How To Build Strength From The Inside Out ~ With Bec Chidiac ~

Strength and Resistance training goes far beyond aesthetics and today's episode could just change your life! This is a conversation with Bec Chidiac surrounding the importance of strength training, prioritising yourself, finding joy in movement and building true self confidence. 

This season is all about the evolution of you, exploring growth, change and what it means to step into the next version of yourself. 

Cassie Davenport is an experienced and degree qualified naturopath and nutritionist, Cassie is passionate about co-creating achievable and sustainable solutions with her clients. Her approach involves combining the latest evidence based research with traditional herbal medicine methods and believes small changes can create a big impact.

 If you loved this episode, follow Cassie on Instagram HERE for more, and HERE to learn more about working with Cassie one-to-one.

Connect with Bec HERE

The information shared in this episode is general in nature and is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for personalised medical, nutritional or therapeutic advice. Cassie is not responsible for any actions taken based on the content of this episode. Always consult a qualified health professional before making changes to your health, diet or lifestyle.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

First, it's training yourself to prioritize yourself. You can't even notice the joy inside of that unless you do come up for air.

SPEAKER_01 0:12

And so what's really underneath that struggle, do you think?

SPEAKER_03 0:18

I feel more peer pressured to do strength training and eat protein than I did to take drugs when I was a teenager.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Totally. Add creatine to that too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:28

100%. As women, you know, we don't work in a continuous cycle like the men out there.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Welcome to In with Cathy. I'm Cathy Davenport, your host, Naturpath, Clinical Nutritionist. This season is all about the evolution of you. It's simple supportive conversations where we cut through the noise and talk real wellness for real women. This is a space for everyone who's done with extremes and the pressure of doing it all. It's for the women who are ready to come home to themselves. This episode is such an important topic. We are going to cut through all the misinformation out there when it comes to movement. My guest today is a qualified personal trainer, she's a Pilates instructor, she's the former owner of Peach's Pilates, and she has now set back to be their head trainer. Her name is Bet and she has been in the fitness industry for years. She has actually gravitated into a position of coaching women around movement that they love. And I think what is really important in today's day and age is we are told what we have to do and how we have to do it and how many times a week we have to do it and what weights we should be lifting. And really, I think we're getting further and further away from doing movement that we truly love that brings us joy. And so today is all about just cutting through that noise and figuring out what is going to best serve us moving forward. As well as being just an iconic member of the fitness industry, she's also a mum of two. And as mums, we are always on the juggle. So you may hear her little one throughout today's episode as we record. He's very cute. We cover so much in today's conversation. It is truly an episode for every woman. And we're beginning our conversation today around the importance of strength training.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Strength training matters beyond aesthetics. It is so important to kind of get that frame out of a woman's head. I think, you know, women for so many years have been conditioned to train smaller, you know, be smaller, eat smaller. And strength training is it's for your longevity, you know, it's for your older you. And I think that when you put strength training and women together, the first thing a woman might think that, you know, if they're beginning their fitness journey or they're thinking that they do need to add strength or heavy resistance training into their program because, you know, it's hard to ignore the noise of how important it is, is they think that they're going to get bulky. But unless they're following an insane program and have the intention of being a heavy weight lifter Olympian, they are not going to get bulky. What they are going to do is build muscle mass, which women lose through their 30s. And unless you are building up that muscle mass, you are compromising your bone density. So if you start looking at it as what is this doing for future self, rather than like, what is this going to look like in the mirror? That's where the kind of mind shift happens. But I'll tell you what, aesthetically, it does build a woman's body into a strong, toned, capable, confident body. Like I think what strength training also does is it reminds you of how capable you are. Like I've noticed over the last couple of weeks coming back into my strength training after having my second, is I'm like, I am strong. Like, I'm not focusing on the rolls that hang over my tights when I'm doing, you know, a deadlift or a heavy squat. I'm actually focusing on the fact that oh, I'm here lifting heavier this week.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

I'm doing more.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

I'm not looking at the things that, you know, I aren't important.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Yeah, and it's that part that it is not that's not important and how incredible our our body is that we just built a human from scratch from the inside and birthed them first and foremost. Like, of course our body is gonna change. Where I said to a lady last week, we're transformers, like we change, and if we give it the right environment, we just change back.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

We do. We do, we do, and over time, um, strength training isn't a quick fix, you know? But when done consistently, it hangs around, it stees, it works with your body, not against it.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

And I guess beyond aesthetics and beyond our future self as well, in terms of how it's going to impact us years down the track, making sure that we can stand up out of a chair and get out of bed and open a jar and live independently and all of those things, building muscle can really impact hormones and mood and energy levels. And that's so important, I guess, for busy mums, especially.

