18 : HYROX Houston Recap - We Missed Our Goal

In this episode, I'm recapping HYROX Houston. We missed our goal time, which is a hard pill to swallow. I went into this race feeling more prepared than I ever have, and looking back, that confidence caused me to not act as a team player. My partner got sick during the race, she ended up walking portions we had planned to run, and my two minutes of penalties didn't help matters. It wasn't the race we envisioned, but I'm laying it all out there. 

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Transcript

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We missed our goal. We went into High Rocks Houston with a goal of an hour, 10 minutes, or faster. And we knew that we were both capable of that. And we did not hit that. And I even said that if all the stars aligned, we could get 108 or faster. And we definitely didn't hit that. So as a prideful person, admittedly, it's been a very tough pill for me to swallow. Because I know the effort and preparation that I put into my training. And you've heard me say time and time again, it's not that deep. And in the grand scheme of life, it's not. A high rocks race is not that serious. But I knew what I was capable of. I still know what I'm capable of. And knowing that there was so much of that untapped on Friday, it just eats me alive. It eats me alive because when you set a goal and then you don't hit it, you think of all the time and energy that you put into that one race day. And when you think of it that way, it does feel heavy. It does feel like it is that deep. And if you've ever trained for a race and set a goal and then missed that goal, it's just really tough to process and accept. And I still have not accepted. I I don't think I have. I I almost like refuse to accept that we didn't hit our goal because it it was 100% attainable. But you cannot control race day conditions, you cannot control how you feel. Like to a large degree, yes, you can control how you feel on race day. But sometimes things just happen and it's life. And because it is a doubles race, you are a team. You either win as a team or you lose as a team. And so today I'm going to be talking through the race. And I'm also going to be talking through just like the 24, 30, 36 hours leading up to that, which was my travel to Houston. And we're just going to be sitting in a room across a table from each other, drinking a cup of coffee, drinking an energy drink, just diving into everything that went right and everything that went wrong. I have no outline for today's episode. I'm just sitting here in front of my mic, brain dumping with you. But let's dive in. I'm your host, Carly Kaikendal, and this is The Daily Penny, the podcast about building sickening consistency through everyday habits. Being occasionally great does not get you very far, but being consistently good is what moves the needle forward. Every time you follow through for a workout, a meal in motherhood, in your finances, in your business or in your life, you're putting another penny in the jar of the person you want to become. One penny doesn't feel like much, but those daily deposits compound over time. This show is about fitness, nutrition, motherhood, money, business, and the systems that actually hold your life together in seasons when motivation is gone. Whether you're building habits, rebuilding confidence, or just simply trying not to quit, you're in the right place. Let's add another penny in the jar. She said, as a podcast listener, I love when people are honest, and I want you to be 100% honest. So before I dive into everything, I'm going to read verbatim a text conversation that she and I had after the race. So this was my text to Madison. I said, I plan to record a podcast episode on our race. I would never speak in a way to bring someone down because truly you can't control stomach issues. I'm going to start by saying that you've done a 110 before and the penalties were my fault. That being said, I do plan to talk about how our approach to the stations had to change during the race because of how gassed you were on the runs, and that I did have to take on the large portion of the work. I just want to run this by you to let you know in advance. And once again, it's not going to be said in a way to bring you down. It's just the facts of you getting sick and us having to pivot, which impacted our time. So that was my text to her. Her text back to me, I appreciate you running it by me, and I truly would want you to be 100% honest. It's a competition, and as a listener of podcasts, I would want you to be 100% honest. I think it's how others can understand and know the sport. You pulled 99% of the weight of the team, and I truly just held on for dear life. I would be disappointed if you didn't give yourself the credit, and I mean that. And this was my text back to her. Well, I appreciate this message, and I promise it's not giving me credit, it's saying that we could have done better. You've done 110 before, and I've never gotten that time. And seeing you post that time made me so excited to race with you. And like I said, the stars just didn't align. But we are 100% capable of 110 or faster, and we both know that. And I appreciate you being willing to allow me to talk about it. That says so much about you. And if our and if our roles were reversed, it would be hard for me to swallow my pride and be okay with a race recap. But I'm with you. As a listener of podcasts, I like hearing behind the curtain. And then she sent me another sweet text after that, but I won't continue reading those. But I just wanted to give you some context around you cannot control everything. And I'm not talking through this podcast to put myself on a pedestal. I'm just simply saying that when you are in a race with you and another partner, or you and a team, like a relay race, or something along those lines, where you are depending on other people, you can only control your effort. And that is, it's just how everything shakes out, you know, like you can only control so much, and the rest of it is truly without outside of your control. So I'm going to talk through the race, like I said. Um, but before I do that, I'm gonna dive just a little bit into how I felt going into the race, and I think telling you how I felt going into the race is going to explain why this was such a hard pill for me to swallow. So when I went into my solo race in Boston back in September, I felt