Why So Many Women Feel Guilty After C-Section

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Feeling guilty after a C-section is incredibly common but that doesn’t mean the guilt belongs to you.

In this episode of The C-Section Healing Space, I talk honestly about the shame, blame and guilt so many women carry after having a C-section, especially when society glorifies vaginal birth and dismisses the emotional reality of birth trauma.

After having 3 C-sections in 5 years, including unplanned, planned and a unsuccessful VBAC attempted birth, I know firsthand how deeply these feelings can stay in the body.

In this video we talk about:
• Why women feel guilty after C-section
• Society’s pressure around “natural birth”
• Birth trauma and emotional healing
• Emergency and unplanned C-sections
• How guilt becomes stored in the body
• Why your child does not love you any less
• The emotional and energetic side of C-section recovery
• Gentle ways to begin releasing guilt and reconnecting with yourself

I also share simple nervous system and reconnection practices that supported my own healing after traumatic birth experiences.

This is a calm, soul-deep healing space for women recovering emotionally, physically and energetically after C-section.

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https://www.divinajohnson.com/product-page/reconnection-body-oil

✨ Subscribe for videos on:
• C-section recovery
• Birth trauma healing
• Nervous system healing
• Emotional recovery after birth
• Somatic healing
• Meditations and reconnection rituals

#CSectionRecovery #BirthTrauma #PostpartumHealing #CSectionHealing #MotherhoodHealing #PostpartumMentalHealth #TraumaticBirth #SomaticHealing #EmotionalHealing #NervousSystemHealing


Disclaimer: This content is for educational and informational purposes only and is not medical advice. Please always seek advice from your doctor, midwife or qualified healthcare professional regarding your physical or mental health, recovery or medical concerns. Individual healing experiences vary, and this content is intended to support, not replace professional medical care.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This is very, very common. You are not alone if you feel guilty after having a c-section. Society is vagina group. That's the main reason why you feel guilty. C-section is not celebrated or revered. You'll have people that say that you took the easy way out, that you didn't really birth your baby. You may even feel that way yourself. And it's so hurtful. Especially for those where it was not a choice. It wasn't a choice at all. You had an unplanned or emergency C-section. And even for those where it was a choice, it's your choice. Why are you made to feel guilt or shame about your choice? Sorry, there's a lot of wildlife in this garden. Society, social media, TV, movies all glorify vaginal birth and make it that that's the only way birth can happen, which obviously we know, because we are c-section moms, so we know that's not the only way. And don't get me wrong, the body was made to birth vaginally. I do believe that. Like that's because that's what we do. Like we have the mechanisms and our bodies to do that, but that's not the only way to birth, clearly, because we have birthed by a c-section. I've had three c-sections in five years. First was unplanned, second was planned, third was a VVAC attempt, vaginal birth after cesarean that ended in a c-section. So there are more ways to give birth than vaginal than a vaginal birth. Because society has only glorified vaginal birth, you don't only hear it through TV media, social media, but you may even have it in your family, older generation. This I can't count the amount of women that have said to me that their mother-in-law or their grandmother or their mother was like, Well, that's not what I did in my day, and you were lazy, you took the easy way out, etc. And because you're also very vulnerable when you are pregnant and labour and post-partum, that those messages you can start to believe. And you could wonder. Like, did I did I did the easy way out? Like, did I did I do something wrong? And I want you to know that you didn't do anything wrong. You did the best that you could in the situation that you were in. If your c-section was unplanned or an emergency, you did the best you could in the situation that you were in. And if it was planned, it's your choice. And you're allowed choice. Women are allowed choice. If you choose to birth via C-section, it's nobody else's business. I don't want you to believe what they say. Because we know that recovering, having a C-section and recovering from C-section is far from easy. Not being able to lift your baby when they're crying, having to have somebody pass them to you. Not being able to walk up straight, having a scar, and maybe your scar has been difficult to heal, like mine was. It got infected through well, the first time it got infected twice, and the second time twice again. It took a long time to heal. It took a long time to feel like myself. I also had a key load scar that went that look like this, that is now gone due to the reconnection ritual, which you can find in the description. But it's not it's far from easy. And we know that the reason that you feel guilty is actually because of what everybody else is projecting onto you. Because as a m mother, like for you and having your baby, it's not a natural feeling for you to feel guilty about it. You've had your baby. Why would you feel guilty about how they arrived? It's not you, it's everybody else. This is the one time we get to say that. It's about it's everybody else, it's everybody else's projection onto you, and in your vulnerability, you can start to believe it. And you can start to believe that maybe you should have done something else, or you should have done this, or you should have done that. Also as a doula. So helping other mums birth the way they want to birth and not having a doula for mine. I didn't even know about that when I had my births. In hindsight, I know it is like in the birthroom. I know what the pressure feels like. I know how medical staff compile it on, making you feel like I mean I've had mums that said they've told me if I don't do this, my baby's gonna die. Which is just awful. All you want is for you and your baby to be okay. So I know what it's like to accept interventions that you might have felt like you didn't want to accept, but you felt like you didn't have a choice. You felt the pressure, you felt like they knew best, even if something in you kind of didn't feel quite right. The way that you were could have been treated, I was treated badly through mine. You might have experienced the same. All of these things contribute to how, if it was unplanned or emergency C-section, how that ends up. And so when you then replay and think about the birth, you might like, oh, I should have said no to this, or I should have done this, or why didn't I do this, or why didn't I do that? Don't torture yourself with any of that. You did the best you could with the information that you had in the situation that you were in. And also your baby, child, however old your baby your child is now, your child loves you no matter how they entered into this world. They actually they don't care, they love you just the same. So know that as well. And so a way for you to begin to ease that guilt is one remembering that that your child loves you no matter how they entered into this world. They just love you. And then also, if you haven't already, you could write about your birth. You could write your birth story on how you feel, and then you may want to meditate on that. And when I say meditate, you don't have to be anything spectacular, you don't have to sit cross-legged humming. You could just lie on your bed, put your hands on your room, set your phone for five minutes, and just lie there for five minutes, just with a focus on your tummy and just see what comes up, and then forgive yourself for how you've been feeling about yourself because you are a good person, you're a good mom. You went through something huge that wasn't just physical, it was emotional, it was energetic and spiritual, and you probably didn't have any space to process it. Because what that's the thing is like once you've had your c-section, you've got your baby and then after the races. Nobody's kind of checking in to see how you're doing emotionally. You could even have been afraid to say how you felt emotionally because you're afraid of what people might think. Again, we're back to how society only portray perfect perfect doesn't exist. Perfect moms, and so you don't want anyone else to think that you're that you're not, that you're struggling, so you just probably kept it to yourself. All of this plays into the guilt that you feel. So it's time to release it. It's time. And it doesn't matter if your C-section was two months or twenty years ago. You're not it's never too late to begin this journey. You can start now. Start with the five minutes, just reconnecting with yourself, because that really is the start of this is reconnecting with your body. Like if this was useful to you, comment, let me know what you think about this, if you felt guilty after your birth, if you still do, and subscribe. I really want to grow this channel so that more women can find this perspective on c section healing, which I really don't feel like is out there. There's a lot about physical healing, but not about the emotional, spiritual, energetic healing. And so I want women to know that they're not alone in this. So also share this with another c section mum so she knows that she is not alone. And yeah, comment, let me know what you think.