#102] Ariel Upton: Writing Letters To Yourself, 365 Day Commitment, + Volume Two (!) Of TIDIR

Ariel [@todayididitright], the founder of Today I Did It Right, is back on the podcast... catching up with Elisabeth on life in Sweden, intentions for the year, her approach on writing letters to herself, ++ of course, talking about doing it right ; ).

Notes:
-- Buy The Journal [Volume Two!]
-- No Rush November
-- About Ashtanga
-- Episode #73 With Ariel + Betsy: Finding A Guru, Journaling, + "Doing It Right"
-- Tracy Anderson Fitness
-- Book Rec: Big Magic

Transcript

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spk_0:   0:06
Hey, guys. Welcome to the charge podcast today. I had Ariel, the co founder of today. I did it right back on the podcast. I'm so excited to see you and hang out with you. And congrats on one year of today. I did it right.

spk_1:   0:23
Thank you. It's so fun to be back with you and chatting and we could talk all day. I can't believe a year I can't believe it's a year old, but also that it's only been

spk_0:   0:35
a year. Oh, my gosh. I know that feeling. Yeah. You came on the podcast in May, which was eight months ago. So I want to start with you just sharing some updates from the past eight months.

spk_1:   0:48
Yeah, I know that it was in may Be there when you put eight months against it. That qualifier. You can't believe how fast time has gone. So in the last eight months on the today, I didn't write side. We've held workshops around the world at a yoga retreat and Sweden, which is where I live. And that's actually how I really built my community. There was through this one today. I didn't write work shot. It's how I met my best friend there. The owner of the yoga studio is my dear, from all because of today did right. So she invited me in to do a workshop there. And that's how I really started building my community there. In the last eight months, I'm definitely found home abroad. Rather than feeling split between the states and being in Sweden like I am there, I'm home. The biggest thing is we launched volume to a few weeks ago. The journals. So Betsy and I spent the last few months going over feedback from Volume One and enhancing the book and redesigning it and feels different. It looks different, and I started a new full time job. In that time. I've traveled a bunch, but it's been a lot since May. Wow,

spk_0:   1:55
I actually was curious about your communication with, but sees. Obviously, you guys have this journal together, but then you are best friends. How often do you guys talk to each other? Almost every day,

spk_1:   2:05
There's a some communication so text. Sometimes we call email, mostly texts. But even if it's you know, I love sharing what I'm seeing with Betsy on a daily basis, So I share. You know, pictures, mostly of all of the gardens that I see in Sweden and in all of the flowers, because she's been really helping you learn how to garden from afar, which has been really fun. But yeah, we pretty much send a message, even just how are you today? I'm thinking of you or I've had this epiphany or this happened to me or this happened today. Did right almost every

spk_0:   2:35
day. That is so, so cool. Yeah, before we get all into today, I did it right. Volume two and more updates. I want to ask about goals and intentions. Do you set goals or intentions for the year?

spk_1:   2:49
I d'oh. So I have an exercise that I started a few years ago with my cousin, who she and I Every year we look at your head and it's really gold setting of what would we want to accomplish? And we were actually just together over Thanksgiving and talking about what our goals are going to be for the year. And when I think about them, I think about them on a higher level. So if you kind of bucket them, what are my professional goals? or some years is there's more emphasis on that. And then some years, none of my goal. It certainly it's my profession, but I do. I set this past year I didn't set any because my goal was to move to Sweden and, like, create a life there, and that was enough of a goal, and I felt overwhelmed by trying to have anything else. But this year, I'm very excited to set goals for the year and work through them. So can you tell us some goals I haven't finalized? I might have. The rest of my pillars are this is for sure gonna be a big professional focus year for me. I'm really engaged and learning and curious. Not only with just today I did a right, but with a new start up that I'm working with. And so what's the acronym? It's like big, hairy, scary ass skulls or something you're talking about. Week thought it was B hags, and I don't think that's it. But I'm gonna keep so I'm starting to envision, like, what would those be like, really surpassed, like my wildest desires? Not I want to grow 200% or something like that like much bigger than that. So those were the big ones haven't finalized them yet, but I'm starting to play around with them and another one is around physical activities. So because I'm moving so much, it's back and forth. It's really important for me. One like to get over jet lag, working out like the best way for me to do that. But just for myself in crazy schedules. I'm really good at it for periods of time, like I'm training for my first marathon in April. But then after that happens, I know what will happen. I'll stop doing it. So it's just like consistency. But I don't no what That message it's not like I have to do for one hour workouts or something like that is just how can I hold myself accountable there and then the other one is about following up. So I am guilty of not always being the best responder two messages because we get so many from all parts of our life every day. I don't know how many tax you think you get a day.

