And you may feel that you need just space to slow down a bit. Maybe you already became aware of something in yourself, and you need to land in your awareness. And I want to invite you to something. I've actually opened up a cottage where I'm going to start having small gatherings, and the first one is on the ninth of May this year. The gatherings they are here in Sweden. It's really just a space to come exactly as you are and where you are. Be in nature, meet other people and just land a little bit more in yourself. So if you feel drawn to that, you can find more information on my social media under my name Nelignestadius. And if you have any questions about these gatherings, you're welcome to reach out to me as well. And take this with you. What keeps showing up in your life isn't just random. It is something that is ready to be seen by you. And once you see it, you can choose differently.