5. ADHD Meds, Birkin Bags and the Podcast that almost never was

You may notice this week’s episode sounds slightly different.

That is because shortly after recording, we discovered the entire thing had been blanketed by what I can only describe as deafening white noise. What followed was 48 hours of panic, several existential crises, and me accidentally retraining as a sound engineer.

So if you hear the occasional tinny moment or a slightly mysterious bit of audio texture, please know this episode has been manually dragged back from the dead.

Inside this week: impossible London journeys, Lime bike politics, sobriety updates, ADHD revelations, wedding dress shopping, Kylie Jenner’s Birkin obsession, Olivia Rodrigo discourse, Cannes chaos, Eurovision humiliation and our usual completely unnecessary opinions in between.

Thank you for bearing with us.

Leave a message after the tone.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hello, loyal listeners. Welcome. This is a safe space. Welcome back to the No Country for Hot Girls podcast with me, Juliana, and my best friend Hannah. I'm just recording this little disclaimer before we launch into the main pod to tell you with my sincerest apologies that we've had some quite severe technical issues yet again this week. So please forgive us. Unfortunately, when we recorded it, there was what I can only describe as a deafening white noise that basically blanketed the entire recording. So I've basically had to teach myself how to how to become a sound technician, essentially, um, in 48 hours. So yeah, you're about to hear the fruits of my labours, and you can tell me whether or not I am hireable. Um I suspect there are some areas that are a little bit tinny. So sorry about in advance. And please, please, please bear with. Forgive us. I promise you, next week I will actually do a sound check, which would have been quite a good idea this week. But this week we've got loads in store for you. We've got the usual pop culture, gossip, we've got everything from the Kardashians to uh Eurovision to Cannes Film Festival, and of course the usual rambling anecdotes in between. Tune in and yeah, apologies again. Love you. Hello, you've reached the No Country for Hot Girls podcast. Please leave a message after the tone.

SPEAKER_04 1:51

The only annoying thing is that you live the opposite end of London to me. So that's just like a little snag. Yeah. You need to be down the road. I know. It's just if you were down the road, we could record every day. Yeah, I'm sure everyone would love that. Um but don't you think sorry? I feel like it's the only city in the world that is just so big. Like New York's not this big. It is really big here. Rome, Paris. Like they're all small and like cute and you can wander about. Whereas like London, it's like you're you're moving between cities, like you're going to Islington, it's its own city. Yeah, and also it's like when you say, like when it takes you 30 minutes to get somewhere, you're like, oh my god, so quick. You're like, they're my neighbours. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

Exactly. And also they are also they actually are your neighbours, like they're really near to you.

SPEAKER_04 2:47

And you know, when you like go on holiday and you're like, oh, I'm just gonna pop out for some chat as and it's like a 15-minute walk. You're like, oh my god, no, I know of energy I've concerned. But it seriously is, I'm used to going spending an hour going somewhere. You know, when like the trains will line up and the journey could take you an hour, but it takes you like 45 minutes, and you're like, nothing better, I had smashed this. That's the top five best feelings in life when you get back to back to back and you cap it by connection. Because that's the other thing about London is that that you have to get a million connections, million connections, you have to get like a bus and a tube and a train and a line bike, basically. That's basically what I did to get here. Yeah, um, I did actually get a lime from Highbury and Isington and um not to give Jules's location. Shh mean for one story, you wouldn't be able to find her dress, it's the hardest thing to find. It doesn't exist on Google Maps.

SPEAKER_03 3:42

I know, like behind.

SPEAKER_04 3:44

I was like to Jules, like what they don't even have a doorbell. And I was like, How do you get like deliveries? And she was like, We don't. We don't, we don't. Um, but yeah, I got a line bike from hybrid here and it was like a slow zone everywhere, and it was so hard to it's like it's so annoying. Like we have to properly pedal really hard. You are a bit of a boy racer though, famously. Yeah, well then it like then it went into the unslow bit and it like zoomed forward, and I was like, Oh my god, I'm on like a motorbike.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

Well, I told you when I went when there were my parents living in Chiswick, the fucking busy bodies battle axes, the Chizak resident basically complained because they were like, they're so ugly, they're everywhere.

SPEAKER_04 4:24

Yeah, and then you got your forest. They got them banned. So then if you um cycled to Chiswick on a line bike, it would just cut out the moment that you got to Chiswick. Yeah, and it does that um to Crystal Palace, and I'm Gypsy Hill and it like just cuts off there. Oh no, it's not acceptable. No, it's really annoying, it's so stupid. Like, come on, guys, like get the boroughs to communicate, like let's get a bit of consistency, guys. And also, like, you just can't get any other bike other than a line. Like the forest bikes are so sharp. I really gave them a good go. Like, I really gave them. I know, I did as well. And then they were doing this like 10 minutes free thing, but you had to watch a minute-long video for every minute. Yeah, I was like frankly, quite dangerous. Also, like I'm trying to get on an electric bike to get somewhere quickly, like I don't have 10 minutes to stand with. I'm completely pissed as a rat. Like it's midnight on a Tuesday, and I've had seven times. Well, there was this thing that came up on TikTok last night, and it was like seven like funny questions to ask your partner. So I was like asking Ollie of them. Yeah, it was stuff like if you'd asked me in a grocery store, like what aisle would you find me in? And stuff like that. Anyway, and one of them was if I called you from jail, what would your first thought be of why I was in there? Yeah. And he said drunk line biking.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

And I was like, oh no, that's really bad. I actually don't do that anymore since I fell off and dented a car.

