Content Creator - Alison Perry on rediscovering her style

In this week's episode of The 40+ Life, Katy chats with blogger, podcaster, author, and content creator Alison Perry.

Many listeners will know Alison from Not Another Mummy Blog and the chart-topping Not Another Mummy Podcast, where she's spent over a decade sharing the realities of motherhood, identity, and modern life. But in recent years, Alison has become a powerful voice for women rediscovering their confidence, style, and sense of self in midlife.

Together, Katy and Alison reflect on the early days of mummy blogging, building online communities before Instagram took over, and how sharing honest stories helped thousands of women feel less alone during motherhood. Alison also opens up about her fertility journey, the heartbreak of secondary infertility, undergoing IVF, and the incredible surprise that led to the birth of her twin daughters.

The conversation explores the challenges many women face in their late 30s and 40s—balancing motherhood, self-worth, and identity—and how Alison found her way back to herself through fashion, colour, creativity, and a commitment to putting her own happiness back on the agenda.

They also discuss social media pressures, confidence, comparison, style ruts, why "fake it till you make it" sometimes works, and the powerful moment when you stop worrying about what other people think and start embracing who you are.

Find out more about Alison -

On Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/iamalisonperry/

Not Another Mummy Blog

https://notanothermummyblog.com/

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Find out more about TV Presenter Katy Pullinger https://www.instagram.com/katypullinger/

https://www.katypullinger.com/

Transcript

0:04

Welcome to the 40 Plus Live. Today's guest is Alison Perry, a blogger, podcaster, and writer who's built a hugely successful online community. Her podcast, Not Another Mummy Podcast, went straight to the top of the iTunes, kids, and family charts, where she talks candidly about motherhood, identity, and modern life. Somehow she even found time to write her debut book, OMG, It's Twins, which comes with its own incredible journey. In recent years, Alison has inspired thousands of women by embracing fashion and confidence in her 40s, proving that rediscovering your style doesn't have an age limit. Alison, thank you so much for joining me on the 40 Plus Life. Oh hi, Katie. Thank you so much for having me. Really lovely to have you here. It's been really lovely to follow your journey for so many years because I've I think I've been following you. I'm trying to remember how long it's been, because you know, I've got a bit of a history in mummy blogging, and when the whole mummy blog sphere exploded, you were right there building your world. Yeah, it's hilarious actually, because I launched my blog, Not Another Mummy Blog, in 2011, and I called it Not Another Mummy Blog because I felt like everyone had a mummy blogger. I was really late to the party, yeah, and I was one of the last people ever to launch a mummy blog. So it was like, oh, not another mummy blog. But actually, looking back, I was kind of one of the OGs. I was kind of on that first kind of crest of the wave. Um, and the blogging continued um, you know, well into sort of 2016, 2017, 2018, and it has kind of petered out since then as things like podcasting has taken over and Instagram and TikTok and all the rest of it. Um, but it's all just content creation, isn't it? It's all just thinking about what other people want to hear about, what you can talk about, what you've got to say, and just getting it out there in some form. I think back then as well, there wasn't a huge amount for mums to follow and dads, but you know, obviously it was the mum blogging world that exploded first, followed by a lot of the dads joining the game as well. You know, obviously there were books, I mean, maybe limited books, there was a few celeb books that were starting to come in, but real honest, day-by-day stories and information from fellow mums that were going through it at a similar time. And I think that was the other thing about it is that you were finding new bloggers all the time that were at the same stage that you were at. It was almost like, you know, your years at school, who who's going through the GCSD years, who's going through the A-level years, you know, who's in the thick of babyhood, who's in toddlers, who's in teens. And, you know, we've all now grown up with so many of the mummy bloggers out there. Yeah. And it I mean, I it to me, it felt like you're absolutely right, having you would find people who were at the same stage as you, and a bit in a way, like if you went to like a baby class, all the babies there would be at the same stage, and you might make friends with some of the mums and go for coffee. Just having that online community where at three in the morning, if I was awake, you know, with my my my baby wouldn't sleep, and I could go on to like Twitter or you know, like which is what obviously was really big back in the day, or read the lift's blog post by somebody who was going through the same thing. Um, and yeah, the comparison between previously when it had just been experts on the TV or magazines, and it's just a little bit far removed from you and your own experience, whereas these were real, you know, mums who were just being so honest about their experience and so raw. I mean, I was reading about people's experiences with postnatal depression and you know, all sorts of stuff that before you'd only really had this kind of glossy sheen of aversion, you know, talked about in the past. Yeah, and you know, there's there was no reward other than your own reward, obviously, for seeing how your children were developing, but no one was coming and giving you a pat on the back or or a medal for anything that you were doing. You weren't getting a you know a review at the end of the year