The Long Way Out

Episode 3: Strong Truths, Stronger Opinions

• Anthony DeLisi & Carlos Edwards-Diaz • Season 1 • Episode 3

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0:00 | 1:09:42

Recorded on January 13, 2026. 

LGBTQ culture shock, TV, movies and catching up to the culture.  Our age difference, how we grew up, PDA, Medicare and health.  LGBTQ kids, relatives.  News on our minds (Iran, state of healthcare, NYC nurses' strike, football (GO PATS!!!), trans in sports.

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Music: Stick The Landing by Everet Almond

Carlos:

Okay, we're live.

Anthony:

We're live.

Carlos:

Alright.

Anthony:

Hey, good evening.

Carlos:

Good evening.

Anthony:

What's going on?

Carlos:

You know, lots of stuff going on in the world.

Anthony:

What was your name again?

Carlos:

It's Carlos.

Anthony:

Hey, Carlos. I'm Anthony. Hi.

Carlos:

Hey. Ha ha.

Anthony:

I'm Anthony. Welcome aboard. Welcome to another episode of Hey, Let's Spit It Out! The Long Way Out.

Carlos:

I swear you love that.

Anthony:

Well, you know, you can, the word long.

Carlos:

You can play with it.

Anthony:

You could, you know, you can express it.

Carlos:

Yes, yes. So in our last episode, we did some clarifying, but we got a nice little conversation there about our politics and our differences, and that can continue.

Anthony:

Yeah, that could.

Carlos:

And we can also, I think what we wanted to talk about last time too was some more about the culture shock of you coming out and now seeing more LGBTQ themed things? I don't know. What do you think?

Anthony:

Yeah, well, you know, I've always been aware but it definitely heightened my awareness now because I'm part of the team.

Carlos:

Wow.

Anthony:

Did you hear that race car go by?

Carlos:

Why do they have to do that? It's still a Honda.

Anthony:

No matter what you do to it, it's still a Civic.

Carlos:

Right? anyway um yeah so some of the culture shock that you had i don't know did you have any because i we did i guess i was trying to have you watch some movies that i saw before and (Anthony) yeah yeah you

Anthony:

you were trying to uh you know influence me a little a little further (Carlos) not influence more educate Fed-ucate? (Carlos) Educate. (Anthony) oh yeah that's a new word "Fed-ucate", feeding me knowledge Fed-ucate. (Carlos) oh okay that's clever wow well educate you on cinema and music i guess i i don't

Carlos:

know so my first attempt i mean because you have this tendency to just fall asleep while watching TV. It doesn't matter what I watch. (Anthony) I always have. You know, I always have. I get comfortable

Anthony:

and I just, I go, I go out, you know, even in the movies, I cannot sit in a theater without falling asleep. (Carlos) No, that's so funny because I, at one point I was like, is he narcoleptic?

Carlos:

Like, do you have narcolepsy? You just kind of go out? (Anthony) That's it. No, I don't just go out. I just

Anthony:

get comfortable. And you know, it doesn't, doesn't hurt that I'm getting a little older and you know, I can't stay awake like you young, like you youngins.

Carlos:

You just said that this is something that you always did. What are you talking about?

Anthony:

Always did what?

Carlos:

You always fell asleep, regardless.

Anthony:

Oh, yeah, you're right. Wow, what a contradiction that was. I guess I was wrong.

Carlos:

It doesn't matter. But anyway, one of the things, we watched a couple of things recently. That TV show, Heated Rivalry, right?

Anthony:

With the athletes, yeah.

Carlos:

Yeah. And then one of the things that you said, you were like, oh, my God, hockey players must hate this. Why?

Anthony:

Well, you know, they're tough. You know, they fight. They're checking. They're, you know, bumping each other around. Very masculine sport, dangerous sport, fast sport, you know.

Carlos:

But so what?

Anthony:

No, well, I'm just saying.

Carlos:

They're still hockey players.

Anthony:

They are.

Carlos:

Right?

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

I don't know. did any of that stuff resonate with you at all? Did you feel like, oh, wow, I can see why they like each other?

Anthony:

Well, there was an attraction, obviously.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

You know? I can't think of anything in particular, but it was a good movie.

Carlos:

Well, it was a TV show.

Anthony:

It was a show, yeah.

Carlos:

But you fell asleep during a lot of, by the way. Because the end of it was really nice.

Anthony:

Well, you know, I just have to say, I was interested. I just fell asleep.

Carlos:

I know. And I went on. So I started watching shows without you now.

Anthony:

Well, you fall asleep too because sometimes I wake up and you're sleeping.

Carlos:

Oh, yeah. Because I get comfortable and I don't sleep a lot.

Anthony:

Well, that's true too.

Carlos:

But anyway, so we saw that where it was like hyper-masculine. Well, I wouldn't say hyper-masculine, but just, well, maybe we could say hyper-masculine because it's hockey and I don't play hockey, you know. But the other thing I wanted you to try to watch was The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

Anthony:

Funky.

Carlos:

I thought it was a fun movie when I saw it.

Anthony:

It was.

Carlos:

30 years ago, over 30 years ago when I watched it. Or was it? Maybe it wasn't that long ago. Close to it. But what did you think about that?

Anthony:

You know, to be honest with you, I fell asleep.

Carlos:

You fell asleep again. fucker that's what i'm saying (Anthony) i know i know right (Carlos) i just thought that it was you know it was more fun to watch it this time around i guess when i was.... (Anthony) you knew what to look for this

Anthony:

time (Carlos) kind of because i hadn't seen it in so long but you know the actors that were in it

Carlos:

are all straight actors you know and i don't know if the actors in the other show are straight too i think they might be but i i didn't dig that deep yeah (Anthony) well you know you did mention that

Anthony:

sequel was coming out so i i have to watch and understand the first one before watching the next one. (Carlos) i didn't know

Carlos:

there was a sequel coming out when i until i started looking up i started to look up the actors and what they did because i was trying to show you that Guy Pierce (Anthony) isn't he deceased now? no no no no that's Terrence Stamp (Anthony) okay i know that you did mention that one of the actors was deceased. That was Terrence Stamp who died over the summer. (Anthony) How old was he? (Carlos) I think he was in his mid 80s if not late 80s really and because he did that uh the first Priscilla movie when he was in his 50s yeah and he played the trans character. (Anthony) Wow! (Carlos) So, very much ahead of its time, the movie was, or not, but i think compared to like then, in the 90s and what we see now, you know? Because now you have that oh i don't want to mention this person this Caitlin Jenner bitch i don't know why that Caitlin Jenner person.... (Anthony) Gold medalist! (Carlos) Yeah, when she was a male right um but but my issue with, my beef with her right now is that she's very MAGA, and you know everything that that camp represents is pretty much against everything that she represents, right? So I don't understand. Like you, and I say this all the time, that people... You vote for these policies doesn't make you immune to these policies, right? (Anthony) Right. (Carlos) So they're coming for her one day. (Anthony) Oh yeah whether she likes it or not. (Anthony) Guns drawn. (Carlos) Well yeah fuck her. (Anthony) Yep! (Carlos) But anyway, um, so yeah I was excited that there was a sequel to the movie and I was trying to show you Guy Pierce because Guy Pierce was in Memento, right? And then we were watching that other show last night, Mare of East Town, which I've been trying to watch for years. And then finally I was like, oh, I'm going to watch it. And I'm like, oh, look, do you recognize that guy?

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

And you were like, no. And I was like, that's the one from the Priscilla movie.

Anthony:

I put two and two together. But, you know, he looks so much different, you know?

