10. Honeymoon PDA, Social Media Bans & Birthday Drinks

This week is pure, beautiful chaos.

With Hannah away on set, Juliana is joined by returning favourite Florence Armstrong and stylist (and certified superfan) Gary David Moore for an episode fuelled by birthday drinks, zero preparation, and plenty of tangents.

Fresh from Paris, Juliana recaps Paris Fashion Week, Fête de la Musique, a birthday getaway, and escaping the heatwave to rural Italy (where the cicadas are very much stealing the show).

Along the way, the trio dive into Taylor Swift wedding theories, social media bans for under-16s, Mormons vs Amish, Japan, capybaras, nostalgic social media, Tudor history, and whatever else their ADHD brains decide to latch onto.

It's messy, hilarious, slightly unhinged, and exactly the kind of catch-up you'd expect from three friends drinking before a night out.

New episodes every Tuesday.

⭐ If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to rate, review and share the podcast—it really helps us grow.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:01

Welcome back to the No Country for Hot Girls podcast. It's been a minute. I know that we're running a little bit late this week, and I'm very, very sorry I hold my hands up. It's very much my fault. I've been spawning around town. But yeah, I hope everyone's okay. I know that we're having a little bit of a heat wave, um, although it kind of feels like the end of times, but I hope that everyone's moisturized, hydrated, and slathered in fact 50 and frolicking when frolicking is possible. Also, you might be able to hear this. There's some sound effects this week. I'm currently recording this from Italy in the middle of nowhere, and you can probably hear really, really aggressive cicada outside. Um, can you hear that? Yeah, so that is what that is. Apparently, they make that noise when they're shagging. If that's the case, then these guys are having a great time. Because it's just getting louder and louder. But anyway. This episode, we kind of mentioned briefly how I had a drink thing on Friday and then I flew to Paris Fashion Week. Sorry, why am I trying to make myself sound chic? It was Paris Fashion Week. I wasn't flying to Paris Fashion Week. Me and Madonna were heading to Paris for Fashion Week. Um, no, Flo, who is on this podcast, she's my housemate, she is a stylist as we discuss. And she was going to Paris for Fashion Week, and I decided to scrape in. And it's my birthday on Sunday, so I thought, why the fuck not? Also, on Saturday night. Sorry, I'm getting this completely wrong. My birthday was on Monday. Jeez, the time's going really weirdly. But on Sunday, there's this Parisian, I guess it's like carnival, um, called Fete de la Musique, which is essentially just Parisian carnival, but I guess it's to celebrate the summer solstice on the 21st. Every single bar has its own little sound system, every shop has someone outside making apparols and beers, every road has a little throng of people dancing to different music, like whether it's reggae or techno, drum and bass. It was so cool, and also I'm obsessed with Paris. Everyone is just so hot, I can't even get over it. I know I sound like I'm in a Jacqueline Wilson novel everywhere I go. Anger's thongs and perfect snogging, but in all seriousness, guys, everyone was gorgeous, and I was perturbed because I was melting into the ground and had puffed up double the size due to the heat. I mean, London's been bad, but guys, Paris was like like 40 42 degrees or something like that. Yeah, it was a lot. Everyone was like jumping in the seine, people were literally jumping off the bridges, just literally fully closed in their trainers, like shoes, everything. But I have gone on from Paris to Italy where my parents live, and I'm staying with them at the moment, and that's why the circades are blossoming your rear drums out. But been here for a couple of days, haven't left my bedroom. So I think there was one other thing I wanted to just do. Oh, yeah, Charlie XEX's new song, Wink Wink. Oh my god, guys, it's so good. I'm literally fucking obsessed. But anyone who hasn't watched it, please watch it, please listen to it. It's so good. I really cannot get over the evolution of her craft. She was also in Paris smoking cigars with Madonna. Um, so back to the episode. Buckle up because it's quite ADHD. So you might want to take a beta blocker, you might want to take some C B D drops because it could stress you out. Hannah wasn't around this week because she's working very, very, very hard on a very important shoot because she's a high-flying bitch. So yeah, we've got two very special guests. We've got a returning guest, Florence Armstrong, aka my long-suffering housemate and super fan of the show, Gary David Moore, aka G D M, as he likes to be known. I'm joking. But he's an incredible stylist. And he is a very, very big fan of the show. So we are also fans of his. So we're having a very rambling chat today, and the topics are a bit loose this week, so please bear with. Um, if any of the chat about Mormonism or the Amish offends you, I'm extremely sorry. It was very much unintentional. I also had to take out a section where we talk about true crime and the best way to murder people, because I think that that was actually um something about inciting murder, which obviously I would never do. Also, we're drinking on the job, guys, so that adds to some of the chaos. But next week we're back to normal programming with Hannah Burls. So she will be back, we'll be recording, and the episode will be dropping on Tuesday as normal. Um, but yeah, stay classy. Ciao ciao. Hello. You've reached No Country for Hot Girls Podcast. We can't come to the phone right now. Because we have better things to do.

