The Long Way Out

Meet Anthony & Carlos

• Carlos • Season 1 • Episode 1

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Meet Anthony & Carlos in their first episode of their podcast, "The Long Way Out". It's our first go, so we talked a bit about ourselves and what we want our podcast to become. Intros, coming out later in life, navigating a new identity and our second act.

We invite you to join us in a conversation or share your own story.


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Music: Stick The Landing by Everet Almond

Carlos:

Is this thing on? All right.

Anthony:

Hey.

Episode 1:

Hi there. Oh, hello. Hello.

Carlos:

And welcome to The Long Way Out.

Anthony:

The Long Way Out.

Carlos:

And we're co-hosts I'm Carlos.

Anthony:

Hey, Carlos. I'm Anthony.

Carlos:

Awesome. Thanks for listening today.

Anthony:

Hey, folks.

Carlos:

So, I guess we'll start with intros. You know, I'm Carlos and I am a nurse, also a professor of nursing. However, this podcast is going to be about, we want it to be about a lot of things, you know. I guess I wanted something different from just work because I work two jobs, a day job and a night job. We'll explain that later. But I almost wanted to pick up a third job, which I was like, what the fuck? But how would I fit it? I'm hoping that I could even fit this into my schedule. And you, Anthony, tell the listeners about yourself.

Anthony:

Do I have to?

Carlos:

I mean, give a little bit of an idea.

Anthony:

Okay, well, let's throw it out there.

Carlos:

I know.

Anthony:

My name is Anthony. See, I'm a 65-year-old certified recovery coach, and also I am a certified public health worker.

Carlos:

Alright. And, you know, I'm 50, and we're a couple.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

You know? I guess we wanted something that we could do together, you know? I mean, it's been fun, right, being together.

Anthony:

It sure has.

Carlos:

We just want to do something different, I guess.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Well, what we want from this podcast, I mean, I guess we were talking about it. It's funny because when you get people together, you have different ideas of what you want to do. You're like rock and roll. And I'm kind of like, oh, I just want to tone it down a little bit. You're just like.

Anthony:

Yeah, but you know, you're a natural already. Just listening to you, you're a natural already.

Carlos:

I'm listening to you too. You told me I sounded like a sweaty ball girl.

Anthony:

Well, that was before we went on the air. you've got that tone like that prim and proper

Carlos:

I feel like I'm recording my lectures right now for my students I have to break out of that mold but anyway what we want from this podcast we want to pretty much talk about all the topics anything and everything and I guess for me I wanted to learn new stuff ask questions of my own because I don't know everything. I don't know anyone who does. I don't consider myself that smart either, you know, about certain topics. And sometimes I don't want to sound stupid. I mean, because you're very nice. You have to say that.

Anthony:

No, I mean, you know, compared to me.

Carlos:

No, stop.

Anthony:

Oh, you're highly educated. You know, I'm a 12th grader.

Carlos:

No.

Anthony:

End of story.

Carlos:

Yeah, but you got life experience, and there's something to be said for that, right?

Anthony:

Yeah, absolutely. Lived experience.

Carlos:

Yes. Absolutely.

Anthony:

Absolutely.

Carlos:

You know, so even though we are a couple and we're in a loft, you know, sometimes you're going to hear a lot of noises in the background. We're going to try to work those out because, Anthony, you've never done this before.

Anthony:

No.

Carlos:

No, I've never done this before either, so I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

Anthony:

Hey, trial and error. Rial and error.

Carlos:

And of course, I can read Reddit posts all day long, like I have been, right, obsessing with it.

Anthony:

Oh, yeah.

Carlos:

Yeah. And there we go. The HVAC is on. So we're going to let this tune out a little bit.

Anthony:

Yep, yep. You're going to hear some raw sounds, but we will edit that stuff out. Maybe not.

Carlos:

Hopefully we can edit it out.

Anthony:

I don't know, but, you know, I kind of like the vibe of being in the loft. Obviously, you're going to hear the HVAC. Above us, we have the tubes, stainless steel vent system, lots of bricks, brick walls.

