A Youth Pastor’s Story Of Doubt And Deliverance

A friend’s abuse in church can shake everything you thought you knew about God, and Austin Bass doesn’t pretend otherwise. We talk through the kind of church hurt that breeds doubt, isolation, and anger, and how that pain can quietly turn into self-harm, substance use, and suicidal thinking while you still show up on Sundays with an AirPod in. If you’ve ever asked, “If God is real, why did this happen?” you’ll hear an honest, grounded answer that separates God’s character from people’s unchecked sin and broken leadership.

Austin shares the turning point that came at a church camp when he felt torn between the party route and the Jesus route, then encountered God in worship in a way he can’t explain away. From that moment, the story moves through heartbreak, betrayal, and COVID isolation, but it also highlights something many of us underestimate: Christian community that refuses to give up. We dig into what real community looks like, why inclusion matters, and how friendships can become a lifeline for healing, discipleship, and spiritual growth.

We also get practical about fear and bold faith: why action beats endless planning, how accountability and prayer carry you when your own prayers feel weak, and how your inputs shape your mindset. Austin casts vision as a youth pastor for raising up worship leaders, serving other churches, and helping the next generation discover identity and purpose in Christ. If Kingdom Chaos is your kind of Christian podcast, subscribe, share this with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review so more people can find it.

About this episode

Church hurt can leave wounds that run deep. 

For Austin Bass, one painful experience during his teenage years caused him to question everything he believed about God. What followed was a season of rebellion, substance abuse, self-harm, and hopelessness as he searched for answers apart from Christ.

In this honest and hope-filled conversation, Austin shares how God patiently pursued him through his darkest moments, restored his faith, and ultimately called him into ministry. Today, Austin serves as a youth pastor, using his story to help the next generation discover the grace and faithfulness of Jesus.

Whether you've experienced church hurt, wrestled with doubt, or wondered if God could redeem your past, this episode is a powerful reminder that no one is beyond the reach of God's grace.

What’s in this episode

• Austin's childhood growing up in church
• How church hurt planted seeds of doubt
• Wrestling with difficult questions about God and suffering
• Rebellion, substance abuse, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts
• Why discipleship matters during seasons of doubt
• How God pursued Austin even when he walked away
• The importance of community in spiritual growth
• Learning to trust God's mysterious but faithful plans
• Finding purpose through youth ministry
• Encouragement for anyone struggling with faith or church hurt

Key Scriptures

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”Romans 8:28“

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”Psalm 34:18“

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”2 Corinthians 5:17“

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”John 10:10“

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”Proverbs 3:5-6“

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”Hebrews 10:24-25

Reflection questions

1. Have I allowed the actions of people to shape my view of who God is?
2. Is there unresolved church hurt keeping me from fully trusting Jesus?
3. Who is intentionally discipling me and encouraging my faith?
4. What questions or doubts have I been afraid to bring before God?
5. How has God remained faithful, even during seasons when I wasn't faithful to Him?
6. Is God calling me to use my past pain to help someone else?
7. Who can I encourage this week by sharing part of my testimony?

Key Takeaway

People may fail us, but Jesus never will. No matter how far you've wandered or how deep your wounds are, God is faithful to redeem your story and use it for His glory.

Quote from the episode

"I always knew God was real—I just didn't know who He was."

Music by AlexGrohl from Pixabay

Transcript

Welcome To Kingdom Chaos

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Welcome to Kingdom Chaos, a podcast for anyone trying to live a purpose and faith-filled life in a loud and messy world. Jesus said his kingdom in another story, yet here we are navigating real life and real struggles. I'm not a guru, just someone learning that God's grace meets us even in the chaos. This is Kingdom Chaos where faith meets real life and purpose is still found in the mess.

Meet Austin And His Mission

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Hey, welcome back to King Chaos. My name is Troy, and today I have an awesome guest with me. Austin is here, and we're going to talk a little bit about his testimony and what he's gone through. But before we do that, I want Austin to tell you a little bit about who he is today. Who are you, Austin?