like you would at work. And I think it was a way for a lot of mums to, I don't know, get some recognition for what they were doing and and saying, hi, I'm I'm I'm working really hard here as a as a mum, um, and obviously in a in a different way than we had in our careers or whatever we were doing, but you just wanted to share it with someone and yeah, not disappear into, I don't know, soft play. Yeah, yeah, I find because you know, um having worked in magazines for you know maybe 12 years before that, I found it really hard to suddenly be on maternity leave and be at home with my baby, who was not really saying much, doing much, or she's just sort of lying there, like, you know, really unentertaining. Soho with like Peter Wondry popping in to see us or the Maiden Chelsea stars, and it'd be really exciting, um, and then suddenly I was at home by myself with this baby, and I I really struggled. So I really found that having this creative outlet where I could, you know, talk about what I was going through really helped. And actually, um, there were so many times early on in my blogging days when I felt so compelled to share what I was what I what I was experiencing. Like I knew there were other mums out there who were probably experiencing the same thing and wondering if it was just them, and so to kind of reach out in that way and say it's not just you, there are so many of us going through this, it was really powerful. I think something that was also really lovely at the time as well was that we were seeing a lot of mums sharing their mum style too, and yes, we were sharing our babies and our toddlers and all of that, but also starting to really just show that mums aren't just turning up in their leggings and a in a and a jumper, which you know, a lot of us fall into that trap, don't we? I don't know if you found that. I certainly did, where I think I got to a moment where I sort of look in the mirror and go, I think I've worn the same, you know, jumper with snot on the shoulder with a pair of leggings for the last month in a row, and I I've lost myself, I've lost my style. And a lot of mum, the mums or the mum fluences were starting to say, Hey, look, you can be, you know, stylish again and you can have fun with it. And it was a lot of quite practic, yeah, practical mum fashion, but it it became a thing, didn't it? It did, yeah, I reckon about 10 years ago, and I was really grateful for it because I felt like I was in my mid-30s and really felt like that my days of you know working in a cool office and you know, stressing about in high heels and feeling really cool were just so gone. But these mums who were, you know, on the early days of Instagram and on their blogs showing us that actually you can dress for like soft play and uh you know a bounce and rhyme session and then meeting your mum friends for coffee and then you know, actually, you know, being sicked up all over or whatever it is, you can still feel good and you can still wear clothing that makes you you know makes you happy. Um, but it's still practical as well. Yeah, there was a lot of the I love that you're wearing a brett on stripe. It wasn't deliberate, I promise. But it became a bit of a uniform, but I think that it was the brett on top with either like denim dungarees or just uh I don't know, the dress and the trainers, I think, was a really big massive. 2016-2017, like it felt like that was the uniform was a little floral dress and some trainers and a biker jacket and a biker jacket. You had to have the biker jacket. I put a million pictures of me in it, yeah. A floral dress, trainers, and a biker jacket in front of like a painted wall somewhere that was like the original. Oh my goodness, honestly, like I used to just love so much just finding a gorgeous wall, some nice, you know, um beautiful like graffiti or something and taking some pictures. I mean, it obviously it's kind of ridiculous, but it's just fun, and it's like I know, you know, it I loved it. I know, and I almost want that simplicity of Instagram back. I think the the goalposts have changed so much, and now Instagrammers or influencers or content creators, they are they're fashion editors in their own right, and they're making content that I think, yeah, back then we couldn't have even dreamed to create the kind of photography and the level of production that's going into it now, it's a different level. This is what's so amazing, I think. You know, so many people are down on content creators or influencers and you know, dismissing them. And actually, when I think about like the skills that I have developed in the last 15 years, since launching my blog, teaching myself how to do that all from scratch, editing photos, taking photographs, and now into like video production, storyboarding, you know, a video. Yesterday I was chatting to with a friend about we were planning a video in between us, we were coming up with a script, we were coming up with like shot by shot, we were working out right where do we get that sound effect from? Like just that's impressive. Like, yeah, whatever your opinion on influencers are, that is impressive. Well, funnily enough, just doing this uh me recording this podcast on this system that I use last week. A thing popped up on the on the website saying, um, you have now proven yourself to be an editor, you can add this to your LinkedIn profile. And I was like, Oh wow, okay, I'd never really thought about putting that on there. But absolutely, it's when you do create these skills or you do develop these skills, they are something that you can then uh potentially use in in other parts of your life and work. And if you were then going to go back into the mainstream rather than being, I don't know, self-employed, then yeah, you've got something to put on that CV for those job applications. I did exactly that, Casey. A few years ago, I was like, I think I probably want to, you know, look around and get a full-time job again for the first time in