What It Really Takes To Support An Entrepreneur Spouse

Being married to an entrepreneur is a real commitment to speed, pivots, and a future you can’t fully see yet. We talk through how we stay aligned as Linden Creek grows, and what grace, sacrifice, and shared mission look like in real life.
• the surprise of entrepreneurial speed and fast decision-making 
• the hardest part no one talks about, uncertainty and constant change 
• using grace to stay steady when the pace feels relentless 
• being the wind at your spouse’s sail instead of an obstacle 
• admiration for bold vision and the tension of “never good enough” 
• the exhausting reality of supporting the visionary and the team 
• sacrifice, deferred gratification, and reinvesting in the business 
• turning “your mission” into “our mission” for long-term momentum 
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Transcript

Supporting Role Versus Shared Mission

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Being married to an entrepreneur is not a supporting role. It's a commitment, right? It's a commitment to somebody else's timeline, somebody else's vision, somebody else's goals. And those who tolerate it, they're kind of successful. It's the ones that are bought in to the mission, the mindset, and the movement that will have the most success, right? Because the mission becomes one with two people operating at high speed.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Welcome back to In Good Space. I am Elisa Sparks, the founder and CEO of Lyndon Creek, and I have with me my husband, Mr. Alan Sparks, who is our COO. But today's conversation is going to be a little different. We're going to kind of flip the mic over for Alan to share because this is a story only he can tell today. What I want to deep dive into is real life. What is it like to be married to an entrepreneur?

SPEAKER_00 0:50

You ready to do this?

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Let's do it. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Let's have a day.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

All right, I'm going to kick off with a starter question. Okay. When you married me, um, and you really started to actually see what was happening behind the scenes.

unknown 1:13

Speed.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

I was gonna say, what surprised you? What surprised you the most um that you didn't maybe see coming early on?

SPEAKER_00 1:20

I said it fast because that's how we operate. No, it was it was your speed. Um, it was the speed at which with which you made decisions, um, the way you worked, the way you delivered, the way you communicated. Um, I thought I had a decent work ethic, um, worked hard my whole life and so forth, and then then I met you. And that's just a different level. It's a different clip. Um, so I think that was probably the biggest surprise for me was your speed.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Yeah, I think that's a fair assessment. Um, I definitely don't do things slow. I mean, even our dating relationship was like that. I was like, I you should know if you're gonna marry somebody in nine months, and if not, like, why are you wasting your time? Everything that I do is fast. I think sometimes, um, from an entrepreneur perspective, one thing you learn really quickly is you get rewarded for speed. Like the quicker you are at making decisions, oftentimes the more successful you are. Um, and that's you know what you hear in all the business books and from you know the experts and the veterans in the industry. And so it's one of those things where I've just obsessed over like speed of decision making, speed of execution, and was like, hey, you know, I move fast, and you're like, hey, cool. And then yes. And that's where we are today. But um, you're getting faster too. Like your speed is is executing in a quicker way. I heard you the other day and be like, this is moving slower than I want. And I was like, he's never said that before. Like, we're making really good headway over here.

SPEAKER_00 2:45

I can be trained.

Living With The Uncertain Future

SPEAKER_01 2:46

That's right. Okay, so when your wife is building something kind of at to this size and scale, what's the hardest part that like no one actually talks about?

SPEAKER_00 2:56

I think the future. Um, you know, because I think it to narrow that down a little bit, maybe it's a preconceived notion, an idea. Like we got married, what life looked like then doesn't look like what it looks like today, right? And so, you know, I f I find peace and stability and certainty in a process. We're gonna start at A and we're gonna end up at Z. And so if we zigzag, like, I'm like, wait, what? We're we're getting off track here a little bit, right? But I think the biggest thing I've learned about you as the business has grown, as the business has scaled, there's different demands that show up that nobody could have anticipated. And so it's having the grace for that, um, the flexibility with that. Because we're both mission focused. That that's what I always have to come back to as your spouse, more than your COO, as your spouse is you know, this thing is going in one direction. And how we get there may not look the same as it did yesterday, but we always have to stay focused on that mission, right? And so um, that's gotta be my relentless focus.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

Any advice for others out there that are in that same season where like their spouse is like heavy hitting in that and they're struggling with the like this doesn't look the way we talked about. This is a pivot, this is a shift. Like, how do you how do you fill that grace bucket for yourself and stay sane when you're dealing with somebody like me, right?

