"Take a break from the farm" a realistic perspective

Finding Balance: Taking a Break on the Farm

In this episode of Farm Life Psych, host Steph Schmid, a farmer, psychologist, farm wife, and mum, delves into the challenges of managing farm life, especially when it's difficult to take a break. Steph shares her recent experience recovering from COVID-19 while maintaining farm duties and examines the common advice to 'take a break from the farm.' Through anecdotes and personal reflections, she explores how to find moments of relaxation and joy amidst farm work. Steph also addresses a listener's question about the adequacy of her life experience and discusses the importance of combining lived experience with professional qualifications. She underscores the need for mental health professionals to understand the realities of farm life and offers practical advice on how to manage stress without necessarily stepping away from responsibilities. Tune in for insights on balancing farm duties with personal well-being and how to create micro-moments of peace in daily life.

00:00 Introduction to Farm Life Psych

03:11 The Reality of Taking Breaks on the Farm

08:00 Finding Micro Moments of Joy

15:34 The Role of Service Providers

18:24 Ask Steph: Life Experience vs. Qualifications

30:34 Conclusion and Call to Action

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Often the times where we might be struggling the most, where we might be feeling the most stressed and under pressure, is the theme or theme of take a break from the farm really all that helpful? Welcome to Farm Life Psych with me, Steph Schmidt. I'm a farmer, a psychologist, a farm wife, and mum, and this podcast is all about navigating the challenges, the joys, the ups and downs of farm life. I bring together my experience of life on the farm, sprinkled with my knowledge as a psychologist and research and evidence of the simple things we can do day to day to help us manage the stress and unpredictability of farming life and also find joy in the little moments. In today's episode, I dive into a few of those things in particular, exploring an interesting ask Steph question, which is around my life experience and whether I have enough, and I use this as a chance to dive a little bit into my thoughts on life experience versus qualifications and knowledge, particularly within the mental health space. So I hope you enjoy this episode. It's very much a me just musing off the top of my head. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. So please send me a DM via Instagram or send me an email. I'd love to hear from you. And yeah, let's explore taking a break on the farm when you can't really take a break. Hello, so I am back finally. COVID hit me real good. There you go, case in point. It was about four weeks ago that I got COVID. The first week or two wasn't so bad, and then yeah, the last two weeks between myself and the kids, we were just all coughing and splattering, and then there was still just farm work to catch up with. So if you saw on socials, I did have a bit of an episode up my sleeve that I was attempting to get out, which was a chat that I had had with Sally Murphy, and that is still going to come out, but it just needs a little bit more work on it because it's yeah, I think just some really valuable info to come out. So what I wanted to talk about today was something that I explored a little bit on an Instagram poll and a LinkedIn poll, really formal evidence-based research methods, but a helpful way of checking in with everyone else to see that things that I think about aren't just what I think about. And so, what I wanted to talk about today was this idea of taking a break from the farm. To me, and this might just be because it's something I'm aware of, it feels like it's very often one of the messages that is pushed in farming around farming mental health and business resilience, is to take a break away from the farm and to make sure you're taking a break. I've been thinking about this a lot over the past few weeks because it is just not easy to take a break from the farm. I ended up going to the doctor's last Friday because I'd lost my voice for about three days and I was still coughing heaps and just wanted to check in that it hadn't developed into anything more than COVID, and he said, Did you do bed rest as soon as you got COVID? And I was like, As much as I could, given that we've got three kids and a farm that still needs to run. For me, I guess the time where I was sick, one kids don't really do bed rest. We did have some time just sitting on the couch not doing very much. I did try and head back to bed as often as I could, but at the end of the day, um, my husband is down at our other property getting sewing done down there. He's been down there for the last month and a half or so, and we are just so dry here that sheep need to eat each day. I did spread it out over the days, but we'd spend a couple of hours feeding sheep, checking water, just the things that need to happen on the farm. And so, yeah, it just really had me thinking that often the times where we might be struggling the most, where we might be feeling the most stressed and under pressure, is that motto or theme of take a break from the farm really all that helpful? So I popped it in a poll, and turns out it wasn't just me. The majority of you felt the same. There were quite a few that said yes, it is a really helpful reminder because it is important that we get time off of the farm, but there were also a lot that said that it frustrates you, makes you feel guilty. I had a lot of messages come through from people who had actually had that message pushed on them from health service, mental health service providers, andor knew of stories of people that had been told