about 12 years or so. And I um applied for and got a job as social media editor at NetMum's and um, you know, for a year worked with them um on all their social content, their video content, you know, um organized huge video shoots, um, did things that absolutely were the skills I had developed in the last 10 years or so doing blogging and podcasting and you know working on Instagram. Um, and I turned it into an actual, actual job. Do you feel like you've got to keep up with other other content creators, but also do you feel that pressure to to look a certain way for for your content? Well, okay, so on on your first point, I have always been the kind of person who is looking for the next trend or then in terms of work. So when I worked on magazines, I was the person who was like, guys, we should get a Twitter account and oh Pinterest is really big and like let's get on Instagram. And that was very much like that's just part of who I am. So I find that part of my job really easy. All right, what's everyone, what's everyone doing? What's the trend? Right, how can I apply that to myself? Could I do that? And not everything is for me, the whole like lip-syncing thing or like doing funny sketches. I've tried it, it's just a bit cringe, can't do it. That's okay. Um, but then other things, I'm like, no, actually, I feel really comfortable doing that, I really like it. Um, and then on the kind of appearance side, I just I feel like everyone has this pressure now. I mean, like you say, we grew up reading magazines and comparing ourselves with the way that models were looking and celebrities were looking, but then this whole like raft of magazines came along, like hate who were suddenly showing celebrities looking terrible and criticizing them. And I actually, you know, I worked on magazines when we were doing that, and it's really scary looking back at how acceptable that was. You'd be in the office looking at all these pat pictures of like celebrities falling out of cars, like helping the picture editor to choose the worst picture. Oh, look, she's flashing her pants in that picture. Let's let's go with that one. Like awful, hideous. Honestly, like I could write a bit about that. I mean, it was just awful. You should, you should. But um I mean, uh, I had that conversation with Ali Bastion recently on a recent episode, and obviously, from her perspective, she was one of the actresses that was fearing that she was going to end up with the circle of shame. And it was it was a big part of that era. I mean, it was body shaming, it was misogynistic, it was just gross on so many levels, and to have been a small part of it. I mean, I never worked on any of the big celebrity magazines, I worked on More magazine for a while, and we did a bit of that because you know, I think as a magazine, it was felt that we needed to kind of go with that trend, um, because it was working with with the other mags. Um, but yeah, looking back, I feel so uncomfortable about some of the stuff that was that was going on. Um, but then you know, on social media, I guess that's probably why off the back of that, is probably why social media became so big because suddenly it was celebrities were able to be in control of what they were putting out there and what was being seen. And um, and real people, there was this kind of autonomy of like, well, actually, I can put a video out, and it could be, you know, I've put a video out in the past that's been seen by like over eight million people. Now that doesn't make me a celebrity, but it means that I've got, you know, arguably just as much of a shot of doing that kind of thing as somebody who's on some TV show. Um, so anyway, I'm kind of I feel like I'm I've kind of gone off gone off topic a little bit. Um, but I feel like there's definitely a pressure to um when you're you know when you're scrolling, you have to stop those thoughts of comparison creeping in. Yeah. Even if it's like how tidy someone's house is, or what a great parent that person looks, or you know, she's always doing pack lunches for her kids that are so beautiful and cute and healthy, and I'm just like shoving a Kit Kat and a packet of crisps, and you know what I mean? It's like But I do know what you mean, but I think you and I should we should already know that know full well that the chances are that person has cleared a load of mess to one side in the kitchen, uh, that they've done that, maybe making that perfect sandwich for their child for content, and like, are they are they actually doing it every day? Or they are do you know what, Katie? What I've learned is there are people in this world who aren't like that. Do you think there are? And I know some people that will live, and then I know people who have got immaculate homes. Like, I'll just like drop in for unannounced for a coffee, and their house looks like they've spent the last week cleaning it and tidying it. And I'm like, if you're not into my house right now, it was honestly a bumsite. This is it. The webcam is literally pointing at the tidy corner, and I literally just had to brush a load of crumbs when my daughter was eating her toast this morning. You can see what I can see, honestly. I've got like my kids' iPads, a doll, yeah, a blanket. It's like it's chaos, but this looks lovely. What you can see. Exactly, exactly. I'm looking at ukulele's cables, old birthday cards from actually I've got a Mother's Day card, and that's already months ago sitting there. It's just rubbish everywhere. So, Alison, in the last couple of years, you've really not necessarily moved away from parenting uh on your parenting content because you're still doing that with your blog, but you're you've really moved into the finding your own confidence and style again, which has been so lovely to see because you've just been we've been watching you blooming in real time, which is really fabulous. And I think uh what you're doing for other women's self-esteem is is really incredible. Tell