Nelson Quest on AI, Authenticity and Relationship Building for Real Estate Agents

Nelson Quest built AgentFire from a mattress on the floor of his parents' house. No employees until 2015. Today he has thousands of clients and 80 employees.

But this conversation isn't really about that.

In this episode of Partner & Profit podcast, Grant and Nelson get into what most business conversations avoid entirely. The loss of authenticity in a world drowning in AI content, why people can feel inauthenticity even when they can't pinpoint it, and what it actually takes to show up as a real person in business today.

Here's what we got into:

• Why social media has become the furthest thing from social - 03:25
• Why copying and pasting AI content is automating you out of real relationships - 04:18
• Nelson's personal shift from self-focused to service-focused after becoming a father to twins - 04:53
• Why getting really good at something is the only path to discovering who you actually are - 06:10
• Why people are afraid to be themselves online and what to do about it - 17:00
• How to get to a point where people receive you the way you intend - 17:55
• Why you can feel inauthenticity even when you cannot explain it - 19:20
• Why being uncomfortable in the right ways is still the move - 22:13

Whether you're in real estate, home services, or any relationship driven business, this conversation is a reminder that the most powerful thing you can do right now is just be a real person.

Connect with Nelson Quest:
Facebook: facebook.com/ImNelsonQuest
Website: agentfire.com

Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share this episode if it brought you value!

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

You scroll through Facebook and it's like every single post you're reading, it's like, did this person really write this? Probably not.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

If you're literally just blindly copying and pasting stuff, you're not really building a relationship with anybody. You have to become really, really good at something. Like we can obviously see that something's AI, written by AI, video is AI. You should know. You should feel instinctively that there's something wrong. What do you think people should do today to be more human in business to build those relationships?

SPEAKER_00 0:24

If you're having to tell Chat2BT be more human, there's like something really horribly wrong with it.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

What up, everybody? Grant Wise here. Welcome back to the Partner Profit Podcast. Excited for my guest today, pumped to have an epic conversation about how do we turn our relationships into revenue. We've got Mr. Nelson Quest. What up, Nelson? Thanks for being here with me today, man.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Hey Grant, thanks, man. Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Of course. For people that are listening to this and maybe don't know much about you, just give us a bit of the backstory. How do you get to where you are today? Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

So I'm the founder and CEO of uh Agent Fire. Um, started the company in 2012, although I think publicly we see to we say 2013. But essentially it was just me when we first started out. I actually had two partners, things didn't work out. I was uh a typical like entrepreneur story, move back into my parents' house, was working off of a mattress on the ground, literally for a bunch of years. Didn't hire a first employee till around 2015. And then, yeah, maybe fast forward a little bit. And uh today we're at uh you know, we had thousands of clients, we have about 80 employees. Yeah, we're doing pretty well.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

That's awesome, man. So when I say Nelson, like, how do I turn my relationships into revenue? Where does your mind go?

SPEAKER_00 1:29

My mind first goes to just uh authenticity in the sense of I I think there's there's a way to approach business where you're just kind of you can kind of inauthentically be looking for relationships to move forward, and there's a way where you can like authentically want to enter into partnerships that are helpful, authentically like want to help people. And I think honestly, it these last couple of um years I've been working a lot with uh with the Cheplak crew, specifically uh Alec Chaplak, so John's son. And yeah, Cheplak was someone that I always kind of watched from a distance, but then when you kind of get close, I know you mentioned you've uh you did five years of coaching with him. You know, he's obviously insanely wealthy and exanely successful, but he he does like authentically care about people. And and and so there's a way, especially in this in this world now where it seems like, yeah, just people kind of are obsessed about money and maybe don't really want to help people, or maybe they kind of falsely project that they want to help people that don't. But I I think if you actually do authentically want to help people, you can actually grow a lot bigger and a lot faster and do a lot cooler things than if you're kind of inauthentically focused on those sort of relationships. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Uh no, I tell I think it makes a ton of sense. It's been a central theme in a lot of the conversations I've had on this podcast. I think I'm like 40 or 45 interviews deep now. And it's like giving without expectation is been an absolute central theme in a lot of the conversations. And what's interesting about that is a lot of the people that I talk to that just focus on giving and contribution without anything and ex without expecting anything in return are some of the most successful people I know. And they just have a genuine passion and the desire to help other people. And I think we were also having a fascinating conversation before we got started about just like the rise of AI and the authenticity that doesn't really seem to exist online. So many people are automating themselves out of relationship with their customers, with their audience, because they're trying to be more efficient or they're trying to do all of these other things.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Yeah, just automating themselves, like period. Like we're, you know, you and I were talking about how you scroll through Facebook and it's like every single post you're reading, it's like, did this person really write this? Probably not. They're at the very least, they were assisted by AI. In some cases, they're literally just copying, they're just writing something into Chat GPT and like they're copying and pasting like inspirational stories with a photo. It's just yeah, it's it's a it's totally inauthentic. And I don't mean to um, you know, uh insult anyone or or or or I'm not looking to I hope this isn't come across as just attacking, but it's just it's a yeah, it's it's sad when you you go through uh if it's kind of like where in a reality TV where it's like the farthest thing from reality, um, social media has just kind of become the the furthest thing from social. Yeah, it's weird and and I don't know, but but it's it creates opportunities like you and I were talking about to to actually like be yourself and be authentic despite this sort of overwhelming tide of inauthenticity that's that's happening.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