SPEAKER_00 0:52

What's going on, everybody? My name is Austin Bass. I am located in Montgomery, Texas. I am a seventh and eighth grade pastor at a church called Restoration Church. Um I formerly worked with Troy at Woodlands Church for a couple of years. And right now I am pastoring and discipling community alongside these junior high students. What takes up your time right now? Biggest thing right now, as far as time, is definitely being present at the church. Given that I just launched as the seventh and eighth grade pastor, I'm helping out a lot with our student internship and I'm kind of watching how the Lord is using ministries in Montgomery. And one thing I love most is that our ministry partners with other ministries. We pray for different churches throughout the week, and through that, we are present at a lot of places. For instance, tomorrow, I'll be at a foster camp called Bridge Camp. Awesome. Uh with Love Heals Youth. Yeah. And so we're doing things like that almost every single day. That's awesome, man. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Just the just the body of Christ coming together. And yeah, just it's not it's not churches against each other, it's churches for each other.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

It's also not a job, it's it's definitely a lifestyle. And it it is ours, it is a lot of my time, but it's so much fun. It's fantastic. Other than that, I'm hanging out with my fiance Amber.

Engagement And Current Lessons

SPEAKER_00 2:03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

That's gonna be my follow-up question. You recently got engaged.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

So about that, yeah. Yeah, I got engaged on May 16th. I am so grateful for the community the Lord has blessed us with. We've had so much fun. And you know, we just got done leading camps at both of our churches. Something crazy is that I had a couple friends that spent the whole weekend that I got engaged all just setting up the picnic, setting up the setting where I did propose. And all of them were like, hey, don't pay me back. It's probably like a thousand dollars in total. It was crazy. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Fantastic. Yeah, we're both super grateful, Amber. Congratulations on that, man. I'm so happy for you. It's awesome, man. What's God been teaching you?

SPEAKER_00 2:45

The Lord is teaching me that his plans are mysterious, but that he's faithful. And so I'm watching people who are fatherless, um, or people who are, you know, single dads really. I know that's so specific and weird. You know, I'm an only child, I have two loving parents, but the Lord really has me present in the lives of those who don't have a father right now. And so I believe it's allowing them to see who the Lord is as a father through my friendship with them. Oh, yeah. So that's I would say the biggest thing right now.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

That's cool, man. All right. So we know a little bit about

Childhood Faith And Ninth Grade Doubt

SPEAKER_01 3:17

you right now. So uh, what about the past, Austin, when you were growing up? You grew up in Huntsville, yes. I did grow up in Huntsville. So tell me a little bit about that when you were a child and just growing up, tell me about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

I like to say I had the greatest childhood ever. Yeah. I had probably some of the hardest teenage years that I've ever heard about. Maybe not, who knows? But yeah, being in Hunts Vegas, Huntsville, Texas, I was around great community growing up as a child. Uh and once I was in ninth grade, I had something happen, and it was in church, and so it made me have a lot of doubt toward the Lord. I didn't really have anyone walking with me or discipling me, felt very alienated. And so I chose the wrong crowd by choice.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

So, so you you grew up in church though, to this point, is that right?

SPEAKER_00 4:03

Yes. Okay, okay. Starting at six years old, I got baptized. I would have these super demonic nightmares. Uh, my parents would be like, Hey, go to bed. And my grandma would say, Hey, come in my room. She would read me the gospel of Luke all night long. Oh, nice. Uh, we would do that, or we would watch Star Wars. And so from a young age, nice, I knew so much about Jesus, Star Wars, and rap music. That's awesome. All through my grandma.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

That's great. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

All right, so uh ninth grade, is that what you said? Is that yeah? Yeah, like sixth through eighth grade, I was in love with worship. I would come home every day and I would tell my mom how much I loved worshiping the Lord and how I wanted to be a worshiper. Didn't really believe in myself as a musician or that I could sing, but I knew I loved worship. And in ninth grade, I had a friend who got um assaulted sexually by a pastor. And so it made me think, hey, if any of this is real, why did this happen? Yeah. Um the way so many people have questions like that, man. If God loves you, why? Right? Yeah, for sure. And I didn't, it's like if you only saw a child getting spanked by their parent, and that's your only image of who they are as a parent. Yeah. When in reality, there are bad parents, you know, they do exist, but the Lord is not one of them. Yeah, I believe that this uh happening was an example of a bad parent. Maybe someone who shouldn't be in ministry at that time, or maybe they needed accountability and the sin inside of them grew. And so today I look back and I say, if my sin is unchecked, if anyone's sin is unchecked, those are the evil things that are possible through that. Yeah. Um, but yeah, it made me run away from the Lord. It made me run away from church. I was still in church, but I'd have an airpod under my ear. You weren't present. I was not present at all.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

Did you end up stop going to church at any point, or what happened from that point?