SPEAKER_04 5:12

Why?

SPEAKER_03 5:13

Okay, we're recording now.

SPEAKER_04 5:14

Oh wait, that's all of that wasn't recorded. Oh my god. Why wasn't it recorded?

SPEAKER_02 5:19

I don't know. I have no idea.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

Fine. This is the introduction. So this is a guest episode because Han cannot be here today. You can hear we are drinking on the job um and we're profusely sweating. It's a special episode because it's my birthday in an hour. Well, not in an hour, but the party. The well party, an event. An event.

SPEAKER_04 5:37

Is everyone who listens invited?

SPEAKER_03 5:39

Well, I'm not having a party or an event. It's just a very casual drink. Um, anyway, the point is this that we're doing this pre-that and we're drinking, which we've never done before, so I've never had a drink before. The rum springer.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

The rum springer.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

So I'm joined by Florence Armstrong, my gorgeous housemate who you guys have met, and the one and only GTM. David. GDM. Hello. He is a big fan of the show, and he's a big friend of the show. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:12

Actually, not as not as big a friend as Nikhil, who pays.

SPEAKER_03 6:16

Nikhil, he's a patron of the pod, so different categories. He means you need to step up. Okay, we're gonna have a bit of a different kind of episode today because we've done zero prep. But we're gonna ask a couple of questions. Round Robin, would you rather be Mormon or Amish? Mormon.

SPEAKER_04 6:32

Why? Because Amish people, it is literally like being a Victorian woman, and women have absolutely no rights. Whereas Mormon, there are so many branches, and you can be a Mormon and just be like us normal. Well, you'd have a great time.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

Being gay.

SPEAKER_03 6:45

I meant as a man.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

I meant with all men.

SPEAKER_04 6:48

You'd have all the power. Yum yum. Well, you do love a frock.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

But I actually don't know the complete difference between.

SPEAKER_04 6:59

Okay, shall I tell you? Go on then. Yeah. Okay, I don't know the hundred percent like proper terms, but Amish is more a cultural way of life. You have to live like you were in the 1800s. They're not allowed cars, they drive bugs. Yeah, they drive buggies. Have you not seen the postcards I've got upstairs? They have they so they drive buggies with horses, they make jams, all the women have to wear like pinafores, cover-up, the men, they wear like shirts and trousers and hats. They look like farmers from days of yore. So they live in mainly in Pennsylvania around that part of the US.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

Why is that?

SPEAKER_04 7:38

Because that's very close to where the they first came to America. The East Coast is where they first came, and I guess I don't know why, maybe because it's like farmland or whatever. I've never been and seen any Amish. But my sister went and she said that you go and you can like live with them and like hang out with them, and they're allowed to talk to you and all this, and you they like you buy their crafts and shit. No, but you they you buy their crafts and all that shit. Anyway, that's Amish. And then Mormonism is a form of Christianity that comes from the idea of the Book of Mormon. It was the idea that this guy, Prophet John, something, um, God came down and was like, this is the Book of Mormon, and there's a golden plate. It was this weird thing, it's really modern.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

Mormon was like harming.

SPEAKER_04 8:20

Well, yeah, everybody's like, because it's so modern. It's only in the last like 200 years or even less. Like, for example, the real housewives of Salt Lake City, lots of them are Mormons, but they're not Mormons in the way that we think of drinking and tragging. So, like Mormons are just more modern than you expect them to be, I think. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

So I think I would do that one.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

Yeah, I'm sorry, sure. I would be Mormon. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

They can drink. They can drink.

SPEAKER_04 8:46

But Amish, but Amish can drink. Amish can drink when they go on Rumspringer. Oh, Rumspringer. They do the rumspringer and then they don't come back. The majority of them come back.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

No way, because they must be so traumatised.

SPEAKER_04 8:58

The majority of them come back because they are like my life is with my family and everybody, and they do come back.

SPEAKER_03 9:03

I would quite like to do a rumspringer.

SPEAKER_04 9:05

I think we I feel like we've done every year. I think every summer. I mean, I've definitely roomspringered with both of y'all. So I don't know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_03 9:16

Although, guys, it's really hot and then dripping in sweat. Sat on my floor by the cat litter.

SPEAKER_04 9:23

Oh no, but then we've got this new cat litter that's not meant to not smell.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

I, for the record, I cannot smell it.

SPEAKER_04 9:29

Oh, thank you. Piss.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

No.

SPEAKER_04 9:31

No sweat. I can't smell it. Oh, the sweaty.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

No.

SPEAKER_04 9:34

No, but Gary, you don't, you're really not sweaty.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 9:38

We need to get down to nitty-gritty. So guys, Calamadura, obviously on their honeymoon. Have you seen?

SPEAKER_01 9:45

I have not.

SPEAKER_03 9:47

What? You haven't seen? No. Really? Have you not seen the PDA? It's quite straight. It's quite straight. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

It's not in my algorithm. I haven't seen it.

