Why you don’t feel like yourself after C-Section (the part no one talks about)

Why do so many women feel disconnected from themselves after a traumatic C-section?

In this episode of The C-Section Healing Space, I explore the deeper emotional and energetic side of C-section recovery, the part that is rarely spoken about.

We talk about:
- nervous system shutdown after birth
- emotional numbness after C-section
- epidurals and the “spinal block”
- trauma responses in the body
- energy and emotional disconnection
- why the scar healing doesn’t always mean you have healed
- reconnecting with your body after birth trauma

I also share my own personal experiences from my three C-sections and why my third birth felt so different emotionally.

This is a gentle, reflective conversation for women who feel:
“I don’t feel like myself anymore.”

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Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast/video is for educational and informational purposes only and is based on personal experience, professional coaching perspectives and personal beliefs around emotional and nervous system healing. It is not medical advice, diagnosis or treatment and should not replace support from a qualified medical professional. Always seek advice from your doctor, midwife or healthcare provider regarding any medical concerns, symptoms or decisions relating to your health, pregnancy, birth or recovery.

#CSectionRecovery #BirthTraumaHealing #NervousSystemHealing #CSectionHealing #SomaticHealing #BirthTrauma #TraumaticBirth #PostpartumHealing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi and welcome to the C-section podcast. There are many reasons as to why you may not feel like yourself after a traumatic c-section, and I'd like to talk about the one that isn't spoken about, I don't think it's spoken about at all, and that is energy. So, first, what is energy? What am I talking about when I say energy? I was thinking about the simplest way to talk about this, and what I came up with is if you look at a human under an unimaginable powerful microscope, you wouldn't see solid matter, you would see atoms made up of empty space and tiny particles moving really fast. So think about a fan, a spinning fan, you know, a fan that keeps you cool, and when it moves really fast, it can look still, right? It can look like it's solid, but actually it's moving air. So that is what we look like under a microscope. Tiny particles moving really fast, and through us is life force energy, and that's what fuels our thoughts, emotions, our breath, and our intuition. And when that energy is balanced, we feel free and connected and happy, but when the energy is blocked, we can feel low or stressed or just not ourselves. So as you listen to the rest of this, remember yourself as energy. You are moving energy, energy is moving through you all of the time. You are not just skin and bone, you are energy, and there are many places that I could go with this when it comes to why you don't feel like yourself after sea after a traumatic c-section experience, and to where the energy could be blocked. But there's two in particular that I really want to talk about. The first one is the spinal block, and I didn't even catch the fact that it's called spinal block until I was thinking about doing this episode. It's actually called spinal block or epidural. So for us to feel balanced and happy and connected to ourselves, we need to feel. So having the necessary epidural spinal block actually stops us from feeling. And the thing is that it's not just stopping you from feeling physically. If the signals are turned off from our brain to our body to stop us feeling physically, surely there's a strong possibility that they're also turned off emotionally. This is my theory. With my first two C-section births, I felt nothing when they showed me my babies. I didn't feel happy, I didn't feel sad, I just felt completely indifferent. That rush of love that other mums talk about, I didn't have that. With my first, I just remember feeling exhausted. Like I actually remember falling asleep, like almost falling asleep, and the anaesthetist shouted, like, Davina, you need to wake up. I was just exhausted. It was a 36-hour labour. So many things had happened in that labor. If you listened to the previous episode, you would have heard a bit about what happened to me during that time. And yeah, I just remember feeling exhausted. And also when they showed her to me, I was just like, hmm, okay. I didn't feel anything. And with my second, again, they showed him to me, and I was like, hmm, okay. That was it. I didn't feel happy or sad or elated or I just felt nothing. I was numb. Not numb just physically, I was numb emotionally. And I have spoken to so many women over the years who blame themselves for this experience, and they feel so much guilt for having that feeling of nothing, and the fact that that feeling can then run on for months and years for some. And there is a shame that comes with it too, because you feel like you can't tell anyone that that was your experience. Because what if they think you're a bad person or a bad mum? So you end up just keeping it in, keeping the guilt and the shame inside, and then it all comes back to your nervous system again. This is why I'm so passionate about this work and the nervous system, and talking about the fact that a c-section and traumatic birth is not just a physical experience, it's an emotional, energetic, and spiritual one too. And that's a lot of the reason why you don't feel like you're sapped out of c-section, because even though the scar has healed, you haven't. So even though the scar looks healed on the outside, you haven't healed on the inside, emotionally, spiritually, or energetically. And I want you to know that you're not a bad mum or a bad person if you had that experience. My theory is that our energy is also blocked when we have that spinal block. And it didn't allow us to feel in that moment. And not just the needle alone, but everything that came before it, how you were treated during your labour, if you were afraid, if you felt listened to, if the C-section was something that you wanted or didn't want. I