The Silent Stress Crisis Affecting Midlife Women (And How You Can Fix It)

What if stress isn't just something you're experiencing... but something you've been taught? 

In this powerful episode of Discover Your Personal Power: Midlife Edition, Peggy Moore sits down with stress management expert, six-time Amazon bestselling author, speaker, and coach Lolita Guarino to explore how chronic stress impacts women in midlife and why so many women find themselves exhausted, overwhelmed, and disconnected from themselves. 

Lolita shares her personal journey from burnout and a health crisis that landed her in the emergency room to becoming a leading voice in stress management. Together, Peggy and Lolita discuss the invisible emotional load women carry, the pressure to be everything to everyone, and how years of pushing through stress can affect hormones, metabolism, inflammation, and overall health. 

You'll learn:
✨ Why women experience stress differently than men
✨ The hidden cost of always being the "strong one"
✨ How chronic stress contributes to hormone imbalances and disease
✨ The importance of boundaries, self-care, and nervous system regulation
✨ Why many women struggle to give themselves permission to rest
✨ How family patterns and learned behaviors shape our stress responses
✨ Lolita's simple but powerful CALM Process for managing stress and building resilience 

If you've ever felt overwhelmed, burned out, or stuck in a cycle of constantly caring for everyone else while neglecting yourself, this conversation is for you. 

Remember: You don't have to eliminate stress from your life—you need to learn how to work with it in a way that supports your health, hormones, and happiness. 

🎧 Listen now and discover practical strategies to help you reduce stress, reclaim your energy, and become the healthiest version of yourself. 

Lolita Guarin is a six-time bestselling author, speaker, and certified stress management coach who helps people turn their personal stories into purpose, confidence, and impact — without stress or overwhelm.

Here is how to get a hold of Lolita Guarin

https://www.beamazingyou.com/
https://www.facebook.com/BeAmazingYou/
email: lolita@beamazingyou.com
Lolita's books: https://beamazingyou.lpages.co/get-the-books/ 

 If you found this episode helpful, follow the podcast and share it with a friend who may need it. 

Check us out on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/@peggymoorehealthandwellness

Website: www.moorefunctionalhealthandwellness.com

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Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/peggy-moore-5b295247