spk_0:   5:10
Oh my gosh. Actually, not that much. Probably like 25. 30. I saw is

spk_1:   5:17
it from 25 different people know a lot of. So what happens is I'll just look at something while I'm doing something else and I don't have time to reply because in between meetings or something like that, I need to not look. So that's like my goal is when I could have time to reply. That's when I look because of my look. And don't reply that I forgot. And so it's holding myself countless, isn't I? Other goals? How do I tighten that? My follow up with people. Mmm. You should do my no rush experiment seriously. How is no rush going?

spk_0:   5:54
It's going really, really well. Honestly, it's made me just so much more aware of my time on my phone and email. That's probably the biggest thing is I am now super aware, like the first week I stuck with and for those of you guys who don't know what we're talking about, Basically, I had a goal last month. No rush November where I couldn't texts. I couldn't look at my email or respond emails, of course, and I couldn't go on instagram until my three priorities of the day we're done and Those were mostly related to work, typically, and I stuck with it like crazy, like I was very, very strict. And then after that, I was a little bit more relaxed. But it just made me so much more aware of how much time I was spending kind of going in between. So that's something you could play around with.

spk_1:   6:41
No brush Sounds better than getting better about following up. So I like I like the best package. Just more. Yeah, that's exactly it is I'm doing. I'm communicating in these mixed times on, and digital communication is so important to me, I don't live in the same places. Most of the people that I really connected with S O. I need that. But doing it in between things or looking at it and not replying and then in the back of my mind, me like I had a reach back out to them. It's more stressful than it needs to pay. So I like that. No rush.

spk_0:   7:14
That's a really good point in terms of you are abroad and you are away from your friends. So a lot of these really are virtual friendships. Do you have any other routines that you have with your friends in terms of Skype calls or face times or anything like that. I

spk_1:   7:31
actually don't face time as much as I thought I would. Yeah, and I don't mind. I like facetime because I feel when I really looking at someone, you're having a real conversation, and it's so much more intimate than a phone call. But a lot of people don't like face timing. So even though I'm like it, a lot of people don't. I don't have any set routines other than I tryto work to other people's time zones like I have the gift of time. So living on European hours, I work largely us ours as well. Im seven hours ahead of Chicago. So I have an entire day before anything's happening in Chicago, which means I get all of my deep work done. I get to work out. I got to go the grocery store, got to go to yoga, do whatever during the day, have a break and then I'm ready to work again. And so because I'm in control of time like time is so much longer there because I get two days instead of one which is that's the hardest part about Being back here is being constrained to these normal working hours and commutes, and it is a lot. It's, I feel I remember this life Italy, and it's the thing that I really appreciate a lot about. Life in Sweden is this control of time. So when I'm communicating with people I know like when they're commuting, and so then I make sure, like if I want to get them on the phone, I call them then because they're always thinking that I'm doing something else. And so I try to match my schedule with theirs.

spk_0:   8:57
Yeah, it's a really good point. Let's talk about your fitness school. Yeah, so you want to find a routine after marathon training?

spk_1:   9:07
So my relationship with fitness is I get really into something, and then I love doing it, and my body feels so good and I sleep so much better and my mind doesn't raise so much. So all of the benefits outside of liking how I look physically and feeling good in my body, it's so good for my brain. Like all of those things that people say it's so true. But what will happen is like I did 1/2 iron man and I trained for, like, half a year for it. And then afterwards, then I kind of just like fall off. And then I get back onto something and then I fall off and it's even more difficult when I'm traveling so much because I've come back to the States. All have come back eight times this year. Wow, which is a lot, which is I love it Like I I love airports. I love packing. I love the only person that loves airplanes. It's so fun. I love watching people. My thing about traveling, and the more I do it is something is going to go wrong. You're gonna have delayed fights and you just have to have fun with it. Like the second you step foot at the airport is when the travel begins. It's not when you get to the destination, so you've got to be on board for whatever is happening in the room, right? And so, yeah, I love how it's exciting. It feels, and being in a new place and watching all the people traveling and wonder where they're going. But back to fitness, it's you know your body is like adjusting to the time zone, and then you're on a different schedule, and it's the first thing that falls off. And so I know in 2020 I'm gonna be moving around a lot. So how do I take movement with me? So this is the first trip. Have you heard of Tracy Anderson? Method?

spk_0:   10:47
I have heard of it, but I've never done it.

