The Identity Architect

Perimenopause & Menopause weightloss & strength with Alicia Reitz

Greg Fearon - The Identity Architect

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Do calories count? What about my body type?

Should my hormones be the key factor for losing weight?

How do I get strong?


Alicia Reitz - my good friend is on the podcast today


She drops truth bombs about social media influencers, menopause how to get strong


This episode is straight-up fire.


After this, you're going to want to follow Alicia

Insta:@angelishfit

Freebies: hoo.be/angelishfit


SPEAKER_04

Hello and welcome to the Greg Fairon podcast. And for the second time, I'm gonna call her by her TikTok, Instagram famous name, Angelish Fit. Hello, welcome back.

SPEAKER_00

I'm so happy to be back. It's been far too long, my friend.

SPEAKER_04

Way too long, way too long. What's been happening in your world?

SPEAKER_00

Well, uh, I'm in Canada, so it's still snowing.

SPEAKER_04

Doesn't it always snow in Canada?

SPEAKER_00

No, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_04

Oh no, we just assume it does.

SPEAKER_00

In the summertime, it's like Miami. It's great.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. And then wintertime is crazy, right?

SPEAKER_00

In the wintertime, it sucks. We're looking at we're staring down like the fourth weekend snowstorm in a row.

SPEAKER_04

So yeah. It's crazy. In the UK, we had like a teeny bit of snow. It's about that much snow.

SPEAKER_00

You're you're you're showing like an inch and a half. Maybe. Maybe, maybe. Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_04

It went, it went to pan, it went to shit. Like couldn't cope, everything stops. Planes can't fly. I just don't know how we cope.

SPEAKER_00

But anyway, are you are you guys still using imperial measurement or do you use the metric system?

SPEAKER_04

England's a bit weird. We're a little bit of both. So we have inches, but we also do centimeters.

SPEAKER_00

We just kind of so so we're getting we're getting snowfalls of anywhere between 25 and 30 centimeters. Wow. Every time. Every time. So it starts to pile up after a while. And I'm over it. I'm over it.

SPEAKER_04

In England, we wouldn't cope. We would it would be that would be it'd be over. End of civilization in England as we know it.

SPEAKER_00

So well, I'll tell you, the older I get, the less I'm able to cope with the snow.

SPEAKER_04

Then you need to move, you need to immigrate.

SPEAKER_00

I know it's just where that's the whole thing.

SPEAKER_04

Well, you know, I've got a client um who's a fan of yours as we're talking about Ingrid, so I thought I'll give her a shout out.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, I love her.

SPEAKER_04

She's awesome. She's moved to sunnier climbs um Portugal's a great place. Yeah, so maybe you should go to Portugal.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, the men are pretty hot. I'm gonna say that. Sorry.

SPEAKER_04

So what are you waiting for? What are you waiting for? Let's go. Let's go. Right. Let's talk about the stuff we want to talk about today. So just before we started, you were talking about a new enemy in the TikTok. Yes, I first I have a few.

SPEAKER_00

I so there is a creator on on TikTok, he's on Instagram as well. And I don't know how I stumbled across this guy, but unfortunately I did. And he has a lot to say about women training and how they shouldn't, like, what do they need to get strong for? And here's some exercises that women shouldn't do. And it was literally no pull downs, no arm exercises, no no leg exercises. And it's like, I I have a real problem with men that want women that have an interest in women being weak. I don't understand that thinking. And uh we were talking about this just before he the the video in question that I watched, I think I commented on it. Like he's like, why do why do women want to be strong? Why do you want to be strong? Don't you want to be feminine? Being strong is masculine. And I'm like, for my bone mass, asshole, like what do you mean? What do you mean? But the reason it it irritates me so much is because, and you probably find you probably find this too, Greg, is that it's so difficult to convince women to strength train. It's so hard to do. That just confirms all of their fears that they're it's gonna make them masculine, it's gonna make them look like men, they're gonna have these huge muscles, they're gonna have these giant necks, and and and he just plays right into that fear. Um, the only encouraging thing was there were a lot of women who were liking my comments and a lot of other and a lot of other women in the comments, like, bro, what? And so it gave me a little bit of hope, but I'm I'm I find that that is a battle that just needs to get fought over and over and over and over again. Like, you know, and especially with older women like who you work with and who I work with, it's you know, the big mistake, the big mistake is they look at carbs and cardio, and we should be looking at protein and pushing shit around. You know what I mean? Like, and and um it's it just annoys me when the message gets muddied by people that think they know what they're talking about, or they have and he's got a huge following, which is another really distressing thing. It's like, who's following this idiot? I don't know, but they can but they can talk out their asses and people go, yeah, no, you don't who are you?

SPEAKER_04

See this. This is partly why I left TikTok. Well, I still have it on my phone just for the odd scroll.

SPEAKER_00

You know, you feel like scrolling when your friends from Canada send you messages and shit, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Literally, I just have TikTok for you, basically. That's that's really but then you get all of this bad information, this kind of misogynistic type stuff this guy does, and it spreads like wildfire. So all of these people that don't know what they're talking about, they get great interests, and then we put out science-backed common sense stuff, and we're like, I've got one view, yes.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, I can hear the crickets around all of my posts, I can hear that. And the thing is the the reason it gets the exposure that it does is because it's polarizing. And the problem is facts aren't sexy, that's the problem. We're sexy, but the facts are not sexy, and and so, and I'm sorry, like I know everybody would appreciate this, but I'm not shaking my ass for views. I'm not doing it. No shade to anybody who wants to do that. You go, you go shake your ass. Go ahead. But I I I'm trying to get through the rest of my life without horrifying my adult children. That's that's all I'm trying to do.

