We Built A Marriage And A Company By Owning Different Lanes

We share the real story of building a company as a married team, from a rocky first date to defining CEO and COO lanes that actually work. The visionary–integrator model, fast decision rules, and kid-first presence shape how we lead, grow, and stay sane.

• how we met and aligned on purpose
• CEO vs COO roles and why they differ
• visionary–integrator framework unlocking clarity
• speed of decisions and go with your seven
• preventing toe-stepping with trust and ownership
• bite-sized expectations for team focus
• dividing meetings and declaring point people
• boundaries, balance, and loving integrated work–life
• parenting in a blended family while building
• building a brand and culture through growth

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Transcript

Why Two Leaders Can Work

SPEAKER_00 0:00

In this episode, we're going to talk about how we run a company together without stepping on each other's toes most of the time. But just a really real candid conversation for us to have and share with you guys so that you understand how leadership really works. In this instance, um, I am the CEO at Linden Creek. Alan is the COO. And those are both very different but very crucial roles that we've really figured out how to own. So we want to share with you some of the behind the scenes on how we figured that out, what our day-to-day looks like now, and maybe some takeaways that you guys can have as you build and grow your business as well. Okay, so to give our audience some context, I think we should dive in and share the story of how we met.

SPEAKER_03 0:49

Are you sure you want to do that?

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Yeah, I do. Let's let's go for it.

SPEAKER_03 0:52

Okay. Happy to do it. You go first.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

Okay. I met this guy on a dating app. Um, no, but well, we really did. Um, gosh, years ago, we went to church together on an Easter Sunday.

SPEAKER_04 1:05

Um we didn't go together.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

No, you're right. We went to church and on Easter Sunday and sat down. Um, and I remember this guy sitting next to me. I had just gotten out of a relationship and he was single and showing up at church, and I was like, single guys don't go to church. This was my philosophy. And I was just amazed and impressed by um the faith that he had in God and thought it was really cool, but that was the extent of it. What was your version of sitting next to me at church?

SPEAKER_04 1:34

Oh, very simple. This is a very attractive person. Like, how do I get her phone number? But I I that's not that's not appropriate in church sometimes, right? I didn't want to be awkward about it. So we like left and went our separate ways, and I'm like, I'll run into her again, right? You know, um, our church wasn't crazy large, right? Or at least the campus. And so um we went, what, nine months? Yeah, never saw you. Yep, never saw you. Um, we kind of went our separate ways and then randomly matched on a dating app, right? You know, and because that's how we do it these days, and um from there went on our first date, which was horrible, but that's okay. Like we rebounded quickly from that. That's not your fault. It was just squarely me. Um, and then just kind of it didn't go well at all, right? Like it just was not a good date. Like, what were you thinking after that?

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Um, I called my best friend immediately after the date, and I was like, zero interest in dating this guy again, but really cool human being.

SPEAKER_03 2:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Um was my takeaway. Yeah, that's fair. But you didn't ask me on a second date. I was a little offended by that. And so we just kept talking. Um, went on a couple more dates, hit it off, and then this I friend zoned you. And we kind of played this game of friends not friends for a while.

SPEAKER_04 2:52

Nope.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

I did. Um, and and so we played a game of friend zone versus not friend zone and let's be more than friends and somewhere along the way. Um, just got to watch each other and get to know each other from a friend capacity. We were dating different people during that season. Um, got to see who we were as real humans without trying to impress each other. And I knew that I wanted you in my life full stop. Um, but you you have to be more than just friends to be in your life. Um, and so it it became more romantic at some point. And fast forward to today, we're married and decided to do business together in the process.

SPEAKER_04 3:25

You skipped over like a very cool portion right there. Like, do you remember the moment where you knew, like, oh my goodness, there's like something here? Do you remember where we were?