SPEAKER_00 5:46

Yeah, so I was still going to church. If there was an event, I was playing the sports as hard as possible. Other than that, I you know, my dad grew up with a ton of church hurt. And so we were the ones always dragging him to church. One day my dad came home and he said, Hey, I just took up a security guard position at this mega church. Y'all need to come with me. It's awesome. So we started going to uh a church in the woodlands, woodlands church, and the worship was phenomenal. All the lights, all the craziness, I loved it. But once the message came on, I had an airpod under my ear, wasn't paying attention at all. Um, and so I was still going, but I thought it was fairy tale nonsense. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

Yeah, so outside of church.

Rebellion, Substances, And Suicidal Thoughts

SPEAKER_01 6:25

So did that lead you astray, rebellious, anything like that? What happened outside the walls of church?

SPEAKER_00 6:30

Absolutely. The common factor was this is that I always knew the Lord was real. I didn't know who he was. If there's all these religions in the world, if there's all of these people who are going through hardship, if God is so good, why is that happening? Right. And so, yeah, I was I was choosing all the wrong things, whether that be substances or which to this day I don't think my parents know about. Who knows? Um they might soon. Yeah, they might soon, who knows? Um, but yeah, I was doing substances, I was heavily suicidal. I was listening to music that was um, you know, planting these seeds of bitterness and anger, and I would do self-harm. I would do all these things to myself that were not good. Yeah. And um, yeah, I was around people who influenced me to do worse and worse things, but more than anything, I was influencing them. Yeah. And so I knew that the Lord had a call on my life of being a leader, but I was the one that was always getting my friends into trouble. You can lead them one way or the other, right?

SPEAKER_01 7:28

You can be a leader, but it could be in the wrong way. Yeah. Absolutely, man. So uh, and what were the ages? You said you started about ninth grade. Uh, we'll get into how your life changed. At what point did your life change? What age were you whenever you saw you you knew the Lord, but now you started to have a relationship with him. He really

The Camp Night That Changed Him

SPEAKER_01 7:44

started to change. I was 16 years old. Okay. All right. All right.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

So, what what was the deciding factor, the turning point? So I was still going to church every Sunday with my parents. Yeah. And there was an advertisement for a camp. Thought the girl on the advertisement was super pretty. So I said, Hey mom, sign me up. This camp's gonna change my life. Yeah. Six months later, whenever it was time for that camp, I completely forgot about it. I was in a relationship. And in this relationship, mind you, I'm in high school and I'm dumb. I thought I was gonna marry this girl and be with her forever. Um, I'm like, hey, sorry, babe, I gotta go to this camp. I'll be back in a few days. And I go to the camp, and at this time, I knew I was broken. I knew there was brokenness inside of me, but I also really just wanted to party. So half of me was like, I want to party. The other half of me was like, I'm so broken and I need something more.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

In that middle space where you're at, and like I don't know which way to go. I'm torn between the two, whether I should go the right way or the wrong way. Who influenced you in going the way you went?

SPEAKER_00 8:45

So there was one person who had me in a state of indecision. And this is funny, and I'm not being goofy when I say this, but um, Kanye West music had me in a state of indecision. All of his music at the time was when he was conflicted about which way do I go? Do I go the party route or do I go the Jesus route? And there's a season in around 2018 where he was right there. Um, and that's exactly where I was. Now I had friends that were older than me who I introduced to substances in ninth grade. Um, and at this time, they were keeping me in a state of drug usage and all this other stuff. And as well as my girlfriend at the time, uh, we were in a very just bad relationship, and um, we were both kind of addicted to doing things. Um, someone else, though, at the camp, his name's Caleb Kanada. Uh, we did not like each other at all at the time. Uh, he thought I was annoying. I thought he was rude. To this day, we are great friends. Yeah. Um, we both pastor at different churches. I saw him be so fully, you know, sold out for Christ at this camp. And I saw the light in him, and I was like, I want to be friends with this guy and I want to be like him. At that point, what did you do?