tell me how how has it all come about, this sort of move into your own rediscovering your style. It came about because honestly, I spent a few years, so I had my youngest kids, I've got twins who are seven, and as they were kind of getting old, not getting older, but you know, sort of the toddler preschool, starting school age, I realized that I had completely lost my confidence. I was just wearing black leggings, like grey, sludgy coloured, massive sweatshirts. I I not taking care of myself, like, you know, not looking after my skin, like really not like self care was non existent. And I just had no self worth. Like I had no motivation to look after myself. I didn't feel like I was worth looking after. And I remember sitting in my friend's kitchen, my friend Emily, and saying to her, we were having having a bit of a sort of work. She she I I know her from working in magazines and she also does content creation. We were having a bit of a sort of work meeting, like a brainstorm. Like, what what can we do? How can we spark some life into what we're doing? And I was like, Oh, I just really miss like 10 years ago. I used to stand in front of walls with my outfit that was from like Bowdoin or wherever it was from, yeah, yeah, and take pictures, and I loved that. And I would love to do that again, but and I kind of pointed at myself what I was wearing. I was like, obviously I can't do that now because look at me. And she said, Why don't you why don't you post something about that? About that feeling that you have where you just feel that you've got no confidence, and what's the point of dressing up and looking nice? And I just thought, actually, yes. So I did, and it went it it got like hundreds of thousands of views. This yeah post I did on Instagram, and I basically thought, right, okay, come on, let's do something about this. There's obviously all these other women who are feeling the same as you. Maybe together we can tackle this. And so I started just by going through my own wardrobe and pulling out like a sequin top and some dungarees that were a bit small for me, but I thought, I don't care, I'm gonna wear that on the school run tomorrow. I'm gonna wear sequins on the school run. And it was a real thing of like fake it till you make it. And I And he did it. It's quite controversial, I think. That that that phrase because I think some people really don't like it, they feel like it's disingenuous. And for me, it it was the only way I could do it. If I could force myself into pretending that I was confident, then maybe the confidence would appear, and it did, like very gradually. I think it's just the term fake it till you make it makes it sound I don't know, gives it that sort of side of negativity. But when you think about some of the big TED talk speakers, the people that do these talks about changing your life, and um what's the one atomic habits, the one where you have to lean into your habit and you have to do it a certain number of times before it becomes a part of your you know natural day-to-day activity, and that's that's all you're doing. We're just not calling it fake it till you make it when it's it's in you know book advice form or TED Talk form. And also I think that it just has this kind of um it just has this effect where wearing the clothes actually did make me feel better, and then that gave me the motivation, it it improved my self-worth. I thought, oh no, I feel quite good today. I look quite good today. Okay, maybe I am, maybe I should start properly cleansing my skin rather than just putting some face wipe over it every night and I am worth it. You know, it really it really was, you know, and honestly, the I cannot explain the impact, like just the it has led to me, you know, starting to lift weights at the gym, which I I've done now for the last six months, twice a week, consistently. Amazing. It has led to me getting a tattoo, it has led to me getting piercings, which honestly, when I I'm hearing myself saying this to you, Katie, and I feel like the biggest 40-something cliche in the world, but I don't care because these were things that made me happy and made me feel like I was being myself and doing something for me, and it has just improved my mental health and my every like day-to-day feeling of of happiness and joy just massively. It's funny actually, the the the multi-piercing and 40-something tattoo world must be huge now because I'm seeing again, I've I've got my earrings out at the moment, but yeah, I've gone for the multi-piercings. I am considering a tattoo. Do it. I don't know what it is about. Whether we're being influenced from somewhere, I don't know. Where's show me yours? I got I got a really I don't know if you can see it, but I got a really beautiful like uh flower. Oh, line drawing up here. Yeah, it's beautiful, it is gorgeous. And what made you go for that? It's a Mayflower, it's not Mayflower, but it's a flower, it's a flower that that flowers in May, and I really liked that that feeling of blooming, you know, from spring into summer. Yeah, and it could represents kind of like this journey, this journey that I've been through. An awakening, yeah, yes, a rebirth. But that's what spring is. I think that's a beautiful metaphor for the how you're feeling about life now, because you you've gone through it, haven't you? If we if we go back a bit, you mentioned your twins and you wrote the book OMG, it's twins, and you didn't just write it because you know, OMG, you'd had twins, you had to go through a lot to get your twins, didn't you? Oh, I did, I did. So my eldest is um 15, nearly 16, and then there was an eight-year age gap between her and her sisters, and in that time I experienced secondary infertility. Um, I've had endometriosis um since my early 20s, and so we were I was told in my 20s, so you might find it hard to conceive. So when um when I became pregnant with my eldest, it happened within three months, and I was like, Oh great, okay, so this this isn't