8. Hangovers, WAG Nostalgia & a Cursed Horse Race Prediction

This week on No Country for Hot Girls, we are recording in peak post-weekend condition: mildly regretful, highly caffeinated, and emotionally unstable in a very productive way. Expect hangover confessions, chaotic public transport decision-making, and the kind of friendship dynamic where interrupting is both a sport and a love language.

We also go deep on the internet’s most dangerous game: asking ChatGPT which fictional character you are (spoiler: it’s giving Hermione… and Fleabag, depending on how honest you want to be). From there, things spiral as they tend to, into WAG nostalgia, Arsenal-induced identity crises, and a full cultural audit of everything from Kim Kardashian’s hard launch to Pussycat Dolls drama.

And just when you think we’ve peaked, we uncover a genuinely unhinged Epsom Derby conspiracy involving a decades-old cryptic note, a horse called Christmas Day, and the unsettling possibility that the universe is actively trying to get us into gambling.

In short: it’s pop culture, personal chaos, and questionable life lessons served exactly how we like it.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:01

Hello, hello, my gorgeous darling, darling listeners. How are we? I'm trying out a little sultry tone today, um, sultry radio presenting voice. You know, like really early morning radio presenters at like 4 am, and they're like, hi, welcome guys.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

We've got some really fun tunes about snow.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

Um, you know the ones. Anyway, I'm trying that out because, guys, frankly, I've been traumatised by doing the edit for this week's pod because at some point I thought I was genuinely a screech ow. So um, yeah, you might want to chuck in the old earplugs. But if you're confident in your eardrums, then this week we've got an absolute corker of an episode. We've got pop culture chat, we've got wag nostalgia, we've got arsenal mania. Hannah even tries to explain the offside role.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

Could there be anything more exciting? I think not.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

We even talk about making a bet on a horse at the Epsom Derby, which we forget to make because we go to the pub and drink loads of Guinness instead, and said horse fucking wins. So, yeah, I I just don't think the the universe wants me to have any money, frankly.

SPEAKER_05 1:21

I think it's got to that point.

SPEAKER_03 1:23

But I hope you're all uh rolling in it. I can just live vicariously through you guys. You can just maybe send me some cash or just maybe fucking subscribe to my substack. Actually, that would be great. On that note, I hope you've buckled up. I hope you're sitting tight. I hope you've recovered from uh the weekend, by which I mean stalking Dua Leeper and Callum Turner's wedding. Um, I think I might need glasses now, actually, the amount of times I've zoomed in on pixelated screens. But we'll be talking more about that in the next episode. So don't you worry, we'll be doing a deep, deep dive into the one that got away, aka Callum Turner. And if you don't know that story, then listen to the episode about the Brock tea chat, okay? Alright, guys, I'm gonna love you and leave you. Sayanara. Hello, you've reached No Country But Hot Girls Podcast. We can't come to the phone right now because we have better things to do.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

I'm hungover today, so um I very I really this morning I woke up and I was like the sobriety journey's ended. That was really the nail in the coffin.

SPEAKER_05 2:38

Yeah, I wasn't that hungover, but I was saying to Jules, like I've I've been having a really good run of not getting a hangover, so I think it's coming for me soon. Yeah, but I'm surviving. I'm surviving thus far.

SPEAKER_04 2:55

You texted me this morning and I was like still in bed. Literally, my eyes were like glued shut with sleep, literally, and my whole face was like enlarged by three times. And you texted me being like, I think I feel fine, and I was like, I'm gonna punch you in the face.

SPEAKER_05 3:08

To be fair, I slept till like 10, which I never really do after drinking. You must have needed it. But no, our friend Lizzie had engaged drinks, it was very generous. It was free bars. I can't believe it! Little burglary coat. Oh my god, I know little champagne, rowing. He went a prosecco, it was real champagne. No prosecco's inside. It was not a single prosecco inside. We love her for that.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

We love her for that. Sorry, I need to work on the non jumping.

SPEAKER_04 3:39

I was saying to Hanna earlier that basically when I re-listen to us, it sounds insane. Like both of us are basically like yapping away, but like over the top of each other. And um, I'm really trying not to interrupt.

SPEAKER_05 3:50

That's my music. Trying to learn a new dynamic where we don't speak over each other, basically. We let each other's talk. It's really hard. The thing is, like, I know that like some people find it really rude, but we don't do it in a rude way. No, and also I think when you're like so close, you just sort of even if you can't really hear what the other person's saying, you understand. You're talking about the same thing. Everything. Yeah. Like what's in your brain is in my brain, and that's fine. And you know what I'm gonna say. So you're like, well, hurry up, because I know that I know what this sentence to let me know what my own response is. So I was gonna say it.

SPEAKER_01 4:31

My dad, when I was growing up, was really, really weird about interrupting. Like, really weird.

SPEAKER_05 4:35

Like, if you interrupted him, he'd be like, Stop interrupt. Like he'd really like go off and fly up the handle. Because well, he lived in a house with three daughters and a wife, four women in a house. I understand. But I can't gain. Sorry, Dad. No, but I think it comes from a phase of he was like the youngest child and didn't feel listened to. So, like for him, he like sorry dad. No, but you know, because some people really don't notice, but like some people really notice. I can imagine three girls, three sisters. You of course you're not getting a word in.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

Sure, sure, sure, sure. Are you sticking up for Merrick?