spk_1:   10:49
I'm sealing and wow. So anyone who doesn't know Tracy Anderson method is Go look at it and it's a It's an online studio that you do at home, and all you need are £3 hand weights and ankle weights. Feels very nineties fit at home fitness. But it is honestly amazing. It's so fun. You're like dancing and muscles are emerging that I've never seen before. What? Yeah, because she it's all of these like micro movements. So it's like your abs and your legs, and it's fun. You're like dancing around and because it's on my laptop and the beginners is 30 minutes. That has been a game changer this trip, So I've been here almost three weeks. I've worked out more on this three week trip than I ever have on a previous trip. That's so good. So just finding those things I can take with me, obviously running, I can do that. But that's I know that's what will happen to it. The marathon is old train train train for the marathon, but then, if I don't keep myself going, then I'll just like Oh yeah, yeah,

spk_0:   11:49
yeah, So it's more so. You need either something to train for or you need that daily commitment like you're talking about with Tracy Anderson. Yeah,

spk_1:   12:00
and because I can't go, You know, I have gyms that I could go to work at, but then it's a Here's Ben. There's more time to get there like

spk_0:   12:08
that's any on and it's like if you're going to a new location, you have no idea of the studios. Good or not, you don't know what instructors are. The bus,

spk_1:   12:15
right? You don't know. So that makes sense. So my cousin and I hope I do this with, like, her commitment, as she does four workouts a week, at least 20 minutes because she's a pallet on so she could do the 20 minute and if she doesn't or in Syria counts is too. So that's her and dustbin her goal for years. So I need something like that of that equivalent. But because with marathon training, it's kind of different, you know, because I'll be doing long runs and running a lot more, so I just need to have something. That specific sum will be some combination of Tracy and yoga running. But

spk_0:   12:48
you should get into a Shangla. Have you done it before? No. Okay, before you leave, well, you leave, I guess next week when you do a Shonda some time together, but they obviously we'll have it in Sweden. But it's a very specific yoga flow where it's the same anywhere you go and similar to bigger my guess where it's the same exact sequence. But I love it because now I know the flow, the formats amazing, and you can do it wherever you don't need an instructor, you know? Yeah, Next time I

spk_1:   13:17
come back, we're going. That's it. That is exactly what I need in my life, which I love, which is so unpredictable and all over the place. My physical self needs something that's very predictable and repeatable.

spk_0:   13:29
Perfect. Yea, all right, Let's talk about today. I did it right. Of course, we have an entire podcast episode on this, which I will definitely link up with the show notes. But can you just give a brief overview of the journal on the approach For those who haven't listened to the episode?

spk_1:   13:46
Absolutely so today I did it right is it's a movement. It's a way of living Betsy and I call it an approach, and it was founded by myself. And as Elizabeth mentioned, my life guru, a woman named Betsy Tomlinson and Betsy and I became friends when I was in my early twenties, and she was in her early sixties and we both realized I was transitioning out of college and into my first job and life after, you know, everything's planned for you up until you graduate college. And she was just finishing her career coming out and going into retirement was we were asking the question. How do we create lives that look and feel rightto us? And that one question we had ended up becoming a journal and a documented and approach, and we spent eight years writing and meeting and spending time together and just answering the question. How do we know if we've done it right? And we took dozens of notebook. I mean hundreds, hundreds of notebooks. I actually Betsy, never digging through them earlier this week and looking at our old emails printed out emails from 2013 of like sample intros to the book. So it's an approach which is broken into four focuses, which are self choice every day in connection. And then each of those have four subsections. And so the whole point is, how do you in your daily life, go to bed every day? Saying today I did it right and it could be something as small as having a conversation. So this today is dying art of conversation, which is under connection, and you and I have sat down and we've had a meaningful discussion, and that fills me up. And Betsy and I realized that any day we had a real conversation with someone. We did it right, and so whatever the conversation was about, we didn't know. But that is one way to do it right is you have a real conversation, and that's how we created the approach, and then because we're big writers, you know, we try to Blawg hated that thought we'd make a coffee table book, Didn't think anyone would read it. And we thought, People want to know how to do it right for themselves. And so that's why we created a journal. So it's a daily journal that you right in you pick one of the rights to reflect on. And it's a 365 day journal undated. He started any day, and I just finished the first time I've ever finished writing and everything. Something every day for a year. And, yeah, it's a self connection journal is what we call it and whether you know, you write in it or not the approaches once you start living in it, once you start thinking about it, you take it with you and you start evaluating your daily experiences against

spk_0:   16:16
it. I still cannot believe it took eight years. Oh, my gosh, That is amazing.

spk_1:   16:21
Yeah, it's you know, anyone who I talked to about the fact that it took so long to build a reference Elizabeth Gilbert big magic when she talks about how I interpreted this was ideas come to us, right? And they stay with us if they're meant to be ours, and creativity will move to someone else if it's meant to be someone else. If you're not doing anything with it today, I did it right. Was meant for about Sienna because it's our connection in our friendship and how we were able to over the last 10 years and moving forward, how we've processed the world together and it couldn't have been anyone else's idea. It was ours and I knew that. And that's why I never gave up on it because it's so much more than a product, right? It's so much more than something that we sell on an online store. It just for myself if I'm doing this like I'm living this beautiful relationship every single day. And so there was no way we could quit until we knew what it was gonna be because it was too good of an idea. Absolutely.