Carlos:

Well, he's older now, right? It's 30 years later, you know, and he's going to be in the sequel. which I'm excited about because I really want to see how they tackle that now, because of all the changes in the world. Unfortunately, I feel a lot of those changes are getting dialed back given what's happening with this administration. (Anthony) Right. (Carlos) You know? So it's, it's you know, it'll be you know scary to see. (Anthony) Hey wouldn't it be funny if Donald Trump's son Barron came out of

Anthony:

the closet as a gay guy? (Carlos) I don't know that... See that's the thing, I don't want people to suffer

Carlos:

from the stupidity that's happening right now, you know? Would it be like karma? Probably. You know? But it's... I still wouldn't want him to have a hard time because of it. (Anthony) Right, right. Like I don't wish that on anyone, because it's bullshit. (Anthony) Yeah. (Carlos) Do you know what i'm saying? (Anthony) Um, you can't

Anthony:

Condemn him for his dad's...

Carlos:

Yeah, for his mistakes.

Anthony:

Yeah, absolutely.

Carlos:

But that's never changed anything before. Wasn't it Cheney? His daughter came out as a lesbian, and still he went along with his fuckery, right? Didn't support her at all, you know? So I don't know. It shouldn't be an issue, and they're making this non-issue into an issue, okay? um like i guess i wanted to go over like the whole gay culture shock thing because i'm not i don't think i'm the best representative to show you like, oh this is how it is to be gay. (Anthony) You're doing a good

Anthony:

job. (Carlos) I'm just like, you know? I had to google, like, oh what's gay cinema look like? And like list these

Carlos:

movies and that's why priscilla came up. And i was like, oh let me let me show you that. But everyone at work was like, hey Carlos? Have you seen Heated Rivalry yet? And i was like, what what is this? I don't know what that is. Why does everybody keep asking me? And then when i finally put it on i was like, Oh! Okay! Now I get it. (Anthony) There you go! (Carlos) You know? But I'm glad that people started asking me about it towards the end of the season because i hate waiting for the episodes. I like to just you know, binge through my shows. (Anthony) How many episodes are there? (Carlos) There's only six. (Anthony) Six? (Carlos) Yeah so it was a short season, but it got, it got to, it got to where it needed to get. And it was a good season. And I hope more is coming. I think that would be nice to see how they progress with it. But anyway, I don't think I'm a great representative. Um, because I was, I was never really wrapped into that culture that much. Because, I guess for me, it was out of fear and I didn't want to be or trying not to, I guess, associate myself with it too much, you know? Because I was afraid. And I think there was a lot of shame there, you know, for me. (Anthony) Right. (Carlos) Because like I said, I wasn't out to my family at that time, didn't come out till later to everyone. You know, I did come out to some people, obviously, and I still, I still lived the life of a gay man. You know, I had relationships, I had boyfriends, you know. (Anthony) Well, you know, I think you're a great

Anthony:

advocate because you know you're guiding me through this because it's all brand new to me i am naive to so much of the uh you know the gay world i really am (Carlos) Oh i i'm not.... (Anthony) I'm kind of lost in it still. (Carlos) Yeah and I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do. (Anthony) Really? (Carlos) I do. I don't know because

Carlos:

i'm not that involved. I didn't, I didn't attend many Pride parades. I didn't attend, I'm not involved in any gay committees or communities, you know? Like, we could be more involved, you know. It would be kind of cool to do that, right? I've gone out to clubs because I enjoy nightlife. I like to go out dancing. I think it would be great to take you out to see for yourself what it's like.

Anthony:

Oh, yeah, I would appreciate that.

Carlos:

You know, and plus I'd like to show you off.

Anthony:

We'd have to go to a club where I would fit in. I don't want to go to a bunch of kids, 23, 24 years old. You know what I mean?

Carlos:

That's what they're all like.

Anthony:

Are they all like that?

Carlos:

I think they are.

Anthony:

Really?

Carlos:

There's a sprinkling of us in there.

Anthony:

Wow. Okay. I used a little sprinkle.

Carlos:

Because for me, the way I remember it, if you are a certain age, you're going to get a lot of attention. You're going to have a lot of fun. The world is your oyster. You hit 30 and you're fucking dead. You're dead in the gay world already. You're already an old queen.

Anthony:

So I'm going to be 65. What am I? A dinosaur?

Carlos:

Yeah, I think we're both dinosaurs at this point. But it would be cool to go see for yourself. I'd like you to go see it and have a good time.

Anthony:

I would definitely like to see what all the hoopla is about.

Carlos:

And so one of the things that also came up for us was age differences.

Anthony:

Hey, let me just stop you for a second.

Carlos:

Yeah, of course.

Anthony:

A few years back, when I was married, I went to P-Town, to Provincetown.

Carlos:

Okay.

Anthony:

With my wife and another couple. And I don't remember for the life of me, I don't remember the name of the bar, but it was mobbed. It was packed with, you know, it was a gay club, obviously. Provincetown, it was a gay club, but it was packed. And that was the first time I ever stepped foot into anything gay.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

And, you know, what I remember clearly, and it stuck out to me, was there was this one massive dude. He was jacked. And he had going across his chest, huge, across his chest and around his ribs to his back, the Marine Corps logo. I was like, whoa. I wouldn't fuck with that dude.

Carlos:

No.

Anthony:

You know what I mean?

Carlos:

Absolutely.

Anthony:

I was like, wow. Can you imagine what that guy's going through being a gay guy? Who knows if he was out or not?

Carlos:

When was that?

Anthony:

Oh, God. It had to be in the late 90s.

Carlos:

Oh, wow. Okay.

Anthony:

No, no, no. Early 90s because I didn't have a kid yet. My first child was born in 89, so it was prior.

Carlos:

Okay. Oh, so it was like in the 80s?

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Wow. Okay. That's great.

Anthony:

But he was a very masculine dude and just like watching him dance. and like his physique was intense i mean you know he had a beautiful body you know he did! (Carlos) You liked what you saw. (Anthony) He looked good. He looked good but, you know, I didn't.... I liked what i seen but, i i didn't like, think of him sexually. You know? i really didn't. (Carlos) Oh, okay so that's

Carlos:

interesting. So the 80s? (Anthony) Right. (Carlos) So...growing up, okay, because there's an age difference between us you know our experiences are very different. So you pretty much grew up in the 70s, in the early 80s

Anthony:

80s right. (Carlos) Um and i was 80s, 90s you know? Um do you remember...? Because I remember the last episode you

Carlos:

talked about, or the first episode, you talked about Bobby in your neighborhood. You know? Um Bobby

Anthony:

Bobby the Queer! (Carlos) I don't...just...can we just call him Bobby? (Anthony) Okay but that's what his name was in the neighborhood

Carlos:

But that's what i'm saying, like these days it's not nice... (Anthony) Right, right) (Carlos) Say it's Bobby. (Anthony) See i'm still

Anthony:

learning right? (Carlos) like but anyway, with Bobby right? That was one of your.... When was that the 70s? (Anthony) Yeah.

Carlos:

Okay. So what was...what was...? And you said, there was a lot of hate during that time. A lot of gay bashing.

Anthony:

Absolutely. Yeah. (Carlos) What was what was it like in the 80s? (Anthony) You know. It was just, that, um...you know? You know what? If you were like uh...a pussy, you know? Like a weakling. You were called a faggot. Whether you were or not. You know everybody was a fucking faggot, okay. You know, in a derogatory way, you know? labeling you as a faggot. You know? (Carlos) So being gay was being weak. (Anthony) Yeah. (Carlos) That's terrible. (Anthony) It is. Yeah.

Carlos:

That's kind of how I grew up.

Anthony:

You were dainty.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

Weak. Yeah.

Carlos:

Yeah. So.