SPEAKER_04 5:43

That is so bad. I mean, shouldn't have said that. I'm not saying where it was. We're we're talking in a public platform. What um what would be my jalable offense, do you think? Um like something you did by accident. So something you did by accident and like but it was quite catastrophic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

Like something like really bad happened because of it, but it was like totally an accident, like, or you like accidentally stole loads of stuff or something, but you didn't realise something like that.

SPEAKER_04 6:15

That wasn't fruit. Yeah. Um, and if I lost you in the supermarket, you'd be in the like nuts aisle for dry good style. Of course. Okay, let me guess where you'd be. I reckon you might be in the in the mint sile. No, or you said in the in the tins and the beans.

SPEAKER_03 6:33

Yeah, it'd be with beans, obviously. That was a joke.

SPEAKER_04 6:36

That was I know, I'm joking. Um, okay, well, we've got loads to cover, guys. But also, have you done anything fun to you? Oh, right. Um I saw you on Friday, and I saw you on Friday. I mean, so guys, as of course all of you know, because we're such loyal subscribers, um, I am a teethler these days. No, but in all senses, I've managed about three weeks now of sobriety, so like basically my my stories are all quite boring. Um, but yeah. How do you feel though? No, no better. Um no, but it's nice like waking up with the clear head. Yeah, it is. You've definitely been more productive. Yeah, but I think that's my ADHD pills. But maybe it's a mix of both, and like yeah, not you know, like yeah, like you said as well, like you weren't enjoying the effects of alcohol on the ADHD ADHD meds anyway. Well yeah. So it's all probably like uh linked and you have a lot of time with psychotic rates, so got a little bit of concern of getting these like heads at where I would just like forget where I was and what I was doing. Oh my god. I know how scary is happening. No one told me, like, none of my doctors told me that, like, you know, if you're taking these pills, like it can drive you insane if you mix it without it.

SPEAKER_02 7:54

Obviously, they don't tell you anything or do anything.

SPEAKER_01 7:57

That's what you mean. I think that back. Um, but yeah, no, so nothing that interesting. But one thing I will say about the APH teeth bill, I think I said this to you.

SPEAKER_04 8:06

I, if this is what a normal brain feels like, then I've been operating 5% capacity my whole life. Like, did you? I swear on my life. I've been struggling at 5% capacity. That is so horrible. Isn't it crazy? I'm like that film with Bradley Cooper, Limitless. Oh, I would love that film. I mean, I'm on it. You're on it. It's crazy. That is really great though. I'm glad something's working. I know, but I do feel like it's um not a sustainable situation. No, and like, yeah, you know, you still need to it's trial and error, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 8:41

I also read about this girl, she actually I'll link it in the show notes, but she was really interesting, talking about like ADHD medication, and she was saying that she took through the speed in Berlin and felt the same as she does on uh ADHD meds.

SPEAKER_04 8:53

And then she got home and she ran out of meds, but she still had a bit of speed and she had a deadline. So instead of the ADHD med, she took the speed, and I was like, wow, this is a slippery slope.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

No, it's like kind of you can't go sober and then just get like a speed addiction. Let's not go there. That's why I'll find you in jail.

SPEAKER_04 9:16

Um just dealing with speed under the guise of ADM. Um, but you had a much more um crazy weekend than me. Well, no, I just went out on Saturday to my friend was wearing dress shopping, which is really cute. And then we went like for dinner and drinks, and I had a salami martini, which sounds kind of disgusting, but it was the most delicious thing ever. So they like washed the vodka, it's like a dirty martini, so it's got like olive brine in it as well. But they washed the vodka in with salami or something, so it's like kind of got like a fattiness to it, it was really good. I had two, but I weirdly didn't have that much of a hangover yesterday, and I was quite shocked because I had about like 17 drinks, and also every single drink I drank was a different drink, yeah, which is very unlike, which is very unlike me, but kind of the nature of those days because it's like yeah, like Prosecco in the wedding dress shop, and then we went for a cocktail, and then we went for dinner and had wine, and then we did another cocktail, and I honestly I was like, I can't believe I've had a different drink every time, anyway. And then we were out in like sort of Dawstony area, and it got to 1am, and I had got Campari spritz because I couldn't face like another cocktail, and I was like, I actually can't drink another tip of this, but it was quite funny because we were we went downstairs and it had like a note on like a scrap bit of paper saying private party, but we went in anyway, obviously, and um it was like someone's like birthday, and they were all in fancy dress, but we couldn't work out what like the theme was. Yeah, it's probably really obvious looking back, it was just like the 15 drinks we had. Um, but it was like and someone was like DJing, but it was giving very like Leeds energy, like your friends DJing at your party. Right, right, right, right. So I don't know like what age they were or anything, right? But it was quite funny because we were just like there. Zach in Jaguar skills. Jaguar shoes, yeah. Jaguar skills skills. Jaguar skills. Um yeah, so sorry. Um yeah, it was in there, but it's quite funny anyway. And then you know when you have a moment when you look around and you're like, I must leave. Um is everyone kind of 21. Uh yeah, maybe like to 25. I don't know. Do you sorry, really quick side note? Don't you think that like I saw this meme today and it was like we all feel 25 until you speak because I'm only 25 and then you immediately feel 45? Yeah. Because like I find that now when I look at 20-year-olds or like people in their 20s, I'm like, you guys look like little babies. Um, so anyway, so that's my news. Um, okay, so well, well, let's dig into it. The first thing that I saw this week that I gasped at um and saved to my podcast topics bookmarks, um, was there was this article that was saying that Olivia Rodrigo, we also sound like we only talk about Scamander and Olivia Rodrigo, but wait, we need to get the Scamander. Oh, yeah, sorry, this commander segment. Can we do a tiny little shout out to Nikhil? Um, because he's been asking me frantically what this Scamander business is. Listen to the first app.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Yeah, to which I refer him back to the first episode, and then he will know. Um, but thank you so much for referring us to so many new um new faces. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 12:37