SPEAKER_01 9:51

What steps did you take? Where where did you go from there? Like you now have a person that's influencing you in the right, in the right way. Even Kanye West, which is which is amazing to me because I I remember that, and so many people, so many Christians are like, Oh, that's fake. Right. That's fake. Right. But then you look at you and you're like, man, he whether whether it was fake or not, God uses it to change people's lives. And I'm not saying it was or wasn't, I'm just saying, like, man, don't judge people. Like, you don't judge what God's gonna do. Yeah, like look at what you're doing now. I mean, that's amazing. Tell me the next steps. Where'd you go from there? What what happened?

SPEAKER_00 10:25

So I will say first, you don't really know Jesus until you see him and the people you don't like because we are all made in God's image. Yeah, so the change was I'm in the middle of this row, all the whole camp, there's about a thousand kids in the room, and we were always late, so we were the very back. I, the whole camp, every time there was worship, I was terrified to sing because I didn't want the guys next to me to judge me. All the guys to my left had their hoods up and airpods in. All the guys to my right were fully bought in to what was going on.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

So not only were you in the middle of this thing of I don't know which way to go, but you were literally correct in the middle of the two crowds, right? Yeah, it's super cool imagery.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

Yeah. So what happened was the last night they were playing a song called Maker, and this voice, mind you, I got baptized when I was six, and this voice inside of me randomly, I mind you, I hadn't cried in probably four years when this happened. And this voice inside of me was like, Hey, lift your hands and sing as loud as possible. I was like, No, three times, third time. I was like, Alright, fine. So I lift my hands and I'm like, whatever. Started singing the song, and all of a sudden, there's this like pressure in my chest. Um, I had been watching some super demonic movies, and there was this woman I would see in my dreams. It was this old lady, she would sit at the foot of my bed, and I was terrified. I was too afraid to tell anyone. And ever since this moment of worshiping the Lord and feeling this pressure both be relieved and enter my chest, which I believe was the Holy Spirit. I haven't had a dream like that since. So I hadn't cried in four years. I I this is to this day the deepest revelation I've had with the Lord. Um, I I squeeze my eyes really hard, I open them, I can see the whole room, like the top of everyone's heads, and I feel my face, and my hand is covered in tears. I immediately I'm like, I gotta tell my girlfriend about Jesus. So the next day we go home, I finally get to her house and I'm ready to tell her, and she breaks up with me on the spot. And I'm driving home and I'm trying to cuss, I'm trying to scream, but I'm short-breathed. And the only words that make sense in me are thank you, Lord. Because deep down, someone in me, the Holy Spirit, knew that I was delivered from something that would have ruined my entire life. And so from that moment, being so sad, of uh it was revealed that that same exact night um she cheated on me. I won't get into details, but there was a video that went around both schools in Huntsville and all my friends knew and no one told me. And I felt this betrayal, and I knew I had this life-changing moment, but I didn't do anything about it because I was

Betrayal, COVID, And A Slow Return

SPEAKER_00 12:52

right when COVID hit. Yeah. So COVID hit, I was stuck inside, I was sad and angry. So I just chased girls all summer long. At the end of summer, something happened and I got really hurt, and I didn't tell anyone for about a year. That December, after bottling up all my emotions, I finally went back to Woodlands Church. And um, my friends that I had met that were following the Lord, they were still there. They accepted me with open arms. Suddenly I had all of these friends who were bought into my life. I went from having no friends to having probably 200 in a day.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Um, I was finally bought in, and basically that the whole a year later, that whole spring of 2021, I just slowly started following the Lord. And, you know, they would say, Hey, your music taste is gonna change. I was like, Yeah, that's never gonna happen. It did. Yeah. And I'd I'd listen to stuff and be like, What is this, dude? My last Wednesday as a senior, I met a girl named Amber, and she's the first person I told about the assault that happened to me. Yeah, at the end of that summer that I'd said about. And uh, she met me with full grace and full acceptance and full love. And that whole year I was filled with shame, and the Lord through her wrecked all of that. Yeah. Uh the next day, took her on a date, and now we are engaged. That's amazing. So I would say that both Caleb Canada and Amber Nedick are my two biggest influences. Caleb and I, our first year of college, yeah, we led a life group for about four years, and it's still running today. There's new leaders, but it's still going. Yeah. And there was a pastor named DK. He came to both of us and he was like, Hey, y'all are gonna lead a life group together. Both of us were like, absolutely not, that's not happening. And DK made us do it for about two years. Two years in, we became friends, and we're we text every day now. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

So, yeah. So you mentioned life groups, and of course, I was a life groups pastor there, and you worked with me and we both served together. And you mentioned community because that 200 friends, and whether that's an exaggeration or not, doesn't matter. It's a lot of them, right?