SPEAKER_04 9:56

His algorithm is just gaming and Japan where to go.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

And a lot of K-pop, but like a lot of this misnomer.

SPEAKER_03 10:04

Okay, well, okay. Well, mine's basically just Calum Town and massaging bizarre in a public shower. Oh, I haven't seen that yet. I mean, fair play to them. Fair play to them. I'm just really challenging.

SPEAKER_04 10:17

Fair play, but you know what? When you're married, maybe I want to be Amish, because I don't want to see that.

SPEAKER_03 10:21

You need to get much closer. Well, you do if like me and Flo just did a three-way kiss with you.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

I think I've become Amish. Would you call Lucas?

SPEAKER_04 10:31

Would you tell Lucas? Wait, have we kissed before?

SPEAKER_01 10:36

I don't think.

SPEAKER_04 10:37

No, we've never kissed. That would surely be really weird. You know, that's back in time when people would like kiss each other and it was weird. I never would kiss Gary.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

I can't imagine your energies colliding in a in an oral sense. Yeah, no, they've never known.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

Going back to the topic, did we love um Duolipa's hat?

SPEAKER_03 10:57

Well the scaparelli.

SPEAKER_04 10:59

I I didn't mind it, you know. Stupid. Like, you know, when musicians wear like leotards and like showgirl outfit sort of thing, but like sporty. And I think she should have gone for something a little bit more feminine because it would be more floaty and fun for the Italian weather. I don't know. And she's got that barbed wire tattoo that I just feel like it needs like needs an outing. It need no, she's no, got an outing, but it needs like an opposite, like something a bit more contrast. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 11:27

Nice. Um, okay, well, I was just gonna talk about them basically giving each other like over the boxes hand job. So basically, um over the boxes. Well, Juliana's wearing boxes right now.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

I did say, oh, uh new underwear. She said, No, these are my shorts.

SPEAKER_03 11:45

So basically, guys, for my birthday, which is this evening, I purchased a new pair of shorts from Mango, and I was like shorts is a big word. Okay, thank you. So I was like, okay, I think these are really cute. I literally tracked all the shorts. They are cute. I arrive home, I Flo arrives home and I'm like, What do you think of these new shorts? I'm gonna wear them tonight. And she literally looks at me up and down and goes, um it kind of looks like wearing pants um or pajamas. And I was like, Well, okay, I don't know, I don't know. Anyway, Gary then arrived. I'm wearing the fucking like pantaloons, whatever they are, and he walks through the door and he goes, Oh, yeah, they're your underwear. And I was like, Fuck you, fuck you, you've been in cahoots with this little shit bag.

SPEAKER_00 12:30

We might not be orally in cahoots blowing cahoots.

SPEAKER_03 12:34

Have you ever been not like other like cahoots? No. What do you mean? Like, have you ever, I don't know, like a boob or something? Oh probably. Probably, yeah. See them. No, that doesn't happen. Well, I don't think boobs are sexual. I know some men think they are, but like I don't feel like they're sexual.

SPEAKER_04 12:52

I think all straight men think they are. Some, yeah. But they think they're sexual, but I think you know what? I can enjoy a nice pair and be like, wow, that's good, that great form. Like, I love the way they're hanging.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

I don't even notice when I walk around topless because it's so asexual. Do you know what I mean? So then when like you get like people looking at you like what when when you know when you're doing your shopping.

SPEAKER_04 13:14

I did actually have that yesterday where people were looking at me in such a weird way that I truly had to check that I wasn't topless because I was like, why is everyone like like not in a good everyone was like smells? I don't know, maybe. I mean I've been smelling at the moment, like recently, but it's because I've famously been smelling, and so has Juliana because we were using natural deodorant, and I'm sorry everyone. It looked really good, eucalyptus. And when I first put it on, I went, Oh Juliana, this is so good. And then by day three, oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 13:42

Yeah, guys, honestly, uh like me and Flo were comparing onion scents by day three. Yeah, it's really weird. Does that mean you want?

SPEAKER_01 13:50

Like spring onion, yeah, literally.

SPEAKER_04 13:52

A bit of a leak. Talking of leaks, you had some people talking about leeks in in Japan recently.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

Yeah. I don't know if I want to insult an entire country on the pod. Americans um Oh no, it's yeah, it was about Americans.

SPEAKER_04 14:06

Americans didn't know what a leak was. What is it? A piss?

unknown 14:10

No.

SPEAKER_04 14:10

No, a leak, like the huge thing that you had that that fruit adventure. So a leak.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

I was in Japan and the only I'm gonna offend the whole nation.

SPEAKER_04 14:21

I don't think this is bad.

SPEAKER_03 14:23

But not knowing the only Yeah, I wouldn't say it's the worst thing you could call Americans. Do you not know?

SPEAKER_01 14:28

The only bad thing about Japan is the American tourists.

SPEAKER_04 14:31

Too many of them, too many.