SPEAKER_00 4:16

Yeah. Um well, you give yourself grace for one. Um, you know, I'm not as fast as you. I know what your strengths are, I know what mine are. Um, my job is to keep up the best I can. Um, but I think in this role, it's also to provide perspective that maybe you can't see because you're moving so quickly sometimes. Um, you know, but any advice I would give to somebody, I think it just centers around that word. I think it's grace. Give give your spouse grace that's moving at 900 miles an hour. They have a purpose, they have a calling, they have a mission, right? Um, get behind them best you possibly can. Be the wind at their sail. Don't be in front of them obstructing them. Get behind them. Um that's my biggest piece of advice.

Admiration And The Cost At Home

SPEAKER_01 4:57

Love design, but think like a business owner. If you're ready to leave your nine to five and want to do something that's buildable and scalable, check out linden-creek.com slash franchise and see if Linden Creek is the right fit for you. What do you admire most about watching me build this?

SPEAKER_00 5:12

That's a great question to ask. Your bold, relentless pursuit of excellence, I think. Um, you don't settle for good enough. You never have. You really don't in any area of your life, uh, particular, but particularly professionally. Sometimes I get caught in the tension of that, like it's never good enough. Um, whereas you're always thinking it could be better. So one would surmise that that is exactly what that means. But I think when I look at it through the lens of like uh again, the mission, right? How can we fine-tune this thing to make it better for our franchise owners? How can we make it better for the customers that we serve? Um, how can we make it better for our staff and our team that work alongside of us on the day-to-day? You know, I have to understand that, right? And so, but I've always admired the fact that you're just bold in your thinking. You don't think small, you never have. Um, and I think that excites a lot of people. I think whether they handle it or not is up to them. But I think people can initially be excited about a bold vision, um, about a big vision, and you certainly provide that on the day-to-day.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

Well, and I will like transparently say this, you know, I think sometimes it can be fun to like come under a leader that has a big, bold vision. You're like, we're gonna do this amazing thing. Like sometimes they think about if you worked for Elon Musk with Tesla or SpaceX, like you get to be part of something that is, you know, earth shattering. What we're doing is not the same level of earth shattering by any stretch of the imagination. But like, how cool to come and get excited about a vision. But there's a difference between that and like having to be married to the person with the bold vision, right? Like you have a really tough job in the respect of like the balance between yes, like part of this organization and and getting excited about the vision too. But like seeing the very authentic version of me that is tired sometimes, you know, or that feels frustrated in moments um because we're not going fast enough, because we're not pushing hard enough, you know, whatever it may be. And you are kind of in a position of like, yes, I have a job to do, but also I have to be the supporting husband. And so to like navigate both of those and to be okay being in that position and that role, that is not for the faint of heart. Um, and it's not something I take for granted because it it is a hard position to be in, um, harder than mine by a long shot.

SPEAKER_00 7:21

Speaking as your spouse for a second, I always remind myself that don't mishear what I'm saying, but it's like I didn't sign up for this necessarily. I didn't know what this was. I we we hadn't we couldn't see into the future, and we still can't see what three, four, five years looks like. But I signed up for you, right? And whatever that means, again, that's the mission, right? It's unequivocally, unabashed, 100% pursuit on what you're going after, right? Because again, this predated me. This this is not like something that we formulated together and and what have you, but this is a part of who you are. You are Linden Creek. Lyndon Creek is Elisa. That's they're they're so intertwined. And so when I can push both of those up a hill and help make them better, that helps me get my fulfillment, right? And that complements your bold vision.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

Okay. I have to ask this one.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

What do you wish I knew about what it's like to be on this side of it?