that from their mental health provider at a time where it really wasn't possible for them to take a break from the farm. And the result of that was that they then didn't go back to that mental health provider, they felt unheard, they felt unvalidated, and it was just really unrealistic expectations put on. I think that's my concern with it is that just being told to take a break from the farm doesn't recognise that that's not always possible. It can lead people to feel guilty, especially possibly it's often that one partner needs to have more work, getting more work done on the farm, and then the other partner can't take time away, or both are needed. I was chatting with a friend who's a dairy farmer after the dairy prices had come out, and that those prices were lower than expected, and she said that a lot of other dairy farmers were looking at how they can reduce staffing, and we're kind of the same on our farm. We've got staff helping us out with seeding, but at the end of the day, it's a pretty pressured year at the moment, and that means it's really up to us to make it happen because that one or two thousand dollars that you're paying out in wages can start to really push the bottom line, which means that it's again on us to pick up the slack and keep everything else going. So, what do we do if we can't take a break from the farm? I think what I find really helpful to remember, or one of the ideas that I think really sticks with me, is that it's not necessarily that the farm is the problem. Someone actually reached out to me and just said that the farm should be your piece of paradise and a run towards, not a need to escape from. And I I just truly love that idea. I think when we keep reinforcing that you need to take a break from the farm, that you need to get away from the farm, that you need to get time off of the farm, it reinforces that the farm is the problem. No denying that the farm can be incredibly stressful, and the amount of farm work that you're doing all those long hours, or just even driving around and seeing it constantly dry all the time, all of that can be stressful. So if you can get away from that, great. But how can you find a way to get a break on the farm? And that might be micro moments, not getting away for a week, two weeks, but just finding micro moments in each and every day to really just be here now, and it sounds a bit wanky, I guess, to be honest. But when we actually can stop and get present, I think that's where the farm offers us some beautiful opportunities that we might not get if we weren't on farm. So after I finish recording this, I need to go down and check the feedlot next to the house and clean out the trough and just check how the sheep are going there. Yes, it's farm work that needs to be done, but it gives me a chance to head outside, feel the fresh air, get grounded, just be present in the moment. And it was the same over the last few weeks when we were still out feeding sheep every day. It's that opportunity to be present, to be active and engaged, to also get out of the small stuffy room. I know, I don't know, when I was younger and even still now, when you're sick, you really do just feel like wrapping up and watching movies all day on the sofa. And it used to bug me when I was little, or when I was younger, and I'd have a day home, and mum would be like, You still need to get dressed, have a shower, it will help you feel better, get outside for a little bit. Like, no, I just want to sit inside and watch TV all day. But the reality is, mum was right, we do actually feel a bit better. While there are absolutely times where bed rest is vital, getting up and doing something is also really important too. It's kind of like a double-edged sword. In a lot of ways, it's shit that we can't take a break from the farm and that there are always things that need to be done. But on the other hand, it's kind of a benefit as well in that it does give us something to keep going with, and there is that something that we do need to do all the time, and so I think, yeah, my I don't know, it's not a quick fix change of just stop telling people to take a break from the farm, but I think we need to create it into a bit more of a nuanced conversation of yes, take a break from the farm if you can, but if you can't, how can you find those micro moments of joy on the farm? How can you find micro moments of contentment, of satisfaction? How can you just be present in what it is? Like, I don't know, just the the littlest things. My husband came home last night, the kids had had another few days off school with sickness, but we'd also just been getting tailing landmarking sorted so that it was done. And my five-year-old had insisted on collecting the tails. He had insisted on collecting the tails because he wanted to cook them in the fire, because apparently that's what we've done once before. So, first off, he counted out all of the tails, so nice little bit of mass there, and then got home and made a bonfire, and he cooked up all of his lamb tails on the bonfire, and just that chance for the kids to have a little bonfire outside while I was still getting things done, they were being supervised, but I could just do that and make it work. You don't get that in many other types of life, so yeah. Taking a break on the farm, I just for me, it's maybe more about that. How do we find breaks on the farm? How do we look out for those stories? I think so often it is the stories and the thoughts and the feelings that they come up and they hook us and they keep us hooked. Whether it is those feelings of frustration, that this isn't fair, we've got it harder than everyone else, it never rains for us, the farming shit story. I'm gonna have to put a language warning on this one, anyway. But it's not