really good, but I mentioned to you that I did not properly fuel going into that race. So although I didn't feel like um I like hit a wall during the race or anything, I definitely didn't have just this incredible energy the entire race. Like I was pretty gassed by the end. And when I crossed the stage, you always, like when you've crossed the finish line, you always think like, oh, I definitely had more to give. Like, no matter how much energy you leave out there on the floor, like you still are like I had some left, no matter how hard you worked. And I felt that in Boston. I felt like I still had some left, but but not a whole lot left. And I think the fueling had a lot to do with that. And then with my race with my friend Cruzy in October, Cruzy will not take offense to this. Cruzy is very self-aware, and she is in, she is a fierce competitor. When I tell you fierce competitor, like I told you, Cruzy started running nine weeks prior, but she just has something in her that, oh my gosh. Like when I when I think back on that race, I'm still mind-blown as to how fierce of a competitor Cruzy was. Um, she just she just absolutely powered through. But I went into that race. Cruzy will not take offense to this, like I said, we're still best friends. But she, I didn't have really a ton of expectations for that race. Honestly, that race for me was like, let's go out here and have fun and freaking try our hardest. But I really didn't have huge expectations for that race because I knew that she had, you know, nine weeks of preparation under her belt, which is better than zero weeks of preparation. But I just, you know, didn't have a ton, like it was going to be super fun. I was doing it with a high school best friend and didn't have a ton of preparation. Or sorry, I didn't have a ton of expectations for that race. And so when we finished in 113.33, I was so happy with that. I was like, let's freaking go, Cruzy. Like she just she blew my mind with how well she performed on race day. And I felt good going into it, but I definitely, after that race, I definitely had more left in the tank for sure. And so I just knew going into this race, Madison was someone who's done multiple high rocks races. Um, she has done a race where she finished in an hour and 10 minutes with another partner, and I just knew my capabilities, you know. I I finished my solo race in, I think it was 116.13, I think that was my final time. So in my mind, I'm like, okay, if I finished the entire race by myself in 116-13, if I had a partner that was, you know, equal to my level of training and just every the preparation that I had put into it, my level of athleticism and things like that, like I can shave, I think, at least eight minutes off my time for sure, because you're splitting up the work 50-50, whereas I finished it in 116-13 all by myself. So like that's how I think of things in my mind is like, okay, if I'm able to do all this by myself, if I split up the work with an equivalent partner, we could fly, you know, we could absolutely fly. And then when I saw that Madison had done 110, I was like, okay, like that's why I knew we could do 110 or quicker. And that's also why I said, I really think we could do 108. Like I really know that we were capable of that. And Madison is capable of that. She even told me in her race with her partner where they got 110 that they both finished and they're like, you know, farmers carry, we just walked. We could have taken up the kettlebells and ran. You know, so they even saw a few ways they could have shaved some time off as well. But I knew that with a partner, you know, you're not exerting as much energy at the stations, and so you can go quicker on the runs because your legs are not as fatigued. Or in theory, that's that's what makes sense, right? So I say all of that to say going into this race, I did have expectations. Whereas my race with Cruzy, I didn't have as many as much of expectations, and she will not take that offensively. But I just didn't have as high of expectations. Cruzy had never done a high rox race, but you know, Madison had done multiple races. I had higher expectations because of the time that I saw that she posted, you know, like she's a competitor. And so we, I did have that in my mind. Like we can for sure do 110, and I really think we can do 108. That's why I said that on the podcast last week. So, but what I knew I was in control of is fueling going into the race. Because, like I said, in Boston, didn't fuel well, could have easily run out of gas by the time the race was over, and I probably did run compared to how I felt in Friday's race, I for sure ran way more out of gas in my solo race in Boston, and I think fueling had a lot to do with that. So, what I did is I the week before, like leading into this Houston race, I actually increased my calories a little bit. And so I was eating more calories, giving my body more fuel the week leading into the race. And then the day before the race was my travel day, and so I ate more that day as well. Ate a big dinner, but not as big of a dinner as I did in Boston, because remember that kind of came back and bit me in the butt. And if you haven't listened to that episode, definitely go back and listen to that one. But I had in Boston, I had a massive dinner, so massive that the next morning I wasn't hungry enough for breakfast, and that just cascaded into a ton of you know events to where I was actually hungry going into that race, which you never want to be hungry. Like, I mean, my stomach was growling. You never want that when you're going into a race. And so I was bending that off. I'm like, that is not gonna happen again. So I ate a bigger dinner that night before the race, so Thursday night, and then um, and I documented my full day of eating um on an Instagram post on my travel day to Houston. So Thursday night had a larger dinner, also had a dessert that was amazing. So I had like some chicken pesto pasta, and then I had a piece of cheesecake, which was incredible. And so I woke up, um, I set an alarm for Friday morning. I think I woke up at like six, and I immediately went and grabbed breakfast at a nearby place, and so I got some eggs, some multi-grain toast, some bacon, and then some roasted potatoes. Something that, you know, I it's it's not abnormal for me. Yes, it was a meal out, but it wasn't anything abnormal. So I went and grabbed that. And while I was out at breakfast, I was like, you know what? Let