spk_0:   17:22
I literally have full body chills when you're talking about this and it is It's so true. You are living this you really are in. You're a fabulous writer. I love your instagram. Everyone needs to follow it today did it right. But I am curious about journaling. I realized I never asked you. When did you get into journaling? Have you always just loved writing or what did that look like when you were young?

spk_1:   17:46
I've always loved writing. If you go to my mom's house in the garage, which you would shield, listen to this and say You need to clean that out there. I have journals from elementary school. I really have to credit, like original teachers, that I had that specifically in third grade. Like we had a journal all the time. We had reflect all of the time, and I can visualize my journals now like what they look like. There's just like plaid one that I got an old Navy that I loved. I still see it in this room when I was 11 years old, so I always loved to write, and I always loved to sing. And so that was as a kid like I always loved to sing, and I sing now like music is like a hobby of mine, and writing songs is always something that I've been, and that's actually today. I didn't write came from a song lyric that I wrote when I was a freshman in college, so just not writing process. It just is a way for me to connect with my internal world. And it always has been, I don't know, you know, started before someone else taught me to do it. And it's evolved like I love writing. I had a meeting last night and I was meeting someone else at a bar and I, like, sat at the bar. I was like, Can I please have a pen? And I needed to write all these ideas in this meeting down on cocktail napkins. I just love processing life that way. Yeah, and it works for me and it helps me remember. It helps me connect with what's going on. It helps me appreciate things more deeply. It helped me process things, and journaling looks really different. Perfect example. I think a lot of people want to journal, and I talked to a lot of people who do, but they're really intimidated by what they put down on paper and that they have to write a lot or it has to be very meaningful or insightful. Some of my favorite today didn't write entries. Oh my gosh, I'm kicking myself. I didn't bring it because we could have, like, skipped two a day and like red or random one, they're so silly. Some of them like someone. Days like today I did a right Ah, flower I planted in my garden bloom today. You know, that's my own individual. Meaning because my garden is like my new favorite thing, right? But to someone else, Individual meaning, like they don't care about a garden, Right? So they're gonna write something else, and it could be a sentence. It could be a word. It just makes life not so fleeting, like you actually cemented in this earth rather than just in your mind. So that's how I view journaling and makes things riel. But then it also, you know, some people burn their journals like I don't do that. You know something? I don't even necessarily always go back and look at that. Yeah, but it's just that in that moment it's permanent and riel, And then I can move on to the next, and you always keep your journals. Yeah, Ideo. I have gone through journals I haven't finished like ripped pages out, but I've definitely kept all those pages so I might get rid of the actual physical thing. That's heavy, right? I did that a lot before moving Mari Kanda owed. My entire home is there is a lot of Vanilla Manila folder. So just have random journal pages on

spk_0:   20:41
the like I can't get rid of, you know? I

spk_1:   20:43
mean, I might need it one day. There might be just like the one thing I'm a pack rat

spk_0:   20:47
about. Oh, my gosh, It is so true, though. It makes you remember. Well, yeah, I think that is probably one of my favorite parts of journaling. That's crazy. How often our minds just forget what happened yesterday. You know,

spk_1:   21:02
absolutely. So right now I'm doing a project. So my best friend used to nanny for this toddler, and she's now in fifth grade, and she's doing a science fair project. And it's all about happiness and gratitude. 1/5 grader. First you started by filling out this form of like how happy you are or your happiness level. And then for 21 days, she's emailing us, asking us for 10 things were grateful for. I've never done gratitude journal like I've done other kinds, and it is so funny. I'm on day four and I'm going back and looking at what I'm saying. It's the same thing over and over again. But I would forget if I wasn't writing this down. I'm saying the same things like because Riley different variations of what I'm grateful for. But I forget I'm like a goldfish. It's like 24 hours later I forgot what I'm grateful for that I'm grateful for and they're the same. But how cool is this little girl? I mean, I like why? Yeah, so I mean the only on day four, but it helps you remember. It's

spk_0:   22:04
so funny that you said that because I found this journal from 2015 which was a year before I moved to Chicago, and I was looking through it is actually mostly a journal for two DUIs for charge had some gold pages, and they're like, literally the same goals that I have now, like literally all of them have to do with yoga and meditation and reading more self help books. And like only I change hilarious travel more like all these things I'm like, Yeah, I think it's like what we want. So great.