SPEAKER_01 14:33

Too many, and so loud in a country full of customs and quietness. And we were in a a restaurant, a Gyoza restaurant, and two Americans were next to us and waffling away at full volume. One said, Oh, there's there's one with pork and leek, and the other one said, What's league? Yeah. And I was like, You fucking stupid people.

SPEAKER_04 15:00

I wasn't I was like, maybe they call it something else, but I don't know if that's true at all.

SPEAKER_01 15:04

I don't mind offending them. Be more quiet, please.

SPEAKER_04 15:06

Yeah, be more be more considerate of others.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

Yeah, and other cultures.

SPEAKER_03 15:10

Yeah, 100%. Also, get to know your root vegetables. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 15:13

Also, like if you go to Wales, you should not ever say that because they love leakers. Well, I don't think they're gonna be going to Wales.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

I love leeks.

SPEAKER_04 15:19

I love them. I actually know. No, but you should have seen them. I couldn't smell it. She rubbed it all over you. That leek that Juliana had, it was this long and it was I'm not so girthy thick and it was bizarre. She just walked in with it, and I was like, she's like, I just found this leek.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

What did you mean?

SPEAKER_03 15:37

Basically, I bought a leek the other day and I pulled it out from the tray and it was basically the size of my leg, but I had man-handled it, so I couldn't return it, so I basically had to leave it, leave store with with said leek. Um, and that was it, really. That's the story.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

What did you make with it?

SPEAKER_03 15:55

I had put it in several things. I had a little omelette today with a little leek. Then I had a chicken dish. A chicken dish with leek. Um, I'm a big leek fan. Oh, a bean dish with leek.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 16:07

Are you a big fan of beans?

SPEAKER_04 16:11

What'd you make? What'd you have last night?

SPEAKER_01 16:13

I mean, I was in France last night.

SPEAKER_04 16:15

Oh, really hot?

SPEAKER_01 16:18

It was really hot, like 33 degrees, in a beautiful villa. Had oh, don't know, it sounds very privileged.

SPEAKER_04 16:28

I was working.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

I was working and we stayed in a nice villa and the lovely woman.

SPEAKER_04 16:33

You stayed in the villa that you shot in.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Yeah, yeah, and they she cooked every meal for uh What was she cooking? It was all mainly vegetarian, um, but like only local ingredients, and like it was just amazing.

SPEAKER_04 16:45

Where was it?

SPEAKER_01 16:46

It was in a town called Lagamas in the south of France.

SPEAKER_04 16:51

Oh gosh. Like call call me by your name Villa.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

It was very, very long.

SPEAKER_03 16:55

Yeah. So cool. Also, don't you think it's so funny? So, like, there was a picture. Did you see the pictures of them city biking around New York? He literally looked at the biggest. Did you see that?

SPEAKER_01 17:06

So I've I've been basically travelling for a month. I I'm a bit behind on my culture digest.

SPEAKER_03 17:13

Okay. Gary went to Japan for work but also for a holiday. And he has returned um laden with gifts. Laden with gifts, but also potentially buying for a Japanese citizenship.

SPEAKER_04 17:25

Yeah, Gary wants to move to Japan.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Oh, is that what you took? I mean, I would love to.

SPEAKER_03 17:30

No, we were joking because I was joking that every single person who goes to Japan makes it their personality, and Gary was saying he'd refuse to do that. But I can see it in him behind the eye.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

Everyone needs to go except the American tourists. Do you have a big audience in America?

SPEAKER_03 17:45

Um, I think we've got a couple listeners.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 17:50

You know what you were doing. They know your email, so. Oh no, they don't, because that got cut out. Um okay. The next thing that we want to talk about is social media. So you're chronically online, you are less online. Yeah, I'm very analogue. Everybody jokes that I can't use my computer. Well, Flo was like, to be fair, you're not as bad as my sister. My sister was like, if I forward an email, do they do they see?

SPEAKER_04 18:14

And I was like, No, no, I was thinking you just have a email. No, but I do worry about that. Like you never know. No, I was listening to a podcast the other day, True Crime, and it was about this person who was, you know, stalking and doing some crazy shit. But they had red receipts on their email. But I don't I've never seen that, and I wonder, I don't think you would have to notify people because the people who were getting it didn't know, and then they when the court case came through, they saw that she had had those. So what are you saying? So so when you send an email, so she was stalking this guy, and when she was when she'd send the email, he wouldn't reply, but she could see that he'd read it and read it and sent and read it and sent it, and like so is that a thing?

SPEAKER_03 19:00

No, it's not like an app that she has. It's not a thing, it's not a thing.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

I think it's also okay to ignore people on email.

SPEAKER_04 19:06

Exactly. I've been ignored a lot this week.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

There's other ways they can contact you if it's if they really want to.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

They can rattle tat on the door. That's like Simon Cow, he's like, he hasn't got an email. And what is it? He hasn't got an email address. I don't think he has a phone, that's it. He doesn't have a phone, he doesn't have an email address, and he's like, if they really want to contact me, they'll come. And apparently they do. I would love that. If I could do that and not basically end up being alone forever.

