Working Mom Guilt and Entrepreneurship: Finding Balance

We get honest about working mom guilt, why it shows up so loudly, and how silence can let kids write the wrong story about what our work means. We share practical ways to give kids context, create certainty, and build deeper connection with intentional one-on-one time. 

• the difference between caring and failing 
• how kids handle uncertainty more than busy schedules 
• why “fill in the gaps” stories can backfire 
• simple language that reframes work as purposeful and bounded 
• weekly one-on-one date nights with no devices 
• letting go of the belief that every business task is urgent 
• how our kids may see strength and impact in our work 

Love design, but think like a business owner? If you're ready to leave your nine to five and want to do something that's buildable and scalable, check out linden-creek.com/franchise and see if Linden Creek is the right fit for you. 

If this resonated with you or you think it's something valuable for another business owner to hear, share the episode! We'd love to continue the conversations. 

Transcript

Working Mom Guilt Out Loud

SPEAKER_00 0:00

The guilt of being a working mom doesn't mean you're failing. It means you care. But if you let it sit in silence, unspoken, it will shape the way that your children understand the story in ways that weren't intended. I've talked about work-life balance on a few different episodes now, and I will probably continue to talk about it because I think it's one of those conversations that frankly we glaze over and go, you just kind of figure it out. But there's a lack of true authenticity that oftentimes comes around this conversation. So today I want to get a little bit personal. I want to share some behind the scenes of what my experience has been like as I've juggled that, but also the honest transparency of the guilt that I have felt over the years, and maybe the fact that that guilt wasn't as necessary as it needed to be.

The Comment That Sparked Shame

SPEAKER_00 0:59

And those five words hit me hard. Suddenly I had this panic. I'm a failure of a mother. My children don't see me being a mother, my children see me working. I must be doing everything wrong. And the internal dialogue that happened because of those five casual words that were just uttered made me completely sink. I paused and I reflected, and I remember tracing my steps back and going, but wait a second, what about on Thursday when I was widely available and the kids were doing something else? What about all the times that I've paused and given sacrifice to work so that I could be with the kids? Don't they understand what's actually happening?

Why Kids Misread Your Schedule

SPEAKER_00 1:37

The first thing I've learned in all of this is that oftentimes kids don't struggle with your schedule as much as they actually struggle with the uncertainty of it. There's something really interesting. When you leave gaps for your children to solve and kind of complete a story, they may come up with different translations. Let me share an example of this. There can be a casual Thursday afternoon, the kids are home from school, I am home, and they're off reading books or playing with friends or doing something fun. And I have downtime. And so I'm jumping on my email, emailing back my team, responding some to some different things and handling work because why not? I have nothing else to do. But my kids take a look at that and they go, Mom, you're always working. And so one of the things that's interesting is I've realized I need to do as a mother a better job of communicating to them what work looks like and why I'm doing the things I do. I noticed that this is one of those things where when there was a downtime, I would default to pulling up my laptop and they'd translate it every time as mom just has to always work. But when I said mom's working because it's fun, mom's working because you guys are having the time of your lives and you should be having the time of your lives. But you say the word and mom will put away her laptop, all of a sudden everything changed. They understood it differently. They also understood that work is not necessarily a bad thing. They understood that work is something that brings me joy and pleasure. Work is something that I find to be a hobby. And suddenly that shifted their mindset and the way that things were translated.

Weekly One On One Date Nights

SPEAKER_00 3:05

The other thing that I found to be really important is intentional time with my kids. One of the things that I started to do is weekly date nights with my kiddos. One-on-one, no phone, no laptop, eye contact, all of the things. And sometimes those three hours we would spend together laughing and listening to music or going for a run around the lake together or whatever it might be, those moments completely transformed and impacted our relationship so much more than maybe the hours and hours that we could have been spending together where you're present, but you're not really present. Just coexisting doesn't necessarily translate to the same relationship development as that intentional one-on-one time. So my challenge to you is this as you're navigating this career growth with how do I also be mom at the same time, first, give yourself grace. Second, give your kids context and understanding around what matters most. And third, carve out intentional time with your kiddos where they feel seen, heard, and loved, and you've got a really strong and healthy pulse on who they are and what they have happening.

Sponsor Linden Creek Franchise

SPEAKER_00 4:09

Love design, but think like a business owner. If you're ready to leave your nine to five and want to do something that's buildable and scalable, check out linden-creek.com slash franchise and see if Linden Creek is the right fit for you. I think the

Not Every Business Fire Matters

SPEAKER_00 4:22

other thing that's important to note is the reality is if you're stepping away from work for a few hours on a random evening, nothing in the business is going to burn down. It's amazing how often sometimes as business owners we feel like every little thing must be a fire. And the reality is sometimes they're just little fires, and those little fires never stop burning. And so the reality is, unless it's something massive, there is always time that you can pull away, that you can really focus on something else and do the intentional thing that's gonna move the needle. And in this instance, it's the needle with the relationship with your children. Over the years, and after that initial conversation happened, I learned I needed to be more intentional with my communication. And I learned that I needed to be more intentional with the dedicated time that I was having with my kids.

A Daughter Inspired By Your Work

SPEAKER_00 5:06

But on the flip side of that, I had a conversation with my 11-year-old in the carpool lane the other morning. It was one of those mornings where we're both staring out into the windshields, kind of half asleep, still trying to wake up and drinking while I was drinking my coffee. And as we're talking, I looked over and I said, What do you want to be when you grow up? And I sort of braced for impact because there's this part of me that, to be transparent, subconsciously always felt guilty and thought there's no way she would ever want to do what I did. She's gonna look at this experience that she's grown up with and go, that's never who I want to be. And her answer surprised me. She goes, Mom, I want to build a business. And I looked at her completely shocked. Because for me, I remember reflecting on those years and thinking, there are so many missed opportunities I had. There's so many things that I did wrong. And so I asked, Why do you want to build a business? And she goes, Mom, because when you build a business, you are proving your strength. Because when you build a business, you're creating jobs for other people. When you build a business, you're serving your clients in a beautiful way and you're making an impact in other people's lives. And she goes, I want to do something big. I want to make an impact in people's lives. I want to serve clients right. I want to do these things to make a true difference in the world. And it

Turning Guilt Into A Gift

SPEAKER_00 6:22

was in that moment that I realized all of those years of that mom guilt of going, oh my gosh, I'm not doing this right, was actually me secretly teaching my children what hard work can translate to. That when we truly serve our clients, when we truly serve our teams, when we truly pause and reflect that the impact that we're making is something so much bigger than ourselves, we're teaching those same principles to our children. And that is a lesson that is invaluable for them as they build and they grow. Your kids are watching you build something. They may not understand what a staging company is, but they do understand what it is to be brave. They do understand what it is to work hard, and they do understand what it is to impact the lives of others. So rest in peace knowing that everything that you are showing them with your actions and your behaviors is an example of who they can be one day and the results of that hard work. If you're in a season right now where that guilt is loud, let me start by saying you are not alone. I bet if you pick up the phone and you talk to any other dads or moms that are juggling career growth with parenting, they feel a similar way. Let me also give you this encouragement and reminder that you are setting an example for your kids in where they can build and grow in their own life. That the challenging things that they do, the tough things that they overcome, allow them to be bigger and stronger than they are today. If this resonated with you or you think it's something valuable for another business owner to hear, share it. We'd love to continue the conversations. I'll see you next time. This is In Good Space.