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:34

Yeah. And what we were talking about, right? And I think that really kind of sets the table for where we're at today. But we were talking and um having breakfast together, and you kind of asked me some version of like, what's what do you see as your purpose in life? What do you see, you know, that matters most to you? And I think I gave some kind of an answer of like, I just want to make a difference, and I want my kids to see me making a difference in other people, because that's really what matters, right? And I think my eyes kind of welled up because of the passion, and I think so did yours. And at that moment, it was like, not only is this a great person, but this is somebody that I could legitimately see myself spending the rest of my life with, you know.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

Um well, our goals were aligned. Like for both of us, fundamentally having an impact on somebody else's life, and a really big impact was like our why. Like, why do we exist? Why do we want to do life? And so having sharing that commonality, it's like you have to do something more with that than just exist.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

That's correct.

From Marriage To Business Partners

SPEAKER_00 4:38

So that was how we met. Yep. Um, we fell in love, we got married.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

Um, and then he had a job for another company um and was really good at it. So he'd come home, his team would like love him, the culture was amazing, he crushed their sales and was just like doing all the right things, and I'm a little competitive. And so I was like, why are you helping somebody else crush it? Like you should be over here helping me was sort of my thought. Meanwhile, he watched me run and build Lyndon Creek behind the scenes. What were your takeaways?

SPEAKER_04 5:09

I mean, I think my biggest takeaways watching you were, you know, um, how tenacious were you? And of course, in our dating period, we kind of saw some of that. I think you would go back and say that one of the most romantic moments that we had, as corny as it sounds, was like on a Friday night, you're like, I was like, let's talk about some budgets.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

And you were like, Yes, score. That's my person.

SPEAKER_04 5:31

You know, that doesn't relate to a lot of people, but that's okay. Uh, you know, but um, you know, really my takeaways of you in what you were building was that, well, first of all, you kind of laid out your goals early on in our dating. And um, I remember thinking this girl's a psycho, like, like really almost complimentary though, because you had goals that not a lot of people set.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

I think as a compliment.

SPEAKER_04 5:55

You you tend to shoot very high um and go to frontiers that people don't even think about. And um, you know, so I was like, all right, well, this is where she's gonna go. Let's just kind of see what she's putting in place to make this happen. And uh so throughout our dating relationship, throughout our engagement, and even into the early stages of our marriage, um, I was just impressed with um how you led people. I was impressed with how you could set a vision and then try to rally people to that point. And um, it's something I really, really admired. I mean, you're in a very creative space. We operate in a very creative space. We stage homes for a living, we help folks permanently design their spaces, but you really bring something that's lacking, I think, to the industry, and that is just the ability to have the business mindset, right? Your background's in finance, right? Um, and so really bringing the metrics, uh, bringing the math to the equation so that those who design and have that creative spirit can ultimately be profitable and successful.

Visionary vs Integrator Breakthrough

SPEAKER_00 6:57

So we made this decision, the very scary one to work together, which like very real life. There is something about the idea, like it's one thing to marry a person, it's another to decide that the person that you're married to you want to be in business with um and work together every day. That is like you talk to any married couple and they're like, it was an epic failure or it was the best decision I ever made. And it's one or the other, but there's no middle ground. And so I don't even think I told you this, but I remember like us making the decision to work together. And in my brain, I was like, let's give it 12 months. And if after 12 months it doesn't work, like we'll just go back to doing our own thing, that's totally fair, that's totally fine. But we owe this a trial shot. Um, and so you jumped on board at Linden Creek. We worked together, um, and it worked well. Like we figured out a rhythm pretty quickly. We're very aligned in how we how fast we move, what we like to do, what our goals are. So that worked well. But there was a time, I don't know if you remember, but we um we love our little weekend getaways. So we like ran away to the beach for the weekend, we're going for a walk in the morning along the ocean and we're holding hands at the start of it. And um, I kept talking about like feeling the pain points of work, and I was like, where are we gonna be in five years? We have to think about like what is a 10-year plan. I don't have enough clarity on it yet. And you're getting frustrated with me for talking about this 10-year plan and like somewhere along the line, we stop holding hands, and then you're going on and you're like, we need to focus on the next 30 days and like our projections aren't where they should be. And I'm like, who the hell cares about the next 30 days? Because if we don't have a 10-year plan, there's no reason. And there was all this tension, and we were so mad at each other because we're both like, you're doing it wrong. Um, and then that week, um, I was introduced to this book called Rocket Fuel. I love to read, you don't. And so I read at night and I read my cliff notes out loud to you so you get the highlighted version. But basically, Rocket Fuel says um that every business needs an innovator or sorry, it needs a visionary and it needs an integrator. Um, and those are two very different roles and they're very important, and they both are necessary because the visionary um has crazy ideas all the time. And if not contained or controlled, will like come up with a thousand different solutions and make their team go a million different directions and is frustrated that people can't move fast enough. And the integrator is the one that actually takes those crazy ideas and figures out which ones we need to adopt and makes them happen and translates them to the team. And it was this aha moment for us that like completely unlocked the way we work together. That was hey, we have to balance the fact that you and I are not doing the same thing. We're not the same person, we're not just duplicating efforts, but like you have a hugely important role and I have a hugely important role. And when we combine forces, like we become something much greater.

