Ep 1: Why you keep starting over (and it's not because you are failing!)

Have you ever got to the end of the week and beaten yourself up because (you feel like) you haven't achieved anything? Or you didn't get everything done that you set out to do? Even though you haven't stopped all week?? 

Then Sunday comes around and you tell yourself it's the start of a new week and this week will be different? But then Wednesday comes and you are back to just getting by? 

If that sounds familiar you are in the right place! 

About me: 

I'm Emma Bradbury, a personal development coach specialising in NLP and mBIT coaching techniques and a Level 2 Fitness instructor and Level 3 Personal Trainer. 

I'm passionate about about transformation from the inside out, helping my clients to get fitter and stronger both in mind and body.

I work with clients in-person at my training and coaching centre in Poulton-le-Fylde on the Fylde Coast and online. 

You can find me here:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100095409783100

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emmabradburycoaching?igsh=MXRxNWVib3kwczV4dA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

Website: www.emmabradburycoaching.co.uk

Email: emma@emmabradburycoaching.co.uk

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Welcome to the first episode of She Resets. Wow, this podcast has been a long time coming. And if you're listening to this first episode, as I would hazard a guess that you know me and you'll have seen this on my socials. And if so, then thank you for supporting me. And I know that you'll forgive me a few mistakes along the way. If you've never met me, then wow, thank you for checking me out. So, what is she resets? Well, it's all about resetting, it's all about coming back to you, and it's all about giving you some help, some tips, some support, some techniques along the way, and also helping you realize that you are not negotiating this life on your own. So she resets, we're gonna focus on mindset, we're gonna focus on fitness, we're gonna focus on confidence, and we're really gonna help you find the you that you authentically want to be living. So let me ask you a question. Have you ever got to the end of the week, collapsed in a heap, and thought, my god, I've just got by again, and there's this to do, and there's that to do, and I meant to do that, and I didn't get around to that, and oh my goodness, I am exhausted. And it's not because you spent the week doing nothing, it's not because you spent the week just sitting on your backside watching deli. It's because you've been seeing to and responding to everyone else's needs. Work deadlines, family commitments, school emails, appointments, shopping lists, washing, cooking, cleaning, taxiing, just life. It's all stuff that needs to be done. But somewhere amongst all of that, the things you said you were going to do for yourself didn't happen. Oh, I'll do it when I've done this, I'll do it when I've done that next job, I'll just get through a few jobs on my list and then I'll do what I want to do. And it doesn't happen. And then you start the next week and you think, right, this week's going to be different. But by Wednesday, you're back in survival mode. You're back in the avalanche of life just doing the basics. And if that all sounds familiar, then you're in the right place. So we need to get rid of this putting yourself at the bottom of the pile. And that doesn't mean to say to hell with everybody else, I'm gonna do what I want to do when I want to do it. It just means that you decide to prioritize yourself. You know, you're used to the cycle, life gets busy, you put yourself at the bottom of the list, you feel frustrated, you blame yourself, then you blame other people around you, and then you promise to try harder, and then you repeat that cycle the following week. And it's not because you're weak or incapable or useless, so stop thinking that you are. It's because you're carrying too much. I reeled off a list of jobs before, and it's so true. You've become the organizer, the caregiver, the problem solver, the reliable one, the one that sorts everything. And over time your own needs become negotiable. Let me ask you a couple of questions. So the kids are poorly, need a day off school. Who phones school and tells them? Who organises the child care? Or you are going on holiday? Amazing. Something to look forward to. Who sorts out the animal care? Who sorts out the passports? Who sorts out the laundry to make sure that you've got everything you need before you go? Who buys the sun cream? You're doing everything. And it's okay to not do everything. It's okay to pass on a few of those jobs to people around you. Maybe your other half. Maybe your older children. You don't need another Monday. You don't need to restart. You don't need to believe that every setback means that you need to begin again. You just need to pick up where you left off. It's that all or nothing cycle. And I know we're all very prone to it. So let me ask you a couple of questions. When was the last time you checked in with yourself? Like, really checked