Carlos:

Large windows.

Anthony:

Huge windows.

Carlos:

And we're in the middle of a downtown, so you might hear the occasional...

Anthony:

Oh, woo, woo, woo.

Carlos:

Oh, yeah. So hopefully you'll put up with it. But like I said, we'll try to work it out. We've never done this before. Anyway, yeah, never done this. Going to try to do this. Maybe first episode we'll talk a little bit about ourselves some more, like our relationship, how we met, navigating dating at our age. God damn.

Anthony:

Well, before I had to navigate into dating, I had to navigate a divorce.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

Yeah. And after the divorce, I had to navigate a breakup, you know, with women.

Carlos:

Yeah, that's right. Oh, I'm separated, not technically divorced, but, you know.

Anthony:

Sign on the dotted line.

Carlos:

Yeah, I got to commit to that already. But anyway, it's, you know, we met online. And of course, it was on one of those, quote unquote, dating websites.

Anthony:

Hey, it's crazy. Everybody's going on those websites. You know, my daughter told me that she met her boyfriend on a dating site. And I know my ex met her boyfriend on a dating site. And I met you on a dating site.

Carlos:

But, you know, for us, it's different, right? I mean, come on, that site is...

Anthony:

Is it?

Carlos:

I don't know. No. That's the thing. But you know what I do know?

Anthony:

I don't think it is. No, not nowadays.

Carlos:

But what I do know is that I fucking hated it.

Anthony:

Really?

Carlos:

What a fucking pain in the ass that site was. And I tried other ones, and I was like, I don't want to pay for more shit. And it's the same fucking assholes online, right? You have your closeted dudes and you have your dudes that want to get married right away, even though I said I never fucking want to do that again. And then you just have these random fucking crazy randos on there that, you know, I don't know. And you have these people who gaslight you all the time. And the thing is, like, I remember, like, some of these dudes make me feel about, like, make me feel like shit about myself. Right? So, like.

Anthony:

What do you mean? They make you feel like shit. Like, when you meet them, they downgrade you.

Carlos:

Or you send pics of yours. Like, can I see another picture? You know. And you send it, and they're like, meh.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Like, what the fuck, man? You know, like.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

And sometimes.

Anthony:

Or they just delete.

Carlos:

Yeah. Or they just like block you.

Anthony:

Yeah, block.

Carlos:

Right? And then, yeah. So it's just some bullshit. Or when you meet them and you're like, oh, you are totally not this person. How old was this photo of you? Right? And, yeah, it was just really difficult. You know, I met some really fun people, but I just never really connected with anyone. That's it. Until I met you, I connected with you.

Anthony:

I hope so. I mean, you know, that's what you're telling me, but is it the truth?

Carlos:

Well, it is, obviously, because you're still here and we're still together. But it was, I mean, when we met, right, it was, I thought it was going to be another one of these, like, connections, these interactions. And I'm like, oh, here we go. Someone wants to meet right now. And you were like, oh, I'm in your hood. I'm like, what?

Anthony:

Yeah, it was, I had the day off. It was, I think, November 9th.

Carlos:

Yeah, it was like Veterans Day.

Anthony:

It was actually Veterans Day.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

The last Veterans Day. Oh, it's been a year.

Carlos:

It's more than a year.

Anthony:

Yeah, more than a year. Yeah, so we spent, I was, you know, it's our second holiday together.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

Yeah. The trifecta. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

I like what you said yesterday.

Carlos:

Oh, how like when the holidays were over Now everyone's back to being fucking assholes

Anthony:

Everybody's back to being fucking assholes

Carlos:

That's true though

Anthony:

I put that on my Facebook page

Carlos:

That's really funny

Anthony:

And somebody put, but not you I try not to be an asshole

Carlos:

No, I don't either

Anthony:

By nature I'm not

Carlos:

I try to be nice

Anthony:

Yeah

Carlos:

Because you never know, right? But anyway, when we met It was weird, right? Because not that it was weird. Like, I just was thinking it was going to be the same bullshit that I had before. And I'm like, oh, here we go again. I'm like, okay. And you sent your picture. And I was like, oh, he's cute. But then you told me your age.