Anthony:

Yeah. You were feminine. You were girlish.

Carlos:

Yeah. Yeah.

Anthony:

But you want to know something?

Carlos:

Mm-hmm.

Anthony:

You know, we had a teen center in East Boston, the Jefferies Point Neighborhood Center. And there was a, you know, back then they weren't dykes. They were tomboys.

Carlos:

Mm-hmm.

Anthony:

And we had a tomboy in the neighborhood. Her name was Debbie. And she was incredible. Like in baseball, hockey, football. We would play in the gym, play football, and tackle each other on the floors, you know, on the hardwood floors. And on the sides, you know, on the walls, there were steel girders holding this gymnasium up. And there were no padding on there. And, like, you know, you were still open game to be tackled near those girders. and this girl, man, she was rough and tumble. She was always one of the first ones to be picked when we were chinging up for sides.

Carlos:

Oh, so she held her own.

Anthony:

She really did. She really did. And she dished out, so nobody fucked with her.

Carlos:

Good. They shouldn't. She can play, right?

Anthony:

But you know something? Everybody, because she was a girl, I can remember some of the guys trying to hurt her more. You know, trying to hurt her more. just because she was a girl wanted to see her cry. (Carlos) Oh yeah. (Anthony) If she would cry, you know? (Carlos) Those

Carlos:

fucking assholes. Yeah that's a true definition of a fucking pussy. (Anthony) Yeah, yep! (Carlos) Actually that might be insulting women's vaginas. (Anthony) Yeah right, no seriously! (Carlos) But what the fuck man. Yeah that's not cool. (Anthony) I haven't seen her

Anthony:

in years. I wonder what she's like today. (Carlos) Probably still kicking ass and taking names, right? (Anthony) Yeah! So 60s, yeah. (Carlos) So like...so that was 80s, right? Yeah okay... (Anthony) Oh no! That was that was in the 70s. (Carlos) In the

Carlos:

70s? Wow...! (Anthony) That was in the 70s. Yeah, that was 76, 77, around there. (Carlos) Wow! Okay. Did you have any crushes? That you had secretly on.... (Anthony) On men? (Carlos) Yeah. (Anthoy) No. No. Not really. (Carlos) No? Really no? Not any celebrities? Not in the 70s or of the 80s? (Anthony) But you know something? I remember

Anthony:

somebody asking me, you know, maybe four or five years ago, Anthony, you know, two gay guys were asking me. You know, two gay guys that I worked with. And they were like, Anthony, if you were gay, who would you pick as your partner? I said The Rock.

Carlos:

Really? I did.

Anthony:

The Rock. I said The Rock.

Carlos:

Damn. Okay. Wow.

Anthony:

Imagine?

Carlos:

That's wild.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

I don't look anything like him.

Anthony:

You know, years ago, people did say that I looked like a young Rock when, you know, when I'm tanned.

Carlos:

Yes.

Anthony:

I did have people, you know, say that to me.

Carlos:

Oh, that's a good compliment then.

Anthony:

The face, not the body. Maybe the haircut. Who knows?

Carlos:

Wow. So in the 80s, when I knew, I had like secret crushes on people like, let me see.

Anthony:

Who?

Carlos:

Oh, yeah. Oh. George Michael.

Anthony:

Really?

Carlos:

Yeah. George Michael. Probably the best voice ever in the industry.

Anthony:

Yeah. He was great.

Carlos:

Good looking, dude.

Anthony:

Really was.

Carlos:

But then I was like, I remember, you know, watching those videos. Wake me up...before you go go....

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

And I'm like thinking, so nobody knew he was gay then?

Anthony:

Well, I'm sure.

Carlos:

You know, maybe he's... because he's European, because he's British or English, right? That he got a pass and a musician at the same time. And it was a poppy song.

Anthony:

Yeah. You know what's crazy is I've heard it time and time again. I've heard girls and women say that all the good looking guys gay. (Carlos) Well I think a lot of us are really good looking. (Anthony) Yeah! No, but i've heard, i've heard that time and time again. You know? Oh he's gay, yeah. I know, right? All the good looking guys are gay

Carlos:

they probably made, make better husbands for them too. (Anthony) Probably. (Carlos) Right? Because... (Anthony) well i don't know but

Anthony:

look at me in the closet for 50 years. I was a good husband until, you know, she found out you know?

Carlos:

Yeah, yeah, of course. I think because of the way I, you know, growing up, you know, having to hide everything, that my...this is why I said I'm probably not the best representative because I didn't really get to get involved in Pride activities too much because there was just so much shame involved, I guess. And I didn't like that I had to keep hiding.

Anthony:

Yeah, you know, I've noticed with you, You are one to avoid conflict.

Carlos:

Am I?

Anthony:

You are, yeah. I bring it on.

Carlos:

No, I think I've done my share of bringing it on.

Anthony:

No, but you avoid, you're a very gentle, calm, don't do that type of guy.

Carlos:

I think that's the Asian in me, though, where I don't want to rock the boat if I don't need to. However, if it came down to something that was, you know, like, let's say you were in danger or something because people found out that we're together. Like, I don't know where this would happen in this country. Well, I'm sure there are places. But, you know, yeah, you better believe I'm going to fucking get up and fight. Like, I'm not going to sit down on that shit.

Anthony:

Absolutely.

Carlos:

You know what I'm saying?

Anthony:

Right.

Carlos:

then i'll lose my shit and now everybody back the fuck up yeah you know um but given that like i i don't, i don't, maybe because, you know, i grew up more culturally asian that i don't do things like public displays of affection, you know? I don't do things like go to Pride parades and you know? So i never knew if it was because i was ashamed, because i grew up more Asian or it's a combination of both

Anthony:

Right. Now, I'm the opposite because I grew up Italian and all we do is hug and kiss. You know, I've kissed a ton of men, Italian style. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You know, we don't shake hands. We hug and kiss. (Carlos) Yeah. Yeah. (Anthony) Yeah. So. But you know what was weird? When we would go somewhere and and, you know, you'd meet a friend somewhere. And, you know, let's say we're in a bar or a restaurant and they were meeting us there. And it was a place that, you know, far from our neighborhood. And they would come in and I'd, you know, get up and, you know, hey, and give them a hug and a kiss. And people would look at you like, oh, they must be Italian.

Carlos:

Oh, they're not gay.

Anthony:

Yeah, they must be Italian.

Carlos:

Yeah. So, I mean, if they see us do that now.

Anthony:

Oh, right from the rip. Because you look gay.

Carlos:

What? What does that mean?

Anthony:

No, you have...you know you look gay. (Carlos) I exude gayness. Yeah. You reek gay. (Carlos) What the hell? No, I mean, come on.

Carlos:

I mean, I'm not offended by that. I am gay.

Anthony:

Your actions, your voice, you have, you know.

Carlos:

I have an intonation in my voice?

Anthony:

I would say so.

Carlos:

Oh, okay. That's good to know.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Yes. I'm not offended by it.

Anthony:

I'm not trying to offend.

Carlos:

You know, but I'm less ashamed now because I'm out and, you know, and I'm trying to like, I guess, figure things out. And, you know, it's nice as a couple that we can do these things together and not like care. You know what I'm saying?

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

So it'll be nice. But still, the public displays of affection still kind of make me a little bit uneasy.

Anthony:

Yeah. (Carlos) You know, i'm still and again...that has... and i guess i was like that when i dated girls too

Carlos:

i didn't like to do that in public. (Anthony) Yeah you know i still find it a little awkward um like the other

Anthony:

day we were in trader joe's and um you called me baby, you know what i mean? (Carlos) I didn't even realize Yeah, yeah. I find that, you know, I was like, hmm. I guess I'm, you know, I am, you call it, you say it to me all the time.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

But it just, it felt a little weird in public. I wasn't bothered by it, but, you know, I'm like, well, it's me now. I mean, you know, I'm in a relationship with a man and, you know, if he wants to call me baby wherever we are.