me just go ahead and grab something else that I can have for my lunch so that I'm not having to get out and go grab food again. So at that same restaurant, I got a bowl of oatmeal, and it came with some dried cranberries, some bananas in there, and so I saved that to kind of have as like a lunch. And then I also got a bagel. So, you know, I'm kind of like in the morning, I got a little bit of protein in, but you know, closer to race, I'm just really focused on more of carb sources. And so I got oatmeal and then I also got a bagel with just a little bit of cream cheese that I could have when I actually got to the venue. So I had my breakfast at like I would say 6:30. And then I had the oatmeal a little bit later on. I think I had the oatmeal three hours prior. So that would have been nine, no, sorry, 11, 12 and 2. Yeah, so then I had the oatmeal around 11 when I was getting ready for the race. And then I got to the venue a little bit after 12. You can't check in until 90 minutes prior. So we technically couldn't check in until 12:40, but we got there a little bit after 12, kind of just walked around a little bit. And I, like I said, I brought that bagel with me to have prior to the race. Another thing I haven't mentioned yet is water intake. So right when I got up that morning, I drank 20 ounces of water before I had my coffee, and then I made sure to finish another 20 ounces before I went to the venue. So I already had 40 ounces of water going into the venue, and then I think I had like 10 ounces of water leading up to that race. So I had like 50, 50, almost close to 60 ounces of water going into that race. Also, 45 minutes prior to the race, Madison and I are kind of just like walking around before we head into the athlete warmup area, and we're just visiting each station. We're kind of walking the course. We're talking about our strategy, which I will get into our strategy here in a second. And so we're talking through all that, and I'm having my bagel. I don't put a ton of cream cheese on the bagel. I don't want to have like a ton of fats that are kind of sitting heavy on my stomach. And it's, you know, I didn't want my body to focus so much on digesting those fats instead of giving energy towards the workout that I was about to do. That's why I was more focused on carbs because those are quicker sources of energy that your body can immediately use. And so I didn't use a lot of cream cheese. I just had my bagel with like a little bit of cream cheese on it for taste, and so that it wasn't so dry. So I ate that 45 minutes prior to the race. I started it like 60 minutes prior and then I finished it 45 minutes prior to the race as we were just walking around the venue. So we're just kind of talking through what our strategy is going to be. And then um, but the thing is is that you get in race day jitters, right? And so I not only had 50 or 60 ounces of water at that point, but I had also had, I think, two cups of coffee. And so I kid you not, from the moment I got to the venue until so I got there like a little bit after 12, until the moment that we walked into the athlete warm-up area. This is not an exaggeration, I peed at least five times, maybe six times. It was obviously just like race day nerves, but also the fact that I was like, okay, I'm very well hydrated. This is a good sign. And so I just I just felt really good. So I also was telling Madison, I even told her multiple times. I was like, I just feel so good today. I feel so well fueled, but I didn't feel bloated. You know, it's kind of an interesting line that that you walk between being well fueled and almost feeling too stuffed, but I felt properly fueled. I felt lean, but I wasn't, I didn't feel hungry. My my knees did not hurt. Sometimes I have joint pain, my knees did not hurt. I've had hip pain for years that I've been remedying. I had zero hip pain. I just felt light on my feet. And those days that you feel lean, light on your feet, ready to race, they're not as common as days where you kind of feel like a little bit slightly, at least for me, they're not. And I take really good care of my body. So to know that I was feeling like light on my feet, springy, poppy, I was feeling lean. I was, and I kept saying it over and over to her. I'm like, I feel amazing. Like I feel better going into this race than I have any of my other Hyrux races. I just kept saying that over and over. And I was, I would ask Madison, like after I would say that, I would ask her how she was feeling. And she said she was feeling good, but um, she like didn't go into a lot of detail uh about how she was feeling. And so I don't know if she was already feeling kind of icky or if it was kind of the nerves getting to her when it comes to kind of like a little bit of a lack of response, but she said, like, yeah, I feel good. And so I think we were mostly just focused on like what our strategy is going into the race. So I'm just gonna kind of recap that strategy again before I head into the actual race itself. So our strategy was um we were both like we felt like we were strong runners, and so we felt like we could, you know, kind of keep a good pace there. So we didn't necessarily have like, okay, you lead, I'll follow, or vice versa. We were just like, you know, let's just keep up a good pace. But for the ski erg, we planned to swap out every 250 meters, and she felt like the ski erg was one of her stronger stations, and so she started that her the plan was for her to start that station. So she would do 250, and then I would do 250, she would do 250, I would do 250, and that would get us to the 1,000 meters. And then for sled push, our goal was to push half a distance each. So if like you're looking at the lane at the race, we would push halfway down, swap out, let the other one push until you get to the very end, and then you come back and you do that down and back twice. So the goal was to split that up 50-50. Same with sled pull. We didn't necessarily have a strategy of okay, let's do half a pull and then swap. But then when we got to the venue, we were like, okay, that sounds good. Like, let's just do half a pull each and then swap. So she was gonna start sled the sorry, she was gonna start the ski erg station. I was going to start both of the sled stations. So I was gonna be the first one to go on sled push and sled pull. So that gets us through the first three stations, and then station four is burpees. She felt like burpees were one of