SPEAKER_04

The internet has memory, people. The internet has memory, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And and trauma, you know, trauma is real. I can't they, you know, sometimes there's shit you can't unsee.

SPEAKER_04

So like all of the the stuff on TikTok, though, I just every day I just go, Oh my god, what are you talking about? Like, yeah, and it's something you asked me about earlier about how can a guy coach women and kind of the feedback I get sometimes because often I'll see creators talk about menopause and hormones and stuff, and I'm like, you don't know what you're talking about, and people are in the comments saying stuff, and I'm like, that's not really what it means, that's not how it actually happens, and they're like, Whoa, you're a man, what do you know?

SPEAKER_00

You know, but here's the thing when it's flipped the other way, like when women are coaching professional men's sport, I mean, it's it's not super common, but you know, you can know something without having experienced it yourself. You can learn about something, you can interpret the literature, you can do research on stuff that you're not able to experience yourself. And you don't, and we're able to understand other people's experiences through a little thing we call empathy. Empathy is your ability to understand things that you haven't experienced yourself, as opposed to sympathy, which is when you have experienced the same thing. But you know, necessarily not, you know, being a man doesn't necessarily exclude you from understanding how women, how women's bodies work, and how physiology works, and how the laws of thermodynamics work and how physics work. It's it doesn't exclude you from that, right? So that's that's what I was asking if you bump up against that often.

SPEAKER_04

It comes up a lot. It's funny actually, I was on a I was a guest on someone's podcast yesterday, and they asked me the same question about how do you do that, and I won't go into that now, but it comes up a lot, especially on TikTok. Like, well, what do you mean? Who are you? Are you an endocrinologist? I'm like, well, no, I've studied under world-class endocrinologists, and I think sometimes having not gone through the situation means I can step away from it and actually look at the blind spots around it. I think through something doesn't necessarily always give you the deep insights that you can't necessarily see. That's just me.

SPEAKER_00

Right, right. Yeah, I mean, I think I think all of us have blind spots. And especially if something is particularly scary or painful, um, it's it's difficult for us to look at things um from that perspective. So that's certainly valid. And not to invalidate people's experiences, I don't want to do that either. Um, everybody's experiences are unique and and pain is subjective and suffering is subjective. So, you know, I I like to respect that of people too. But when I was doing one-on-one training in person back in the early 2000s, I trained men as well. And uh they hired me because I knew what the fuck I was talking about, not because I had a vagina. Well, maybe it was, but they never that that never that never came up in conversation. But you know, I I don't want to go there. Well, we won't go there. We won't go there.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, let's keep it PG-ish.

SPEAKER_00

All right, okay. PG PG-ish. I like that.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, yeah, we can have a little bit, that's fine. And there's something you just said in a second ago about the laws of thermodynamics, because I think often women feel because they're feeling what's going on, that they're in to the laws of thermodynamics.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

So you'll hear this big thing, calories don't count. And there's a have you seen there's a guy called Dr. Tim Specter. So he's he was on um a big podcast here in the UK, and he's basically saying, you know, calories are a myth, it's about gut health and eating foods that are unique for you. And I'm sitting there going, well, if you eat gut-friendly food that's gonna be lower in calories, so you're gonna get into a calorie deficit. Is I don't know. So, what why do you think women feel like they are immune to the laws of thermodynamics?

SPEAKER_00

I think one of the reasons is because they've been told that they are. I think a lot of a lot of the um rhetoric, the wellness rhetoric, especially around perimenopause and menopause, is that it is impossible to stave off that that weight gain, that belly fat. There's absolutely nothing you can do about it except I have this miracle solution, and I just happen to sell it, and yeah, and and it's just um it's so funny how pervasive these people are. I have there's there's someone else who's like a cancer on the fitness industry, and we it no matter how many, you know, how many times we go in and try to remove it, it regrows. And it's this V shred motherfucker.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00

My own mom, my 75-year-old mom. Okay, I've been her daughter for 51 years. I've been doing this for 30. Okay. This is when I get super offended. And she literally called me up and she's like, so I was watching this video from this guy, and he's really attractive and he's in great shape. And he was talking about, you know, all of these, like, I can't lose weight because of my hormones. Like, I can't lose weight. And I'm like, oh my god. I'm like, mom, who is it? Oh, I think his name is V Shred. She thinks that's his name, is V Shred. And I'm like, oh my God, bro, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I and I I was I love my mom. I love her dearly. She's a lovely woman. But I wanted to reach through the phone and strangle her and go, have you been listening to anything I've said for the last three decades? Like, absolutely nothing. Like, what the fuck do I know, right? I don't know. And and it's just, but but the ad spends on these people and the polarity and it it makes it appeals, these people aren't stupid. They know how to appeal to their audience. And speaking from a woman who grew up dreading getting older, terrified of perimenopause, menopause. Like when my partner would bring it up, do you think this is do you think this is like about menopause? I'd be like, you shut up. Like, don't talk to me about this. I don't want to talk about it. I want to talk about it. Because it was so terrifying when I was growing up, when I was a teenager, it was like whispers, whispers of stuff. Oh, you know, she's going through the change.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You're just like, what is going on? And I think things are getting a little bit better in that there's a lot more real information available and things are starting to shift. But I think there's still way too much misinformation. And when you appeal to women's feelings, like, I feel like I can't control my weight anymore. I feel like there's nothing I can do about this. And the reality is they just don't know what to do. And that's okay. I remember being super relieved to find out there are things that I can do. It's not an inevitability. And I think that's what scares women the most, that their body will start to turn on them and betray them. And now they're living in this stranger's body that they can't identify with, that they can't change, that they can't improve. And it's it's it's an awful, awful place to be. And I I know what that feels like because you know I was really scared about that. And I I but and and that was having the education that I had and having the experience that I had, right? I can't even imagine what it's like for women that don't have that and are casting about on the internet looking for someone who understands them, right? And so these these people are very, very slick and very good at making it seem like there is no solution except for the one that they're selling, you know.