SPEAKER_05 5:16

Yes, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to defend Merrick, yeah. But you know, sometimes it's like we go out, our group of friends. I like feel like I need like a beat blocker or something. Yeah, that can be stressful when our whole group is out because everyone is always saying something quippy or something. But it's like 10 quips at once, and it's just like the volume of noises, it's so dysregulated. No, it is, it really is. Oh god, but no, yeah, and then there was our friend Norman was looking after a dog who was this old little Pomeranian, and he had to add a peach, and he was like his fluffy little head, and then he had just like no fur from the neck down. And a little naked ass, these little naked bum. He was wearing a little um polo neck and the little t-shirt underneath. He had layers, he had layers on. My god, he's so cute. He was really sweet.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

We'd the poor the poor thing was like being man, I mean, obviously, mostly by me man, and just like toted around the party.

SPEAKER_05 6:15

Norma arrived with him in her bag, and it he was kind of like vibrating, and I was like, genuinely, is this a battery-operated toy? Bless him though, like he kept farting. So nervous. He really was, but anyway, we had a really nice time, so that was nice. And now we're together again. We're together again. I'm so happy. I know. Georgia tried to get some affection from her housemate, and she wasn't giving her any, so she's happy that I'm here.

SPEAKER_06 6:42

I literally said to blow this morning, I was feeling a bit fragile after the first the real break of the sobriety journey, and she was like, I basically leant over to try and hold her hand. She literally looked at me as if I had seven heads, and I had to style the handhold out as a handshake. She'd be just shook hands on the sofa, and I was like, Yep, that's what I was doing.

SPEAKER_05 7:04

That was what I intended, and then she was like, only one hour till Hannah gets here and will actually hold my hand. And then I was waiting for you on the steps at the station.

SPEAKER_04 7:17

Did you see me from afar?

SPEAKER_06 7:18

Because I was like waving like a proud mom.

SPEAKER_05 7:21

No, I did not see that. Only when I looked up and saw you, then I was like, Why is she in the station?

SPEAKER_06 7:27

I really wanted to like collect you, you know.

SPEAKER_05 7:31

That's cute. How do you feel about the breaking of the sobriety? Um, well, I definitely feel like um it's it's it's it's probably the sobriety needs to come back. No, but it wasn't that bad. Yeah, it wasn't that bad. I think it's just like I definitely like still can't moderate. No, although there was one point where you were like, I might get another drink, and I was like, I think we're all gonna leave, so don't. And you were like, okay, cool, I won't. Yeah. And so it felt like the end. Yeah. Yeah. Like I was fine. I think like if I'd got an Uber home, it would have been completely fine. It's just obvious I refused to spend like 60 quid on a fucking taxi. So I was like dozing on the fucking train. You know, and you have to clench your ass juicy and wake yourself up.

SPEAKER_06 8:15

I was just that like.

SPEAKER_05 8:16

I think if you were, if it had been, yeah, because of we were in South London, obviously Jules lives in north. So if you had been nearer your house and had just been able to like pop home or whatever, you would have it would have been a different story. But yeah, the I think the public transport journey when you're like a bit drunk and it's late and you're tired always makes you feel a bit like frazzled and weird. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 8:39

Yeah, I know, but like just who has money for Uber these days? Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_05 8:43

We used to do it all the time, like every ever like after every night out, I feel like we'd jump on an Uber and I feel like we don't do that as much. No, we definitely don't do that as much anymore. Which we probably should. The like trajectory of our like safety has gone from teenager like five night buses to get home, like no regard for our safety whatsoever. Then 20s, constantly getting Ubers everywhere. Because we were like, we cannot possibly spit on it. This is what I get of my affection. Um, yeah, and then in the 20s it was like, oh no, we have to get home safely, of course. We're gonna spend money on Ubers. Yeah, and now we're in our 30s, we're like, yeah, fuck it. Yeah, it wasn't for me anyway. Literally, oh my god, so true. Wandering around in a completely see-through dress, like literally a see-through dress with my tits out, like asleep on the tube, and I'm like, nah, it's fine.

SPEAKER_02 9:39

They don't want me, trust me. I've tried, I've been trying, they really don't want me. Oh god, that's me.

SPEAKER_05 9:53

What was it like? If anyone does want me, like I'm open and I'm hitting me up. We've taken the dark turn. Wait, can we please do this? We actually do have stuff we want to talk about, but can we do this TikTok trend I did? So, like it was this TikTok trend where you type into chat GPT from everything that I've been speaking to you about and what you think you know about me, what fictional character I'm am I most like. I put female because I just wanted to see who was like the if it was like a woman or whatever. And um, guess who I got?

SPEAKER_01 10:28

Oh my god, okay.

SPEAKER_05 10:30

Do one guess. Okay, one guess.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Um I think it would be quite cute, like a cute person.

SPEAKER_05 10:35

Okay. Like I'm thinking, okay, this is a compliment to you. It's probably too much for a compliment. But I'm thinking like Belle. Oh my god, that was my my alternative one. Yeah. So my my main one was Hermione Granger. You are Hermione! It was like, it was like from your curiosity or something. Oh, and then my alt was Belle. That's nuts. Yeah, it was like a it was like you clearly have a love for books. So I was like, where did you get that?

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Never once mentioned a book, but okay.

SPEAKER_05 11:07

Anyway, so I want yours to do hers.

SPEAKER_01 11:09

Okay, mine's definitely gonna be Dame Edna. It's like literally the most neurotic train of thought. Okay, what female fictional character character am I? Oh my god. I actually don't know enough about you.