her stronger stations, so she was gonna start that station, and we were just gonna kind of tell each other, like, I have three more or I have five more. And then once that person finished those reps, we were gonna swap. Station five is row machine, so she felt like that was one of her stronger stations as well. So she was gonna start that station, and then we were gonna each do 250 meters two different times, so we were gonna swap out, and then station six is farmer's carry. We were just gonna split that up 50-50. I told her I didn't mean or I didn't mind being the first one to go there, and then she could finish that out. We could swap halfway. Station seven is lunges, so we planned on just kind of going until we needed a swap, but I told her, I was like, lunges are my strongest station. It's been my fastest ranking station in almost every high rocks race I've done. And so I told her, I was like, if you need me to, I can take on the large majority of that station. I don't mind. I feel really confident doing that. Plus, when it comes to To like swapping the sandbag back and forth, it can be a little bit clunky. And I just felt like we would have lost time if we were trying to split that up any more than one person taking on the large bulk of the work. And so that's why I told her I can do as much of that or you know as you need me to. And then the last station wall balls, you're just in survival mode there. But she did tell me about someone that she saw who said, like, if each person does 16 reps and then swaps, and then you do 15 reps each and then 14, 12, 11, 10. So you do like kind of that countdown. If you do that back and forth, then you it's like almost evenly split between 100 reps. So we just kind of had that as an option. Like, okay, if we need to swap that many times, we can, but we didn't necessarily have a strategy going into wall balls, but we said, you know, if we need to just cut the reps down like that, we can we can do that. So that was our strategy going into the race. So now we're going to transition into us going into the warm-up area and then actually diving into the race itself. You're allowed to enter the warm-up area 30 minutes prior to your race start time, but you also enter the Red Bull start tunnel 10 minutes before your start time. So really you only have 20 minutes in the warmup area, and that includes any last-minute bathroom breaks, which you can imagine everyone has race day jitters, and so the bathroom line is super long. So, really, the time in the warm-up station is or the warm-up area is not that long in the grand scheme of things. And I do very little station work when I'm in there. I'm mostly doing dynamic stretching, kind of just like talking through things with my partner, practicing a transition handoff if we need to. But the more races I've done, it just benefits me more to just do some dynamic stretching and get ready for the run portion because as I've mentioned a million times, Hyrux is more running than anything. And so I just wanted to get more prepared for the runs and I knew how all the stations kind of felt. So I wasn't worried about touching the equipment or anything like that. So we go into the warmup area, our race time, our start time is 210. And so we head in there at 140. I start doing some dynamic stretching, and then I, of course, have to go to the bathroom. I went to the bathroom twice in 20 minutes. I was just, I just had to pee so much because I was well hydrated, which was a good thing. But it was also just some nerves. And then Madison kind of just like did her own thing, and then we practiced the transition for the sandbag lunges. And so we came up with a strategy there. And then before we know it, it's time to enter the Red Bull start tunnel. And like I said, I felt really good about our one kilometer paces. And so I wanted to get, you want to get to the front of the line because you don't want to get, you know, behind everyone to where you're having to weave in and out of people and you're trying to pass people. And so I was like, let's just get to the start of the line so that we're not having to fight through the crowd to kind of, you know, get our get our pace going. So we did that. We got in the very front, and then it's time for the race to start. No matter how many times you tell someone, don't start out too hot, don't start out too hot. Pretty much everybody does. It's really hard to pace yourself, especially on that first one kilometer run, because you see people who have never done a high rocks race before and they take off in a dead sprint, and you're like, girl, you have no idea what's coming for you. But at the same time, it makes you think like, oh my gosh, like I'm already behind. And so it's really pacing that first one kilometer is very hard. But so the timer comes goes down and we're off to the races. So we start out of the tunnel, and I'm just gonna be 100% transparent. The pace that we started out at, I was like, okay, wow, um, sure, I can I can keep up this pace, but man, we're gonna be flying. And I and I knew I was like, this is this is steep, you know, this is this feels faster than what I normally do. But if we're able to split these stations up 50-50, like I can do it, you know, like I can power through, I can keep this pace for most of our runs if this is the pace that we're going. So I was just, I was kind of just letting it happen. And then we get to the ski erg. And like I said, Madison is the first one to lead the the ski erg. So she does her 250 meters, I do my 250 meters, she does her next 250, and then I do my next 250, and we're off. So on our next one kilometer run, I can already tell she's starting to kind of lag. Because whenever you're running, you can run side by side with your partner, but it's easier to run one in front of the other so that it's easier to pass people. And so I'm running, and based on our first one kilometer, I'm just assuming that she's keeping up with me. And so you kind of look back over your left shoulder just to make sure your partner is staying with you. So I looked back over my shoulder and I was like, oh, she's she's kind of far behind. Um, but I'm thinking she's she's gonna catch up to me, right? This is only our second one kilometer run. And so then I look back again and I don't see her. And so then I have to slow down and we're only on our second one kilometer run. And immediately I kind of start panicking because I'm like, this is not a good