Never Too Old To Orgasm! Dr. Mistry Answers Listener's Question on Sex in His Seventies
Mar 13, 2021
Dr. Sandeep Mistry and Donna Lee
Thanks for tuning in to the Armor Men’s Health Hour Podcast today, where we bring you the latest and greatest in urology care and the best urology humor out there.
In this segment, Dr. Mistry and Donna Lee answer a listener's question about sexual satisfaction into their golden years. This couple is in their seventies and has used a vibrator in conjunction with vaginal penetration for them both to achieve orgasm. Recently, the listener's wife has begun avoiding sex and he wants to know what he can do to help engage her and make sure she's satisfied. Dr. Mistry loves patients and listeners who are pursuing healthy, loving, and adventurous sex later in life. He suggests a topical cream that helps the clitoris respond to stimulation as well as off-label uses of Viagra and/or yohimbine and cabergoline to lower the orgasmic threshold. The other concern is to ensure the listener's wife isn't experiencing pain that makes sexual stimulation undesirable. Luckily, he is committed to her sexual satisfaction and open to trying new techniques for achieving it. If you or someone you love is struggling sexually, NAU Urology Specialists can help--we can diagnose and treat any number of issues that might be contributing to sexual frustration including pelvic physical therapy and sexual therapy. Whether you're facing painful sex, lack of psychological arousal, or some anatomical concern, our team can get you back on the road to bliss.
If you enjoyed today’s episode, don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share us with a friend! As always, be well!
Dr. Mistry is a board-certified urologist and has been treating patients in the Austin and Greater Williamson County area since he started his private practice in 2007.
We enjoy hearing from you! Email us at armormenshealth@gmail.com and we’ll answer your question in an upcoming episode!
Thanks for tuning in to the Armor Men’s Health Hour Podcast today, where we bring you the latest and greatest in urology care and the best urology humor out there.
In this segment, Dr. Mistry and Donna Lee answer a listener's question about sexual satisfaction into their golden years. This couple is in their seventies and has used a vibrator in conjunction with vaginal penetration for them both to achieve orgasm. Recently, the listener's wife has begun avoiding sex and he wants to know what he can do to help engage her and make sure she's satisfied. Dr. Mistry loves patients and listeners who are pursuing healthy, loving, and adventurous sex later in life. He suggests a topical cream that helps the clitoris respond to stimulation as well as off-label uses of Viagra and/or yohimbine and cabergoline to lower the orgasmic threshold. The other concern is to ensure the listener's wife isn't experiencing pain that makes sexual stimulation undesirable. Luckily, he is committed to her sexual satisfaction and open to trying new techniques for achieving it. If you or someone you love is struggling sexually, NAU Urology Specialists can help--we can diagnose and treat any number of issues that might be contributing to sexual frustration including pelvic physical therapy and sexual therapy. Whether you're facing painful sex, lack of psychological arousal, or some anatomical concern, our team can get you back on the road to bliss.
If you enjoyed today’s episode, don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share us with a friend! As always, be well!
Dr. Mistry is a board-certified urologist and has been treating patients in the Austin and Greater Williamson County area since he started his private practice in 2007.
We enjoy hearing from you! Email us at armormenshealth@gmail.com and we’ll answer your question in an upcoming episode!
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Speaker 1:
Welcome back to the Armor Men's Health Hour with Dr. Mistry and Donna Lee.
Dr. Mistry:
Hello and welcome to the Armor Men's Health Hour. I'm Dr. Mistry, your host, here as always with my cohost, Donna Lee.
Donna Lee:
I just want everybody to know, he just threw a candy wrapper at me. That's the respect level we have here.
Dr. Mistry:
No, no, no. I'm very healthy.
Donna Lee:
He stopped drinking diet Coke, but you throw candy wrapper at me. Guilty!
Dr. Mistry:
My wife hears that I'm eating a candy bar here, she'll be very pissed. I'm Dr. Mistry. That is my real name. This is the men's health show.
Donna Lee:
M-I-S-T-R-Y.
Dr. Mistry:
And this show is brought to you by NAU Urology Specialists. I'm here with my cohost Donna Lee.
Donna Lee:
That's right, Dr. Donna!
Dr. Mistry:
You are not Dr. Donna. You're going to get us in very, very...
Donna Lee:
I played one on the radio. Stayed at a Holiday Inn once.
Dr. Mistry:
This is a show in which we try to really tackle men's health issues--very intimate, very complicated, very, you know, personal men's health issues, and try to give you a really deep understanding of them. One of the ways the show is described as kind of one of the few opportunities you'll get in your life to have a one hour long consultation with a urologist. And I'm like,"Not the only. You get it every week!"
Donna Lee:
That's right. Every week, a brand new podcast just for you, you listener.
Dr. Mistry:
That's right. If you want, if you want to go backwards, you can listen to the other 400 episodes that we already shot.