Schedule a Midlife Metabolism Clarity Call 

Transcript

0:00

Welcome back to Discover Your Personal Power Midlife Edition. My name is Peggy Moore, and I am a registered nurse and functional medicine consultant and basically your translator for what is going on in midlife right now. And today I have a special guest, Lolita Squarian. She is a six-time number one Amazon best-selling author on stress management. She is a coach, she's a podcast host and a speaker, and she helps people understand stress in a way that feels human, relatable, and practical and not overwhelming, which I am so excited to talk with her today. Welcome, Lolita. Did I say your last name right? Well, first of all, thank you so much for inviting me. I am have an honor to chat with you, Peggy. But also, it comes to my name. I don't care about my name. What's the most important part is the message, right? Yes, yes. And I am so excited. So tell us a little bit about yourself. I know you have an interesting story, and I'm gonna let you share it because it sounds really cool. Well, thank you. I think everybody's uh story is very amazing because we are all so unique. And for those who are listening in, they're thinking, okay, where is her accent from? I am originally from Lithuania and I came to the US 26 years ago. Um, and I came here uh to you know plug those dollars from that money tree that I heard that it's it's somewhere like the whole forest, you know, you come and plug the money that you need. So I I I came from my American dream. I knew that if I will work hard, then I can achieve what I like to have in my life. And uh especially uh back in the day in Lithuania, there were not that many opportunities. Um, so I worked very hard, worked weekends, barely took care of myself that comes to eating nutritious food or barely sleeping and going to the restroom. That was my only one exercise. I laugh. But uh the when you really think about it, there's nothing so special about that. You know, it doesn't matter what country you live in, and uh, but if you have a dream, you're going to work hard, especially that in our society is being told you need to work hard and hammer it down and and give it all. And that's what they did. So the point when I collapsed on the kitchen floor, and uh the moment when I went to the emergency room, the doctor told me that was good that you showed up because you maybe not have been making it till the morning. And I was like, okay, uh, I need to start taking care of myself now. And I was in my 30s, so I figured I'm young. What's wrong? What can be wrong with me? Only the old people are sick, and um, I figured, okay, I need to start taking care of myself, and I did not want to take any pills, and also I just didn't feel like I was any different from everyone else. It's like everybody's hustling, the everybody's working. I was not like depressed that I needed some medication, and there was nothing really to treat except my hormones, and we can talk about that, but the hormones didn't like it, what I was doing. And that's my burnout and not taking care of myself. That's what messed up everything else in my body. And I started taking care more, and I became so passionate about that in helping others that I became stress management coach. And then later on, when I started digging deeper into what is stress management, I realized it has a lot to do with how we've been taught how to manage stress and what is stress is for us. And uh now when I teach and I coach about stress and how to manage it, it's not only doing yoga and writing your diary that it has to do with a lot of deeper things in life. And I'm passionate about that. Also, I have my own podcast and YouTube channel and all of that. So thank you so much for having me here because I I just can talk about that for hours. Yes, no, I love it. I love exactly what you said because I coach midlife women. And when I just got done with a webinar actually earlier this morning, and the main thing we talked about was the fact that we are taught to push and push and be the boss babe. And in order to be awesome, we have to not eat and exercise more and do all the things, you know, be the perfect mom and the perfect wife and the perfect person, you know, at church, and make sure the meals are on the table and the grocery shopping has been done. And we put so much pressure on ourselves for so many years that I do find that a lot of the women that I work with have had that crack, have had that, and I know for myself, that's why I do what I do. Why I'm passionate about what I do is helping women in midlife recognize that number one, those hormone shifts change things. But also there's lots of hormones, right? Your estrogen, your progesterone, your cortisol, your melatonin, your insulin, your glucose, all those hormones shift in midlife. And one of the biggest shifts, I think, is we have pushed our bodies to the point that they're done. And really the shift is learning how to manage that in a way that you can still have a full, enjoyable life, but not be pushing yourself to the brink. So I love that. Thank you for sharing that you had that experience also, because I think that's important. I feel like we women in midlife, and you don't look like you're in midlife, but I'll I'll put you in our group, um, uh need to realize. And yes, the American dream sounds wonderful. And yes, I do believe in hard work. I do believe that that's important, but we have to learn how to manage. Um, I also, real quick, talk to women who are like, yeah, I just need to get rid of the stress. And no, the stress is not gonna go away. We have to learn how to manage it. And our body is meant to have stress. We're meant to do, we can do hard things. We just have to