Mindflow Radio #118: Real Talk on Screen Addiction

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Mindful Radio.

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Mindful Radio.

SPEAKER_01 0:03

She's Jay Lynn.

SPEAKER_00 0:04

And here's Monty.

SPEAKER_01 0:06

So buckle your seat belts and get ready to take a trip towards reality.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Are we there yet?

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Maybe.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

So we are in the mood to talk. Screen addiction. All right. It's important.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

It's an important subject.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

Yeah. You know, I think from my perspective, you know, I'm definitely, I definitely am addicted to screens. Yeah. I'm almost embarrassed to say it because actually in the late 80s, mid-80s, I just turned against the TV. I'm like, TV sucks, you know, TV brainwashes everybody. I just refuse to have a TV. Once I got on my own, you know, out in college and just had uh spent very, very little time watching TV from then on. And now I find myself addicted to this like little tiny screen that I hold in my hand. You know, and I it's like, whoa, it's like what's happened to me, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

It's really interesting.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

It is really interesting. But so from that perspective, I think really looking at screen time like a substance is is pretty real. It is super real, super real. You know, and it's a substance that many, many, many of us are highly addicted to.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

You know, many of us.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

We're talking uh the younger generations are growing up addicted to it. Yeah, they are. Like you're saying that a lot of people in the 80s, you were able to say no. You know, think about that with the little ones who really have no concept of anything but you know what's in front of them. Right. And I mean, I got a lot of things pushed back in front of them.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Back in the 80s, even.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Right.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

I mean, I remember in like a kind of a funny story. So uh living on the east side of Milwaukee, had an apartment with, you know, we had a female roommate and a guy roommate, there are three of us sharing this flat, and you know, she brought a TV in. I was like, oh no, you know, you know, I was like not happy because I just like the TV when it's on it, like dominates the area, you know, that vibration, that frequency, all that, just the flickering lights and the it dominates. And I was just like, no. So I put this, I found this sticker, kill your TV, and I put it on the front of the TV. You know, I didn't I didn't like permanently attach it, but okay, I put it on there and then just took it off. It was the it was the it was Kara's. She was my roommate. We're we were friends for sure. And uh, but then there was like a party at my place, and somebody, you know, somebody had like a bong, well, a water bong. And there there was like an ashtray on top of the TV, and he and he tried to like tap the water bong out, and like poured the water into the back of the TV, ruined the TV. That's hilarious. And Kara said I did it on purpose. Which I didn't do, but I had to pay for it.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

You might have conjured it.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Yeah, right. I mean, they conjured it.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

So that's my that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

Yeah, that's but here we are today, and here I am addicted to my phone. It's like WTF.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Yeah. For me, my my TV story is a little bit different because I was raised to only get to watch TV at certain times. So when I got old enough, I had Cartoon Network. And I'm the kind of person that can't handle much because I'm very sensitive to sound and visuals, so I can't watch horror movies or scary things or any of that stuff. It's just too overwhelming for my system. So cartoons became my addiction, you know, in my last years of high school and then as an adult. And there got to be this time where I would go to work and I'd come home and I just watch Cartoon Network, and I was like, wait a minute, there's something really wrong with the fact that I'm 19 and watching cartoons in all my spare moments, and I'm doing it from a completely zombie-eyed place. So I just stopped and I didn't ever start again until I got a smartphone. And I'm not watching cartoons, mind you, but I am, you know, I I love reels, I love the little kitties and poppies and spiders and just the anything cute. I can be very addicted to anything cute. And so it really kind of goes back to that image of myself as a young adult, and like, oh no, here it is again. What do I do? Yeah, right. How do I push back? And I am pushing back, don't get me wrong. I am pushing back. Um, well, I pay attention to my pickups.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

And what what what does that mean?

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Well, there's a on in your settings on your smartphone you can look at how many times you pick up your phone.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

So what what do you average?

SPEAKER_00 6:06

I'm in the 70s.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Okay, so a day. So you are you you're shooting for the 60s?