SPEAKER_04 9:45

Yeah, yeah, that's so true. Um, I definitely realize that. Um, and I tend to be the more emotional person in our relationship, right? You know, so which is really funny because a lot of times I can think very logically. I think that there's a point to that, and then logic takes over, but really philosophical in the sense that I want to know the angles and the whys and the hows. Why are people thinking the specific way? Why are they acting a specific way? Yeah, you want to go there in 10 years, but why? And, you know, what are all the mechanisms that need to be in place to make that happen? And so, yeah, I think there was a natural blend um there. You know, when I jumped on the company, you know, I was in a very operational, still being able to do sales stuff, but in a very operational role and trying to figure out how our Raleigh location was gonna be as efficient as possible, right? It's one of our favorite words, um, you know, efficiency, because usually efficiency equates to profitability, right? And and that's important. Um, and so we were just getting into the nuance of all of that. And I remember those first few weeks, I just would call you on the phone and be like, when are these boxes gonna stop coming? Like, when is this gonna stop? You know, and and you're like, just hold on. I promise you're gonna get the hang of it and it's gonna work. Um, you know, and so yeah, it's been quite the journey really uh to where we're at now. Um, that was when we only had, well, you just signed on your second franchisee at the at that time.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:08

Right. And so now we've grown to to 10x that at least. So it's um it's been the journey of just constantly implementing things along the way, really listening. Um, I think that's a huge key. Um, and then, you know, again, back to the philosophical angle, always trying to figure out why you want to get to a specific place. And then I go put the things in motion to make it happen, right? But we got to collaborate too. Like it's not just two individual people in two different roles. I think one of the things that I enjoy about not just our friendship and marriage, but our working relationship is there is constant communication. Yeah. Right. You know, if if there's something wrong, we address it. If there's something that needs to be said, it is said, you know, and I think that that is key as people learn and, you know, they want to grow their businesses and maybe work with their spouse, you know, if they've been married for any period of time, right? Communication is is one of the secret sauces to making that happen.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

Well, and I think one of the things that I love 90% of the time with working with you is um like we can't be at conflict. Like if we're frustrated because you left your toothbrush out on the counter, which isn't really why we get frustrated, but like, you know, if we're mad about something at home, we have to fix it because Monday morning at 8 a.m., like the team is looking at us and we need to be unified.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

That's correct.

Defining Roles And Team Clarity

SPEAKER_00 12:25

And so it it's like it's frustrating in those instances to be like, shoot, we have to work through this and we have three hours to work through it. So we better get to the bottom line of it. But in reality, it's been a great thing for our marriage and for our business because it forces us to openly communicate, it forces us to problem solve efficiently. Like we don't get to stay mad at each other because we have to be working together to get to the bottom line. And so our communication is like crucial um in order for our team to be successful and our family.

SPEAKER_04 12:53

Speaking of communication, um, why don't you talk a little bit more about a phrase we have in our organization? And it's it's known as the speed of Elisa. Why is speed important and what how does that play a role in decision making and moving an organization forward?

SPEAKER_00 13:09

So I think I was born fast. Um, like it just naturally happened. I I love moving really fast. I get really antsy. I'm the person at the mall that's like walking super speed, all of those things. Um, and so I always made really fast decisions in my personal life, in my business life, in everything. And I just thought it was the way it was. But as I've learned more and more, because I love learning, one of the biggest indicators to success in a business is the speed at which you can make decisions. And so knowing that now, we really are intentional about it. But if you know of a decision that you need to make and you wait six months to make it, your business is taking six months longer to grow than it needs to. And so there's this importance of knowing 70% of a decision and having the confidence in it and then executing it full stop, um, which is the speed of Elisa.