SPEAKER_00 14:50

So tell me what community means to you. You should

Why Community Keeps Him Alive

SPEAKER_00 14:53

be able to know what's going on in my life at a moment's notice. Not because you're not busy, but because you love me, and not because you love me, because I love you. And that has to go both ways. Yeah, and there are levels to community, but I truly do believe that community looks like three of my friends taking off an entire weekend to set up this proposal thing, taking off work, spending all this money, and then me going to them and then being like, Yeah, don't pay me back. That's one form of community. I better be willing to go the extra mile for them as well. But there's another form of community. It's hey, here's Nathan who doesn't know the Lord or is a brand new believer, and my community is willing to accept someone brand new. Yeah, I believe that there's community that is like family. I think that there's community that's um, you know, open to new people. And I don't really know how to give you a straight shot definition of what community is to me, but community is the reason I'm alive. Yeah, you know, community has kept me on this earth time and time again. Yeah, it's amazing. Every year I do a beach trip for my birthday, and I like this trip to set the precedent of what it means to pursue friendship with people. Yeah, and so what it really is is it's us doing life together, it's us cooking meals together, it's us doing nothing, doing everything, running errands, and it proves to me that that doesn't have to just be on vacation, that can be every day, and everyone deep down wants that.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

So walking on to Woodlands Church and being accepted that way, the welcoming that you had, right? How did that change the way you looked at people or did it?

SPEAKER_00 16:26

I believe today, the one of if not the biggest senior class at Woodlands Church, uh every year there's a senior Bible study. And what happens is when kids show up to this Bible study, there's about 200 of them, and basically it's you know, you have this school sits with this school, this school sits with this school. My graduating class, it was all mixed. Everyone, no, it didn't matter what you were about. You had there was no segregation. There was no segregation. I was best friends with top athletes and kids who loved anime. I love both of those things, so it just worked out. Awesome. But the thing about it is, is like real community to me is if your community is based on, oh yeah, our the only thing we have in common is we just do this one thing and we can't talk about anything else. That's not community because God made us for more than where we go to church, God made us for more than what we do, and God made us for more than what we look like physically. And I saw these seniors in high school, along with myself, who were popular, funny, had a lot of money, way more money than me. These people that I considered, oh yeah, they're just gonna be so exclusive and not even talk to me immediately out of the window. They were so inclusive, they were so accepting. And to this day, if I see any of them at the mall or anything, it's hugs, it's and it people I'm not even close to. And so that's real community. Tell everybody how old you are again.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

I'm 23. When I was 23 years old, I didn't have the attitude you had. Like that's that's God. That's God, man. I mean, I know you don't take credit for hey, this is uh it's all my power, this is what the way it's God that transformed your life. Absolutely. So just to sum up, just real quick, um, in Huntsville, you kind of got church hurt, let's say, uh, and then started to become rebellious and the whole teenage sex, rock and roll, all that stuff, right? And um, and then found a community where God worked through to just change your life. For sure. So from that point, your life has changed now. Like you're living for the Lord, you have your community behind you. Where do you go from here? What would happen?