SPEAKER_03 5:27

100%. Look, I think any movement is important to anyone's, I guess, like mental load, mental health, like your nervous system. We do so much. I feel like there's so much of the inner work, like come back to your breath, meditate, talk therapy, you know, journaling and all of that. Whereas with any kind of training, but particularly strength training, you've got an outward kind of way of getting moving things out, moving your energy out. You know, strength training. And as women, you know, we don't work in a continuous cycle like the men out there.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

Yes. Yes. Testosterone, highest in the morning, lowest at night, rinse and repeat. We're on a 30-day cycle of 100%. The end flow.

SPEAKER_03 6:18

Strength training when you're doing it. So when you first get started with strength training, it boosts your testosterone for about 48 hours. Like as you're doing it. The more you train, the more you need, which is quite funny. So the fitter you are, the more you need to do it. But it does. It adds that, it increases your testosterone, and which for women is super important. It helps burn off your stress hormones like cortisol as well, which, you know, for women, that's that's a big thing. That's where we kind of like store a lot of our. I feel like I'm I don't want to say the word weight, but I feel like it's hard to change your body when you're holding on to that stress hormone. It's like inflammation in the body. And for your hormones, it just like it grounds, it keeps you grounded. It can keeps you coming back to where you are and brings so much awareness to your body and how your body is feeling. And our hormones are such an up and down roller coaster. It's awesome with weight. So different to like running and cardio with weights, you can adjust your weights, you can adjust your reps. Um, I work with women where I'm like, you know, it doesn't mean that you can't work out four out of four weeks of your cycle. You can absolutely work out every single week. You can just change how much you're lifting, how many reasons you're doing. And it's very adjustable and adaptable to where you're at, and weight training can definitely meet you where you're at in that moment.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

And give you what you need in that moment as well. I often hear that, like, oh, I'm not lifting this week because, and I was like, no, no, no. Like, yes, you're more inflamed in that lutile phase and your cytokines are through the roof and you're more prone to injury during that time, but that doesn't mean we stop. That means we adjust the the level, like either reps or your weight and whatever you want to adjust and move forward with that.

SPEAKER_03 8:09

Yeah, it's finding that kind of happy medium as well, like a hundred percent, you know, women with PCOS and um that deal with, you know, really heavy periods and bleeds, it's important to absolutely tune into your body um and rest 100%, but you don't have to take the whole week off. You can learn how to move inside of that, and weight training really does that in a way that it scientifically supports your stress hormones.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

Absolutely. I actually try and think of when I'm weights training the things that have pissed me off that week because it just I feel like it just goes. Like the pressure comes off of like I can finally breathe. And I do think, particularly as women, but especially as mothers, there's so much that happens during the day and during the week with scaffolding and nervous system regulation of little ones that you're like, I can't have my moment yet. I can't have my moment yet because I'm mentoring other ones through their big feelings. So having that time to yourself and being like that really annoyed me. And just being able to, I guess, let the pressure off or just move through those emotions yourself and work it out while doing your workout is such an important nervous system regulation technique.

SPEAKER_03 9:25

And I think it's important for women to know as well, like strength training, you know, heavy resistance training, yes, is super, super important. Three times a week should not be optional. Go heavy, lift as heavy as you can should be your goal. But body weights, but using your own body weight is also strength training. So I'm very kind of aware of how um there's a bit of pressure out there for women to like if you don't do weight training, if you don't do strength training, you're gonna die. Like that's how sometimes it feels like. I feel like I saw a reel the other day of being like, I feel more peer pressured to do strength training and eat protein than I did to take drugs when I was a teenager.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

Teenager, totally add creatine to that too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:10

A hundred percent. But um, you know, it doesn't mean that that's the only thing that you should be doing. Make sure that you are doing the things that make you feel good. Like one of my favorite ways to move is boxing and Pilates. Um, but having my Pilates foundation and my um strength training, they marry so well together. My boxing, like it just everything comes together. It's just that strength training for women has to be a non-negotiable.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Yeah, it's like flossing your teeth, right? Even if you don't love it, it's just something that you have to get in the street.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

And you don't do so like squats, deadlifts, chest press, push-ups, you know, shoulder press, like they're not complicated moves. You don't have to go and become a choreographed dancer to become start weight training, you just have to learn how to squat.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

Yeah, I think that's such an important one. And I guess for women, where do they start? Like if somebody's been out of the game or they've never done resistance training, where would you say is a good place for them to start?