sign. Like if we are already slowing down in our second one kilometer run, and it wasn't just slowing down, like it was it felt like a significant pace decrease. Now I haven't actually, I don't even want to look at our splits. Like I hate to say that. I haven't even looked at our station splits yet, but it just felt so much slower, significantly slower. And so I have I have to slow down and I have to wait on her. And so then she catches up to me and we get to sled push. And I had already, you know, told you that I had planned on leading that station, and our goal was to push half a distance each. Well, based on that second one kilometer run, I knew she was already starting to dwindle a little bit. And I had not talked to her, I had not said, like, are you good? Like, what's going on? I didn't ask anything. I just knew that I had I had accepted at that point I'm about to be doing a large portion of this work because I think something's going on. Like, I don't know what it is, something's going on with her. And so on the sled push, I pushed the entire distance by myself, that very first uh lane push. And then after I finished that entire lane push myself, I gave it over to her, and she was able to do half a lane push, and then I had to finish the other half, and then she did another half lane push, and then that was all that she did. And so then I finished it up. So, in total, on the sled push, I did three down and backs, and she was able to do one push. And so I knew I was like, she's not feeling herself this race. So we finished the sled push, and then we're on our third one kilometer run. And once again, it just felt very slow, and I'm one and I'm comparing it to our first one kilometer run, which is probably not what I should do, but I just knew the pace that we were at, it was slower than what we were both capable of. I mean, I was, I felt like I could fly. And so on that third one kilometer run, once again, I'm looking back over my left shoulder, and she's nowhere to be found. And so I like pulled off all the way to the far right side of the lane, and I have to stop. I have to come to a complete standstill, and I'm looking for her, and I'm looking for her, and then I see her walking, and I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What is going on? Why, like, are you okay? Like, why are we walking? This is only our third one kilometer run, and we have eight total one-kilometer runs, and so I see her walking, and this is where I honestly should have been a more of a team player. And looking back, there were so many parts of this race that showed me to be a truly selfish person because I I knew what I was capable of, I knew what she was capable of, and I just felt like it was already slipping through our fingers, and we had not even gotten to our third station yet. And so I had run so far ahead, I had to come to a dead stop. And then I saw her walking, and I'm like, oh my gosh. And so then she started running again, and she caught up to me, you know, we're in the far right lane at this point. And so then I'm thinking, okay, she just like needed to get a breather. I'm still like in denial that we're not gonna hit our goal time, even though there's no way. Like, if you, if you're gonna, if you walk in a high rocks race, don't expect to get one tenner quicker. And I knew that. So I I just felt like it was slipping through my fingers, though. So I start running again and I look behind my shoulder and she's not there. And so then I have to pull off, and like honestly, I don't remember how many times I pulled off during the race, but it was a lot because, like I said, my legs, I just felt like I could absolutely fly. And so there was just something going on with her. And so then I think it was this run, like when she was walking once again. We're still going into sled poles. So we're on our third run. And then finally, I was like, Are you good? What's going on? And she was, I think she just said something along the lines of like, I don't feel good, like it my my stomach, something's going on. And I'm not exaggerating. That is basically the only words that we exchanged for the rest of the race, other than when we needed to switch off for a station exercise or something like that. And so we go into sled poles, and once again, I just had accepted that I was going to be taking on the large bulk of the work. And so just like with sled push, I did three of the down, or I did three of the lanes, and then she did one. The goal going into it was to split it 50-50. So we ended up splitting it 75-25. So then we're going into our next run. And it just, I haven't actually looked at the numbers, like I said, but it just felt like every run got slower than the last. And so now we're heading into burpees. And this was a station that she was planning on leading, but once again, I just knew she's she's not gonna be ready for this. She needs to let her heart rate recover. I don't, you know, she mentioned like her stomach was upset. She, the last thing you want to do with an upset stomach is burpees. And so we get to the burpee station. And once again, I don't remember how many times, like I had to keep slowing down. So I like I would run off to the right side, and then I would wait, and then I would run back in whenever she would catch up. And you're supposed to stay an arm distance away from your partner. I even mentioned that in the HyROX episode that I launched last week, where I talked through all the rules and requirements of the Hyrux race. You're supposed to stay within arm's distance, but for judges to be able to really monitor that, especially when you're on your one kilometer, it's like a very hard thing for them to be able to monitor. But I didn't follow those rules. And that's our rule of HIROX is to stay within arm's distance of your partner. And once again, this is where I like my selfishness was exposed because I'm getting like mad at this point. And she cannot help that. Like, if I don't know what her fueling looked like, I don't know what her dehydration looked like going into the race, but it doesn't matter because sometimes you truly cannot help. I shouldn't say it doesn't matter, it it definitely would have impacted. And I don't know what that looked like for her. And in the grand scheme of things, it's all over and done with. And so it doesn't matter. But whatever it was, she had stomach issues, and I should have been more of a team player because this is a doubles race, this