Donna Lee:
I know, I think you can just Google Armor Men's Health Hour and any topic urology related, and they'll probably get five podcasts.
Dr. Mistry:
Okay, well, if that works, you guys let me know because I've stopped Googling.
Donna Lee:
I just did it the other day. You stopped Googling yourself? You got hurt?
Dr. Mistry:
That's right. Googling yourself can be dangerous. We are still seeing patients in our office. There are four physician providers, five physician assistants and nurse practitioners. We have two pelvic floor physical therapists. We have nutrition, we have sleep, and we have pelvis. We have sex therapy and most importantly, a strong commitment to getting you better from your problems. We see both men and women, even though this is a men's health show, largely done, because I wanted to distinguish ourselves. And there's lots of health shows, but there's only a few men's health shows.
Donna Lee:
Well, I didn't tell you what I started this little thing called the Armor Women's Health Hour featuring Dr. Donna.
Dr. Mistry:
Are you just doing it on your own?
Donna Lee:
Yeah, I'm just doing at home when I'm in between chores.
Dr. Mistry:
You know sometimes I feel when you have the other doctors on, you do talk about these things and it kind of hurts my feelings when they get more downloads.
Donna Lee:
They do. Why do you think that is? It's so funny.
Dr. Mistry:
I don't know.
Donna Lee:
Because it's me basically. I mean, I'm the common denominator.
Dr. Mistry:
" You really, really love me." What drives this show is discussing topics of things that we do in our practice, like shockwave therapy and advanced erectile dysfunction therapy. We treat Peyronie's disease. We have an amazing program for penile girth and length enhancement. We treat kidney stones. We treat orgasmic disorder like delayed or premature ejaculation. We help with current urinary tract infections in both men and women. And then we take it a notch above. So when it comes to male fertility, we deal with nutrition. We deal with your sleep. We deal with your weight. We want to make sure that no matter what's going on with you, we're thinking about you in more than just a one dimensional, two dimensional way. We know that you are a person that lives outside of our clinic, maybe taking meds or having surgeries and the best way to treat you. We can meet you where you're at with supplements, nutrition, with good counseling, discussing things with your wife and family. This is kind of what makes our practice go.
Donna Lee:
And then we also of course take your questions, and we have a perfect one along this line of discussion for orgasmic issues for females. You ready for this one? This is your age group. You like the challenge. So this gentleman says"I'm 78. My wife is 73. We've had orgasm sex using vibrators for years. We would climax her and then I would penetrate and climax. In the past several months due to not having an orgasm, she no longer wants to try. I still do on my end, but she doesn't want to try anymore. I want her to climax so she achieves sexual satisfaction, but she says, it's, it just happens to women as they age. Is there anything that she can do that we can do to help her orgasm with a vibrator or is it just pretty much over for her? Previously as we had sex, she operates the vibrator. She went on and on in detail. And then now she just wants to quit doing this altogether. Any help appreciated."
Dr. Mistry:
That's a great question. Really, you know, there's...
Donna Lee:
Good for them, trying.
Dr. Mistry:
There's so many parts of that, right. To, to continue sexual activity into your seventies is amazing.
Donna Lee:
And to want to please your partner. Good for him.
Dr. Mistry:
That's right. Some of that may be, you know, so you think about kind of the different vectors in which sexual problems can happen. So one of the ones that we think about naturally, but don't know how to address is the, is the psychological one. Sometimes wives do things for us just to do things for us.
Donna Lee:
To get it over with?
Dr. Mistry:
So, so he knows, you know, she knows that for him, it's important that she's sexually satisfied. So even if she only cares if he's sexually satisfied, she knows that she's going to go through all these motions for years maybe just to make sure he's, he's satisfied, you know, by making sure she's satisfied. And maybe she just got tired of doing that. Maybe it hurts. Maybe vibration sensation was the wrong one.
Donna Lee:
Or maybe her body got used to it. Too used to it?
Dr. Mistry:
That's right. That's right. Okay. So there are, it's very interesting, you know, we think of how the, the vibrator works as being kind of a, some kind of stupid little motor in a little machine. But in fact, the Hertz, the frequency that the machine is vibrating at changes from device to device, right. And it could make a real difference. In fact, spinal cord injury patients have a different vibratory stimulation threshold than non-spinal cord injury patients. So we have to have separate vibrators for them. There are separate vibrators for men and women. If you stick a big dildo on a guy's penis, it's not gonna, it's not going to work as well. I mean, not just because of the visual, but because it's just, it just doesn't work right. Because of that, making sure that the tool is right is important.
Donna Lee:
So they may need to change up the tool.