Um, but yeah, so Scamander, aka the Summer House Drama. Yeah, so well, the main drama update is that the is the preview of the finale episode where Sierra and West are literally getting off. Yeah, so the finale episode comes out on Wednesday, bearing in mind the drama is the fact that Wes is now getting with this girl Amanda, who's also on the show, who is also Sierra's best friend. But the finale, which was obviously filmed kind of last September, pre-scandal, shows Sierra and Wes finally rekindling their romance, it seems, and snogging. But don't you think what's really sad is that in the last few episodes you can so tell how much he likes him? I know. And he doesn't give a thud. Because like we've all been there when we're the one who's like, oh la la la la la, like they like me so much, I really like them, and then we don't see it like their perspective. When what's her name asked? Yeah, you're like thinking Do you really like her or whatever? And he's kind of like he's always avoiding the question. Do you think that's because he just doesn't, or because he doesn't want to say something that he's gonna like get done for? Both. I think I think he cares so much about his image. I think he cares about his image, and I also don't think that he is as invested in it as yeah. He was like, I thought it was intense when she said I was her best friend. So Sierra said in the last episode that West was her best friend in the house. Yeah. Um, and they've made up and stuff, and then afterwards, West was like, Yeah, I thought it was a bit intense that she said that. Just I would be so embarrassed. It's just mean. Yeah. Um, and then I guess the second part is that no one's seen Amanda and West together for a while. Apparently, it's still going strong though. Yeah, okay. But yeah, I mean it's obviously not gonna last, but no, obviously not. We'll see how it plays out. Anyway, so Nikki'll take notes. Oh, yeah, session isn't over. We need to have some kind of like jingle for this. Yeah, what are we gonna do when no one cares anymore? We'll we'll always care. Five years down the line, we'll be like um Yeah, so back to Livia Rodrigo. So obviously, she's like just dropped this new album or dropping a new album. She dropped her first single, dropped in, and I think she's dropped another one, or she performed it on SNL or like some kind of American talk show or something. Yeah, and she's going for this look that's like a baby doll dress and then like chunky boots, and she's kind of a bit like that, anyways, and she's she's like punk, girly, like that kind of vibe, like mixes very like girly with like kind of a bit more like edge, I guess. Um, but there was this article where people like were basically, you know how everyone's just coming after every celebrity nowadays, but people were saying that she was like infantilizing herself and playing into I can't remember the exact wording of it, but it was something like it had the word paedophile in it, it was something like paedophilia something. And I was like, this is so crazy because first of all, she can do whatever the fuck she wants. She's a grown woman, she's a grown woman, she's not infantilizing herself, she can wear whatever she wants, and also the only like people are getting annoyed for something that is a male issue, like nothing to do with like her, she's only dressing for herself just because it's viewed through a male gaze doesn't make it like like she's play like playing into it herself. I thought that was really fucked up and weird. Um and also at the end of the day, she's got a stylist, it's not like she's like, Oh, I really want to do this.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

They've discussed like a sign image for this album. So, like, obviously, Gary, hello, um, our dear, dear friend and major patron to the show, Gary David Moore.

SPEAKER_04 16:15

Or he's actually just opened a company, GDMLTD, as he's sometimes known nowadays. A lovely ring to it. Yeah, he does the styling for uh Wolf Alice, and like Wolf Alice came to him with that look that they wanted for the album. So they were like, we really want it to be 70s. Yeah. So like she would have come up with an idea with Petra Collins for that first video and a stylist, and they would have decided they wanted to be like 60s, baby doll, yeah, girly, but also sexy. Yeah, and exactly as you say, like it's obviously this kind of bizarre, over sexualised, repressed, yeah, right-wing lens that's trying to repress women. But actually, the only reason why these men are having these thoughts when they're looking at her in a short dress is because they've repressed so much of their own sexuality that now everything for them is sexual. Yeah, but it's just like why people going for her when it's nothing to do with her, like it's not her fault if people like and fantasy her. I don't understand. Also, she's wearing a baby doll dress, like that's what they were in the 60s. It's also like, yeah, not anything groundbreaking, like Jane Burkin did it all the time. Yeah. But I also saw another comment from. Sorry, sorry, just sorry too. Sorry about that at all. I just had a really strong thought. All the fucking men are wearing tiny, tiny shorts. Why are they allowed to wear them? I'm not going up to Paul Mescal and being like, I can see your dick in your shorts. By the way, I can in all the pictures. Do you know what I mean? The patriarchy jaws. Um, no, but the I saw another comment from someone that was quite interesting that was like, I wear baby jaw dresses all the time, but I'm like a plus size woman, and I don't think that anyone infantilizes me because of that. And it's only because she's like a small petite petite young. Yeah, exactly. And I was like, I think that's also true. I just think that like it's nothing to do with her, and I don't know why she's getting her listening to it. No, exactly. Yeah. Um, okay. Double standards. Yeah, that is major double standards. Um, yeah, someone who also has had quite a lot of controversy, Alina Dunham. We saw the pick from her birthday, didn't we? Yeah, my first thought was like I saw this pick and it was like it was like I think the caption is from like the cut or something, and it was like dream dinner rotation, and I was like, oh my god, and I sent it to Jules being like, oh my god, and then I looked at it because I just saw Elijah, who's like uh in girls and his what's his name? Andrew Rann. Andrew Rannels, I think. Um Elijah. Elijah. Um, and I was like, oh my god, amazing Elijah. And then I looked around the table and I was like, I actually would hate to be here with like Taylor Swift, Emily Ratchin Ratajan now.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

Ratikowski, and then her boyfriend, that guy's Romaine Gabriel.

