013 The Uplift Podcast: More Than Mum How Becky Built a Self She Could Believe In

Becky a mum of two and a nurse who spent her whole life looking after everyone but herself until she couldn't name a single thing in her day that was actually hers. 

In this raw, honest conversation, she tells me how she walked into a gym looking for something she couldn't name, and walked out years later now a family business owner and an intermediate strongwoman competitor.

But this isn't a story about trophies. It's about the self-belief Becky built underneath the barbell the kind that has nothing to do with the mirror and how it changed her happiness at home, her work, her motherhood, and the way she carries the hard things. 

If you've ever felt like you've dissolved into being "the mum" and "the wife," this one is your permission slip. You're allowed to be more and it won't cost the people you love. It'll give them a whole person back.

In this episode we get into:

• The slow "disappearing act" how women dissolve into their roles without noticing
• Why wanting something for yourself feels selfish, and why that belief is a lie
• How the gym became a doorway to identity, not just fitness
• Building self-belief as a skill not a personality trait you're born with
• Why having something that's only yours makes you a better mum and partner, not a worse one

This episode is for you if you can't remember the last thing you did purely for yourself and you want real, unfiltered proof that it's possible to be more.

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Ready to build that self-belief for yourself? That's exactly what we do inside The Uplift Project.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

There's a moment a lot of you will recognise. Everyone's been fed, everyone's sorted, the house is finally quiet, and you stand there and realise you couldn't name one single thing that you did for you. Just you. My guest today has lived in that exact moment for years. She's a mum of two, a nurse, well, she was a nurse, looking after everybody else for a living. Um, and somewhere in all of it, she completely lost the thread of who she actually was. Today, she is a business owner, an intermediate strong woman competitor. But I didn't bring her on here just to talk about the trophies. I brought her on because she's living, breathing proof of something I will say until I'm blue in the face, is you are allowed to be more than just a mum, the wife, and it doesn't make you any less of that either. This is Becky's story. And let's get into it. So, welcome back to the Uplift podcast. If you're a mum, if you're a wife, the one everyone leans on, um, and you've had this quiet nagging feeling that somewhere along the way you stop being you, then this episode is gonna feel like someone finally said it out loud. Um, and my guest is someone who knows this better than most, and I've had the privilege of coaching her through a chunk of this journey. Becky came to me through the Uplift project, and she is now one of my full-time online clients. Um, but before any of that, she was a mum of two, a nurse, in her own words, had nothing left in the tank that was really hers. Um, and what she's built since then the self-belief, the business, the strong woman is all of the reasons why I wanted uh to I wanted you to hear from her directly. Welcome, Becky.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Hello, how are you? I'm good, thank you. Are you?

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Yeah, fantastic. Um, so I will get sort of stuck into a little bit of your backstory first. So take me back sort of before any of this, like the lifting, the business. Um, like who was Becky? Paint like a bit of a normal day, where were you at?

SPEAKER_01 2:24

So before like all the changes recently, so um a nurse by background did that from uni and was like shift work, long 13-hour days, night shifts, things like that, um, working lots, and just like work life balance was just non-existent. And kids, so got two girls, uh a 10-year-old and a four-year-old. So, through the majority of my nursing, I was a mum as well. So I think I'd done two years of nursing and then became a mum. Um, so then was part-time, but um, still did like the long shifts and everything like that. So it was still just a juggle to finish in the night staying awake to look after Sophie and trying to eat something which would just usually be like snacks and whatever I could get, and running on little sleep and everything like that. Yeah, but it was interesting.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Did um so like with your um with that sort of environment that you were living in, like did you get to a point where you wanted to change? Like, what was that kind of like change for you? Because obviously, like when you were nursing and stuff, I I don't think that was at the forefront of your mind when you're kind of bringing up children and you're busy and all of that stuff. Like, what was it that you started you with sort of going into the gym?