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Yeah, I'm shooting for something lower, if possible. I mean, I do do work on my phone, so it does kind of cause a good excuse to look at it. Yeah, right. But um yeah, I I'm really good at not looking at Facebook and Instagram for very long. So yeah, you can put limits on your phone. Um we don't have a TV and we don't watch movies, which I think is really funny for some people to know because the only time I watch a movie is on an airplane, and it's not that often I'm on an airplane. So yeah, I don't watch many movies, and um but there's still these tiny screens that are just so desireful.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Well, they call your name. I mean, for me, I'm when when I'm actively using, so when I'm not media fasting, I did and I do media fast regularly, I would say every week. I'm trying to to media fast, you know, a few days at least. But when I'm actively using, and when I if my mind becomes agitated, my hand just like grabs the phone. You know, it's really an interesting response. Grabs the phone and picks it up on its own, you know, like whoa, whoa, set it down, you know. So it's but that's just like an indicator of how it can settle my mind temporarily, but ultimately in the long run, it's like it's guaranteed if I sit there and scroll on Facebook for like 20 minutes, uh when I'm done, I'm gonna feel worse than when I started. You know, my mind feels dull and agitated and uninspired.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

And yeah, I think for me, I'm more like about once a week I'll let myself indulge. And it's it usually doesn't, it's not like I walk away going, oh, that was awesome. It's more like, oh man, that's too much. Why did I do that? You know, so I I can't say that I ever feel good about uh a scroll binge doom scrolling. Doom scrolling is such an interesting phenomenon of our present-day experience. You know, no other time in history that we know of. I mean, maybe in Atlantis, who knows? But from what we know of our history, there's never been a time where we've had so much entertainment and able to uh fuel our cravings at any moment.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

Right. I mean, in in these these phones and the the computers, they're they're great tools for us to use. And ultimately, my goal is for me to be able to use it rather than using me.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

Yeah. And that is a that's the goal for all of us, but a lot of us don't even know that that's the goal.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

Right, all right.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

But I mean, if you think about it back when it was flip phones first, you know, that was great. We could call each other. Oh, yeah. I mean, you know, I I was around in the day when you had to walk to a gas station if your car broke down and go to a payphone.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

Well, yeah, you know, it's amazing how we're able to we can talk to people across the globe and it's free, and you can taught you see their video at the same time. I mean, it's really it is amazing, and it's there's a lot of upsides to that. I mean, now we can live. I could be living anywhere and still be in contact with my friends regularly. It's like no problem. It's like still just connected and with my family, and that that's really incredible.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

It really is, it is awesome. And it's it's like this magical thing that I do believe if we don't find moderation could really end up being where we are responsible for harming ourselves with this tool. You're right. You know, because it's not that the tool is doing it, it's that our use of it is uh de I can't think of the word decom de evolving our brain. Or I don't know. I don't know what word I'm trying to find, but yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it's it could be a great tool, like you said. We can connect with people across the world, we can see them on a video. I mean, it's made long distance relationships a thing, you know, because people can almost be in the same room together, kind of, you know, and so it's it's really created the ability to be connected and uh really possible, and yet it has also caused great disconnection. Yeah. And it and I feel like we're at this place where we have this great tool, we're really struggling to find moderation and find a way to remember how to connect with people in person.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

Well, yeah, there's that. I mean, it's gonna well, the whole AI thing is gonna force us to really want to connect more in person because that's where we can really believe what we're hearing more and more. That's true. You know, I mean, so that that's happening, but it's true that the the the the computers and the AI included and the um cell phones, they could really help humanity, but they could wreck us too. They could destroy humanity.

SPEAKER_00 12:19

I think the way we use it can.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

Well, yeah. Well, right.

SPEAKER_00 12:24

Because I think that the two.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

So you're saying we we could wreck ourselves through not being moderate, yeah. Through letting it control us instead of us controlling it. Because there are forces that are behind like trying to control us, like algorithms and Facebook wants us to be addicted, and TikTok is literally made to keep you on the phone. Well, and you know, a lot of people are trying to sell you stuff on the and you know, politicians are trying to get their point across and all this stuff.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

It's the main marketing tool for all small businesses, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

I mean, for most, certainly, you know, and but if we if we don't get a handle on it, it could it could just wreck us. Yeah. And but my suggestion is to go on media fasts at the very least. I mean, just take days off of you know, Facebook and YouTube and media in general. And media fasting has been something I've been doing for I don't know, 15 years and on and off. And one thing I've learned is that when I go on a media fast, usually when I get back to the media, like not much has changed. You know, it's like I didn't miss much, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

