006: Deliz, Ana & Ritchie: The New Parent Decisions Nobody Warns You About

A tiny human turns your life into a constant stream of decisions you never saw coming, and some of them land with a deadline. We sit down with Ana and Ritchie, parents of a nearly two-year-old and preparing for baby number two, and let the conversation go where real parenthood always goes: sleep traps, messy houses, and the surprising moments.

We get into the practical stuff first, like the daily choreography of doing the dishes, doing the laundry, and getting a toddler down without losing your entire evening. Then the talk takes a serious turn into one of those classic new-parent decisions people rarely discuss out loud: circumcision. 

From there, we zoom out to modern parenting challenges like screen time and the fear of raising an iPad baby when you’re already living on screens yourself. We talk YouTube rabbit holes, attention spans, and why judging parents from the outside misses the point when you’re exhausted and just trying to keep the peace. And yes, there’s a full story about a chaotic 3 a.m. play kitchen build.

If you’re a first-time parent, expecting a baby, or just curious about what parenting is actually like day to day, you’ll leave with an honest perspective and a few ideas you can use right now. Subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review if the conversation helps you feel a little more normal.

Transcript

Why This Conversation Starts Here

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Yo, yo, yo, what is up, everyone? I'm Luther, your host of your Daily Dose Podcast here in San Diego, California, brought to you by KPTZ. So before we jump into today's episode, I want to give you a little bit of context. In the first 15 to 20 minutes of this conversation, honestly, we were just joking around about hair laws, going bald, roasting each other, you know, just having a typical good old time on a Friday, a Friday night. It was it was just fun and hilarious. But, you know, somewhere along the way, the conversation naturally just shifted into something I wasn't expecting. We started talking about becoming parents for the first time. The challenges, the surprises, the decisions you never think you have to make until you actually are responsible for, you know, a little human. So I decided to start the episode basically where that transition happens. Promise you, Anna and Richie here, they are great. There's today's, they are today's guests. These are Delis, Anna is Deliz's sister. Richie's is her brother-in-law. Anna is also our lead designer at KPTZ Photo Booth. She's currently pregnant with her second child. Their son, Damien, is almost two years old. So they're right in the middle of navigating parenthood for you know the second time about to happen. They share stories, lessons, and excuse me, just funny perspectives that honestly makes me think, like, wow, I never would even consider that in my life. So, you know, whether you're already a parent, you're expecting your first child, thinking about starting a family, or you're just curious about what that journey is really like, I think you'll find something in this episode. So wherever you're listening, wherever you're out walking, on a run, driving, working, or just relaxing, take a time to sit up a little taller, take a deep breath in, then let it all out. Thank you for being here. This is your daily dose podcast brought to you by KPTZ. Enjoy the podcast.

Chores, Naps, And Running Hot

SPEAKER_02 1:55

Yeah, there's definitely times where like I'm like, okay, I got a lot of stuff to do. I need to wash dishes, do the laundry, try to get Damien down for bed, or take his nap, and I could knock all that out. I I I always I I cannot like I'll get him to sleep in my arms, but I can't transition him to just lay down on the couch or lay down on the bed so I can do the other stuff. And then I'm like, oh I'll just take a nap with him.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

That's probably like the best way to do it, right? Nap with him.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

It is, but me and Damien run run hot.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

We need the AC. We need a cooling blanket. We need all of the above.

SPEAKER_01 2:39

So Damien's what so September, what is July? No, it's still June.

SPEAKER_00 2:45

How old is he been? 20 something.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

Yeah, I'm trying to.

SPEAKER_02 2:48

Oh, sorry. 21 months.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

21 months.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

I always say he's a year and a half. Like a little over a year and a half. That's how I just remember.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

Coworker was testing me. They were like, oh, when do we when do we stop counting months? I'm like, we never do. How 396 months.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

Oh damn.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Yeah. And like I gave them the series. I was like, I'm 396. I felt that. I had an Excel sheet open. I just you just do equals 33 times 12. That's it. It's that easy. But the person's not looking at my screen. They just thought I knew my month. Damn. And I'm I'm off too. Like I'm I'm like 33 and a half. So no, 33 and three months. So I guess 399. Oh, almost a big 400.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

Almost.

Preparing For A Baby Without Overdoing It

SPEAKER_01 3:33

So did you guys did you read any books before?

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Before he was like, I had I read a few, but not like like I didn't sit down and read the entire book. It was just like things that like popped up, like feeding, probably sleep, schedule.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Did you watch any subscribe to any new dads on YouTube, any TikTok channels?

SPEAKER_02 3:51

It's kind of weird. I I watched a couple stuff on YouTube, but then the thing that was always on the back of my mind was I didn't want to be the dad that's that's like overly not protective, but like just into the whole process where like I start controlling his whole life and he kind of loses his chance to just be a kid. And I don't know, also I just kind of think like you know, I I think my parents raised me well enough to know what's right and what's wrong, and or like to make judgments for myself, so just kind of tackle things head

The Circumcision Decision And Doubt

SPEAKER_02 4:22

on. But the one I remember the first decision I wasn't ready for, and I had to kind of come up with a decision quick was circumcision. Was not ready for that. Yeah, I I don't even know how I came up to my decision for that.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

Were you set on having him circ circumcise?