SPEAKER_04

So I think that's why it's your body type, or you've got to take this supplement to regulate whenever you question them about this supplement, i.e., how does it work? There's always a meal plan.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, a calorie deficit meal plan.

SPEAKER_04

That's high in protein. No, no, no, calories don't exist, remember.

SPEAKER_00

Right. Oh, that's right. Sorry, I forgot.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, calories don't exist. Um you know, is who there's another one I was listening to, Dr. Mary Haver. Oh, what's the name of the I've seen her? Yeah, now this is where it gets muddy for me. So she is a board certified um gynecologist, etc. knows how medical stuff um and she blocked me from her page because I questioned her diet plan. Yeah, that happens to me a lot.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_04

Whenever I ask the question, so I download I downloaded her free PDF, you see. And I counted calories on what they were, and it's about 1400 calories.

SPEAKER_00

Wow, that's not enough for most people.

SPEAKER_04

But yeah, she spells it, is it's uh gonna change your metabolism or some other magic. So I asked her, is I looked at seven recipes and they all come to about for for a day, they come to about 1400. So is this not a calorie? And then I got blocked.

SPEAKER_00

Well, that tells you everything you need to know, doesn't it? I've seen her, you know what? I I I find that, and this is this is this is where it gets really insidious. Number one, you're a woman, you shouldn't be exploiting women's fears. You know what that's about. Number two, um, the the hardest stuff to separate is when you've got some truth rolled rolled up in a nice little coating of bullshit. That makes it very, very difficult for people to discern what's real and what's not. Because when somebody tells you the truth about a couple of things, you assume they're telling the truth about everything, and they're not. And I've seen that account, I've seen that account, and uh it's interesting. I would I would love for you to send me that PDF. I would be like very interested to take a look at that.

SPEAKER_04

It was a free PDF, free download. I'll send it to you, Gallery.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's crazy. Wow.

SPEAKER_04

I think you're you're right there. It's that people like us, I guess we won't because we we know that those people like V Shred, all those kind of calories don't matter. We know that the general public are not gonna go and look at the study. No, you tell me science, I'm gonna go find the study, right? And intermittent fasting, for example, is often done on mice and rats. Clients aren't rice and uh rice, no, mice and rats, you know, rice and mats, yeah. Rice and mats, that's a new one. Yeah, but I think that's the thing, isn't it? That like you said, it's rat it's a little bit of truth wrapped up in a whole load of BS.

SPEAKER_00

Mm-hmm. And uh, you know, and and I don't want to be all negative here because there are some people that are doing it properly that will show you the studies and talk about the studies, and some of them, god forbid, are even doing their own research. So um, Dr. Bill Campbell does some great stuff. Um, Lane Norton is really, really good, really, really good at like breaking shit down and just being like, yeah, no, absolutely not. I have to just apropos nothing. Um, I walked into my gym a few weeks ago and they were setting up chairs in the front, and I was like, what's going on here? And they're like, Oh, Lane Norton's coming today. And I was like, bro, what? Well, it it it was an it's a new gym to me, and uh so I wasn't aware of what was going on, but it was his first tour in like seven years or something like that. And this was in the Toronto area, and like there was 300 people showing up to this thing, and it was already full. I couldn't even, I was like, bro, I'll stay. Like, sorry, we're all it's sold out, and it's like, of course it's sold out because he's he's amazing. And uh Alan Aragon is another one, um, Joe, uh Joe Nunez is another one. Um honestly, like that that whole BioLane team, all of those people that are associated, um, are great um resources for stuff. Like, I just find their shit is solid. And um, so it's not and and then when we're talking about um menopause and all that kind of stuff, Dr. Jen Gunter is like she's she's gone, she's gone after Gwyneth Paltr a bunch of times.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, don't even talk about Gwyneth Paltr.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

That's a whole that's a whole podcast by itself.

SPEAKER_00

Let's let's oh I know, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's she's back, she's back trending again because of basically her like talking about her wellness, um her wellness uh routine, and it basically includes like the the the main staple of it is starvation, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

It was like soup. Um I can't remember soup and vegetables, and she looks so tired.

SPEAKER_00

I was like, she does look tired. Maybe she needs it, maybe she needs to steam her yoni again.

SPEAKER_04

Isn't this um where she does the candles as well, where she the the scent of a woman candle kind of thing? I don't know, maybe that's a a Valentine's Day for next year. So, you know, you're I don't I I hate talking about a lady's age, but I know you're 51.

SPEAKER_01

I am. Yep. I'm very proudly 51.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, that's cool. I can talk about it because Mengets.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, you can. Let's talk about it.

SPEAKER_04

Um, and you know, I've got awesome clients in Greeta. She's for example, she's 50. I've got another client show in their 50s, and this they're rocking it. It's great. So, what do you do to stay in shape? What is your routine? Just I know we've talked about this before, but then we might be some new listeners to hear the source.