Yeah. What do you think people can do, you know, even just socially, to change that? And I think like you have an entire suite of industries that are running towards automation and AI, and people that are literally, like you just said, copying what AI puts out there and just pasting it online and trying to pass it off as value. And it's like I know you're trying to be respectful. I'm maybe not trying to be so respectful, like you would be a human being in order to build a relationship with another human being. I think you can use AI to do that, but if you're literally just blindly copying and pasting stuff, you're you're not really building a relationship with anybody.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

That's it, that's a really good question. And so well, I'll I'll tell you kind of a little bit where I'm at in life. So I'm 41 years old. I just had uh kids 16 months ago. Uh so they're you know, I they're they're twins. And so like a big part of my life right now is has been characterized for a long time. I was very like when I was single, I was very focused on myself. And I think the the world uh almost like obsessed with myself. Like not that I was obsessed with myself and that I wasn't like passing by mirrors and blowing kisses to myself and stuff like that, but you know, where it's like I wasn't thinking about um how I could serve. Like I was kind of the center of my own universe. And I think that's a negative consequence of the current uh like social media environment where people sort of become a self-obsessed, they kind of exist in their own heads, they're actually not getting out and having enough conversations with people, and that actually reduces empathy, even if they're like showing empathy on social media and what have you. It's just like it's it's just not healthy to not have conversations with people and not like care about people. And so, and I'm not a religious person, I would maybe like to be, but I am trying to kneel more in the sense that when I am focused entirely on just myself and how can I, how can I, how can I get my business ahead, how can I grow as a person? And I'm not thinking about the the things around me, and I find that like to to be uh like poisonous to my my soul, and especially as I get older, where I'm gonna, you know, die and disappear. To bring it back and to just put this into simple terms, uh, I'm finding that my place in this world where I am just feeling a lot better about myself and feeling that I'm a better unit is where I really try to just like kneel before things that are greater to me than me. So I would say that uh my family is, you know, first and foremost, just I I would like to exist less for myself and more uh for them. Uh and then even just in in business, we when you like really want to do a good job for your clients, when you really want your clients to be happy, it's actually even the best way to like if you could actually authentically do that and achieve that, it's the best way to grow as a company, especially now where we're in an age where if people feel like you've done that for them, like you've changed their their life, like not just delivered a service that was really good, but like fundamentally like changed or improved their their life, then they're gonna you know scream your name from the rooftops, they're gonna want to collaborate with you in webinars and stuff like that. And they're gonna want to help you grow your your business. And so it's kind of like the uh the last thing I'll say here is um you can, and this actually I think is a really good metaphor for for what we're talking about. You can hold the door open and expect for and expect the person to say thank you and then get angry if they don't. Um, or you can just hold the door open because you're someone that holds the door open. Yeah. So um, I I think that's like a really good thing to aspire to, to just be the sort of person that you hold a door, you you do good things, not because you're uh expecting for people to do good things back for you, but just because you do good things. And it's really easy to do that when you have kids and you want your kids to do good things and and and so yeah. Um like I find it's really easy for me, like much easier for me now to like eat healthy because I want my kids to eat healthy, because I want my kids to to train. Um, it's a lot easier, I'm finding to do a lot of the things that maybe were a little bit harder to do when I was more self-obsessed.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