always the situation that's the problem, it's what we do with those thoughts and feelings that come up and get us hooked, and so that's where we can just start to notice and be aware of what's hooking us. If you are noticing that kind of urge or that pull to get away from the farm, maybe see what happened, like just notice that and observe it. It might be that your body and your mind is saying, I really need a break, we need to get away from the farm, however, that may look. So listen to it and make a way to get a break. But it might also be finding a way to catch those micro breaks through the day, um, to step out of your mind, to catch those thoughts when they come up, those stories of this is too hard, why are we doing this? I just want to get a break. Like, notice those stories, notice those thoughts and see what happens if you can observe them, but then like loosen your grip on them a little bit instead of holding them onto really tightly, just let go of them slightly. I think the other thing that's really important in this conversation is the role of service providers and health providers and mental health professionals, and I think that's where it's important that the messaging does change, because if we're sharing messages with our clients, with our patients, of just taking a break from the farm, then as I said, this can serve to alienate them or really not validate their experience. If you are a mental health provider or a service provider listening, I would just start with like curiosity, and instead of just coming in with a prescriptive thing of this is what you should be doing, really get curious about what does day-to-day life look like on the farm at the moment, because getting a break might not be the most practical thing that could be done, but then exploring okay, well, what are some ways of helping your client, helping your colleague to just manage the load of what they're carrying right now? I think sometimes we underestimate the power of validation. So if someone's having a really, really tough time, rather than necessarily telling them how to fix it straight away, but validating how tough it is right now. Validating how exhausted they sound, how exhausted they must be, how worried they sound, or how concerned, validate their feelings of anxiety. But you can validate without needing to come in with an immediate fix because I think what can happen is once our feelings and once our experience is validated, then it opens up space for us as an individual to then be able to see some steps of what we might be able to do next. Okay, so that's some musings from me on the take a break. I would love to hear your thoughts on this one. So send me a message on Instagram or on LinkedIn. Share your thoughts on the take a break and idea in farming because I think this is a conversation we need to have more of. And if you can't take a break right now, I see you, I'm here with you, and please just make sure you are taking care of yourself in the most micro ways that you can. To be honest, when I first read it, I was not offended as such, but a little bit like, oh, really? That's an interesting one. And I guess maybe a little bit of imposter syndrome flared up. Then I thought it's a really good opportunity to share a little bit of my life experience, but also some thoughts I have around life experience. So the question that was shared for the Ask Steph is Is your life experience enough to be sharing information? As there are many before you that would have more indicative life experiences on the farm. Do you think farming is hard now or years ago? So there is a lot to this question, and it really actually could be an episode all on its own. I'll probably see how much I've always on for, whether it's a tag onto an episode or whether it's it becomes its own episode. One, I do think I've got a fair bit of life experience on the farm. I am almost at the point in my life where the farm I've been part of farming for longer than I have not been part of farming in my life. I while I didn't grow up on a farm, I met my husband when I was 18, and so yeah, I guess farming, and I'm now 36, almost 37. So I've almost been connected to farming longer than I wasn't. But I guess more than that, I am very hands-on on the farm. I've probably actually adapted my career over the last four years, especially after having my third son, to really meet the needs and the demand of our farm and what needs to be done there. So within our farm, it is mine and my husband's farm. It's not a family farm. Well, it is a family farm with us, but it's it's our names on the the dotted line of the debt and our burden and joy that we carry together. And so, because of that, I guess, yeah, I do, I am very involved. So I think over the last month, even with being unwell, some of the farm jobs that we've been doing, I've been doing landmarking, mustering sheep, feeding sheep. I actually haven't had a chance to jump in the air seeder yet this year. But usually, sometimes I do get to do a bit of seeding, have done some cultivating. I have done the bookwork for the last kind of 18 years pretty much since we met, but over the last couple of years I have to get delegated the main chunk of that, but I still pay the book, all the bills, and check over the books and do the bass and all of that kind of stuff. So, yeah, there is a lot of farm work that I do. I also don't think it's a case of is my life experience more or less or better or worse than anyone else's. I think one of the challenges within farming is that it is really so diverse, the amount of the the In different farming systems, whether cropping, horticulture, sheep, cattle, but also the areas and the locations that you're in. There is just such diversity, but there is also such similarities as well. And