learn how to manage it in a way that is appropriate and work with our body. So I love that you you are an author, like a six-time Amazon number one author. Can you tell us a little bit about that and then we'll dig into some stress management? But I want to hear about your books. So I'm if you're watching on the video, those that are on this side, what side it looks for you, those are the book collaborations that I contributed to. And then the others are about stress management that I wrote and self-published myself. Um, and that's all about stress, really, and uh a lot about the life journey that we all go through, and a lot of the stresses that we see in everyday life, and that we normalize so much that actually impacting a lot of our health. And I talk a lot uh specifically how women handle stress and what we need differently from men. So I would love to talk about that. But I also am very passionate about um helping other women to bring the story and do also self-publish books because I think when we share our stories, we inspire others through our vulnerability. And I want to thank you so much that you provide a platform for someone like me to bring my message and for your listeners to contribute and give themselves permission to start taking care of themselves. Yes, I love that. Thank you so much. I have a coaching business and I have several programs where I work with women and I I love hearing their stories, and so thankful I started doing this work because I get to hear so many amazing stories, but I also hear over and over again women that think they're alone. They think they're alone in this, and so sharing our stories is so important. Let's tune in on women a little bit here. I want to talk about the silent stress that women carry, the emotional load and just the mental load that women carry that men don't carry as much. No, there's so many of those silent stressors really. What changed? Let's go to immediately into something that we can understand that as uh very simple examples. Uh let's see how women were, let's say 50 years ago or 100 years ago. Um the women were not going to work, right? Women were at home taking care of the kids, and most of the time the household had few generations in the same household. Yes. So you can share things that you need to do around the house. Uh everybody were taking care of everybody's kids. I think the saying that it takes a village to grow a child, it came from there because there's always this community and women gather together, and it's just like you don't even have your time by yourself, probably. I would think it would be very hard. What we look at now that happens, uh, let's say the last 50 years, when women finally decided that look, we sick and tired of this generation to generation oppression over feminine energy and saying you are less than a man, you're less than masculine, you should do only the cooking, the cleaning, and the kids, this is all it is. Uh naturally, women became more driven into not just going and doing what we love doing, but we became very masculine in order to prove that we're good enough, we became men. And when you look at how women dress in uh what is the professional attire of women, it's not a dress, it's a suit, it's a suit, it's not a feminine energy. Interesting, and so how how is this related to stress? First of all, we know that women and men are very different, the energies are very different, and we should be different in yin yang, right? And work and the pursue of all of the things that we go pursue now it's very masculine energy. So what that means, it means driven by testosterone is the problem solving, is the getting in there and making happen. It's very out, it's very pushy. Feminine energy is softer and it's coming to you. We don't we're not supposed to push, we're supposed to be this well. We think about the mother and the feminine, it's always soothing and confident and just welcoming and the softness, right? Taking everyone else's in. Everyone else's. So then it became and it became so amplified, also, it says, okay, that's all you need to do, which obviously it took away that balance that we all have feminine and masculine inside of us. But also when we take a woman and we put it into a very testosterone-driven environment, women became physically ill because the way men and women handle stress is also very different. So if man is stressed out, he needs to have more testosterone. So for those women who have to deal with the masculine in their life, if the man is stressed, leave him alone. Let him be in his man cave, let him play your video games, hunting, cooking, whatever that you want to do, he'll bring the testosterone up. For the woman is the opposite. We need to feel uh happy, uh heard, we're venting. We always want to talk because we talk our worries away. Uh we need to feel physical touch, you know, dopamine, oxytocin, all of those good feelings. You know, after lovemaking, you feeling happy, you're cuddling, this is what we need. We don't need testosterone. And so when we go and we push and we say, This is what is expected of me right now, in order for me to be seen. So that's how I personally I would thought I have to be pushing, I have to achieve this. And of course, what I was doing at the time, I thought like this is I'm gonna just do this. And I pushed to the point that in that testosterone-driven environment where my body said, Okay, I cannot do this anymore, because I was not balancing um the hormones and balancing that stress. So I I love how you say that there's nothing wrong with stress, but we need to learn how to balance it. So if someone, now I'm sure somebody's listening in, like, well, that's easy for you to say. So what am I supposed to do