It's very interesting because what I've noticed is you have what seems like an entire society or a significant part of society that is really only interested in themselves. And and it's to a point where it's like, well, I want to do what makes me happy, which is in my opinion, a crappy way to live your life. Like people that I think do things like because they make me happy, like happy is a fleeting thing. You know, I tend to pursue joy over happiness, and and what what gives me joy and what makes me happy are typically two different things. And then I think what's really interesting is we kind of live in a society that's like forgotten how to talk to people. You're kind of at a place now where people it's like, well, if I don't like that, I'm just not gonna talk to you. It's like, yeah, but like that's kind of the point. Like, we're not supposed to agree with each other on every single thing that there is. We're supposed to talk to each other, we're supposed to debate, and we're supposed to have conversations, and we're supposed to have intellectual arguments about you know what is going on in the world. And it seems like, you know, a big chunk of society is finding out that this idea that I've got to do everything that makes me happy is actually incredibly lonely because you end up on an island with nobody but yourself. And I think it is a fascinating conversation to have when you talk about the relationship development because your inability to authentically create connections with other people, especially in business, like you know, it's it's going to cause major problems. And I don't actually know that I know a ton of business people that aren't like super open to building relationships with other people because it's kind of like a requirement. But I definitely see it, you know, outside of business, where people are so just self-absorbed they don't want to really do anything else besides, you know, what's good for me. And um, some of the happiest people I know, you know, funny enough, are the people that spend their lives helping other people.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Everything in my conscious existence pushes me to want to just be selfless and selfish and and focus on me. And so I almost it's almost like a like a leap of faith to to know that I my place is kneeling before things that are greater than me, and then to just kind of act on that, just trusting that that's the correct path, even though everything in my conscious environment tells me otherwise, if that makes sense, or at least uh just tries to tries to shape me in it in a different way. But I'll just say that I I think with the proliferation of social media and technology and just uh the way that human beings are less and less social, you you're seeing it's almost like this sort of it's like it's like an organism. So so like everything is becoming political now, right? It's not that there's a puppet master, or it's not it's not that there's like a group of people. Uh people like to think that that maybe there's like a group of people that are kind of controlling and guiding the world towards a specific outcome. But I think this is just sort of a almost like an organic, just natural evolution of of capitalism, right? To where like the news in general is boring. So you had and and news is on TV, and TV, um, to be on TV, you have to make money. And so the news needs to find ways to get people to pay attention and and the way the best ways to do that are to sensationalize and to play on you know tribal biological instincts and sort of drive people against each other, and and so and this is but it's not it's not like you have any one or group of people that are like consciously trying to do this. This is kind of just the natural evolution of things, is where technology in the pursuit of money uh will uh hijack human like biological uh instincts and and use them for the purpose of generating more money and profit.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

No, this is actually a very interesting conversation because my like the question that's coming up for me is like you and I are both technology, but like we're we're we're own tech companies, we're we're super into technology, you're doing a lot of really cool stuff with AI, but I think it is interesting that we're kind of saying, hey, you shouldn't do that. Like, like to build relationships to be social. So I guess you know, an interesting question I have is like, what do you think that people should do, especially people in business are trying to develop relationships? What do you think that they should do to be more human? Not just like to be more human, but to appear more human, you know, socially to to grow business, because we can see this stuff now. Like we can obviously see that something's AI, written by AI, video is AI, but you have so many people that are like barreling towards us. What do you think people should do today to be more human in business to build those relationships?