SPEAKER_02 4:40

In like initially, yeah. So like I just remember my initial thought on it was he he will be circumcised.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

I love this. Let me just butt in here. I love this because for us two non-parents here that's uh that's doing this podcast with two parents. When you said the one decision that I wasn't expecting, I I'm telling you, dude, there was nothing in my brain that was going to say he's about to say circumcision.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

Well, oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

I just love it though. It's like yeah, super important, but like, yeah, but I just think it's fucking uh so funny.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

You don't think about that, you're like I wasn't thinking about it either. But then like when the doctor was like, hey, like you have like I think it was like his second month, and like like you like after two months you can't do anything about it. And I was like, Well, I was like, well, obviously, yeah, we we should do circumcision. And then I remember talking to one of my buddies at work about it, and he was like, Why? I'm like, Well, damn, I I hate that question. I don't have an answer. Yeah, and then I thought about it, I was like, I I don't know why. You do a little bit of research, and there's arguments for and against it, but a lot of it's just like there's really no reason for it, and so I didn't want to put him through the pain just because and and just you know, like if you could talk to me and you'd be like, Why'd you do this to me? And I'm not just like because I had to go through it to you too. I'm like, I kind of just seemed a little messed up, so I felt like I I couldn't justify it, so I was like, Oh, we should we we don't have to do it. I like that thought process. But now I feel bad because official number two. I'm like, well, that is just bad because I was like, older brother didn't have to do it, I'm not gonna force you to do it. But now I'm not I'm not trying to do research anymore because if I find something that says he needs to do it, I'm gonna be like, oh well, I'm gonna stop on your brother's a mistake.

SPEAKER_03 6:34

I guess I think it'd be fine.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Yeah, I think it'd be fine. I don't know. I think it's one of one of those more like religious practice, right? Or like old school before we've had running water and we could clean ourselves like daily or every other day. Now it's like you have running water, you can clean yourself. Like teach them how to yeah, teach them how to be hygienic and boom. Because that that's the main thing, right? Like when you're reading about it, it's all about hygiene. Yeah, like actually cleaning yourself and whatever and all that, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

And I like I left that decision to him because I was like, I don't want to put him through that, but also I remember the what a crazy thing.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

See, this is so see, you're so funny. So before we even start hit the recording, I go get the equipment and I come back, and Anna's like, I don't have anything interesting. I think this is interesting. This is something I I didn't even you don't you don't even think about, right? That's why I asked you what books, like what content did you did you did you read or absorb? Because the the next question which you you just flowed right into it was like, I'm like, what's the one thing was like I read, I talked to mom, I talked to pops, I contacted grandma, and this still got me. Like in the 18 months, year and a half, this still got me, and it sounds like the circumstance, and it's still a topic because maybe number two's coming in.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

We're like, oh shit, we're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

How crazy, how crazy, yeah. I don't know. Like, is uh like what did the did you like talk to the doctor? What did he say when you said no?

SPEAKER_02 8:08

Oh, they were like, cool, like they always respect our decision, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

Yeah, but they they wasn't like, hey, well, you know, you probably should, you know.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

I think they were like more against they were like, it's really not necessary, it's more like like you said, it's a religious thing, and like uh and we're like, okay, cool. We don't have to do that.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

It seems to me, I think it seems a little barbaric. But I don't know. Like, I don't like you have running water, you can clean that thing. Like figure it out.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

Like when he got his first shots, I was crying. I was like, who is gonna hurt himself? I was like, oh, if you want to go through it, you're gonna have to do it, you're gonna have to go in there with him, you're gonna make the appointment, you're gonna talk to the doctors, because I just couldn't do it. I just feel like it was gonna hurt. Like, why do why does he have to endure any pain? And especially that to give you that two-month window, it's like why? Like what is it within that time? Oh, because it's it'll regenerate faster if you do it within that window.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

I don't know if that's true, because I don't know what the Philippines say wait till you're like in your teens. Well, here that's what I'm gonna say. I think that's what my happened with my dad. Whoa. He told me stories about and like I think they but I guess I think the I don't know, maybe my dad's like telling me like some scary story. No, like so.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

I don't know if there's other Filipinos listening to this, you can tell me this is true, but he's like, if you go out out out at night past 13 and they catch you, guess what? Chop!

SPEAKER_00 9:37

Because your mom, I remember your mom telling a story.

SPEAKER_02 9:39

I don't know if it was about your dad or if if it was like some neighbor that you had that like I heard that they do it in their teens, like like like uh like like like they're already in school and everything, but like they go to the beach and there's like a guy that that's waiting there and that just cuts it, but then like to help it, I guess like stop redrawing. I didn't know that that's why, but like they have the kids run into the ocean.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Something about the salt water, it cures it, and it just makes it and your mom was telling the story, she was like, Is this still happening uh today? There's like places in the Philippines where it's not like developed, and they're just like what?