SPEAKER_04 19:32

I would say that the only way that he has that is because he has people that deal with his exactly. I mean, Giliana, Giliana was doing the 90s um when she put her phone away for a while and she'd put it up, I put it above the fridge, and then she was like, Okay, good place. And then every now and then I'd see her on the chair just checking, so just in case. I'm like, babe, it's been three hours.

SPEAKER_03 19:50

Like, stop out of me. Anyway, um, anyway, right, so under 16s have basically been banned from social media. What do we think? I saw this really funny TikTok of this girl. She was being interviewed, I think it was by like BBC, and she they were like, so like your um that's not a good one. Yeah, didn't she say something? She was like, um, so your screen time is like nine hours. What do you think about it? Gary's Gary's time.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

It's not.

SPEAKER_03 20:17

What's your screen time? And then she was like, I guess I'll just be staring at the wall. I don't know. I'm like, that's what we did. Stare at the fucking wall and make shit up in your head. Play outside. Now we're all in therapy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

I think it's really good. I think my screen time is about five and a half hours. I hope it's that bad.

SPEAKER_04 20:40

I thought it would be like eight.

SPEAKER_03 20:43

Well, I mean, that's a whole day, surely not.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

People's are.

SPEAKER_04 20:48

People. Unnamed people are who no one. But Ronald McPherson. Ronald McDonald. Ronald McDonald. Well, he's yeah, but he's got a lot of work to do.

SPEAKER_01 20:59

But I think it's good. That I think the badness.

SPEAKER_04 21:02

Yeah, because you've got nieces and nephews. Yeah. What how does that work for them now?

SPEAKER_01 21:07

Well, one of them doesn't really care.

SPEAKER_04 21:09

Does it work in Northern Ireland?

SPEAKER_01 21:11

Um, I assume so if it's the UK. One of them is on an iPad a lot, but isn't on social media really. She's on well, that person is on Roblox and things like that. But I think it's good.

SPEAKER_04 21:26

I don't think Can she is she allowed to connect to other people on those games?

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 21:33

So that is social media, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

Yeah, but I don't know if that'll be included.

SPEAKER_03 21:38

I used to do like I'm sorry, but not being funny, I deleted my Facebook the other day. Did you ful fully? Fully.

SPEAKER_04 21:43

Did you download the images? No.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

Mine was was deleted without apparently I did something that I have no idea. My whole Facebook hate crime. Yeah, I was banned from Facebook. I was kind of fine with it.

SPEAKER_04 21:58

I was banned from vintage.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

It's not the same thing. I don't need I don't need it to be public every single thing I said at the age of 14 when I'm a 32-year-old professional. So everyone was fraping each other. Oh my god, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

Yeah, what was a frap?

SPEAKER_04 22:15

You'd go on someone's face and we'd be. But it's just so weird that we even would say that.

SPEAKER_03 22:18

Now we would never even dream. I used to do that to my mum all the time. Actually, this is a side note. I used to do it to my mum all the time, and like obviously she'd never. Oh, you'd vape your mum. Yeah, so I'd vape my mum's. I must have been like what, like 16? And it was really funny. She'd never checked it, so she didn't know what was going on. So we'd take her phone and we me and my sisters would change her status. And I'll. Every like a few days we would change it to like I wish I was a snail. To this day, that's still on her face.

SPEAKER_04 22:46

And her friends who she grew up with, who she reconnected with. Like Samantha Jones liked it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:53

But it would be like in another day, it'd be like, oh my gosh, I fancied some toast. That's quite that's really funny. But then, guys, this one time I took it too far. That's not like you. It's very like me. I took her phone, not on Facebook, but I texted this French teacher. My mum's a teacher, who basically looked exactly like Edna from The Incredibles. Exactly. Wow. So she was a French teacher at my mum's school. Anyway, I texted off my mum's phone saying. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 23:28

Oh my god. My mum was. Alex, if you're listening, I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

She was livid.

SPEAKER_03 23:34

Of course she was. Because obviously fucking Lady Marmay had just come out. Yeah. But did did Madam reply like mercy? I think she was like Alex question mark. Like she was a bit like and your mum just replies, frape X. Wasn't me. New number, who does? Were you BBMing?

SPEAKER_01 23:54

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:55

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:56

Oh, and you know when you could see Bebo, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

My journey was Bebo MySpace. No, Bebo was before MySpace.

SPEAKER_04 24:03

Oh, for us, we never have we didn't really do MySpace, it was a little bit older, but it was like a music thing. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:09

No, you're just a bit too young. Yeah. But it was like the original. It was the best, to be honest.

SPEAKER_03 24:14

So what was your name? Do you remember?

SPEAKER_01 24:17

Probably My Name. Call me by your name. And you could like customize your your page. But on MySpace. You would be doing like coding. Everyone suddenly knew coding and you would play. Yeah, you had to use HTML coding to like change your background and everyone had played music when you went on their Ph you chose a song. Yeah, yeah, didn't you have top friends?