actually a problem because it isn't for everybody, but then the problem came when we were like, okay, let's have a second, and four years later it still wasn't happening. So we started fertility treatment, and it it's just I mean, anyone who's listening who's been through it will know it is just one of the hardest things to go through because whether it's you know you're trying for your first child or you want to add, you know, siblings and you know, subsequent children, yeah, it's just this longing that you feel like something is missing, and you will try anything you can to make it happen, but it just feels so out of your control and so out of reach and so random. And so we had two rounds of IVF, and the first round, and you know, it's like it's so expensive, and it you're you're going through so much. What what sort of cost is one round of IV? I mean, it'll be different now, but I think back then it was about three, three and a half grand. Yeah. Which uh is probably well over double that now, I would imagine. But it wasn't and chances are you're gonna have to go through it more than once. Yes. And I remember um I th I think I was maybe 38, 39. I must not must have been about 37 the first time we went through it. And am I right in thinking that you that's too old to qualify for an HS 5ES? I don't know about the age thing, but if you've already got a child, you don't qualify. Oh wow! Oh okay, I didn't know that. It was only first-time parents who would get it anyway. So, yes, we we found the money, and you know, we're not the kind of family to just have that money lying around, but we managed to get the money together and we did it. And to then find it, it hasn't worked. Like the the the um it was something like a 21% chance at the age I was at, it was a 21% chance that it was going to work. So it's not the odds aren't great, and we thought I thought, do you know what? That's that's it, we haven't got any more money, so let's yeah, let's just leave it. And then after about a year, I was like, no, I can't. Like I the longing for another baby was just too much, and we actually had I don't think I've ever told anybody this, we actually had um someone that I didn't know that well, quite a well-known influencer, reach out to me and offer to pay for a second round of IVA. What? Just out of the kindness of their hearts. Oh my god. Like we had a mutual friend. I I said no. This is this isn't they this isn't an exclusive on an influencer paid for my IVF. I was like, I was so tired. You can see the trashy headline. I know I was so influencer bore my baby. Just the kindness that this person had reached out, you could see that I was clearly heartbroken. Oh, but we did manage to kind of scrape some money together for a second round and um and we ended up we I think we had I think we had two embryos implanted just to try and increase the chances of one implanting and one working. Yeah, and it ended up both of them did. So we ended up with twins. Gosh, wow, I mean that is phenomenal, isn't it? I bet you just thought you'd hit the jackpot. Well, also I felt quite happy that on our um cost per baby, um, you know, we'd done two rounds, we ended up with two babies. So I felt like being Scottish, I quite like the value for money. I love it, I love it. But I mean, you know, we we know the stories uh I'm sure you've probably got friends that have gone through IVF and they haven't been successful in the end, you know, there is no guarantee. I mean, modern medicine and science is absolutely incredible, but we know it it still might not happen. So, you know, you're so lucky that you got your twins, your two and they're both girls, they're both girls and they're non-identical. Um, but it was such a shock when we found out that it was twins because we'd we'd gone for like a six-week scan at the private hospital that we'd had the treatment at, and the consultant scans me and said, Yep, it's fine, the sack is there, and the heartbeat is there, everything's fine. And she sent us off, and we didn't she she'd only seen one one baby, one heartbeat. So you left thinking. We left thinking that we just had one, but we were like, Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, that's all you wanted. Uh and then went for the 12-week scan at the regular NHS hospital, and um we were we were a bit like alright, we we've already had a scan, so this is we're just we're going through the motions, you know. And um, and as they were scanning, the sonographer said, Sorry, can I just check? You've already had a scan, and we're like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they said, Well, you you know there's two, don't you? You know it's twins. I could not believe oh my word, you must have nearly fallen off the bloody table. Oh my god, what what did you say? What did you do? I just started laughing and controlled to the point where my my stomach was shaking so much because I was laughing that the stenographer was like, Okay, can you take a few breaths? I'm finding that hard to imagine. Little jelly beans being bounced around inside. Oh wow. So when so what age were you when you had the twins? I was 39 when I had them. Yeah. So just before I hit my 40s. So I think that the combination of having small, right, this this is it. The combination of having twins, small babies, small toddlers, the pandemic hitting, at the same time hitting perimenopause, all of that combined to, you know, really that that's what kind of knocked my confidence sideways and left me feeling like, okay, we need to do something about this. Wow, that is a triple the triple whammy there, wasn't it? I mean, that's that is a lot. And also you were dealing with uh, you know, you already had your eldest who was a twen, or uh what how old was she? Well, she was eight when they were born. Okay. But yeah, going then going through the kind of preteen stages. Yeah, it's a lot. That is a lot to juggle. Oh my word. So I can see why, yeah, that would be um uh enough to