SPEAKER_05 11:26

It said that to me as well. Oh, okay. It's just like what? So what do I do? Oh, oh, it actually hasn't even given you anything. No, it wants me to tell a genuinely thoughtful comparison. Tell me a bit about how your friends have. But I deleted loads of my chat. Okay, well, choose anyway. I'm choosing with absolutely no information.

SPEAKER_04 11:53

Sorry, but that's that's quite aggressive. With absolutely no information, you've chosen the most psychotic. Oh my god. Not because I think you're exactly like her, but because the people who ask questions like this often have a mix of self-awareness.

SPEAKER_06 12:24

Oh my god, that was an attack, but okay. Sure.

SPEAKER_05 12:28

Wait, let me read mine out. So it said, I can take a guess, but it'd be a very rough one because I only know you through the message you sent in this chat. From the way you've interacted here, a character that comes to mind is Hermind Ranger. Not because of the stereotypical smart girl label, but because your questions often seem introspective and analytical. And then it said other possibilities. First one is Belle, if you're driven by curiosity reflection and the love of learning. Elizabeth Bennett, and then Katniss Everdeen. Oh my god. I was like, if I was in the Hunter Games, I would die. You'd be the first death either way. Um but anyway, so I thought that was quite funny. You are very Hermione Granger. I'm never gonna be able to answer you that now. You just need our hair, and you're so flea back that thinks I'd I love that. From the absolutely zero information that you've given me, I'm gonna take a while to go. I wish you had covered all of your history. That would have been really good. The answer is probably still anyway. So on other news, we had part two of the Scamanda reunion because we've got to do a Scamander segment. Yeah. Not Scamander reunion, sorry, the Simmer House reunion, which heavily features Scamander. We could talk about it all day. We're not gonna bore people with it.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

Keep it brief.

SPEAKER_05 13:42

Yeah, but it was, I mean, they're not giving us anything, and it's annoying. Yeah, so Wes and Amanda seem completely unrepentant. Amanda looks like she's high on about 17 valiants. She took a break, she walks off the stage and she doesn't come back for a really long time, and she came back looking like she didn't know what the fuck was going on. Yeah, and allegedly. Allegedly, but yeah, and Wes is just saying absolutely nothing. Yeah, it feels very like they just are being PR'd and yeah, I know. I heard Andy talking about it on a podcast and he was saying about Wes because he's not even saying anything that he thinks that Wes went into it being like, whatever I say, I'm gonna be annihilated, so I'm just gonna like say nothing. Yeah. Whatever I think we need to be wrong, because to be honest, it's too upsetting. Yeah. Um, so you've done actually quite a lot of research this week. No, just stuff was like popping up. I feel like when we started doing this, I was like, I'm gonna actually have to pay attention to what I see on the internet. And now I'm like, oh, another thing, what's come across my desk? Do you know what I mean? I know exactly. I mean, actually, there's not that much time. It's also like really weird and niche, like Rand is no. Did you see Kim Kodashian's hard launch with Lewis Hamilton on the bar on Instagram? Yeah, yeah. I thought it was quite funny. It was quite funny. Her like falling off. Yeah. I like that for her. I think this might be her person. Maybe. I get the vibe that he's a nice guy and I feel like she's gone out with some nutters. Isn't he notoriously quite a dick? Oh. I don't know. I actually have got no idea. Who was his ex? Nicole Schurz. Yeah. Scherzinger. Yeah. I remember when that whole Pussycat Dolls stuff happened, you know, when that woman tried to take over the singing.

unknown 15:25

No.

SPEAKER_05 15:26

Do you not remember that performance? But so apparently like the lore was that um she was like the frontman for the pussycat dolls, but there was obviously loads of them, and they were all in their rights, like really amazing singers and dancers. But apparently she was quite a diva and she was like, only I get to sing. Like you guys are basically background singers. It wasn't like girls allowed where like everyone, do you know what I mean? It wasn't a girl band. And then they do, I can't remember her name, I want to say it's like Melody or something like that. They did a performance, and like obviously one of the girls was like, Fuck this, and just started singing over Nicole, and it had an amazing voice. I'm like, I can't believe you've never seen this. This is like an iconic thing. And Nicole's face, because it's like a live performance, obviously she didn't tell her that she was gonna do that, but um, Nicole's face is like, Oh my god, what the fuck is going on? And then side-eyeing her to like shut up, and she just goes to the front of the stage and just starts singing loads. Oh my god! Okay, I'm gonna watch that. Yeah, clearly that was a bit of a power dynamic. Um what would you be if you're in a band? What is in a what role would you take? Wait, someone was telling me last night that they were a really good singer, but I can't remember who that was. I feel like Do you remember that? Yeah, I remember that. Who the fuck said that? And I was like, really? Oh, it was Lizzie's mum. Oh, okay. I wasn't really, and I was like, is Lizzie gonna sing him? Sorry, in what context was Jilly telling you that? She's saying she's been in choir at the moment. And I was like, that's really cute. Oh my god, that's it. Um sorry, we digress. Um, what was the question? Oh, what will there all be in? Yeah, I don't know. I can't dance, I can't sing.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

I think you could maybe be the drummer, but your thing is your arms are a bit weak.

SPEAKER_05 17:12

Girl bands don't have drummers. No, but we're a rock band. Oh, okay, we're a post-b. I was thinking like bubblegum pop. Okay, right. In that case. Yeah, I mean I'd have no place in that band. Well, but you would in a rock band. All right.