now? I'm not saying that you need to quit your dreams, I'm not saying that you need to quit your jobs and now go back to the Middle Ages where you have to take care of your kids. No, I'm talking about that you have to take care of you mentally and give yourself what you need to give. So let's remember how I said, let's say 100 years ago, we had a lot of women in multiple generations in the same household. So the women, when they stressed out, they can talk with other women, they will have physical touch from uh from children, from other women. You know how we can we intuitively know how to support another woman. Yes, yes, but now in the household, we only one generation. Yeah. So when the woman comes back home after a long day of work, she continuously needs to work, right? Because who's gonna take care of the kids, the cleaning, the dinner, and all that? Because you cannot just quit on that. Who else is going to do this? And and when you, of course, there are plenty of men and spouses and partners who help a lot, and I'm so happy to see that that's changing now. But also, it's not only the cooking, the cleaning that somebody needs to help you. There's a lot of this emotional when the woman comes back home from a very high testosterone-driven environment, she should start taking care of herself. Of I'm gonna take care of me now. I have to be comfortable in delegating and not feeling ashamed that I can sit down now and do nothing. We should not be ashamed or bully ourselves into, oh no, I'm I'm going to prove that I'm the superwoman, supermother, and super business owner. And we need to slow down and be comfortable that it's okay to be helped. It's okay if we don't do anything. But also that comes from this generational trauma because we've been expected to do that. So now that's why we have this, it's is a quite an interesting mix. But at the result is because women specifically don't take care of the stress and they don't give permission themselves not to be ashamed of self-care. We have now the biggest mortality of women, yeah, it's not cancer, it's the heart disease. And the heart disease is caused by inflammation, and inflammation is caused by stress. Absolutely. I agree with everything you are saying. Um, I think that goes into boundaries and teaching women that it's okay to take that, to set those boundaries and have that time for themselves. It's interesting. Like I said, I work with a lot of women, and sometimes telling women, if you have to just take one minute, 60 seconds to step away, to breathe, to just be you, to just worry about you, can you do that? And some women are like, no, I can't even do that. It's really hard for them to step away for 60 seconds. Um, when actually I'd like you to be doing it for longer than that on a regular basis throughout the day, just to center yourself, just to get back to who you are, listening to your body. I talk a lot about that on my podcast and with my women, is we forget to listen to what our body needs because we're getting all this input from what Johnny and Susan and Rose and our husband and everyone else needs, is all in there, and we're not really listening to what's going on with us. So, talk to us a little bit about boundaries and about taking that time for yourself. What does that look like? What do you what needs to happen? The number one step that needs to happen is to give yourself permission to do that kind of allowance that acknowledging, like, okay, I need self-care. That's the first step, I think. And uh, when I start coaching someone, they come and they're already running multiple businesses and they taking care of the aging parents and the kids and everything. And uh, I give the same advice of saying, give yourself one minute, and immediately the moment when they start pushing back, I'm not asking, okay, so what are you afraid is going to happen if you're not going to take that one? Yeah. And also, we need to ask ourselves, where do we learn that behavior? They say, okay, so how do you manage your stress? Of course, the first one that comes always is I just have a glass of wine by the end of a day. And then I'm like, that's not fully balanced stress management, but how else what else do you do? And they just like looking at me like um I I don't know, I go once a week to yoga class with my friends. I'm like, that's not enough. But the moment I ask them, how was your mother handling stress? What was the self-care there? Now they can answer that question very easily. And then they recognize themselves of like, wow, I'm actually doing exactly the same thing, what I'm being taught to do. Yeah. And in the pushback, like with any somebody starts any diet or any life change or even any coaching, and they say, Okay, help me out with this, right? So you can buy a cookbook, but if you're not going to actually cook it, the food will not appear on the table. And a lot of those projects that we start in the dieting and whatever change, it can go for a week or two, but then they kind of drop out. Why? Because if somebody doesn't believe that they deserve that self-care, it's not gonna happen. Also, loyalties. If if my mother and my grandmother was stressing so much, and for them was the hustling and the not taking care of yourself, if in my family there is this uh uh idea of uh sitting down that's making you lazy, and how dare you? And then if you are different than us, then you'll be excluded from the group, hence you're going to die because in our brain it's all survivalism, then we can talk about whatever boundaries we want, but nothing's gonna be done because not taking care of yourself is serving you, and then I say we're so eager to kill ourselves in order to survive, and to please others. I think those