SPEAKER_04 18:56

Yeah, and I was like, actually like doesn't look fun at all.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

No one no one looked fun in that on that table, apart from Elijah and Lena.

SPEAKER_04 19:02

Yeah, but I mean she's got some famous friends, that's for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, yeah. So speaking of famous friends, um she's not my friend, but Kylie Jenner has been doing it. Well, you've come you've come round to her. I have. I love her. Yeah, I I think she is joked. I think she's definitely got the best sense of humour on out of the Kardashians. 100%. Um, she keeps doing really random, well not random podcasts, but she has started doing podcasts, which is quite interesting. Why do we think that is? Kylie particularly is taking this sort of new route where she's marketing about herself as she's like so open, and I think she's doing it to become a really like relatable version of herself. So like she keeps um like people asking her like about her boob job, and then like in the comments on TikTok, she'll be like, you know, whatever the millimeters of boob job called in measurements, uh milliliters. Isn't it like a a chicken billet or like a fillet? I know, but it's cooler, it's like something like C 360cc or something like that. I don't know, but she she like would like message in the comments being like this, this, this, and this, like exhumation, exhibit, extreme. Like making it like this is my plastic surgery, and like it's like fun and cute, yeah, rather than being cool about it. Like Kendall Janna. Yeah, yeah, like Kendall. He claims her nose job is from accutane. Yeah, allegedly. Allegedly. Can I just say if someone who's taken accuane, my nose, which I would have loved to have roughly sizes, is still a double CC or whatever it is. Maybe I need to slather it on my nose. I was like, why would Kendall lie? And she was like, oh.

SPEAKER_03 20:47

She said she's only ever had a tiny bit of baby Botox, but then you know I love those before and after videos by like plastic surgeons, but like she's obviously had her lip done.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

I mean, no shape, she can do whatever she wants, but she's not just had baby photox.

SPEAKER_04 20:59

So she's been in a couple podcasts recently, Kid Coody, who I think is one of Timmy's good friends, because they discuss him a bit. He like asked her like what her favourite films are of his and stuff like that. Oh right, what did she say? Um, I think she said Jane. Oh right. Oh no, she did say cool by your name, actually, as well. Yeah. Um, and then anyway, she went on another one recently, a guy called Jake Shane, podcast called Therapus. Um, and we didn't really know why he was famous, and we just googled some of his viral vids. They were actually quite funny. They are quite funny, yeah. So I think he was like a TikToker that went viral a few years ago, and he's now famous, now friends are loads of famous people. But anyway, it's quite a funny conversation. I mean, it's not like that enlightening, but she just talking about how she is obsessed with Birkenbags and um Bait Tan. So she was like, Sometimes I feel depressed, think I'm depressed, but then I just realised I just need to get a spray cash. And I was just paying all the but yeah, she talks about how her and her mum's love language is giving each other Birkenbags. So I'm like, the relatable things stop. Yeah, yeah. Um and she's like, every birthday and Christmas we just like give each other a Birkin bag. And I was like, but don't you just aren't don't you run out of Birkin bags to get? Like there's not that many, surely. And also like different size. They get a bit boring. Also, I just don't like them. Yeah. Like I don't love them. And I also think that like I don't think they're that nice. I don't know why they're such a thing. But I do think that like when I see someone in the street with a birkin bag, I assume it's fake. It's like 14 grand. I just don't think that they're anything that special. Like I don't really get it. No. But I'm not a huge bag person. No, I'm not a big bag, but I mean I've had that bag for like four years. And I walk up my travel bag is that big idea bag.

SPEAKER_03 22:43

Yes, I know. I do know. Which I literally used this week. Oh my god, that's what I did this week. I went to Warsaw.

SPEAKER_02 22:51

I became a Polish bathroom.

SPEAKER_01 22:54

By the way, um, Warsaw is actually really cool. The first time I went, I so I've been before when I was a kid, but hadn't been for years.

SPEAKER_04 23:02

And you know, I told you when I picked it up, um, when I sorry, not a couple of months ago when I did my application, I was like, yeah, I don't know, but the like the city, like I didn't necessarily like love, love it. Um, like I think there are other more beautiful cities in Poland, like Krakow or whatever. But anyway, this time we went and we didn't stay in centre, we actually stayed like a bit on the sides. There's this area called like Tord Fuschle, which means like on the Dushle Biswa River. Anyway, it's much cooler, it's like it looks like Copenhagen. Oh yeah, and I was like, Okay. I do really want, I mean, I don't know where it's best to go, but I do really want us to do a little bit of a we should definitely escapade. Yeah, I'd love to know. But that's so fun. You are a Polish, what would you call it, like what do you call yourself? A Polish citizen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny because like I've obviously grew up here, like born here, my parents were born here, like my grandparents were here at Cambridge when they were little babies. So like I don't really feel like Polish, but then it's funny when you like hear people talking and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

Like, I don't know, there's just like a weird sense of kind of camaraderie that you didn't realise that you'd have. Yeah, um, but then obviously I try and speak to them for me doing it.

SPEAKER_04 24:13

Come on, guys, I'm trying. I'm trying, yeah, here's the evidence. Um forgot about that. Forgot about that. Huge life change. Um, no, you can go wherever you want now in the EU. That's really fun. I know, and oh god, maybe I'll just marry you. Yeah then. Yeah, Ollie can we can just travel around Europe, yeah. Um also I was gonna say, um forgot to tell you about yesterday there was the hackney heart. Yeah, I know. I knew probably people who well I didn't actually know that anyone who ran, but I knew people who went to the pool. Oh god, I would made a mistake going to London Fields and then I because I because I went to the art shop, I was trying to buy a new canvas. Anyway, I was walking around and I know that you like running, and I know that Ollie, sorry Ollie, is a big runner, and I know that everyone apparently now loves running, but I just think they're the biggest load of twat I've ever seen in my life. The Hackney half in particular. Yeah, the hackney half is a funny one because it is like a bit of like a performative one. It's the most insufferable display I've ever seen. Also, Panny, the root is like not that good. I don't know. Like it's quite hilly. I don't actually know, I could have made that. You weren't following them on strap. No, I'm not unlike you. Uh but yeah, like on a performative rain jacket with their like medals over it, and then like having a sticky in a pint, and I was like, just give it a rest. Yeah, and now I know. Have one day off. I know. Yeah, they um yeah, it's funny.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

Yeah, I just I just think it's it's something that needs to be banned, and I hate banned.