SPEAKER_01 3:57

So I think I've always like so I've sp I've always been like overweight, a bigger girl, and things like that, and through school and everything like that. So it's always been in the back of my mind that I want to try and be healthy and exercise, everything like that. I played like netball at school, and that's really good, and carry that on it through uni and nursing, but then like nursing and shift patterns, you could never have a routine like it's just because one week you're on nights, or sometimes you're doing days and nights. So there's netball on a Thursday, but I'd be working the night, so I couldn't do it, and things like that. So then that's when I tried to start the gym because I could try and fit in exercise or classes when I had time. But again, it was never consistent, it was never regular. So then I knew I needed to do it, but there just wasn't the I didn't always have the time, or I did have the time, but it would I could never get into a consistent routine, so then it was just became more hard work because it was like, Well, I want to train tomorrow, but I can't train tomorrow, so now I'll have to do Thursday, and then you get to Thursday and you think, Oh, I'll just suck it off and not bother, and then it was just just becomes so difficult.

SPEAKER_00 5:07

Yeah. So what then changed for you within that? Because that obviously, like now, well, well, the people listening might not necessarily know what your story is just yet, but like you are someone who is like on it routined, like you get shit done, like what was it that kind of allowed for you to switch into to that?

SPEAKER_01 5:31

So I think partly like so not so before like the business, still when I was nursing, I then did a nine to five nursing job, which was community. So I'd be home at like half five every day, so then suddenly I've got the whole evening, and that opened up opportunities to have more time to um train and do the gym, and then because I think I've probably been training properly since like 2018, and but in various different ways, and then it just became a bit a bit of an escape for me. Like I hit a point where I'd put on more weight, and I've got I saved a picture actually to kind of if you wanted to like a before and after kind of thing. It was kind of like a turning point for me, being a bit like you need to sort your shit out now, like this is this is silly now, and then started up, did was doing PT again, and then I fell pregnant with my second daughter, and I was like, Oh, like this isn't, can I still train? And now I'm gonna put on even more weight because that's what I do in my pregnancies. I put on like a good couple of stains because I just enjoy my food with the cravings, but I didn't. I carried on training. My coach at the time that I had was very supportive with me training whilst pregnant, and I trained all the way through my pregnancy with Charlotte. I was in the gym doing PT three days before I went into labor. Yeah, I was huge, but we were still squatting with a dumbbell and moving my body, and it's the best I've ever felt. And then had my daughter had the recommended six to eight weeks off postpartum and was straight back to it, and like the weight dropped off me, like all the weight that I put on in during pregnancy came off. I was still, I wasn't dieting or anything like that. It was just and I purely put it down to being so active during pregnancy, and then it just stemmed from there, and I was like, if I can do it whilst growing a human, then I've got no excuse, and I just carry it on, and then it just stemmed from there, and I like made the decision that no, this is what I need to do, I need to do this for me, and then being a mum of two, the gym then became my escape, where I can just have a couple of hours on my own without somebody asking me for a snack or something or shouting my name. Um, and yeah, and it just stemmed from there then from like the last like five years, and it's just progressed and snowballed really to what it is now.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

Do you think do you think that the the fact that you trained whilst you were pregnant and that obviously being harder because obviously you're really fatigued in general, and it's just hard when you're that big as well, like towards the end of it. Like, do you think that then had a positive impact into like how you approached like postpartum and stuff like that as well this time around?

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Yeah, yeah, definitely, because like my first pregnancy was polar opposite. I hundred percent used it as an excuse for the eating for two kind of thing. And I'm pregnant, I don't need to do anything, like you can do that for me and stuff like that. But second time round, I was like, well no, I can do all these things, and don't get me wrong, I still ate what I wanted, but I was more conscious of it and like just being more active, I enjoyed my pregnancy better because I just felt better, and then afterwards I was like, well, let's just carry this on now, like and just keep and keep going and see what see what we can achieve and what we can do.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

So based on on that, then like what what's something that you can do now that like genuinely surprised you? So like when you think about now versus back then, like what what is the biggest thing that jumps out to you that your that you do now that you will never like that?

SPEAKER_01 9:30

Yeah that like I just make time for me and I don't feel guilty about it. Don't get me wrong, I did feel guilty about it and felt bad because especially my youngest is always like literally every day when I pick her up from school, are you going to the gym today, mummy? And she always asks me, but I don't feel guilty of it because I'm looking after my body and I need to look after my body to be there for my girls, to run around after them and do everything that they want me to do with them, and also be a happy mum and a happy wife, and everything like that. Like you got to look after yourself first in order to look after everybody else, and until you flip that switch and realise that a lot of the times we do put ourselves last. Everybody else is a priority, whereas now I do probably put myself a bit more first, and like and I don't feel guilty about it because I'm happier for it, so then I can be be more present because I've had my fix at the gym, so now I don't mind doing this and like and doing other things because I get my time as well to be Becky and not just be a mum or a wife and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