believe all of that combined contributes to then the shutdown of not being able to feel. And through my own lived experience, I have experienced both sides. When I had my third child, it was at the end of 2021, so just at the end of COVID, I didn't allow my partner to be in the room, so I labored on my own from 3 p.m. until 7 a.m. the next day. I was distraught, crying, I was just so upset. But yet when I had my C-section with him and I saw him, I felt that rush of love feeling. So even though my experience was of labor was not a good one, I had done so much work during my pregnancy with him, learning about birth, learning about the body, learning about labor, and I had a trust in my body and a belief in my body that I didn't have before. And I believe part of that is what helped me connect and have feeling. I meditated during the C-section. I told myself that I wanted to feel, and so I believe I was able to support myself having those tools and not allowing the experience to take over from my internal feelings. I do believe that there's a compounding element that happens both sides. So know that you are not at fault, nor is your body at fault. It's about energy. And I know I said I had two, but now I'm just thinking about a third. Because again, it just all it's all connected, right? Everything is connected. So I'm thinking about when you're scared and worried, your body will send signals to tell you to fight, flight, freeze, or fall. It will give you, it will give you signals. And if you've had a spinal block or an epidural and you're scared, and your brain is telling you to run, because that's what it would most likely tell you to do, if you're scared, but there's no signal to the legs, there's no signal, so your brain is shouting maybe to run, and then it's the signal is not happening, and your legs are just still. It's like your nervous system is being overridden, and your brain may not understand why. It's maybe thinking, what is happening here? Like, is there a malfunction? And that experience doesn't just go away just because the feeling then comes back to our legs and to the rest of our body. The experience will stay because the subconscious logs every single thing we do, see, touch, hear. It logs it as a survival technique because it wants us to remember. So I wonder what happens in our bodies when it feels like it's malfunctioned because I've told you to run and you didn't run. Your legs, there was no signal, it didn't work. I imagine it creates maybe an anxiety or a panic in our bodies that we then play out throughout our daily lives. Let me know in the comments if any of this is resonating with you. So, number two, which is now number three, of the reasons that are not spoken about as to why you may not feel like yourself out of C-section, is because we are made up of energy and frequency. And you know this because when you have gone into a room, you know that the energy in the room is good or bad, you can feel it, you can just feel the energy as you walk in, and you could be in a room with some people, and then somebody walks in, and then you feel the energy change in the room when that person walks in, whether it's good or whether it's bad, but you feel it, like that's the stuff I'm talking about. That's the energy, the things that is not tangible, you can't hold it, but you can feel it, and you absolutely cannot deny it. That is what I'm talking about, that energy, and you've experienced that, and you know that you didn't have to know the person, you hadn't you didn't need to see them before the person didn't even need to say anything, you can just feel it as they enter or as you meet somebody, you can just feel it, and that's all happening on the outside of your body. So, what happens when the energy of other people from their hands goes inside of your body? Have you ever wondered what energy your surgeons have before they come into the room with you and perform the C-section? Before they put their hands inside of your body? Have you ever wondered what energy the midwife has before she's giving you a vaginal examination? Our body is the most intimate vessel, it's all we have, it's all that we own. We're not immune from energy transfer because we're pregnant and in labor, and just because they are medical staff. I would actually argue that it's the complete opposite. Because we're highly vulnerable, that we are highly open to all energies, and all of these energies can affect all parts of us. And just because the surgery is done and finished and you're at home does not mean that the energy has left you. As I said earlier, the subconscious remembers everything, the body remembers everything, so it will actually do the opposite, it would actually stay with you until that energy is released, especially if your c-section was traumatic. Traumatic experiences stay in the body until they're processed. That's how it works. You've heard of Maybe the Body Keeps the Score. That's a great book. Tell me in the comments if you've ever thought about this. Did you think about energy in this way? Did you know that energy works in this way? I'm really interested to hear. Because I actually don't think I've had this conversation with anyone else apart from you guys. So I'd love to get your response. Let me know how you feel. Maybe send me a message if you're listening to this on audio. I'm quite sure there is something in the description if you're listening on audio that you can send me a message. Um, I also do put these podcasts on YouTube and as like a visual podcast. So you can also comment on YouTube as well. But yeah, I feel like this is the first time I'm really sharing these thoughts with anyone. So let me know what you think. And if you're interested in the first step to reconnection with your body, you can sign up to the waiting list for the reconnection ritual, which is a handmade oil that I've made myself that I have used for how many years now? I want to say coming into five years, and it's going to be available for you too, and it has accompanying support that comes with it. So you can find all the details in the description. I feel like this podcast has still left me thinking too. It probably has for you as well. Until next time, I love.