spk_1:   22:40
We want us people. We know what they are so back to intentions. Every year I write myself a letter on my birthday to read the next year. So that's like my guy starting. That is amazing. It is. If anyone wants thio, change their life, start that practice. I have a whole ritual about it. I have a glass of white wine and french fries, which was like my favorite meal. And then I write and I find a beautiful card throughout the year. Like I bought last year's months before is like That's my letter to my 32 year old self right there. And I started when I was 24 turning 25 I write the letter and then, naturally, what's come out of it is kind of like a mantra for the year. So I have. It's this manifesto of what it is, but it's all the same stuff that I read that following here and then somewhere in there was like this gold. Like I three goals, one was split. My time between Chicago and Europe Track today I didn't write is actually something check and then the 3rd 1 which was a total mind body soul wellness. I was like, That's not a thing like That's unachievable. Nice try 2016 Ariel. So two of three and

spk_0:   23:52
it happened. But if I hadn't written it down and set the

spk_1:   23:55
goal and don it I mean, I don't do things unless I set a goal for it. Like, things don't just happen in life, you know, as much as we all want them to, we all have to work for it and create a plan and do what needs to be done to get their life doesn't just happen, Thio.

spk_0:   24:12
Yeah, it doesn't. Yeah, I know. It really is about also understanding what you actually want. Like, I think we are just like we want everything. But we don't really know. What do we really want? Something that I always do is I write out my desires for the year and similar to you and like, I'm not even really looking at them at all. And then I find them probably like, three years later and I look back and I'm like, Oh, my gosh, yes, I did almost all of these things and it was funny. I was looking at one from. I think it was from last year and I wanted Thio do a two month of work away in a Hawaii. Okay, Haven't done it, but Isaac and I are going to Hawaii for three weeks. So pretty close enough. And it's like, Oh, my gosh, I didn't even realize that I had that goal a year and 1/2 ago, but it's somehow stayed in my mind cause I wrote it down. And now it's happening at the perfect time, right? Yeah, and oh, my gosh, what we want

spk_1:   25:09
doesn't happen when we want it. I'm always because we're impatient, right? Who doesn't have a desire and want it right now That's the most human

spk_0:   25:18
thing. But things take time. And that piece of what do we want that so much of the questions that Betsy and I asked

spk_1:   25:27
ourselves when we're first coming up with the approach of I was 22 years old and Betsy actually asked me that question. She's like, Ariel, What do you want for your life? Not What do my parents want for me? What did my boyfriend at the time one for me? What did my family want for me? What did. I think my family wanted for me what I want, but I didn't have the answer. But someone actually asked me the question and sometimes just asking the question. We don't even do that. We just get on the treadmill and just go. And if you actually ask yourself what you want and then you work towards it, it's like the highest chance you're gonna get it. So if you didn't ask yourself right or it would have the goal, I'm going to Hawaii and saying this is what I want. It's not gonna happen right away. You gotta get your business in order. You know, you have to get your life where it is. You have to have the financial means to do it. You have to have the freedom to do it. But you create all those things like you did that no one else did that. And you've built that life that looks right to you. And that was a year and 1/2 ago that you created that. But now you're going to go do

spk_0:   26:29
it. It's amazing. You know, I

spk_1:   26:32
was really proud of yourself. Thank eyes. Really?

spk_0:   26:36
Uh, okay. One more thing about your letter to yourself because I want to understand that so that I can do that. So when you're writing your letter, let's say Okay, so I'm turning 30. Yes, Year perfect time to start exactly new decade. Let's go. So I'm writing it and my writing it to my 31 year old self or my writing it through the lens of my 31 year old self. How do you do it? I read

spk_1:   27:01
it to my future self. So the 1st 1 I wrote because the whole theme around it's like, really powerful and I've been thinking about a lot was my message to my 25 year old self was protect your magic again. So it was all of these positive validations to myself of things that I needed to tell myself. And it's that long is like a small four by six card. My front, maybe half of the back was not along, but it just was I hoping this year you protect your magic. And so then it. When I went back and looked at it was like, Oh, that's was what I wanted for myself. I mean, you know, I forgot about it that I was surprised when I reopened it, but that's what I do is I kind of set, like I hope this year is you know, this and it's not They haven't been specific. They're not like, I hope you accomplish this and you get this job or yeah, you know, do this thing. It's much bigger than that. So some of that protect your magic. Always play is another one that I had another message was you built it now live in. So, like when you create a life that you're in, how do you actually live it once or once you set a goal and you've achieved it like how do you actually enjoy it? So that's another one. So that I do like a theme kind of.