are all very good points. I just did a uh masterclass on the shoulds. We talked about the shoulds and where we get those from. So I should a lot of that ex a lot of those expectations like you're talking about come from our mothers or our grandmothers or society. Um nowadays, we have lots of TikTok videos and reels telling us how we should be this and be that and you know, and all those things. And so when I talk to women, they'll be like, I should be better, I should do this, I should do that. And I'm like, you know, let's change the shoulds. Number one, let's look at where those came from. Where did those expectations come from? And what are the expectations that you want for yourself? Have you ever really thought about that? Some women will be like, no, I'm so busy chasing what other people want me to do. I haven't stopped because number one, I feel selfish. I feel selfish if I think about myself. Goes back to you can't pour from an empty cup. You have to learn how to um set those boundaries, recognize those expectations, and take care of yourself. And so I like how we both talked about this one-minute reset. And and I think it's interesting. I've talked about this um, I believe, with my daughter-in-law, is this self-care concept. Oh, well, yeah, my self-care care is I go to yoga, my self-care is I um go to the gym. And those are great. And I'm not saying they're not, but I think we have to recognize that self-care, and I don't want to say it's like not doing things, but it's really taking that time to get in tune with what we need at the time and respecting our body, respecting our time, respecting our energy. When we feel like we're pulled in a hundred different places, self care is taking the time to recognize what is that, what is important, what are those priorities, and how can I take care of myself. So, how does this chronic emotional Responsibility affects the nervous system over time. The body becomes sick. It gets to the breaking point when the body says, okay, I cannot handle it anymore. And as we know, the body keeps the score. So all of that stress and all of that bullying of cells into something that we need to go to that we believe that we need to do, it really just goes to the heart disease and all other diseases, immune disease, that we don't want to be there. And I think what I also talk a lot is let's start taking care of yourself before you end up in the hospital. And many have a problem with that. Yeah, I think so many don't recognize that a lot of conditions, cardiovascular disease, autoimmune conditions, even diabetes, a lot of that is driven by stress. And so managing, learning to have that self-care and manage that stress can prevent those diseases and helps live a happier life. So I know you have a process called the calm process. Can you tell us a little bit about that? I love you giving me time to talk about that because I invite those who are listening in now to think about any stressful situation that you have in your life. I don't know, it could be even you sitting in the traffic and it's not moving and you're late. Um I think it's very easy to remember because the word calm, you know, even there's a the keep calm and carry on, which actually later that I found that and was like, wow, that's it. Keep calm and carry on. I love it. So we're just gonna like be calm. And every letter means something. So the C stands for control. So now think about the situation that you maybe were stressing out before, or maybe even now. I hope not now, but we always have something to stress about, especially if you're a woman in today's world, right? So ask yourself, what can I control in that situation? Because let's just face it, we cannot control the people, right? We cannot control their actions, how they feel, uh, will they be safe? Uh, we cannot control politics, we cannot do economy or weather, or all of those things that are really outside of us when you think about it. What we can control is ourselves and our attitude, our action. So if somebody's thinking about this stressful situation, they can get uh kind of a little sad and think of, oh my gosh, you know, I can't control this, so this isn't. No, no, no, you still have a lot of power because the situation can change how from the point when you will change. So then we move to the letter A that stands appreciation or acceptance. And I believe every situation has a silver lining. And even if let's say it looks like there's no way you will solve, you experience more about yourself, how you react, how other people react. Maybe you discovered uh what uh this relationship that you're stressing about, you brought up what you need to work on on your boundaries or your values, or you realize that, oh, I don't like this, and this is what I like. So it situations where we have a lot of pressure and stress, really uncovering things that we need to pay attention to. But the key is not to run away or resent that or say, you know what, I'm just going to totally ignore it. And you know, those things that we cannot change, sometimes we feel hopeless and we think, you know what, um, this is will never change. And because we're continuously doing the same thing that we've been doing, we keep getting the same results. So then I recommend everyone to, if you have an opportunity, to sit down and really write it down the action steps that you are taking that has to do with that specific stress management, with that stress situation. And I'll recommend to uh write it down at least two weeks. What is that you do about that? If let's say there's a something that that is not including just sitting in traffic because it's just like a short time stress. Uh but maybe even the same sitting in traffic, how is that you