SPEAKER_06 17:25

Yeah, literally, I'd be front and centre, obviously.

SPEAKER_05 17:28

Okay, alright. Giving sleep accogus. It's giving belt. You're like, I wouldn't be in a band, okay? Because I don't play any instruments. Oh god.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

But that is actually one of my dreams, is always to have been in a band.

SPEAKER_05 17:46

You could have done it.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

I could have done it. I still could do it.

SPEAKER_05 17:48

Do you I don't feel like you have that much of a musical um no? I don't, I really don't. When I was younger, but there's you can obviously like loads of music, but doesn't it mean you have necessarily have talent.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

I don't have to share my music with the world. No, I actually have no musical talent whatsoever. That was always my dream when I was like a teenager, and I obviously had Julian Casablanca, as we all know. Um, and I just remember how sad is this. I remember thinking, I can't ever be in a band because girls are not allowed to be in bands.

SPEAKER_05 18:22

Oh, that's so sad. I think you actually taught me that before. Yeah. How sad is that? Like that is really sad. Times have changed so much since we were teenagers, because like that was not long ago. I mean, it was quite a long time ago. It was like 15 years ago. Now I feel like if you're a teenage girl, if you wanted to start like a little indie band, you could start it. But when we were growing up, even though some boys weren't arsehole, but the majority of them were, like, if you were a girl that even made a joke, they would like laugh at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's quite funny. I mean, I don't know if you had this, but there was a mixture of definitely, yeah, feeling like you couldn't, as a girl, you couldn't do certain things, or you know, pipe dreams were pipe dreams. But then also I feel like I was just so young and I was like so delusional that I thought I also was gonna by the age of 21, I was like, I'm gonna live in an amazing flat in London and like probably be married, and like and I'm like, why did I think all of that? And then we got to 21 and I was like, Whoa, you were like passing out on a drive, yeah. In embargoes on the KR. Do you remember that? Oh my god. So it was a mixture of yeah, not feeling like you could do anything, but then also delusional, yeah, a complete delusion. I know, but I actually think about that a lot because we grew up in London, so I feel like we were exposed to lots of different people, people who were liberal, like our friends were really liberal, but there definitely was a dynamic that the boys were always better than the girls. No, definitely. I mean, like my school is like so misogynistic.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 19:56

Well, my year was anyway, and the teachers were too. And it used to be in only boys' school, and then like they started letting in girls in. But I remember even back then, even before I knew what like feminism was, like I felt angry at it. And like I was like, I've told you the story before, but at my school, they tried to do this thing where they gave girls less food for lunch than they did the boys. Yeah, and I was shook. I was like, Are you fucking joking? And the lunch lady was like, That's just what they've told us. And I literally remember looking at my bowl, and it was like eight pieces of pasta in there, and I was like, What's the fuck's going on? Yeah, half these girls have eating disorders anyway. Like, why are you trying to give us less food? Anyway, it was crazy. And I went to my headmaster's office and like knocked on the door, and I was like, I need to speak to someone about this because I was so angry. That's your inner homine. It's main as well. Oh my god, she was always I'm gonna actually what is what? Wait, can I just say that's a boss bitch move?

SPEAKER_04 20:52

I love that.

SPEAKER_05 20:53

Yeah, I mean, I kind of like repressed what the memory was after. I think his secretary came out and was like, You can't do this. But um, but we did get normal lunches again. Oh my god! It was so insane. I was like, what are we living in? Some like dystopian handmaid's tale shit. Like, what? Yeah, no, but I do remember like feeling like angry at my school for treating women, the girls differently. Yeah, but the thing was weird with school is like I never wasn't good at pee and stuff like that, and it's like you you felt like you just were constantly being like moulded into something, and I really struggled with that, and then also along with a very overt layer of sexism. I remember feeling like very angry at my school. Yeah, it's so tricky, isn't it? Because sorry, this is like such a tangent now, getting quite getting quite heavy. It's so funny how like obviously it's you it's not your parents' fault, they obviously put you in a place that's they're trying their best to give you the best education, whatever. All of us are so uniquely different, and I feel like me and you are such sensitive Sally's, and we're like to do craps and crafts. And obviously, we're not gonna be playing like netball, like you know what I mean, but like we went to Schools where it was like academics and netball. Yeah, no, usually you just were like an idiot or like you're not good enough, but it's not your fault, but it's just like the environment doesn't match. No, for sure. And I say this all the time, I don't think exams are like the best way of analysing someone's like IQ or whatever you want to call it. Because even though coursework is so much longer, I just think that like people get first of all so anxious, people can't memorize things. Like, some people can memorize things way better than other people. It's just like to sit somewhere for an hour and have to test someone based on that when you've had the whole year of contributing towards a class or something. I just think it's weird. Can I just say it's A levels at the moment? And GTSEs, first of all, like holding a candle. Like, let's just take a moment of silence for those poor poor people. I could honestly think of nothing worse than doing that again. Do you remember GCSEs? You have to learn 16 subjects. Yeah, and like so oh my god, it was 16, a whole like two years worth of curriculum and then like regurgitate it at the same time. And it and they really hammer into you like this is the most important thing of your life, and you're lost. You felt like you're you're a loser. Yeah, no, it was really stressful, but um, we can move on to something else after because I can't bother to talk about repressed school memories anymore. But um when on the on the um sport thing, I was so annoying with the P teachers because I was just like, I'm not good at any of this stuff, like just leave me alone. And they got so bored with me by the end that by the end of Sick Form I had made up my own sport, which was walk around the common once and then go. I am I am dead. I am actually dead. It was like a cross country walk, and they were like, Okay, fine, do whatever the fuck you want, like we don't care anymore. I am that's iconic actually. Do what give you you, love that, and I would just leave early on like a Friday, like when it was like the P period at the end of the day. Look at everyone now, they're all on their fucking 10,000 steps, and you were ahead of the game. We're fucking prepped for that COVID tando. I think I only did it for like one term or something, but like when they did rounders and stuff, I would literally just stand there and like not even swing the pat. Because I was just like, if you're gonna force me to do this when I first of all feel uncomfortable, don't want to do it, hating every single second of it, then I'm gonna be the most annoying person ever. I'm actually surprised I didn't get in more trouble, but I know. God, I I was literally the same. I actually would verbally say that I thought that doing exercise was lame. Like I was like physical exertion. Like, I just want to be in a rock band, like and you're making me do something. I want to be in a rock band and I want to be snorting ketamine, all right, or someone's mum's floor. Like, leave me alone, hello, and I'm fine. But um, I remember because we used to play fucking lacrosse in my school. It was so random. Um it was like a selling point. Oh my honestly, but no, it's like you had horses at your store.