SPEAKER_01 10:17

How many people die from staff? I'm talking like God, water's not clean, man.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

That's not ocean water. Jeez, she's like, oh my god, these kids they look so funny. They have to wear skirts, and then I'm like, I'm not putting my kids for that. Yeah, and they're just like she's like, oh my god, it's so funny because they have to like stretch their legs so that the like it has to air out.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

I'm like, man, all these kids don't need to know laughed at while going to the ocean. I'm like, oh blah blah blah. Now now they're looking at goes, just wait till you get pregnant. It'll be even Jesus, dude.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

What a podcast.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

Oh my god, yeah, what an episode. This is gonna be the last one for you. Oh, it's fine. No, it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

So, this is the beauty of it, man. It's like regular conversations, just talking, someone's gonna find something in here. I'll bet you someone's probably thinking about children, thinking about having a kid, pregnant, they're gonna listen to this and be like, whoa, I have not thought about this.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

I'm in that two-month window.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

And that seems uh it actually like the more and more I think about it, it does seem like a pretty because how you said, like seeing him in pain, and you're like, Well, I don't want to put him through this again, and like that's gonna be more pain than just a shot, right? That's a little prick. Yeah. So what other things have like you experienced with him where you're like, oh, I don't want him to go through that?

iPad Baby Fears And Screen Life

SPEAKER_02 11:39

Oh, being an iPad baby, but it's just it's like it's hard not to having that was it like a couple hours apiece? It it's it's nice. Like we do try to limit as much as we can, but is there anything with Coco Millon that's coming? Because I it's I'm glad he's not watching Coco Millon anymore.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

Oh, it's not it's not Coco Mill. What is he watching then?

SPEAKER_02 12:02

I feel like he's watching some random videos.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

I was telling the least earlier. I was like, he started watching Mickey Mouse House, the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, da da da da. But as soon as Minnie and Daisy pop up, he's like, bored. Oh my Jesus, they're fun too. I don't know. I think it's because they just they're always bickering, kind of. Maybe it's Minnie and Daisy. They hire Pitt on their voice too. Because Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Donald. I I don't even understand what Donald Duck is saying sometimes, but he's all for it.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

Locked in.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

Yeah. That one, there's a Spanish one that he listens to that he likes too. And then there's the uh tickle song that he likes to.

SPEAKER_02 12:41

Yes. I think that's the creepiest video I've I've seen. Tickle song. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

Tickle, tickle, tickle song.

SPEAKER_02 12:49

No, I like to tickle all the time. You know, I'm like, I'm like, dude, like this is how kids get kidnapped. Geez, okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Yeah, but that come on, being a new parent, man, that has to be that two hour, one hour window of them just, hey, you're gonna look at these fun colors and I'm going to just decompress today, has to feel great.

SPEAKER_02 13:12

I do remember those one time where I think whenever I'm with with your guys' family, I'm I'm pretty cordial. I think I had Damien's first year. Like, uh I'm not all right, first of all, Damien's first year, and as an MVP, like I like she she she already knew uh like I'm I'm working. So she took care of all the late night duties. Honestly, she's just she's just a great mom. But the few times I'm gonna be able to tea.

SPEAKER_00 13:39

We need a clap.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

I don't fuck.

SPEAKER_01 13:41

I'm gonna mess it up.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

Like which ones we can I think it's a third one. Hey, great mom, there we go.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

Yep, third one. Third one.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

But yeah, like that first year was I think all of our patients were being tested. And like I remember this one time you came up to me because you saw him watching Coco Mellon, and you're like, Richie, I don't I don't think it's good that he sees all these colors. And I remember I was like, I was trying to come up with a way to be like get out of my face. I was like, I was trying to come up with a way to to like what's called be tactful. Well to to not be rude. Then I just remember I just said, I think I said something along the lines like let me know when you have a kid.

SPEAKER_00 14:28

Okay, I got that one.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

You I remember you turned around and walked away, and I was like, I'm such a dick. Well, I was like, I need this piece right now. I was like, Luther, you know me. I hate conversation. Yes, I will try to please anyone if like if I can. But I remember that day, I was just like, I don't want to hear how I'm being a bad dad right now. I was like, he he's he's calm, we're all calm. Let's just stay, let's be calm.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

Yeah, let's be calm together. I mean, this iPad is saving this podcast now, or else we'd be listening to cry. Yeah, blah blah blah. But yeah, attention spam was your second. Oh, yeah, unless it's a car then anything with wheels.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

Oh my gosh. I was talking to uh another couple, and they have two twins, and they're I think the twins are three now, maybe four iPad kids. Like, but every time I see them, iPad kids, which you know, whatever. And they're like, Yeah, I wish I I wish I wish I could do this, but I'm like, dude, we're we're iPad kids though. Like, I'm such an iPad kid. On my phone, dude, on my phone, but it's not just like forget the phone. We and slot together, just general screen time. Phone, TV, GPS, work computer, laptop, iPad, iPad, photo booth, like always looking at a damn screen. So I'm like, I'm I'm looking at these kids like they shouldn't be on iPad. I'm like, dude, I'm on my phone. I'm on an iPad, I'm on a screen.