And if anything as well, like you know, your girls watching you do that will show that like that's an important factor of prioritizing yourself as well. Like, I think especially like mums are very guilty of that of like never putting themselves first, but they don't realise how much like their children actually watch that and then think that that's you know what you have to do.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

Yeah, definitely. Like shouts all the time, like she'll see my videos and stuff, and she'll be like, You're so strong, mummy, and like sees all the things, and like she does the actions and everything like that, and it's just like putting it in their brain, but in a healthy way, like I'm not trying to teach them to be skinny or anything like that, it's just about being healthy and being happy and moving your body and things like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

So, um, when when it comes to sort of the the harder days now, like because I always have these conversations with people about like when they get into training and doing hard things, especially the type of training that you do, like obviously doing your strong woman, like how does uh that like coping with like hard training sessions, how does that allow you to um uh change how you talk to yourself on like a hard day? So like it doesn't have to be gym related, but like on the days where you just you're just having it rough, like do you feel like that training has allowed for you to change how you feel with that or how you approach that?

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Yeah, definitely. Like it's definitely it's definitely been hard, and when like you still have your negative days, and like especially like during the cycle and things like that, like I can look at myself and think I don't look any different to what I did a few years ago when I 100% do, but you just don't always see that, and it's now just being like having the reasons behind those feelings. Now it's like right your period's coming up, it's making you feel negative, you're feeling bloated, so then it makes you feel bigger. But actually, these are all just things that happen once a month, everything hasn't gone like bad, and that it's just been like, no, we're okay, you don't need all these cravings and things like that, and just try and push through like a you kind of bit of like self-talk, like you just have to talk to yourself like you're fine, have a little cry, and then we're okay, and like carry on and stuff, and it's just learning to do that. And I was very much one of what's the point, like I've tried hard all week, got on the scales, scales haven't don't say anything different, and then I have a binge, and I was just forever in that cycle, and or I'd lose a bit of weight and then go back to normal, and then it'd all go back on. But actually, a diet isn't just a temporary thing, which I have learnt now that it's not it's not a diet, you're just making like healthy changes, and that it's just but then now your normal life, it's not a phase, it's like your life, and everything like that. And it's over like the last year or so that I've then realized that, and I think like where was this like 10 years ago? I could have done with this like however many years ago, but there's so much in the media and everything like that of all these fad diets, and I've tried them all, and they all work for a bit because they do they do work as such, but then when you go back to normal, then you've just un then you just do undo everything that you've just done, and and then it just passed back on, and you're just stuck in this vicious cycle, and it's just it it takes a lot to realize that the hard work is constant, it's not just like an eight-week thing or a 12-week thing or shred for summer or anything like that, it's about just changing your whole life, like and that if you fuel your body, like then your body can do good things, and it's not about cutting anything out or anything because I don't get me wrong, I'm still a party girl, I still go every now and again. Um, but I can do that because it doesn't, I know now it doesn't ruin everything. I'm allowed to enjoy myself, and then we're just straight back to it. And now, also like a big change is I crave that routine now. Like I think I've said to you before, like I've been away all weekend and I've prepped, and I'm like, I can't wait to have my wrap that I have for lunch, that I've had for lunch every day since like Christmas. I think I still have it, and because I just like that routine now, and I think that stems from my nursing where I had no routine, yeah. My shift pattern was all over the place, and I could never work out when to eat what to eat, and whereas now my life is consistent, it just makes everything so much easier.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Yeah, and like I think when you when you feel better in your in yourself, like the normal becomes different. So, like what you will have like deemed as normal before, and what probably what a lot of people do because they they get into a diet mindset and then uh they think like once the diet's done, they just go back to eating like crispies or whatever. But it's like the normal becomes just the healthy way of living. Um, and like you say, and that that allows for you to bounce back to it because you actually know how your body feels, because like a lot of people live at a state of like constant bloat or fatigue, and they just think that's normal. Whereas like then when you start to feel good, you're like, oh god, actually. Yeah, yeah. Um but do you think then? Because obviously you trained through your pregnancy, you were already a gym gym gal. Um do you think when you started to have a hobby rather than it just being the gym? So obviously you started strong women, didn't you? So like tell tell the listeners like what uh what changed for you in that regard? Because obviously people can go to the gym and they can enjoy going to the gym, but like obviously you and me, very similar. Like, I started getting the gym seriously when I started doing powerlifting, whereas, like, similar to you when you've got it more of a hobby-based, did that change your mindset into like making it more like this is my time?