spk_0:   28:14
I love the What was your theme for the last when you wrote you remember? I don't remember when your birthday,

spk_1:   28:21
September 18th. So but I'm not really Don't settle in and a couple years later, or like when I go back and re read it on, then I have a card where I like, kind of have pulled out all of the lines that I keep with all of the envelopes. Heather. Like my most treasured possessions. Yeah, it's It's such a gift. And I I would recommend everyone got rating exercise

spk_0:   28:45
E yeah, I'm doing it done, Done and done. Do you ever ask yourself or say to yourself, I should say today I didn't do it right or think about that, and if so, what does that look like? Yeah,

spk_1:   28:59
doing it right doesn't mean life is perfect. And doing it right doesn't mean things are always right. So they're definitely days when I've mess up or I've made mistakes or I'm just a really bad mood. And I'm really annoyed by everyone, or I don't act in a way that I'm proud of. You know that happens. But that's the challenge is how do you still find something? You do right and it's possible, like this summer. My dad passed away two years ago in the summer, just like this whole new wave of grief, of processing it and I had this week where I was so anxious and like I was crying all the time and I have felt really lost, and I knew that it was about grief. But each of those days I still could find one of the rights and, like, okay, giving people what they need. Like I'm giving myself what I need. I'm giving myself space to process this. Still doing it right. Intimacy sharing how I was feeling with my husband or my best friend like I'm still sharing the intimate parts myself. I'm still doing it right. And so that's every day for the last year since I created this journal, I found something even in the hardest, most annoying days that I'm still done. One thing, right.

spk_0:   30:13
Are you also journaling about the challenging times? Yeah,

spk_1:   30:18
and I honest about what it is. It's like I'm really sad today, but I'm expressing it, you know? And I'm feeling it. And I did this to, like, celebrate my dad today. But I'm really sad or some days I really break up. Everything's wrong today. I feel terrible. You know, my favorite one is there recently was giving myself what I need to was just physically felt like, really bad. And it was starting to get really dark. And Sweden and I really should go to yoga like I'm not going to yoga. I'm sitting here and I'm just gonna lay on the couch and read a book. But that's giving myself what I need, right? That's what I needed and recognizing. Like, I feel terrible right now. But I still did something that was good for me. So how much this approach has changed my life? If I had a day where I said not one right thing happened to me, I'm choosing that. Yeah, that's not reality. Right then. That's not being naive. That's not facing reality. That is a choice to say that everything is wrong. And I can't find the silver lining in anything. Or I can't even appreciate a cute dog that walked by or that I woke up feeling rested or I woke up in a place that I feel safe, You know, which kind of gets back to that gratitude stuff. If there is nothing, I confined, right? That is my choice.

spk_0:   31:42
My job. My jet moment. You need to be a freaking ted talk woman

spk_1:   31:47
started in charge? No, in our tent. Miss Byrne, a brown over here.

spk_0:   31:54
Okay. Oh, my gosh. I am just so proud of you. And I cannot believe you wrote every day for 365 days. That is amazing. Did you find any challenging times throughout that It was pretty easy to continue this practice?

spk_1:   32:11
Well, sometimes I'd have Oh, God, I have to go back for a week and write everything I did, right? Like I didn't keep it going every day, but because, like we said, you remember I could be 10 days out and be like, Oh, God, I gotta fill in those pages. But I remembered so vividly what those things were, which I don't know if I could do that. If I wasn't keeping track that way and holding myself accountable to writing something down. I don't know if I would be able to remember with such vivid detail 10 days ago, what happened to me. So that was challenging. Like to commit to something every day is really hard. And so I gave myself flexibility and I said, As long as I fill it out for every day, if so, yeah, there was a couple of times, usually when I was traveling that I would have to catch up when I got home, it was much easier when I'm in my home and my space and in my routines. It's so much easier for me to write daily, but I give myself permission, though that's okay. So the biggest thing that I realized in doing it for 365 days, you kind of said it is that I'm finding my right like the whole thing is I'm creating the life that's right for me every day and I'm using this approach and I'm building exactly what I want to live, and that doesn't mean it's perfect. And that doesn't mean that I have everything like That's not it. But I'm building the life I want to live in a life that I'm proud of in a life that fills me up. And this writing in this journal in writing this book has helped me. If no one ever bought a journal and no one ever read it, this would still be the most successful thing I've ever done because I taught myself how to build a life with Betsy so that it has really settled in in the last few months of one of my good girlfriends, who she kind of had this, like branding marketing conversation with me. She goes aerial today. I did a right is you finding your right? That's what it means to you. And I really think that's that's like my big moment from the year.

spk_0:   34:04
Well, what is your routine look like at home with the journal?

spk_1:   34:08
Yeah, so I wake up. So because I work us hours and my husband does as well, we go to bed like pretty light between, like 12 and two. So way eso es algo is the most days, but we don't wake up till eight or nine. Yeah, so when your whole days flipped, you can't go to bed at 12 and wake up at 5 12 Wake up eight. That's fine. It's not a big deal. So when I wake up, my biggest ritual in the morning is you don't have a dishwasher and there's this beautiful little window, right, Extra dry dishes. So I always put on coffee and I put the dishes away, and that's like my favorite thing to do every morning. And then I have my coffee and I light a candle and I write sometimes they do tarot cards, not all the time, but sometimes. And then if I'm doing some other creative project like that's what I do it first in the morning as I write it, or if I'm writing a letter to someone or I've really gotten into painting recently, like making all my own art. And that's when I like to do that in the morning. So when it's from the day before, correct, I write about the day before.