in. Really took a few minutes to ask yourself, how am I doing? What needs do I have that need to be met? Because awareness is always the first step. Once you're aware of something, you can then do something about it. Knowledge is power. So just ask yourself, you don't have to answer that question right now, just let it go into your unconscious mind, let it percolate, and then see what it throws up for you. But just ask yourself a couple of times over the next couple of days. When was the last time I checked in with myself? Identified my own needs. What have you been putting off? Because everyone else comes first. What is something that you've wanted to do for ages? Something that you've needed to do for ages, but you shouldn't have got around to it. For me, I need a sports physio appointment. I have got a knife in my shoulder blades, and it hurts. And I know that I need to go and get it ground out, but it's just I don't get around to it. I don't even get around to picking up the phone and making the appointment. And then it feels a bit better for a few days, and I think, ah, well, I didn't need to go anyway. And then it comes back with a vengeance, and I need to do it. But I think, well, it's not the end of the world, I can cope with it. I'll do it next week. I'll do it next week. I think I've been saying that now for the past six weeks. So, what is there something that you've wanted to do that you keep postponing, you keep taking a rain check on, so that you can put everyone else first and do what everyone else needs first? And what would you change if you just stopped aiming for a complete life overhaul? If you just could change one thing, what would that be? Would it be making a bit of time for yourself in the day? I strongly recommend getting out every day for half an hour just to walk. And the distance is important isn't important. The it's the amount of time you're out for that's important. Half an hour. Just a decent enough time to clear your head, to ground yourself, to become a little bit more mindful, but not so long that you feel that you can't fit it in. And go somewhere blue or green, go somewhere with blue sea, blue skies, green trees, green fields. Get out of built-up areas, go somewhere where you can connect with nature, and you can just take in your surroundings, and you can just really switch off. Take your phone, but don't be walking down the street scrolling, don't be walking down the street answering messages. I've done that, it doesn't work. You need to dedicate that half hour to you, and it's not a march, okay? We're not walking to get fit or burn calories, we're walking to exercise our mindset. So for me, that's a non-negotiable. I love to get out every day for half an hour and just wander and just don't think about anything. Or for you, it might be to stop scrolling as much, make a note of your screen time, and to not do it. We become slaves to our phones, don't we? We can sit watching TV in the evening and be on our phone as well, and we're not really present in anything. We're not really taking on board what's on TV. We're not really taking on board what we're scrolling. We're just doing the two simultaneously and losing hours of our life. So it might be that. It might be that you just want to stop entering the scroll hole. Whatever it is for you, there'll be something that you can do that'll just make a really big difference. So choose one thing this week that'll help you to feel more like yourself again. Not something productive, not something useful, not something needed, just something that will help you. And then commit to it this week. And even if it's not every day, that's okay. We don't want to get stuck in that all or nothing cycle. You can't do it every day, so you're not gonna do it at all. That's not the idea. You do it twice this week. Well, it's more than last week. You do it three times, that's amazing. The more you do it, the more of a habit it becomes. And then you've done it, you've changed something. And as we go, we'll talk more about the cycle of change, and we'll talk more about how you can make those changes sustainable. But for this week, just think about one thing that you can change that'll make a difference. You know, you're not broken, you're just exhausted. And as you come with me on this podcast, this isn't about becoming someone new, it's about refinding yourself, it's about reconnecting with yourself of old. And it's about checking in with yourself, looking after yourself. Liken it to the oxygen mask analogy when you go on a plane and they say to you, put on your own oxygen mask before anybody else's. Because you can't help anybody else if you can't breathe yourself. It's the same thing. So let's have you all putting on your own oxygen mask, helping yourself, and then it's gonna impact every aspect of your life in so many positive ways. Because looking after yourself isn't a luxury, it's a necessity. And that's it for today. I hope you've enjoyed listening to me. I hope you found it useful. It's just a bit of an icebreaker, really. We're gonna get into the nitty gritty as we go. So until next time, thank you very much.