SPEAKER_04 25:49

It banned, yeah, it's banned. I think people like having I think people like doing them though because it's like they like having a goal that they are reaching towards. Yeah, but can't you just do that for yourself? Yes, you can. I mean, Holly did that on that day, he went to Bastille Park and he ran a marathon. Yeah, but that to prove that well he got 30150 seconds. I mean, that's it's it's slightly demented, but obviously insane. Completely insane, but it'sn't for any reason to try and prove himself that because the London marathon, he was it was too hot and he was like, I couldn't do sub three. Yeah, that's the extent of male competitiveness. They can't just leave it at that, they have to fucking prove factually by hook or by crook. But he still didn't because he was capable of it. One minute fifty seconds over. So we go again next week and we go again. Um speaking of exercise, um, yeah. So I've been seeing Hillary Duff, like Hillary Death, Hillary Duff pop up on all my like socios and stuff. And first of all, she looks amazing. She's like definitely had these like subtle tweakments sort of thing that everyone in LA is doing at the moment, but she actually looks pretty good. And um, she's like the face or like ambassador, I don't know what you would call it, of this app called Ladder, which is like a fitness app. When you go in it, you basically choose like what outcome you want. So, like, do you want to be like stronger or do you want to be like more toned, or do you yeah, exactly? Like a you choose kind of like what outcome you want, and then they match you up with trainers who specialise in that, and then they have then you like pick one and pay for it, and then they have like a workout plan for you, um, which I think is like quite a good idea. Um, I've never done it. I did like the free trial, yeah, because I did the free trial and it was with that girl Maya Henry or Mia Henry. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fucking hard. Was it? Yeah, because she says it's only like 20 minutes a day, but the 20 minutes is Jesus Christ. Because although I'm not someone who likes repetition, yeah. So it's like repeating like kind of sets of like quite full of workout. Yeah, yeah. Um, but yeah, my aunt did her after. Interesting. She did say that apparently to get like the best body, she said in it, is that she does two days of eat parties and three days strength training, and then everyday 10k steps. And I was like, that's not a lot. So much exercise. It's yeah, too much. But yeah, so they've got Harry Duff is like this new ambassador or whatever, and I guess she's worked with a trainer to come up with this like fitness plan that you buy into, but the tagline's stronger, not smaller, and it's all about like her wanting to be like stronger rather than like skinnier or anything. And obviously, we're going through a bit of an epidemic with like everyone being obsessed with being really skinny again, and she does actually look really strong, like she looks amazing, like she looks like she's got like abs and her arms are muscly and stuff, but she doesn't look like tiny or anything. And yes, celebrities don't really endorse fitness things that much, usually more like Pilates-style fitness apps, and they're just these like really skinny women who have like no body fat on them at all, and like lift like a three-pound dumbbell, and they're like, Yeah, wait, but um, yeah, like nowadays you just see like influencers go to like the aloe gyms. So I thought that was well. I thought that was quite interesting about this aloe because I've never heard of these aloe studios. Yeah, so I think one's just come to London, but I know they're in New York, they're definitely in LA, and they're like private invite-only gyms. Yeah, and I think they just invite like athletes and like celebrities and high-end influencers. Oh my god. But they look like sick. I saw a video the other day of someone going and they have like a snow room. Yeah, that is insane. And then this girl got in this like infrared light. It kind of looked like with sunbeds, but it was just like an infrared infra. Is it good? Infrared? Infrared, yeah. And wasn't it with some kind of thing? Like oxygen masking. You said she was in it for 30 minutes and she felt like a brand new person when she left. Yeah, like I would give my left, I'm gonna say, I would give my spleen out. Just to a non-vital organ. So I'd or maybe I'd give my append it. But I'd give something to just be able to do that, like on like a weekly basis. I just look in the mirror every day and I'm like, la de hell, you again. Yeah, you can't even like Google these aloe gyms that they always come up with like the online app or the clothing stores, that they never come up with the actual gym. Yeah, I wonder where they are. It must be like do you think they're like unbranded or something? Yeah, probably, probably. I don't know. Um, to be honest, I don't know if I'd even want to be part of that. Imagine going to the gym and everyone in there is either a fucking athlete or a celebrity. I feel so self-conscious. I wouldn't do any of it. Well, that's that's why they've done it because everyone in there looks the same.

SPEAKER_03 30:51

No, but it's in like I would have a full eating disorder, I'd be like trying to do weights and Bahama Hawk or MD. Fucking, I don't know, Ryan Reynolds or something. Me trying to do a big thing.

SPEAKER_04 31:03

I think that's like joking. Like, I'm sure Ryan Reynolds has his own jits, no room.

SPEAKER_03 31:08

Probably in Wrexham or something.

SPEAKER_04 31:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:10

Did you see by the way that they'd settled that?