SPEAKER_03 11:11

I mean, the hardest part of getting started is literally just that is just starting. So if you're somebody that is feeling intimidated by it, there's amazing at-home programs that you can you can find and you can just start at home with three kilo dumbbells. Like you don't have to reach for the tens and twenties. Like, start with what you can, build your confidence up. Make sure that you are starting lighter and you're getting your form. I'm very much about like go heavy, but do not compromise your form. If you're somebody who has a little bit more means, I highly recommend getting a personal trainer for six weeks, just to like build your confidence up and have somebody guide you into a program that you can then follow on afterwards. If you're someone who hasn't moved at all, just find something that you love for a little bit. Just find something that you love. I can absolutely say, go to the gym, do it at home. But if you're not going to love, if you're not someone that like naturally just like gravitates towards exercise, find something that you are going to enjoy because that will build your confidence to know that you can then venture into the next phase, which should be strength and heavy resistance training.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

I think that's such an important point to make because as you said, the noise around resistance training and strength training is so loud that sometimes women are doing it at the expense of doing the movement that they love. Like your Pilates girlies and your yoga girlies that really love that. They're like, oh, I can't do that anymore. I have to do my strength or resistance training. But it's not that you have to drop one or just do like still do the movement that you love, but make sure that you also add in some strength training.

SPEAKER_03 12:58

Yeah, I think people forget that strength training is can be done at home where you can end up, you know, jumping on Facebook Marketplace, collecting heavier weights as you go and just add it into your routine that you already have. You know, I've got um, you know, we've got like 20 kilo uh kettlebells here, and it's just if I don't have time to get to the gym, I don't make it there, I can just go and do 15 minutes where I'm doing three exercises, 10 reps at the heaviest three times round. Bang, strength training done. We overcomplicate everything. Strength training is probably the easiest thing to modify um at home.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

Do yourself. And so my next question would be around for women who are feeling quite disconnected from their bodies, particularly after potentially a big life event like a birth or a pregnancy, how can strength training become a way to rebuild trust? Because I feel like a lot of training is about regaining control over your body and looking a certain way and that aesthetics picture. But I know that strength training can really help bridge rebuilding trust within your body and how to move forward with it.

SPEAKER_03 14:06

Oh, a hundred percent. Like I feel like when women just start feeling strong in particular, and I've noticed that I've got a seven-month-old, and yes, training has been a big part of my life, but you know, once you start to build that strength, you start building a body that you feel confident within, and then you know that that can carry you through your days. You feel different when you're moving with your kids, when you're carrying the groceries up. I'm walking a little bit like taller now, I'm feeling a lot stronger. And it's just carrying me through life physically and emotionally. Um, I think for women, if you do have had pregnancy, birth, um, miscarriages, if you're struggling with other hormonal shifts in your life, like menopause, go and speak to a professional just to kind of find where you're at. So if you've just had a baby, go and see a women's physio. Get the clearance, see where your body is physically at. I think to feel safe is the number one thing that a woman loves to feel before we move on to the next stage. Like I said, just start, sure, but just start could mean booking in an appointment with a naturopath. If you're feeling like your energy's really low and getting your blood tests done and seeing like where you're depleted, it's very easy for me to say, just walk into a gym and get started. But you know, someone might be breastfeeding all night, depleted in so many levels in their body. They mightn't be physically ready to be lifting heavier weights. It mightn't feel right. Maybe they don't even know what that feels like in their body. There might be women just feeling like they're completely swimming out in the ocean dealing with menopause and changes in their life. And um, I think it's just really important to kind of find your network of your naturopaths, your nutritionists. Um, you know, if that's not feasible for you, there's plenty of information out there, but start somewhere that will make you feel safe. For me, it was joining a gym. And I can't believe that well, it's like a studio gym. But for me, after having my baby, I had to join somewhere to feel like I could receive a workout rather than add it into my already wild life.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

Such a beautiful way of putting it though. Like it was somewhere where you were going, where you were receiving a workout rather than doing the mental gymnastics of like working out how you could shove it in at home between kids and feeds and dinner and school and activities.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

So we're living up on the Gold Coast and we've got a house that's being rented, and then we're renting a house. So our expenses at the moment are a little bit stupid. And uh when I told Brett about the place I wanted to join, he was like, Do you really think we should be spending um 60 bucks a week? And I was like, Oh, this wasn't a question. And he was like, I was just saying, like, could our could like you find somewhere else, or you know, you've got all the equipment at home, train at home. I was like, Oh no, babe, like this wasn't a question, it was a statement, like it's kind of not up for discussion. This is what I need to feel good. And if I feel good, everyone fucking feels good.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Good.