SPEAKER_01 17:03

Yeah, definitely. Like, I've always like I said, since probably like 2018, I've gone to the gym, but it's just been gym classes and doing this and dabbled in a bit of like deadlifting and really enjoyed that. Like, that was probably my the first thing that I touched that was like strong man, um, and I really enjoyed it. And then I I've always loved like Will Strongest Man and stuff like that, watched it at Christmas, Atlas Stones, loved them. And then Ben Stacy came up on my social media and saw him, saw some videos and um saw Atlas Stones in the background, and I was like, Oh, can are they his like kind of way? So I just like messaged him, had no idea who he was, and either I now know that I know his sister, like it was all very like weird, but I didn't know at the time who he was. And I just said, Look, I've seen you've got Atlas Stones, can I have a go? He's like, Yeah, mate, of course you can. Like, come to the gym, we'll do a one-to-one and go through it. So, yeah, met him, went into a a new gym that I'd never been to, and that was really I was really nerve-wracking because also to the listeners, if you see Ben like from the pictures, he looks like this big scary man, but but he's not so like going into a new environment to a new person, and I was a bit like, oh, but like I really wanted to try this. So went in and had this hour session and had a go with the Atlas Stones, and it was epic, and I loved it. And then Ben told me that he was opening up his own gym and what it would be about, and strong man and strong woman and stuff like this, and I was like, Oh, this is a bit of me. Um, so I followed his progress and was the one of the first to get a membership and sign up and go to the open day, and yeah, and it just then I got opened up to the world of strong man, and I've been there ever since. What's that, October? When did he open?

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Yeah, two years in October.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

Like nearly two years, yeah. And I just loved it like it, it's like I it sounds really weird. Like it's like I found my call in. Like I've always had a love-hate relationship with the gym for a very long time because it for me it was a it was kind of just serving a purpose. Like I knew I had to exercise because that's what I needed to do, but I didn't really enjoy it. Whereas now, like this week, I had a comp at the weekend, I'm on rest week this week, and now I'm starting to feel better. I've got itchy feet. I want to get back to the gym, and I'm missing my like I've got chilled evenings and stuff, which is great. But normally my evenings are busy because I'm normally training. Um, and it's just now it's something that I enjoy. And people say to me, God, you go to the gym a lot. Like, don't you get bored or don't you like find this out? And I'm like, no, like I love it, like it's not a chore for me. Like you say, it's a hobby, it's something that I enjoy doing now, and I purposely make time in the week to make sure that I can that I can do it because I found out that this is this is what I want to do, and this is and I'm gonna make time for it now, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

And I think that's the big thing, isn't it? Like making time for it. Um, like a lot of a lot of people don't necessarily like enjoy going to the gym, but they might not have found their little bit of it because there's so many different ways you can exercise, you know what I mean? Like, even look at like all the different cultures in Prevail, for instance. Like, we all have something completely different in a way, but like are in the same building, yeah. I mean, so it's like you know, just because you someone does a one way of training doesn't mean that that's the way that you have to do it, it's about finding like what you enjoy, but I think like having measurable progress and like ability to challenge yourself with your strength or your like performance goals, like that then has a massive carryover to like your enjoyment, but also your confidence as well. Um, because when you're forcing yourself to do something, it feels like it's just like punishment, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 21:01

You're like, Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

Um so what was your first ever competition like? Um yeah, the nerves, the moment. What was that like?