SPEAKER_00 8:18

I think I just alluded to it. Uh, it's exhausting, if I could be honest. Um, it is very exhausting. You are a world-class sprinter professionally. You run that sub-four-minute mile, man. You can get out there, you can make it happen faster than anything I've ever witnessed in my life, and very few that I've heard about. Um, the rest of us, you know, dude, I run an eight-minute mile. It's pretty okay for my age, right? You know, so like, but like you're so far ahead that I'm like, I'm panting. But what I also have to remember is I'm pulling a team with me that also runs at that clip, you know, and I'm trying to bridge the gap between how far ahead you are and where we are as far as implementing the million ideas that you throw away. But I want to I want you to hear me loud and clear. Like, you have my un undivided soul attention when it comes to pursuing your vision and your dream. Whatever that is, like you've got it, right? So I will run faster, I will run harder, I will work more ferociously, and I'll rally everybody to do the same. Like that's just part of it, you know. So give us grace, um, because we're trying. We really are the best we possibly can. Again, God gifted you with a brain that none of us have, and I think we acknowledge that. That's why you're the leader, that's why you're the visionary. Um, and we will do our best to continue to execute and implement that, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

So if you were talking with a friend, um, somebody that's about to go all in on business, right? Um, and is ready to kind of like make that massive jump, what honest advice would you give them?

SPEAKER_00 9:52

That's a great question. I would say sacrifice is real. It's it's a thing. Um, you know, the the putting aside of one's goals, ambitions, and dreams um selfishly for the betterment of somebody else, and that could be a friendship, that could be a a spousal relationship, it could be for your kids, you know, just understanding that in that moment there's something more important than your own personal ambitions. I think that that's true. I, you know, even from you know, um, you know, wanting to do certain trips or spend money on certain things or what have you, like in this season of our life, like we're heavily invested in the success of Linden Creek, you know. Um, you know, we joke with our kids, we're broke, you know, because you know, Lyndon Creek is constantly getting reinvested into so it could be the best version of itself. And I think selfishly some people could look at that and they could be, but I want this. And again, it's coming together and understanding the mission. We are one mission, we are one mind, um, and and moving towards that future. So sacrifice is a real thing.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

Well, and I think, you know, like it's important to look at that on both sides. Like understanding, yes, that's part of it, but understanding as the business owner, like you have to have that conversation with your spouse beforehand. Yes, because they have to be bought into it. Because if you're going to be making sacrifices, if you're going to be investing more time, investing more money, what have you, like if you don't have their full support and buy-in through this, it's never gonna be successful.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

True. So let me leave you with a closing thought, my friends. Um two people with one mission is a force, right? The minute it becomes ours, not yours, the minute you start working together, you just double the efforts, right? You get there twice as fast. Um, what's the old saying we've all heard? If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together. I think that's very true, particularly in this context, right? So if you're in a situation like this, certainly challenge you, right? Align with your spouse, figure out what the expectations are, sacrifice, defer gratification, all of those different things. Because again, if you're pushing in the right direction, you're gonna go places you never thought you'd be able to get to alone.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

Sacrifice is real. Um, but I think what's important to highlight is so is the transformation on the other side of it. So it is a journey worth making. If you are um in a supporting role of a crazy entrepreneur, um, I hope this provides some transparency and some encouragement. Um, and the flip side is this like if you are the entrepreneur that has a supporting force behind you, I hope this also kind of opens the door. I know for me, it sometimes you're so busy looking seven steps ahead, you pause and forget just the number of um decisions that are being made by that supporting member to make all of that happen. Um, so it's a valuable conversation to have over and over again. If this was helpful, subscribe. We want to continue more transparent conversations with each of you. And until next time, this is in good space.