SPEAKER_04 31:13

Um, the belt case. Yeah, I did. But I just haven't I don't know why, I just wasn't that bothered looking into it. I just find it really depressing, and it's like you guys have all tank jokers. Have you seen that it was at Nimet Gala and someone was doing like one of those videos where it was like a fake voiceover of what they were saying? Oh yeah, and it was like her just being really mean, like like people like doing her train and her being like fucking idiots over that. And I was like, this woman gets so much hate, it's so crazy. I know, and the thing is he seems like a little weird creep. Um, but she maybe it's because she's a woman, it's obviously because she's a woman. 100%, like even if you were not a nice person, which I'm sure she like has is fine, yeah. Um, then like yeah, a woman's always gonna a woman female celebrated 100%, 100%. What else have you been thinking about this week? Well, there's been quite a lot. Actually, I've forgot to say, so speaking of Caleb Swift at Lena's dinner. So did you see that that she's pretty much a dead set for Gastonbury?

SPEAKER_03 32:12

No, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:13

Really? Which I don't know why I'm thinking I to be honest, I think I'd like that. One night. It would be amazing, yeah. And like love fun. Yeah, it would be so so funny whenever the um we have like a Google play home, you know, like an Alexa, but like a Google one at home. And like Ollie will always be like, Hey Google, play Spotify, and every time it comes with love stories, and I'll hear him like the other end of the flat being like, Hey Google, put on Spotify, and it'll be like doo doo doo and I'm just gonna do like obviously your favourite song.

SPEAKER_01 32:48

Yeah, that's the funny thing. But like to be honest, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 32:52

I don't think I'm gonna try and forget it. What? Well, it's like three weeks before Em's wedding. Like one my one of my best friends' wedding. Yeah, and like famously after every festival I've been to recently, I've been like severely ill for like two months. Oh my god. I really don't know what it is. I really I'm convinced that it's migraine, drugs in there. So we went to Primo Vet. Well it started last Fector, didn't it? That was a little bit different because I was throwing up for like 24 hours, like really badly for like 24, maybe even two days. So I and pe other people were throwing up, so I feel like there was a virus going out. No, but I think it linked your head. There's like I was getting these like head zaps. You get head zaps, and you remember you had to lie still and if you so much as moved your eyeballs. Yeah, no, I literally it was actually so I've actually not don't think I've been that ill. I'm laughing, but it wasn't funny at the time. Like it was actually really bad. I literally lay in the dark room. Yeah. I couldn't, I could just maybe just about listen to something, but I couldn't even watch TV. I couldn't You couldn't move your head. I couldn't move my head, I couldn't go on my phone, I couldn't do anything. It was for like three days I was like that. Yeah. Um I got really skinny. And then Primavera, um well, we didn't sleep. We literally went to the sound system.

SPEAKER_03 34:09

I was losing my mind, like jumping all over everyone.

SPEAKER_04 34:12

We were obviously taking a couple of pills, shall I say, from the cold. Um, but anyway, so we were obviously completely insane, barely drunk, any water, um, been drinking like beers all day, and obviously hadn't slept very much the last few days, like of the festival. And then we stupidly, to save money, decided to fly on a connecting flight from Barcelona that exact same night back to London. So then we had to go straight from the festival.

SPEAKER_03 34:41

So honestly, the worst idea we've ever had. The worst idea we've ever had, and we've had some bad ones. No, it was we had to go straight to the airport, still fucked, get on the plane, and we had our layover in Corunia, which is like Zara town, somewhere on like the eastern coast of Spain, where Hannah developed a really bad stomach ache and started doing these like weird squats on the grass. Yoga poses. Felt so ill. Like lying on the floor, writhing around in Corunia as I was trying to force a baguette on my phone. And then we had to get on our next flight. At this point, neither of us had slept, and we get home at like 2 pm in mid time having not slept, and both of us feel just okay.

SPEAKER_04 35:27

And then lo and fucking behold, the head zapping began in full force. And I felt really ill for a while. It was like a weird, like I don't even know how to describe it, kind of like you have like low blood pressure or something, like just like feel really dizzy and like nauseous. And I was drinking like coconut water, like there was nothing else on the earth, anyway. And I still felt weird when we got to Italy for our friend's wedding, so that like wasn't fun. So I just I don't think I can risk it. No, you just have to take loads of Pro Plus.

SPEAKER_03 35:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:55

Get on your ADHD, man.

SPEAKER_03 35:56

Yeah, exactly. I'll give you some albums.

SPEAKER_04 35:58

Um, okay, so on a more serious topic, Cannes Film Festival. I don't really engage with Canned Film Festival, but I just thought the guesses this year was like so jokes. It was random. It was like Maura Higgins. Yeah, what on earth did she do? I don't know. And then Olivia O'Neill, who you didn't know who that was, but she's like a Gen Z Irish influencer. And then Bella Hadid and like Barbara Calvin, like John Travolta, who was wearing a very fun selection of very soul hats. Um he looked insane and like so gay. So I think he probably I don't know allegedly and obviously. But I don't know anything about the film. Well, I don't think they had a massive delegate I read about it, they didn't have a massive delegation of um big films. You know how like last year it was Urchin and like but the one thing that I did see with the Jordan Firstman film. Yeah, I didn't I don't know anything about this club people. Um that looks really, really weird club kids.

SPEAKER_03 37:04

Club people that's the grandma playing Jaguar skills the club people.

SPEAKER_04 37:12

Okay, club kids. What's it about? Well, he plays a washed up a club promoter who's basically overstayed his welcome on the party scene. Is it's funny because he's obviously like comedy. I think it's like tragic comedy kind of fun. And then basically his near-old son, I'm not sure if he's aware of him, but he comes to basically stay with him, and I think that kind of sets off this whole journey of trying to figure out if his life still worked for him. Yeah, exactly. Um, but I don't know anything about it, I didn't even know he was doing a film. Well neither did I, but when we were obsessed with him, yeah. I saw him in Mexico. Did you? On UT. Yeah. Oh wait, no, I did know this. Yeah, you knew that. So it was like three years ago, four years ago, I was in um the middle of nowhere in Mexico, and it literally in the middle of nowhere on this in this beach hut and randomly at the bar was Jordan Berthner. And I was like, oh my god. And then I turned to my mind, Sienna Miller was there.