SPEAKER_04 24:43

But in um but in Bebo, you had your like top ten friends. But was it the same in MySpace?

SPEAKER_01 24:49

Yeah, MySpace copied that from Bebo, I think.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

No, I think Bebo must have copied from MySpace. I feel like MySpace is older than Bebo. I don't know. So you had both at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

No, I had Bebo before MySpace.

SPEAKER_03 25:00

He was getting invited to LA to game salads. This man knows. They don't know that story. Bottle two. We're in bottle two and we haven't even made it to the bar, so I feel like tonight's gonna be um a slippery top.

SPEAKER_01 25:11

Anyway, sorry, kind of. It's gonna be a great time.

SPEAKER_03 25:14

This is Rumspringer!

SPEAKER_04 25:15

Um Okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

The listeners won't actually know that story because um I told it all before you pressed pressed the cord.

SPEAKER_04 25:23

What about what yeah, I did the whole thing I do? A whole back-to-back what it the whole like backstory on Amish and women the best.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

No, no, no, that was for this one.

SPEAKER_04 25:33

Was it?

SPEAKER_01 25:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:34

Oh. Oh sorry. Guys, it's really interesting, but you guys are just teasing me, or so me.

SPEAKER_03 25:40

She's very, very knowledgeable about the Amish in the morning.

SPEAKER_04 25:44

I mean, I'm not saying I am, but I'm also like, it's my only thing I ever like think about and listen to.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

But there you go, you're very passionate about it.

SPEAKER_04 25:50

Yeah, I am I'm passionate. I mean, just as passionate as so basically, Juliana's really judging. Do I need to talk about it again? No, I was saying what you were really passionate about. Juliana's really passionate about Lord Byron and like Hogarth. She loves that. Basically, that encapsulates the sort of thing that she is really fascinated in, which is little like sort of like sound bites of history going around. Not you know, like poop pooh, and this is a fact about history.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

And another another thing she's very into is Northern Ireland. The trouble.

SPEAKER_04 26:22

Oh and actually, um in part two, in part two of the podcast, Juliana will tell Gary about the troubles. You know what?

SPEAKER_03 26:32

You did fill him in.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

Actually know more about it than I do.

SPEAKER_03 26:34

Guys, you're you're trying to get me cancelled. Anyway, uh I couldn't know. I basically had the nerve of trying to explain the troubles to Gary, who is from Northern Ireland and was living at that time.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

Yeah, and but you knew more than I did.

SPEAKER_04 26:49

Yeah, he didn't actually know. He was too busy gaming, yeah, and being gay, pretty iconic.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

Cheers. Cheers.

SPEAKER_03 26:59

No, I did go through like a really big phase um with the troubles. Um there's some really good um documentaries about it. I just basically we have no idea. In England, we don't get taught about it. No, exactly. And I think that's really fucked up. But I don't think they get taught about it.

SPEAKER_01 27:17

No, not not well enough.

SPEAKER_04 27:19

Did you get taught about the Egyptians? Oh, that's all we get.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Big, big, big I I loved it. I've did many projects on there.

SPEAKER_04 27:28

What about did you get Tudors, Tudor chat?

SPEAKER_03 27:30

Not too much. We love the Tudors. Well, Flo is such a big fan of the Tudors that she has a Catherine Parr ceramic. I don't even know what it is. It's a mug, it's a it's a mug real size head. It's not real size, come on. Fine. It's a petite head of Catherine Parr.

SPEAKER_04 27:47

Catherine Parr, who is the the lone survivor of our King Henry VIII.

SPEAKER_03 27:51

Did you know that Catherine Parr um was like shagging someone else? Can't remember what that was. Sounds like her, to be fair. Oh no, it was the other woman, Catherine Howard. Oh, Catherine Howard.

SPEAKER_04 28:01

What's your favourite Henry VIII's wives? Catherine Parr, because she was like the one that got away. Do you know who my favourite is?

SPEAKER_03 28:08

Uh, Catherine Varrigan. Because he like Anna Cleves. Poor woman. She was so maligned. My sister looks like Anna Cleves. Oh, that is so mean.

SPEAKER_04 28:16

No, she's described as looking like a horse. That was her fake her painting. The one that was the pretty version that made him want to marry her. Maybe she looked like a horse. In the painting, in real life, she catfished him.

SPEAKER_01 28:26

Which sister?

SPEAKER_04 28:27

Tilly.

SPEAKER_03 28:28

Someone told her that once. Okay, Tilly, if you're listening, you look nothing like Anna Cleves. Anna Cleese is really pretty in the picture. Okay, guys, this is something I think about all the time. If you could live in any era, what era would you live in?

SPEAKER_01 28:40

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 28:43

I could do a 1700s, French Revolution.