SPEAKER_00 12:28

So my answer to that would be something that I think most people, frankly, would it be able to execute on because it's essentially like step one is kind of to find yourself, right? And I think to find yourself is actually an extremely difficult process. Like you are most yourself when you're like first born and entering the that like phase of curiosity to where you're exploring the world, you kind of exist as this like curious essence, but then slowly um society society starts like putting its tentacles onto you, and and so you know, like you you'll as a kid you can like dance freely, right? And then and then the second your your parent sees that and says, Oh, that's that's cute, like and then like a couple hours later you're in front of people and they're like, Hey Grant, why don't you uh uh dance again? Do the dance you were doing earlier. And now it's not like this organic expression of who you are, it's like this thing that society is kind of uh yeah, just like forcing out of you. And like so, but then now fast forward many years, you know, you're 30, 40 years old, and you have just these like layers and layers and layers of sort of just like false identity that have kind of made it very difficult to really understand who you are as a person. This is a big part of their and like to kind of explain that, what I'll say is I I think everyone has kind of a unique essence, and I think that that essence is shown most when people are lost in activities where they're not thinking. So, like for me, I I've done a lot of um salsa dancing, and like a big part of the reason that I pursued wanting to learn salsa is because when you see dancers that are uh you go out to like a dance club, right? And you see like two high-level dancers that are dancing together, they're they're not nothing is choreographed at all. Um, and it's like, you know, usually it's the the the male that guides and the the female that receives, and so and the male can just like gently touch the waist or gently do something, and then like if the if the energies are are correct and they're at a really high level, they're not thinking at all, and they're just moving so beautifully uh together. It's like it's like a like a conversation, but it's it's just it's just like free. And like you see the essence. And then like I'll um dance with girls and uh like some of them will have like a like a like a fire essence where they're kind of like unpredictable and and and and some of them will have like an earth essence where you actually have to kind of like move them and and guide them. Some of them are you know, so so like they each have their own kind of unique essence, and I don't think um, and this is that's where like I think you get really you can see this in in fighting too, right? At the highest level, um fight fighters will have everyone have like a very unique style, you know, like Connor McGregor and he was like peak Connor McGregor, just had had like a unique style that nobody else had, and now he's kind of had like layers of things that have kind of repressed his essence, like who he really is as a as a fighter. But uh you can see this in fighting. You can again you can see this anywhere, you can even see this in business where people are just sort of flowing where they're where they're not thinking, where their moves aren't like calculated, where they're not um necessarily like reading off of a script. Not that reading off a script is bad if you wrote it yourself, but um, you know what I mean. And and so so yeah, I mean that step one is kind of like, you know, how do you just find that essence? How do you find who you are as a person? And my belief is that you you have to become really, really good at something. Bruce Lee had a great way of describing the process of learning, which is essentially stage one is you look at you have a teacher, right, and you you try to just copy them as much as possible, right? You know, they they show you a punch and you're just copying that uh you're copying, you're trying to get to to where you're like one-to-one throwing that that same punch. And and then you go through the repetitions of that thing. And but the highest level of of throwing that punch is to where you're not thinking anymore. You're you're throwing it and you're actually able to infuse your own essence into it. So maybe you're like moving a little bit different, or maybe um, but but but now it's like you, you know, like so like someone has taught you the fundamentals, but now you're you're like expressing yourself in in free form. I would say the same is applicable for for business, right? Like in business, everyone starts out, they're they're you know, if you're in real estate, maybe you're reading uh there's a bunch of really good real estate books, there's a bunch of really good coaches out there. I mentioned uh John Chaplack a second ago, Alec Chaplack. But you know, you you start with a coach, right? They're kind of teach you these are the things you should be uh doing on a day-to-day basis. You do the things, but eventually you get to the point though where you're you don't need a coach where you're able to just kind of uh and maybe you continue to work with a coach forever, but you know what I mean. Like it's like if you're just starting out a business, you you have to copy foundations, like you you have to learn the foundations, right? This is true in in anything, and it's true in dance, it's true in boxing, like there's certain like foundational movements that you need to learn. The highest level is characterized by where you're able to express yourself, and so this is where you know people need to try to to get to. I I fear that in the current environment, though, people aren't able to they're they're just not able to find themselves or not able to get to that point.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

But most people or are afraid to. Yeah, well, that's good, that's a good way to uh like people are afraid to be themselves, like afraid. I'm afraid to be myself, put myself out there because the internet is mean. Like it's like, you know, people are not nice, and the internet's made people meaner almost. Like you can say a whole lot of stuff behind a keyboard that you wouldn't typically say if people are so living perceptively.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

That's where I would say, like it's important. This is like that would be part of the kind of the foundations you need to learn is that um yeah, you need to learn that you know how people are going to receive certain things. Uh it this is like basic stuff, right? That you know, if you're if you succeed and then you're sharing success, first of all, there's different ways you can share success. Maybe you share success in the wrong way, you know. Maybe you get this really expensive vacation and then you're sharing it, and people just are perceiving it as you just showing off. And so, and then there's like a again, like a whole learning process, unfortunately. Anytime you are engaging in anything social, uh, where you're posting something or you're sending emails or whatever, there's kind of what you think, and then there's what other people perceive. And and those aren't always the same thing. In fact, very often they're like two totally different things. And so when you get to get to a point where you can post something on social media and have people actually receive it in the way that you were intending, I think that's actually a pretty high level that's very difficult to get to. And if you're writing stuff with AI, you'll never get to that point. You'll never like figure out, I don't know, who who you are, like truly as a as a as a person. Like the only way to describe yourself, I think, is to just get really, really far in something, like anything.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Yeah, yeah. I feel like the essence of the message today is just try to be more human.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