is not a singles race, and I was trying to treat it as a singles race because I knew what I was capable of. And once again, that's my pride getting in the way. Like I'm exposing myself by talking through all of this because I was not a team player like I should have been, because I just started getting mad. I knew what we were capable of, and so I'm kind of talking in circles at this point, but after the sled pull, we're going into the burpees, and she was supposed to lead that station, and I knew that she wasn't going to be ready to lead it. So I ran so far ahead and I lost her, and I just ran up to the burpees station and waited. I was standing still. I don't know how long I was standing there waiting on her. I don't know. And then once she got there, I started the burpees and I did like the full first distance of the burpees all on my own. And then we swapped out at the halfway mark, and she made it probably 30% down the lane, and then I finished out the rest of the burpees. Um, but once again, like you could just tell something was off with her, and I just knew that I was almost gonna have to treat this race as like a solo race with her tapping in when she could or when when I when I needed a little bit of help, which looking back, I have done this race all by myself. So in reality, I could have done 100% of the work at all of the stations and just asked her to keep up with me on the runs. And looking back, maybe that's what I should have done. You know, maybe I should have just sucked it up, manned up, and just done all of the work at the stations, and then just asked her to join me on the runs so that we could finish together. But anyway, so after the burpees, we're now on our fifth one kilometer and we're heading into the row machine. This was another station that she was going to lead, but I knew that she, her stomach was not in a place for her to lead. So I started the rower, and the goal or the plan going into it was for each to do 250 and then swap. So we would do that two different times. And I knew that she couldn't do that, and so I rode an initial 400 meters, and then we swapped, and I told her, I said, just get to 700 meters. So she rode from four to 700, and then I finished out the last 300. So I did 700 meters total. She did 300 meters total, and then we took off on our next run. And then we get to, let's see, what's after the row machine? Farmers carry. So this is also where I ran off and did not realize how far behind me she was. And so I got to, and and looking back, I should have stayed on the one kilometer loop. If I was going to run ahead, I should not have entered the end zone where the rock zone is. Like I should have not have run through the end tunnel and been in the rock zone because that's where the majority of the judges are, and that's where penalties are placed. But I ran ahead, I ran up to the farmer's carry and I put chalk on my hands, and I'm standing there waiting. And I literally wait there almost an entire minute before she catches up to me. And looking back, that's where one of our penalties was placed. Because I know for a fact, like we got two minutes of penalties, and I know for a fact a judge saw how long I was standing there waiting on my partner, and you're not supposed to do that. You're supposed to stay within arm's distance of your partner at all times. And I didn't do that because I was trying to control the race. I thought I was above the rules, and you're not, you're not above the rules. And if you're gonna join a doubles race, you need to be be an actual good doubles partner. And I was a selfish partner and I ran ahead. And I'll be totally honest: like when I went into farmer's carries, I had so much energy, and keep in mind we only have two stations left. And I was like, I we can fly through these stations. And so I waited for her to get there, and as soon as I saw her within five feet of me, I picked up those kettlebells and I just took off. So I ran my half of the distance and then I swapped with her. The goal going into it was to run with the kettlebells, and she was sick, y'all. I mean, what are you gonna do when you're sick? You know, like I should have just done 100% of the farmer's carry station too, but she was sick, and so she picked up the kettlebells, and I could just tell how weak she felt. And so I just said, make it just this one distance. And so she walked half of the distance, and then I picked it up and ran the other half of um her her length, and so that was split up 7525. And so then we're going into our last two kilometers. So this is um the one kilometer run before lunges. And once again, I ran ahead, and I think this is where our second penalty was placed. And so I ran ahead and I got to the sandbag lunge, and I guess a judge saw me there waiting for a while and placed another minute penalty on us. And this is why I told you like the two minutes of penalties that we got were because of me. And I think that has to be it because I was waiting the longest at farmers carry and I was waiting the longest at sandbag lunges. And I had already told her in advance that I could do the large majority of that station. That was my strongest station. And so I started out on the lunges, did the entire distance there, swapped with her at the halfway mark. I think she probably did like 20 lunges, and then we swapped again, and then I finished out the rest of the lunges for that distance, dropped the sandbag, and now we're on our last one kilometer run. And I looked at her when we started that one kilometer run, and I said, This is our final run. I need you to stay with me. And I thought that it was an agreement, and it wasn't, and I obviously did not realize like how sick she was. And this is why, once again, I feel like I was super selfish, and that is hard to admit, and I'm a prideful person, and that's also hard to admit, but I took off because keep in mind, like I have had times where I have been standing still waiting, I have been able to let my heart rate recover. I have been able to let my body recover. I was flying like every single one kilometer run that we did, I felt like my legs were moving faster than the rest of my body because I just felt so primed for this race. It was unbelievable. I've never felt more primed for a competition in my life than I felt going into this race. And so that last one kilometer, I said, I literally looked her in the eye as we were starting, and I'm like, stay with me. This is our