Living Outward Instead Of Self-Protecting

SPEAKER_00 18:31

Before, if I was to approach someone, I would gain something from them, or they would gain something from me and it would add value to my life. Now, uh, you know, being everyone else went off to college, I stayed in town. I I've lived with my parents ever since. I'm about to move out. And basically, what it is is it's like, hey, there's this random guy at the gym who's like, he looks sad, the Lord's put him on my heart. I'm gonna go up to him, get his name. If he doesn't want anything to do with me, that's okay. At least he doesn't say, Wow, I'm in this awful place and no one has come up to me. Nobody cares. No one cares. The last thing I'm going to do is allow myself to be a barrier for the Lord to use. Have you always been that way to where you're just gonna walk up to some random person and start talking to him? Maybe I don't think so because I think before I would do that if I built up the courage or if I gained something from it. Whereas now, maybe deep down, there's places that are still being cleaned up by God. But really, what it is, is it's I know who I am and I know how intricately God has made me, and the God I believe in has made everyone that way. People with you know, power inside of them when the Holy Spirit is in them are not just pastors. People with power inside of them when the Holy Spirit is in them are not just members of one specific place or not one specific person of um ethnicity or background or whatever. It's like what the Lord really did in me was he showed me, hey, yes, you got betrayed by about 50 people in Huntsville, but even in Huntsville, there are people I have created for a purpose. And he allowed these 200 kids that I thought would be, you know, snobby losers to love and accept me. So now I can love and accept everyone. And so what this looks like practically is, you know, like I said, I had a life group and I would pursue community, but the biggest thing is is I was willing to invite new people into the spaces I'm in. And given that I was so accepted, it gave me boldness to walk into new seasons, walk into new places, not idolize where I was, not idolize where I am of oh no, this is the only good place. What if God takes it away? It's like, no, I can easily go anywhere he sends me because I've seen how he takes care of me. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

So I would say So how do you how do you battle fear in that? Because obviously there's a lot of people that say there's no way I'm walking up to somebody I don't know and start to talk to them like that, or even share my faith, or uh I I know like listening to you or watching you or anybody else that's following the Lord, they're like, That's crazy, man. I can't do that. I'm I'm I'm afraid. And I'm not saying that you don't have any fear because you probably have fear in many different ways or many different things, but how do you fight that? How do you get past that?

How He Fights Fear

SPEAKER_00 21:11

So I have a saying that I uh tell my friends a lot, and it's action beats theory until theory involves action. I can try to come up with the best approach, I can try to come up with all the courage in the world. If the Lord has instructed me to do something, it's better to do one thing than nothing. And it's better to do one thing than plan all these ways of oh, here's all the places I'm gonna go, here's all the things I'm gonna do. But I would say, how do you battle fear in those moments? Is I have life that is spoken into me, and there are seasons where other people's prayers for me are greater than prayers for myself. The music I listen to builds me up. The things I watch build me up, the things that I play on the TV is background noise, build me up, and there are seasons. Where those things are tearing me down. If I'm open about nothing, I will suffer in everything. When I'm open about the little things, the big things don't happen. And so I would just say, you know, no one can do it alone. Yeah. You have that fear for a reason. And it's not, it maybe it's because the Lord is instructing you to go a different way, but I think more than anything, um, the enemy wants to attack where you're most anointed. Yeah. And so there's a reason I, of all people, had a best friend get assaulted in the church. Yeah. Because the Lord has a specific call on my life. He has a specific call in that person's life. And so fear is built in those places. And the life that's spoken into me is always reminding me that my story isn't more or less than anyone else's, that I am created with purpose and not for the things that I do, but for who created me to begin with.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

You know, and so I think the biggest thing is just like even if I fall flat on my face and what I say doesn't land at all. Like this morning I was at Starbucks and I stuttered worse than I have ever stuttered in my life, and it was the funniest thing ever. I still got the order I asked for. They knew what I was talking about. If I stutter when I'm evangelizing, they still know what I'm saying. How am I making them feel? And if how I'm making them feel is hey, Austin's the best, I've already lost the plot. Yep. Yep. How I should make them feel is hey, I see you.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

Period. Yeah. What do you see in your future? Like even if it's what God's told you something, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Uh