SPEAKER_04 13:59

Right. We call that go with your seven. Yep. Right. Something I learned a long time ago. But go with your seven because you know, if you're 70% certain in a decision, we can deal with a 30% fallout. And that's one of the things I tell our team, you know, is we don't want paralysis by analysis. Another thing, you know, that I tell them all the time is if you're gonna do anything, do something. Don't just do nothing. If you do anything, do something. Um, because that'll more than likely move the ball forward.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

So one of the things I think it'd be cool for us to talk about is what happens um when we step on each other's toes and like how we balance that. Because as much as I'd love to be like, yeah, we totally don't do it, there are a hundred percent seasons where we are tripping over each other. Um, so let's just kind of talk through how we identify that, what we do when that happens.

SPEAKER_04 14:45

Yeah, I think first of all, right, if we're talking about working with your spouse, right? You gotta be mission focused. Like you guys are both on the same team. We are on the same team. We have the same objectives in mind, right? We may get there and contribute in two different ways. But I know that you have the best interests of the organization at heart, likewise. We wouldn't be in these positions of trust if we didn't, right? So trust is key, communication is key, being focused on the mission. Like my my team, you know, I feel for them sometimes. Like I always have this serious look on my face and I think that I'm pissed. I'm not. I'm not. I'm just relentlessly focused on how do we get a solution to this, right? Um, because that's gonna move the ball forward. Did I say that correctly?

Speed Of Decisions And “Go With Your Seven”

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Yeah, and I think, you know, there are there have been times since you've jumped on board where we are in meetings together. And so it's sometimes I think honestly, it's confusing for our team because they're like, who do I need to tell? Like, do I tell you? Do I tell her? Like, which one do I need to tell? Because we're both sitting in, we're both giving feedback. But oftentimes those are our seasons where like we are learning each other, we're learning the business together, we're making sure we're aligned on the long-term goals, we're making sure we're aligned on the strategy. And then once we hit this place of like we're finishing each other's sentences, then it becomes a divide and conquer. And so we've had these seasons where like you and I are both sitting in on marketing meetings, and you and I are both sitting in on meetings for the shop and meetings for human or for home staging and all of these different things where then we hit this place of being like, okay, I own marketing, you own all of the operations, and that's where our sweet spots are. And so even if we're there together, it's like Elise is calling the shots on these, Alan's calling the shots and is your point person on these. And so continually defining those is key. But I think also, and this is something we do okay at, but I think we can definitely get better, is defining that for our team as we're we keep evolving so that they know the best way to communicate to us um and set us up for success.

SPEAKER_04 16:40

I think the tension there is the speed at which your organization is growing, right? And so what may have worked last month, oftentimes in your world of Mrs. Sparks, doesn't work in the next month. So again, that ability to quickly pivot. Um, lucky for us, you know, in this season, I've we've got a really good team that accepts that and understands that.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

And let me share a cool, like an example of like that shared responsibility is I think the other thing is you and I have gotten really good at learning each other's strengths and weaknesses. So one of my strengths is hey, I know exactly where I want us to be in the future, right? And so I'm like, cool, here's future us, go. Um, and you are really good at being like, pause. There are 25 steps to get there, and we need to make sure that everybody's aligned with those 25 steps. So, an example of this is we just recently purchased a building um in North Carolina to store all of our shop accessories. And so we've over the last couple of months been making this big massive move, moved everything out of our Raleigh warehouse into the new space. And I'm like, cool, this is what it should look like. Go. And you're like, pause. How about I take on the logistics part of it? Let's make sure that we give really clear direction on exact spacing of where shelving needs to be and what needs to happen and how these details need to play in because that's your sweet spot. And you are so good at communicating and coaching through that, where I'm much more like, I just want to be there. Um, and so we have we're also are learning, like, okay, I know we want to be there, and you're like, cool, let me lay out the roadmap, let me work with the team to get us there, and then I can kind of move on to the next crazy wild idea that I'm trying to implement.

