6. Parenting By Design: Conscious Parenthood & Raising Whole Children with Shawna Stanley

In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend, Shawna Stanley, for an authentic conversation about raising children through the lens of frameworks like Human Design, Gene Keys, and Vedic Astrology—and what it truly means to parent from a place of observation rather than control.

Together, we explore Human Design energy types, neurodivergence, conscious parenting, and the codependent patterns so many of us unknowingly inherit from our own upbringing.

We also dive into what it looks like to raise children who trust their own bodies and instincts from the very beginning, rather than spending decades unlearning and healing what was never honored in the first place.

Topics we cover:

• An overview of Human Design energy types: Projectors, Generators, Manifestors, Manifesting Generators, and Reflectors
• How each energy type experiences alignment versus misalignment in the body
• The connection between certain Human Design and Gene Keys traits and neurodivergent expression
• Reframing autism and ADHD as gifts and differences in expression, rather than simply diagnoses to manage
• Vedic Astrology versus Western Astrology and what each reveals about a person's soul expression versus their conditioned expression
• Codependency in parenting and the importance of humility, repair, and allowing your children to witness your humanness as a parent
• An introduction to Stewards of the Future, a growing community and school of thought centered around honoring each child's unique design

This episode is for every parent who has ever wondered if there's a deeper way to understand their child—and for anyone who is still untangling the patterns from their own upbringing.

To learn more about Stewards of the Future and Soul Blueprint readings, visit stewardsofthefuture.co, or connect with Shawna on Instagram at @shawnastanley_ 🤍

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to connect. Follow me on Instagram @drlexistiles for more reflections, teachings, and tools to support your own pursuit of wholeness. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Welcome to the Pursuit of Holeness podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Lexi Stiles. Everything here has one common thread, the intention of bringing you back to the healthy, divine, and worthy self that you are. We'll gather for conversations about Eastern medicine, holistic and preventative health care, the power of the subconscious mind, and to witness the authentic journeys of like-minded, inspirational humans. You're already whole exactly as you are. Let's help you remember that. What's your how do you know when your body is on purpose or in flow or doing something that you're meant to do?

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Like what's your unique signature? I usually just get like a surge of energy. Yeah. Typically that's like there's just this feeling in my body. Like, yes, like move toward that.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

And how about when you're not supposed to be doing something?

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Um, I just shut down. Wow. Especially cognitively, my brain just like goes into this, like really foggy place.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

And do you find that's getting stronger these days as we're being called into deeper alignment? Yes. Like you just can't ignore everything alignment for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Yeah, everything my system's just like, nope.

SPEAKER_02 1:23

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

I'm not gonna participate.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

And how do you navigate that in life? Do you make decisions through that realm or do you still feel like you're in a place you kind of have to muscle through some things?

SPEAKER_01 1:32

It depends. Usually, like day to day, I'm pretty good about boundaries and you know, not participating in something I don't want to. But in situations like this weekend, for instance, it's like commitments, right? On the calendar, I only have 48 hours to hustle and get things done while I don't have my tail. And so there's that part of me too that's like, you know, you've committed to doing this. People have paid you.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

That's pretty if there's money attached to it. Yeah, that's yeah, yeah. It still strikes that kind of survival aspect. I think that's where we still exchange or give away our power is when it's in exchange for something that actually supports survival. Yeah. Do you see a world where we can actually live just based on what is giving our body a yes, what's giving our energy field a yes, and and not have to partake in the other?

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Yes, but I think the only way that we will get there is if there's a massive collective rebellion against like hustle and grind mentality in general. And what that would look like is massive collapse. Because people just can't function anymore. And I think we're kind of seeing we're seeing the divide, I feel like, starting a little bit, you know, where people are no longer willing to participate in all that for sure. Um and I think more than anything, it's the people that are actually allowing themselves to live that way in more alignment with more spaciousness and more authenticity. You're giving permission to the other people that think that they still have to operate a certain way. But it takes so much conscious, um, yeah, like consciousness to be able to even allow your body to start speaking to you. Because it's so easy to override this. And I see this with projectors all the time. And it's not until they're absolutely flat on their back that they, you know, are like, um, why do I feel like I'm dying?

SPEAKER_02 3:42

It's so interesting. The world has been operating in like a, and we can get into detail of what this means, but the manifesting generator realm, and we're actually shifting into the realm of projectors, kind of leading the way. But I wanted to, as you said, that as we do it, it gives other people permission. I agree with that a hundred percent. And often that's subconscious, but I think consciously still at first right now, it's giving people challenge and almost threaten. Yeah, like I will I'll have conversations with people that are within the hustle culture or within the grind culture still, and they're like, so are you super busy? And I'm like, Since when is that a marker of success? And why is that something that you want to be proud of me for? That I'm so busy that I don't have time to create spaciousness in life. So it's like it's so interesting to see. And I think our work in being kind of at maybe the forefront of it is becoming so integrated and sure of ourselves and what we're doing first, yeah. Which takes a while. It takes like insulation, it takes protection. And then when we're so sure of it, that's when we can be true inspiration for others.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

Well, and I think that's why so many of us have been called to be here in Nosara, because you have to put yourself physically, energetically in a space that doesn't let you move against your divine design, right? Or against like who you're actually meant to be. It's like you just keep getting um confronted over and over again, whether it's you know, money starts going away, relationships start to crumble. It's like you're being forced, you know, to move in a different way and in a different direction. Um, there was something that I was gonna speak to. Oh, we're actually existing in a generator society is what it is. It's not even the many gen is, I feel like the bridge in a sense, um, because we still have to wait to respond. So there's still a little bit of that, like, you know, we have to feel things out, we have to allow uh opportunities and things to come to us. Whereas like generators and manifestors, you know, it they're more of the like initiators and they're more of the grinders. So um I would say we're actually living in a generator society, and that is one of the hardest ones to pump the brakes on. I mean, if you think about it, even just from a mechanical perspective, like you fuel up a generator and you plug it in and it just goes, right? And so I think that's the mentality that we've been in. And that, you know, if we're doing something one way and it's producing and it's creating quote unquote success, why would you deviate from it? Um, yeah, and the projectors are here to just disrupt all of that. And it's fascinating that I connect with uh more projectors that operate more like generators.