just turn you into I don't know, less than what you could potentially be if if that makes sense. Um just you you'd have just been back to the bare bones thinking, okay, let's just keep everything at I don't know, ground zero. It was a real survival mode of like we just need to get through each day rather than thriving, it was surviving. So what was it like once you came out of lockdown then and you've got the twins now going to school? You're now how many years since you were first doing the school run with your eldest? It must have felt very different. Yeah, I mean, so my eldest had been at secondary school for one year, we'd one year off primary school, and then we were back to to reception again. Um, yeah, I I quite liked it because I missed it, and I really love that I've got so I've got really lovely school mum friends from when my eldest was at primary school, and I really missed that, you know, going to the school gate, seeing people, and I've got to know a lot of the the mums that from the twins here now, and I just really like that every morning, just that I know some people are like, oh, the school run, I hate it. I quite like it. Is that controversial? Yeah, I quite like going to school. No, I think it's nice, it's nice to have that that yeah, there was always that nice sort of 10, 10, 15 minutes chat after the kids had gone in and you'd stand by the gate and catch up with some of your mates and then go, should we just go for a coffee or should go for a walk? If you weren't working, obviously. Yeah, no, it's nice. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I'm now at that point where you hardly see anyone at the school drop. It's just like, you know, one one's dropped out, dropped outside the school, and one you could actually speak to a teacher if you wanted to, still my my youngest, uh, but in general, it is drop go, yeah, and you don't speak to anyone anymore. I find that really weird about secondary school actually, that I don't know the parents of you know my my daughter's friends that well, and especially when it's like, oh, can I go to so and so's house after school? And I'm like, I don't know so-and-so's parents. Isn't this person? Like, yeah, is it alright? I don't know. It's a whole new thing, and it's funny because some parents I think are up for you messaging and asking for a little bit more information. They you you know are quite open. Some like we've had kids that have come to stay at ours for a sleepover, and I've said to my my eldest, like, does her mum want to come in? Does she want to come and see where she's gonna be? You could be anyone, Katie. I could be anyone, exactly, but you don't know who's coming into the house. I always sort of say to to people, I give them a bit of extra information that uh hasn't necessarily been asked for, but I think I I just want to say exactly whether it's gonna be me or my husband at home, no one else is coming to the house over that sleepover, there's no you know, weirdo random uncle coming round that you don't know about. But yeah, it's it's funny, isn't it? It just that communication seems to go out the window a bit. I remember what w with play dates when they were younger, there were some parents that wanted to stay for the whole play date, and I totally get that. They they don't know you enough to just leave their child unsupervised by you, and it's yeah, everyone's got their different I think boundaries on there, haven't they? And I think that's quite hard to navigate as well, is yeah, because you know, my my daughter will quite often say, Well, so and so is allowed to do that. Her parents are letting her go up to London, you know, to do whatever it is that we're doing. And I'm like, okay, great, that doesn't mean that I'm going to. Exactly. I hear my mum in my head then going, Well, if she stuck her bottom in the fire, would you do it? And that was always the expression. I love that. I know, I know. Um, so the Voice Plus Life is you know, taking on midlife with style. So I do really want to go back to to your style evolution and how have you what how do you how do you get dressed now, Alison? What do you do when you go to your wardrobe and or when you go shopping, um, what what are you looking for? What makes you what makes you feel good? What makes you feel stylish? I I mean, do you remember year a few years ago there was the um Marie Condot who was like the um decluttering, the first decluttering expert, and she gave this phrase which was does it spark joy? Like, you know, if you're if you're trying to work out whether you want to get rid of something in your house, hold it and say, Does it spark joy? Now I'm I don't have success with decluttering, you know. My house is uh an absolute pit. But when I'm walking around a shop and there's so many different things, and you know, you're trying to work out what's for me and what isn't, that is what is in my head. Does it spark joy? Because if something is just like that's quite nice, no, it's going back. Yeah, because if it's am I gonna have to make myself or make it work, am I gonna have to make it work hard for me to like it? Then no. Exactly, exactly. I am and I and I do sometimes get you know, I forget about it and I get caught up with what other people are talking about and what they're loving. And I a few weeks ago, I bought a pair of yellow jeans from the supermarket and they've got like brown polka dots on them, and they're barrel leg or they're cropped or some nice shape, and I was so excited to get them, and then when they arrived, I was like, I'm not sure I like these. And I tried them on. I took the tags off because I was a bit hasty and I wore them. I was like, no, I'm really not feeling this. And I posted a video about it. I was like, I think I've made a mistake buying these because they were like viral jeans, everyone was buying them, and I got swept along in it, and I was like, and so many people commented saying if it's not a hell yes, then it's a no, or