SPEAKER_01 21:16

So it was in January last year. Um it was freezing, it was Baltic. Um, it was like similar gym to ours in like a like a warehouse unit thing, and there were some events that were outside. I think it was like it felt like it was minus five degrees or something like that. Like it was freezing. Um, and it was the best day ever. Like so many people came to watch me who I'd only met like a few months ago, um, because there were people that I'd met at Pravail um and travelled. It was like in Yorkshire. Um, so me and Dave and the girls stayed over the night before and then went to this comp and just didn't really. Was such a like a new environment, but like everybody was just so friendly. Like, that's what like the strongman community is. Like, people are chatting and ask where you're from and what you do. Have you competed before? And when I told people that it was my first time competing, they were like, Oh, you can have a great day, like we'll all look after you, and everything like that. And like I was really nervous for the first event, um, which was deadlifts, um, but I felt more comfortable knowing it was deadlifts because that's something that I've done for a long time. So I felt more confident that I'd be okay, and did that first event. And as soon as it over, I was like, Well, let's go get like I'm ready to go now, and did all the other events, and like I still remember that there's um a strong woman there called Laura Hollywood, she was there coaching somebody. Um, I didn't at the time know who really who she was, but now I follow her a lot um on social media, and she was there, and the last event was sandbag over yoke, and she said to me, I think I did like 11 reps or something like that in 60 seconds or something like that. And she came up to me after and she was like, Your sandbags were really impressive. And I was just like, Oh my god, like somebody who's like a strong woman has like complimented me, and it was just like it was just such the best day, and then I was like, When's the next one? Yeah, and it was just it just gave me the buzz then, and like it just gives you something to focus your training on, and then you kind of have that accomplishment at the end. And I didn't podium, I I came last out of the I think there was five girls or something like that, but it didn't matter, like it was my first competition, there was no pressure, no expectations, and I just went to have a good time, yeah, and it was great, and I loved it, and I knew then that it was like this is what this is what I need to do and do more of.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

What does um what does strong mean to you like now compared to when you first started then?

SPEAKER_01 23:53

So I think like strong, it doesn't like there's the physical side of it, like I am physically strong, um, and I do believe that now. I probably haven't always believed that I am physically strong, but I am, but also like just strong mentally as well, like just being like looking after yourself, like I think it takes a strong person to do that when you've got so much outside noise and other responsibilities, like to actually look after you as well. Is I think that's really strong. Like to what's the word? I can't think of what the word is, but just to be like make you a priority, yeah. Like that's really important, and I think that's like strong. So I think there's definitely strong physically and strong mentally to try and push through things, like when you have bad days or hard times, that you still like show up for yourself in whatever way it doesn't always have to be 100% because nobody can give 100% all the time, but as long as you're given a percentage, then like you're showing up for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

What would you say to like the the women who are listening that like might be like where you were when you first started with like the the shifts and uh running a household? Like, what would you like say to them in order to find their sort of purpose and their routine? Like, because I know a lot of people who are so overwhelmed with life that they just can't seem to see that there is time that's made. Like, what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_01 25:32

Like, I think I'd say, like, particularly at work, as brut as this as this sounds, you're just a number, especially from like a healthcare background. Like, I absolutely loved my job, it was the most rewarding job ever. But I've left obviously left it now and being gone over a year, and it it will have made no difference that I've gone. Yet the times that I've had to sacrifice because of work that I've missed out on my home life and my children's life and things like that, you don't you don't get that back, like you don't get this time back. Like work is work, like find something that you enjoy and that you're passionate about, but like work isn't everything. And if you can find that balance where you're in a job that gives you that flexibility to give you a couple of hours in an evening, like 100% do it. Like me and Dave taking the plunge to open our own business was wild and like massive for me because it was completely leaving an industry that I knew going into one that I knew nothing about, but actually it's the best thing that we could do because now our time is ours and we choose what we want to do. I'm not saying running your business, running your own business is easy because it's not, but like you don't have to answer to anybody, and we can now make the time to do what we want to do, and I now have the time to do what I've always wanted to do and make time for me. Yeah, and I just think if you can find something that gives you that bit of time that's yours, don't fill it with something else, don't fill it with an after school club or letting somebody else do this. Like, if you've made time, like let it be for you because like you will 100% appreciate it and just feel so much better because you can be yourself and not just all the other hats that you wear.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

Yeah, I love that. Um, and I feel as well, like because you actually did that change whilst being a parent, being a homeowner, like there was a lot of risk, like leaving your job, but you still did it, and like the payoff payoff obviously is your time as well. Um, and I think a lot of people do say stay stuck because of those risks.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

Yes, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

Yeah, definitely. Really good to like hear that from someone who's done it. Um, because I think like you know, people do get stuck. Um but like let's loop it back to sort of um your your like confidence now, right? So like when when you first sort of started to go to the gym, you mentioned that it was like you know, more sort of weight loss based and you know, feeling like you kind of had to. Like, do you feel like now your the way that you look after yourself or your goals is different? Like, is it is it driven by something different, like the confidence side of it?