SPEAKER_00 15:58

More like 90% of the case.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

Yeah, I would love to know. You know how it tells you how you how often you pick it up? I wish there was a global number of how often I look at a screen. Like how I intake an image from T from the TV, the GPS, the work computer, the work laptop, the the iPads, the all all of it. I would love to know. Because I feel like it it's more than 50% of when I'm awake, I'm looking at a screen. Like even in the backyard when I'm chilling, decompression or whatever, my phone's boom. Yeah, I'm checking up on my sport stuff on a walk. I sometimes I leave the phone at home and that's the only time. But usually it's there, boom, you know? So I don't know. Screen screen time is so strange, and it's such a uh it feels like it's a necessity to live, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

I feel like maybe because we live in San Diego, it's such a like you have to be on your phone, you need to know where you're gonna go or like what's grandma doing down there in Mexico? Like how how often is grandma on I have to call grandma to walk her through how to connect to the talent so I can see her.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Yeah, but like is she she's not on her phone, she's just chilling, right?

SPEAKER_00 17:17

She's like living her best life.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

I'll think about that. I'm like, those people, I I know every like as soon as I wake up, the first thing I look at is my email. It's the first thing I I look at. And then from there, I'm looking at checking email, Instagram, yeah, whatever. But yeah, I do feel like I have I just have to be connected. Yeah. Like, or I have to have like some type of touch to it. Like I gotta know what's going on. So when Richie sends me charger memes or or or sports stuff, I'm like, okay, I'm tapped in, I'm tapped in. I know nothing about the cocoa millon though. Sorry, bud. Well, no, no cocoa millon. What do you what is he watching right now? Just some random video?

SPEAKER_00 17:54

Yeah, he likes to watch like people like cars, but toy cars, like people putting them away or painting them or whatever it is, or just people tapping on the cars like it's the weirdest thing. No, I don't know why he has the fascination with like they're like, Can you hear that?

SPEAKER_02 18:11

I'm like, yeah, I can hear it, I could see it.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

Sponsored by Richie.

SPEAKER_02 18:19

That's the other thing, by the way, you guys, is he's taking over my suggested video feed.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Like, there's you gotta have his own account.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

I tried to, but we created a kids account. I just looks so silly. I'm like, I don't know, I don't know how to operate by kids, like the kids format.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

That's why you give him the remote.

SPEAKER_03 18:38

He'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

The other thing, too, it's crazy. There's there'll be times where I'll watch the video when I'm getting ready for to go to work, and I'll be like, oh well, I was like, like, I'll I'll I like Yu-Gi-Oh! So I'll be watching combo videos or breakdowns. And sometimes I won't be paying attention because I'm just trying to get ready, but I'll be like, oh well, that was a good point. Let me rewatch that later. And so I'll get to the office and I'll be like, where's that video at? And I'll check my history. And there's 40 different videos of an elephant talking to a dog or something, or balloon animals popping, or I don't know, some some random stuff. And it's and it's not because he's watching it, like so. I promise you, he's not on the iPad that much. He's just he'll he's learned that the iPad is is touchable, and but he sees a suggestion video and he's like, Oh, that's cool. Click. And he doesn't maybe two seconds in, he'll be like, Oh, that's a cool video. But then it makes it so I gotta scroll through all my history to find the one video that I was watching this morning. Brutal.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

You know what's funny? When we go to my mom's chat, my mom's TV is pretty low, so he can touch the screen. So he whenever he's like when he goes to my mom and my mom puts a video for him to get entertained, he's trying to tap the TV. I'm like, Jesus, it's not a uh touch screen.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

He's like, in 10 years it will be. Everything's gonna be a touch screen. I'm ahead of the game.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

I think the TV is touch screen. I think you're I think my mom's no. Oh, I thought your dad told me it was.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

No, that thing is ancient.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

The silver one? In the living room? The one that you got from I don't know where you got it from.

SPEAKER_00 20:13

Recycled from somewhere. It's like what we brought Damien today.

Kids Want Boxes Not Expensive Toys

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Someone trash is someone's treasure.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

The packing thing. Bubble wrap, bubble wrap.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

Damien loved it, by the way.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

So funny. It's just so funny. Our kids are just like it's you can buy them the biggest whatever or whatever. It's like, I like the box, I like the bubble wrap, I like the paper, I like the manual.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Where did we go that like they got him this really cool car? And I remember I think it was your cousin's house. And then there was like a lid for like a Tupperware. And he like completely ignored the car, and then he was playing with the lid. Oh, I don't remember. I don't remember if it was your cousin's or your mom's.

SPEAKER_01 20:59

That's what kills me when I see like two, three year olds like doing a photo boot, and we're at like a five-year-old's birthday party, and it's just like thousands of dollars worth of presents. I'm like, yo, like cool. How about $300 worth of presents? Rest of the money goes into an account.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Like, come on, like my account. My account. Yeah, actually, I like that idea better. My account, but for real. Like, there's no reason to I don't I don't. I I bought, like, I'll tell you, I bought my niece this collectible dollhouse thing that was it was so expensive. And she played with the box. Like, I was there for a week and she never, I was like, hey, you want to do tea time? You know, I was trying to, she's like, Let's get in the box. And like there was this foam, like the little pink foam. Yeah, and she was just throwing it in the air like it was raining. And all I I was like, she's like, Uncle, put it back in the box. And I was had to sweep everything up, put it in the box, and she'll do it again.