SPEAKER_01

It's funny, you know. When I when I listened back to the first episode, um, my partner was listening to it with me, and he was like, Did you listen to your workout routine? It sounds unhinged. And I I think I need to. I need to clarify a little bit that she's like, you know, there's only seven days in a week, right? Like you put you put out like a 14 session a week. And so I apologize to anybody who listened to the first one and went, this woman is insane.

SPEAKER_00

Um, so thank you for giving me another opportunity. So um the basis of my training routine is uh I and I did I did high intensity interval training for a long time. Like when my kids were small, I wanted something that was quick and like get in, get out, and I had something in my garage and whatever. Um, but it did leave me unbalanced and it left me open to injuries and stuff like that. So within the last 18 months, I've gone back to my roots of progressive overload training, and you're smiling over there, and I could not be happier. So I do a four-day split uh at the gym. So I do a push day, which is chest, shoulders, and triceps. Then I will do a quad focused leg day, then I will do a pull day, which is back and biceps, and then I will do a glute-focused leg day. Okay. And um so, and I found that gives me the balance that I need to do the other passionate in my life, which is Brazilian jujitsu. And that when I went back to that traditional style of training, I found that my jiu-jitsu improved so much and I felt stronger. I and I think part of it is because of that mind muscle connection that you have with progressive overload training, where you have that time to really think about what you're doing, go through full ranges of motion, you know, pay attention to your tempo, all those kinds of things. It really reestablished that mind muscle connection. So when I was applying it on the mat to choking people and folding laundry with the people still in them, I found that that really had a very positive impact on that. And knock on wood lowers my risk of injury because there's a lot of joint injuries that take place uh with Brazilian jujitsu, especially if you're not strong around those joints. So that's another reason for that idiot. You gotta be strong because if you're gonna choke people out for sport, you gotta be you gotta have some arm muscles and leg muscles.

SPEAKER_04

But anyway, um I'm gonna show the guns at the end of the show. We're gonna do a little gun show and just you know, arms there. I can see some shoulder definition.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, there's some shoulders there, yeah. So I train Brazilian jujitsu um three sessions a week, which is they're about an hour and a half at a time. So if you're doing the math, I'm already at seven, but I usually um I'll train in the I'll lift in the morning, and then jujitsu is usually in the evening. So that's plenty of time, even at my age, to recover from that and go ahead. And it's different modes of exercise as well. So um, and then I walk every day, anywhere from 20, 20 to 45 minutes, depending on the weather. Sometimes I can't get out. I do live in Canada, so it can be nasty as shit sometimes. But today it's a beautiful day. I'm sure you can see like the sun is shining, it's gonna be above zero. Yeah. So um and that is that is more um about a mental break, getting some getting a little bit of fresh blood flow through the body, just taking a break from everything. Um and uh just just getting some movement breaks into your day that and and ones that are stimulating my parasympathetic nervous system. So, like the other kinds of exercises that I do are fairly intense. And that is that, even though it has dozens and dozens of benefits, proven benefits, it's still a stress on the body, it's still a physiological stress on the body. And so I like to do some movement that is um more parasympathetic, so more relaxing. So things like walking, things like mobility work, things like um gentle yoga or yin yoga that aren't as stressful and not as intense, lower intensity stuff. And that's that's a joy, and that's a fairly recent um discovery is how much I enjoy um list cardio, so like low intensity, steady state cardio, just really enjoying your life and taking in. And I don't walk with buds in my ears, first of all, from a safety perspective, and second of all, because I like to take things in. I like to take in sounds, I love bird call, I love all that kind of stuff. And I think it's important to keep all of your senses and just take a break from no offense, but podcasts and music and all that kind of shit. Just unplug from it for a while. So um, and then and then there's activities that just kind of come up out of nowhere. Like, I know you're a climber. I also I also enjoy climbing, just a little bit, right? Your your bouldering skills are like, whoo, I'm like aspirational for me. I can't even, I can't even. So um once in a while, my partner and I will do that. We hike quite often, um, just different things. But but that's kind of one of the great things about fitness, isn't it? Is that idea of physical readiness. When something comes up or an opportunity to try something new, you have some confidence about it. You have a little bit of efficacy about it. Like, shit, yeah, I can do this. I'm I'm in good shape. And um, so whatever happens to come up, if this if it's something new, like um last week was International Women's Day, and uh there was a woman that I've had some contact with that was um hosting like it's called it's called Buddhi Yoga, which I've never heard, B-U-T-I, which I'd never heard of. But it's um it's a little it's a little bit different than any kind of yoga I'd ever done. And it was a little bit of a challenge, and it was fun. It was fun to do because and I and I wasn't I was like, well, we'll just see how this goes, because anytime you do something new, you're gonna look like an idiot a little bit, which is fine. But um, yeah, so I don't know if that's if that came across better than last time.

SPEAKER_04

It came across differently for sure.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I I do take at least one day of like full rest where I don't do anything. I don't do anything except except the walk. That's pretty much it. But other than that, um like because recovery is important when you're when you're training like nine times a week.

SPEAKER_04

So yeah, of course. So here's the question though what do you eat to balance your hormones? Sorry, I'm gonna chips. Yeah, nice.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, you call them crisps over there, don't you?

SPEAKER_04

Oh, yeah, that's it. Yeah, so for the UK people, we're talking about walkers, skips, all that stuff. Yeah, the other side of the pond, we're talking about chips. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I don't I don't I don't eat to balance my hormones, I sleep to balance my hormones.