spk_0:   35:05
Yeah, uh, I would love to talk about Volume two of today. I did it right and I would love for you to share what updates you made and why. Valium, too.

spk_1:   35:16
Yeah, so part for Betsy's in my own creative process, but partly because of how I visioned the future of the business. I want every volume to feel different, so the core approaches the same. But there are so many amazing materials and paper and sizes and colors like I love that stuff. So actually, the production process and the 100 rounds of edits with a graphic designer is my favorite part of the whole process. It was really to keep Betsey, and I engaged one that we're not just rinsing and repeating the same thing that we get to constantly create an evolved. So that's why each version will always be different approaches the same. We tightened it up a little bit because, like anything, it's a living thing and some phrasing changes, but the approach is the same. But the biggest difference is we just took feedback from all of our customers and power users really from other people who've used every day for a year of what parts of it. I kind of felt off for what was in the wrong order or what needed to be kind of updated, because that's the cool thing. When you're creating that, you could make his many changes you want, and it's never gonna be perfect and taking that pressure off. As you know, a creator is huge because there's always potential for what comes next. And because we did so many workshops this year, we pulled a lot of the questions. We know how the work space in the beginning of the journal for people brand new to the concept of getting used to asking themselves, like what does the word right mean to them and which is the word wrong mean to them and all of the things that we discussed in the Zen person events, we now translated into the journal

spk_0:   36:53
I love the Well. We're some other pieces of feedback that you got from people. So I

spk_1:   36:59
love my handwriting's things. Kind of like really cool handwriting. And people like you should write all these things and put it in a book. So we did people in like that and really, which is I'm happy to know that nothing like it. It's just I had them rank like, what's most valuable, what was least valuable. And all of the handwritten quotes, like were invaluable. So we took those out, and so that was something that was interesting to me and also why you get feedback. You know why you ask for how people use something, because just cause I love it doesn't mean someone else's. And I get to look in my handwriting and every entry so I don't have to be so precious that it has to say Okay, some other feedback was just kind of the order, which you wouldn't know until you first got the journal and write it out. And the most surprising thing that I learned in Volume One is that today I didn't write this for everyone. It's not just for women, and Betsy and I are multi generational women were a woman on business. So many of our customers are women. But a lot of the workshops we did had men in them and they were so engaged in the discussion. And men need to do it right to you. And I think so. Many of these products and so many of these philosophies are built for women, right? They think about everyone. We've referenced Bren a brown, Liz Gilbert way we go down the list. It's all women, and I know there's a couple of men out there, but that was my biggest takeaway. So we made a lot of the look and feel more neutral, right, rather than more feminine that it would be enticing for male user to use.

spk_0:   38:35
Wow, that is really fascinated. Think about and I'm curious which of the sections men struggle with the most versus women. Yeah,

spk_1:   38:46
I don't know right? That's great questions that I'm I want the answers to. It's just more about how we wrote things like some definitely some phrasing in there that was directed at women because I am a woman how to write to a woman of my age and he knows how to write to a woman of her age. So we just kind of took those things out to make it feel that if you read it, you wouldn't think it was written for a woman. So that's yeah, I hope that more men use it and we get more feedback for men and volume, too, because I love for them to feel that it's as approachable is women because it's not judge for specific,

spk_0:   39:20
right? Oh, absolutely not. Yeah. Oh, that is really interesting. Are you planning on doing a lot more workshops in this upcoming year? I don't know.

spk_1:   39:30
It depends. The coolest thing about doing the workshops and another unanticipated thing that came out of today I did. The right is I've met the most amazing people. I need you in the fact that since our last podcast, you came to Copenhagen and we have the most amazing night and coconut eso forgot that happened in the last eight months. But I met the most incredible brilliant switched on people. That's why I love the workshops. Is those connections and especially people in Chicago, you know, young entrepreneurs, mostly female, that I've met with it. Just It's so electric. And it is such a special community to be part of. And so I'm interested in it. We don't have any plan for right now. We'll just have to see you. But yeah, I love meeting people in connecting with them in person and growing my own community that

spk_0:   40:20
way. Mm. What's been your favorite memory from year one? I have to say, being

spk_1:   40:26
invited to do that workshop. So the yoga studio I go to and Lund was the title of it is called One hot spot. And Nicky is the owner. When she invited me there, it was a three hour workshop, and it was six people. What are we gonna talk about? My hours most. My workshops for contacts have been 60 minutes. So I prepped a lot, and we didn't even get through half of the questions. And out of that workshop, I met my Swedish best friend, Josephine, and her friendship has just transformed my entire experience in Sweden. And my relationship with Nicky, these two women, I have a community there, like I have a life. And I was convinced I lived in Chicago for 12 years I left behind friends from college, four different jobs. I have so many family members that live here. I was convinced I would never grow a community again. And without today I did it right. I would not have the relationship with these two women I have. And then they're people from there that we've met and the people from there that make it feel like home. And that's all because of today I did it right? And so it's amazing to me. Oh, that That's how I made you know, my best friend, like in my daily life now. And that stands out for sure. It's like the coolest memory of the entire year.