Anthony:

Liar.

Carlos:

I know, right?

Anthony:

Well, you know, I was 64 at the time. And I'm on a predominantly younger site.

Carlos:

Yes, you're wrong.

Anthony:

Yeah. So, you know, like...

Carlos:

I mean, to be fair, for your age...

Anthony:

Right, but I always figured, you know, once I send my picture, the age wouldn't matter. Because people say I don't look...

Carlos:

You don't. You don't look your age at all. You don't act your age either.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Right? You're very young, youthful.

Anthony:

Thanks.

Carlos:

You know, mid-60s.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

And I remember you said you were 58, and I was like, oh, okay. That's cool, you know.

Anthony:

64.

Carlos:

Yeah. Well, you were 63 going on 64.

Anthony:

You're right. You're right, yeah.

Carlos:

So, but no, I mean, it was a good day. It was a, you know.

Anthony:

Fun filled.

Carlos:

I thought it was just going to be a one-time thing for all of you.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

For all those gay listeners that understand how that goes, I just, you know, it surprised me because I heard back from you.

Anthony:

Yeah. The next day.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

Was it the next day?

Carlos:

Mm-hmm.

Anthony:

Yeah, it was.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

And then just kept coming back.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Just kept hanging out.

Anthony:

Yep.

Carlos:

Knock on wood.

Anthony:

I'm knocking on the door.

Carlos:

That's the table. I was gonna make a crass joke but i'm not gonna make it oh yeah um but anyway so that's that and now we're still together and yeah you know it's been fun so anyway dating disastrous so you were telling the listener about uh you know divorce i am still in the process i you know um it's gonna happen obviously yeah you know but i wanted different things and sometimes people grow apart yeah

Anthony:

you know i got caught cheating on my wife on a men's dating site. You know, I was in the toilet, and I did my duty. I left the toilet, left my phone there open, and my wife went in next. And I went to retrieve my phone, and it was in her hand. And I ripped it, and she looked at me with 15 eyes and tough to explain, very tough to explain. You know, and, you know, she stayed with me. I, you know, I forgot, I forget what I, what excuse I used because there was something like, did I leave my glasses on the dresser? Because I couldn't find my glasses. And, yeah, she bagged me. And for the longest time, I wouldn't be truthful with her. I said that it was, you know, just talking. And, you know, there was a lot more than that. And our relationship, you know, from there just went south. And I ended up, you know, still married, but I dated another girl. You know, I cheated on her with a female because, you know, there was nothing in the bedroom between us any longer.

Carlos:

I mean, do you blame her?

Anthony:

No, not at all.

Carlos:

That's...

Anthony:

Not at all.

Carlos:

Oh.

Anthony:

you know, and, you know, fast forward, you know, after my divorce, I ended up moving in with the girl that I was cheating on my ex with, and then she found out. Wow. So, I mean, yeah, that was tough, you know, because I met her when her, her kid was two years old, and, you know, he's like 13 now, so I kind of raised him.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

You know, he did have a dad in his life, but I like to say I did a lot more for him than his dad did.

Carlos:

I mean, you were there, for starters.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

You know?

Anthony:

Yeah, I, like, bought him his first car, big boy car seat, his first bike, his first soccer ball, his first uniform for basketball, all that good stuff, you know?

Carlos:

Like, so, from your first marriage, though, you have two children.

Anthony:

Yeah, yeah.

Carlos:

Right? A boy and a girl.

Anthony:

Boy and a girl, 38 and 36.

Carlos:

38 and 36?

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Wow. Okay.

Anthony:

Yes, that's right. Yep, good kids.

Carlos:

I thought they were younger, but I guess they're close to age as my youngest siblings.

Anthony:

No, good kids. And, you know, when the divorce, you know, it happens where, you know, I did a lot of lying and I lied to my kids. You know, and I cheated on my kids, you know, if you want to put it that way. And they grew bitter towards me. You know, things are different today. We're trying to work it out. I really haven't seen them.