SPEAKER_03 17:27

And it is, it's learning to figure out what it is you need in your season, in your body, in your life that makes you feel safe.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

I love that safety first and moving forward with what is your next indicated step. And for some people that might be going out and finding a gym that suits them, and for other people it's starting to build their healthcare team of how they can support them in the season that they're in. Yeah, absolutely. What is one belief about motherhood and strength training that you would like to dismantle?

SPEAKER_03 18:02

Motherhood and strength training.

SPEAKER_02 18:06

I would like to dismantle that just because this is a really good question. Let me articulate this.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

Only because the reason I ask it is I feel like sometimes women in particular get stuck in when I'm finished breastfeeding. Okay. When the baby's two, or when they've started school, or when I've got the new house. You know, it's that future, like when all of my ducks are in a row.

SPEAKER_03 18:34

Yeah, your ducks are never gonna be in a row, right? I think that it's just that is just like waiting to be out of a season before you start one. And I also think there's just like when a woman is pregnant and has a baby, you do feel for some quite vulnerable. And that you do feel quite in, but also in like a very empowering way in your feminine as well. And strength training is very much tied to the masculine. Again, you don't have to look a certain way to start strength training. And I think that is super important. Like, it's hard for me because my algorithm at the moment is actually the complete opposite. It's like women coming into their embodied self after having babies. And it's like, I've really worked hard on this algorithm.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

I get we needed to do step list of how to get it.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

Um, there is absolutely no need to wait to step into strength training just because you've had the baby, just because you've got kids, just because you've got all of these things going on. There's no time like now to look after yourself.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

I think that's such a powerful belief in terms of there's no time like now, don't wait for the ducks to be in a row, just start, do something for yourself. Because often I think it's that unspoken narrative that quietly shapes how women show up in their own lives because we believe our worth is tied so much to what we give and what we do for our children, and then of course, prioritizing our feels feels incredibly uncomfortable off the back of that. And so, what's really underneath that struggle, do you think?

SPEAKER_03 20:23

I think it's just conditioned, you know. So many of us have seen our mums, like my mum's quite an active person, but like I don't think many of us saw our mums in our parents' generation really prioritize themselves in a way that we are, and making sure that, you know, that we're getting all kind of the the wheel of life coming towards us with like prioritizing our nutrition, creating our medical, like our network of health practitioners, prioritizing me time. Like my mum was like, what is this me time we're talking about? And I think it's a great movement that we're like making this shift for us, but yeah, we're not, we're conditioned in a way that like once we have kids, that is our purpose. And, you know, making sure that everybody is fed and the house is orderly, and it's like this is very generalized, and I know it looks different for everyone. It doesn't look like that exactly in in my house, but um, it is how we have been, you know, taught and and made to believe that we don't matter as much as everybody else in the household. Whereas imagine how much more the household would thrive if mum was thriving.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

Yeah, it's so important. And it's such a true statement. I when I knew there's all these quotes and saying that always get thrown up, but you don't really realize how true they are in terms of you can't pour from an empty cup, like we've heard that at nauseum, right? Yeah. But really living it is different to just get thrown. It out and having pretty words. But from your experience, like working with women, what do you think is the biggest barrier to mums prioritizing themselves? Themselves. We're the problem.

SPEAKER_03 22:18

I think that we don't recognize the season that we're in either. I don't think women really give themselves time to recognize which season of life they're in. So you're kind of putting expectations on going back to old you before recognizing where you're at. And that takes a lot, a lot of time just to like sit with yourself and get honest with where you are at right now and that it's not permanent and it will change. For me, I work with women who, you know, are really going through it. Their whole life has shifted since having kids and they haven't recognized the identity shift that happens, going from just Cassie or just Beck into okay, now I have this whole new role and it's going to look so different. And you're dealing with the kind of mum you want to be as well, but also missing so much of like yourself before having kids. I think until you really recognize where you're at in your life and what that looks like with family dynamics. Prior to me having children, Brett and I were both morning people. Wake up, he would like train, go to work, I would go to work and train or train go to work. Like we're both out the door at 6 a.m. And then, you know, we didn't even speak all day. Didn't I didn't care what time he was coming home? And then now that we have kids, I have like this barrier. He's a builder, so he like can't work from home. And I've had to shift what my reality looks like. And it keeps evolving with Hunter when we just got started. It was very restricted. Then I started to get more freedom. It was four and a half years before I had Jack. And then now I'm restricted again because he's breastfeeding. Like those pockets of freedom came back. And it's just really recognizing where you're at in your life at that time and working with it and understanding what it is you need because you can't have all the things that you want all at once. They will come in dribs and drabs. For me, the first thing I needed to prioritize was my workout routine because I'm an absolute psychopath without it. For Brett, his is filling his cup up socially. I work with women all the time. I'm talking to people all the time. I don't need my social cup any fuller than it already is. Yeah, but for me, then it's like just having an hour a couple of times a week to just like go and see my horse in the paddock. It's just kind of getting real with yourself and setting expectations of where you're at in your present time and not trying to set goals to life prior to the season you're in now.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