Carlos:

I didn't realize I did that because that's, I guess I'm getting comfortable.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Or not give a shit.

Anthony:

Right. Right.

Carlos:

You know, plus this is Massachusetts.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

like be hard pressed to find someone to be like...you know start bashing us because i think other people would be like what the fuck's happening here? Right? (Anthony) Yeah. (Carlos) cut that shit out right now right so but um the age gap uh we were talking about.... (Anthony) What are we? 15 years? we are 15 years

Anthony:

Dang.... (Carlos) but you're turning 65. (Anthony) Yeah, right. Um holy shit! (Carlos) I know.... (Anthony) i'm getting, i'm getting this 65 year old mail. Holy shit! (Carlos) Oh the big the big kicker, when you got the bill from Medicare, from the government

Carlos:

really gotta pay your premiums now. (Anthony) All of a sudden you got a bill--i didn't even get a card yet and

Anthony:

they're billing me. (Carlos) Well, i mean, technically you don't kick in until next month. (Anthony) Yeah....

Carlos:

because that's your birthday month right? (Anthony) So, you know i never knew that you had to pay for medicare I didn't either. What a bunch of fuckery.

Anthony:

I thought that, you know, that we put into the system all these years. And, you know, when you turn 65, you get Social Security and you get Medicare. You know, and I didn't know that you had to pay $208 a month.

Carlos:

Yeah. Yeah. But that's for Medicare Part B. I learned a lot because I think I spent the whole fucking afternoon going through their website trying to understand how the fuck this worked.

Anthony:

And I'm insured in work. you know i have blue cross blue shield and work so um i'm trying to find what's better to do um you know stay with blue cross blue shield or go with the medicare and we did a little research and i think it's uh you save some money with medicare. (Carlos) And you can probably get covered for more

Carlos:

stuff (Anthony) Yeah, yeah. (Carlos) You know? Um, so what i learned from that was...so everyone at some point is going to be covered for Medicare Part A. That's your hospital insurance.

Anthony:

Right.

Carlos:

Right? And then you have your Medicare Part B, and that's your doctor's insurance.

Anthony:

Right.

Carlos:

To go to the doctor's office. And that's the part that you have to pay for.

Anthony:

And then you have the plus with the dental and the vision.

Carlos:

Yes. Like the advantage, I think they call it. And you still need to sign up for a fucking drug plan.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Why are there so many? Just fucking have one for fuck's sake. It's ridiculous.

Anthony:

I don't know how some of these elderly, if you're not computer savvy or if you don't understand and you're getting this stuff in the mailman, you get a lot of mail.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

And a lot of it is...

Carlos:

And email too. What the fuck?

Anthony:

It's insane. It's insane.

Carlos:

It took me so long to figure that out. And then we finally arrived to the decision that it's probably better for you to take this coverage.

Anthony:

Right.

Carlos:

But I don't understand why in America that you need to worry about this stuff when you hit a certain age.

Anthony:

Right. Right.

Carlos:

So you're supposed to stop fucking working.

Anthony:

Yeah. Right.

Carlos:

So how are you supposed to pay for that? You know, and then I arrived to the to the I guess the conclusion that, yeah, this is where you have to have a 401k or 403b.

Anthony:

But, you know, with the Medicare, you know, if you're collecting Social Security, they take it right out.

Carlos:

Oh, yeah. They rip it right out of you before you get anything.

Anthony:

So it comes out of that automatically.

Carlos:

But you still need retirement funds.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Because fucking Social Security ain't going to pay for fuck all. It's going to pay for fuck all.

Anthony:

Buy a pack of gum.

Carlos:

Right?

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

It's not going to cover shit, you know? And it's so offensive. So for all you younger listeners, if there's any listeners, um, save money, put up money aside. Like I'm glad that I did that. I wish I would have done it more so. Um, I didn't wise enough to like saving until probably in my thirties, my late thirties into my forties. Um, but even then I still don't have enough to retire. And so my plan is to never retire, you know? Um, so I don't know what I'm going to do, but, and. we shouldn't have this problem, right? (Anthony) Right. (Carlos) This shouldn't be a problem for someone who's supposed to be enjoying their golden years. (Anthony) Yeah you're getting into the chill life and you're worrying

Anthony:

yourself fucking sick like how am i gonna do this how am i not gonna get sick. (Carlos) You're so lucky that

Carlos:

you're not on any medications. (Anthony) Thank god! (Carlos) You don't have any chronic illnesses knock on wood. (Anthony) Yeah right um but but you never know. (Anthony) Right. (Carlos) And that's the thing. (Anthony) Yeah. (Carlos) you just, you just have to have coverage and the thing is...like the other beauty of taking medicare over your job's insurance, is that if you decided that you didn't want to do your job anymore you can go to another job and not have to worry about insurance. Wouldn't that be a beautiful thing? yeah if everybody had that option, if medicare was available to everyone. (Anthony) Yeah. right. (Carlos) So they didn't have to keep a shitty fucking job so they had fucking health benefits, you know what i'm saying? Like i mean there should be a way that it's available, made available to everyone. (Anthony) The way it is

Anthony: right now:

you're fucked if you do and you're fucked if you don't. (Carlos) It's so true though. Really it's so

Carlos:

crazy. But like i said you shouldn't have to worry and if medicare was available to everybody they wouldn't have to like worry about good coverage, right? Like there are, you know, supposedly there are subsidies to help people but those got taken away recently with um the this administration. Hopefully uh the votes will come in and turn that around. Um i haven't looked up to see if that happened yet because there's other fuckery going on in the world right now. (Anthony) Yea. Right. you know? um, but no one should have to worry about that and that's the least... that's one of the things that I don't want to worry about at all when I get older.

Anthony:

Right, yeah. I never thought I had to worry about it until this month.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

You know, when they billed me.

Carlos:

But at the end of the day, it's still cheaper than your regular insurance, even though your job subsidizes it. It's still going to be cheaper.

Anthony:

You know what's crazy too, Carlos?

Carlos:

And it covers more.

Anthony:

It's mandatory that you sign up three months before your birthday. And if you don't, you get penalized.

Carlos:

Yes. And that penalty stays until you die. It doesn't go away.

Anthony:

Right. Right. Unreal.

Carlos:

So, yeah, it is unreal. But Massachusetts has that same thing because we have health care here that's offered to everyone.

Anthony:

Yeah, Mass Health.

Carlos:

Right. If you can become eligible for it.

Anthony:

Right.

Carlos:

Right?

Anthony:

And, you know, something, Mass Health is pretty good.

Carlos:

Yeah, it is.

Anthony:

It really is.

Carlos:

Yeah, it is good. You know. So what else? We were talking about that. Oh, and the other thing, like about the age difference, you know, because, oh God, here's my nerdy part. Because I am a nurse, right? So I have this awareness of you aging and, you know, about your health. I think about my mortality a lot. Yours, mine, people as they get older, you know, like this past week, you're getting your ass kicked right now because of the sciatica.

Anthony:

Out of nowhere.

Carlos:

Out of nowhere.

Anthony:

I got a pinched nerve in my ass. And I'll tell you, it fucking buckles you all the time.

Carlos:

It does, you know?

Anthony:

You know, and it's weird because...

Carlos:

You've never had it before.

Anthony:

No, never had it. But like, you know when you get hurt and you laugh?