Episode 1:

I do talk and text with them, but physically I see them.

Anthony:

I haven't seen them in a number of years. And I'm hoping to get, you know, back to them. Things will never be the same, you know, but they could get better.

Carlos:

I mean, it'll be different. It doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be bad, right?

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

I mean, wow, that's tough.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

So I knew that I was gay at a very young age, five. But for me, you know, culturally being Asian and Latino and Catholic, it was a rough upbringing. My dad was also military, you know.

Anthony:

Don't ask, don't tell.

Carlos:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was even before that.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

But, you know, I didn't come out to my family until probably my mid-30s.

Anthony:

Really?

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

I've got you beat, Carlos. Because I didn't come out until I was in my 60s. And I hid my sexuality from when I was 14 years old. So I buried my sexuality for 50 years.

Carlos:

Why did you do it?

Anthony:

Why did I bury it?

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

Well, you know, I grew up in Boston, you know, in the city, and, you know, predominantly Italian neighborhood. And, you know, I was a crazy, macho, tough kid. Didn't take no shit from anybody. And it just, that lifestyle would have definitely not fit in in my neighborhood or with my friends.

Carlos:

Wow. Okay.

Anthony:

You know, because the hatred back then was out there. You know, the gay bashing and, you know, it's not like it is today.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

You know.

Carlos:

There's still an element of that. I feel like it's happening again.

Anthony:

Yeah, there always will be.

Carlos:

It's getting crazy again.

Anthony:

You know, I asked myself, geez, did I come out at the wrong time? You know?

Carlos:

I mean, is there ever a good time to come out?

Anthony:

No, I know, I know. But it seems now that people are hating on the gays again.

Carlos:

They're hating on everyone.

Anthony:

Yeah. People hate themselves.

Carlos:

They're hating women too. It sucks. It's terrible.

Anthony:

The world is filled with hate.

Carlos:

No, we don't want to be like that. I mean, yes, you are, yes, I can't disagree with you there.

Anthony:

Crazy.

Carlos:

Let's try to be different.

Anthony:

You can't watch the news without, you know, seeing that somebody was robbed or beaten or killed or.

Carlos:

I mean, it wouldn't be news unless it was like that, right? But I know for me, yeah, like I said, it was cultural. It was scary. And like, you know, I didn't know, especially growing up with, you know, being taught that that was bad and already Catholicism because you're Catholic too, right? You're already going to hell.

Anthony:

You know, when I think of it, Carlos, when I think of it, there was, you know, growing up, there was only one queer guy in the neighborhood. They called him Bobby the Queer. And, you know, he dressed like a guy. but he walked and he was very feminine always dressed in black and he would smoke a cigarette with his elbow straight down and his hand under his elbow he was very feminine but nobody bothered him he was like a funny guy he was just funny he would talk to everybody's mothers and he was a neighborhood queer and he never bothered anybody. We did come to find out years later that my best friend, my best friend's older brother, Bobby was his boyfriend.

Carlos:

Oh, wow.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Okay.

Anthony:

Yeah. And Bobby, you know, he came over and had coffee with my mom. You know, he was in and out of everybody. He was just a neighborhood guy. You know, let's say if I was 12, he was probably 25.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

You know. But he always appeared to be old to me for some reason. You know.

Carlos:

I wonder why.

Anthony:

I don't know.

Carlos:

Strange.

Anthony:

Bobby the Queer.

Carlos:

Oh, come on. You know what? at least Bobby was true to himself.

Anthony:

Yeah. Back then, really.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

I mean, like, he was so femme, you couldn't hide it. You know? There was no, you know, like, there was probably a ton of gay guys around, but they hid it. Like me, you would never know.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

But he was flamboyant.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

You know?

Carlos:

It's interesting because, like, I tend to be more that sometimes, I think.

Anthony:

You could be.

Carlos:

Definitely more than you.

