What to do when you miss a workout or "Fall of the Wagon"

When you miss a workout or fall short of a standard you set for yourself, the internal response usually arrives fast and it feels like accountability.

It isn't.

In this episode, Greg breaks down the difference between a verdict and an investigation: why the shame loop masquerades as discipline, why it's actually the thing stopping you from examining your decisions, and what the shift from self-condemnation to genuine accountability looks like in practice.

If you've ever felt like beating yourself up about a miss means you're taking it seriously — this episode is for you.

Topics covered:

• Why "I'm not disciplined" is a verdict, not an insight
• How the shame loop closes the door on real examination
• The one reframe that turns a miss into usable data
• The difference between self-punishment and actual accountability

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Today, I want to talk about what to do when you miss a few workouts, you're off track, and you feel like you've fallen off the wagon. This is a really important topic and something that I'm working through myself, and something that I'm working through clients as well. So here's the thing: when I skip a workout or let my nutrition slide, the conversation in my head can go one of two ways. The first one says, I'm not disciplined, I'm not motivated, I'm failing at this again. Right? And that's the loudest voice ever. The thing is that that's a verdict about my character. And when you give a verdict, it gives you no room to maneuver. It confirms the identity conclusion that you've already made. I'm not disciplined, I can't do this, I can't stay on track, etc. And then what happens is because you've already made the verdict about those things about your identity, you then produce more of the behavior that matches the identity that you've created and that verdict. Okay, so the loop just keeps going round and round and round. Nothing gets examined, nothing changes. The second response, I chose to do that because I felt something else was more important at the time. So now I have a decision to examine rather than a character to condemn. Okay, and this is the important part. And when you make a you know, you see a decision, you can say, okay, was that the right allocation of my energy? Is that choice in alignment with what I said matters to me? Do I want to keep making it? And those types of questions are not available when you shame yourself with, I'm not disciplined, I've fallen off the wagon, and all those other things. See, what happens is shame puts on a mask of accountability. And here's what makes this tricky it feels like you're taking yourself seriously. It feels like, oh, well, if I shame myself enough, it means I'm being disciplined enough, which is not actually the case. But it's actually the most effective way to avoid looking at our decisions. And as we discussed a second ago, decisions are the most important thing that we have that allows us to then make new choices. So you see that shame loop that I talked about earlier that generates enough emotion that the real questions never get asked because you're too busy generating that verdict of I'm too this, I'm too that, I'm not disciplined, to actually do any investigation. And if you want to change your body, create your million-dollar body, investigation is the most powerful thing you can do. Because investigation is uncomfortable in a different way. It requires you to sit with the choice you made without falling into self-condemnation and actually ask the question Did I make that choice? And do I want to keep making it? And actually, that's harder than shame. Shame is fast, shame comes up a hundred miles an hour when you miss that workout. Okay, it feels like you're being rigorous when you bring in the shame cycle. Investigation is slow, it means you have to sit down with it, analyze it, dissect it, understand where it came from. It requires you to look at your future decisions. Okay. And it requires you to own it without making it mean a catastrophe about who you are. And I think that's the hard bit. Like at various times in my life, I have said I'm not disciplined. I'm, you know, and that means it just takes all the power away from me. So the verdict, and this is the real big difference. A verdict means I am undisciplined. Investigation means I made a choice that wasn't aligned with the stated identity, superhero identity, as I call it with my clients, that I stated. One locks the door, once opens the door to a whole myriad of questions, excitement, and fun things that you can look at to actually change what happens next. The verdict is like an identity conclusion. Once it lands, that's it. Everything stops. You've already decided that your behavior means and what behavior will now happen again. You've already decided it. When you do that, you've already decided it. The investigation keeps the question open. It treats the behavior as data, not evidence of character. It asks what decisions were made, and is that decision I want to be making going forward. This is the difference between you know actual accountability and self-punishment. Self-punishment feels like accountability because it's uncomfortable. Shame doesn't feel good. Hell no. But discomfort isn't the point. The point is the examination. And examination only happens when you're not in the middle of generating a verdict. You've all seen the court case dramas. Once the verdict is reached, there is no way of going back. That's it. That person, whether they were innocent or guilty, has been given a judgment. No one can change anything. Done. So I want to leave you with this. The next time you miss something, skip something, fall short of the standard you said matter to you. Notice which internal response fires. Is it a verdict or is it an investigation? Is it I am not disciplined or I made a choice? Was it the right one? One will keep you stuck, the other will open doors and actually give you something to work with. If this stands for you and you want to look at where the verdict loot is running in its own standards, the link to Book of Discovery call is in the show notes. That's where the real work starts. Talk to you soon.