last run. And I took off and I was looking behind my shoulder every few seconds, and I could just see that distance between us growing and growing. And I finally looked at her and I was like, come on, you got this, you got this, come on. And it did not matter how much I was trying to force it. She was sick, and there was nothing I could do about it at that point. And I looked at my watch and I looked at the elapsed time, and I knew we are not hitting that goal of 110. And if we even beat my previous time with my partner Cruzy back in October, our time was 113.33. I was like, if we even come to that, like I will be surprised if we're even even able to break even with my previous time. So we go into the wall ball station. Once again, we didn't necessarily have a for sure strategy going in, but I just took the wall ball and I'm just like, let's go. And so I did the first 50 wall balls unbroken, passed it off to her, she did 25, she passed it back off to me. I did the last 25. So I did 75, she did 25. We run across the finish line and it says 113. And that ate it it ate me alive. If we had finished in 113. But um, if we had finished in 113 32, it still would have eaten me alive, but Maybe not as much because I'm like, you know what? I have still finished this race in a faster time than I did previously as a doubles team. But we didn't. We finished in 113.37. And then after you cross the finish line and you see that time, they automatically uh add your penalties on. So then we saw one minute of the penalties added on, and you can see it even says like penalty, one minute. And so then it increased our time to 114.37. And then after we walked off the stage, there's like an app you can look at to see all of your stats. And that said 115.37, two minutes of penalties. And I was like, I know exactly where we got those penalties. It was when I was being selfish. I ran ahead at both the farmer's carry and the sandbag lunges, and I was waiting there by the equipment, waiting for her to reach back or to catch back up to me. I know for a fact because the judges even said, wait on your partner, wait on your partner. So they acknowledged that I hadn't left my partner. And so because they said that to me at both of those stations, I know that's where we got our penalties placed. They look at the number that you have written on your forearm and they have like this. I think they have this app that they say, okay, you know, race number 1114, one minute minute penalty. And so then that all feeds back into the system that's tracking your total time. So in the app, it shows, and then in our stats, it shows 115.37, which absolutely sucks because I was able to do this entire race by myself in 116.13 and to know that I know what I'm capable of, but it is not all up to me. I I was racing with a partner, and you win as a team, you lose as a team. And it unfortunately just all fell apart for us that day. And it was so hard for me to accept because I knew this was gonna be my last Hyrux race of this year. And I just knew that I was gonna go out with a win. Like I just knew that we were gonna finish in one ten or faster. And I was like, okay, this is gonna put a nice little red bow on this, you know, chapter of my Hyrux races. And it didn't, it left the most sour taste in my mouth. And as soon as we crossed the finish line, Madison just like sat down and she was like, I'm so sorry. And obviously, like I will be totally transparent. Like, I was so mad, but I can't like if if I were sick and someone exuded emotions of anger towards me, that would absolutely rip you apart. And so I truly showed grace in that moment, even if inside I was frustrated, I was not gonna let that impact my outward emotions. And so I just really extended a lot of grace and I just said it's okay. And I just like put my arm around her. I'm like, great job. Like we we did good, you know, we did 1137, and not a lot of people can say that. And so I was just like, I really was trying to encourage her, but I was like visibly upset, I was visibly frustrated. But once again, I can feel things on the inside and not project that outwardly. And I would never want her to, especially immediately after a race, when you knew what you were capable of, like I didn't want to add insult to injury. And so she just kept saying over and over, like, you know, I'm sorry. And I just said, Don't worry about it. It's okay. And then she told me, I was like, you know, what like what happened? What's going on? And she told me that from the jump, like that one, that first one kilometer run, she said, my stomach was shot from that very first run. She said her heart rate like shot into the 170s and it like never came back down. And so she said she was just fighting for her life that whole race. And that's just how the cookie crumbled. And like I said, I feel like I still haven't accepted it because of how good I was feeling on race day and what I could have potentially done if both of us were feeling our best. But unfortunately, that's just not how it all shook out. And in all honesty, even recording this podcast, there are times where, and I'm really not, I'm doing very minimal edits. I've paused this a few times and started talking again to gather my thoughts, but I really have not taken out anything. It's just been a stream of consciousness, is what this episode has been. But I even feel like there's parts of today where I have felt cringe because there's something about me that just feels the need to prove myself. And like none of y'all care. Like, y'all don't y'all don't care what I do in a high rock space. Like, I think it is fun following a story. I think it's fun seeing the training that someone does leading up to an event, and then them have a public goal, and then seeing them either hit or miss that. Like, I think seeing a story like that gives you a lot more buy-in. So maybe, maybe you do feel that way, and maybe you were curious to see what our time was, but there's something in me, and honestly, like the Lord is still working through it of trying to rid me of my need to feel like I always have to prove myself. I always have to either reach my goal or like have a reason as to why I didn't reach my goal, because I know the type of competitor that I am, and I know that like if it's all left up to me, I will not miss because I know the effort and the preparation that I am personally willing to put into it, but this has shown me, and like I think God is working through me to show me time and time again, you are not in 100% control. And I know it is just a hierarchs race, but I think God uses things like this that matter a lot to us to teach us bigger lessons. And I think that's what He's doing with this. So there's part of me that still through this episode, like you can even tell, like by the way I said things. I mean, everything I said is 100% truth. 