Insight: The Vision and the Vehicle

The vehicle can change. The vision remains.

In this episode, we explore why we become attached to specific people, outcomes, paths and how life begins to move again when we remember what we're truly longing for underneath them.

Transcript

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Welcome to the Nelligne Stadius podcast. Here we will explore fear, patterns, and what is meant to lead yourself through life. You don't suffer because you don't know what you want. You suffer because you confuse the vision with the vehicle. You think you want that relationship, that house that you're longing for, the business or the opportunity that stands in front of you. But that's not actually the thing that you're longing for. So what is the vision and what is the vehicle? The vision might be that you want a house on the countryside. But the longing underneath that is something else peace, nature, freedom, and having the space at that house. The countryside then becomes just simply one of the possible vehicles towards that vision. The vehicle is the form that your mind has chosen. That this house must be in one certain area of the world. It has to be that, so it's all or nothing. It must turn out that way. Otherwise I'm not satisfied. Otherwise my life will not be completed. And in this you suffer. Because then you attach your vision to only one viticle. I need it in order to feel good. I need it in order to succeed in my life. And that's where you trap yourself. Because when the vehicle disappears, you think the vision disappears too. But it doesn't. Let's say you spend years believing that what you want the most in your life is a relationship. You think about it constantly. You picture what life would look like when you finally meet the right person. You imagine the conversations, the trips you would make together, waking up next to them, and building a future together. And because the longing of it is so strong, you become convinced that the relationship itself is the answer. Then one day you meet someone and suddenly that person becomes incredibly important. Not just because of who they are, but because you have unconsciously become attached to everything that person represents to you. The relationship is no longer just a relationship. It has become the viticle for feeling chosen, feeling safe, feeling understood, feeling loved, feeling like you belong to someone. And that's where the difficult part comes in. Because now you're not only relating to the person in front of you, you're relating to the vision that you attached to that person. Then imagine that that relationship doesn't work out. The person leaves you, and everything feels like it's been taken away from you. Not just the person, the future, the dreams, the possibilities. But if you look closely, what disappeared was not necessarily your vision. The vision was love, connection, partnership, and to build a life with someone. What disappeared was only one vehicle for that vision. And that's the important distinction. Because when you confuse the vision with the vehicle, losing the vehicle feels like losing everything. But when you become aware of the vision underneath it, you realize that that vision is still alive. The form may change, the path may change, the person may change, but the vision itself remains. Because what's easy to do is to replace the vertical before you discover what visions you want. Because you never identify the vision underneath the vehicle. And the awareness part of it is that it's easy to not choose the vertical consciously. The mind chooses it for you automatically. Like if you would get into that relationship, you would finally feel loved. Because the viticle becomes so attached to the feeling they can look almost like the same thing. The viticle is a relationship. The vision is love, connection, and longing. But what you see is I need a person. Because what if the thing that you're chasing is not actually that thing? Because if someone comes to you and say I want to move to Italy, do they? Maybe they want to. But maybe what they're actually longing for is the adventure, the freedom, the simplicity, the nature around. Italy is just a current viticle for that person. And that doesn't mean that Italy is wrong. Because you can think that the viticle doesn't matter. No, the viticle matters, but it's not the source of the feeling. So once you become aware of the vision you want, you're no longer trapped by only one viticle towards that. Because before awareness, your happiness depends on that thing to happen, that relationship. And after awareness, you're longing for the connection. Because now all of a sudden it becomes thousands of different viticles out there. The vision stays, but the viticle can change. If you are obsessed with something, ask yourself this. If I got this tomorrow, what would that allow me to feel? Then ask yourself, and if I felt that, what would that give me? And keep going. Because the first answer isn't the vision. It's another vehicle. For example, you want more money. Why? So I can quit my job. Why? So I can do what I want. Why? So I can do what I want. Why? So I can feel free. Now you're getting closer to the vision. The moment you stop clinging to the viticle, you become aware to possibilities. Because now life can surprise you. The vision stays the same, but the road there may look completely different than you imagined. Because in the end, the question isn't how do I get what I want? The question is what is it that you're really longing for underneath it all?