SPEAKER_02 6:40

Oh, it's insane. Like, how are you still standing? It's heartbreaking. It's insane.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

It's heartbreaking.

SPEAKER_02 6:47

Yeah, one of the closest people in my lives is a projector, and he works harder than anyone I have ever met, and still like deep, deep, many, many years into his life, is still operating like 40, 50, 60 hour weeks.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

Well, they wonder why things aren't going with ease and with flow and I'm like, because you're so living against it. Must be so difficult. Like, what do you, where do you think people even start with this is how I've lived my whole life, especially if you're in an older generation, like 30, 40, 50 years. I've been operating this way my whole life. Everyone around me operates in this way. How do I suddenly start to respect and respond to my innate and authentic energy?

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Well, I think the common theme that I have noticed is they just go through massive burnout. And it's only when their body starts shutting down and starts telling them, like, hey, you can't operate this way, that they maybe start to seek out a different way of living. They start using, you know, different modalities. Hopefully, they connect to human design. I mean, it's if you look at human design where we're headed and kind of just like the overarching theme, like for projectors. Um, Ra talked about this massive awakening of projectors. And the fascinating thing is I always thought that that meant more projectors were gonna be born. And then what happened in my world is that I started connecting with everybody's human design and I started running their charts, and I'm like, oh my God, there are so many projectors in my life, but nobody knows this because they haven't been introduced, you know, to this system to like understand how they're even designed to operate. So then I was like, oh wait, no, this is what this is. It's they start coming to the awareness that they are even a projector. Um, and then from that point they can start seeking out, you know, other more holistic ways of living and thriving, but it's a hard pivot. Right. It is, I mean, it is not just like a left turn, it is a U-turn.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

There's 180 degrees different from what you're doing. Yeah, and often that's when the healthcare comes or the accident or the real upheaval. It's the life events are always here to shake us up. It's always like a redirection or a lesson or a learning.

SPEAKER_01 9:13

Well, and that's the beautiful thing because projectors are so connected to everything energetically, right? Like that's what they're here to do is to sense, to feel, to see. And I think that um when they don't have that awareness of their body because they're operating in a way that goes against that, it's like there's this whole other world, this whole other part of them that then starts to become accessible. And it's really beautiful to watch. Yeah. And to see them, you know, come into like their fullest expression. Um, I'm watching that with a few people in my life. Um, you know, friends, my kids. I mean, this is the first, my son Mateo is the first one that I've, you know, had this um this information to even look into to guide him right through his adolescence. And in hindsight, obviously, I wish that I had had this for all of my kids because I have three projectors of my four kids. So that's crazy, right? Um and yeah, it's really so beautiful to see the difference in like how he's gonna be raised into the world versus you know, some of the entangling and some of the deprogramming that I'm gonna have to watch my other kids go through.

SPEAKER_02 10:41

That's true, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Um yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

Yeah, I I think that projectors, in order to exist in the way that the world is set up, they literally have to dissociate from their energy field. So while some of them, well, and most all projectors I know have the capacity to be the most intuitive, sensitive, energetic beings, the ones that are operating in another way are so far from that and so dissociated from their bodies. What do you see for other energy types when they're kind of misaligned or disconnected? So with projectors, you kind of see this like full burnout, life gives them a crazy event, something huge upheaval. What other kind of signs do you see for the other ones?

SPEAKER_01 11:25

I think with the the manny gens, there's so much self-doubt. Because again, living in a generator-built society, it's like once you figure out how to do one thing and you do it well, you don't deviate from it. And that's not how many gens are built. Right. Right? We're supposed to know how to pivot and pivot hard and make decisions on a whim and you know, follow your inspiration, follow your gut sensations and all of this. And so I think that that self-doubt piece is really crippling, especially when they do actually find success in something and then they try to move away from it. People are like, what are you doing? And it this is something I've experienced in my own life with photography, you know, and it's like people are like, but you know, you've been doing this for 14 years and you're so good at it, and like you have this very particular way of doing it. And I'm like, it it just doesn't light me up in the same way. Like, I have to give myself permission to move in a different direction. And I think that it's that um self-sourced uh permission that is a really key piece to Manny Jens uh needing to just kind of tune out the world and follow their, you know, follow the little glimmers, follow their whimsy. And I would say with with manifestors, um I think with manifestors it's just challenging to work with people.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

Because manifestors And that's when they're in alignment or out of alignment.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

Like if they're out of alignment, what do we?

SPEAKER_01 12:57

I think I actually I don't really have as many manifestors in my life. Um, and also I just want to preface and say that like I'm not a Gene Keys reader, I'm not a human design reader, I'm not even an astrologist, but these are systems that I have tapped into because they are always confirmation of my intuition. Right. And that's how it all started. It was like just pure intuition, and then it was like I would, you know, do a session with someone, and then I would go back and I would look into their chart, and I was like, oh my gosh, this is echoing literally everything that came through, whether it was channeling, pulling cards, and then I was like, okay, this is fantastic because now I actually have systems to introduce people to. I have even homework that I can kind of give them so that then they can create their own journey. Um, but as far as manifestors, they just they're the initiators, they're like the trailblazers, and it's a really challenging place to be if you're around people that are of a small mindset, right? Or scarcity mindset, and they're like, Well, I for thought about this and that and all the reasons why it wouldn't work. And manifestors are just like, no. And that can be a challenging place to be when you feel like you want support, when you want to feel, you know, validated in whatever decision it is that you're making.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