SPEAKER_00 21:55

What I've also, I guess, learned to do with Amy. It's like if we go out and we go to a store, I see or I pay attention to like what things he actually likes. Instead of like buying him random stuff, you know, he gravitates toward cards, cars. But like we went to a little like mom gathering and they had a uh kitchen and he fucking loves that kitchen.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

How do you know he likes it though?

SPEAKER_00 22:19

Because he was like, because he usually like his like more.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

Why I ask is like curiosity, like if they're just like, oh, it's something new, let me touch it, and then like go into something else.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

If he spends more than like 10 minutes on something, I know he likes it.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 22:33

So I feel like for that, like we spend two hours at this like play place, and then he was playing with the like little kitchen for like 30-40 minutes. So it was most of the time we were playing there. And they had all other things, they had slides, they had a sand pit, they had cars, they had a sensory room, like a neon room. Like they had so many things, and he was just like bouncing from one place to another. But as soon as we got to the kitchen, he was like there for a while. We're done.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

Yeah, this is it.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

I'm not gonna lie, I hate it, I think.

SPEAKER_01 23:05

Because it made like a lot of noise or something.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

Well, like building it. Like, I think it came in two shipments. So the first shipment was like the the small pieces, uh like the play food, the plates, the utensils. And I the moment I saw it, I was like, this is gonna be a mess. And like, yeah, and we so we opened it for him, and sure enough, every time he saw it, he just dumped it on the floor in the family room. It'll be like 9:30. I'm like, hey, let's we're about to get ready for bed. And he'll grab his little basket. It was like a mixture basket that we just put all this stuff in and he'll just dump it on the floor. And like, I think that was the first like up to that point, we were like, every time he played with stuff, we'll clean it up for him and like go to bed or whatever. That point, I was like, You're learning, buddy.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

You're a cowboy.

SPEAKER_02 23:48

Oh no, oh well, see, like I wasn't even like, we'll teach him how to clean up. I was just like, the house is always just gonna be clean. It's a mess, yeah. It's alright. Like, I remember there, like there would be times where like I would go to work and I'll try to clean up, like just do my little bit so like Anna doesn't have to worry about it, and I just gave up while I can't. It's always just gonna be a messy year.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

I always like you know when you go visit people that have kids and they're like, Oh, I'm so like they're so apologetic about like how to house and condition. I'm like, dude, you got kids. Yeah, like I'm like single, like whatever, and uh my house looks worse than what are you talking about? Like, you're good.

SPEAKER_00 24:23

You're like what couch, unexistent.

SPEAKER_02 24:26

I'm just setting the expectation. Like it beats being like my house is clean, then you come by, you see it's dirty. I'm like, ah, yeah, you're a liar. Now then bless you, man. You tried to build that that kitchen.

SPEAKER_00 24:39

Try to build the kitchen, okay?

SPEAKER_02 24:41

But it was like I tried building Legos of there, and I knew this wasn't gonna go according to plan.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

Imagine okay, imagine the shelves, but they're like crooked.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

Oh man.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

I was so late, I was like, it's fine. And then I'm gonna build this into it was gonna take a couple of times, but to me, it wasn't because it was crooked, but I was like, it's fine, I'll leave it like that. Like, who else is gonna play with this? Just him, you know.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

I saw it and I was I could not understand what was going on. I was like, I didn't even know. Yeah, so what happened was I come home like usually I get home like 7, 8, 8 p.m. 7 p.m. if I'm if I'm lucky.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

His shelter not matching.

SPEAKER_02 25:19

Yeah, no, no, like so like I knew the the package that came in yesterday, and so I remember I'm at work and I'm just thinking, like, okay, as soon as I get home, like I'll I'll start the project. And and I was also trying to think, like, what are we gonna do for dinner? Also, parents don't feel bad if you if you use Uber

The Play Kitchen Project And Parent Guilt

SPEAKER_02 25:36

Eats. It's it's such a hack. If you could afford it, it is expensive. I think I I feel like I could definitely buy a couple more cars if I didn't use Uber Eats so much, but it's just it's such a stress-free help.

SPEAKER_01 25:48

You said cards or cars? Both.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

Oh, okay. Okay. Honestly, I wouldn't have to give up one hobby for the other. Oh. Yeah, so I got home that day and I was just thinking, I gotta get started on on the project, so they kind of find Oh, I remember I felt bad too, because the next day I got invited to go to Apodges game with a bunch of coworkers, and I don't know, I'm I always had the kind of guilt where it's like I'm I'm I get to go out and have fun and she'll be ho stuck home with the kids. Especially days like that where she's gonna be home with the baby, taking care of them all day. So I was like, let me let me try to build the the kitchen so at least I'll kind of keep them entertained and she could kind of get some not real rest, but like downtime. Yeah, yeah, like where she she's not like she doesn't have to be 100% focused on it. Like she could have summer time. Where she could watch whatever video while he's playing with the kitchen. So I go home, place the order for dinner, and you know, when I get home, I try to watch him as long as I can. She goes upstairs, so I'm like, oh, maybe she's taking a shower or something. She was upstairs for a while. Food gets delivered, I'm like, oh, I'm hungry. And I'm like, yeah, let me let me go check on her. And I see she's trying to build it, and I'm like, yo, she she's in her zone, I'm gonna I'm gonna let her be. Like she'll she'll eat when she's ready. I remember she came downstairs and she was already in a mood, and I was like, Oh, I was like, things were not going according to plan. And she's like, You didn't you didn't tell me that food is here? You didn't think I was alright? And I'm like, that already told me that told told me how the project was going. That set the mood. Yeah, and I was like, Oh, you you looked like you were in a zone. I didn't I don't want to bother you. She's like, she's like, none of this stuff makes sense. It's like building something from Ikea.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