SPEAKER_01

And then I'm out. Oh, look at that. It looks like the Death Star.

SPEAKER_04

It is the Death Star. I am I am Lord anyway. The force is strong here.

SPEAKER_01

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04

But yeah, so are you telling me that there is no special food that you eat, or you know, because the ladies listening want to hear how you stay in such great shape. And we talked about the narrative of hormone stuff, and you got a bunch of hormones and stuff. What do you eat?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, so you're actually asking me what I eat. Okay, all right, let's go there. So the thing that I think about most often is protein intake. I I mentioned earlier, I can't remember if it was like recording or if it was before recording, but too often, too often, women's diets, especially older women's diets, are carb forward. And there's nothing inherently wrong with carbohydrates, but um protein is what they're not getting enough of. So I'm I eat a very protein-forward diet. Um, I'm I'm a little person, I'm about 45 kilos. I don't know how many stone that is, but yeah, I'm just teeny. Um, but I get about between 100 and 110 grams of protein per day, which a lot of people that I work with are like, that is a lot. It's not a lot, it's really not that hard to do. No. Um, and then um I build my meals out from there. So lots of um fruits and vegetables. I love potatoes and sweet potatoes. I've never met a potato I didn't like ever. Love them.

SPEAKER_04

You mean you eat carbs? How dare you? Because carbs are gonna spike your blood sugar and the insulin is gonna stop your fat loss. Isn't that what happens?

SPEAKER_00

No. You're leading me. You're leading me. You know what people don't get? Vegetables are carbs too, by the way. And so is fruit. So is fruit. And you know, I don't know if you're I don't know if your audience is gonna want to hear this. Um, I eat to poop, you know what I mean? Yeah, so you go get fiber. And this is another thing, uh, a lot of um middle-aged women complain about bloating that they can't get under control. And more often than not, um, it's one of the reasons is A, they're not getting enough water, and B, they're not getting enough fiber. So those are important the fiber is very important. It insoluble fiber keeps your digestive tract moving, soluble uh soluble fiber clears cholesterol from your bloodstream, and it's is really, really important. And I don't think that gets emphasized enough, but protein is important, everything's important. But yes, I do eat carbohydrates, I love them, they're delicious.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, but your insulin's gonna be spiked, and that's gonna cascade your hormones, and I don't know. That's what the TikTok experts say anyway.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, well, we know better than that, don't we?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, we do. Okay, cool. Yeah, but it's really good that you talked about digestion. Often I find when I'm taking on a client that I'll ask the question, say, well, how often you go into the loop, and you'll see the shift in their body, they'll be like, Okay, what's going on? Talk to me. Like once or twice a week, and I'm like, Oh, we need to sort this out.

SPEAKER_00

I'm sorry. Once or twice a week?

SPEAKER_04

It's it's happened before.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, oh my god, I feel so awful for my girlies right now. What?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, twice a week. Can you imagine?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, okay. Well, no, I can't imagine.

SPEAKER_00

Listen, let me tell you something. I for the longest time, whenever I traveled, my um my bowels would get shy.

SPEAKER_03

All right.

SPEAKER_00

And I went on an expedition in the Galapagos and it was almost 10 days, and I was ready to check into emergency. I was like, somebody do something, please, do something. And I it and I was so distended and in so much pain. And when you say a couple of times a week, that's what I imagine people are feeling like all the time. I can't even imagine that. I can't even imagine that.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, it wouldn't listen. I I hear it more often than not. Like when you know, when you build a relationship with a client and you ask the question, so go into the loo. I get a bit embarrassed, and I'm like, listen, we we have to talk shit. Elimination is just as important as what you take in. So why are you going to the loo and it's like, um okay, we got we gotta fix that.

SPEAKER_00

Literally, that's the only way that you can lose two pounds in a day.

SPEAKER_04

Easily.

SPEAKER_00

That's the only way. That's the only way to do when people go, lose two pounds a day. Yeah, if you're if you're taking a dump. Yeah, that's been sitting there for a week.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god, that's craziness.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god. I yeah, Greg's doing an epic face palm right now. I don't even know what to do.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know, I don't know what to say on that subject, but ladies, go to the loo and don't be afraid. I think there's like you said, people get um shy about using other people's toilets and using toilets out, but it's gonna go down the down the loo anyway.

SPEAKER_00

So I know I I don't know. I I don't know if there's if there's other people out there that have shy bowels when they travel. I think it's it's the difference in the water, it's the difference in the food, it's a it's a different time zone, it's different, but the the the more, but really it comes down to now that and then once I became aware of that, I was making sure I was drinking enough water. I was making sure I was eating a lot of fruit and vegetables to make sure that that kept going. And I'll tell you something else. I don't know how you feel about this, Greg. We didn't we haven't covered this before, but since I stopped drinking alcohol, I don't have that problem anymore.

SPEAKER_04

See, alcohol is a really big one because it's so socially acceptable. I've got a few clients right now who are they're battling with that whole should I stop drinking? And you know, me, I've really cut it down if I drink once every two weeks, then that's gonna be it. I don't I I don't really have a love for it. So what what what brought that up? What's your favorite?