So they inherently have these pretty limitless mindsets, and then when they start to fall into a more limited mindset, it's probably that's when they're taking them too much.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

Yeah, influences.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

And then generators being out of alignment. I feel like the lack of energy. Yeah, just feeling, and I thought that's a thing for many gens too when we feel uninspired or tired or lethargic.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

I think a bit of that as well, yeah. Um, but for generators, that's a really good question. Um, my son Ford is a generator. It's interesting to think about like how this will all play out in his life, but it that's a tough one. I don't know if I have a I don't think I have an experience. Like that's how I'm always trying to relate to these systems, is like through my experience as people.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

Mark is a generator, and I feel like when he's off, he just loses his spark so quickly. Everything just becomes a little bit dull. He becomes a little bit more isolated or a little bit more like a protected version of himself. He because they're when you're around a generator that's in flow, they are just like electric. Like it's just like you can literally see the energy around them. So I feel like when they're living out of alignment or falling with something out of alignment, you just kind of feel that like dullness a bit more.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

Reflectors. I don't know any reflectors, I don't think.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

I know one. There's one here actually. Um, he works at the cafe in Garza.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Okay. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

Yeah. He's he's such a chameleon. I had a conversation with him actually, because somehow we got to talking about human design. And he was like, I I didn't know this until you know I moved here and someone showed me my chart, and he was like, Oh my god, it was a revelation. He was like, he was like, every room I walked into, every inner encounter I had, he was like, I would just lose myself. He was like, I I couldn't even like, yeah, he would just completely like merge with somebody else.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

Right, which is their capacity that's their gift in a way, but it shows up as a shadow until you know which I love these systems so much. And I don't love them as for them to become an authority over my life or to tell me what to do, but to become a validation of the things that I always felt and always knew about myself. And growing up a highly sensitive person and a very energetic and in tune and psychic being, there's always been things about me that have felt so different from everything I've seen around me. And I just felt like so alone and so weird growing up. Yeah, and then stumbling upon this, it was like 2019 or 2020. I was like, everything makes sense now. Like I have seven open energy centers, I only have two of my own. No wonder I feel so much of what's going on around me all of the time. What was it like for you discovering some of these tools?

SPEAKER_01 17:06

Um, I think it was that permission to pivot piece that was so big for me. And because I just always had a million ideas, and you know, my mom would say, like, just finish the thing that you started. Right. You know, and that was always that always played really heavily into my um, you know, my self-doubt, even my confidence about myself. It just had me constantly questioning, like, what's wrong with me? You know, and um I think also it was fascinating to learn that I actually have so many centers that are defined. And there was so much of my own knowing that I was constantly doubting when I do know, I know, and I need to just not question it. And I'm still on that journey. Even I'd say, even just in the past month, some of the other modalities and things that I've been using have really been echoing that to me. And um, so that was a big piece, and also yeah, just trusting, trusting my gut, like that that was a major one for me. Um also so I have an open crown, and I've always known that I can hear people's thoughts. The telepathy piece. Um, that's you know, really at the forefront right now. Finally, it's getting the airtime that it really needs and deserves. And there were so many times where the telepathy would be popping off between me and my kids, or me and my partners, and I would question whether or not what I was picking up on was true, or if it was just me. And then it started to get confirmed over and over again, and that was really confronting. Um, and I think also, so I have uh I have gate 51, which is the gate of shock. Um, that was a revelation to me, not so much through human design, but gene keys really tapped me into that one. Um and just understanding how so it's the shadow of agitation. So it's something that I receive and I produce. So like I can be really agitated by people and I can also really agitate people. But the highest expression of that is awakening. And if you think about it, you know, if you don't have friction, if you don't have agitation, nothing changes, nothing moves, right? And so as a child, the way that this manifested was me being really blunt, me just saying what I thought, right? And it's all very naive and innocent and all of that. But the way that I was met with people's responses really just confirmed more and more that, like, I'm too much, I'm too loud. Um, you know, I say things that I shouldn't say. And so it created that repressive part of my nature that I'm still now even at 40, you know, trying to unearth and realize that it's actually a gift because um I can create massive shifts in people's lives just with a simple conversation, a simple question. People will walk away and then they'll eventually come back and they'll be like, do you remember that conversation we had? You know, and and for me to be able to let go of any expectations around how I'm being received or met by people is really, really challenging. That's probably one of my biggest things to overcome because I want everything to land with love and a softness, and um that's not always what people need.

SPEAKER_02 21:15

No, and it's and it's not always how they will interpret. One of my favorite quotes is from the Buddha, and he says, I'm responsible for what I say, not how it's received.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:24

And I think sometimes we think to be loving or supporting that everything has to come across as kind or soft or gentle. And that's honestly not sometimes the service that people need. And even if it they have a moment of being triggered or of feeling averse to you, or saying that, I don't know, saying she says things rudely or whatever, that trigger is is the shock that they needed to awaken themselves. But I'm sure it's hard to harness that because you are such a kind, sensitive, soft being. They'd be like, I'm supposed to be here to shake you up, but also love the saying, man. Ruffle your feathers so that someday you learn to fly. And I really feel like that's yeah lands or that explains a lot of what you're here for. And someone in the moment might respond that way, but then in a year or two years that look back and be like, Oh, that was the greatest gift that anyone could have given to me. How can we detach the ego's desire to belong and to placate and to be seen this way from like my true purpose is actually something so much greater? And sometimes what's taken at face value is just doesn't tell any of the story. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Yeah, and the fascinating thing, too, that I've discovered through these systems is how they correspond to um, you know, certain other diagnoses, whether it be like ADHD or autism spectrum disorders, and that gate of shock seems to be a common theme for those who express more of like an asper's type of which isn't a part of the DNC 5 anymore. It should be, in my opinion, it should still be there. But um, you know, it's that bluntness um that society doesn't like.