I do also want to say that for people who are in charge of small businesses like me, yeah, it going on a three-day media fast would be very challenging. But what I'm trying to do is have better boundaries. And, you know, is it possible? And you gave me this idea actually, because I was thinking, is it possible for me to have better boundaries and say at 6 p.m., that's it, no more phone, no more computer. Yeah. And but what about my friends across the world? And you were like, well, what if you give yourself 10 minutes um, you know, a couple hours before bed to just touch base and and see if anyone's trying to get a hold of you. And I was like, oh, that is so clever, because then there's like a little bit of a loophole that says, ooh, I get to pick up my phone for 10 minutes. And you know, I think that being able to moderate yourself day to day gives you that basis to not need days off. Like you've said before, you know, the part of moderation is knowing when you've been excessive, so then you have to use the word abstinence. Abstinence.

SPEAKER_01 14:59

Abstain. Yeah, so excessive use should be followed by abstinence. But and like Lex Friedman said, you know, one of the he's one of my favorite podcasters from back in the day. But he said the hardest thing, he said it's easy to not look at Facebook at all, but the hard part is to look at it for 10 minutes a day. Well then I'm that's where I kind of good at it.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Yeah, well, you are then. But I for me, it's just draining. But I do, though. I do. And for me, it's like not so much about Facebook as it is I check my emails over and over and over. And usually nothing's changed.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

Okay, all right.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

And and I do the whole I have three emails and I check them all, and then I put it down, and then I pick it up and I check them all, and then I put it down.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

It's one thing, people in general, we like we like doing stuff.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

You know?

SPEAKER_00 15:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

It's like we just like whatever it is, we like doing it and staying busy and you know.

SPEAKER_00 15:58

Yeah, I mean, that in itself is a huge subject that we'll go into another time, probably. Because I feel like, yeah, feeling feeling into letting the universe move through me kind of means that I have space for the universe to move through me. Oh, right. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Well, that's it.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

So being busy all the time is actually keeping me from allowing the universe to move through me.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

Yeah, totally. I mean, for myself, I've noticed that when I can really take some space from the from the media, that it makes it much easier to get into the transcendental place where the mind is just more just connected with you know the divine of some sort, and life seem life just seems to be flowing and easier. Agreed. Agreed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

So yeah, I guess our our little challenge to you, dear listeners, would be to just notice. I love challenging people that I work with with tracking. Track whatever it is that's annoying to you, you know, whether it's what you're eating or if you're sleeping, if your sleep patterns are funny, track, track everything that is bothering you about your own life. And whether that be your dreams or, you know, so I'm going off track here, but the whole idea that I'm saying is if media, if your phone possibly is an addiction that you have not faced, track it. Track your use, track your moods, track what's going on inside of you, you know, track is there, is there like something that happens in your brain that makes you want to pick up your phone like me and you need that dopamine hit? Or, you know, what does it feel like after you put it down? And what does it feel like if you tell yourself no, I'm not gonna look at my phone right now? And just take a few days to track how does it feel to notice your relationship to your phone.

SPEAKER_01 18:21

Yeah. And what does it feel like if you're able to take 24 hours off of social media? Yeah. Or 48 hours or 36 hours, whatever it is, you know, just see what that feels like. And it's it's worth knowing. We we have all these days, we don't need every day to be the same. Right. As far as like checking the phone all day.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

You know, let's just take a break from it and just notice how it feels.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

Yeah, and it makes that what you just said makes me think of you know the tradition of Sundays being a holy day and you know, not watching TV or whatever, like back in the day, that's what it was for me. And okay. So is it possible to take a holy day one day a week? Yeah, that's cool. For me, I don't even know if it's possible, but could I be more moderate? It is possible. It is possible.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

It is absolutely possible.

SPEAKER_00 19:17

I can can you tell that I I kind of hooked on my phone.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

Is it probable? No, that's a that's a more realistic question.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Yeah, so um over the next week, I'm going to try to take a day off and have a holy day.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

We'll report back sometime.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

Yeah. We'll let you know what happens. That's good. And if you feel like getting a hold of us and letting us know how your MediaFast or your holy day goes, that would be great. You could get a hold of us at greetings at mindflowradio.life and leave us a message. If you have any comments or requests on subjects that we talk about, please let us know. And we will be back with you in another week.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Yep. And we have a free ebook on mindflowradio.life if you want to check it out. Yeah. How to find more peace. All right.

SPEAKER_00 20:12

Be well, y'all.