spk_0:   41:47
And how did that happen? Did they know about your journal, or did you share it with them and say, Hey, I would love to present this what that looked like. So, Nikki, we

spk_1:   41:57
actually met on Instagram right when I moved to town because she was the coolest cafe in town, and then the yoga studios like, Oh, these are my She's my person, right? She's gonna be my friend. And so then, because it was through, say, did it right. She she was interested. She bought some journals for the studio, and she's like, I'd love to have you do a workshop. It's part of my teacher training and she just asked me and you know, we'd meet for coffee and lunch sometimes. But it was that event that then solidified how often I see her now and the relationship we have now because before was that way when we get together sometimes. But it wasn't that really friendship,

spk_0:   42:29
right? So cool. What about the most unexpected challenge in the first year? I

spk_1:   42:36
feel like anyone who owns a business can kind of relate to this. It's just not giving into the doubt that, like you have actually built something, you know, I think that that's their especially like I know today did. A right is a successful idea, but maintaining, like selling journals like I'm selling a product and so are people gonna buy it like, how do we get that message out? Am I gonna be left with 300 coffees? Is something you know in my mom's best bedroom, right? So I just think they haven't lasted long like those creative doubt cycles of does anyone care? Is anyone gonna buy this. Is anyone gonna understand it? Like, why don't people want this? But they do, like we sold out of only one, like we pushed them all. But there were seasonality, right? In March. I'm like, Oh, my gosh, we

spk_0:   43:24
got half the stock way. It doesn't matter, because there's no dates, right? It

spk_1:   43:28
doesn't matter. So, yeah, there's no date, so it doesn't matter. You can start wherever you want. But that part, that's like the challenge. And I knew that would be hard, but you gotta not psyching yourself out. And now you're doing something important that see, and I are doing something important at bringing something important into this world. And we can't let stories we tell ourselves, like, Stop us. And so I mean, that was probably the challenge which I think will always be the challenge. It doesn't matter what you do, but especially when you own your own business. Did you have you ever run into that with charge of, like, the doubt of like, is anyone going to do that?

spk_0:   44:03
Oh, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. I'm curious. So you mentioned having the journals at the yoga studio. Have you thought about taking them to more yoga studios.

spk_1:   44:14
Yeah, so it's just it's on my road map of How do we Yeah, we increase people knowing about this, and that's definitely something I'm interested in doing.

spk_0:   44:23
That's huge. And I think I know you would be amazing at more and more workshops, but I mean that in person connection is what everyone wants. And so attending a workshop, not really knowing exactly what they're getting themselves into. And then you talking about the journal, they're gonna be immediately attached and want one. Yeah, so that's huge. So many. I could give ideas all day very modern. Bring a lot. What does doing it right look like to you right now in this season of your life? Yeah.

spk_1:   44:56
So doing it right. I also think people have an idea that it's fixed for me. It's so fluid because we're constantly changing to me, doing it right. I feel like I'm in a new season of lightness. Just figured some stuff out in the last year and just the anticipation of moving and then moving and changing jobs and launching a business. And there's just so many things in the last year. Two years I processed. And I really feel like I've stepped into, like, a new chapter, not saying that, you know, they're always changing, but if it feels light and it feels easy like that's what doing it right is right now and not easy. You know what I mean by using not.

spk_0:   45:40
I know exactly what I mean. That's actually a word of mine right now is easy, mostly in the context of Isaac and I. But we're like, OK, when you just be later Let's be easier on each other. And just more lighthearted, I think, you know, just going with the flow. Like you don't always have to have this tight grip on things, actually, abs to never have that. Yeah,

spk_1:   46:02
So feel like this is a great second story. I wanted to tell you about this lightness.

spk_0:   46:12
All right, I am going to leave you guys with that cliffhanger. So stay tuned for that story and Maur My conversation with Ariel was so long and incredible as usual, so decided to break it up into two episodes. You guys haven't followed aerial yet on Instagram. Her handle is today. I did it right, so make sure to follow her give her some love. She is such an amazing human. And I I love her journal so much. I will talk to you guys next week. Have a great one

spk_1:   46:47
Charge girls. Good morning. Yes, I'm talking to you. Was time to get charged up Because these days you knew this guy says hi Hands blew it And blue with the sun shining and all the birds chirp into two day It's the best day to be alive The miracles appeared once you open your eyes Surprise time to keep living the dream So get up and join the rest of your charge Tain