SPEAKER_00

Um you know, and here's the thing. Uh I work with a lot of women as well that will say, I'm working out, my diet is good, I'm not seeing any progress, I can't lose weight, it's because of my hormones, it's because I'm too old, blah, blah. And then I'll ask them, how much are you drinking? And they'll tell me two or three glasses of wine a day, a day. And I'm like, oh, sweetie, no, no, no, no. As far as myself, I was never a big drinker. However, um, there is alcoholism in my family. And so there have I'm acquainted with problematic relationships with substances, it causes so much damage physically, emotionally, relationship-wise. Um, it's it's I could go on and on. I don't want to spend all of our time speaking about this, but I was never a big drinker, but I think like most of us, over COVID, I drank a lot more. There was literally nothing else to do except drink and watch TV. And so my yep. And my partner and I both drank quite a bit more. Um, and even though I was working out every day because I had time to do that, um, my sleep was garbage. I my mood was in the toilet. I could not keep control of my weight, no matter how much I worked out, because you and I both know you can't out train a bad diet. And um I thought, what am I doing? I don't need, and this is the thing. I never needed to drink to have a good time. Like I have a fantastic personality and I'm funny as fuck, and I don't need to be hammered to to to have fun. But um, and I I made a decision um late summer of last year. I think I'm just gonna, if I if it, if it doesn't mean that much to me, I think I'm just gonna stop completely and see what happens. And even that little bit of alcohol, maybe a couple of drinks a week, maybe two or three drinks a week, I was doing within three weeks. People were asking me what I had done to my skin. Um, my sleep improved immediately. Uh, I used to get really bad headaches, like really debilitating headaches. I never, I don't get them anymore. Um I dropped a couple pounds really, really easily. And it's just all of these things that people think they can't achieve, a lot of times alcohol is holding them back, really. And I understand the social aspect of it, but um I don't know, I don't know what you guys call them over there.

SPEAKER_01

But over here we have something called mocktails where they look just like just like drinks, pretty, fancy, nice glasses, pretty colors, fruit, all kinds of garnishes, no alcohol. They're way cheaper, they have less calories.

SPEAKER_00

You can drive yourself home, and I enjoy them. More often than not, I'm drinking sparkling water with a lime on it, and people have no idea. It looks like a gin and tonic or a vodka soda, they have no idea. And here's uh an unexpected side benefit. I did do a video on this, a TikTok on this. You find out who your friends are. You really do. Yeah, yeah, and you you find out you find out how many of your relationships revolve around alcohol. I had um, I have a follower on TikTok. She's uh she's a a queen from I she was from Florida, but she lives in Houston now. And if she listens to this, you know who you are. She uh commented under the TikTok that I did about this that she invited a friend out for brunch, and like she's not drinking anymore either. And her friend actually said, Why don't we just go to Denny's? Like, there's really no point if you're not gonna drink. Wow, Denny's is Denny's is like basically a fast food breakfast place in the States. And yeah, wow. Like, because you don't drink alcohol, you don't deserve elevated food, you don't deserve, you know, to to a leisurely meal. Like, and I think um as an older person, it's easier, it's a little bit easier as an older person to say, yeah, I'm not drinking anymore. Because older people are like, Yeah, well, yeah, you know, we've all kind of had to do that self-assessment. But um, I've had some some younger TikTok followers complain that like it's really, really hard as a person in their 20s or 30s saying they don't drink. It's really difficult. But I can tell you it's it's worth not doing. It's really worth not doing.

SPEAKER_04

I guess if it's so hard to say now as an older person, I'm not drinking, then you really have to look at your relationships with friends and stuff like that as well.

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely. And you know, luckily, as you heal from a lot of different things, you get used to losing people. And you have to get used to losing people, and that's okay because not everybody's meant to stay. And in my experience, I found that the people that you lose while healing and trying to better yourself leaves room for new people that can join you on that journey and support you. And I have met um some incredibly special people over the last, I would say, four or five years that I'm very, very lucky to have in my life that I think uh, you know, if if I didn't kind of clear out and make some room for them, I would have missed out on some really, really important uh relationships and friendships with people. So don't be afraid to do that. Don't be afraid to lose people because you're making yourself better. They shouldn't be there in the first place.

SPEAKER_04

Got it. And anything that you know say no to, you're making a yes for something else.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I like that. Be you're able to just cut right through and and make a sound bite. I love that. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04

Hoping you use that in your next TikTok. Just give me some.

SPEAKER_00

I need the recording so that I can remember all these little nuggets.

SPEAKER_04

If you ask nicely, you can have it.

SPEAKER_00

So I I always ask nicely.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I don't know. You probably put me in a Kimura or an armbar. Then ask me. That's not asking nicely.

SPEAKER_01

No, that's true.