I think that's such an important belief to recognize because as you say, a lot of women don't understand or they don't expect. I think it's that expectation of having such a value shift or a value realignment once you've had children. I know it wasn't even on my radar. And so of course, holding on to an old identity is always going to hurt. You can't evolve and stay the same. And so when your priorities shift, and for me, having babies, like that did become quite a high priority in my hierarchy. It was such a whirlwind of like, okay, how does this actually work? And how do I prioritize all of the things that used to be important to me? And how does this then fit in? But I definitely think suffering begins when you're comparing your present self to a past version and you've decided that you've fallen short.

SPEAKER_03 25:52

Yeah. And also comparing yourself to others that might be doing what you want to do, but you're not doing it. But unless you're living inside of those walls, you don't know how people are doing it. Like, you know, there's so many things that I've wanted to do, but at the same time, I haven't wanted to have my babies in full-time care. So I have sacrificed a lot of personal like goals that I had because this was important to me too. So I've shifted how I've worked. I've been very lucky to have a supporting partner that has, you know, helped me and given me the space to be that, be that mum in that time. But it's meant things have moved slower for me in certain areas in my life. And that's been okay for me. But it's also been a constant conversation because when I catch myself, you know, being like, I wish I was doing that, or how are they doing that? It's, you know, going on inside the walls. You don't know how much help they've got, you don't know how much money they've got, you don't know, you know, what mental state, emotional state they're in. So it's just like always just meeting yourself where you are at and learning to communicate what it is you need.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

Yeah. And I think that is also tied in with what my next question was going to be around do you think it's a time issue for some women or do you think it's something deeper? But you've you really said like recognizing where you're at and the season that you're at and prioritizing and where your values are sitting.

SPEAKER_03 27:20

I think it's an expectation thing. Um I think if coming back to yourself, whether it be exercise, whether it be work, whether you know, whatever it is you're looking for, if your expectation is quite extreme, pull it back. Pull it back a lot and set some goals that are achievable. Like, would I love to be training five days a week? Fuck yeah. Am I? No. But on the days that I can train, I am so excited. I do. I s crazily jump out of bed and I'm like, I get to go because I know that I don't get much of it like I used to. So rather than wishing and hoping I could get more and blaming the fact that I'm not where I'm at because I don't get five days a week to myself or like even with work, I don't have the help that I need or anything like that. I set my expectations and then I build from there.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Yeah. I love that. What about would you say, because I know we've talked a lot about babies and new mums and pregnancies, but what about for the mummers who are finding themselves in those trickier toddler, three to five-year-old age bracket? What's three ways of, I guess, unlocking movement and moving forward for them?

SPEAKER_03 28:40

Understanding they are the dictator.

SPEAKER_01 28:42

You are no longer the CEO of the household.

SPEAKER_03 28:44

You are no longer the CEO of the household to just be in it. Be in it. Like the more I I try and move through the toddler stage is gnarly, because it's so cute but so intense. Um, and I feel like I've just come out of that with Hunter. And I guess it is just to like be in it with them, you know. I feel like that when you are really feeling it, like, you know, you're in those days where you're just like, How the fuck am I getting to bedtime tonight? And when you just surrender and choose to surrender and be in it with them, it helps the both of you. I also think you really do just need to play and let go of all the things that you need to be done. And I really struggle with that. Like I like a tidy house, I like my bed made. But when Hunter wants to play shops or he wants to play dinosaurs or he wants to search for lizards, he's not gonna care in 20 years' time, you know, if his bed was made, if the floor was vacuumed, if the washing was done, his core memories and the foundation of our relationship will be built on those little moments. A third is just to not be so hard on yourself with parenting types and parenting tips and conscious parenting and gentle parenting and all these parenting styles. I feel like every decision that we make with our kids, we feel like we're gonna cause some kind of trauma or damage to them. And when everything is done from a place of love, even when you've like, you know, kind of lost your cool that day and said some things and done some things you're gonna regret when you're laying in bed at night and you're looking at them in peace, and you're like, I do love you. I really do. You're the best kid ever. It's just to not be so damn hard on yourself about your days with them, because it's hard. Yeah, it's really hard.