Anthony:

like i don't i don't think i appear to be at all no like in my my actions the way i talk uh no you know

Carlos:

know i mean record but that comes to show you know queer comes in every personality yeah so it doesn't matter um it's good it's nice because like you you don't criticize me for that i i got a lot of criticism for that from my family yeah before they even knew you know um some of my mannerisms and stuff but now I'm not, at 50 I don't give a fuck anymore now i'm like fuck it you don't like it i go like we don't need to, right? I could choose my family

Anthony:

there you go

Carlos:

right yeah um like i don't i don't need to worry about that and and i don't that hasn't changed anything for us you know so

Anthony:

Yeah. and i just met your family over the christmas uh Holiday.

Carlos:

I mean, you've seen my mom a few times, but now you've met my extended family, you know. And now I do things like watch football. Never understood it before, but because of you, I watch football.

Anthony:

That's okay. You say you watch it. You know, you appear to watch it, but you're trying.

Carlos:

I mean, you know, you put it on and you kind of take over the day, so I have to participate, right?

Anthony:

You sound like my ex.

Carlos:

here it goes so what else

Anthony:

oh but you know what we do have to share Carlos unbeknown to him he knew my wife and when I met him I had no idea that he knew my wife they worked together at a hospital on the North Shore of Boston together.

Carlos:

And I didn't know you then.

Anthony:

No.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

No. Yeah, that was...

Carlos:

And I didn't know you were...

Anthony:

How long ago did you work there?

Carlos:

Oh, maybe... That was in the beginning of my nursing career, so... You know?

Anthony:

Fifteen years ago?

Carlos:

Well, I started 13 years ago.

Anthony:

Okay.

Carlos:

Like, I haven't been there. Well, I was there in 2020, but...

Anthony:

So you knew my ex back then.

Carlos:

I didn't know you at all.

Anthony:

And she still doesn't know that I'm in a relationship with you.

Carlos:

I mean, I didn't break up the marriage.

Anthony:

No, no, you didn't. No, no, no, no, no.

Carlos:

I was also married myself at the time, so I can't, right? Like, I can't.

Anthony:

It's crazy. How can we put this across more clearer, what we're saying?

Carlos:

um that i we worked your wife and i worked together um you were married to her at the time yeah we you and i had never met no uh i was married yep right um but yeah we we like i didn't pursue you i didn't break up no no no you know what i'm saying like yeah I'm not looking for trouble. At my age, I'm not looking for fucking trouble.

Anthony:

But it's crazy how, you know, when I met you and you told me you were a nurse, and I said, my wife is a nurse. And I gave you her name and where she works, and you were like, I know her. You know, you knew her.

Carlos:

And I think she knew me too. So, I mean, did you see me in a photo you told me?

Anthony:

Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, we were beefing.

Carlos:

And it was after she had found out.

Anthony:

Yeah, after she found out I was gay. Or, you know, when I came out. And I said, you're probably fucking him, too. And I pointed to your picture. God. And, you know, she's going to remember that. And she's going to say, you thought I was fucking him. Imagine.

Carlos:

I don't know if there's some nurse code or some bro code. There's no girl code. I don't know, man. That's, I mean, we were not close like that. I didn't stay there that long. I left after two years to go travel nurse.

Anthony:

Yeah, so what we're talking about is I was married to my ex, and Carla worked with her, we'll say, 12 years ago. So we fast forward to 2023 when I met Carlos. He had no idea who I was.

Carlos:

Well, 2024.

Anthony:

Yeah, he had no idea who I was and who my wife was until I told him.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

And it's just, it's going to be mind-blowing for her.

Carlos:

I mean, all I know is that when we met, I found you attractive. And when we met, I felt it from you too. Like I felt something there. And I was like, oh, okay.

Anthony:

Chemistry.

Carlos:

Yes.

Anthony:

Maybe a little bit more than chemistry.

Carlos:

There was something there And I was like, oh, this is cool, you know?

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

But I felt kind of guilty, though, because, like, I had just separated from my marriage after six. That was, like, maybe six months before that.

Anthony:

Me too, with my girl.