And I was like, it's like it it it literally was like building an entire kitchen, like your your kitchen, but in a small size. And it's like no instruction. I I swear to god, I read every single page like three or four times, and it doesn't have words, and it just it's just pictures. So I guess I didn't read, I just look at it and it's like supposed to be common sense, but Lego.

SPEAKER_02 27:59

Yeah, it reminds me of Lego. So, like, alright, we I didn't grow up with Legos. So needless say, after we had dinner, we forgot about that project. We just watched our movie. He went to bed late, like I think we got him in bed like 11, and like usually like you like I think around that time I was like trying to be like where he would drink his milk, and as soon as he falls asleep, I'll grab his bottle and take it downstairs so I can wash it. So he has a clean bottle ready from like when he does wake up and he needs more milk. But I already knew I was like, alright, so I'm gonna go down, I'll like I'm gonna do that, but I'm gonna take a look at this project to see what's going on. I remember I opened uh Damien's door and it's just some slabs put together, and I'm like, and like the shelves like honestly, it was kind of amazing how did you take a picture before you should have taken it?

SPEAKER_00 28:49

You know what it looked like? It looked like I feel like homeless people build better houses.

SPEAKER_02 28:53

Oh man, they have like the cardboard on the top. Oh my god reminds me of like a cartoon I watched. It was like where like it's nothing is a straight line. It's like what is it? It looks like someone like you know someone on drugs made this movie. I was like, I felt like someone on drugs tried to make this kitchen.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

LSD inspired kitchen, someone on drugs or someone with very high hormones right now.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

So I was I was amazed how she got like how she got two shelves to be at two different angles, and like the sides were like were standing. Oh, like it's standing straight and the shelves were off. And I was like, but it was like the angles were slightly off, where it's like you kind of and it's like late at night, so you're kind of like Is it me? Am I sleeping? I would squint the eyes a little bit. I'm like, and you know, like I feel like I gotta squint a little extra art because typical Asian.

SPEAKER_01 29:44

So you're looking at art, that's what you're telling me.

SPEAKER_02 29:46

So if you lose, yeah, that was Picasso. I remember before I even went downstairs, I sat down and looked at it, and I'm like, maybe maybe I could read the instruction manual and figure out where she was going. And I looked at it, and I just I'm sorry, I don't have no idea. I was like, we're just gonna undo it. And so I was like, all right, let's let's let's gather my thoughts because now I'm like because I keep in mind, I was thinking, I'm gonna go home, I'll build this kitchen for forever. Now I'm like, and I know she was trying to build it, and like, and now I'm like, oh, I got more working screw everything. But I'm like, all right, let's go downstairs, let's reset it.

SPEAKER_00 30:30

And there was one, the one that like the the board that was like really, really crooked. I feel like I might have like fucked it up. No, you know how you like separate now. What is that like when when it's stripped? No, you didn't, you didn't. Oh, okay. I was like, this was stripped.

SPEAKER_02 30:46

I went downstairs, washed his bottle, brought a new clean bottle. But then I was like, all right, what am I gonna need? I remember going through my tools, I'm like, and well, by the way, Professor, she did all that with just a screwdriver.

SPEAKER_00 30:59

Yeah, that's the other thing. No priority on the back. A manual screwdriver, no machine.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

I remember this. I remember I went back upstairs and uh I was like, okay, like they're both asleep. I don't want to wake them up. So I'm like, if she could get this far with just the screwdriver, I can do the same thing. But I remember I was trying to unscrew everything from the screwdriver and was like, absolutely not. If they wake up, they wake up. So I went downstairs, got the drill. Yeah, power tools. So I remember I unscrewed a couple bolts and I would listen. I'm like, okay, they're still sleeping. I'm we're safe. And then I finally got all the pieces taken apart. And everyone knows whoever's built Legos, can you hear me? Like, I know that voice. Everyone knows that when you build Legos, first step you do after you open a bag is you organize it by color. There were there's wood everywhere. I don't I don't know what the I thought I I thought I did.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

I was just fine, like everyone has their own way of organizing.

SPEAKER_02 31:57

It's like an Excel sheet, like so everyone could create their own Excel sheet, but you give that Excel sheet to someone else, it won't always make sense. So I I couldn't make sense of it. So I was like, I'm just gonna put everything into it.