SPEAKER_01 30:53

It's tricky, isn't it, Jack?

SPEAKER_03 30:55

It's tricky. And I think just recognizing that like this this world that we live in, we're consuming too many opinions, we're um, you know, consuming too many, too much information, just doing everything from a place of love and just admitting not admitting, but just like accepting that you're not gonna do have a perfect day every day with your kids.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

It's that part. I think you get everyone's highlight reels on Instagram and and all of the social media parts and been like, oh, how come I didn't I lost my cool today or the days where you can't keep it all together? Yeah. And then you go and have a look at the highlight reel and you see that you're like you feel like everybody else is holding it together but you.

SPEAKER_03 31:38

Yeah, a hundred percent. And no one is like holding it together. We just don't have the cameras out when we're yelling at our children. Absolutely. We're just getting lost in their little worlds with them. But honestly, it's it's that is just taking that's a huge one for me, is just like don't be so hard on yourself. I think we're so hard on ourselves, and it's okay to be the parent and not the best friend all the time.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

Yeah. Yeah, we still have to hold the boundaries and move them in a particular direction and instill good values and all of that.

SPEAKER_03 32:13

And just join them in their world. But like it's my you know, I have so much fun when I just become part of Hunter's little world because I wish I viewed the world how he does.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Yeah, it's very special.

SPEAKER_03 32:29

Yeah, when I'm in it with him, I'm like, oh, what a magical world we live in.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

And I think that is actually something I wanted to talk about because I think it's something that you do so well in terms of your noticing. And I think that's where a lot of us need to begin. It's not with the big changes, it's just with the noticing and rebuilding yourself can be catching the tiny moments that remind you that you're still in there, which brings me to something that I love. You catch the glimmers so incredibly well, and it's a practice I see you do all of the time, and you rush off like you truly do. I don't think you have any idea how many people you would actually affect because when you see it and you show it on your Instagram, it makes me like I'm like, oh my god, I saw that too, I saw sparkly water today and I loved it, or I saw that beautiful sunset and it was magic.

SPEAKER_00 33:25

I know.

SPEAKER_03 33:26

I've always been a bit of a daydreamer, to be honest.

SPEAKER_01 33:29

It's a beautiful thing because on particularly when we're talking about social media, I guess we often talk hear about like what could be your triggers and how to do that. But I guess explaining what a glimmer is for some people that might not know and how you can catch it.

SPEAKER_03 33:43

Yeah, it's the just the little things in life. I um I've done quite a bit of like coaching with women. Um and question that I always ask someone is where do they feel most like themselves? And that's where I notice my glimmers. So for me, it's always outdoors. Actually, it's also in the kitchen. I love putting my music on and and get getting cooking. Um, but the glimmers are just all the little things that you notice in life that just bring that little smile to your face without it having to be a big grand gesture or needing the big holiday or the weekend away to actually feel like there's spark in your life. Um, yes, certain times of the day, the sun makes the water down at the beach glitter and sparkle. And I think that that is so amazing. And you'll always see me share a video of that, noticing like my dog's footprints in the sand. With Hunter, I notice so many more things, and I can see it rubbing off on him in the car. He's always like, This is a beautiful drive, and he'll, you know, notice different birds and notice that we've driven from the bush into like what he calls the forest. And the glimmers are just noticing your surroundings and lifting your head away from your phone and just taking them in. There are so many out there, and the glimmers look different for everyone, and that comes back to like what makes you feel it's you. My glimmers are also smells like the smell of leather. I love the smell of leather, it reminds me of a saddle ready, and then it would remind somebody else of something else. Yes. Do you know what I mean? It's just like hatching yourself in those moments where something just feels really attached to who you are.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

I think it comes back to, I do talk about this a little bit in clinic with some of my women in terms of ri when they are trying to re-ignite or refine their joy, and it's going back into that desire and comfort and what makes them feel like them. And oftentimes we have to go back to, you know, what did you enjoy in childhood? Like it because life has just taken such a road, they're like, What do you mean, joy? Did we have that? Like, what what is that? It's like, what did you enjoy? Like, did you like going for swimming? Did you like drawing? Were you great at dance? And did you like listening to music? What actually lit you up and gave you a moment? And so it's refining that and reinvigorating that in their lives.