SPEAKER_04 28:46

I know that's romanticised, but I think any time before now is romanticized. So I actually find myself quite hard to do.

SPEAKER_01 28:54

Do you think after having an iPhone that you could actually live in that time?

SPEAKER_04 28:59

Wait, do you go back and you're yourself now?

SPEAKER_01 29:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:02

Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

Oh no. Is it that?

SPEAKER_03 29:05

Well, we could be, could be that.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

Because I couldn't. I couldn't go back.

SPEAKER_03 29:08

You couldn't go back. But maybe, Gary, but maybe you'd be so like content with the world.

SPEAKER_04 29:14

No, because the world was so much more fucked. Like you're gay and we're women. Oh yeah. You wouldn't be able to do anything. What about this?

SPEAKER_03 29:21

You go back and you grab who would you grab? You grab loads of antibiotics for the journey. You're in the TARDIS. You grab all the antibiotics that you have, all the paracetamol, you steal, you rob the pharmacy, you bring it with you. You've got your aloe veras and your life.

SPEAKER_01 29:39

Everyone would just think you're a witch.

SPEAKER_04 29:41

Yeah, and then you get burnt alive, yeah, true. Not burnt, um, drowned.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

I think you know what, I'm fine here.

SPEAKER_04 29:47

Yeah, no, yeah. I'm fine, I think it's the best. I mean it's awful, but it's the best for everyone that we've got, really. But don't we feel like kind of a apocalypse thing at the moment?

SPEAKER_03 29:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

Yeah, but I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:59

Yeah. What do you think is gonna happen? Do you think it's gonna be like a huge tidal wave? Or do we think the crack opens up and we just fall into it, into hell?

SPEAKER_01 30:08

I think it's just gonna get hotter and hotter. And Gary loves that he and I love it. But I am definitely going to enjoy the next week of little work and very hot weather.

SPEAKER_04 30:20

Of the El Nino.

SPEAKER_01 30:21

I love a bit of El Nino.

SPEAKER_04 30:23

Yeah, it does. Yeah. That like that Latin spike. I mean. What about Taylor Swift's wedding? Okay, so last week. I know nothing about No, no, last week Juliana was talking about how Taylor Swift's wedding was going to be at Madison Square Garden, and she was like, I think that's actually true. And I was like, no, it's not. Anyway, obviously it's not. Have you seen in the last day? So I think actually yesterday they were outside her house in Rhode Island. They all the people who live there have seen that the lights have been on, and there's vi there's aerial footage of her best mate, who shout out to anyone who's the Swifty, um, Abigail, who she's known since she was 15, a song 15 is written about her. Um, Abigail's scene from drone footage holding her baby on the balcony and like laughing with someone else, and it turns out that they're having some sort of celebrations at the moment at her house, think it's bachelorette, and Travis Kelsey has been caught, not caught, but photographed with his lads going to like a club in Vegas. Not Vegas, no, LA. So I think they're having their bachelor and bachelorette. So I do actually think either next weekend or this weekend is gonna be the wedding, but it's not gonna be in Madison Square Garden. I think it's a good thing. I think if it's this 100% it's a ruse.

SPEAKER_01 31:42

Or that I'm quite lame. Yeah, it's really lame. It's so shit.

SPEAKER_04 31:46

There's just no way that she's gonna do that. I just I know my girl. I think that she's gonna get married in like a small ceremony and then have a big event if it has to be at Madison Square Garden. I thought it could be like a fan event, but Giuliana's like laughing at me about that.

SPEAKER_03 32:01

You're obviously not gonna be a fan of it actually.

SPEAKER_04 32:03

I love her fan early, like basically a fucking like a tour.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

She'd probably like get married every night or something and charge everyone.

SPEAKER_04 32:10

You also also Gary's pretending he doesn't like Taylor Swift, but actually he's kind of.

SPEAKER_01 32:14

I had a little fears with the when it whenever she tried to be Lana Daray. When? Those albums. And then the greatest contribution that she's ever done is the strange Brazilian version of um Ophelia that we heard in Brazil. Oh my god, it's so that's the best thing that she ever did, and she didn't really do that.

SPEAKER_03 32:35

Well, I never heard Ophelia.

SPEAKER_04 32:37

Well, you know what? It's not bad.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

It is a bad thing.

SPEAKER_03 32:41

Oh yeah. I don't think I would like it though.

SPEAKER_04 32:43

No, no, oh you would, it's so catchy. We went to Brazil for Lucas and Gary's like second wedding. We were on this boat trip that was meant to be like a turtle watching swimming boat trip. It turns out it was a boat party with um lots of families, and then the boat captain came out and sung a short set. Mm-hmm and danced. Yeah, and danced, and then some guy did some samba with a woman who works in the kitchen, but they were playing really loud music, and there was this song, and we were like, we know this, and then we realized that they'd translated Ophelia into Portuguese and done a whole um what remix like a funk. But it was a Brazilian funk like version. Very cool, but completely just the whole song just in Portuguese, and it was so good. And then we were like, wait, and so we looked up, we're like, is that legal? And apparently it's not legal, but they just keep them up. It was playing on the radio, like, and everyone on the boat was singing words, and it'd come out a week before.