SPEAKER_03 38:01

Yeah, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 38:03

Didn't you have a whole combo of Sienna Miller?

SPEAKER_03 38:04

Yeah, I did. And I obviously was pretending I didn't know who she was, and she was like, Oh my god, I just turned 41, like I'm so old. And I was like, you don't make a day of a train set. And she doesn't, she doesn't, and then she was like asking everyone for cigarettes, and I was like, You would have all of mine.

SPEAKER_04 38:19

Is she like as beautiful in person? I actually think she's like one of the most beautiful people. Yeah, and she she looks really natural and just like really kind of like dainty and she quite small, she's tiny. Is she? Yeah, she's tiny and skinny and just looks like a little fairy.

SPEAKER_02 38:32

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:33

She was so she she was she was definitely pretty drunk, but uh so were we all? But it was nice. I was like, how have fun is that? Just like have fun. No, that's so nice. I love that she was just like chatting away to you. Yeah, she was chatting to everyone. I love that, yeah. Um, but Jordan Firstman, so he's done this new film. His last one, I think, was called like rotting in the sun or something like that. Apparently, that one was quite dark, but I think this one is maybe a little bit more funny, but also got sort of tragic element.

SPEAKER_01 38:58

But it got a seven minute sounding rotation in Cannes and it had a massive bidding war.

SPEAKER_03 39:03

Oh wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:04

So he he was like shocked because he was like, What the hell? So they've already made the film, and then A24 apparently won the bidding war with 17 billion uh million, not bidding billion, that's 70 million quid for it. So you smashed that. I didn't also know that's what happened. So do you so if you so you can get like funding to make your film or whatever, yeah, and then what you go to can and then like what like a studio or a streamer or something picks it up. Yeah, so then what did they do with it? Because surely you needed someone to like produce it anyway. Well, okay, so I said my friend Nico is doing this at the moment. So if you make a film, obviously, like if you're like Lina Dunaman, you're making your first film, like she got loads of investment from like her parents' rich brands, whatever. But um, you know, let's say you have no money, you you just make it on a ramshackle budget, you just find a friend who's like a producer, you just do it cheaply. Obviously, he had connections, like he had people helping him. Um, and then you apply to can. So either get in or you don't. Yeah. So if you get in, it's that you show your film at CAN. And it's like winning skate money to a festival, you know.

SPEAKER_02 40:05

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:06

And then it gets shown, like that can then lead to other new opportunities. So obviously, he wasn't necessarily going to distribute that film anywhere, but now it will be distributed by A Pan Four. That's really cool. I'm really happy for him. I think he's really funny. Um, he got famous for doing the like songs, like the people's confections.

SPEAKER_03 40:25

It was like everybody, me you and my are like obsessed with it. But you know what? It just goes to show, like, you've got to start somewhere. Yeah, totally. Do you remember it was like it would be like the weirdest thing? Do you remember it'd be like secrets it'd be like secret Mondays, and it'd be like I like got with my dad, it'd be like I got with my dad.

SPEAKER_00 40:42

Yeah, you cracked me up.

SPEAKER_01 40:44

Um actually, and speaking of singing, um, I know that you didn't watch Eurovision. Did you boycott it?

SPEAKER_04 40:49

No, I never did no, but I heard people did. Yeah, because um Israel, yeah, who actually came second, uh second to Bulgaria. Wild to me. I know, but um poor, poor, poor UK. Dear, dear me, dear me, guys.

SPEAKER_03 41:04

What happened? Well, what can I say? We didn't do well. In fact, we came last with only one point being awarded by good old Ukraine.

SPEAKER_04 41:13

That was obviously a picky point. Yeah, um that's really embarrassing. I know, so it's this guy called Sam Battle, and he I think he act was something like I'm not on my computer, Mum, or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

Um, and basically, the poor guy.

SPEAKER_04 41:29

So he was singing about this. I mean, I didn't even think it was that bad, but I mean you watched it and you said it wasn't good either. Well, no, George was like George was like, I don't even think it's that bad, and I was like, it's not good. I don't know, he's called Look Mum, No Computer, and for some reason it's got German in it, and basically he's singing about how like he wants to quit his job in tech and basically moved to Berlin. So he's living the he's living the kind of thing. It kind of felt like a bit of a parody though, which I guess is kind of Eurovision vibe, but I don't know, obviously wasn't working. In some way, but do we ever do well? Uh no, because I think uh Europe hates us on the whole. Yeah. Do you remember that year when Kate Kate priced the deck? No, and I think she's sang a whole new world. Did you see uh did you see that like her she like got married to some guy in Dubai after like a week as a con man in Dubai, but not allowed to leave the country and go in around? And he's been missing for like three days or something. What? Yeah, and she looked really scary. I know. Gosh, don't want to um go a piece of the um but um but yeah, and the saddest thing, guys, was not only did they do so badly, this poor guy he did this crazy um like synthesizer. I mean, imagine craft work, but if it was kind of mixed with Barney, the purple dinosaur. Like, you know what I mean? It's like that vibe. But anyway, the poor guys that everyone had their seats with their allocated um delegations. So obviously that would include, like, I don't know, the manager and like various people who have sat with them. The poor guy just sat on his own. But why? Apparently there was an outcry that the BBC in the UK didn't send him with delegated.