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

Like, yeah. Yeah. I mean, like I got it so bad. I was like, oh my God. It's crazy.

Carlos:

And it's right on your butt cheek.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Right? It's right on your butt cheek.

Anthony:

It is crippling.

Carlos:

I had it for like, what? It had to be like three months.

Anthony:

I hope it goes away quick. I can't do three months with it.

Carlos:

You got to stretch it out.

Anthony:

I do.

Carlos:

You got to take the anti-inflammatories.

Anthony:

God.

Carlos:

You know, but it's stuff like that, you know. I mean, you tend to be more laid back about it than I am because I'm always like, Anthony, you got to, you know, don't do that because you're going to hurt yourself. You're not like, you and safety are just not friends. I don't understand.

Anthony:

The rough and tumble lifestyle.

Carlos:

I don't know, man. You got to be careful now. You're not, you know, we're not. young anymore and like little things you know hurt you like i take the stairs all night long when i'm at the hospital yeah you know because i'm like that's the only exercise i'm really getting so i walk around i round out around all the floors here in the hospital all night long and um i take the stairs you know i mean there are some days where i'm like oh i'm on the second floor do i really want to climb to the seventh right now? (Anthony) Seven. There's seven floors in that hospital huh?

Anthony:

yeah yeah jesus christ (Carlos) Yeah, um, but.... (Anthony) i have to stop saying jesus christ (Carlos) oh it doesn't matter

Carlos:

i do it all the time it's you know.... (Anthony) Maybe i'll just say holy fuck. (Carlos) There you go! it works too!

Anthony:

Holy fuck. (Carlos) I don't know. I don't, I don't really subscribe to religion so i don't care

Carlos:

and i you know it's really funny because that's that's just an expression that we use here because there are, there are like people who are Jewish or Muslim American that say Jesus Christ. Cause that's just a phrase that we use, you know? Um, but anyway, uh, we had a conversation the other day, uh, that you, because you have kids and you were asking me if that was common in the community. And I was like, yeah, I suppose it is because I know couples who have children, you know whether it was from adoption or if it was from a surrogate okay but i guess what you meant was.... (Anthony) Like me. (Carlos) Yeah, yeah, like.... (Anthony) Divorced dads that have kids that are now with a with a gent but i would imagine that it would be more common during your era during your time growing up i i I don't know anybody that is gay that I grew up with that has kids. Maybe we could have some people call in and talk about it.

Anthony:

I know, I remember maybe about 15 years ago, my sister that lived in Westwood, one of her neighbors came out and he was married and they had just had a newborn.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

And they got divorced. I know that.

Carlos:

Yeah. I mean, I've seen in the news or I've seen stories where, you know, women who've come out later in life after they've had their children with their husbands and things like that, you know, I'd like to hear those stories too.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

You know, because women don't need a man anymore.

Anthony:

Right. Right.

Carlos:

There's science now.

Anthony:

Yeah. You know something? I always...like....girls hook up with girls just to hook up. You know, I know that goes on.

Carlos:

No, that's a generalization, Anthony.

Anthony:

No, I don't think so. I don't think so.

Carlos:

Nooooooo....

Anthony:

I don't think so.

Carlos:

No, because there are women out there that are like, no, I've never done it. Have no desire to do it.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Whatever.

Anthony:

You know, have you ever seen like, you know, girls have a sleepover and they're all huggy, huggy with each other and, you know.

Carlos:

But that's not sexual.

Anthony:

No, but I think it leads to, I could be wrong.

Carlos:

It doesn't lead to that.

Anthony:

Am I creating a scenario here?

Carlos:

I think you are. I think that's just how men think.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Women don't think like that all the time.

Anthony:

I get in trouble with this fucking head of mine.

Carlos:

Oh my God.

Anthony:

Both of them.

Carlos:

Well, we're learning. We have a lot to learn. people call in and educate the shit out of us. (Anthony) Yeah do so. (Carlos) we'd love to have a conversation with someone on the pod. Um, so, yeah i think they're out there. I've i've heard of it, you know? i think when i, when i...i love tv shows that are oldie worldy, you know? Like um like Downton Abbey whoop you just jumped from your sciatica just now. (Anthony) I did. (Carlos) Um yeah that looked like it hurt

Anthony:

Oh, God.

Carlos:

Is that pillow helping that you're sitting on?

Anthony:

Yeah, it's okay.

Carlos:

Yikes. So I love, like, Downton Abbey, those old British shows, you know, the historical fiction stuff on TV. I watch a lot of TV. It's embarrassing.

Anthony:

Yeah, you blow my mind. You know, you watch all these series, and, you know, like you're on season three, episode 12 of this one, season four episode eight of this one and i haven't started any of them and i'm like all fucked up and confused. (Carlos) Oh? Stop falling asleep. (Anthony) Oh my god. No but you've been watching them you know before you met me, like you know? (Carlos) oh yeah, like Call the Midwife. Yeah, but anyway the

Carlos:

point that i was trying to make was they're they're they have gay characters in these shows you know and a lot of them had to keep it secret men women didn't matter they still had to keep relationships a secret you know they men and women who were gay still had to go through it with marriage to the opposite sex even though they didn't want to they still had to live that life so i'm sure children were born during that era from those types of arrangements you know um so hard to say but i but that's my only like reference right point of reference that i have for that um but i don't know anyone other than you right now yeah that has that right you know but it doesn't change anything right because like even though like there are there is proof that says that we are born this way right it doesn't mean that you pass that on to your kids right? (Anthony) Yeah, not hereditary.... (Carlos) because people fucking forget where gay people come from right? They come from straight people. Assholes. Like what the fuck, you know? Like let's not be shitheads about this (Anthony) Yeah. You know but i'll tell you right now, i have, um, i have a gay

Anthony:

nephew and a gay niece and it did it did go through my head like, is this hereditary? Are they like this just because of uncle anthony? (Carlos) No.... (Anthony) No. But it does, I did, I thought of it. I did think of it well

Carlos:

Because I have a trans cousin. God bless him. He's amazing. Such a smart kid.

Anthony:

Yeah, I got to meet him over the Christmas holiday.

Carlos:

I know. And you didn't know that he was trans.

Anthony:

No. I didn't know that he was a female. He's a guy.

Carlos:

Yeah, he started out his transition probably a couple years ago when he started taking testosterone, you know? But, yeah, straight up dude.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

You know, which is amazing. And his dad is super supportive. Remember what I said?

Anthony:

what's his name

Carlos:

Alden he's amazing such a smart dude and his dad my uncle he was the right person

Anthony:

right your uncle has a heart the size of a watermelon

Carlos:

that guy is amazing such an amazing dude and his two other kids are super supportive of their sibling you know and um it would kill me that my mother would still refer to alden as sabrina still and i'm like and it makes me fucking crazy because i'm like mom stop it yeah not a woman not female knock it off okay like you know? (Anthony) that's gonna, you know all that's gonna do is

Anthony:

create animosity with... (Carlos) It will, you know? There's such a high suicide rate for trans people She'll never see him again if she continues, you know? That's just it because he'll estrange himself from the family. (Carlos) And thank god that hasn't happened because my uncle is super supportive and so

Carlos:

loving. It's not gonna happen. They, they...he is so close to his kids, my uncle, like he's so good to them, he's so good with them...(Anthony) Right. But i'm talking about your mom. (Carlos) Yeah it almost happened with me

Anthony:

yeah yeah. (Carlos) Right? Because she didn't talk to me for quite some time, right ? So disappointed in me.