SPEAKER_02 23:13

No, but there's also honesty. There's so much honesty. So much honesty. And society doesn't like honesty either. They like what's comfortable and what's easy and what makes everyone feel happy. And now that this revolution of like energy readers is coming up, we can feel the energy behind what's said. It doesn't matter what your words are. Exactly. There's the energy behind it. I was one of my favorite things about people on the spectrum or neurodivergent. People are people with Asperger's is feeling the authenticity and the honesty. I'm just like, that is so refreshing. It really is.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

It's so nice. This is something that is very present in my oldest son's life. Um, he presents very, very like Esperger's qualities. And people would say to me all the time that either they absolutely are obsessed and they love him because they get in his presence and he just starts revealing so much truth, right? But those who can't be in the presence of that because it causes, you know, some sense of feeling of inadequacy or whatever, um, or even just like a lot of times people with Asperger's, they don't know about like personal space. This is also very common with projectors, and this is where all of these things start to kind of cross over, is that autistic people, a lot of them aren't even aware that they have a body. So they're like in close contact with people because they're not they don't understand, like, oh, there should be space here. It's like I am you, you are me, kind of an experience, right? And so even to have my son get into people's presence, his presence, his aura alone, like causes, you know, a stir. And some people can't stand to be around that.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

Right.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

It's confronting.

SPEAKER_02 24:58

It's so confronting. And it's interesting, the I think that people pleasing and narcissism are like two sides of the same coin. One, neither of them really have a conscious intention behind them because they're both just survival mechanisms that we adopt, but both of it is just making it all about ourselves and nothing about the other person. Whereas someone that's showing up with a gate of shock or just pure honesty, he has no motive behind what he's saying. Yes, he's just feeling the truth of what's going on and expressing it. And wow, what a refreshing way. Well is this.

SPEAKER_01 25:33

And this is a collective like realization and even pivot that's coming online right now with um with psychology and all of these diagnoses, because what we're finding now is that a lot of people who present as narcissistic are not, they're actually autistic. And it's fascinating when you start to like look at the crossovers, but like you're saying, the the how it's presenting looks the same, but the motivation is different, right? Narcissism is about control, right? Whereas the autistic piece is I uh how would I explain it? The autistic piece is that um it's just more self-preservation, right?

SPEAKER_02 26:19

Usually, yeah, yeah. And I mean, people pleasing, it's also about control because you're trying to control the outcome of what somebody thinks of you. And in both cases, you're trying to achieve a sense of safety, but at any time you're trying to achieve a sense of safety, it's denying that safety actually just exists.

SPEAKER_01 26:37

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 26:37

It's just naturally there.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

So you have developed a what do you call it, a program, a system, a body of thought, a school, the stewards of the future.

SPEAKER_01 26:48

Yeah, so stewards has really been, um, if I think about it now, present day, it's been a lifelong journey. It's really honoring the child version of myself that needed so much and didn't get what she wanted, or what she needed rather. And then my 20-year journey of motherhood, I have, you know, children from 20 to almost two. So I've been in this like really long season of motherhood. And this is my sixth line in human design, right? Like all the trial and the error is culminating now into this body of work that feels like legacy more than anything. Um, and it's this understanding that children are born with their own dharma, their, you know, it's their own path, their own unique design. And the more that we honor that, the more that they can express their authority and their authenticity without having to go through all of this healing and untangling. I mean, there's there's always gonna be a natural part of that, but to be able to raise children who trust their gut, trust their instincts, you know, you honor them as like whole beings versus, um, you know, I'm gonna make you into a better version of me, basically, which I think has been a big program that's been running for a long time, you know, with our parents and our parents' parents. And it's been more about groupthink, whereas now we're moving into the age of individuation. And so I think stewards, what I'm creating is here to help parents uh gain a deeper understanding of who their child is as an individual and you know how they can best support them in the journey. And so it's like the parent kind of puts themselves more in the teacher role or sorry, the the student role versus, you know, I'm here to teach you. It's like, oh no, like I'm gonna allow my child to reveal to me who they are, and I'm gonna be in more presence around that.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

There's truly no greater act of love than trying to understand. So to enter into parenthood with just trying to understand your kid is actually the greatest gift we could ever give them.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Yeah, and the timing of this just feels so divine, especially with so much awareness, you know, coming to the service around neurodivergence and those of us who are, you know, connecting to our own autistic traits and seeing them as more of these gifts that have been laying dormant that just haven't had the support and the validation that they need so that they can be here to express as gifts. This is why we see so much of the dysregulation with um, you know, people or children who are diagnosed with a spectrum disorder because society is not built to support someone who's gonna think differently, right?

SPEAKER_02 30:00

It's not support, it's not built for individuation, right? It's not in the medical system, in the psychological system. Yeah. Um, and inevitably, every soul that comes to the planet is still gonna have their path and their challenges. So that this isn't, I don't think this is a system to try and remediate or remove life challenges, because inevitably life is still gonna give people what they need to become who they're here to become. But imagine a world where people don't have to spend a decade or two decades unlearning these patterns and then relearning and then healing all of the trauma that comes with feeling so unintegrated or feeling so unseen your whole life. Imagine the shifts that could happen in a world where people are born, they're born whole, they're bull born integrated. And as parents, we just learn how to protect that wholeness, nothing else. Yeah, we're not trying to change them or anything, put put anything on them other than respect and honor there.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

I have I have a real strong sensitivity around anyone with the sixth line, which yeah, so the sixth line is the you go through three very distinct phases in life. It's the trial and the error, it's on the roof perspective where you're basically like in your 30s and you're looking back over your life, 30s and 40s, and you're saying, like, oh, okay, one plus one equals two, like I understand why this happened that way. And then you get into the more role model role later on in life. But the trial and error expression of the sixth line is intense. And so, for instance, like my youngest son, Mateo, he's a six-two projector, and so as I watch and I observe him, um he he is just a force. Like the way his energy moves, the way he enters the space, the way he interacts with things, sometimes he's like a bull in a china shop. And I get to look at him as if he is the younger, you know, baby version of me. And then I'm like, oh my God, what did I need? Is this version of me who was constantly messing something up, right? And it's this reassurance of it's okay, it's okay. And if I heard more of that as a child, oh my God, I'm still gonna make the mistakes, but I'm not gonna be personalizing and internalizing this story of I am wrong.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

100% in the body and manifest as disease later on.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:40

That is so special.