I guess the other thing that I think is really important to flag is that, and maybe I go offside with this in my trailer and the promo where I talk about that I get a lot of my life lessons from farming, which I do absolutely. But I guess in this psych in this podcast and in my work I do, I am also very much wearing my psychologist hat. And with my psychologist hat, I did seven years of uni. It's a long slog to get through to a master's in clinical psychology. And since I completed masters in 2012, so now 12 years ago, even with maternity leave in there, as a psychologist, I am required to keep up supervision, to keep up professional development, to keep on learning really. And so I think what I what I also see for myself is that it is my my knowledge and a training as a psychologist, which is probably what informs me even more in sharing information. I don't know whether this is just a rural and an ag thing or in general, particularly with social media, but it has become quite easy for everyone to become an expert, particularly if they do have life experience. But that's not always the case, and it's not always the safest option, I guess. I look and I go, you know what, I've got 18 years or whatever of life experience on the farm, but I don't have any formal training as a farmer. I'm not an agronomist, I've just kind of learnt on the go from my husband. Um, plus a few courses and conferences and learnings here and there. So I'm confident in what we do and what I do within my role, but I would not be trying to teach anyone else how to be a farmer. I would not try to inform you of what your cropping rate should be or what your feed ratio should be for your sheep on your property, because that is not my area of expertise whatsoever. But on the flip side, within mental health, there does seem to be this idea that if you've lived through it, you're equipped to inform other people. And hey, this might be controversial, but it's my podcast, so I'm gonna say what I like. I don't think lived experience is enough for both informing, but also the big red flag for me is when people solely with lived experience are able to step into coaching and various roles, because what people don't know behind the scenes is that as psychologists, and this also applies for social workers, most counselors, there is something called the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency, and so every health practitioner, whether they are a psychologist, a dietitian, a social worker, a physiotherapist, a nurse, people are required to be registered within their health body. So as a psychologist, I'm required to be registered under my psychologist board, and as part of that, I pay an annual fee, I guarantee that I'm meeting the requirements of that registration. And so then there's also a whole lot of ethical parts that we carry with that. And one of the challenges is that psychologists cannot jump on social media and make promises that they will fix your anxiety, they will cure your depression, they will heal your trauma because we can market and promote the services we offer, but there are a lot of limitations around the promises you can make and the testimonials that you can use. Whereas someone who has done a one-day or a two-day coaching training, and even if they are a bit longer of six months or something, people who are not accredited under a national board of some sort do not have the same level of ethical guidelines that they need to adhere to. So, yeah, I don't know. This is a bit of a beating around the bush subject, and it's not clear-cut and it's not black and white, but it's something that I thought about when I saw this question. Life experience is part of it for me, but it is also very much my training as a psychologist, and I guess what that training as a psychologist was was one being informed and learning about clinical health issues, also about our brain, the way the brain works, but also part of what we did in like one of the subjects in psychology was around almost like the science of science and how science and research develops and beliefs and assumptions have changed. I think it's really also more so critical thinking, which is what comes from my training. This isn't to say that you have to have a qualification to be a quick critical thinker, but I think there it is really enforced of looking at the data, looking at the research, not just taking the the latest article on Mamma Mia and putting that into practice or the latest trending reel on Instagram, or also again solely what works for me, because there are a lot of things in my own life experience I probably wouldn't advocate for other people necessarily doing. They work for us, they work for me and my family. They might not actually always work that well, but they're they're what we do, and that doesn't necessarily mean I'm gonna be here advocating for you guys to all do exactly the same things. So, yes, I do feel that I have a pretty significant amount of life experience, but on top of that, I have a I guess a strong belief or strength in being and my registration as a psychologist and and what's behind that as well. That wraps up today's episode of Farm Life Psych with me, Steph Schmidt. I really hope you've enjoyed it. As I've said, I would love to hear your thoughts. So flick me a DM, send me an email, and don't forget you can also submit your own Ask Steph question. If you have any curly questions, those things that you would love to muse on or reflect on, or those things that are getting you stuck in the juggle of farm, family, and life, submit an Ask Steph question and I will ponder it in the next episode. I would absolutely love it if you could leave a review and subscribe to stay up to date with future episodes. Until next time, take care of you.