Avoiding Toe-Stepping And Trust

SPEAKER_04 18:10

Sure. Yeah, I think one of the things we've also realized too is that our team thrives with clearly set expectations. Um, we call them bite-sized expectations, right? Let's take care of these two or three really important things and then let's reset the table. Because oftentimes when you're running an organization like you are, some run organizations are much larger than us, right? You know, it there's so much going on and it can be overwhelming really to your team members. And so really helping them clearly identify areas where they can contribute and make a meaningful difference, and then they can watch their own success in that way, and then they go take the next bite of the apple, right? Um, yeah, it's been a it's been a ride and it's been a journey in that way.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

So, okay, here's like the pressing question, question that I think everybody always wants to know when you're working with your spouse is um the B-word boundaries. How do you and and the other B-word balance? Like, how do you have work-life balance? Um, what boundaries do you set to protect your marriage so that Lyndon Creek doesn't take over? Um, like give me, I know you and I are pretty unified in this, and our answer is probably not the like typical one you're gonna read out of a textbook, but like give me your honest feedback of what that looks like for us.

SPEAKER_04 19:20

Well, I'll give you my answer from from my vantage point. Number one, like this world of yours that you've created existed before I came into it. And so I think acknowledging that fact when you're with your spouse, like whatever stage you may be in, I think is key. And this is a big vision and a big dream of yours. Who am I to come in and rob you of that, right? And try to reset expectations. And so I knew very early on that this was a part of you, which was an extension a part of our family and our children's lives. And so, whatever it took to get there, right, we were unified in that attitude and that mission. Um, you know, like what boundaries do we have? I'm gonna be honest, like I I we don't in that way, right? We don't, we don't. And that's not I'm not given some kind of kitschy answer here. We love what we do, we love who we do it with, we love who we do it for. I think I thrive in constantly being able to make um definitive decisions, if you will, right? And like let's get to a place where we've made a decision and then we shove it, we move forward. We have clarity, right? We talked about that. Um, and I think you enjoy that too, because that clarity helps push towards that vision that you've implemented. Um so I think it's a good balance there, but from a boundary standpoint, right? I I don't know if we have any clear ones. We we don't have a like a list that we sit down with and say, like, the phone's gotta go away at seven and and whatever. I think you do what it takes.

Divide, Conquer, And Bite-Sized Expectations

SPEAKER_00 20:46

No, I know, and it it's a little weird, but like this weekend I was gone traveling for work. Um, and you were like, I'm spending my Saturday and I'm gonna go close some deals. And in my brain, I'm like, he loves me. Like that's his equation of loving me is like doing this work because it's what's best for our family and it's getting the ball moving forward. But I love what I do. I love working. Um, and I know not everybody is like that, and you don't have to be like that. But my happy place more than being on a golf course, more than doing 90% of things out there, would be to sit and work on business or learn around business 20 hours a day, seven days a week if I could.

SPEAKER_02 21:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

Um, and so it really comes down to like, I don't feel like I need to put work away because it's exhausting. I love what I do, and so I put it away if something else becomes a priority. We've had weird, you know, one-off seasons here and there where you're just like, I just need to not hear the word Lending Creek. And I'm like, cool, got it. But it's like three hours, and then we're back at conversations all over the board about the kids, about work, about travel plans, whatever it may be. Um, and oftentimes, like Sundays, I'll use it a little bit as my reset, but my reset day tends to be like a day that I end up visioning all day. And I'm like, who are we? Where are we gonna be? What is this gonna look like? And that's freeing and that's fulfilling. And so we are this very blended. Life of like one minute we're talking about the kids, the next minute we're talking about work, the next minute we're like smiling and joking and talking about how much we love our team and a fun story from the day. It just is very integrated to say that like 50% of our time is doing this and 20% is doing that is just not realistic. Everything is part of our life and we do it all all the time. Um, but it works for us.