SPEAKER_01 32:43

Yeah. And I'm on a mission really with stewards to this is kind of grandiose. It's like my big vision is to completely disrupt and change the language that we use around diagnosis for spectrum disorders and seeing it more as a process of discovery, less about diagnosing someone and pathologizing someone. And putting them in a box of limiting. And putting them in a box. Yeah, exactly. Um, so what I'm doing is building essentially this network of incredible humans who are of this same school of thought. A lot of them are neurodivergent themselves and understanding what they need in a society that has been operating against them. Um, and to really start causing some disruption and starting to create a new, you know, pave a new path.

SPEAKER_02 33:40

And it's gonna be clunky, but um, I'm excited and uh that line 51 is becoming the gift of shocking things.

SPEAKER_00 33:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:51

So it's so interesting that your line six is like becoming the teacher, and so much of it is trial and error, and you've been a mom for 20 years, like half of your life you've been a mom for, and now so much of it is culminating in your work and what you're here to offer and and the legacy that you're here to leave. But it's really interesting to see that like the trial and error came directly almost through parenting, would you say? 100%. And there's a there's something in your chart that even confirms that, right? Like you're something about being there's you you have some jinkies or something. Do you have 27 jinkey twists?

SPEAKER_01 34:29

I don't have 27. Um, it's more so through well, so my life's work is 59. Okay, which is so 59 is uh the shadow of dishonesty, the gift of um intimacy, and the city, the highest aspect is transparency. But in human design, it's expressed as basically it's it's the sexual key, it's the reproductive key. Well, right. I mean we're prolifically able to get myrtle myrtle over here. Yeah. Um yeah, it's through my children. This has been the most beautiful, heartbreaking part of my whole life's journey. Is it's understanding that my children have chosen to go on this journey with me. And it makes me super emotional. Because there's this part of me that tries not to like harbor, you know, guilt and shame around, you know, all of my um my shortcomings, right? Perceived short. Yeah, exactly. All of these things. And I have given my children a lot of spaciousness, especially my two older kids who are projectors. And there's a part of me that just innately knew that they knew better than me. And I am really grateful for that part of me, um, because they have made a lot of their own decisions pretty early on in life. Um, some to the detriment of our relationships. Um, but I am also just in full faith and knowing that divine timing is, you know, working in a realm that I don't have access to. Um but yeah, it's been through the journey of motherhood that I have connected to my own gifts, to my own, you know, neurodivergent aspects and qualities. And it was through understanding those for myself that I then also understood them for my children. And then I was like, oh my gosh, this just made so many things make sense. And especially having, you know, three of my kids being projectors. If you talk to anyone who's well-versed in human design, pretty much everyone has the same thought. And as if they've never met a projector that is not on the autism spectrum. They're all a little neurospicy, yeah, in some way or another. And so when I started, you know, digging into all of this and just doing all this research, I was like, oh my gosh, this makes so much sense. You know, like why my daughter would tell me that like her hands were trembling and she was shaking, you know, when we would go into certain um spaces or group settings, and she was just completely overwhelmed. Her nervous system was. Um and the interesting thing is that because I didn't have access to that part of myself yet, I couldn't understand it in her. And so now that, you know, I'm coming to this place where I'm like, oh my gosh, my mind is just being blown with all this information that I've received about me, it's like now I have an even deeper level of understanding and empathy and awareness around what my children have been experiencing all of these years. Um, so that's been really profound and a really important part of the journey. And I'm actually really excited to be a grandma. So weird to say that at 40. Nothing too soon. Hariah, if you're listening to this. Um but to be able to like offer that wisdom and that lived experience. And also for my daughter, if at some point in her life she has, you know, a full-on, you know, spectrum autism regression, which is very, very common. It happens sometimes like midlife for women or even in their 40s when they go into perimenopause because it's just like all these big hormone shifts, and you've been operating one way, and you know, you know you can't do that anymore as a projector. Like, I feel like because I have gone through such an interesting and very unconventional journey of motherhood, of like not always having my children with me. In a sense, it's like I'm gonna have so much capacity and so much understanding if she ever enters that part of life, especially as a mother. And all the ways that I will just scoop her up or scoop up her children and give her the space to just be like, please take care of yourself. You know, don't fall into these same traps that so many other mothers have where you just give and give and give and give, and you're under-resourced.

SPEAKER_02 39:26

And I just don't think that we I think integrity has been my word of the year, or maybe the past two years, because I just don't think there's anything that compares to the lived experience of going through something and then integrating it within yourself. Like there's no amount of education or learning or reading that could ever compare to the lived experience, which makes it so difficult. Like it makes it so difficult for the gifts to come online through actually like rubber meeting the road and life forming these. But what a gift you are to your kids, to the whole world that you have stayed the path and let these things that come into your life change you and evolve you and unearth you in a way that now you're so integrated in what you can offer.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

It has made everything make sense and made it feel like it's not in vain.

SPEAKER_02 40:17

And it's another, it's another branch of honesty in to be in integrity. How could we possibly teach something? How could we possibly be a beacon for it if we are not living it? Living it exactly ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

That's the fascinating thing about my 59th key, you know, if you're looking through the gene keys, the shadow of dishonesty. That one I had a really, really hard time with when I was first introduced to the gene keys because I was like, I'm not a dishonest person. My dad used to say, like, Shauna could never tell a lie, right? But what I came to realize is that I was being so dishonest with myself constantly, whether it was gaslighting what I what I felt and what I knew, um, or just you know, knowing that there was some part of myself that wanted to be expressed and I was just constantly denying it. That's being dishonest with you know what my body is trying to express. And that manifested in, you know, endometriosis, tons of gut issues, uh, just my poor body has gone through the ringer with that, and I'm still trying to recover from it.