SPEAKER_03 36:19

It's so true. And it can also be like conversations that, you know, since we've moved, the joy I get from having conversations with people that I have no attachment to, I don't know anything about, who have a completely different life experience than than I do from, you know, I've got a horse inland a little bit, and the owners there I just absolutely love. They're a little bit older. And the joy I get from just like standing in a paddock and talking to an old country guy is just I feel so grounded and in myself. And it's gotten and that has nothing to do with a hard workout. It's got nothing to do with eating, you know, protein, taking my creatine, my magnesium. It is connection.

SPEAKER_01 37:02

Yes. Human connection.

SPEAKER_03 37:05

Yeah, and that's a big part of who I am. So you sir. So yeah, it's finding those glimmers don't have to be nature or pretty things. They can be conversations, they can be recognizing yourself again in ways that you've missed.

SPEAKER_01 37:23

Yes. And do you think as women we can train ourselves to actually notice these moments when life feels quite chaotic?

SPEAKER_03 37:31

Absolutely. But first it's training yourself to prioritize yourself. Because unless you come up for air, you're not going to notice anything but the mess and the chaos and the circus that is around you. Um, and you can't even notice the joy inside of that unless you do come up for air, you know? Um, you can find glimmer in the chaos. And it can, I'm not saying all day, like at all.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

Pockets. It's the moment.

SPEAKER_03 38:04

The pockets, it's absolutely the pockets. But unless you do start to prioritize yourself and do come up for air, and that can be, you know, getting hubby to put the kids down to bed get down for bed instead of you, and just having like a bath or a shower and noticing the water running from the bloody tap in peace, or noticing what it feels like to be in the car without the kids. That's a huge one for me at the moment. So, like just driving to the gym, I'm really selective of what is playing. So it might be um, it's never a podcast because it's only like a 10-minute drive. It's just like these belters, these old school RB tunes. And is me coming up for air. It's recognizing that it doesn't have to once again be the big grand gesture. I actually hate that though. I hate that prioritizing yourself does feel like a big grand gesture for women. It doesn't for men, they just, you know, do their thing and get on with it. And I think we need to stop that. It is not a grand gesture to yourself, it is a necessity. But yeah, you can absolutely train yourself to prioritize yourself, and then you are going to notice those glimmers.

SPEAKER_01 39:18

I think something else that I've seen you do, and I guess it ties back into if these tiny moments can have such a big impact, how do we build a life that creates more of them? And if suffering comes from, I guess, staying who we used to be, then I believe the invitation becomes how do we intentionally build a life that's aligned with our values, that we actually enjoy, that fits who we are now. And it's something I've seen you do beautifully in terms of what you've chosen. And it's I don't think it's been a particularly easy ride. Like it might look easy from the outside in, but just how you've stepped back, I guess, from being a co-owner of Pilate, like you've made some really difficult life choices and decisions, but ultimately you're living a life that is so aligned and so authentic to you. Like it's been beautiful to watch from the outside looking in. Thanks, Cass. But how do you think women can start making decisions from value rather than obligation?

SPEAKER_03 40:18

It's getting real with what feels good for you. Um, had somebody the other day just like very honestly and upfront ask me if I actually regret knowing how big the company that I used to own, Peaches, Pilates, has gotten. Do I regret stepping down? And I absolutely don't. Like I'm best friends still with Tori, the founder. But I am very real with what I have to offer in my capacity, with where I'm at in life, what our family dynamic looks like with Brett being a builder, um, where we want to live, the lifestyle that I want to live, how much time I want to spend with my children. And I don't have what it takes to give what it takes to run a company of any sort. It would not feel true to who I am. I wouldn't do a good job at it because my heart wouldn't be in it. Sometimes it's what I think I want, but I know that it's not for now. And I guess it's just being really real with who you are and getting to know yourself. Like, what are the conversations that you love to have? What is the music you love to listen to? What are the clothes you love to wear? How do you love to move your body? What conversations do you like having? Really being aware of kind of every part of your life, every part of, you know, your day-to-day activities and how you want to show up. It's it hasn't been easy getting to where we are, but it also hasn't been the decisions haven't been hard, logistics have. Um I think that when the decisions don't feel hard, it doesn't mean that the journey getting there is going to be easy, but you do know that you are on the right, on the right track. And it's it's really just being confident in knowing who you are. And I 100% am my whole life has changed from the last I'd say seven years, you know. I've changed like my relationships socially, I've changed my relationship with my body, I've changed my relationship with my career, and I've really trusted myself and have had to let go of certain beliefs of certain people with no bad energy between anyone or anything. But I've had to leave a lot of things in another season and I'm at peace with that because I'm I'm not really searching for happiness or for this like enlightened euphoric life. I'm just in search of peace. And when something doesn't align with that, or it does send me a little bit like I can feel that it just doesn't sit right with my values, I shift, I pivot, and I change.