SPEAKER_01 32:08

I love that you just say this Excel sheet thing like it's normal and everyone gets it. Richie, what is not life is not like an Excel sheet. Well people are gonna be listening to this like who's this guy?

SPEAKER_00 32:21

He has second periods finish.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

Richie, what do you do for a living, by the way?

SPEAKER_02 32:25

I just tell people accounting because it's the easiest explanation.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Alright, so that'll help you guys understand that XL sheet.

SPEAKER_02 32:31

Cost control would be more closely to it, but no one really does like cost control.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

Back to the store.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

But yeah, so I like organize everything, everything has like a number on it, so I just organize it in number order.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

And then he's a type A, if you know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 32:45

Well, what is that one?

SPEAKER_01 32:46

Is that the I don't even know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 32:48

I just felt like it was right to say type A D D uh uh so yeah, start the instruction, but this is probably now we're approaching midnight. This is probably past midnight now. I just remember at some point, uh I remember I was thinking, I I gotta wake up early tomorrow to to get to work because we're I need to get my nine hours in before we all leave for the game. Uh because I could yeah, you had a game. Yeah. So I was like, alright, well, I was like I really need to knock this out, so so at least he has something to play with while while I'm since I won't be home all day tomorrow. And so I I love Legos, so I just should like Legos. You can start putting everything together.

SPEAKER_01 33:28

How long did it take you?

SPEAKER_02 33:29

I think I was done by 3 a.m.

SPEAKER_01 33:31

So like two two-ish hours?

SPEAKER_02 33:33

Oh no. This is like probably three and a half. Oh damn, okay. But like there was like gaps in between. Like like around 2 30. I remember I was at the last piece, and it's so stupid. Like everything went smoothly. Like like I wouldn't expect like just any regular person to like be able to build this and not get mad. Like I'll I was kind of able to build just because like you know, this is stuff where you like just building Legos, you're you're just always kind of OCD about six certain things like like did I put this in the right way? Is the model in this in the same correct or in the same what's it what's called? Is it standing the same way as it's shown in the in the book?

SPEAKER_01 34:11

In the model, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:12

So so that's kind of where I forgot how the shelf got slanted. The whole thing that she was lining up were not supposed to line up to each other. But wasn't it around 230? I was at the last piece, and it was weird. It's like the last piece is like the side of the kitchen, where like and and one of the shelves is just there's no screws holding it, it's just pegs and a and a hole that it's slides into. And you're supposed to get the last side pushed in, and then it locks everything in place. But like you're balancing everything to get the last piece, then you screw everything in. So I was trying to come up with how can I hold the shelf up since it's it's like held by like a really shallow peg. So I got this diapers and I was trying to build like a table so like it could hold the thing up and like push everything. But every time I I like try to push all the holes in that that shelf and everything that was in that shelf, which I was also I also had like the screwdriver that was holding it, would just fall down on the on the wood floors and just make the loudest noise, and I would pause for two seconds and be like, fuck, are they up?

SPEAKER_01 35:16

Are they gonna say something?

SPEAKER_00 35:17

I think if like I was so stressed with that that I slipped the right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

You were spent and you're like, I'm done.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

This happened twice. Or like like all the stuff fell down like twice, and then and I didn't and they never woke up, so I'm like, oh, I could do this as many times as I third time I hear Damon cry, I'm like, oh fuck. And so I I you know, I'm like, alright, we'll we'll finish this later. So I get to the room and I'm like, hey. And she's like, the fuck are you doing? And I'm like, do you want to see the kitchen? I didn't hear that. I think I'm talking about it. And she's like, it's 3 a.m. I'm like, you could see it tomorrow morning. And and she's like, go to bed. I'm like, I'm almost done. Like, I like guys, it's if you're if you're on the last page of a of a Lego build, shit, you're not gonna finish.

SPEAKER_03 36:07

You gotta finish.

SPEAKER_02 36:09

It's it's 3 a.m. I was like, if it takes me till 5 a.m. to build that last page, I'm gonna do it because it's the last page.

SPEAKER_00 36:15

Good job, Richard.

SPEAKER_02 36:16

I ain't no quitter. Yeah, we finished it.

SPEAKER_00 36:21

Right.

SPEAKER_02 36:22

Yeah, and I undid it. I remember going to work. Michael Work is just like, you're you're you're on two, I was just crazy. And I'm like, I don't know, that was weird. Like, I knew I should be tired today. I I did not feel tired. I I think like the enjoylin of everything just kind of kept me kept me going through the day. And then like when we got to the game, the alcohol helped, which I don't usually drink, as you guys know, but but that kept me going through the day.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

But it'd be an energy drink, it's the best. It can be coffee too.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

Oh, I was I thought you were saying you use an energy drink. I was like, I can't anymore. I love energy drinks, middle age. I love them. But uh yeah, but and then I got home probably like 11 at night. Oh man, and like they were already asleep, so but I was just excited because well, one, I was drawn. I was tipsy, sorry, I was tipsy. I made it home, but uh don't trick a job. And and I got them like souvenirs from from the game. So I was like excited to share it with them, but they felt they fell asleep, so I was like, oh, we'll just go to bed. Anna was awake. We we had we had like a like just catch caught up on a day. She didn't know. Did he so it was worth it?