react and what you do every single time when you sit in traffic? And then when you have your patterns, then you can see, oh, okay, now we're gonna get deeper into this. So then you go to the letter L, what I call it limit. When you look through your action steps, and then you ask yourself, is this serving me? And if it doesn't serve you, you have to limit this. Now that's very difficult for many uh to do uh specifically with the things that we keep on doing that we know not serving us, but because of loyalties to our upbringing, loyalties to um our patterns that we learn that well, you know, this is what we're supposed to be doing because that's how I always done it, and if I'm gonna change it, then people will not like it. So I need to people please, so I know that's bad, but I'm gonna continue doing. Then I ask my clients this question how is this truly serving you? And it could be a lot of pushback. It'd be like, What do you what do you mean? Of course it's not serving me. I'm suffering here, I'm all stressed out. What is it you mean? But we need to have enough courage to really look deeper because really honestly, we always do what we think is serving us. That's just survivalism, even if it is hurting us, we will do it if we think that it's gonna help us to survive, or doing the same things over and over, or somebody told us to do it, or this is the only one way we knew, or we will do something because to ignore it something. And that is the hardest part when somebody realizes like how is this serving me? And like, oh my gosh, yes, I know how serving me. It's making me feel less, it's making me smaller, it makes me please other people, it makes me uh not to take first step because I'm afraid of success, or I'm afraid how other people will look at me, or I'm afraid how I'm going to be seen, or have more opportunity and responsibility, and I'm afraid that I will not be able to handle that. And then we go to the letter M, which is multiplying. And when we look at that list, we always always do something that is helping us, and we need to multiply that. So for example, someone likes walking around the block every once in a while, and it's helping them to calm down or just enjoy themselves, the physical activity, something just walk around. How about instead of 10 minutes? Now we will take 15 minutes to walk around, just little something, but also it's a lot, it's very important to multiply something that has to do with our recognition of our own success. So it could be even in the same stressful situation, but also could be how is that you overall manage stress that probably you're doing something, but you're not acknowledging that you're doing because it is so easy for you that you totally discard it as, oh, it's not a big deal. I'm you know, that doesn't matter. And especially for women, we need to start recognizing anything that we do that empowering, we need to do this for ourselves. We're so good in helping our friends to feel great and support them. And now it's time for us to start taking care of and supporting ourselves and talk to ourselves as best friends. And there is something that very important also to recognize you know, the calm process is I I love it because you just by going through the process already will help yourself to gain more clarity, but also gain more trust in yourself in your ability to manage stress just by going through that. Because it takes a lot of courage to look at something that you're dealing with and it's painful. So count yourself a victory that you actually can go through the whole process and find help. And we live in today that you everything is at the fingertips. You can have any answer that you want. And we have so many coaches and teachers and online programs and uh friends and therapists and whoever you want to that can help you. And I guarantee that no matter what situation we're in, probably already somebody else went through that or similar, that we can ask for help or we can mimic or try to apply in our lives. But the key is to not to get stuck on thinking that I don't know what to do with this. And we need to give ourselves permission actually to help ourselves so we can get out of this. And if somebody is stuck in a situation and they are afraid to move, we need to also ask ourselves who am I honoring by that? Again, the same question of how is this really serving me? And if it's not serving, it's time to change. I love that question. I love everything that you just said. I'm gonna pack some of it a little a little bit because I loved it. So as a coach, we talk a lot about thoughts and what those thoughts are. So you're in that traffic situation and it's not making you very happy. What are the thoughts? See, that is the situation you can't control. That's something you can't control. You can't control the traffic is bad. But if you're thinking, oh my gosh, it's gonna make me late and I'm gonna do this, and I don't like this, and it's making me anxious. And if you're having all those thoughts, are those thoughts serving you? So I love that question. That's something I ask my clients a lot. Don't if they're not serving you, what is what could be serving you better? And I loved how um you talked about um patterns. I think it's so important. Do you have your client's journal? Is that how you have them recognize what's going on? Yes. Um journal, but also uh, for example, my the calm process book, I also have a workbook. So it's includes the not your journaling, but also going to all the questions if you have any stressful situation. But there's something I also want to add about the patterns that we learn, how to manage stress. And I tell you, uh, there was uh I was driving with my parents to Florida over the