SPEAKER_01 43:13

Well, what role do you think that movement can play in reconnecting women with their joy and desire?

SPEAKER_03 43:19

Confidence, baby. My goodness. I'm in the fucking game of it and I'm in it myself. Literally, a week of movement makes you feel so much more confident within your own skin, which makes you feel so much more confident with just how you show up in every other aspect of your life. And full stop. I'm not even gonna go on a rant about it, but like I think out of anything, anyone, women especially, but anyone can do for themselves is to move their body. And you don't have to be on like some kind of program like get out of your head by going for a Walk, you know, it's it's you're never coming back in a worse state than when you left when you move your body in any way. Walk along the beach or dive under a wave, like you know, walk around the block, like whatever you can do, you've got to move your body.

SPEAKER_01 44:17

It's so true. So I see a PT once a week, Selena, and I have to be on my deathbed to not go to that session with like I will move mountains to make that happen because walking in, it doesn't matter what's happened that week or what speed humps have come my way. I walk out feeling so much more confident, so much more in my body, so much freer in terms of the emotions that have bubbled up that I've been able just to move through. There's nothing compared to that.

SPEAKER_03 44:49

I'm exactly the same. Like I have two mornings a week where my only option to get to my classes, I was telling you, is 5 a.m. I have a second month old who's teething and it feeds all through the night. But my God, I will not miss those two classes because they're my glimmers. And like it's my and it's just like it starts the night before. I get to like I pick my outfit that I'm gonna wear to the gym. Not that it's gonna be hard, but like it's just every act to get there is like an act towards myself. It's not, and I don't tell myself it's for the kids. Like I'm going for me.

SPEAKER_01 45:25

And yeah, like I go for me. Yeah, I'm going for me.

SPEAKER_03 45:28

Yes, I come back a better mum. Yes, being your mom's like awesome, it's great. I'll lift you groceries, like longevity, but like I am going because I feel really good.

SPEAKER_01 45:38

Yes. And all of those things, like you're a better mum and you've got greater capacity and more emotional regulation, those things are also true. They're all byproduct and they're a byproduct, yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:51

But also I just feel fucking good and my skin feels brighter. I also make better choices for myself in the day. Like I'll, you know, eat better. I'm more aware of how I'm fueling my body, I'm more aware of like where my energy's going. It's just nothing bad comes from moving your body. Like, honestly, for any woman out there who is just like looking to feel a little bit better, don't worry about the meal prepping. Like, go and just go for a walk. Like, just start by going for a walk, moving your body any which way, and everything else will follow.

SPEAKER_01 46:26

It does. It truly does. You just have to start and get in there. And whether it's two kilometers, five kilometers, ten kilometers, if you're wearing a weighted vest or ankle, like whatever it is, whatever you have capacity for, do that. If it's a 10-minute wait session at home, like do that. We get caught up in the I can't do the 40 minutes, so therefore it's not worth it. But like do 10 minutes add up, if you do 10 minutes every day for those five days a week, you've like that's so much better than having done nothing because you couldn't fit the full 40 minutes.

SPEAKER_03 46:56

It's also just really important to like, depending on, you know, what your network or your village or your, you know, life looks like, you know, I've done this with UCASC is like plan your week. Like, where can you be in that walk? You know, where is your time going and how can you how can you find it? Who do you need to communicate with to find those mo do you need to communicate with to make sure that you are able to have time to dedicate to yourself, not squeeze it in like when you dedicate two blocks a week to start with?

SPEAKER_01 47:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:34

And find it. I love it. It's there.

SPEAKER_01 47:37

So important. Okay, before we wrap up, my last question for you is if there is a woman listening right now and thinking, I don't even recognize myself anymore, what would you want her to know?

SPEAKER_03 47:48

I would want her to know that she's in there. She is buried deep inside of the mess. She's very deep inside of the chaos, but she is in there and she is waiting for you, and that's it. You know, she mightn't look the same, she mightn't feel the same, but finding yourself will take some time. Give yourself the grace and look for the glimmers.

SPEAKER_01 48:08

Look for the glimmers. Look for the glimmers. Do your movement and look for the glimmers.

SPEAKER_03 48:11

Do you movement and look for the glimmers?

SPEAKER_02 48:12

She's in there, she's just a little bit stuck at it. She'll come back to life.