SPEAKER_06 24:58

Did it go to Eton? Put me spoiler alert. I'm in Tony and me and Rory Stewart.

SPEAKER_05 25:08

No, um, no, we play lacrosse. They play like fucking Canada in America. Fuck no, honestly, you could I know the word, but I couldn't even tell you what that looks like. Honestly, it's the shittest, it's the I hated it. And you had to buy these fucking lacrosse sticks, and obviously I was terrible at it and never did it. So I didn't buy lacrosse sticks. So I would visit so they would just give me the secondhand ones, but everyone had these like um plastic and metal, really new light ones, but I had to have the wooden one from the 1970s.

SPEAKER_04 25:35

And basically, I remember I never ever did anything, I would run away from the ball because it was like a cricket ball, so it was quite heavy. And people would you'd throw it, and it was like the ball would be quite scary. So I'd run away, I wouldn't do anything. And then I remember there was this one match where I was like, Do you know what? I'm actually gonna fucking tackle this girl.

SPEAKER_05 25:53

So there was this other girl who was also shit at the ball, she was also kind of annoying, but anyway, I ran towards her and went for the ball with the lacrostic, but instead of getting the ball, I just walloped her across the head. She like crumpled to the floor, and that was my first and only attempt to tackle, and I never did it again. It was really bad. So to have you coming at you with a wooden lacrostic is a nightmare. Glumping towards.

SPEAKER_04 26:24

Do you know what though? I wish I had done a bit more sport because like looking back, I was never fat, but I definitely could have been more toned.

SPEAKER_05 26:30

No, they do like the girls who were like really good at netball, their stomachs still are amazing because it's like they have the muscle memory, whereas I had some zero muscle memory. So you have to work fucking hard to get anything.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 26:43

I had the same, I had the same problem.

SPEAKER_05 26:47

It's fine, we're in it together. We can just get the bag. But now we're here, so um speaking of Lipo, um, I wanted to talk. Obviously, the World Cup's coming up. It's such a good segment. Right. The World Cup coming up, and I wanted to talk about the Wags. Oh my god, yeah. I don't know who the new Wags are now, but like just like every time the World Cup comes on, it's just like a reminder to the glory days of the naughty's wags. It was just such a great time. It was so iconic. It was so good. Did you see that thing I sent you that was like try to send me it from work? Um, and it was like um when they say girls don't know football, and it was like a montage. First of all, it was like a football like in the back of the net, and then it was like Ronaldo's is his name Ronaldo? Yeah, and Ronaldo's wife's engagement ring, like that like massive diamond, and then it was like Cheryl Collins. That was so good. That is literally it. Do you know the upside world? Oh, do you know what? I've gotten people to explain it to you so many times. It's something about like being in front of someone. Being behind and being in front, and something to do with that. Someone's gotta be behind someone if you're kicking it. Their last their last the other team's lot the other team something is supposed to be behind your team something for you to score, or like something like that. It's like if you kick it And that is football. Do you know why? But like, first of all, it's it makes a I think it's a stupid rule. I think that you get rid of it. But also it's like why? What are your why why? Just because it's well, because I always think, I mean, not always, because I need to make it a bit more. You don't even know what the rule is. And so why do you think we need to see it? It's like if you kick it, then if you kick, if you kick it, then you there has to be a player from the other team in front of you. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, yeah. But also, but I always just think like, how are they keeping up with their offside rule? Because I'm not looking at the biggest. Right. The ref the ref, that's the ref's job. I'm just like looking at the ref's job is following what is to follow. That should have been on the montag. I don't know. Um the ref is um following the ball, and so like wherever the ball goes is where the action is. Wait, is that what he does? Runs after the ball. Well, yeah, that's where like all the that's where the shit happens. Because someone's not going to be tackling someone like on the other end of the pitch where there's no football there. I love that you just tried to explain to me that that's where the action happens. Where the ball I know that. Thank you. Let me just explain a football to you, okay? Like, we're not looking at the patch where there's no one stood there, we're following the ball. Yeah, so that's where the referee is. No, but I thought you yeah, obviously that makes sense. Sorry. Obviously, he's following the ball, yeah. Um my god. But yeah, anyway, so I don't really know who the new wags are, but nothing's ever beaten the original crew, has it? No, and we have to like like hold a cat. What's this hold a candle? I got my own. Why you keep saying that? I don't know. Because I keep trying to find the words that means like we need to like thank, like, you know what that word? Like, so show appreciation for um Victoria Beckin. Because I feel like if it wasn't for her, that wouldn't have happened. No, Tosi. That was her Real Madrid era. She had a tan, she'd had her boob job. Yeah, she had the gorgeous blonde extension. Stunning. The huge sunglasses. Um, yeah, no, it was so good. It was like her Cherokole Colleen. Colleen. Um, there were some others there, probably. I don't know. But no, it was so it was such a good time. And their outfits were so good. So good. They were all just so skinny. Yeah, and they were wearing like England tops and vest tops. Oh my god, yeah. Do you remember? And it was like so tiny. Tiny shorts and like those huge belts. It was like the time of the, you know, that like disc belt. Yeah, and then those like massive platform stiletto. But how anyone has ever walked in them, I do not know. No, I don't know either. Like we wore heels yesterday, and that was like the only time to use shorter than like a trainer, like just sold. It was so tiny, but yeah.