something along those lines, and I was like, Yeah, you're right, because I'm never gonna reach for them in my drawer. I'm just gonna be like, Oh no, I'm not really feeling those. So I whacked them on vintage last week, sold them, and I can put the money towards something that does make me happy. Exactly. I mean, I try and do the the clear out where I look in in the wardrobe and say, Have I worn it once this year? If it's a no, unless it's for occasion wear and things like that. If it's something that I'm just not taking out of the wardrobe, and not just because I hadn't ironed it, but just because for whatever reason it's not doing it for me anymore, it's time for it to go on to vintage, off to the charity shop, or what sort of state is it in as well? I just helped a friend do a wardrobe declutter. Again, she was in her own style rut, she just wasn't, didn't know what to put together. And for some of the things when she was taking them out and putting it on, if it looked a bit tired or if it looked a bit bobbly, and I said, you know, would you buy that from a charity shop now if you saw it now? If the answer's no, then we're either turning it into I don't know, rags for cleaning, or they're going to a recycling. There's a lot of places where you can get sort of clothing recycled if it's not usable anymore. You know, there's there are ways to be able to move those things on if they're not good for the charity shop or vinted. But yeah, if if it's not right for you, it might be right for somebody else as well. And let it spark joy for somebody else. 100%. Clothing for me, it's got to be comfortable, you know, brightly coloured or some really cool pattern, but also I feel like it has to fit in with what uh what you know, other other items that I've got in my clothing. So no point in having something that just doesn't go with anything, and you struggle to, you know, I what when I'm when I'm buying something, I've already got to have a bit of an idea in my head of what I'm going to wear it with, how I'm going to accessorise it with the things I already have at home. Otherwise, it's just not going to work. How do you feel about colour? Because you said that you you reach for colour a lot more because I've known women uh say to me, Oh, that that's too bright, it's it's it makes me stand out too much. And I find that quite an interesting, an interesting reason to not choose something that some people think that they either shouldn't stand out or that they're embarrassed to stand out. And I guess that comes down to your self-confidence, doesn't it? Definitely. I can it is a funny one. I can really relate to that because you know, a few years ago when I was just wearing like black leggings or joggers and dark coloured sweatshirts. I know that a big part of that was about me trying to blend into the background. I didn't want to stand out, I didn't want to be noticed. Um, because again, I just didn't feel like I was worthy of being noticed or standing out. And I mean I wasn't walking around like sobbing in the streets and like, don't talk to me, don't even look at me. But it was just this disgusting feeling deep inside me. Um, so I think that I think that because of that, I just had this reaction against it, and I've just gone for bright colours and you know, and I haven't, you know, I don't pay attention to which colours suit me in particular. I'm kind of of the opinion that if you whack a bit of fake tan on, any colour will suit you, um, or like a bit of blusher. So I just go for colour that makes me happy and that I love. I think for me, my my insecurity is that I would worry that people would think, oh, who does she think she is? That's been my biggest fear is that if you dress up just a little bit too much or if you stand out a little bit too much, it's you're saying, Look at me, look at me, and you think that that's what I think that's what people are gonna think of me. And that's been my style before. In the and I look back and I think, oh my gosh, also I wasted, I wasted my 20 something hot bod on not wanting to stand out, you know, because I was scared that people would think that I thought too highly of myself. And I I don't know where that comes from. Is that is that the patriarchy? Is it do we do it to each other as women? What do you what do I think it is a patriarchy. I think it's also um you know internalized misogyny. I think that I mean that phrase, who does she think she is? When you said that, I was like, that resonates really deeply. And I've I've got like a an Instagram post scribbled on my notes where it's like, you know, that used to be one of my biggest fears was someone saying, Who does she think she is? And actually, I've now got to a point where who does she think she is? Oh, actually, I think I'm awesome. And I'm actually at a point now where I really like myself, and that's really powerful. So if you want to know who I think I am, I'm amazing. I'm okay with that. Yes, it is. I think you really do have to shake off those those thoughts a bit. It can be it can be tricky, and particularly in our in our industry, you know, someone wrote something about me on a on a social media platform recently, and I did see it. And I'd been doing a lot of stuff. I'd been doing a lot of stuff with work and you know, cool projects, some stuff that I was really proud of. And this woman, and it was a woman, which makes it even worse, I think. Um said let me get the wording right, if she was a chocolate bar, she would eat herself. And it totally broke my heart for a moment. It really did because I'd been working so hard on some of the stuff that I've been doing, and I was excited about it, and it wasn't about me, it was a it was stuff that I hoped other people were gonna enjoy and like and benefit from. And and I just thought, wow, women really can't stick their head above the the parapet. It's Paul it's tall poppy syndrome, uh, or Paul Toppy, as I was about to say. Exactly. Who's Paul Toppy? Um, and it