SPEAKER_00 37:29

He he plays with it every morning, like if when we wake up, we go straight to his place.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Might be a little cook. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:37

Oh, I hope so.

SPEAKER_00 37:38

Yeah, like yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:39

Well, we'll see. I'm a lazy cook now.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

Cooking is like the new thing. Well, it's always been the thing, but like it's like the thing thing. Like all the the shows and all that, I love it. I love it, but hey, getting late, let's wrap this

Advice, Role Models, And Growing Up

SPEAKER_01 37:52

up. This was super, super fun. One last question, just for new parents. Like it's a Daily Dose self-help podcast. What would you since you've been through like the grinder, right? Of 18 months of parenting as new being new parents, first baby. What's one thing you can tell, like just talk to yourself for a second. What would you tell them?

SPEAKER_02 38:12

It's all worth it.

SPEAKER_01 38:13

Yeah?

SPEAKER_02 38:14

It's all worth it.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

What about you? What would you tell yourself?

SPEAKER_00 38:18

I feel like you know, as a new parent, you think like they've got to sleep. Oh, I'm buying all these gadgets, but you need them. But no, every baby. I love my son. But he cries a lot. Crier. And sometimes I'm like, I'm your deep daddy. Fair enough, fair enough.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

Yeah, I I can s I can see that. Like I've seen the parents definitely panic when the kids is crying. I'm like, oh dude, it's a kid. Oh, definitely. We were like that.

SPEAKER_02 38:47

We we still get like that sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 38:49

Yeah, but it's like a kid, like supposed to cry, right?

unknown 38:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:52

I also feel like like certain parents that I've met, they're like, oh shit organic is organica. I'm like, you know what? Sometimes we can't involve organic.

SPEAKER_03 39:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:07

A little, what is that?

SPEAKER_01 39:10

For no, for sure. Super strict. Yeah, that food diet thing, that's a whole different topic. What about you being a a Thea for a year? 18 months. What would you tell yourself?

SPEAKER_00 39:24

Hold him. Hold him enough. I was scared to I was like, that drop it was gonna break it. I think if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have held him over. I'm like, nope.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

Gotta hold him.

SPEAKER_00 39:36

We're gonna cherish this moment forever. I'm like, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

Yep. Yep, it definitely feels different. I remember the first time I I held Jana, I was like, Whoa, this is wild. And now it's just what's gonna really because I'm ahead of the game on you on this one. Because my niece and nephew are Yana's 13, no, no, she's about to turn 16 or something like that.

SPEAKER_03 39:58

I didn't think so.

SPEAKER_01 39:59

And then Zay is graduating high school.

SPEAKER_03 40:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:04

So it's at the point where I'm like, it's weird growing up, where I I was I think I said this to you earlier this week. I'm like, these damn kids are forcing me to grow up. Because I kind of want to just, you know, you just want to be irresponsible. You want to sleep in all day. But then I notice this come this is approaching in my life. Like my niece or nephew's gonna be like, hey, uncle, what's up? Like, can I come see you? I don't know. And you that that makes me be like, oh god, you know, I got this little person that wants to hang out with me. I can't, you know, we can't go to the bars, we can't, you know, live the San Diego life that we're living. Well, we can, but you I'm getting real nervous about it. I'm getting real nervous. And then when he's sucking. When he understands everything and all that, just it it definitely makes you makes you make choices. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 40:51

Yeah, I feel like when they're young, like you want to be a role model to show them what works right from wrong, like or their values, I guess. But then when they get older, it's like now they they're looking for like a like a role model, like a real role model, like someone that they want to be or grow up to be. So I feel like you're in that spot where like you can't mess up. Yeah. And when you when they're younger, don't forget.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

Like, you know, I I don't think my niece or nephews are ever gonna see me drink. Yeah, I really think so. I would I would rather them look, it's fun. I enjoy having a beer with everyone here. I enjoy having beer with the family, drinks, love it. Like it's so fun. Like date night, it's it's great. I just really wish I don't want I don't I don't want my nieces or nephews to drink at all. Like I I I want them to do anything and have fun and whatever. I'm like, you can go out, you can part, do not. It's just the the situations that it brings in a teenage and adult life when they're unsupervised is just too risky. Like it's just it's too risky. And there's some there's some decisions and stories that I have that I wish I didn't have, but they I have them, and it's solely because I was drunk. That's it. That's it. So yeah, that's that's my thing. Where I I definitely gotta I gotta figure that out soon because yeah, they they know they're here, they're not going anywhere for the rest of my fucking life. But awesome. Hey, thank you guys for listening to the your daily dose. That was the intro to Anna and Richie. Hey Liz, can you tell them goodbye? Like, subscribe, do the thing.

SPEAKER_00 42:30

Like, subscribe, share, tell your friends.

SPEAKER_01 42:33

That you have a friend in San Diego, California that has a podcast and listen.

SPEAKER_00 42:38

And does yoga.

SPEAKER_01 42:39

And does Yeah, we didn't even talk about a little bit of yoga, but it's all fine. We'll talk about it another time. Peace.