Carlos:

all those years. But i'm not gonna...I don't want to shit talk my mom because (Anthony) Of course My mom is a brilliant woman who worked for everything and i told you today she was brilliant you know? She, she still is. She's a smart woman, she knows her shit, she works so hard and i give her so much respect for that, you know? (Anthony) Yeah... (Carlos) Um quite frankly, she did amazing things with her life you know? She she came to this country, didn't speak English, was a cashier, worked her way up in a company to the top, you know? I mean, holy shit, right? Like self-made woman right there. (Anthony) Yeah. You know what i'm saying? So i give her mad respect for that, you know? (Anthony) Real plugga! (Carlos) well, was I like a disappointment? Probably. Because i didn't achieve what she achieved, you know? yeah, um, and like i mean i i'm doing fine i'm not gonna you know? i'm happy, okay um but i don't want to....my mom's not an awful person, you know? She loved me the way that she knew, she was very young, you know? she still took care of me um you know? (Anthony) She did what she could for the time. (Carlos) Yeah, you know? And those were the times. And Thankfully, my mom has come around. Okay. And she has for my trans cousin as well, you know, because she did, she did not refer to Alden as a female this time.

Anthony:

Really?

Carlos:

Yes. I paid attention because I wanted to be like, what is she going to do?

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

You know, and she was cool with it.

Anthony:

Right.

Carlos:

So that was great. You know? So that made me feel good. So my mom, my mom is learning, you know, she's still very right. We still need to work on that, you know? Um, but there are reasons why she thinks like that, but that's for another, that's another discussion. Um, anyway, we talked about, uh, kids in the, you know, from LGBTQ in the community. I want, I would love to hear from people who are in the same situation as Anthony. Tell your story, share with us, please. (Anthony) We know you're out there! You know? Please find us. i hope they find us and talk because it would be great to have these cool conversations you know? Um.... (Anthony) Hey you know what we have to do? We have to get a timer? (Carlos) Why is that?

Anthony:

I don't know. I just like to see how long we've been talking. (Carlos) It's been 45 minutes. (Anthony) Really? (Carlos) Well maybe. Well we

Carlos:

fucked around the first five minutes so and i edit a lot of stuff out. (Anthony) Time flies when.... (Carlos). it does it does

Anthony:

when you're on the air.

Carlos:

So, I guess in the news, what's been getting your attention?

Anthony:

Iran.

Carlos:

Oh, yeah.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Interesting, because they are...

Anthony:

They killed like... Protesters. Yeah, like 3,000. I think I heard...

Carlos:

Was it that many?

Anthony:

1,500, 3,000. I don't remember. I know it was a lot.

Carlos:

Motherfucker. That's crazy.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

all because they want to protest for a better life. You know? What really bothered me was that Trump was like, oh, we're going to lay bombs on you or some shit like that if you don't stop killing protesters. I'm like, motherfucker, what are you doing here in this country? They're killing protesters too, and you're not doing shit, but giving them immunity for killing innocent Americans.

Anthony:

Such a hypocrite, man.

Carlos:

It is so hypocritical. But he's so trying for that peace, that Nobel Peace Prize. he didn't get last time right like i don't know much about that either or how often that comes around does it come every year i don't fucking know but i feel that he's fucking butthurt because he didn't fucking get it last time (Anthony) Yeah. (Carlos) And so he's trying for it. (Anthony) He doesn't deserve it. No, he doesn't fucking deserve it. Dude like America first, like hello! Americans are getting killed. (Anthony) He must have been

Anthony:

pissed off because it went to AI. Right? The man of the year.

Carlos:

No, no, no. That's something else. It is. Nobel Peace Prize went to...

Anthony:

I'm thinking differently. Who's that woman

Carlos:

in Venezuela?

Anthony:

Oh, Hungary.

Carlos:

Was it Hungary? I can't even remember.

Anthony:

Yeah, she was from Hungary. Hungary. (Carlos) I don't remember anything. The only reason why I remember Hungary is because I work with somebody that's from Hungary and we chatted about it.

Carlos:

Well, I, what I'm seeing in the news a lot of is, um, you know, the state of healthcare right now, you know, I see a lot of flu right now. It's bad and it's killing people.

Anthony:

Oh yeah.

Carlos:

Like COVID days again, over, I'm seeing people getting intubated for their respiratory illnesses. And I mean, granted they have other comorbidities, other illnesses, you know, that they're, that they're up against, but like get your flu shot. If you haven't gotten it yet. It's not too late for that, please. I still believe in vaccination, despite what this administration thinks right now about vaccination.

Anthony:

I mentioned to you yesterday that I feel as though I haven't been the same since I got the COVID shots. And I'm not going to downplay it.

Carlos:

I don't know if that's true.

Anthony:

A little foggy, you know. I don't know if it's maybe I'm getting older, but right from the rip, I would say, you know, I started feeling weird upstairs.

Carlos:

Well, that was, you got that years ago, too, right? I don't, I haven't suffered any.

Anthony:

Well, 2019.

Carlos:

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, I was first in line to get that shit.

Anthony:

Yeah, I was, too.

Carlos:

I don't want to fucking die from this.

Anthony:

Yeah. Because at the time, I was working at the hospital, and I got it the same time. They were one of the first to get them.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

You know, and because I worked in the emergency room, I got one early on.

Carlos:

Yeah. I didn't want to die from it. So I got mine the second day was available.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

I wasn't first, but boy, I was that weak.

Anthony:

You know, during COVID, I had the trifecta. I worked at three different hospitals as a recovery coach, making my rounds, you know, 12-hour shifts, three emergency.

Carlos:

I just stuck it to one.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

It was enough. But I'm not going to lie.

Anthony:

It was enough.

Carlos:

It was hard because a lot of sick people came because people only showed up because they were really fucking sick.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Right. There wasn't any fuckery that we see a lot of.

Anthony:

Right.

Carlos:

But there's a different reason why there's all that fuckery because people can't get to their doctors anymore and, you know, or they're losing their health care.

Anthony:

Oh, my God. I lost my primary care physician. You know, he went on to a bigger, brighter job. And I've had him for a number of years. And it was like losing a friend. he knew everything about me oh yeah and i still now i have to get one but the way they did it the way you know you think that i would have gotten a call um you know or he would have said something during my last visit it was like you know uh this dr so-and-so is no longer with you know this this this uh physicians group yeah and you need to you know you have a 90 days to find you know a new pcp

Carlos:

you need to find one like tomorrow yeah because your medicare is going to kick in so you need to have someone established (Anthony) Yeah no doubt. (Carlos) But my point is get the flu shot get your vaccines you know that you're supposed to get your pneumonia vaccine your pneumovax if you if you're eligible for it shingles all that stuff that protects you, okay? Tt doesn't make you....vaccines are not supposed to make you not get sick right because you you can still get the flu if you're exposed to it the hope is that you don't get hospitalized right and or die from the flu okay so that's what it's there for um so yes so they're still useful all right um the other thing that's come up recently was the uh the strike the nurses strike in new york city wow nurses are pissed and rightfully fucking so.

Anthony:

Yeah. Yeah.

Carlos:

We're eating so much shit right now, you know?

Anthony:

Well, you're not recognized as a professional. What did Trump say about you guys?

Carlos:

Oh, yeah, that's right. We're not a profession anymore.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Yeah. And that's a way to not have to help pay for the education, which is bullshit.

Anthony:

Yeah, he didn't say that when he got shot in the ear, you know?

Carlos:

Yeah, but was that real or staged?

Anthony:

No, no, right?

Carlos:

Because you don't hear much about that.

Anthony:

Fucking BB gun.