SPEAKER_01 33:41

Until it gets taken down.

SPEAKER_03 33:42

Love that, and it was so good. Okay, so Gary's husband Lucas, who is another friend of the show, absolute gorgeous man. He's just Brazilian, you three, so Flo, Gary, and Lucas all went to Brazil for New Year, but they became obsessed with this very odd animal called um capybara. Capibara!

SPEAKER_01 34:03

Capibara.

SPEAKER_03 34:04

And it's so weird because I've never I've never heard the word capybara before in my life. But then this week I've heard the word capibara maybe like 170 times.

SPEAKER_04 34:14

Because we saw a capybara in Brazil, and then Gary and Lucas went to Japan and Korea, and there was loads of stuff like they're obsessed.

SPEAKER_01 34:21

Yeah, they're obsessed with capybáras.

SPEAKER_04 34:24

So we were talking about capybarays, and then Giuliana today was like, oh, the weirdest thing. Tell them what you Do you remember that like TV show?

SPEAKER_03 34:33

I can't remember what it was.

SPEAKER_04 34:34

Unorthodox, it was called.

SPEAKER_03 34:35

Unorthodox, actually. Do you remember? The hot guy from Unorthodox.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

The hot guy.

SPEAKER_03 34:39

Anyway, back in the day we followed each other. I don't know who he definitely doesn't follow me anymore, but I still follow him. He actually liked it.

SPEAKER_04 34:47

Yes. He did, and it was so fab. Because I I now remember after you mentioned it's there, I was like, I remember when Giuliana said that he followed her back.

SPEAKER_03 34:54

I was like, I'm gonna be back, and he liked some of my pictures and bikini book. But anyway, um but yesterday, so Flo was, you know, capabara this, capabara that. And then I ran on my phone. He had dedicated an entire reel to basically supporting and donating and sponsoring capabaras. So I was like, we need to send him.

SPEAKER_04 35:14

So we thought we would send him a um a message. A message from us in the capobara. Gary and Lucas brought me some really great gifts, mainly capabara gifts. But one of the best ones was this it's like a cuddly toy, but it's it speaks, and we thought that it would speak in Korean and say something, but it turns out that it just mimics what you say. So that's it. So I'm gonna try it for you right now.

SPEAKER_01 35:42

Maybe Juliana, do you have a message that you want to?

SPEAKER_03 35:45

Okay, okay. So we're gonna send him a mess. Am I sending from my profile? Yeah, because he doesn't know who we are. He doesn't know who I am.

SPEAKER_01 35:53

Well, he's been liking your bikini.

SPEAKER_04 35:54

Yeah, but like we'll put your bikini on.

SPEAKER_03 35:58

I don't think he wants to see that. What are we gonna say?

SPEAKER_04 36:00

Do you have to do you're also what oh my god, no. Five messages!

SPEAKER_03 36:05

Okay, guys, I've clicked on the messages, right? And no response, by the way, from him, just or me. So I have responded to one of his stories saying fit. How's it going? No response. I don't think I can send a cap bar.

SPEAKER_01 36:20

Absolutely. Oh my god. You've literally got nothing to lose.

SPEAKER_03 36:22

Come on, you've got absolutely baby, it's just a game.

SPEAKER_01 36:26

It's just a talking cup of bar, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 36:28

Yeah, come on. But how do you do that?

SPEAKER_04 36:30

Um, so you just message and you can only mess because you can send.

SPEAKER_03 36:35

Usually you can send it.

SPEAKER_04 36:37

I don't think I oh, because he probably unfollowed you. Oh, really? Because if he if he followed you, because that's when someone doesn't follow you, and then you have to invite them to chat and then they can see it and say that's okay.

SPEAKER_02 36:49

Do you know what this has turned out to be really quite sad?

SPEAKER_04 36:51

That's really embarrassing. That's really embarrassing.

SPEAKER_02 36:55

And he doesn't follow me, guys. Not only has that ruined my birthday, I've also Not only has that ruined my birthday, I've also taken a big thing.

SPEAKER_04 37:09

What I would say. What I would say is what you fucking say. What I would say is he was on one show once.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:16

And now he's posting about Capavara's point lane. True. So wait, why do we even get sorry, are you actually upset? No, I'm not upset. Baby, you okay?

SPEAKER_02 37:27

Do you want to lose the body? I need to have a second upstairs. But anyway, um, okay. Oh. Wrapping up.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

That's it. I thought it was a three-hour special.

SPEAKER_04 37:37

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 37:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 37:41

Unless the listeners want us back for more.

SPEAKER_04 37:43

Comment below if you want us back for more.

SPEAKER_03 37:46

Okay, enough of that. Love you guys.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Thank you. Bye.

SPEAKER_03 37:50

Bye. Bye. Bye.