is, it's just like, oh, don't don't don't you stick your head up too hard. But you know what that's about, don't you? That's about that lady, that woman. She she wishes she could do what you were doing, and she would not be able to stick her head above the parapet and do what you're doing. So she wants to chop you down. She wants to, you know, why should you get to do it if she if she can't do it? And it those comments are 99% about 99% of the time they're about the person making the comment and nothing about you. Right, Alison. We'll do a little game of this or that. Uh it's always supposed to be a quick fire round. No one has managed that yet. Everyone likes to elaborate, and if you want to do that, that's absolutely fine. So we're gonna go easy first with heels or trainers. Trainers. Instagram reels or podcasting. Podcasting. Coffee shop or wine bar? Coffee shop. I've got a bit of a hangover today, so coffee shop. But if I'd asked you yesterday, it might have been wine bar before the night out. Old colour or neutral tones. I think we know the answer to this one. I'm allergic to beige, so bald bold colours. Brilliant. School run in leggings or jeans? Jeans. City break or beach holiday? Beach holiday. Social media trends or timeless style. Social media trends. That's cool. No, I like I like that. I like because there's sometimes you just want to jump on a jump on a new cool look. Uh big night out or cozy night in. Cozy night in, especially tonight. With your hangover. Might be a fish and chips night tonight. Uh designer handbag or high street bargain. High street bargain. Summer dresses or winter knits? Summer dresses. Reality TV or true crime? Reality TV. What's your favourite then? Come on. Oh my goodness. I love a bit of like selling sunsets or married at first sight. The trashier the better, honestly. Everyone's obsessed where I work with is it math? Maths or math? That's Married at First Sight, yeah. But the Australia one. I haven't watched the Australia one. I need to get on board with that. I've not watched any of them. I can't, I get I get real secondhand embarrassment. I really struggle with it. It gives me anxiety. I can just about do celebrity traitors. That's about the only one I can manage. Uh minimal makeup or full glam? Minimal makeup. Text messages or voice notes. I'm a fan of a voice note. I know that not everyone is, but I quite like it. I'm getting quite into them. I never used to be. I used to find it strange when someone sent one to me and I was like, oh, what is this? And now I've started to do them back. I'm like, okay. Now, does confidence come from style or mindset? That's an interesting one because I feel like for me it came from style and then developed into mindset. As you you described earlier, you kind of pushed the habit and made it happen. Yeah. Which you did, which is amazing. Now I always love to round things up with something that my guest has been loving. A recommendation could be a book, a website, something that's just really helping you in your life, or just something that you've been been up to that that you like to share. Oh my goodness. Well, it's not it's not something that's gonna enhance anyone's life. Well, actually, maybe it will, but in the vein of me having a nice night in this evening with my hangover, I have been obsessed with watching a TV show called The Pit. Have you seen it? I have heard about it, it is on my list. Tell us about it. It's so good. It's on HBO Max, which you get if you've got Sky, or you can subscribe to it. And it is Noah Wile, I think his name is, or Wiley, who was in ER years ago with George Clooney. And um, there are two seasons of this, and it's basically 15 episodes in a season, and each episode is one hour of this shift, so the whole season is just one day. It's in real time. It's in real time. It's not at all. So it's like 24. I don't remember 24. You know how 24 was like you had the clock going bip, bip, bip, and it was really real time. This feels a little bit more creative license. Um, you know, we don't get too bogged down with the but hang on a minute, that person's just appeared here and she was up there before, you know. Um, but it's just amazing, and just the characters, the human, you know, stories through it, the drama, yeah, fully recommend it. I heard someone describe it as Grey's Anatomy without the sex. Yeah, but also maybe it's more like Grey's Anatomy just in the trauma room, and right with probably better characters. I mean, I'm a big Grey's Anatomy fan, and I'm on like season 24 or whatever it is. Yeah, yeah. The early days of Grey's was good. I would say it's about it. The pit is as good as the early days of of Grey's Anatomy. I'm gonna have to give it a go. Gosh, but that the old school Grey's Anatomy, the Catherine Heigel, Sandra O, back at the beginning when they were young. Oh, George and McDreamy. Yeah, oh gosh, when those guys started to leave, it was just like, oh no, it's just not the same anymore. It's still a great show. It's still a great show. Yeah. Oh, well, that's a great recommendation. Alison, thank you so much for coming on. It's been so nice to chat to you. And I hope anyone listening that is maybe finding themselves in that bit of a style rat might be inspired by you. And go go and find Alison on uh social media. You'll find her, obviously, her podcast, which is not another mummy podcast, and your blog is not another mummy blog. And then your Instagram is Alison Perry. I am Alison Perry. I am Alison Perry. I like that. That's just like what we were saying earlier. I'm great, I'm awesome. I am Alison Perry. Damn right. On that note, we'll finish up. Alison, thank you so much. Thank you, Katie. And if you want to listen to another episode of the 40 Plus Life, I'll be releasing another one on Tuesday. So do tune in and make sure you're subscribing and commenting and leaving those five star reviews and all the things that that help get that podcast out there. So thank you so much. Take care.