SPEAKER_03 43:09

I don't know, clearly, no one gives a fuck in the in the UK. Yeah. I mean, I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_04 43:14

No, but I enjoy the like campiness of it. And the fact that Graham Northern does it as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like it's become a little bit irrelevant now. It used to be a bit more relevant. Well, I guess it was a quite big night to watch because it went on for quite a long time, and you'd be able to stay off a bit later and have watch it and like stuff like that. Um, was the Bulgaria one beer?

SPEAKER_03 43:33

I don't know, couldn't I?

SPEAKER_02 43:35

Um you know what Poland did?

SPEAKER_03 43:37

No idea, probably probably Gary, probably second from the bottom. What would you perform?

SPEAKER_04 43:45

Um, well you have to make up your own thing. So we don't do like a cover. Oh right, okay. So what do you reckon your style would be? Well, I guess everything's quite like campy, don't you? So um

SPEAKER_03 44:00

They go rap.

SPEAKER_04 44:04

I don't know. Kind of thinking. Opera. Do you know what I think would do quite well? Like something like Britney Spears-esque.

SPEAKER_03 44:13

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 44:14

Well, not me personally, but just in general.

SPEAKER_03 44:17

You like writhing around with some snakes. Yeah, something like that. I love the word writhing. I think I've said it six times. Oh god.

SPEAKER_04 44:29

Um, yeah, good old Eurovision. Did you see that Harry Stars has started his tour? I did, and I saw Zoe there. Saw Zoe there next to James Corden. James Corden! It looked so awkward. She's kind of like diving quite a cool way, and James Corden is just like really awkwardly bopping. Yeah. I was like, wow, these two are not a natural map. No, no, no. Um, but yeah, would you want to go see that concert? Harry. Yeah. Um, yeah, but I wouldn't I don't necessarily pay for it, yeah. I wouldn't pay for it. Although they're like £300. Harry's manager's listening. We'll take we'll take some tickets. Yeah. We'll take some. But I definitely won't be paying for them. But I will not be paying for them. And I want to be in the disability. Um okay, so recommendations this week. Have you got any recommendations? I actually don't really have any. Oh, actually, we started watching Legends. Oh, yeah. It's really good. Yeah, it's really good. Although Steve Coogan is just like he is a good actor, but just he says certain things in your like Adam Hartridge. But it's really good. It's like 90s Britain, and there's young people dying of heroin overdoses, and they show two of it at the beginning. It's like one like in Merseyside, and like a young guy like goes to a rave and has an overdose, and then another Oxford University and a girl has an overdose. And basically, customs are having a really hard time being able to stop anything being smuggled in because they had like no resources, and governments basically have to sort out. And Thatcher's done this whole speech about how she's like going to come after the drug criminals and all this stuff, and they basically are taking like customs people who work in all different areas of customs, yeah, and pick a few of them who basically are going undercover to infiltrate the two gangs which in North London, then um in Liverpool, where they're using the ports. Um, but anyway, it's really, really good, and um I would recommend that. Oh, okay. No, I've actually heard good things, so I'll definitely watch that. Um, I am reading London Falling by Patrick Radinkeith, the guy who wrote Say Nothing, another one of my phase, during my IRA phase. Yes, yes, should caveat that.

SPEAKER_03 46:40

When I say IRA phase, I just got really obsessed with the history of the Irish like Republican movement.

SPEAKER_04 46:46

Anyway, so he um he's written this new book, London Falling, and it's really good. It's really good. I won't like ruin it, but basically, there's this London teenager who essentially is washed up in the Thames, his body is found. Turns out that he is this like boy who grew up in Maydavel, um, but he had somehow managed to get in with all of these shady businessmen and like Russian oligarchs, and he'd been pretending that he was the Russian oligarch's son. I haven't got any further, but all of this stuff is happening, and all these business associates who were apparently his friends claimed that they were like helping him, they didn't know like what was going on, and he was staying at one of their houses. Um, but anyway, I think it they seem like they're pretty sus. And his poor parents didn't have any clue that any of this was going on, and he was like really normal shit, like quite a bit eccentric and silly. Then he went, got a bit older and 16, and then became obsessed with money and wealth and was like, guy, like mum and dad, why can't you get a nicer car? And one time got so angry he like launched across the table and throttled his mum.

SPEAKER_00 47:49

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 47:50

Yeah, so she was like, What's going on? Like, tried to send me to a therapist. The therapist was like, He's fine, and he's obviously just you know going through some shit. Anyway, he then gets ridder and ridder, he decides that he wants to go to a different sixth form. So he's then into this new sixth form and unbeknownst to his parents, he'd gone to the sixth form and spoke in a Russian accent to everyone. Because he already started this persona of pretending to be a Russian oligarch's son. Oh anyway, so it's really interesting. Are you audiobooking? I'm audiobooking. So when I say reading, I am not.

SPEAKER_03 48:19

I am actually reading something else along the line.

SPEAKER_04 48:22

I know that I you do you. You just you you're loving your audio. You know what it is? I'm just like, I'm kind of I'm podcast out at the moment. You consume a crazy amount of podcasts. So I just how you do it. I think sometimes they're like a nice hit of info, but after a while I'm infoed out. I kind of just want to have narrative. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I can see that. Well, I think that's that's enough one day. We rattled narrative out. Um I would also recommend seeing little kitten and getting them to knock in the lap because Julie's cat is so cute. Can you hear?

SPEAKER_03 49:03

Miss Hammigan, Miss Farmigan!

SPEAKER_01 49:07

Well done, you made it to the end. Another chaotic, very strange ending that seemed to tail off into nothing. So I'm just gonna say goodbye formally right now. Thank you so much for listening. I'm sorry about the chaos, the tinniness, the muffled, the white noise. Um, do not take drugs. They are very bad for you. I'm sending you my very best regards and have a glorious and very classy week.