SPEAKER_02 41:25

And it's all within that space of your sacral center, which is the guiding light for a man in gen.

SPEAKER_01 41:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:30

And when you deny it or you're dishonest about what it's telling you to do, it's going to stagnate, it's gonna hold on to things, it's gonna internalize. Yeah.

unknown 41:38

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 41:38

So, as a parent, what would you say is the balance between having this, these systems and like, because I could basically like I'm having a baby in four months, I could look up my baby's chart right after it's born, right? Because you need the timing. So, what would be the balance between me looking at its chart and knowing all of these things and then projecting these things onto it versus knowing these things, but just letting them be like a container where observation of the kid and the baby is still the driving force of how they're raised?

SPEAKER_01 42:10

I think observation is the key word. We need to constantly be the observer because as soon as we um stop doing that, then we're just operating from a place of ego. And I see these systems as more of a guidepost or like, you know, someone walking beside you with a lantern versus someone walking ahead of you. So it's like you still, you still have, you know, to make your own decisions, you still have to leave room for your child to express themselves in ways that you can't even conceive. That's the thing, is I think it's just knowing that you don't know. Right.

SPEAKER_02 42:49

Even if you have a chart and even if you have a chart, you just don't know. Or how it will express uniquely for them.

SPEAKER_01 42:55

Exactly. Yeah, because there could be like an overarching theme, but how that plays out in the intricacies is so unique to the individual.

SPEAKER_02 43:03

Right. Just because they have the shadow of dishonesty doesn't mean they're gonna be little liars and sex.

SPEAKER_01 43:08

Uniquely, exactly, yeah, or that lying might not look like some grandiose, you know, story that they come up with. It could just be them saying yes when they mean to say no. Right. And those are like, I know that makes my heartbreak. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So observation be observation is the the biggest, and when you're the observer, you're creating space. And that spaciousness is where the magic actually unfolds. And the more I've done that, especially with Mateo, I my mind is constantly blown with him, and especially as a mom of a projector, because he's not gonna see anything the way that I'm seeing it. He's a whole he's bringing me a whole new perspective. And if I'm not in the observer mode, I'm gonna miss it. And he's constantly just trying to reveal things to me. Um Yeah, I would say that's probably the biggest thing. And these systems are so limited too in so many ways. And so I try not to use them as, you know, the end all be all, but like I said, more of like a guidepost. Yeah, and they're not a crutch ever. Yeah, human design, like I like to use each of these systems in a way like, you know, the human design really helps to gain awareness around the body, how it operates, what is the most ideal environment. That's a big one for kids. Um, you know, like their environment, their authority. And then the gene keys for me speaks more to the emotional aspect of the child, like with more specificity. Like if I had to categorize for me, and this is just my own interpretation, what I've come up with is that human design feels more masculine because it's literally a graph, a map, right, of the body to help us understand. And then the gene keys is the deeper, more felt, uh more of like a feminine expression of the aura.

SPEAKER_02 45:09

The inner workings of if you even think about the names of it, it's like the gene versus the human. Like the gene informs the human.

SPEAKER_01 45:16

So yeah, I think just using them more as like a starting point is really, really awesome. Um, and trying not to get, you know, caught up and turn yourself or your child into a robot. Right.

SPEAKER_02 45:32

Or or finding out their environment and being like, well, we have to be in this environment all the time, or their eating style. But it's funny, I use human design with my patients. And I have a few patients who I work with the mom about the kid, but not necessarily with the kid. And we'll dive into their human design, and they're like, you literally know my kid better than I know my kid. So it can be so empowering and that kind of switch, especially for someone that's not really in the realm of spirituality or any of this like woo-woo stuff that we're so immersed and in love with. I think it can be these like little tiny unlocks that can truly be such a cascade of effects.

SPEAKER_00 46:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:09

Through. So, do you do readings for parents, like about if they wanted to do a reading about their kids?

SPEAKER_01 46:17

That's come up kind of organically, and I love it. It's usually the parent comes to me, and then uh sometimes, you know, they'll bring up a child and maybe they're having, you know, some challenges or something, and I look into their chart, and then I start sharing with them these just these little insights, and usually their mind is blown because they're like, oh my gosh, yeah, like this is how they are, and this is how our dynamic is together. Um, I would really like to start doing more readings that are centered just around the kids. That hasn't really transpired yet, and I'm excited for that because I do, I do sense that that's coming.

SPEAKER_02 46:53

I think so too. And I think it would be so powerful. Like again, that kind of licensing because all parents have so much doubt. We're just inundated with so much information about do this, do that, don't do that. And I'm sure there's these little whispers of what these parents or these moms always knew that they should do, and then to give them that licensing or validation through a reading.