SPEAKER_01 28:33

Yeah, definitely. Like now, as much as I know sometimes in my check-ins the weight number creeps in there, and I have a little tiz over that, but then you bring me back down, and we just realise it's just a number, and then actually it's just about now I just want to feel confident in my body. Like, I've had two kids, I've got stretch marks, uh my shape is different to what it was when I was 18 and everything like that. But I probably couldn't be more confident in my body than what I am now because I just I just love it, every part of it, not all the time, but nobody loves the body all the time. But like it's just I just feel more confident. I will wear shorts in the gym, I will just be in my sports bar in the gym, like and have my arms out and things like that, which things I never would never do before. I still wouldn't want to because like I've been in gyms where there was skinnier girls and stuff, and I just think, oh, what are they thinking? Like, look at her and all stuff like that. It probably wasn't even like that, but these are the things that women put in their heads that they think are thoughts that are going through people's mind, and you just want to cover up then, or you don't want to take up space in the gym because you're like, Well, why are you here? and things like that. Um, whereas now, like I'm allowed to be in the gym, I'm allowed to express myself and be confident, and the biggest thing that changed that was the uplift project, because which was I was forced into doing by another girl, which I will thoroughly thank for because Becca suggested that we, me and my friend Emily, we do it, and it was a bit like what you want us to do, like a photo shoot on a beach, like it was just thinking like bikinis and stuff and all that, and I was just like, No, this is not this is not me, and anything like that, and it couldn't have been further from that because it was just whatever you as an individual wanted to make it wanted it to be, and it was the best thing I've ever done because I suddenly found how to eat well without being restrictive. I've done like nutrition plans before, and it was very much a this is what you have for breakfast, this is what you have for lunch, this is what you have for tea, and that's it. And it was too restrictive. Whereas when I got the nutrition plan, when I started the uplift project, I was like, Oh, okay, like this is really simple, but then also it was like, Oh, but what do I eat? But then it was like over time you learn what you can do, and like I eat the most amazing food all the time, and it's I'm full, I'm not hungry, and like I get chocolate every day, and things like that, and it's just like it's little bits like that that it's just makes it um I was gonna say realistic, but that's not the word that I want to use. But it's just um it's achievable, like it's not there's no extremes, there's no good or bad foods or cutting anything out, it's just just normal, and you just put it into your normal life, and then we did that for 12 weeks and did a photo shoot at the end, and as nerve-wracking it was, it was the most without being cheesy, uplifting thing I've ever done because I had photos in on a public beach, like where there was members of the public about, there was all these other girls that were there, and like it's really can be really intimidating to be in front of a camera and like posing and stuff when it's not something that you're used to doing apart from taking their selfie on your phone, and then but it was just made to feel so comfortable, and then I wore a bikini, which I don't think I've worn probably for like 15 odd years and stuff like that, but I had the confidence to do it, and now that's just continued from there that I'm now just like this is my body, this is what it's done, this is what it continues to do, and I and I'm proud of that.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

Do you think that there was like a turning point within that coaching that you saw yourself differently? So, like, was there things that you did, or you know, what was there just a point that you changed within that? Because like obviously the the programme is designed to help with that, but like you know, I I know that there'll be things that people will have done that allowed for them to feel like that at the end.

SPEAKER_01 33:04

I think it was just for me because the hardest part for me ever has been the nutrition side. Like, I if you told me I needed to train seven days a week, I'd do that, like because you just think exercise is what you need to do. But actually, the main foundations is your nutrition, and I've just never found anything that worked or that was sustainable, and this was everything that I needed because there was no weird things that I had to eat or restrictions that I couldn't eat that, and it was like these are the basics, you fit it in with what fits in with your lifestyle, and as long as you stick to that kind of measurements or whatever, then that's fine. And I just eat, I haven't really changed what I eat. I still have chili, I still have curry, I still have all these things, but actually, I'm just more aware of like portion control and things like that, and having the balance right. That now I'm like, oh, I get it. Like, it's like a light bulb moment, and then it's like, and now it was it was that that changed it for me. It was just like the nutrition side of it that like you can eat normally, yeah. Like you don't have to do anything with it, and it like the the understanding that you have beforehand, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 34:24