Carlos:

right so but anyway like we don't have any evidence either way to say it happened or dispute it but the thing is nurses are pissed rightfully so health care is a fucking mess right now it is okay um in an ED right now, emergency department you're getting like at least 50 boarders which are people who have been admitted to the hospital and cannot move to the floors because there's no room at the inn. yeah there's really no fucking room okay? (Anthony) they don't admit anybody anymore for the most part

Anthony:

you have to be in a death bed.... (Carlos) They admit everybody now! (Anthony) They do? (Carlos) Yes! That's why we have so many fucking boarders

Carlos:

so we have all these sick ass people i mean a lot of them are super sick and they need to be there okay but you know there's no room in the emergency room and people still keep coming in, right? So you have 50 people who that are admitted, they need to move upstairs. There's no room to move them upstairs. Then you have like 50 people in the fucking waiting room. And then you have another 30 in the ED that haven't been seen, that need to be seen by physicians.

Anthony:

God.

Carlos:

Like, how do you deal with that? Right? And so the ratios, the numbers, you know, of patients that each nurse has, you know, it goes up.

Anthony:

Oh, gosh.

Carlos:

And it's really not safe to have, in my opinion. You should really just cap it four patients per nurse because they do everything. You know, five, that's it, and no more.

Anthony:

Right. You could get hung up with one patient for a couple of hours.

Carlos:

Precisely. And that's what happens, especially like in the emergency department, or it happens on the inpatient floors too, that if one of your patients gets really sick or you're coding your patient, you know, or trauma comes into the ED, right? It takes all the resources to stabilize that patient, right? Because you don't want them to die in the end.

Anthony:

Yeah, yeah.... (Carlos) Okay.

Carlos:

And so when all of those resources are being used to stabilize this patient, your other ones just sit there. Okay.

Anthony:

For a long time.

Carlos:

They do because we have people that sit in the ED for days before they come upstairs, unfortunately, you know? And the care is not the same because emergency room nursing, emergency nursing is very different from inpatient nursing and vice versa. It's a different animal. I can tell you right now that when I cared for patients that were inpatients, it was a difficult task because I didn't do it ever.

Anthony:

Right.

Carlos:

I started out as an ER nurse. I never, you know, worked on the floor, but now I've got a good glimpse of it these days in my new role

Anthony:

You know what blew my mind when I was working in the EDs? was the amount of ETOH patients, like in the emergency departments in the cities.

Carlos:

Yes.

Anthony:

Like, for instance, the...

Carlos:

The alcohol substance use disorders.

Anthony:

Yeah. Like, for instance, the emergency room, it was tiny. Maybe they had 15 rooms, you know?

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

And the shelter was nearby. So, you know, a lot of homeless in the area. And there were times I was in that ED and there weren't any normal patients. They were all alcoholics, you know, that, you know, somebody sees them sleeping on a park bench and they call the police, the police calls the ambulance and then they have to go in and once they're admitted, they can't leave until they're medically cleared. You know how that works. And when I tell you, they had every, it was like night after night after night.

Carlos:

It's exhausting down there.

Anthony:

It is, yeah.

Carlos:

You know, and it is our job to like stabilize, make sure that they're safe to leave and that sort of thing right because sometimes they have psychiatric disorders that go along... (Anthony) Oh yeah there's secondary illnesses with them every one of them

Anthony:

just about. (Carlos) And sometimes they come in, you know, under the influence... (Anthony) Yeah. Right. (Carlos) They're drunk

Carlos:

you know and they say they're suicidal right? Which we coin in the ED as (Anthony & Carlos in unison) drunk-acidal!

Anthony:

yeah and oh you know something and like some of them uh you know what you guys call frequent flyers. (Carlos) Oh yeah. (Anthony) there was one guy who presented to the ED over 170 times in one year yeah that's you know like everybody knows your name, you know? (Carlos) And that's expensive for health care yeah well you know what you know like where i worked in quincy there's a shelter close by and if you're not in the shelter at 6 p.m., you're not getting in for the night. So these guys are using it as a motel, a place to crash.

Carlos:

But they're still patients. You still have to take care of them because sometimes when they start to sober up, if let's say they're drinking everyday handles of vodka, then they start to go into withdrawal. And now they become a medical problem. Now they become...

Anthony:

Absolutely.

Carlos:

And the ones who say they're suicidal, right?

Anthony:

Prone to seizures.

Carlos:

Now you can't send them home because what if they kill themselves when they're outside or out of your ED?

Anthony:

Right. You know? And just about every one of them is combative.

Carlos:

Yes.

Anthony:

I want a cigarette. Can you get me another sandwich?

Carlos:

But do you see why nurses have had enough of this bullshit?

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Like you're getting abused. You get physically abused sometimes. You definitely get verbally abused.

Anthony:

I got hit in the back of the head with a urine bottle once.

Carlos:

oh yeah, I've been kicked in the face.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

You know, like it's enough, you know, when you have like, and I don't know if more money is going to be what's going to solve the problem. You know, I'm sure the nurses are like, we need better ratios. You need to hire more nurses. You don't need to, you know what I'm saying?

Anthony:

Yep.

Carlos:

Because I, the problem I see at night is that, you know, the census of the patients remains the same while your staffing goes down.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

And that's both for providers and your nurses.

Anthony:

Yeah. Right.

Carlos:

And your techs and your CAs.

Anthony:

Why do, why do they like chop off, chop off?

Carlos:

Because the assumption is they go to sleep at night.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

So you're going to be doing less work. It's not the case. It's not the case.

Anthony:

You know, I know like say for instance, you have a cold, right? It seems to come on stronger at night. You know what I mean? For some reason, you know, when it's time to go to bed, you start feeling like shit again, you know? And it comes on stronger at night.

Carlos:

Yeah. Yeah. But things happen at night. And when bad things happen at night, you have fewer people to deal with.

Anthony:

Right. Right.

Carlos:

So I hope these nurses in New York City get what they want. Okay. Because in California, there are ratios. And there was a vote in Massachusetts not too long ago, maybe like the last 10 years, where we were trying to set ratios. And of course, you know, the union fought for it, but the hospitals fought against it.

Anthony:

Right. Right.

Carlos:

Because they don't want to hire more. They don't want to spend more.

Anthony:

Right.

Carlos:

You know? But really, we should be capping a nurse, like at four patients in ED. It shouldn't be more than that. You know, things would probably run a lot more efficiently.

Anthony:

Quality care versus...

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

And how do we hit those metrics, you know, of keeping your patient happy? You know, the customer service when you have too many and you're just stretched too thin. There's no fucking way. Stop it. You know, that's some bullshit right there.

Anthony:

Right.

Carlos:

So you make an impossible situation harder, you know. So I hope these nurses really get what they deserve. You know, they deserve more, probably better pay, better ratios, safer conditions for themselves and for their patients. Well, we'll see what happens.

Anthony:

You know, they have the new mayor there.

Carlos:

And I love him because he showed up for them. you know and he was like saying get back to that table guys negotiate that's exactly what politicians should be doing they should be supporting the people right? (Anthony) Right. (Carlos) Like not like play along with the fuckery where you're trying to screw people No. Enough of that. (Anthony) Enough is enough. (Carlos) But i like that Mamdani was there for them so that was pretty badass. But that's why he's now the new mayor. Because he paid attention. Right?

Anthony:

Let's see, Let's see if he carries any weight. (Carlos) I hope he does. I hope he pulls through. I hope he surrounds

Carlos:

himself with some good people to make things work. You know, because I'm sure that's a really shitty job that I wouldn't want. You know what I'm saying? I don't want any leadership position like that. I'm happy that that's happening in New York. Because the thing is, like, But it should start with, you know, patient safety, the safety of our nurses, you know, the people who are doing the bulk of the fucking work for caring for those patients. Like enough already. And those fucking hospitals had the fucking audacity. And I get that they have to cover those spots. You have to take care of patients at the end of the day. But travel nurses, when they are called for a strike, boy, are they worth a lot of money.