Carlos:

You know? And, like, the thing is, like, you know, my ex, you know, not, not a bad guy, you know? We had our issues, but, you know, it wasn't, you know, we didn't always have bad times, you know? We just wanted different things.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

I know for me, like, I was changing. You know, I went through a huge weight loss. You know, I started to, like, I guess, wanted to take care of myself and try to be, you know, live a little.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

but um why not but my ex and i we just we just we just didn't have it anymore yeah you know and sometimes i often wonder like did we ever i don't know like i like i would like to think that I did us both a favor because he's doing great right now. (Anthony) Good, who broke off with who? I was the one who really made the decision um but you know but i um excuse me i just had to i just didn't want to burp into the mic. (Anthony) Why not? because it's gross. Um i made the decision because i i don't know i i we weren't physically attracted to each other anymore yeah Like, I love them like I love a friend, you know, or sibling or, but we weren't in love. There was not a, there was not a sexual relationship anymore. And I want, I want that. Right. Like, and at the time it was like 49, 48, 49, you know? So yeah, 48. And yeah, I just thought that, you know, there has to be more to this. yeah right we're still and we're still young enough you know i wanted to enjoy life more and i just wasn't you know um i'm and i feel sad about it sometimes because you know i think it's more because like is he okay because i want him to be okay and and you know found out that he's doing great. (Anthony) He'll survive. (Carlos) Yeah, I mean we all do, you know? Um, but you know, I want, I want what's best for him, you know? And, and I remember a conversation that we had, I'm like, I'm like, why do you want this? You know, you should want something better than me.

Anthony:

And he's not only is he out of your life, but he's out of the country. (Carlos) Yeah. Yeah. He's in England. Yeah. (Carlos) So, you know, I mean, he's a citizen here, so he can come back anytime he wants, but I think that is why he married you.

Carlos:

No, stop.

Anthony:

Oh, come on.

Carlos:

No, I don't think that's the case at all.

Anthony:

You don't think?

Carlos:

No.

Anthony:

Maybe.

Carlos:

We were together like 15 years, man.

Anthony:

What, before?

Carlos:

Yeah, he didn't have to stay that long with me. I mean, for fuck's sake, it's just been like, okay, five years, I'm out!

Anthony:

I just thought I would throw that in there.

Carlos:

No, it wasn't like that.

Anthony:

How to put some content in there.

Carlos:

No, don't be a jerk. but anyway no i don't think it had anything to do with that but anyway meeting you i was just like okay this is i felt guilty it happened quick you know i was because quite frankly after spending that time trying to find a date and go out with people and meet people it was just a disaster i fucking hated that so much like i it was just not a good time for me right? (Anthony) It's time consuming! it is and it took a lot for my day and then trying to make plans with people and then they like call off plans and they're like nope just kidding do you have time i was like no i just set up another day like like what are you doing yeah yeah like uh you know you go out on a date they're

Anthony:

Yeah yeah like uh you know you go out on a date they're just looking for a dinner and they you know they say goodbye after their last sip of wine or their

Carlos:

or they just want to lay yeah like and which i was fine with too but whatever you know um i don't know but i mean it it also got a little bit scary because like like during my marriage i didn't mess around i never went out of the marriage you know i

Anthony:

you never left the house

Carlos:

I worked a lot yeah that's when the only time i left right? The pandemic happened, I was always at work, you know? i didn't you, know? And i just kept doing that and I've always been that person. I like to keep myself busy, you know, hence the two jobs right now, right? And then trying to fit this in somehow. But I just kept myself so busy that I just didn't notice.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Right? I didn't notice I had let myself go. And maybe that too, you know, my ex probably was like, oh, of course I don't want to touch that guy. Look at him. You know? I don't blame him.

Anthony:

That's shallow.

Carlos:

But it's not, though, because if you don't care for yourself and, like, you know, try a little bit, make an effort to be attractive to your other half, then, like, what's...

Anthony:

Yeah, but, you know, you didn't care either.

Carlos:

But that conveys something.

Anthony:

Well...