SPEAKER_06 31:07

I was like, this is too much.

SPEAKER_05 31:09

Um, but speaking of football, I was lolling because um obviously I'm living in North London and everyone's now an Arsenal fan, apparently. Um, which maybe I am too. I'm joking. You know the amount of like girls in Arsenal tops. I was like, oh, give it a rest. Give it a rest. Also, like we all know that you don't tell me the offside rule. Tell us the fucking offside rule, okay? But you know that there's such like, you know that they've researched on TikTok and they're telling everyone at the park. But honestly, it was kind of crazy. I went to Beckenham Park that morning, which is like very southeast London, and there are people in fucking Arsenal tops, and I was like, they're just all coming out of the cracks, they're literally everywhere. I'm like, are you an Arsenal fan? No, or are you just like joining in? Do you know what I mean? I was like, what I'm like, I was like next to a tram in southeast London, like what's going on? Honestly, I don't know whether you know this about me, but I'm not a big football follower. So embarrassing to say, I know. Um, but yeah, like I don't follow football that much, but like even I feel like I've always used Arsenal as a big, big team, but it's like since when does everyone support Arsenal? It's because it's like obviously it's a huge London team, but people think of it as like London's team because they I think they do very good like marketing and lots of their like adverts and marketing is like in Morley's and with do you know what I mean? It's like got this kind of cultural stuff about it. Whereas like Chelsea, everyone is basically thinks everyone's racist, which is oh, is that yeah? They say that Chelsea fans are like a racist, yeah. Are you racist? Um apart from my dad and brother, Dori Allen. Um but no, that's like a thing, and then Fulham's like quite like polite and yeah with all the full shows. Um so Millwall fans. Yes, but I think it's because it's like very North London vibe, it has this kind of like allure about it. Good aura. Yeah, exactly. Well you know what? Fuck it, I'll throw my bag in with my lot in with them. It looked so crazy. I was like, I need to get the furthest I can away from North London. I also fancy that one player, he's called like Ricardo and he's got long hair and he's really hot. I don't know who that is.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

He's the only player I know on that team. And actually Saka, I like I know him and I like him.

SPEAKER_05 33:27

I saw this TikTok the other day of um this really hot tennis player come up on my thing. And if the captain was like, remember to watch like Roland, I can't remember what the tennis tournament is. It's called like the Roland Murray or something. Yeah, something like that. Something's going on at the moment. But I had never heard of it, and I thought that was the player's name. So I was like to Oli, I was like, Oh my god, this tennis player is really hot, Roland something, and he was like, That's the fucking name of the tournament. And then he was still cracking up about it like half an hour later, and I was like, It's not my fault. Roland is really hot, yeah. Um, speaking of tennis players, apparently the Nadal Nadal documentary is really good. Oh really? Yeah, well, this is according to Gemma, and she's quite into tennis, so maybe it's quite tennis. I didn't even know there was one. Um, but he seems like a cool guy. I like him. Yeah. Yeah.

unknown 34:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:17

Although I'm just I'm not really like across the tennis. Do you remember when we worked at Wimbledon? Oh god, yeah. Every year for the highlight. During uni, we would work at Wimbledon. I think I did it two years.

SPEAKER_01 34:29

Yeah, I think I did it three years.

SPEAKER_05 34:31

Yeah. It was like basically the whole of Leeds and the whole of Bristol at uni's, like gotten jobs at Wimbledon. And we got um we all got to kind of different sections. Me and Tink somehow managed to swindle ourselves into the ticket master section, which is quite a chill job. Like you just sat in the turnstiles and let people in, basically, and you took the money into the into your like little cash box, whatever. But um, and the hours were like quite chill, and then you just spent the rest of the day on Murray Hill or whatever it's called, and um you know how it was like under 12s or free, and if you like someone was like a child was like a little bit over the age, and you would just like let them in, and then they would like tip you basically the same amount that the ticket would cost for the child, or maybe probably a bit less, but then you could just like keep the ticket, yeah. You made extra cash. Tink made loads of extra cash. You guys also earned more than me. Did you remember? Well, we earned really well, it was like a grand for two weeks or something. At uni, that was like a big deal. Yeah, but it's still it still is pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

No, I was fucking furious.