Because like you said at the start of this episode, like you've done all of the diets, right? But like you hadn't actually just been shown that like this is what portion controls is, this is what it looks like to hit your protein target, this is what it looks like to have a pre-workout meal that then supports you feeling strong. Um so yeah, that's that's that's definitely something that that then becomes easier, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_01 34:52

Like yeah, yeah, definitely. Like it's now just normal life now. Like, I don't think before this I'd have ever had a pre-workout meal, like, because that's extra calories and stuff, and I had in my head a set of calories that I was allowed to eat, and I couldn't go over that, but what I was doing wasn't working because like my physique never changed because I was just fueling it wrong. Whereas now I know what I need to do, and I just do that every day now. It's just it's just second nature, and it's just my normal routine now.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

And that's obviously allowed for you to go from first time strong woman competitor to what did you do at the weekend?

SPEAKER_01 35:34

Uh my first inters competition, which is just wild to think that in well what less than two years, I've gone from a first-timer to inters, which is really high up, like it's a lot bigger weights, and and I think that's something that the confidence side has given me as well, is that for Lincolnshire's at the weekend, I could have easily just stayed in the Norris category and stayed in there and been really comfortable, not had to have a stressy prep or anything because pretty much all the weights I could have done already, like, and it wouldn't have pushed me. Whereas because I decided to push myself with the help of others pushing me as well, saying, 'Look, you need to do this.' Yeah. This made me hit numbers that I never thought I could ever do, especially my overhead. You know, that's been my weaker side, that my overhead has never um been as strong as like my lower body, but now we're hitting those numbers. Like, I got a 60 kilo axle on Saturday, like in the pouring rain. And like I like wouldn't never think that I could do that. Like a few months ago, I was at 50, was my max, and now I've added like 10 kilos to that, and it was even on the day going into it. I didn't know if I could get it because I hadn't done it. We tried it in trading and it didn't work, but we knew it would be there, it wasn't a strength thing, it was a mental game. Like I was in my head that this is 60, I can't, I can't do this, and but we got it, and well, as people will see, that I it was just the best feeling ever, and that I was in that lockout position and then cried so because I was just buzzing. I got it, and that's what that's what this does. It's just makes you allows you to do things that you never thought, never thought were possible. And like even people now that knew me have known me all my life, like they like I think I said that I know that I'm strong, but I don't think I know how strong I am, because still people that have known me all my life, they're like, when I say like I did a 180 deadlift on Saturday, they're like, what like kilos? And I'm like, yeah, and they're like, that's insane. I'm like, oh, oh yeah, yeah, I know, yeah. But it's because I'm just always pushing the goal further, and we always push it to the next one. Whereas actually sometimes I just have to realise she's strong.

SPEAKER_00 38:09

Real positive as well, is um obviously I know this from from coaching you is that um from the from the uplift project, like obviously we we lost some weight within that, but then through that time you have held your body weight whilst training. And I think that's a a really important thing to note, like off the back of like what you said about the nutrition, is like the post-diet phase is usually where people struggle, or even like you know, pushing themselves within like strong moment training and stuff, like you know having structured nutrition like allow for you to get stronger while still like looking and feeling good. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 38:55

And I think I'm still fascinated by the fact that I'm the same weight since or nearly a year now. I've maintained the same weight for a year, and that's never happened. Like I could always lose weight, I'd always find a way to lose weight, but then as soon as I stopped dieting, then it'd just all go back on, and then probably more. Whereas this is the first time that I've maintained a weight loss, but still fueling my body, still going out, still go on holidays. Like there's no there's no restriction, it's just being sensible. Like, and like you say, um, which is probably what this one of my favourite things that you say, like there's always cake, like you can have cake like whenever you want, and stuff like that. You're not missing out on certain things because you choose not to have it, and now I do choose not to do those things sometimes, and I'm okay with that. Like, and I think that's a big thing is you can say no, but still be present. Like, I've been out for a meal before with the guys from the gym, they were all going for a curry, and I bloody love a curry, but my next it was my check-in the next day, and I'd had a really good week, and I was like, I don't want to mess this check-in up, but I'm still gonna go, and I just ate my food before I went, and then I just sat with them while they ate, and there was nothing weird about it.

SPEAKER_00 40:18

I mean, they did say you're not eating, and I'm like, No, it's fine, and like so you can still do things with people, you just don't have to like like ruin your progress to still be present with people, and do you think as well, like because a lot of people will will only see progress as the scale going down? So obviously, you've maintained for a long time, but you've continued to get stronger, like that is huge progress, but like for some people they'd be like, Well, I haven't made any progress because my scale stays the same. But like, how does your mindset shift from someone who has been like that as well?