Carlos:

Right? Like, I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe someone else can correct my thinking. But, you know, it's... There was a little bit of guilt there because I thought it was happening too soon. But then I was like, you know, my marriage was already dead, I guess is the best way to put it. You know, like there hadn't been any intimacy for a long time, you know. So, yeah, you know, I put myself out there. I started to, you know, have fun. But it was scary because people were not, like I said, you know, I did it. It wasn't these dating apps. It was more like you met people out. You know?

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

That changed, okay? And the other things that changed, and I remember giving a lecture about HIV in one of my semesters here, you know, when I was teaching, or where I am still a teacher, one of the students were informing me about PrEP. And I was like, oh, I don't know anything about that, you know, because I just never paid attention, right? I wasn't having sex, you know. But then, like, with the introduction of PrEP, nobody wears condoms anymore. And that freaked me out, right, because I grew up in an era where people were dying from HIV and AIDS.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Or dying from AIDS, you know. And HIV was a scary thing to get, right?

Anthony:

Yeah, no doubt.

Carlos:

You know, so, and now they were like, oh, no, we could, you know, we can do without this. And I'm like, no, because, you know, because, like, that protects you from HIV, right?

Anthony:

But there's still STDs.

Carlos:

There's gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis.

Anthony:

There's countless.

Carlos:

Yeah, right. So, and, you know, like syphilis being the cousins to gonorrhea and chlamydia, which are like sisters. You know? Yeah, I know.

Anthony:

Family tree of STDs.

Carlos:

I mean, if you have one, you have the fucking other one, usually. I mean, they used to treat for both, but nowadays they'll test for both and treat you for one, not both, but it depends.

Anthony:

What is the treatment?

Carlos:

antibiotics so it changes and I forget I think you can use like oh it doesn't matter it's not that kind of podcast I mean you can use like you know azithromycin for chlamydia like you know

Anthony:

you know if you leave it alone it'll leave you alone

Carlos:

that's a cephalosporin for gonorrhea but anyway it doesn't matter

Anthony:

that keeps on giving

Carlos:

but that's that's the herp

Anthony:

herpes

Carlos:

so but yeah that's a different podcast you know if I had to talk about that I would brush up on the topic before I go on and record about it and then I'm sure somebody will get online and correct me I hope people do because I'm trying to learn.

Anthony:

We are not Einsteins.

Carlos:

No, we are not masters at anything. That's kind of how we're going with this.

Anthony:

We're sitting at a kitchen table with two microphones, a square box that we plug the microphones in that kind of controls the volume.

Carlos:

Yeah, one day we'll have this on video.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Right now, I just need to see if this works.

Anthony:

Hopefully it does.

Carlos:

Hopefully it does.

Anthony:

So let's talk a little about, like, when we end this podcast.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

It's being recorded right now on this black box on the table. And then you download that onto the computer.

Carlos:

And I got to edit it.

Anthony:

Okay, you got to edit it.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

And then we put it out there.

Carlos:

Yep. Well, I have to get it to show.

Anthony:

And then how are people going to find our podcast?

Carlos:

Well, I don't know. I'm going to pay a service to deal with that. I'm still trying to work that one out.

Anthony:

Ah, okay.

Carlos:

And I'm trying to work out the kinks of getting the noises out and the echoes. And, you know, we're probably going to have to get some rugs because the hardwood is bouncing off the floor. The sound is bouncing off the floor, the windows. I mean, you name it.

Anthony:

Can you imagine if we still had the dog the way she used to breathe?

Carlos:

Oh, Coco. Coco left us.

Anthony:

We just lost our dog before Christmas.

Carlos:

Thanksgiving.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

A couple days before. I mean, she was, I guess she was a couple months shy of 17.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

I think. Yeah.

Anthony:

Beautiful dog.

Carlos:

Beautiful girl. You know. Anyway, please join us for upcoming conversations. You know, we're going to try to do this weekly. Again, we're not experts. I need to still figure out this bullshit with editing. But we'd love to hear from you.

Anthony:

And have a great night, folks.

Carlos:

Have a good day. Thanks.

Anthony:

The long way out.

Carlos:

All right, that's a wrap. That is a wrap.

Head Shot

Anthony DeLisi

Co-host
Head Shot

Carlos Edwards-Diaz

Co-host