Anthony:

Oh, yeah.

Carlos:

Right? Suddenly you have all this fucking money to burn.

Anthony:

Right. Yeah, yeah.... (Carlos) and i'm talking like at least 100 bucks an hour but that's a joke it's

Carlos:

probably more like 200 an hour plus a bonus on top of that right for this strike you know um yeah so you suddenly have all this money to burn and now you can't even support your own people, you know?

Anthony:

Yeah, like you say, fuckery. (Carlos) Yeah stop screwing the people that are trying to do a good job

Carlos:

That want to do a good job, right? Make the conditions better, make the pay better. Bottom line. it shouldn't be that hard. (Anthony) Keep everybody happy. (Carlos) Yeah, and I think, uh everybody else will be happy including the patients. (Anthony) Right, right. (Carlos) Um so that's the strike in New York City. Go New York City nurses! Because if that goes through, it's gonna happen here too! yeah Like a lot of Hospitals are going to be on fire over this, right?

Anthony:

Hey, can we cut to the sports desk for a minute? Carlos. I've got Carlos into football.

Carlos:

Yeah, yeah.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

You did.

Anthony:

We're loving the Patriots.

Carlos:

Oh, wow.

Anthony:

They're on a roll. They're playing Sunday against the Texans.

Carlos:

Oh.

Anthony:

You know, last night I was...

Carlos:

Such a boring fucking game.

Anthony:

Oh, yeah. Yeah, but the Steelers, the Texans, horrible game. But, you know, the size of some of these guys.

Carlos:

Yeah.

Anthony:

You know, 6'8", 380. Can you imagine getting pounded by that?

Carlos:

No, absolutely not.

Anthony:

God almighty.

Carlos:

I'm good. I'm all set.

Anthony:

Dang.

Carlos:

Don't need that.

Anthony:

Man, oh, man.

Carlos:

It's getting run over by something, that's like getting hit by a car. We're good.

Anthony:

But it's funny to watch Carlos watch a game. It's pretty cool.

Carlos:

Now I get into it.

Anthony:

Yeah. You do.

Carlos:

Because now I understand it a little bit better. You know, I don't understand everything yet. Because sometimes I'm like, what just happened?

Anthony:

Right.

Carlos:

Or when there's a bad play, I'm like, what the fuck was that? That was so stupid. What the fuck?

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

You know? But that just reminded me, though, speaking of the sports desk. Well, I hope they make it to the Super Bowl. So I'm rooting for the Pats.

Anthony:

Absolutely.

Carlos:

But on the sports desk, wasn't there today that was about trans student not allowed to play women's sports? Yeah, and we've had a discussion about this before because it got heated amongst us and our friends, you know?

Anthony:

Is this something before Congress?

Carlos:

Well, I think it's at the Supreme Court right now. And I think today they talked about it, you know, where this student was not allowed to play in women's sports. And she's had testosterone blockers forever now. She is a female. And I think the argument is, well, you're a biological male, so therefore you can't play. And I guess they cited some unfairness because you're already developed. You're more muscular. You have a larger heart, larger lungs. But I'm like, come on, knock it off. You know, I don't think that's right. You know, but that also connected to our conversation that we had in the past where, you know, when when is too early for someone to transition? You know, and in my opinion, in my humble opinion, that is a individual decision. That's a family's decision. I don't think the court should be involved in any of that shit at the end of the day.

Anthony:

Right.

Carlos:

Same thing with abortion. You know, you don't have to fucking like it. It's not your decision. At the end of the day, that's a medical procedure. And that should be between the woman and her doctor. End. Okay. But the fact that they've outlawed it in a lot of these states is fucking crazy to me.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

Okay. Because like, so let's say the child is born with a crippling condition or child is born to, you know, where the family can't afford the child. like where are these pro-lifers now right are they gonna be any help to this family? They're not You know, they're like, oh we believe in pro-life! I'm like okay, so when they're born you still give a shit about that life? You know what I'm saying? It's just a fucking crazy thing to me but the whole trans thing, like I, I think they should be allowed to play Whatever, you know? but that's just my opinion I really want to hear other people's opinion you know? I don't think there is such a thing as too early for someone to transition I don't know. You felt differently about that well I mean

Anthony:

yeah I did you know like decision to make the decision you know? they're just not maybe not educated enough on the issue or you know is it peer pressure? because they've seen a friend do it You know? Is it a fad? You know?

Carlos:

I don't think that's a phase that someone goes through because you can make the same argument about me too at five years old kind of like going, Oh, I'm different....

Anthony:

to be honest I don't know too much about it, you know? And, you know, I'm not going to open up a can of worms.

Carlos:

I would love to have a discussion.

Anthony:

If you've got nothing good to say, don't say anything. And I'm not going to say anything bad because I just, you know, I'm uneducated in that division.

Carlos:

I so want people to call in to talk about this because it's a good topic to talk about.

Anthony:

It is.

Carlos:

So on our last thing, you're meeting with two old friends soon.

Anthony:

Three.

Carlos:

Three? Okay....

Anthony:

Yeah! You know, friends of over 50 years. You know, we were all in each other's weddings um we're godfathers to their children and we uh we have been seeing each other for a number of years and we're meeting at a local pub in boston (Carlos) Oh when is that? East Boston uh the 30th of January. (Carlos)Ooh! That's coming soon! (Anthony) Yeah, so there's three of us

Carlos:

Maybe we can get them on the show. (Anthony) It's gonna be interesting because you know

Anthony:

only one uh, I've only seen one of them, Joe when we went on the boat you met him. But but the other two um, I haven't seen since I came out and um you know one of them one of them, Big Jim, uh I remember when I came out on on social media and uh you know, he he did a comment, and his comment was, just like everything else in life you hid that well. you know? (Carlos) Oh? You did that well? (Anthony) But um no he did it in a nice way (Carlos) Oh okay...

Carlos:

he meant that as a compliment. (Anthony) Yes, it's a compliment. (Carlos) But that's not a compliment. Hiding it well? Come on....?

Anthony:

No, I said it wrong. He said, just like everything else in life, you did that well.

Carlos:

Okay.

Anthony:

That's the way he said it.

Carlos:

All right. Okay. So he's being a friend.

Anthony:

Oh, of course. Yeah.

Carlos:

All right. I'm not judging because I don't know them.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

You know?

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

I hope they like me.

Anthony:

No, they're all great guys. They're all behind me.

Carlos:

I hope when I meet them, they're cool.

Anthony:

Oh, of course they will.

Carlos:

You know? But it would be great to have them on the show.

Anthony:

Oh, yeah. That would be hilarious.

Carlos:

You know, I can get two more mics.

Anthony:

They'll tell you some fucking crazy stories about me, you know.

Carlos:

That would be kind of fantastic.

Anthony:

Oh, my God. I was a fucking nutcase growing up. I still am.

Carlos:

We'll save that for another episode.

Anthony:

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Carlos:

Well, I guess we're out of time, so.

Anthony:

Out of time.

Carlos:

Wow.

Anthony:

Okay.

Carlos:

Well, we'd love to hear from you.

Anthony:

Yeah, we had some fun tonight.

Carlos:

Please like us, subscribe, do whatever.

Anthony:

Yeah, give us a call.

Carlos:

Send us a message. We'd love to have you on the show.

Anthony:

Yeah.

Carlos:

And have a good day, everybody.

Anthony:

Yeah, nighty night. Chow mein.

Head Shot

Anthony DeLisi

Co-host
Head Shot

Carlos Edwards-Diaz

Co-host