SPEAKER_04 35:29

I was fucking serving pizzas. Yeah. Do you remember? I was the fucking pizza cafe, and I got so fat because like I was so bad.

SPEAKER_05 35:37

The pizzas would obviously be in the splay thing, whatever, and then when no one was looking, I would just pick bits of the pizza. Oh my god, that's disgusting.

SPEAKER_06 35:44

I know, and then one time I I served Judy Murray and it was a half-picked pizza.

SPEAKER_05 35:49

And Julia just eat the whole slicey pizza. It's poor people thinking they're getting like this like cremium experience that when my back wall just like 19-year-olds like eating random bits of pizza. Um, I know that was quite a good gig. That really was a good gig. It was fun as well. Also, we only did it because we basically wanted to go and have fun with each other. Yeah. Maya, do you remember Maya was um in the fancy uh hello Maya again? But um Maya was in like a really fancy bar area, the champagne bar, and she was with this guy that we all fancied. Do you remember?

SPEAKER_01 36:24

I won't say the name.

SPEAKER_05 36:27

Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

And we all fancied him, so we were so jealous. And she said that she was flirting with him every day.

SPEAKER_06 36:33

As I was fucking serving pizzas, I was like, I hate you. Anyway.

SPEAKER_05 36:40

In other news, um Carl Lagerfeld's cat, Chupette, is yet to receive her $1.5 million dollar inheritance. I saw that.

SPEAKER_06 36:53

I am dying. It was like, what was it?

SPEAKER_05 36:55

Like, Chupette's broke. Chupette's broke. Um, but apparently he like is it he or she? I'm gonna go with he. Okay. Um, he was left in the care of like a fellow's housekeeper who they live in a their Paris apartment together. And apparently it's like the will, they're just not releasing the money or something. Yeah, I saw that. Apparently, like the French government has a law against animals and yeah, some I mean fair.

SPEAKER_06 37:23

Fucking fair. There's like people on the street.

SPEAKER_05 37:26

It's like what's the cat gonna do with 1.5 mil? Obviously nothing. But I mean the housekeeper must be like, give the cat the fucking money.

SPEAKER_06 37:33

Can you imagine if the housekeeper went to prison for embezzling shoes?

SPEAKER_05 37:37

Yeah, but like what that was it's under it's under their care. Like they have it's gonna surely go to that. Yeah. What it can only you can't, there's literally no way you could spend 1.5 mil just on like cat food.

SPEAKER_03 37:50

Well, obviously not. Like she'd be eating fucking filet mignon every day. Um that made me laugh.

SPEAKER_01 37:58

I did see that. Do you remember when Kim Kardashian had like a I think he was like, tried to take it to the Megan and it like attacked her?

SPEAKER_05 38:05

Yeah, apparently um that it was like a model in its own right. Apparently, it made three million dollars in its career. Wow, that is pretty fucking impressive. Isn't it? Yeah. So if that if they only got 1.5 million, so well Carl was just taking that, was he? That money?

SPEAKER_03 38:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 38:22

So and then only gave back to the five. Did he do half of her earnings? Oh god. But the last bit of the article was so funny. It was like Chupette's fall from grace is an undeniable tragedy. Everyone who knew her in her prime is a woman. Will justice be served for her? So will justice be served? I guess we'll find out. I mean, as you know, like I'm not a big cat person, like obviously I've been converted from the kitten, but um, yeah, I think that's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_03 38:56

I think they should release the funds, give them to um someone else.

SPEAKER_05 39:01

Me. Yeah, we'll take it. I'll take it. Would you ever leave money to an animal? No, no, no. I hope I would outlive my animals. Yeah, that's that's yeah, hopefully. How long do cats live though? Um, like it can be like 18 years. That's a long time. That's a long time. I think within dogs, I think dogs it's average like 14. Yeah, I think the average is less than that, but you can get old cats. But I think, yeah, like 14 to 16 is probably like more normal. Okay, I love that. Love that for them. I think they get less issues than dogs though, so sad.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

I always feel so sad for dogs.

SPEAKER_05 39:40

In general. Yeah. Why?

SPEAKER_01 39:42

Because I just feel like I know they've become domesticated and all of that kind of stuff, but I feel like nine out of ten dogs are not living their best lives. Like they should be roaming free in a forest.

SPEAKER_05 39:53

Do you know what I mean? And instead they're like stuck in a sort of basic. They do also love like yeah, true. But they do also love human companionship, yeah, they do more than a cat. Like, I've been more like that about a cat. Like, I'm like, cats are wilder to me than dogs. Yeah, no, I think you're right, actually.

SPEAKER_01 40:10

My parents they are moving to Italy on Monday. Um, they had to get my dog a pass.

unknown 40:16

Did they?

SPEAKER_06 40:16

Yeah, I was like, that is so cute. Louis has a ball, he has a little passport, but bless him.

SPEAKER_05 40:22

I think he's gonna literally, I think he's gonna keel over from Astatta when he arrives. Has he been to Italy before? No, he's never been, he's never left the country. Also, there's wolves. Of course he has there's actual wolves in the garden. He's gonna literally have a time of his life. No, I he's become such a grumpy man. Yeah, I think he's gonna be sat there quaking in his boots. He's gonna be like fuffing Pomeranian vibrating. There are some kind of scary dogs around there. Yeah, there's actual wolves.