SPEAKER_01 47:12

Yeah, and the readings are very organic. Sometimes um they feel very, very tapped in and spiritual, like there's channeling, and other times it's a lot more practical. Um, and I I actually use three systems, which is very many gen of me. Love it. So I'm using human design gene keys and Vedic astrology. The Vedic astrology piece is fascinating to me because what I noticed when I was doing readings for people, um, and and I don't go like super in depth with the Vedic, I just give them a different perspective because even taking on Western astrology can feel like a projection. Um, and the way that it's the way that it's been most impactful uh in my life and also with other people is that it's essentially like you have Vedic astrology as the foundational piece because that is like the actual placement of the stars and the planets when you were born, and then the Western astrology piece comes in on top, and that is according to seasons and cycles, and it's a very important part because that's where all of your life lessons and your karma is wrapped up in. But the foundational piece, the more dharmic piece, is the Vedic astrology. And what's fascinating is then when I start pulling in people's gene keys, there's this certain sequence that is three gene keys that speaks to your um your childhood wounding, it's your SQ, your IQ, and your EQ. When we start looking into that, um, that corresponds more to the Vedic chart, which is the first seven years of their life when they came into the world and they were just starting to take on the imprinting. And so the fascinating thing is that when you show them their Vedic chart and you say, Well, actually, your sun is this and your rising is this and your moon is this, and I tell them, think back to your earliest memories as a child and who you were and what you wanted and how you expressed yourself. They're always like, Oh my God, I relate so much more to my Vedic chart. But it's through family imprinting, school, and all of these other more kind of karmic um entanglements that we have that kind of pushes us more into the Western expression of our astrology. Interesting. Fascinating. So, like I'll use myself for an example. I'm a Virgo in Western astrology, but I'm a Leo in Vedic. When I was a child, I wanted to be on stage. I wanted to be a singer, I wanted, you know, people to like hear what I had to say. There was this much more expressive individual part of myself. But through religion, you know, Christianity, like all of this stuff, I took on more of the servant role, which is the Virgo expression, which is I'm gonna be in service to everyone else, which is more of like the shadow expression, right? I'm gonna be the nurturer and all of these things. And so I'm now coming into this different expression of myself from allowing myself to be seen, allowing myself to be heard, more of the Vedic expression of my trace.

SPEAKER_02 50:24

So essentially, Vedic could be like our soul expression, and then Western is more the human expression of it, but ideally, we're here to connect back more to the soul expression of things.

SPEAKER_01 50:33

Yeah, through all the lessons. Through all the Western. Yeah, it's fascinating.

SPEAKER_02 50:39

I think every parent needs to do this.

SPEAKER_01 50:42

Yeah, because if you can connect parents to that more foundational dharmic piece of who their child is and anchor into that, oh my gosh, like if if my parents had nurtured more of that part of me that wanted to be that expressive person and actually wanted to be seen and heard, life would look very, very different.

SPEAKER_02 51:00

Do you see a world where this could be integrated into school systems and into or care systems that are even outside of the ideally?

SPEAKER_01 51:08

I think that that would be uh I have big vision goals to actually create a school centered around that where parents, you know, go through a whole process of understanding first who their child is. Um, and creating uh a school that's actually more like an ecosystem versus programming so that children's like innate gifts can start to reveal themselves when you put them into you know certain environments and start collaborating in different ways.

SPEAKER_02 51:36

And yeah, it's just no wonder that ADD diagno ADHD diagnosis rates are what they are with how a hundred different designed little beings are put into the same room and expected to do the same things within the same framework and they're they're um evaluated in the same way, and it's it's such a disservice to who we are here to be.

SPEAKER_01 51:57

Exactly. Because you could put a a child in a completely different just environment and get a different expression of them, you know. Even if you're if you're doing like diagnosis, quote unquote, on people, environment changes everything, right?

SPEAKER_02 52:13

So it's you know what's your environment?

SPEAKER_01 52:16

Caves.

SPEAKER_02 52:16

Caves.

SPEAKER_01 52:17

Yeah. I'm um blend blended or blending caves, though. So I have a little bit more flexibility within my caves environment, whereas Mateo is caves, caves caves.

SPEAKER_02 52:30

Do you think families usually is there a relationship between? Because that would be difficult to have six people in a family and everyone has a different environment.

SPEAKER_01 52:38

That's actually a really I don't know if we have time for that today, but I think that that's part of the uh future movement of families is smaller. I think to accommodate like families individualized kids.

SPEAKER_02 52:53

Yeah. Interesting. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 52:57

So that children can have more of that individual attention that they that they deserve, actually. So you think about like people that used to have tons and tons of kids. Yeah. It's it's not for the kids. No, it's I need workers, I it's I need, I need, I need, I need, or I want, I want, I want. It's all self-serving. Like that has been probably one of the biggest life lessons that I've also come through with motherhood is understanding just how much codependency there is wrapped up in motherhood. Parenting in general. It's like, okay, child, how are you gonna make me look? How are you gonna make me feel? Please validate me. Yeah, there's a big one to untangle from.

SPEAKER_02 53:38

And I want a kid because I want to feel that love or because I want to be able to step into this role to do these things.

SPEAKER_01 53:43

Versus like opening yourself up to God's source and saying, please use me as a vessel to bring through whoever is meant to come through so that they can be the gift to the world that they need to be. Like they are not ours. That's the school of thought that I have is that they just come through us.

SPEAKER_02 54:01

Yeah, yeah. The the unlearning of these are my kids is such a powerful one.

SPEAKER_01 54:07

Oh, whenever I hear like elder, like grandmas or whatever, and they're like, my this, my that, my child, my life. I'm like, it causes this like angst in my system. I'm like, they're not yours.

SPEAKER_02 54:20

Especially if you understand that in this lifetime, we're just it's one little snapshot of the grander path and journey of a soul. Like, yeah, in this lifetime we manifest as this, but in another one we work completely different.

SPEAKER_01 54:31

Exactly. Yeah. All little pieces to a greater puzzle.

SPEAKER_02 54:35

Yeah. What what are there, are there any other like major unlearnings that you've had as a parent or that you see that parents project? Any other projections or unlearnings that you're kind of hoping and helping facilitate?

SPEAKER_01 54:51

I mean, I think the codependency piece is really at the epicenter of it. Um, because it kind of creates like a little bit of a ripple effect, you know, if if you don't come to the awareness of your own codependent, you know, dynamics within your relationship to your children. Right. Um other than that, I would say, oh, allowing your children to know more than you.

SPEAKER_02 55:20

Oh, that gave me chills.