Dr. Mistry:
Sure. And then maybe it doesn't feel good. Maybe it hurts. Maybe there's a lubrication issue. Maybe the clitoris can become somewhat smaller and more involuted. And so it's hard, it's harder to get to the clitoris, so you got to push harder with the vibrator. So these are instances in which certain types of topicals can help. There's a number of what we call arousal agents that can be given to the clitoris to both help it come further out and make it easier to orgasm. And making it easier to orgasm is probably the surest way of getting her back in the mood is what I would guess in this couple. And so we have a topical cream that can be applied to the clitoris that can help make it easier to achieve an orgasm. There's the use of Viagra, which can easily, which can make it easier for women to orgasm. We use yohimbine and cabergoline--these are, off-label use these medicines that are used to decrease the orgasmic threshold to help a woman orgasm. And then there's...
Donna Lee:
These are supplements right?
Dr. Mistry:
These are actual prescription drugs made by a compounding agent.
Donna Lee:
Yohimbine sounds like something out of a forest.
Dr. Mistry:
It does. It does come from like a tree bark.
Donna Lee:
Oh, okay. We're still prescriptions...
Dr. Mistry:
But it makes amazing orgasms.
Donna Lee:
Okay. Sign me up.
Dr. Mistry:
Sign me up.
Donna Lee:
Oh, no. That would take too much time. Go ahead.
Dr. Mistry:
See, that's what I'm talking about. Let's make it, let's make it quicker. Let's make it quicker for everybody. And perhaps more enjoyable. And I think also that if you're in a routine where you're kind of just doing the same thing, I think that's also something to consider. And so if she's pleasuring herself, perhaps something like a finger vibrator for you so that you can, you know, be a little bit more kind of involved. I'm sure this is not what's happening, but it's a lot like,"All right, here's the vibrator. You go take care of yourself. I'll be there in a few minutes." You know, like that's, that's, that's different, right? That's like a different kind of experience.
Donna Lee:
Or maybe they need some visual stimulation. Maybe she needs to watch some porn.
Dr. Mistry:
I think that this is a couple that, that very much might be open to some kind of visual stimulation or something of that nature.
Donna Lee:
We're just taking this taboo subject and making it less taboo.
Dr. Mistry:
Well I think that for sure the vagina has to become a lot more like happy with the vibratory stimulation and what's going on. It is not by nature that age and orgasm somehow don't mix. It's not like it's not by its very nature that you'll stop orgasming.
Donna Lee:
Dang. I just told my husband that the other day, hope he's not listening. Go ahead.
Dr. Mistry:
You're going to go home to a, to a gas-powered vibrator then.
Donna Lee:
What's that thing?!
Dr. Mistry:
And so, and so the fact that this couple is open to sex toys is exceptionally good and really expands the kind of options that we have, but why she has developed, you know, what sounds like a relatively sudden aversion to trying, you have to think about those things that cause aversion. Is it too much work? Is it, is it is the payoff not worth it? And is there pain? And pain ends up being the most significant factor that causes sexual aversion. And it may be just be something that she's only experiencing as discomfort. She may be having urinary problems or burning urgency or frequency. She may be experiencing leakage, any one of a number of things that could make the experience a lot less desirable.
Donna Lee:
Or maybe, maybe fear that she's going to disappoint him. So she's not aroused anymore.
Dr. Mistry:
For sure. You know, I mean the moment she doesn't achieve the goal that he was looking for and kind of, you know, maybe it's not even worth trying, if that's the case. Now, you know, we get these questions kind of in aggregate. So maybe our answer doesn't apply to a particular couple. But I'm trying to give kind of a more holistic kind of approach to how we might handle something like this. If it's a specific issue. I mean, we deal with female orgasmic issues all the time.
Donna Lee:
Right? I just hand my husband a slice of key lime pie and he forgets everything that we're trying to do. He's like,"What? Okay, I'm gonna go to the kitchen."
Dr. Mistry:
Maybe some sex and he won't have heart attacks every couple of years.
Donna Lee:
He wants to defend himself by the way.
Dr. Mistry:
Now I really hope he's not listening.
Donna Lee:
He's going to be on the show in a couple of weeks to defend himself and his small penis.
Dr. Mistry:
Well we look forward to...You're not supposed to say it.
Donna Lee:
Oh, sorry. You can say it now.
Dr. Mistry:
Oh, he's never going to come on. Well, thank you so much. How do people get ahold of us?
Donna Lee:
You can call us at five one two two three eight seven six two. You can email us at armormenshealth@gmail.com and you can send us, or you can visit our website at armormenshealth.com, where you can see Dr. Mistry's smiling, hands and face and learn the pronunciation and spelling of his name, which is M-I-S-T-R-Y. Please listen to our podcasts. They're amazing. We've been voted the second most phenomenal podcast in the entire universe by Feedspot.com. So thanks so much, Dr. Mistry.
Dr. Mistry:
Thank you, Donna.
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The Armor Men's Health Hour is brought to you by Urology Specialists. For questions or to schedule an appointment, please call(512) 238-0762 or online at armormenshealth.com.