100%. Like there's there was no sugarcoating it. There was nothing that was um, what's the word I'm looking for? There was nothing that was made a bigger deal than it was, like than it actually was. There was nothing that was fabricated, that's the word I'm looking for. There was nothing that was fabricated, there was nothing that was inflated about this story. Everything I said was 100% fact, but there's just like this innate in need in me that's like I could have done better if my partner had not gotten sick. And that is not me being a team player, and I I hate that about myself. Looking back, being a team player would have been to put my pride aside, to slow down to the pace that she needed to run on the runs to have stayed with her, to have encouraged her. And I didn't do that. And maybe part of it was because I did not like I met Madison two hours before we raced. But it doesn't matter. We were still teammates. We signed up for this race together, we were racing together. I should have been more of a teammate. But instead, I saw the goal and I was refusing to let go of that, and I was willing to do whatever it took, even if that meant setting a pace that she couldn't keep up with because she was sick. And here's the thing: if she had not been sick, she could have kept up with me. I really believe she could have kept up with me, you know? But like, why do I have this desire? I don't know. And I think it's something God's still working out in me. Because, like I said, you can even hear through this episode my my my need to explain myself. And that is so stupid and petty. And I think it this race has revealed a lot in me. And once again, God's teaching me you cannot control everything, you cannot control all the outcomes. All you can control is your input. You can't control 100% of the output. So, although this is not the update I was hoping to give for this race recap, this is just how the cookie crumbled, unfortunately, this time. And I just hate that I am now taking a break from High Rocks and I'm just left with this sour taste in my mouth. But I know that whenever I do come back and do another race, whether it be a solo or another doubles race, that this taste will still be there. And I will, with 100% certainty, do what I set out to do, which is 110 or faster. And I really feel like I'm capable of 108 or faster with a partner. And I can't wait to one day have an episode where I can recap with those results. But you can only control the inputs, you can't control the outputs. Apply that to everything in life. And also when it comes to the greater meaning, look for ways that God might be trying to teach you something because I think he's doing that in me. And I'm a work in progress. I'm I clearly, clearly have not arrived. You can tell it in my voice. You can tell that I'm saying the right things without really deep in my heart believing them yet. Now, I shouldn't say that. I do believe it. I do believe that God is doing something in me that is bigger than a Hyrux race. He's trying to teach me something deeper. And I know that to be true. I just have not arrived at where he wants me to be yet. And we probably never arrive, right? We're constantly refining and improving. And so I'm still a work in progress, but I just wanted to recap that race. It doesn't have a pretty red bow on it, but this is reality. And sometimes you win some, you lose some, right? And this was unfortunately a loss. And I would say that's okay, but it's not okay in my mind, and maybe I'll grow to accept it. So this this I'm just leaving you with I'm leaving you with unfinished business. I'm leaving you with a messy ending that doesn't have um, what is the word? It doesn't have closure, there's no reconciliation for um how everything shook out. But the one thing is for sure, and I know that some of y'all probably think this is so cheesy. People think you're cringe until it works, is what everyone says. But another penny in the jar mentality is something that one, this is what this podcast is named after, but it's something that I absolutely have woven into my life in every area, and this race feels like a setback, but I'm still gonna keep showing up day after day. I'm still gonna keep training because I love it, and I know that a healthy body and a healthy mind is what God wants for me, and I know that in doing these races because it's something I absolutely love and enjoy, God wants that for us. He loves us pursuing things that we enjoy. And so I will keep doing that. But this is an end for high rocks for me for a while. That's all for today. Thanks so much for listening to another episode of the Daily Penny. If you were listening to this on Monday, March 30th, we have started a brand new strength cycle in the app. These are the workouts that I follow on a weekly basis, and especially now that I'm taking a step back from my Hyrux training every Wednesday. I will be following the split program. So I will be doing the strength workouts on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and then Wednesdays, I'm just going to kind of rotate in some different forms of cardio that I love. There is a full body conditioning workout in the app that is scheduled every Wednesday. Some weeks I might do that, other weeks I might be doing a Peloton ride, some weeks I might go on a run, some weeks I might do a Stairmaster workout. I don't know. But I will be taking just a little break from Hyrux for a while and incorporating some different forms of conditioning on Wednesday. But the split program in the app is what I follow. We also have a three-day full body strength program called Foundations. That's an excellent program if you are a runner or maybe you're training for a Hyrux race, but you still want to prioritize traditional strength training. That's a perfect program to mix and weave into your week. Those are full body strength workouts scheduled on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, but you can change that schedule to fit whatever is best for you. But until next time, keep adding another penny in the jar.