SPEAKER_04

That's displaying my shoulder. So how are you helping your ladies now? Because I think this is important. I think you're awesome, you know your stuff, and I want people around the world to be able to understand how you help the ladies you want to help.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you for asking that. Um, so I have been I've been an educator for a really, really long time, and I've been educating teens on a lot of uh what I've experienced and what I've learned. And I'm in a new part of my life now where I'm able to now take all of that and show it to older women. And And so I'm uh in the final stages of a course, a program right now. It's called Step Into Your Power. And yeah, and it is a holistic approach to better health, better fitness, um, a better life, essentially, by looking at where we're falling down and how to move forward and do better for ourselves and for our futures. And it really started out as, you know, it's it's obviously fitness focused, physical fitness focused. However, it's expanded and blossomed into a lot more than that. And one of the I, you know, when you start a project like this, you become hyper-aware of nuance and different aspects of things that um are getting missed, I think, by a lot of traditional programs. And what I was hearing from a lot of women that I work with and that I'm friends with is that they were tired of failing, of trying and failing and blaming themselves, saying, I just can't do this. I'm just not the kind of person that can do this, I'm lazy, I'm I don't know what to do, all those things. And really, all they're missing are strategies and an understanding of how their brains work and how their body works. And so I wanted to address all of that. Um, also with, you know, obviously my Brazilian jujitsu background and my training, my background in self-defense, um, teaching women self-defense. I've been doing that for almost a decade now. And how do I incorporate that into living a better life and stepping into your power? And I read an article recently about how as we age, we tend to spend more time on our own. And I thought about that a little bit, and I thought about women that were maybe getting back into the dating scene, making new friends because they quit drinking and their old friends don't want to go and have brunch with them anymore, or even traveling alone, which I had the opportunity to do last month to go to Miami, and it was amazing.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it was amazing. Um, and I it made me think a lot about um the fear that may go along with that, especially again, coming out of COVID and being used to just cocooning in your house and how how scary that might be to do that and how isolating it could be to let that fear get the better of you. And so um, there's a mindset module. There is um, I included basically a self-defense mindset module to navigate some of the things that women might be afraid of at this point. And I would love to be able to go to everybody's house and teach them how to put people in a chimera or a guillotine or whatever. And who knows? I'm I'm I'm looking at I'm looking at sort of um along the line, I guess you'd call them retreats or getaways where I would be in an in a position to do that in person with people. I would love that. Um, but I think just giving people tips and strategies to nobody, nothing, nobody and nothing is a hundred percent safe, but being aware of your environments and just things that you can do to make yourself safer and more secure, I thought it was really important to include in in this program to encourage people to go out and live their lives and try things and and and have new experiences because I think a lot of times that's what makes us old is when we stop pursuing adventure and experience and and new things, right? Um, so that that was something that was really important to me. Obviously, there's the nutrition module and then the training module, which talks about training and looking at a lot of the things that fitness programs just assume that you know and really getting, really going deep with how training works, why do we do cardio? Why do we do resistance training? Why do we do core work? Why do we do mobility work? Why do we write all of those things? And then there will be um there will be specific training programs as well. So home-based programs for people that want to do that, and then gym-based programs as well. So I'm, and then, and then we will also have a community, which is super exciting because I think um knowing that there are people out there that are on the same mission that you are, that are having the same struggles, you're not alone, you're not, there's nothing wrong with you. You can do this, and to have access to each other and to have access to me, I think is really important and be able to share stories, share progress, share recipes, all those kinds of things, I think is is a really an added bonus for people. So I'm very, very excited. I'm gonna be doing a webinar to launch within the next month. So I'm super, super excited for that project because this this has absolutely been a labor of love for me to bring my three decades of education and experience to women that are going through the same things that I'm going through. And even younger women. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

There's something really important you said, and this this program sounds awesome. It sounds a little like my Empowered Body, like we we have the same kind of mindset around this stuff, so that's awesome. But it's interesting how you emphasize the mindset stuff. Talked about that first, and that was a bit that you were so animated at, you were like, Yeah. And only because we've seen it so many times where people go straight to the exercise and nutrition and then wonder why they keep failing.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. And and a lot of it is because of the associations that we make in our brain and how much those new habits rely on the executive brain, the decision-making brain. And the reality is we have busy lives, we're making hundreds of little decisions every day. And when it comes time to making decisions about what to eat and when to move or how to move, we're usually done by that time. And so we go on autopilot and we pick up a pizza and go home and lie on a couch because at that point we're just so a lot of the mindset stuff is about setting yourself up to make positive um associations between with those habits and to make them as frictionless and easy to choose as possible. So if if you'll indulge me, I'm gonna give you an example. So you and I have talked extensively at how foundational sleep is. And um people in general, women in particular, stay up late scrolling. Why do we do that? Yep, why do we do that? We do that most often because that is the only time that we have to ourselves. That is the time where we have peace. Everything's done for the day, everyone's asleep. That is the only time we get to ourselves, and we want to make that time last as long as possible before we have to get up and do all the shit all over again, right? The problem is, so the problem is it puts us at a deficit for the next day. And then we have to drag our asses through our day, and then we eat like shit and we skip our workout and we're irritable, right? And on and on and on it goes. Because the association is I don't have enough time for myself, I'm gonna do this. So going to bed early has a negative association of not having time for yourself. Now, if we switch that and say, if you go to bed early and get up a little earlier, then you have time in the morning for yourself. That is a peaceful time before the world starts spinning and throwing stuff at you. Then you have time to do a little bit of gentle yoga in the morning or go for a walk or answer emails that you don't want to have to deal with later, or pack your lunch and make some choices about what you're gonna eat that day. And then you don't have to drag your ass through your day, and you don't have to feel like shit, and you do want to exercise. And then so it's like if I go to bed early, I'm creating time for myself and I'm creating a space where I can do things that are good for me, and just changing that association can make a world of difference for people, I think.

SPEAKER_04

For sure. I think I feel like people are so happy to live a lower quality quality of life because they haven't experienced a better quality of life. And it seems scary to say, do you know what? I'm gonna put myself first. I've got another awesome friend of a coach and I write her pro I write her training programs, but she uh messaged me about a client who was actually going through a divorce because of what she'd gone through after the training, the coaching program. So she was literally changing her life. She's going, oh my god, I've not been putting myself first. But then everyone's attacking this woman because she's making choices about herself. And that can be scary to start making those choices because everyone starts to judge you. Oh, look at you going to the gym too much, look at you eating healthy, oh, you'll stop drinking. I think that fear of being left out of the tribe can have such a massive impact on people.