I would say it's um try to get really good at something and and like yourself without using like you can use AI. AI is a tool, AI is potentially good at maybe if you want to write something on Facebook for for something for Facebook, you can have it evaluate like your grammar and sentence structure. Uh but you probably shouldn't. I I think I fear what's happening is yeah, people are never discovering themselves to begin with, and then if you're now just using AI to write everything and kind of do all of your thinking for you, not only are you not discovering yourself, but now you're just like a like a caricature of yourself, like you're you're not like a real person. And and so and and and then I think this is where again most people, if if you're just going through Facebook and just looking at the stories that people are posting, since ChatGPT came on the since it became a thing, like before it used to just be photos of people doing things and sharing a quick little update and something like that. Now it's like I don't know, half the posts I see are these like inspirational stories that are clearly written by ChatGBT with uh like her they're just I don't know, just the opposite of of authentic. And I think um, even if people can't uh like virtually discern, like you you were saying how your wife can't see the difference between like an AI generated thing, which like to be fair, there's a lot of stuff that's kind of tricky to see whether or not you tricky to discern if it's real or AI. Um, I do think you can kind of feel it. And uh like in the same way that if you're looking at someone, I mentioned I I won't get into politics, but like if you there's certain politicians where you can kind of look at their face and you can you can just see like they're not good people, you you can you can feel it, like they're they're not authentic people. Uh, even if you're not able to exactly pinpoint like what is it, you know. In in business, you start developing uh like a gut instinct for things, and that gut instinct is just the byproduct of you having been in similar situations, you know, hundreds or thousands of times, and then you start to, you know, you'll you'll be in a meeting with someone and you'll be able to, within the first couple of minutes, be able to say, Oh, this this person is like full of shit. You won't be able to exactly pinpoint why it is that you feel that way, but you have a gut instinct, and and so I think much in the same way, much in the same way you'll scroll through social media and kind of feel the sort of similar things. And so first thing you want to do is try to figure out who you are, which is hidden under years and years and years of society kind of just putting its stuff on you. And the best way to figure out who you are is to get really good at something to the point where you can uh just exist freely within that thing, whatever it is, even if it's like being a mother, like it can literally be anything. And then from there, I I think once you've discovered yourself, then then figuring out how to align how you project yourself to the world with how people are perceiving you is is kind of the next step.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

It makes a lot of sense. This is um this has been a deep conversation today, and I've uh I've really enjoyed it, man. I know we try to keep a lot of these interviews short. I have a lot of other questions, but I'm gonna find another reason for us to get back on and keep chatting through them. What do you think is the number one way that people could partner with you, man? We got a lot of listeners here that would love to support your growth. What what can we do to help you grow?

SPEAKER_00 21:18

Thanks, man. Um, yeah, yeah. You can find me on Facebook. I'm uh Facebook.com slash I'm NelsonQuest. My last name is actually Quest. I got it legally changed a couple years ago. Your actual last name is actually pretty rare too, like pretty like non-wise.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

Everybody's asking if it's my stage name. No, it's not my stage name, it's my birth name. Like, yeah. All right, man. We'll make sure that we link up the ways that people can connect with you. I appreciate I appreciate you spending some time with me today. I know, I know you're busy. This was awesome. It was certainly, like I said, it was very deep, very interesting conversation. And I think the one that's very necessary. The world is headed towards a very interesting place. And I think people, especially those people that are in business, you know, you've got to be careful about how you present yourself and how you carry yourself. But I think also you should just like kind of what you were saying near the end, is like you should care. You should kind of like rediscover who you really are, shed the linings of what the world's placed on you and and kind of reconnect with who you really are. That's that that's the thing, that's the person that people really want to connect with. And so this was awesome. I appreciate it a lot.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

Yeah, and I think key there is yeah, just like be uncomfortable in the right ways. So uh, because like everything about the current environment is just makes you feel comfy. Like even just asking ChatGPT to kind of like do your thinking for you now is is the ultimate like creature comfort. And and so, but you know that it's like you should know, you should feel instinctively that there's something wrong if ChatGPT is like writing something that you're meaning to if you're having to tell ChatGPT be more human or or like write this in a way that sounds more authentic, you should know that there's like something really horribly wrong there. So yeah, anyway.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

No, I love it, man. I appreciate it a ton. Thanks again, and thank you all for continuing to listen to the Partner Profit podcast. It's been a fascinating conversation. I'll see you on the next one. Peace.