Big Dreams And A Bigger Vision

SPEAKER_00 23:33

there's a lot. I'm a huge dreamer. Yeah. And I don't think that's by accident. I believe it's by design. That can also be a thorn in my flesh because I can think that I'm less than if I don't see a certain outcome. Or if I don't believe I can do a certain thing. What the Lord has taught me is that everyone needs someone to believe in them because he believes in us. Not in some selfish way of you can do it, you're the best, but in a way of I created you with purpose and vision and you feel the way you do for a reason. With that, these kids in junior high, these kids younger than them, my dream and my vision for the church is that the schools they go to, wow, I'm so excited to be in sixth grade, so I can go to that Bible study. Or I can go to Miss Ann's house to play soccer. Meanwhile, this Muslim kid has no idea that where he's going is a place where he's gonna be fed the word of God. Through that, even if you know the seed I'm planting is hey, you're believed in not for how great you are, but because someone made you on purpose. Yeah. And so that applies to my life as well. Um, I could talk ministry, I could talk um, you know, family vision, I could talk uh finances, and I have all those dreams. I I do believe that um somewhere in my future I will be, you know, sailing boats. I don't know what that means. I have zero idea. I do believe sometime in my future I'll be running a podcast with my mentor. I have no idea what that means, but I know it's happening. And so through that, um, the Lord has given me all of these big dreams and he's given me the tools I need right now, and I'm watching them happen in real time. So let me get specific. Yeah I believe that Amber and I will be local, uh, but I believe we won't stay local in the sense of uh who we impact. I'm not sure how, but I know that our hand is going to be blessing multiple churches, not just one. Um, and so I what I really want to do is raise up worship leaders in the youth group to go and help struggling youth groups. We meet on Sundays, not Wednesdays, yeah. So that on Wednesdays we can go help other churches in the community. If that's not one church, I don't know what it is. And so I praise God for that vision. All right,

What He’d Tell His Younger Self

SPEAKER_00 25:44

man.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

To wrap this up, we're gonna bring it full circle. We went to the future. Yeah, let's go to the past real quick to say what you went through, let's say from eighth grade to 11th grade, the before the tragedy, the transformation, everything. Somebody is that age, you take a second to think about it if you need to, but what do you tell them that might go through the same maybe church hurt or some kind of difficult season in their life that young trying to seek God and is he real? And if so, how does this happen? And so, what would you tell somebody, you know, in high school to middle school age?

SPEAKER_00 26:20

Yeah, where you see death, the Lord sees resurrection. Where we feel death, the Lord is resurrection. You feel the way you do on purpose, you are not evil for feeling that way. Evil was after you, and the Lord will resurrect the places that evil has ruined. If it ain't Jesus, it ain't working, bro. Every every sense you have is a gateway to who you are. Who you are on earth is a culmination of the things around you. Who you are in heaven is who God created you to be, period. No one can take that away. The only thing that can take that away is whether or not you decide to follow the King of Kings. What I would tell them most of all is the things around you, the world, the church hurt, all the things want the Lord to look like the most boring, most mundane, most uh cyclical option. When really everything you love, everything you feel, the things you're drawn to were created by him on purpose. So you really think that he's not the most fulfilling option for your life, taste and see, I can't convince them to feel a certain way. I can lead them to what makes me feel alive every day. Yeah, for sure. So that's it. Yeah, awesome. So and anything I could tell them, anything I could tell anyone, doesn't matter if you don't know who you are, whose you are. Yeah, who you are is not what you are. Identity is huge. Who you are is who made you. Yeah, and if you don't recognize that, you could listen to every podcast every day. It'll never matter. Yeah, that's awesome, dude.

SPEAKER_01 27:46

Yeah, thanks for so much for being here, dude. This has been fantastic. It's an honor. The next time you be here, you're gonna host and somebody's gonna be sending this to you. Come on. Always before we close, man. You mind

Prayer And Closing Words

SPEAKER_01 27:56

praying for us? Of course. Yeah, awesome.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

Yeah, Lord, thank you for um this space. Thank you for Kingdom Chaos, and thank you so much, Jesus, for bringing peace uh to the kingdom of our life, the kingdom of heaven, God, through us, Lord. Um, thank you so much for the millions of lives that you allow us to impact every day, even in ways we don't see. Thank you for following through on your promises, promises you made thousands of years ago. Lord, you've always had us in mind. And I pray right now that every listener right now would know that you have a specific purpose for them, but their identity isn't just that purpose. Their identity is that you love them and made them. That's it. Thank you, God, for uh Troy. Thank you, God, for this space, and thank you, God, for sending me here. I pray right now that this podcast would go out, and even if it's one soul, that you would impact their life in a way radically, Lord, and that the Holy Spirit would have full authority in their life from here on out. In Jesus' mighty name we pray. Amen.