SPEAKER_01 41:02

I think because I've always chased losing weight, like that's always been the goal is I just need to lose weight, I need to get skinny, I need to be in this size clothing, and everything like that. But now that's not my goal anymore. Yes, I wanted to lose weight because I need I for me, I needed to to feel better in my body, and then we got to a point where I feel comfortable and confident in my body, but then now the goals are just different and it's not number related apart from the weight that's on the bar. That's the only number I care about now because that is seeing progress. Because if I can maintain a body weight but get stronger, then my body is changing. And like we've seen it, like I take pictures, like my back has like changed like ridiculous amounts, and I'm like, I like I did that, like, and that's not on any crazy diet or anything, that's just working hard and fueling your body. Because if you want to get strong and healthy, like you do have to fuel your body, which like it's taken a long time, most of my adult life, to realise that this is the right way to do it, but that the the scale weight that's not that's not everything now, like it definitely isn't, like it's all the other factors and everything that mean so much more now than what what a scale weight says.

SPEAKER_00 42:27

So, like off like to round up off that then, in terms of like your girls, then so what do you hope that your girls take from seeing you be strong, be powerful, you know, look after her body, like what what is that message?

SPEAKER_01 42:48

So I think it's just to like be healthy and happy, and I think the way like that is for people is different, and that by being healthy doesn't mean being restrictive, it just means fueling your body to then go play that football match or go do a dance competition or things like that, and to go express yourself. Like if you met my daughter Sophie, she's the quietest person ever, but she does dancing and she does shows, and you chuckle on a stage, and she's the most expressive person on there, and you just wouldn't know, she won't dance in front of us at home, but on stage she will, and that's what I want to like give them is the confidence to like believe in themselves and that they can do whatever they want to do. Like, I started this what like two years ago, and I just want to show to them like it's you can do whatever you want to do, you just got to work hard and believe in yourself, ignore all the background noise that says, Don't do this, you should do this. Like, do what you believe is right, and like and you can achieve anything.

SPEAKER_00 43:57

So, if there's anybody who is listening to this, especially who um might think it's too late or that you know it isn't for them, like what would you what would you say to to that woman to to wrap this this amazing episode up?

SPEAKER_01 44:12

Just do it, like don't second guess it, just just do it. Like, and if you want to message me or Scarlett or anybody, like to hold your hand going into the gym for like for the first time, like you don't like you don't need to be scared because every woman, everybody is beautiful and should have a space in whatever space they choose it to be in. And I found my space, and that is in strong women, and I'd recommend it to everybody because you don't have to be lifting huge weights, any weight is a success, and I think that showed our Lincolnshire's on Saturday that there was women of all sizes, all ages, all lifting heavy shit, and it was just the most incredible and the most incredible day. So don't second guess yourself and just do it.

SPEAKER_00 45:04

And where can the listeners find you if they want to follow your journey and message you and what's yeah?

SPEAKER_01 45:10

So my Instagram is at muscle mummy. I think is that all it is? I think so. I also don't even know my own Instagram tag. I think it's just at muscle mummy.

SPEAKER_00 45:20

Is it? I'll put it in, I'll put it in the book.

SPEAKER_01 45:21

Yeah, put it in the notes, but yeah, at muscle mummy on Instagram, which is where all my strongband stuff you can see pinned videos of like my progress. There's videos of me there when I was exercising while I was pregnant, and all the things in between and up until my comp at the weekend. And yeah, come be strong with me because it's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 45:43

Amazing. Thank you. Um, for the lifting, for the honesty, and for letting people see that you know the messy bit is not just the medals, um, you know, you proof that lifting is you know, can be for anyone and should be for anyone. Um, you don't have to choose between being a good mum or being a person who can prioritize themselves. Um, and if you are someone who's listening, like you know, you are allowed to want something that is yours as well. Like you don't have to earn it, you don't have to wait until the kids are older, until you've lost the weight, until it's convenient, like you're allowed it now. Um and if this hit home, if this resonated, um you know, send it to send it to someone else, send it to another um woman that might need to hear it as well. Um, thank you so much for listening. I'm your host, Scarlett, and I will see you next week.