SPEAKER_00

I'm that it's a great point that you make. And I I made um I made a video about this, uh, maybe just a yeah, I did make a post about this, and I'm seeing more about this. And it's something that I include in the program. Relationships are part of the mindset module about and about how important a support system is, but it has to be the right one. And so I talk a lot about if you are trying to change your life, your two choices are a supportive partner or no partner. Pretending to drop the mic again.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I can't look expensive.

SPEAKER_00

No, I know it looks expensive.

SPEAKER_04

I can't drop it, I can't drop the desktop.

SPEAKER_00

No, no, no, no. I have seen I have witnessed more frustration, failure, giving up when someone's partner is not on board, when someone's partner is threatened, it's not gonna happen. You will give up or you will give up your relationship. I suggest this the latter.

SPEAKER_01

This is why this is why I'm doing this, and I'm not a relationship counselor because my first go-to is like, have you thought about breaking up?

unknown

Have you thought about that?

SPEAKER_04

It's not for you.

SPEAKER_00

No, yeah, he sucks.

SPEAKER_04

I think that and it's funny. I've got a friend of mine who's a relationship coach and helps men with this stuff. So there's uh when that episode is out, I think you'll you'll enjoy that one, you'll love it. But uh okay, but I think we get so bogged down and just we have to live these lives and we're scared to go alone and all of that stuff. We're scared to just be ourselves.

SPEAKER_00

I would rather be myself alone than a sh a shell of myself with someone else. No, thank you. No, just another you're so good, you're so good for me. You're so good for me.

SPEAKER_04

What do I do?

SPEAKER_00

I didn't do any odds because you you make it seem like everything that comes out of my mouth is a truth bomb.

SPEAKER_04

I love it, but it is.

SPEAKER_00

See, see what I mean? See how he is, everybody? See how he is?

SPEAKER_04

I wouldn't call it that if I didn't think it was, like, you know, yeah, this is why I it's it it is so critical.

SPEAKER_00

It is so critical to everything in your life. Like the quality of your life depends on the quality of your relationships. And if they are toxic or if they are holding you back from being the best version of yourself, I don't want it. I don't want it. Wow. Conversely, the the conversely, the power of a supportive partner, and and I can speak from experience here, my partner has been an incredible support with what I'm working to do. Um he is I I I cannot praise him enough for for how much he has assisted me with logistics, with even just moral support when I'm when I'm having my moments. And it's I can't even imagine what it would be like to try and undertake a project of this magnitude while trying to soothe somebody's injured ego. Like I just, there's just no way. There's just no way that that would work. And I think a lot of people, and I I think especially a lot of women, because we've been socialized to be caregivers and and and the shock absorbers of society and really taking into account other people's feelings. And not that that's inherently a bad thing, it's just when that stands in the way of your self-improvement or making your life better, um, that's how people get sick when they when they ignore the whispers and and hints that their own body is giving them to maintain these bullshit relationships. Like it's no, no. And when you realize that that it's not for you, and that there's literally billions of people on the planet that are really good matches for you, you stop worrying about okay, what this what this person thinks of you not drinking anymore. Like, how ridiculous.

SPEAKER_04

Awesome. Missy, we could be here forever.

SPEAKER_00

I know we I know this is this is why we did 2.0 because 1.0 was was overtime as well.

SPEAKER_04

No, no, it was fire. That's what it was. It was fire and it came. That's what it was. So we are gonna do a 3.0. Okay, but don't worry, regularly. I think you should come to England at some point as well. Yes, yeah, come over. We'll we'll do Bulgarian split squats together.

SPEAKER_01

Still threaten me with a good time.

SPEAKER_04

Hey, we can do we can do with an overhead press as well. Like I didn't know I did. Yeah, we can do that. We can do a snatch of a Bulgarian split squat.

SPEAKER_01

We can you know what? Every time every time I post about Bulgarian split squats, you are right there in the comments. Every time, every time. I can it's it's like it's like expecting the sun to rise. It's gonna happen, it's going to happen.

SPEAKER_04

So one way I might surprise you and say deadlifts.

SPEAKER_00

Those are good too. Yeah, thank you, thank you so much for for having me on again. It was it's always such a pleasure talking to you.

SPEAKER_04

Well, as long as as long as we can get you back for another episode, I would like to really do one of maybe training focused yeah with Perimenopausal menopausal woman, just to really go deep on that. So that'd be awesome.

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04

Just tell the ladies where they can find you, follow you, get to hear more about your stuff.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I you can find me on Instagram at Angelish Fit and also on TikTok at Angelish Fit. In both on both of those platforms, I um you can click the link in either of those bios, and you can um sign up for my email list to find out when the launch is happening, when the webinar is happening. You can I have a couple of free guides there. So there is a self-defense mindset guide there for you, as well as a nutrition guide that um teaches you a lot of the things that we were talking about today, and uh and it has my email there so you can send me a message as well. So, and I love to hear from people. So I'm I'm yeah, that's where you can find me.

SPEAKER_04

Awesome. So, ladies, please go and follow and share this episode with people who really want help with their mindset and their body and their health. Because um, there's been some gems in this podcast, and I'm also gonna link the first episode because that was fire too. So I'm gonna put the link to that one and then we're gonna do a 3.0 on this bad boy. And yeah, thank you for being on the show.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, thank you for having me. It was great to talk to you about anytime.

SPEAKER_04

Talk soon. See you later. Bye.