pandemic, and um it was a beautiful trip. We're just sitting in the car, and we I live in Texas and Houston, so we're just driving, and it was a beautiful weather, and it's vacation time, right? So we're just enjoying the ride, and uh there was no traffic, nothing. But then there was this one car that kind of looked like somebody from a side can say that, oh, they cut us off. And my parents just went into this rant of, oh my gosh, I cannot believe it. Why they couldn't, and it was just going on and on. And I was thinking to myself, wow, there was a beautiful day, everything is fine, and they just like going on and on about that. And I said, guys, I don't understand what is the big deal. I mean, it's not like we're in a hurry, nothing really happened. And my mom said something that I used this story for the first chapter of my The Calm Process book. She said, but what else are we going to talk about? So I realized in that moment, I was like, oh, wait a minute, this is exactly what it is. All of my childhood life, um, everything was blown out of proportion, everything was a big deal. And so I learned that. So many times in our lives, we talk about things or think about things that are stressful, and we actually stress ourselves more. When when you really think about it, it's not a big deal. So when somebody gets you know it is ignition in the situation, like, oh, how dare they, or something came at them and they get triggered, they need to ask themselves, will this matter in five years? Will this matter in one year? It's a simple question. But if somebody cuts you off in traffic, is like, is that a big deal? But we take it so personally because we've been taught to take that personally. Yes. So now I just if if I see somebody cutting me off in traffic, you know what I say? I say they probably really need to go use a restroom. Yes. Really don't even realize it. I feel like half the drivers don't realize they didn't do it on purpose. Like if I cut someone off, it wouldn't be on purpose. Like it would be because I was like, oh, I can get in, or whatever it was. But yeah, I love how you really um showed such a great example about learned behavior. And so I it's funny. I I have five siblings, and I've talked to two of them in the past couple weeks, and we were just talking about different things that we have learned now that we're older, that we're like, oh my gosh, our parents did that. And it's isn't something that actually serves us. So, yes, we need to change that um thought process and our behavior uh around that because it is not serving us and making us um giving us a joyful life. So I love that you talked about your workbook. I love workbooks. I love sitting down with women and helping them. A lot of times it's a thought process and it takes as part of self-care, right? To really take the time to look at these patterns, look at what's going on. This process that you just taught us with the calm is a process that takes a little bit of time and a little bit of thought and a little bit of introspection. Um, so I love that we will definitely put in the show notes where to get the calm workbook from. Um, tell my listeners how they can get a hold of you, what's the best way to find you on social media or through your website? My website is called beamazingu.com. I also have a YouTube channel with the same name. Um, and also just started a new podcast with the same name, Be Amazing You, where I am talking about how to shine your light and do less and be more. I love that. I was in a uh class a couple of weeks ago and everyone was talking about their goals. And one of the women's women said her goal was to be more radiant. And I'm like, what does that mean? And of course, we did ask her because the whole thing was on goals and what does that mean to you? What does that mean? And one of the things she talked about is like being more patient with my children, not letting myself, letting my light shine by not getting upset about all these little bitty things. Like, why am I letting those things worry me when my job is to be radiant, to be a light to others and to love my life. And I thought, oh, that's that's kind of cool. That's really beautiful. Um, so thank you so much for being with me. I learned a lot. I think stress is a big topic for women and self-care and recognizing that it needs to be a daily process. Uh, 60 seconds is is not enough time. Um, but if but taking 60 seconds, you know, 10 to 12 times a day when things may come up that are causing you stress, taking that time to really reset your body, think about what serves you, what you can control, what you can't control, and recognizing those patterns so that we can adjust those patterns and be able to multiply them. And I think is great. So thank you so much. Thank you so much, Peggy, for having me. It was great. Learned a lot. Thank you. Thank you. Have a good weekend and rest up. I hope you guys enjoyed this talk with the Lolita. It was wonderful learning about her calm process and about how we all need to take a little time to recognize when things are causing us stress and take some time for self-care to really self-reflect and recognize how we can uh change our thoughts to thoughts that are serving us a little bit better, especially when there are things that we cannot change. And um how stress affects the body of women, how we can use a little bit of self-care to reduce that stress, especially in midlife, to help us become healthier. So if you loved what you heard on the podcast, please hit the like and subscribe button. Make sure to share this with your friends. Um, us midlife women, we need to stick together and help each other out. So this is Peggy Moore with Discover Your Personal Power Midlife Edition.