SPEAKER_01 40:52

Um, but I am quite jealous. I would love to be like especially not right now, but I'd love to like have an Aperol and like just chat or you did that last year. I know I I did it yesterday as well. Like, what am I talking about?

SPEAKER_05 41:06

Okay, but I thought I was losing steam. So not anything you want to go. I just want to like ask you a couple of questions. I thought you had an A24 movie you wanted to talk about.

SPEAKER_06 41:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 41:19

Well, guys, there's an A24 movie called Backrooms that's out, and um, basically the director is a YouTuber and he's 20 years old, and um, they basically made it for 10 million quid. Um, and it's made like 86 million. What is that? Well, this is where I this is where my research starts. So it's called Backrooms, and it's got them that amazing woman from Sentimental Value. What's her name, Brahata? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something. Love her, what's it? Love her. So she's in it, um, which to be fair, I'd watch it for her. For sure. But it's the biggest grossing A24 movie, like complete shock out of nowhere. This fucking 20-year-old, he'd only ever made films on YouTube, but he makes films about these things called backrooms, which okay, we're not chronically online, but the Gen Z's will know this. Backrooms are basically like liminal spaces, you know, like a door that you see on the street and like it leads to a random like room. Like a house. Okay, I can't I to be honest, I don't really understand it, but it's like do you mean like liminal spaces? Do you mean like a like when there's like a random door in a house but it doesn't lead anywhere? Like that's kind of yeah. Okay, let me look this up. Backroom internet. So it's like an internet urban legend that describes an endless maze of empty, humming office spaces with damp yellow walls and old okay, but that's quite specific. An old carpet. So is dating you kind of like spaces that don't really lead anywhere. Like it's not like you go from into a front door into a house, it's like you go, like there's like a like with two boomer down. Yeah, something is over my head. So it's basically just like empty places that have a creepy vibe. Okay. Yeah, so the film is basically about this back room, it's like a horror. Oh, okay. It's a horror of yeah, not I don't know if we can I don't know if I can hack that. My friend sent me a um doc that she watched, she was like, it was really fucked up, the mother of all cons, and she was like, It's so fucked up. And I was like, that sounds like it's gonna dysregulate my nervous system, so I don't know if I'm gonna watch it. And she was like, it's not actually scary, it's just like really crazy. And I was like, okay. That to me is worse, I sometimes find. Like when it's when it's no, I'd rather it be not scary. Do you think hate scary sounds? Yeah, I know, I know it's same, same, same, same. I like the idea of it. Do you remember when I'm I mean, like, I can't, I'm still scared to go to Whitechapel after listening to the Jack the Ripper series. We need to get over this whole Jack the Ripper thing. She's been banging on about Jack the Ripper for so long. I'm telling you, it was creepy as fuck. And you know, some of his victims were literally found outside the current entrance of Whitechapel station with their entrails hanging out. That blood's probably still on the fucking floor, I'm telling you. Wait, something crazy did happen that someone sent us the other day there's a statue in Crystal Palace Park that they found a note with some coins underneath it, and it was like a note to someone being like bet on some like a horse called Christmas Day or something like that. And weirdly, they found this note, and there's literally a horse race coming up, and there's a horse called Christmas Day or something. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Should we bet on Christmas Day? I will, I guess we have to.

SPEAKER_06 44:34

After last of the glove cat.

SPEAKER_05 44:38

Oh my god, should we bet? Yeah, I need I can't remember what the story is completely, but um who found it? A construction worker has found a time capsule from 1964 featuring four old English coins and a spooky letter telling him to use the money for a horse racing bet. Um, oh, a horse named Santa Claus in the Epsom Derby, and that its finder should use it to bet on a horse with a name that could be associated with Santa Claus. Unbelievably, there is a horse in this year's derby called Christmas Day. Yeah. Um this Sunday. Oh, is it Saturday? Oh, shit. Oh my god, let's have a look. But it was discovered by a guy, a construction worker called I don't know how you pronounce it, Krakian. Um, but he was like, I'm Romanian, and Krakian in Romanian means Christmas. How crazy is that? Yeah, that's fucking crazy. That's like universe. Okay, I think we need to bet on this. We might bet on a horse, TPC. Okay, we'll come back to you guys. Um, love you guys. So I think are we going? Because we Oh right.

unknown 45:37

Sorry.

SPEAKER_05 45:38

I don't know. No, I think we should because we've got things to do. Like we've got horses to bat on. Also, uh also we've been chatting absolute shit. I think actually I'm probably um quite hung over because we are hung over. I'm sounding insane. Wait, okay, I just want to end. We're gonna end it on a quick fire question for you. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah, we've also lost our recommendation segment, but I think we have we didn't have it. Or we did, but we just never watched them. Do you know what I recommend? The Cleco. Yeah. Okay, quickfire. Okay, what is your favourite colour? Pink. Oh. What is the name of your favourite? What is the name of your favourite? Um I thought she had these prepared character, book character Belle. No, not there, it's just because it's in the forefront of my mind. Fine. What's your favourite book? Uh Little Mermaid. Oh my god, Lord. What is that? Is that Jenny Noel? If you had to get any plastic surgery, which would it be? Um lips. Okay, okay, not quite surgery, but all right. Um, we'll let it slide. What country do you most want to visit? Visit. I've never been quite before. Um Sweden. Who do you hate most? Quick Juliana. Right, on that and I know.