SPEAKER_04 22:22

Yeah, yeah, it does. I mean, I I joke with people all the time and say that I never had in interior design and home staging on my bingo card to be on my resume, right? Um, but I I think more so than loving what you do, at least for me, I I love who I do it with, our team. I love watching them achieve success. Like that's my biggest personal why in life. Like to watch the leadership of our organization continue to adapt and grow toward this crazy vision that you've set um gives me immense satisfaction.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

So I love and I'll take it a step further. I mean, like you, when you get to connect with our franchise owners, like it fuels you. Like you become a different version of yourself, you get more amped and more excited. That is the thing that like gives you satisfaction through and through is developing these people and watching who they are becoming and celebrating their successes, which again is like we are two totally different people. We lead two totally different ways, but both are necessary to propel our organization forward. Yeah. Okay, one final pressing question. Okay. Um, talk, let's talk about the kiddos. So how what someday I need to get them on this podcast, but like, what is it like having them be in a home where like we're so integrated with business is such a big part of it? How do we balance being good parents in the midst of all this? What does that look like?

SPEAKER_04 23:39

Yeah, so I, you know, for the audience to really understand too as well, like we're a blended family as well, right? You know, you have two beautiful children. Um, I have two as well. And so really the dynamics of that can be challenging for anybody in any situation. Um, I'll stop here and give a huge shout out to those four kids because they they're unbelievable. I'm gonna get emotional in a second because I love those kids. Um, they're great kids in so many different ways. And I think that they give us a lot of grace. You know, this isn't a parenting podcast, but I think oftentimes as parents, we're very hard on ourselves because we set expectations that we think our kids have for us. When in reality, I think they are just they have a God-given amount of grace that they extend to their parents. So for any parents like watching this, like give yourself some grace because your kids are, they just don't know it. Um, and so just do your best. I think our kids understand where we're trying to go in in the small nuanced way that they can, you know. The oldest is 14, you know, um, and the youngest is six in our family. So, you know, as much as they can understand, but be present when they're there. Um, you know, I think last night you took the girls and you were doing some paint slapping thing. Yeah, we were covered in paint and decorating some art.

Boundaries, Balance, And Loving The Work

SPEAKER_00 24:49

And and like you and I were having a Lyndon Creek conversation, and I said, pause, I gotta go be mom for the next 45 minutes. Yeah, that's great. And we unplugged and we reconnected later that night. That's right. You know, it is just it's focusing on kids when you need to, but also helping them see and like getting to have a front row seat at building this business. You know, there are so many times I look back and I had so much mom guilt around, shoot, my kids are in the warehouse with me on a Saturday because totes have to be packed or whatever it may be, or like I wish that I could be more present. But what I realize now, you know, eight years in after I've watched them grow up is they're they don't resent it. They learn from it. They they know more about business than many people do, and they know how to speak to a customer and they understand profitability and they know things about staffing and leadership and strategies. And so all I've done along this way is taught them how to be successful someday when they we kick them out of the nest and go out on their own. And so it's giving yourself grace and understanding that like we're just exposing them to things and concepts that they get to learn at an earlier age. And we have team members that are um children of entrepreneurs. And I will say oftentimes some of those are our favorites in the respect that they get it. They have a different level of grace and understanding for us and our imperfections, right? Um, and the drive and the hustle. And and that's something I never take for granted. But I think if I can raise kiddos that are like those team members, we're doing something right.

SPEAKER_03 26:17

Yeah, I would agree with that. I would agree with that.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

We are really in the season of building. Um, and you know, like this is our real life behind the scenes while we're building. We are trying to build a brand that is as strong as the designs that we're putting out in front of our customers. Um, and building that infrastructure behind the scenes takes hard work. It takes lessons learned. Um, but that is where we are today. And I'm hopeful that at least some of these conversations maybe gave you some transparency on who we really are, but also things that you can adopt as you're bringing up a leadership team. Some of these apply just to husbands and wives, sure, um, or spouses, but some of these are real conversations that you have with your leadership team as well. Thanks for spending this time with us. I hope that it provided value in your life. That is really our goal on the regular, is like, how do we just add more value? So hopefully this was valuable to you. Don't forget to like and subscribe. But if you found value in this, comment down below that gives us more feedback on how we can deliver for you better. Thanks.