SPEAKER_01 55:22

Allowing your child to speak truth and wisdom into you. That is a big one. This is something that's very present with um my two older kids, especially my daughter. And being a parent who can humble themselves enough and also to be able to apologize to your child. To admit, not fault necessarily, but your humanness. Exactly. That is that one's really present for me right now because um this has come up in multiple conversations with especially moms who have daughters that are around the same age as my daughter, like the 17 to maybe like 25. Um the mom comes off the pedestal. And a lot of times what happens is, you know, the the daughter doesn't want to, you know, have a relationship with her mom. Like I've this is something that's present in my life right now, or my daughter and I are just like in this really kind of conflicting space. And then also this has been echoed through some of my girlfriends. They're like, oh my gosh, I remember when I was 19 and I wanted nothing to do with my mom. And I think that it's because the mom is visualized and put on this pedestal of the all-knowing, the all-being. And I think that if we are able to actually humble ourselves more and see our children from like an eye-to-eye, soul-to-soul perspective, there would be a lot less of that.

SPEAKER_02 56:57

Right. So we have to take ourselves off the pedestal first. You can't establish that because And that's the codependent right there. Yeah. And in the first seven years of life, kids don't care what you're telling them. They're care, they care what you're showing them.

SPEAKER_00 57:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:10

So if you show themselves I am the expert and I am the knower and I am a peer, like that's what they're going to adopt.

SPEAKER_00 57:16

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 57:17

So almost it's just an easy question that parents could ask themselves is like, where am I garnering self-worth out of my child, my child, or out of being a parent, or where am I using them to form my identity? Yes. Because even being a mom is just another another label we put on ourselves. It doesn't really describe the truth or the soul behind it.

SPEAKER_01 57:40

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 57:42

That's so powerful. Any other wisdom that you have? Oh gosh. You've been through so much, you have learned so much.

SPEAKER_01 57:54

I think self-compassion that is a big piece, especially for moms. Yeah. Like to know that you're gonna fuck up and that's okay. And to make sure that you are fortifying yourself emotionally, mentally, having, you know, other women around you that can also bolster um, you know, your just your emotional, mental well-being and being able to collapse when you need to and like not hold it all together. Like allow your children too to see you. Not and I'm not talking about being mentally unstable and completely, you know, yeah, putting the child in a place where they have to be the parent, but just humble, you know, like humble yourself. Um I would say that's that's a huge piece, and that's a big missing piece, I think, in a lot of the relationships, like our generation with our parents, a lot of times they're just so defensive. And all we want is to be soul to soul, eye to eye with them. And a lot of times they just can't allow themselves to go there. Yeah. And it's really frustrating because you're like, I know the relationship that we could have if that was present.

SPEAKER_02 59:17

Yeah, there's a denial of humanness across so many different spectrums of life. It's yeah, parenthood or mentorship or teachers, like there's this idea that you have to be perfect to be valuable to someone else. Parents have to be perfect and express as perfect to teach their kids properly, or whatever it is. And it's like the greatest gift that we can give is just showing the commonality of the human experience.

SPEAKER_01 59:41

Yeah. Yeah. And being a walking expression of all of it, which starts at birth. That is the ultimate human experience. And I really think that that is like the epicenter of the epidemic of people not understanding what it is to be a humble, beautiful human because we're just trying to control and orchestrate every part of the process from the get-go.

unknown 1:00:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:10

Yeah, and deny the innate wisdom intelligence of the body and almost in a way, like disconnect women from the ability to feel that. It's like these things feel innocent and on face value. It looks like they're created to be supportive for women, but I'm not so sure about that.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:30

I'll activate my gate of shock and say, fuck all of that. I will be here to say that I've been through this journey four times. Yeah. And every spectrum, besides, you know, I haven't had a C section, but um, yeah, the the systems are designed to strip us of our intuitive, innate knowing and our power and our voice. And it's heartbreaking, and but women are waking up.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:58

They are, and unfortunately, like you, you have to go through the system like that to see the flaws within it so that you can then speak about it and change it. And how lucky are we to have you? Thank you. Traversing this landscape and changing things for moms and for parents and for kids and for everyone.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:15

Thank you. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:17

So if someone wanted to connect to Stewards of the Future or wanted to get a reading, where's the best place?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:23

Uh, they can go to stewardsofthefuture.co and the website is live right now, and we're we, I'm kind of a one-man show behind the scene right now, very many gen of me, but I'm learning to, you know, pace myself and I need to get some support. Um, ideally launching the online community, because that's the structure of it, it'll be like an online monthly membership where you will have access to all of these incredible humans who are living life differently and want to help others understand what that looks like. Uh, everything from you know, parenting topics to health and nutrition, uh, neurodivergence supports, um, jinkeys, human design readings, spirit baby readings. I mean, it's gonna be really dynamic and I'm excited because it has to be that dynamic to be able to support families holistically.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:23

Um so parents could essentially like they will be able to maybe have a membership and then they just constant learning. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:29

They have access to a monthly recurring calendar of events that are just across the gamut of like really interesting things and brilliant minds. I'm really excited with the people that I'm connecting to. And there's a really heavy emphasis uh around neurodivergence because I think that is a key piece right now to helping everyone to tap into you know more of that individual expression of who they are, and let's like give that as much space as we can possibly.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:03

That's all I preach is bioindividuality.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:05

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:06

I think it's it is the way of the future, there's no doubt about it. But yeah, it's it's the way back to health and vitality and happiness and joy and ease and everything.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:16

Yeah. So they can they can go to the website and um add their email address to the wait list and get informed when when we launch. Um, but they can also connect with me just one-to-one through the website if they want to do readings.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:31

Okay. Yeah. So what are your readings hold, soul?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:34

A soul blueprint.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:35

Love it. Yeah, amazing. Yeah, okay. Well, thank you so so much. You're welcome. I love you. I love you. That's amazing. We'll have to do it again. Yeah, awesome. Thanks for listening, everybody.